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Feeling shit..
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Where's the book for 'How to deal with pre teens?'
Sorry i know this isnt Mumsnet,, meh | |||
"Had a proper verbal spat with my daughter this morning.. She isn't even a teenager yet but FML its hard. I just feel like i am struggling with these new changes and i feel like a failure because as the adult i cant cope. I feel worse because its actually her that is struggling and physically changing and i am the adult and the logical one. I should be able to 'suck it up' We had a proper verbal argument (I am NEVER like that) She stormed off to school 30 mins earlier than she needed too. I just know she will be pondering this all day long, and she will dread coming home thinking i am geared up for round 2. I feel guilty. I phoned the school in tears to explain what happened and if they could get a note to her to say 'mum loves you and is sorry'.. God i am a mess right now
Where's the book for 'How to deal with pre teens?'
Sorry i know this isnt Mumsnet,, meh "I hear you, Sassy, it's tough! We've seen huge changes in attitude, mood swings, sulks, all sorts these past few months. I find it really difficult to handle sometimes - my tolerance is low
Mrs TMN x | |||
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Take heart in how you have taken this and realise that you are a good mum. | |||
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"I hear you, Sassy, it's tough! We've seen huge changes in attitude, mood swings, sulks, all sorts these past few months. I find it really difficult to handle sometimes - my tolerance is low
Mrs TMN x"She is the perfect student at school. i get emails and phone calls. She is a smart and academically blessed girl, she works hard and we really bonded during home schooling over lockdown. She's been elected head girl etc.. Just at home with me its grunts, grumbles, snidey comments. Her bedtime is 9, but lately she has still been awake at 11pm.. then she is grumpy in the morning, wont shower.. refuses breakfast. Puts rubbish on the kitchen worktop rather than the bin directly underneath it.. Clothes thrown by her wash basket.. arghhh | |||
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"Imagine how she feels getting that note? It’s going to brighten her day. (Or embarrass the hell out of her )
Take heart in how you have taken this and realise that you are a good mum. "I really do hope she wont this morning effect her too much.. i just know how fragile mental health can be. One thing can effect another and it just spirals.. I hope the note will break the cycle. God i love her.. | |||
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"Hey! It's something we are never given a manual on ....'how to deal with kids'. It's a hit and miss as to what works. Just feel awesome about yourself that you did that with the note into school!! Most wouldn't! Shows a true, caring and albeit upset nature! We can't get it right all of the time, parents to little people that are growing up, especially! Jebus, I've got a 24 and a 21 year old and I still make mistakes, because I've never had one of each sex at one of each age before! It's an every single day learning curve!! Never ever feel bad! You feel bad? Little person feels bad because they feel your tention. Love the fact that you have a little person you can nurture and teach, it's the best feeling in the world! The 2nd best?? Knowing that you can make your mistakes along the way, feel them 100% and know that you and little person will feel better later, after a hand hold and a hot chocolate .... Possibly a bickie, after they come home! Huge loves, keep going, you're a mum.... A strong girl! Xx" She truly is my world.. love her more than anything but jesus does she do some silly things that just winds me up.. I feel bad that i lost my cool when normally i am so calm and collected. Me and her have always been so spot on with communicating. We sit, talk and listen. We say our piece with no voices raised. We figure out a compromise and it gets dealt with in a very adult way.. today was just a verbal slagging match
I cant handle it | |||
"I hear you, Sassy, it's tough! We've seen huge changes in attitude, mood swings, sulks, all sorts these past few months. I find it really difficult to handle sometimes - my tolerance is low
Mrs TMN x
She is the perfect student at school. i get emails and phone calls. She is a smart and academically blessed girl, she works hard and we really bonded during home schooling over lockdown. She's been elected head girl etc..
Just at home with me its grunts, grumbles, snidey comments. Her bedtime is 9, but lately she has still been awake at 11pm.. then she is grumpy in the morning, wont shower.. refuses breakfast. Puts rubbish on the kitchen worktop rather than the bin directly underneath it.. Clothes thrown by her wash basket..
