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Local updates
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Just having a browse for shits n giggles and came across one that made me  
It said "this covid nonsense is killing swinging"
I think they spelt PEOPLE wrong.
What gems are on your local updates?
Something giggle worthy if you've got one, my locals aren't too funny today. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love the local updates. Well, I do for a giggle, but then I also cringe so hard!!
Just saw:
"Is there any point staying on here? Supposed swingers - more like fridges!"
Because that's going to get you laid isn't it!  |
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"Just having a browse for shits n giggles and came across one that made me
It said "this covid nonsense is killing swinging"
I think they spelt PEOPLE wrong.
What gems are on your local updates?
Something giggle worthy if you've got one, my locals aren't too funny today."
Madness ! Some people
Scary to think peoples priorities  |
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"I love the local updates. Well, I do for a giggle, but then I also cringe so hard!!
Just saw:
"Is there any point staying on here? Supposed swingers - more like fridges!"
Because that's going to get you laid isn't it! "
Bet that status will get them a frosty reception |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
So just had a look and this is why I never look
Looking for a load or a suck.
Will be in such and such an area at 1pm, come meet me.
Left disappointed on this site, women say they like sex but don't actually want it.
Lots and lots of cock in pussy pics amongst other things |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There loads with men posting their phone numbers on my local updates. I’m always genuinely intrigued by people who do this, do they not realise how much information somebody can gain about you from your number? |
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"So just had a look and this is why I never look
Looking for a load or a suck.
Will be in such and such an area at 1pm, come meet me.
Left disappointed on this site, women say they like sex but don't actually want it.
Lots and lots of cock in pussy pics amongst other things "
Boooooooooo *thumbs down* |
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"The best London is offering..... Ladies if your pumpum hygiene cert isn't 5 stars...I'm eating out
Now off to bleach my eyes, knew there was a reason I don’t look at local updates "
Wtf?! Someone has clearly stolen and tweaked my header. I've had it since the day I joined! |
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"The best London is offering..... Ladies if your pumpum hygiene cert isn't 5 stars...I'm eating out
Now off to bleach my eyes, knew there was a reason I don’t look at local updates
Wtf?! Someone has clearly stolen and tweaked my header. I've had it since the day I joined!"
Oops  |
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"The best London is offering..... Ladies if your pumpum hygiene cert isn't 5 stars...I'm eating out
Now off to bleach my eyes, knew there was a reason I don’t look at local updates
Wtf?! Someone has clearly stolen and tweaked my header. I've had it since the day I joined!
Oops "
I mean, there's no way there's anyone else as genius as me. It's clearly theft |
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"The best London is offering..... Ladies if your pumpum hygiene cert isn't 5 stars...I'm eating out
Now off to bleach my eyes, knew there was a reason I don’t look at local updates
Wtf?! Someone has clearly stolen and tweaked my header. I've had it since the day I joined!
Oops
I mean, there's no way there's anyone else as genius as me. It's clearly theft "
Could be or a matching of minds |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cock is ready to burst need someone to come pick me to take me to the woods and let me fuck them passionate"
I found that one rather unsettling. I wonder if anyone responded |
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""Cock is ready to burst need someone to come pick me to take me to the woods and let me fuck them passionate"
I found that one rather unsettling. I wonder if anyone responded "
Where is little red riding hood when you need her eh? |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Changed area to where I am currently and got this "gem"...
Some of the pictures in here make me feel like an unpaid gynaecologist
Tis true mind. I feel like Dr Penis Popper "
Is that like Dr Pepper but with added flavour?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
""Cock is ready to burst need someone to come pick me to take me to the woods and let me fuck them passionate"
I found that one rather unsettling. I wonder if anyone responded
Where is little red riding hood when you need her eh?"
She's too busy being eaten out by the big bad wolf. |
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"Just having a browse for shits n giggles and came across one that made me
It said "this covid nonsense is killing swinging"
I think they spelt PEOPLE wrong.
