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Describe yourself (face and body) in a few words.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

I'm 6 feet 1 inch, dark brown eyes, muscular, full lips, a healthy beard, dimples, and pretty WE.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Ambitiously athletic, adventurous, occasionally lazy lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Average, quiet short,girl next door, quite boring always smiling x

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By *dam1971Man  over a year ago

Bedford


"I'm 6 feet 1 inch, dark brown eyes, muscular, full lips, a healthy beard, dimples, and pretty WE."

What does an unhealthy beard look like?

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By *assing Fancies xCouple  over a year ago

Sherwood Forest

(Both of us) average bodies, normal looking, great company (we think) and easy to get along with

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By *ruebameMan  over a year ago

from the womb and tryout to get back

Average in just about every way 5ft 9"

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By *hrista BellendWoman  over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

6ft brunette with an amazonian physique and big tits, always smiling

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Slowly fossilizing

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By *andyblokeMan  over a year ago

birmingham

Too Nice,friendly,sensual xx

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By *unloversCouple  over a year ago

rotherham

5ft 2. Eyes of blue with long big blonde hair

Bubbly......wicked sense of humour

Likes a few gins and good music

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By *umstibleMan  over a year ago

Colindale

Average all around but funny

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The good bits the bad bits and the ugly bits lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Average all around but funny "

Same as above lol x

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By *innie The MinxWoman  over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Tall, curly, curvy. Average with a pinch of extraordinary

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By *andybeachWoman  over a year ago

In the middle

Obese with a fat face, brown hair and eyes, own eyebrows and nails ohh and fucking hilarious to be around

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By *essica FlabbitWoman  over a year ago

west midlands/shropshire

5ft 6... Fat... Bright red hair.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

6ft, reasonably fit, good laugh, decent chat, laid back

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm 6 feet 1 inch, dark brown eyes, muscular, full lips, a healthy beard, dimples, and pretty WE.

What does an unhealthy beard look like? "

Not great when it has been neglected

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Small, smart, sensual and sexy

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Hunched and decrepit

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Tall, dark and sexually frustrated

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By *stroboy78Man  over a year ago

Abergavenny

Terribly average, extremely shy but easy to talk to

Fuck I can sell myself haha

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By *umstibleMan  over a year ago

Colindale


"Average all around but funny

Same as above lol x"

#TeamAvrage

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

5'8", fairly skinny, brown eyes, black hair, 1 in 10 jokes tend to find their mark

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By *edeWoman  over a year ago

the abyss

Short and squishy

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By *adHatter_RestrainedAliceCouple  over a year ago

In The Hills

Me (Alice) short curvy ginger a little bit broken in places, big heart, big smile and even bigger butt

I will let MadHatter describe himself when he wakes up but I would describe him as tall, bearded, prime Welsh beef

Alice x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Leggy skinny tease, sensual and did I say a tease

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Can look good, can look dreadful

Would like to loose half a stone but not too bothered really.

Very dark hair.

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By *tella HeelsTV/TS  over a year ago

west here ford shire

Saggy long bottom

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Room for improvement, but not too gargoyle like

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By *irty desireWoman  over a year ago

newcatle

Big, loud and mint sense of humour

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By *igmaMan  over a year ago

Yorkshire

Well maintained and regularly serviced.

High millage, but keeps going

Few bodywork dents, but nothing too out of order

1 careful previous owner ...and several that have ragged the arse off it

Starts first time!

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By *luebell888Woman  over a year ago

Glasgowish

Slim, blonde, brown eyes and freckles.x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Lightly bearded, hints of Matt Damon in the dark, 40% human / 30% coffee / 30% cake and biscuit, suitably insulated for winter.

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By *tella HeelsTV/TS  over a year ago

west here ford shire


"Slim, blonde, brown eyes and freckles.x"

Stunning too

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Little

Stupid

Average looking

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Voluptuous and cuddly, with soft skin and a happy face.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Little

Stupid

Average looking

"

I would say definitely above average!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Smiley and chubby ( I'm not giving up wine! )

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Little

Stupid

Average looking

I would say definitely above average! "

Then your wrong

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Me

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Great guy, Great fun and Great to be with....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Awesome.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Little

Stupid

Average looking

I would say definitely above average!