I feel all those things! Add that to taking glasses of milk to her room and just leaving them turn to cheese. Just bring the flipping glasses back down!!!!
arghhh " | |||
" and it gets dealt with in a very adult way.. today was just a verbal slagging match
I cant handle it "Just to add, she is not an adult yet and it is easy to assume that her inner responses will be adult like, whereas in reality there is a little girl inside trying to be grown up and not always succeeding, which in itself is difficult for her. I think you are handling it brilliantly. | |||
"Had a proper verbal spat with my daughter this morning.. She isn't even a teenager yet but FML its hard. I just feel like i am struggling with these new changes and i feel like a failure because as the adult i cant cope. I feel worse because its actually her that is struggling and physically changing and i am the adult and the logical one. I should be able to 'suck it up' We had a proper verbal argument (I am NEVER like that) She stormed off to school 30 mins earlier than she needed too. I just know she will be pondering this all day long, and she will dread coming home thinking i am geared up for round 2. I feel guilty. I phoned the school in tears to explain what happened and if they could get a note to her to say 'mum loves you and is sorry'.. God i am a mess right now
Where's the book for 'How to deal with pre teens?'
Sorry i know this isnt Mumsnet,, meh "Sorry to hear its rough CNS, as others have said, it's been a really tough year so far and with the emotional roller coaster that is Xmas just starting, it's going to get tougher. I can't offer much as far as mother daughter relationships... But I do know we as parents need to be careful what we say in heated moments... Sometimes the cheapest throw away line can sit with someone for a lifetime.... My dad said I "disappointed him"... When I was about 13...hurts me to this day. So try not to say anything you wished you hadn't. Other than that... There are much better "counsel" on here than me. I just wish you all the best with it. Underneath it all... You are so passionate about it because you care and that's really important to keep in mind. | |||
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"Hey! It's something we are never given a manual on ....'how to deal with kids'. It's a hit and miss as to what works. Just feel awesome about yourself that you did that with the note into school!! Most wouldn't! Shows a true, caring and albeit upset nature! We can't get it right all of the time, parents to little people that are growing up, especially! Jebus, I've got a 24 and a 21 year old and I still make mistakes, because I've never had one of each sex at one of each age before! It's an every single day learning curve!! Never ever feel bad! You feel bad? Little person feels bad because they feel your tention. Love the fact that you have a little person you can nurture and teach, it's the best feeling in the world! The 2nd best?? Knowing that you can make your mistakes along the way, feel them 100% and know that you and little person will feel better later, after a hand hold and a hot chocolate .... Possibly a bickie, after they come home! Huge loves, keep going, you're a mum.... A strong girl! Xx She truly is my world.. love her more than anything but jesus does she do some silly things that just winds me up.. I feel bad that i lost my cool when normally i am so calm and collected. Me and her have always been so spot on with communicating. We sit, talk and listen. We say our piece with no voices raised. We figure out a compromise and it gets dealt with in a very adult way.. today was just a verbal slagging match
I cant handle it "Yes you can!! You think it's unusual?? Trust me, it really isn't! Your little person is younger than mine... Batten down the hatches, girlie, it gets harder before it gets easier!!! That said, it gets easier to deal with, to understand and to cope!.listen, ok? You're doing well, you're doing a grand job. Look towards the good times, try to look at the bad times as a view to their smaller person turmoils and tribulations and remember back to the days you were going through it all, the hormone change, the shift of outlook, the wanting to be big but wanting the protection of being little! And remember.... You're a mum, adult, you make the rules and you're awesome because you have managed to get them to the point where they are! They're just now on the path of learning what a boundary means xx | |||
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"I hear you, Sassy, it's tough! We've seen huge changes in attitude, mood swings, sulks, all sorts these past few months. I find it really difficult to handle sometimes - my tolerance is low
Mrs TMN x
She is the perfect student at school. i get emails and phone calls. She is a smart and academically blessed girl, she works hard and we really bonded during home schooling over lockdown. She's been elected head girl etc..
Just at home with me its grunts, grumbles, snidey comments. Her bedtime is 9, but lately she has still been awake at 11pm.. then she is grumpy in the morning, wont shower.. refuses breakfast. Puts rubbish on the kitchen worktop rather than the bin directly underneath it.. Clothes thrown by her wash basket..
arghhh "Our daughter is 24 ..was head girl .lol..and is a teacher now ..& back home atm..was moody ...still has her moments...& is messy LOL...be patient ..be loving ..be available ..be open ..be Mun....not forgetting its very stress full for us all this year ..you will work it out ....kids eh !! | |||
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"I hear you, Sassy, it's tough! We've seen huge changes in attitude, mood swings, sulks, all sorts these past few months. I find it really difficult to handle sometimes - my tolerance is low
Mrs TMN x
She is the perfect student at school. i get emails and phone calls. She is a smart and academically blessed girl, she works hard and we really bonded during home schooling over lockdown. She's been elected head girl etc..