What gems are on your local updates?
Something giggle worthy if you've got one, my locals aren't too funny today."
There’s a guy we met on fab who has become a good friend too. He does the comedy circuit and his status’s regularly make us chuckle
 |
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Always read them and had many a chuckle about there comments
Seen many of the above comments already mostly by the ladies and some couples.
One lady posted that shes having sex one way or another this christmas covid or not.
I suspect shes going to be let down badly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Majority of my local updates are just people moaning a recent one from someone says they are coming off the site because there are “too many one-handed typists”  |
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"Just having a browse for shits n giggles and came across one that made me
It said "this covid nonsense is killing swinging"
I think they spelt PEOPLE wrong.
What gems are on your local updates?
Something giggle worthy if you've got one, my locals aren't too funny today.
There’s a guy we met on fab who has become a good friend too. He does the comedy circuit and his status’s regularly make us chuckle
"
I do love a funny status. Makes a pleasant read. |
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I changed my settings so I could see a wider variety of updates but nothing really exciting, amusing or interesting.
One chap is looking for a plumber and another fella is looking for a big load on his face.
I knew Worcester was boring but I thought there would be something. I’ll try again about midnight, that tends to be when the real corkers get released. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A straight guy that loves cock when he's high
A lady who wants men to message her, but only if when lay down, their cock touches their belly button
and
A guy who I think is selling his home and is trying to arrange an 'open house' viewing day - he must be shy though as, apparently, he'll be knelt behind the curtain when you get there  |
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"A straight guy that loves cock when he's high
A lady who wants men to message her, but only if when lay down, their cock touches their belly button
and
A guy who I think is selling his home and is trying to arrange an 'open house' viewing day - he must be shy though as, apparently, he'll be knelt behind the curtain when you get there "
Ooooo, you and Doc are close! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A straight guy that loves cock when he's high
A lady who wants men to message her, but only if when lay down, their cock touches their belly button
and
A guy who I think is selling his home and is trying to arrange an 'open house' viewing day - he must be shy though as, apparently, he'll be knelt behind the curtain when you get there
Ooooo, you and Doc are close!"
*nips off to check it wasn't Doc arranging the house viewing |
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"A straight guy that loves cock when he's high
A lady who wants men to message her, but only if when lay down, their cock touches their belly button
and
A guy who I think is selling his home and is trying to arrange an 'open house' viewing day - he must be shy though as, apparently, he'll be knelt behind the curtain when you get there
Ooooo, you and Doc are close!
*nips off to check it wasn't Doc arranging the house viewing "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve just looked through mine, nothing amusing but lots of meet now and gangbang requests... not sure people are grasping this social distancing malarkey |
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By *onny BonesMan
over a year ago
a block away from heaven |
"There loads with men posting their phone numbers on my local updates. I’m always genuinely intrigued by people who do this, do they not realise how much information somebody can gain about you from your number? "
It’s so silly. I wonder if anybody actually calls.... (07777177007) |
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"I think I blocked all the idiots of this type, used to see all the time
"Tied up lubed up arse up, door unlocked at REAL ADDRESS, come in, say nothing, fuck me and go"
"
It's probably their ex's address.... or the local cop shop. That's where I'd send anyone that daft to go! |
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By *ruebameMan
over a year ago
from the womb and tryout to get back |
My funniest is
Here's an idea. Next pic I put up, everyone who fans it gets their name out in a hat. Lucky name to be pulled out gets to meet me after lockdown
there are some looking to meet requests as well like wtf |
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"There loads with men posting their phone numbers on my local updates. I’m always genuinely intrigued by people who do this, do they not realise how much information somebody can gain about you from your number? "
I see similar posts from women round here too (well, Birmingham to be strictly accurate. And probably the scuzzier areas of it too)
I often wonder if they get anyone calling, and their desires fulfilled.