Then your wrong "

Maybe get a new mirror, and throw out the circus one

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Little

Stupid

Average looking

I would say definitely above average!

Then your wrong "

He might not be wrong, he could just have low standards

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By *amie HantsWoman  over a year ago

Atlantis

5ft6 brunette. Not shy around carbs

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By *lbinoGorillaMan  over a year ago

Redditch

Deteriorating rapidly

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By *andare63Man  over a year ago

oldham

Chiselled good looks and a great catch,,,, well that's what my dear old mother said...

ps she had cataracts

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By *amie HantsWoman  over a year ago

Atlantis


"Deteriorating rapidly "

this made me laugh

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

More stomach than man

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By *a LunaWoman  over a year ago

South Wales

6ft 2. Tall, fat, greying brunette.

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By *ememberTheNameMan  over a year ago

barnsley

Young,fit,polite,funny,handsome-ish. Gentleman

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

5ft 6 pretty with long blonde hair. Rubenesque aka fat. Bits that wobble when I walk. Ample boobs

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/11/20 17:31:09]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Lived in, haggard, bent out of shape and smells of dust....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Little

Stupid

Average looking

I would say definitely above average!

Then your wrong

He might not be wrong, he could just have low standards "

Ouch!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

5ft 6 very fat plain normal face likes to have fun I'd like to think I'm caring and a good listener xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

5’9, brown skin, average bod. Like to think I have a sharp mind

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Alright I suppose

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Hot

As

Fuck

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By *.luke7Man  over a year ago

.


"5ft6 brunette. Not shy around carbs "

“Not shy around carbs”

Is this now a describing statement is it? Haha

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By *eliWoman  over a year ago

.

The love child of Miss Piggy and Mr Potato Head with the face of a dorky angel. Hot af.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Think my avatar is pretty self explanatory

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By *.luke7Man  over a year ago

.

Average face, average body, dull af but I’ve got a cute dog

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By *.luke7Man  over a year ago

.


"The love child of Miss Piggy and Mr Potato Head with the face of a dorky angel. Hot af."

Mrs piggy is a filthy little minx

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By *opsy RogersWoman  over a year ago

London

A tall, misanthropic, decent human, attempting to leave a small footprint, positive inspiration and love behind me.

My level of tolerance diminishes with age though, must not get so stabby.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

fat and ugly

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Almost a dwarf

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Almost a dwarf"

Lol

Easier to pick up and throw around the bedroom

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

5ft 4,average, down to earth funny brown eyed girl

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Almost a dwarf

Lol

Easier to pick up and throw around the bedroom "

Time and a place mr.. time and a place

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A face only a mother could love

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By *hilloutMan  over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

Tall, handsome (so told) and athletic. With a warm smile and a naughty glint in the eyes

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By *ooby birdWoman  over a year ago

North West

Im just lovely

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By *ymguy1966Man  over a year ago

Port Talbot

No need for a few, just one word....

Average

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Almost a dwarf

Lol

Easier to pick up and throw around the bedroom

Time and a place mr.. time and a place "

Just need Boris to let us out!!!

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By *9alMan  over a year ago

Bridgend

dirty old man

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Ageing, human, walking, hairy nut sack

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I'm 6 feet 1 inch, dark brown eyes, muscular, full lips, a healthy beard, dimples, and pretty WE.

What does an unhealthy beard look like? "

Lmfao good question, I guess a beard that's trying lol not a full beard, but one that is struggling lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

On a good day I'd say I'm voluptuous and can scrub up OK. On a bad day I look and feel both fat and ugly.

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By *arlomaleMan  over a year ago

darlington

Fat ugly useless clot and terrible hygiene

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Me (Alice) short curvy ginger a little bit broken in places, big heart, big smile and even bigger butt

I will let MadHatter describe himself when he wakes up but I would describe him as tall, bearded, prime Welsh beef

Alice x"

Lol at prime Welsh beef, haha

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By *all-Eddies QosCouple  over a year ago

wirral

Short, round and mental

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Chubby, old, battered and ugly

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By *ikesEmBigMan  over a year ago

Herts

Ugly minging bastard

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ugly minging bastard"

agree.. lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ugly minging bastard"

Sounds about right

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Meh.

Is that too few?