Just at home with me its grunts, grumbles, snidey comments. Her bedtime is 9, but lately she has still been awake at 11pm.. then she is grumpy in the morning, wont shower.. refuses breakfast. Puts rubbish on the kitchen worktop rather than the bin directly underneath it.. Clothes thrown by her wash basket..
arghhh "Isn't that what teens do?
If you had a good relationship during lockdown that's good. Talk to her. She's probably just as frustrated and angry at 2020 as you are.
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"Had a proper verbal spat with my daughter this morning.. She isn't even a teenager yet but FML its hard. I just feel like i am struggling with these new changes and i feel like a failure because as the adult i cant cope. I feel worse because its actually her that is struggling and physically changing and i am the adult and the logical one. I should be able to 'suck it up' We had a proper verbal argument (I am NEVER like that) She stormed off to school 30 mins earlier than she needed too. I just know she will be pondering this all day long, and she will dread coming home thinking i am geared up for round 2. I feel guilty. I phoned the school in tears to explain what happened and if they could get a note to her to say 'mum loves you and is sorry'.. God i am a mess right now
Where's the book for 'How to deal with pre teens?'
Sorry i know this isnt Mumsnet,, meh "You sound like a wonderful Mum. Not many would have rang the school to pass on that message. She's a lucky girl. I think times are stressful for everyone and you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Maybe bake her her favourite treat or make her her favourite tea. | |||
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Jo.Xx | |||
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"Had a proper verbal spat with my daughter this morning.. She isn't even a teenager yet but FML its hard. I just feel like i am struggling with these new changes and i feel like a failure because as the adult i cant cope. . I feel worse because its actually her that is struggling and physically changing and i am the adult and the logical one. I should be able to 'suck it up' We had a proper verbal argument (I am NEVER like that) She stormed off to school 30 mins earlier than she needed too. I just know she will be pondering this all day long, and she will dread coming home thinking i am geared up for round 2. I feel guilty. I phoned the school in tears to explain what happened and if they could get a note to her to say 'mum loves you and is sorry'.. God i am a mess right now
Where's the book for 'How to deal with pre teens?'
Sorry i know this isnt Mumsnet,, meh "My kids are pre 5 years old and i feel like im always angry at them for the daft things they do. Its hard, really hard just now. I worry that my behaviour is impacting on their behaviour which it must be but we are all in such an odd situation right now that i suppose we all need to take a breath. Try not to be too hard on yourself and try talking to her tonight to clear the air | |||
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"Gosh so many kind words, im sorry ive not replied to you all individually but thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for the words of support. I felt so alone like maybe i am the only one going through this but i guess i am clearly not. The school rang back to say my daughter is fine which is wonderful too. Im a lone parent and guess ii am her emotional punch bag, but as someone said its because she trusts me. i know she is a fine young lady and a role model. Spag bol will be made tonight, disney film and some sweets "
But her a new book  | |||
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"Little update.. she came home. Gave me a huge hug, said she got the message. We spoke calmly, both said sorry. Watched a Xmas film on Netflix. Id gone to the shop and bought popcorn then made a quick dinner of sweet n sour chicken with rice. Dead simple but just what we needed.. xxx" | |||
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"Little update.. she came home. Gave me a huge hug, said she got the message. We spoke calmly, both said sorry. Watched a Xmas film on Netflix. Id gone to the shop and bought popcorn then made a quick dinner of sweet n sour chicken with rice. Dead simple but just what we needed.. xxx" Very nice!! Teens can be challenging. I just think that all I can do for my daughter is to be the person I needed myself when I was her age. Hang in there... she will grow soon, with you by her side  | |||
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"Sassy your a mum. I’ve got a son who’s 27. Sailed through bringing him up. I also gave a three year old daughter who thinks she’s 23. I’ve been trying to get her to bed since 7pm. I think she’s finally asleep now and it’s almost 11pm. She’s hD to tell me lots of stuff about Santa about nursery about her toys. She’s been to the loo pretending to pee. Brushed her teeth three times. Had a sore finger and told me to shut up , I love the bones of her but she can really push my buttons at times. I’m now going to sneak upstairs and into my bed in the hope that she stays in her own bed even just for one night this week. I’m so bloody tired. But she’s mine and I’m hers always. Any tips on getting a toddler to bed at night much appreciated x" Lone parent to be honest i cant remember back to toddler days as i was so sleep deprived everything was a blurr.. Good luck.. if not.. try calpol | |||