Because it all reeks of desperation to me
I also see women naming and shaming others in their updates, as they've obviously had a falling out. Thought that was against site rules? |
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Mine is hilarious. I forget we all get different updates.
To say there's an epidemic out there. Theres an awful lot of people in close contact of others.
With pictures to prove it too.
Craziness I tell you!
Jo.Xx |
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Just seen these gems in my local area:
"Cuck bf licking me and wanking his little dick in my panties whilst I look for a hung tall dom guy to bb pound me properly & put cuck bf in his place"
"What a miserable Saturday. Nothing to do except her high and play with myself"
Stay classy out there  |
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"I think I blocked all the idiots of this type, used to see all the time
"Tied up lubed up arse up, door unlocked at REAL ADDRESS, come in, say nothing, fuck me and go"
It's probably their ex's address.... or the local cop shop. That's where I'd send anyone that daft to go!"
Yeah either way it's bad news and no ta I'm blocking your stupid arse |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Recently I saw one offering £30 for used knickers.
Another asking for viagra.
Cock pics, status to meet now, suck or unload status's
My block list gets so much bigger.
Fear I'm missing out on the pussy pics though |
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"My local updates have a lot of verifications from “old meets” lol. I’m staying inside "
Yes, it's amazing how many people that's happening to, isn't it?
Like a profile local to me that's had several new veri's this week, all from camming, all saying how good she is at sucking their cocks... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My local updates have a lot of verifications from “old meets” lol. I’m staying inside
Yes, it's amazing how many people that's happening to, isn't it?
Like a profile local to me that's had several new veri's this week, all from camming, all saying how good she is at sucking their cocks... "
Lol sounds like VR happening then huh. Craziness |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mine are all boring "I'm horny" and "lockdown is crap" types...although there is a guy offering free pizza for a meet. I'm not gonna lie, I'm tempted...might see if it includes free delivery "
Pizza is always tempting lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A straight guy that loves cock when he's high
A lady who wants men to message her, but only if when lay down, their cock touches their belly button
and
A guy who I think is selling his home and is trying to arrange an 'open house' viewing day - he must be shy though as, apparently, he'll be knelt behind the curtain when you get there "
You’ve got the same local updates as me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A straight guy that loves cock when he's high
A lady who wants men to message her, but only if when lay down, their cock touches their belly button
and
A guy who I think is selling his home and is trying to arrange an 'open house' viewing day - he must be shy though as, apparently, he'll be knelt behind the curtain when you get there
Ooooo, you and Doc are close!
*nips off to check it wasn't Doc arranging the house viewing "
I should have read this before commenting below |
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"I have 6 fairly new 'Couples'. 5 are male only playing atm, and the 6th is blindfolded wank of the Mrs. "
You too it's amazing how many ladies are so considerate to allow their partner to play alone |
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Ah great minds OP, I was thinking to do this thread too!
Slim pickings with me but I think this one edges it:
"Needing a woman to let me suck her toes while she touches her self"
Good luck!
Mrs TMN x |
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"Mine are all boring "I'm horny" and "lockdown is crap" types...although there is a guy offering free pizza for a meet. I'm not gonna lie, I'm tempted...might see if it includes free delivery "
I think I’ve seen this film |
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A lot in this area are ambiguous in their intentions but a bit obvious as well.
Driving home at 6.30 what can I do.
Saturday night at home, bored I wonder what mischief I can get up to.
Driving down the M6 at 5pm
And a lot of ...anyone free tonight |
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By *JBezantMan
over a year ago
Manchester |
"Recently I saw one offering £30 for used knickers.
Another asking for viagra.
Cock pics, status to meet now, suck or unload status's
My block list gets so much bigger.
Fear I'm missing out on the pussy pics though "
Do you think there’s a market for used boxers? I’ve got some white calvins that have seen better days |
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"The best London is offering..... Ladies if your pumpum hygiene cert isn't 5 stars...I'm eating out
Now off to bleach my eyes, knew there was a reason I don’t look at local updates
Wtf?! Someone has clearly stolen and tweaked my header. I've had it since the day I joined!"