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By *urora1912Woman  over a year ago

Norfolk East anglia

5ft6, curvy, dirty blonde, blue eyed, military uniform lover lol

Bit of a bitch at times

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Tall, leggy, striking, cerebral, adrenaline junkie

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By *assing Fancies xCouple  over a year ago

Sherwood Forest

Take care of ourselves (ish) handful in the bedroom (you better bring a boost and a lucozade with you)

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By *tace 309TV/TS  over a year ago

durham

Special

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Tall, dark and horny.

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By *uddly GoblinMan  over a year ago

Manchester

Shrek with hair

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By *illy_the_tvTV/TS  over a year ago

hoorn, Netherlands

Potato, sometimes a potato in makeup

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By *ily WhiteWoman  over a year ago

?

Curvy, smiley blonde, with a sharp wit and an even sharper tongue

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By *acey_RedWoman  over a year ago

Liverpool

A little chunky but funky

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Curvy, smiley blonde, with a sharp wit and an even sharper tongue "
you forgot the head butt ability

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By *JBezantMan  over a year ago

Manchester

Passionate softy, with the ability to be both supremely intelligent and completely inept at the same time.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

big tits board with netfix but not wine lol

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West

Curvy/chubby, bright blue eyes, short light brown hair, saggy boobs and belly, one functional leg, decent bum

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Body - chunky

Face - monkey

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Little

Stupid

Average looking

I would say definitely above average!

Then your wrong

He might not be wrong, he could just have low standards

Ouch!"

I agree

Hang on a minute

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

5'6, average looking... (Altho some say I look good "for my age" ) carrying several extra lbs that wobble way too much, fun to be around, loves gin oh and gives good head!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

6ft1 , dark hair & blue eyes

Smell great , dress well (when needed) also love a down day!

Covered in tattoos!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Average height,Brown eyes,long brown hair,below average looks. Body like a deflated balloon. Quiet,difficult,surprising.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

5’3, size 4 feet, few tattoos, techno, and awesome personality!

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By *JBezantMan  over a year ago

Manchester


"5'6, average looking... (Altho some say I look good "for my age" ) carrying several extra lbs that wobble way too much, fun to be around, loves gin oh and gives good head! "

Gin and good head is more than enough for me!

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By *JBezantMan  over a year ago

Manchester


"5’3, size 4 feet, few tattoos, techno, and awesome personality!"

Thanks for the video on your profile, improved my day no end!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Spacious 1970s semi, some period features showing their age. Full gas central heating throughout. Poor kerb appeal belies warm interior. May benefit from repeated viewings.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

4 legs , lean & hairy , luv to be whipped on the final furlong

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Girl next door nerdy, muscular with a bit too much padding at the moment.

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By *iaisonseekerMan  over a year ago

Liverpool

A captivating combination of sexual charisma and iron-willed sphincter control.

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By *JBezantMan  over a year ago

Manchester


"A captivating combination of sexual charisma and iron-willed sphincter control."

WOW! Hahaha

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Little

Stupid

Average looking

I would say definitely above average!

Then your wrong

He might not be wrong, he could just have low standards

Ouch!

I agree

Hang on a minute "

It's ok, I share those standards if it makes you feel better

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By *iaisonseekerMan  over a year ago

Liverpool


"A captivating combination of sexual charisma and iron-willed sphincter control.

WOW! Hahaha"

Gets you nowhere on Tinder, believe me

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Face.... Ruptured Spleen

Body .....Melted Welly

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Multi scarred scrotum , vasectomy, tortion ops .

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Fat, ugly, unpleasant

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By *underland5573Man  over a year ago

sunderland

fat and past my sell by date...but a millionaire..and a liar when it comes to finances

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Frumpy and deranged

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By *orraine999Woman  over a year ago

Somewhere

5’4” and a good sense of humor. I can be a handful but that’s why you have two hands.

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By *ohn123456789999Man  over a year ago

hastings

old used ad abused

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By *onnnie72Man  over a year ago

west bromwich


"Curvy/chubby, bright blue eyes, short light brown hair, saggy boobs and belly, one functional leg, decent bum "

Sounds pretty damn perfect to me

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Curvy, green eyed brunette with hip length hair. 5'4" with wide hips and thick thighs.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

6'4 slim tattooed and a bit nerdy

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