"Little update.. she came home. Gave me a huge hug, said she got the message. We spoke calmly, both said sorry. Watched a Xmas film on Netflix. Id gone to the shop and bought popcorn then made a quick dinner of sweet n sour chicken with rice. Dead simple but just what we needed.. xxx" | |||
"Little update.. she came home. Gave me a huge hug, said she got the message. We spoke calmly, both said sorry. Watched a Xmas film on Netflix. Id gone to the shop and bought popcorn then made a quick dinner of sweet n sour chicken with rice. Dead simple but just what we needed.. xxx" Thats so lovely Please know that you arent alone Its bloody tough being a parent.And from what you've written its obvious you are a bloody good one My son was an A student. A gorgeous child. There was me feeling right pleased with meself. Look at me. Ive created the perfect child Puberty hit, and he morphed into a monster literally overnight. He has pushed me to the point where Ive come close to ending up in hospital Last week we walked hand in hand down the road and he said " I'm sorry" I had to hold in the tears Please be kind to yourself. And know that it will be ok | |||
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"Little update.. she came home. Gave me a huge hug, said she got the message. We spoke calmly, both said sorry. Watched a Xmas film on Netflix. Id gone to the shop and bought popcorn then made a quick dinner of sweet n sour chicken with rice. Dead simple but just what we needed.. xxx Thats so lovely Please know that you arent alone Its bloody tough being a parent.And from what you've written its obvious you are a bloody good one My son was an A student. A gorgeous child. There was me feeling right pleased with meself. Look at me. Ive created the perfect child Puberty hit, and he morphed into a monster literally overnight. He has pushed me to the point where Ive come close to ending up in hospital Last week we walked hand in hand down the road and he said " I'm sorry" I had to hold in the tears Please be kind to yourself. And know that it will be ok" That’s two really heartwarming stories. You should be very proud | |||
"Little update.. she came home. Gave me a huge hug, said she got the message. We spoke calmly, both said sorry. Watched a Xmas film on Netflix. Id gone to the shop and bought popcorn then made a quick dinner of sweet n sour chicken with rice. Dead simple but just what we needed.. xxx Thats so lovely Please know that you arent alone Its bloody tough being a parent.And from what you've written its obvious you are a bloody good one My son was an A student. A gorgeous child. There was me feeling right pleased with meself. Look at me. Ive created the perfect child Puberty hit, and he morphed into a monster literally overnight. He has pushed me to the point where Ive come close to ending up in hospital Last week we walked hand in hand down the road and he said " I'm sorry" I had to hold in the tears Please be kind to yourself. And know that it will be ok" And now I'm welling up | |||
"Little update.. she came home. Gave me a huge hug, said she got the message. We spoke calmly, both said sorry. Watched a Xmas film on Netflix. Id gone to the shop and bought popcorn then made a quick dinner of sweet n sour chicken with rice. Dead simple but just what we needed.. xxx Thats so lovely Please know that you arent alone Its bloody tough being a parent.And from what you've written its obvious you are a bloody good one My son was an A student. A gorgeous child. There was me feeling right pleased with meself. Look at me. Ive created the perfect child Puberty hit, and he morphed into a monster literally overnight. He has pushed me to the point where Ive come close to ending up in hospital Last week we walked hand in hand down the road and he said " I'm sorry" I had to hold in the tears Please be kind to yourself. And know that it will be ok That’s two really heartwarming stories. You should be very proud " More relieved tbh I pray we are over the worst. Lol | |||
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"Little update.. she came home. Gave me a huge hug, said she got the message. We spoke calmly, both said sorry. Watched a Xmas film on Netflix. Id gone to the shop and bought popcorn then made a quick dinner of sweet n sour chicken with rice. Dead simple but just what we needed.. xxx" Aww delighted to here this  | |||
"Group virtual hugs all around?? Honestly thanks all for the comments on here and via PM.. i know she is a great girl, she is just going through a tough time and physically entering the next stage of her life. Truly seams like yesterday that she was just a baby.. but she is turning into a young lady. I am eternally proud of all she has achieved so far in her nearly 11 years.. Ive got myself a tin hat as im sure there will be more blazing rows with her i just have to be better equipped with how to deal with them. Hugs to everyone who needs them x x x x" How did it go this morning? | |||
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