I thought I recognised that.
Yours is worded much better though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A guy asking ...`Has anyone got garden equipment I can borrow now, a lawnmower or trimmer, I want it done before the lady gets back` at 3.20am this morn...LMAO & he was serious... |
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"The best London is offering..... Ladies if your pumpum hygiene cert isn't 5 stars...I'm eating out
Now off to bleach my eyes, knew there was a reason I don’t look at local updates
Wtf?! Someone has clearly stolen and tweaked my header. I've had it since the day I joined!
I thought I recognised that.
Yours is worded much better though "
Ancient too, been there what 5 years? |
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"A guy asking ...`Has anyone got garden equipment I can borrow now, a lawnmower or trimmer, I want it done before the lady gets back` at 3.20am this morn...LMAO & he was serious... "
Tis not often I'm speechless |
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"I changed my settings so I could see a wider variety of updates but nothing really exciting, amusing or interesting.
One chap is looking for a plumber and another fella is looking for a big load on his face.
I knew Worcester was boring but I thought there would be something. I’ll try again about midnight, that tends to be when the real corkers get released. "
I grew up in Worcester.
Never used to be that boring. Maybe it's because I left |
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"I changed my settings so I could see a wider variety of updates but nothing really exciting, amusing or interesting.
One chap is looking for a plumber and another fella is looking for a big load on his face.
Or they're too busy polishing their knobs...? X
I knew Worcester was boring but I thought there would be something. I’ll try again about midnight, that tends to be when the real corkers get released.
I grew up in Worcester.
Never used to be that boring. Maybe it's because I left "
|
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"I changed my settings so I could see a wider variety of updates but nothing really exciting, amusing or interesting.
One chap is looking for a plumber and another fella is looking for a big load on his face.
I knew Worcester was boring but I thought there would be something. I’ll try again about midnight, that tends to be when the real corkers get released.
I grew up in Worcester.
Never used to be that boring. Maybe it's because I left "
It’s true, it’s not been the same since you left. Ask anyone from Worcester and they will say the same |
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"I changed my settings so I could see a wider variety of updates but nothing really exciting, amusing or interesting.
One chap is looking for a plumber and another fella is looking for a big load on his face.
I knew Worcester was boring but I thought there would be something. I’ll try again about midnight, that tends to be when the real corkers get released.
I grew up in Worcester.
Never used to be that boring. Maybe it's because I left "
So YOU were the source of it's sauce |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Many Many of the usual sexually depraved early hr status updates... But we've all seen those site is rife...
One that stands out though recently was a woman repeatedly updating her status about her car boot sale selling used lingerie, underwear and toys... I actually received info about said `lady` from a reliable source... She needs to be avoided like Covid as apparently riddled with STIs  ... I'm not one to judge ever but STI infected and selling used dirty knickers & toys I'm not sure weather to laugh, cry or Puuuuuuukkke"
Pls don't misinterpret, I had absolutely no interest or intention in this `ladys` used `goods` but yes her status was apparently legit as in not a hoax. |
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By *igmaMan
over a year ago
Yorkshire |
"”Would anybody like to get me site supporter? I’d reward you for it”
Balls to that!! 
$eeking £emales to meet 2nite £££££
I see that sort of crap a lot. (Report block)"
Surprisingly she's just become a site supporter
and status is now...
”Who will fill me up and use me. Open to mmf or group” |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Just to redress the balance and show it's not all blokes..
"Whos got wiff and a big girthy cock"
"any girls near the city centre looking for some fun. I want to eat something.... um um um um ummmmmm?"
"On it laters kids"
"Whos genuine, and awake ha"
"Be good to have some company this Friday. And by company I mean chill have drinks dinner I love cooking. Enjoy each other’s company and see what else!!"
Not sure if I'm more appalled by the trying to meet or the dreadful grammar and punctuation tbh. |
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"Just to redress the balance and show it's not all blokes..
"Whos got wiff and a big girthy cock"
"any girls near the city centre looking for some fun. I want to eat something.... um um um um ummmmmm?"
"On it laters kids"
"Whos genuine, and awake ha"
"Be good to have some company this Friday. And by company I mean chill have drinks dinner I love cooking. Enjoy each other’s company and see what else!!"
Not sure if I'm more appalled by the trying to meet or the dreadful grammar and punctuation tbh. "
I'm bi, so yeah, it's women, men, and couples |
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"I changed my settings so I could see a wider variety of updates but nothing really exciting, amusing or interesting.
One chap is looking for a plumber and another fella is looking for a big load on his face.
I knew Worcester was boring but I thought there would be something. I’ll try again about midnight, that tends to be when the real corkers get released.
I grew up in Worcester.
Never used to be that boring. Maybe it's because I left
It’s true, it’s not been the same since you left. Ask anyone from Worcester and they will say the same "
I knew it!
But I'm suprised it's that boring with you two there |
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"I changed my settings so I could see a wider variety of updates but nothing really exciting, amusing or interesting.
One chap is looking for a plumber and another fella is looking for a big load on his face.
I knew Worcester was boring but I thought there would be something. I’ll try again about midnight, that tends to be when the real corkers get released.
I grew up in Worcester.
Never used to be that boring. Maybe it's because I left
It’s true, it’s not been the same since you left. Ask anyone from Worcester and they will say the same
I knew it!
But I'm suprised it's that boring with you two there"
I can’t imagine what you mean, we are very respectable, upstanding members of the community |
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I have just checked again and it is level pegging with guys and couples looking for Saturday night fun and one lady who needs a cock after a rough day at work.
The guy in need of a plumber must have found one as he has changed his status. I may message him and ask him for the number. You never know when you’ll need a plumber. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
This gem,,,,
“love for to ladys m lfuck .me and do as thay like to me or couple play with but man half off couple don’t touch me don’t mine if both play with ladys”
Hmmm any ideas on the meaning?? |
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"This gem,,,,
“love for to ladys m lfuck .me and do as thay like to me or couple play with but man half off couple don’t touch me don’t mine if both play with ladys”
Hmmm any ideas on the meaning?? "
Have you tried google translate? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This gem,,,,
“love for to ladys m lfuck .me and do as thay like to me or couple play with but man half off couple don’t touch me don’t mine if both play with ladys”
Hmmm any ideas on the meaning??
Have you tried google translate?"
Yes, all I got was “Pardon?” |
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"This gem,,,,
“love for to ladys m lfuck .me and do as thay like to me or couple play with but man half off couple don’t touch me don’t mine if both play with ladys”
Hmmm any ideas on the meaning?? "
Sounds like they want couple play with butt man |
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"This gem,,,,
“love for to ladys m lfuck .me and do as thay like to me or couple play with but man half off couple don’t touch me don’t mine if both play with ladys”
Hmmm any ideas on the meaning?? "
I think it means "i want to meet a couple, however I don't want the one with the winky to get too close, I don't do ghey" |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
"Just having a browse for shits n giggles and came across one that made me
It said "this covid nonsense is killing swinging"
I think they spelt PEOPLE wrong.
What gems are on your local updates?
Something giggle worthy if you've got one, my locals aren't too funny today."
Similar thing Peach, but instead of swinging it said “Fab” |
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"Just having a browse for shits n giggles and came across one that made me
It said "this covid nonsense is killing swinging"
I think they spelt PEOPLE wrong.
What gems are on your local updates?
Something giggle worthy if you've got one, my locals aren't too funny today.
Similar thing Peach, but instead of swinging it said “Fab” "
Boggling. Absolutely boggling.
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