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Dumbest
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What’s the dumbest thing you ever did as a kid?
My shining moment was when I was about 5? I put armbands on my feet and jumped into a pool thinking I’d walk on water. I almost drowned. |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
I roller-skated down a hill, it was only when a parked car started looming that I realised I couldn’t stop and panic set in. I aimed for a lamppost, grabbed it, swivelled round it at speed and banged my forehead.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I roller-skated down a hill, it was only when a parked car started looming that I realised I couldn’t stop and panic set in. I aimed for a lamppost, grabbed it, swivelled round it at speed and banged my forehead.
"
We’re you in an episode of Last of the Summer Wine ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I laid on a skateboard face first and rolled down the biggest hill but it turned into gravel halfway down... knocked 3 teeth out and had gravel rash over my entire face, arms and legs. |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
"I roller-skated down a hill, it was only when a parked car started looming that I realised I couldn’t stop and panic set in. I aimed for a lamppost, grabbed it, swivelled round it at speed and banged my forehead.
We’re you in an episode of Last of the Summer Wine ?"
I’m distantly related to Compo  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I roller-skated down a hill, it was only when a parked car started looming that I realised I couldn’t stop and panic set in. I aimed for a lamppost, grabbed it, swivelled round it at speed and banged my forehead.
"
Wow you were lucky you managed to grab the pole. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"What’s the dumbest thing you ever did as a kid?
My shining moment was when I was about 5? I put armbands on my feet and jumped into a pool thinking I’d walk on water. I almost drowned."
You know this had me in stitches (sorry!) and I am quite tempted to try it out.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I roller-skated down a hill, it was only when a parked car started looming that I realised I couldn’t stop and panic set in. I aimed for a lamppost, grabbed it, swivelled round it at speed and banged my forehead.
We’re you in an episode of Last of the Summer Wine ?"
Was a great episode  |
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"What’s the dumbest thing you ever did as a kid?
My shining moment was when I was about 5? I put armbands on my feet and jumped into a pool thinking I’d walk on water. I almost drowned.
You know this had me in stitches (sorry!) and I am quite tempted to try it out. "
I had to pass a fully clothed swimming test when I was four, I think |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I laid on a skateboard face first and rolled down the biggest hill but it turned into gravel halfway down... knocked 3 teeth out and had gravel rash over my entire face, arms and legs."
Hope they were your baby teeth  |
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Biking on the pavement alongside the TV repair man’s van (yes, I’m that old)... looking at the van and not where I was going, straight off the end of the path, into the road and over the bonnet of a car |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Biking on the pavement alongside the TV repair man’s van (yes, I’m that old)... looking at the van and not where I was going, straight off the end of the path, into the road and over the bonnet of a car"
Jeeze and you are here to tell the tale???
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sat in a shopping trolley with my brother (we were ages 8 & 6) and hurtled down the ramp to the Supermarket underground car park.....getting faster and faster, until it clipped the side before it hit the wall at the end, flipped over and chucked us out, skidding across the floor and only just slowing down before the last wall......and the trolley narrowly missing us.
We were bruised but badly shaken. Would have been much worse if we had hit the end wall!!!!!
I'm not sure I've grown up a huge amount since then!
 |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Sat in a shopping trolley with my brother (we were ages 8 & 6) and hurtled down the ramp to the Supermarket underground car park.....getting faster and faster, until it clipped the side before it hit the wall at the end, flipped over and chucked us out, skidding across the floor and only just slowing down before the last wall......and the trolley narrowly missing us.
We were bruised but badly shaken. Would have been much worse if we had hit the end wall!!!!!
I'm not sure I've grown up a huge amount since then!
"
There is me wondering if that made you choose your profile name |
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When I was young I hated wearing shoes so I was always hurting my feet.
I once pulled a sofa over my toe and pulled my nail off.
I ran under an apple tree barefoot in autumn and got stung by a load of d*unk wasps.
I decided to walk to a local park without my shoes in the middle of summer and blistered the entirety of both soles 
Some people never learn |
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My mum asked me to retrieve something that had fallen behind the sideboard. She gave me a knitting needle to try to push it upwards for her to grab a hold of. I rammed it straight into the two way socket plugged in the wall! Threw me right across the room and the flames shot up the wall. I still had the knitting needle in my hand all black and charred.... Me and electricals do not get on to this day.... |
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I have a few others...
Once “polished” my Nan’s sofa with a tub of margarine..
Spray painted the side of a brand new White car green...
Used to think that standing on electrical cables stopped the electricity travelling down them.. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"My mum asked me to retrieve something that had fallen behind the sideboard. She gave me a knitting needle to try to push it upwards for her to grab a hold of. I rammed it straight into the two way socket plugged in the wall! Threw me right across the room and the flames shot up the wall. I still had the knitting needle in my hand all black and charred.... Me and electricals do not get on to this day.... "
I cannot even type properly I am laughing so much. Glad you are ok though x |
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My big sis and i decided we wanted to be blood sisters so we locked ourselves in the bathroom so we could cut ourselves with dads razor. She made me go first but after seeing all my blood decided she nolonger wanted to play. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My uncle is 4 years older than me so was more like my brother growing up as I was always over my grans house. Anyway he was petrified of spiders and severely asthmatic so when my friends tarantula shed its skin I thought it would be ‘fun’ to put the skin in his bed under his quilt. If anyone’s ever seen a tarantula skin it looks like the actual spider and even has hair on.
He goes to his room and I assume got into bed then all hell broke loose. Heard a massive crash, went in his room he’s having a massive asthma attack and collapsed on the floor, they had to take him in ambulance the whole lot.
I got into so much trouble for that. He is okay now though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I shut my eyes while on my tricycle and went down a steep hill at speed...
Smack-Bang I collided with a parked van and needed hospital treatment. (Aged 3 btw)  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I laid on a skateboard face first and rolled down the biggest hill but it turned into gravel halfway down... knocked 3 teeth out and had gravel rash over my entire face, arms and legs.
Hope they were your baby teeth "
They were luckily! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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About 18 was kicking out time in town - me & a few mates missed last train so we decided would be a great idea to walk home along the track, Obviously a train would come hurtling along screaming it's horn, We survived....Just. |
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"My mum asked me to retrieve something that had fallen behind the sideboard. She gave me a knitting needle to try to push it upwards for her to grab a hold of. I rammed it straight into the two way socket plugged in the wall! Threw me right across the room and the flames shot up the wall. I still had the knitting needle in my hand all black and charred.... Me and electricals do not get on to this day.... "
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Got my head stuck in the bars of my kid brothers cot. I think I was about 3 or 4? I distinctly remember the smell of the butter my mother smeared over my face and ears, trying to pull me out. In the end, firemen arrived.
I swear that's why I can't stand butter to this day |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Actually just remembered a couple of others... riding my bike I decided to get our 50kg dog to pull me along, only my dad arrived home and she got excited so took off and I flew over the handlebars.
I also thought it would be fun to let my brother zip me inside a suitcase and slide it down the stairs... it rolled rather than slid  |
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On holiday in Cornwall I was 10 my sister 5 we went to play at the waters edge in a rubber dinghy, in no time we were being swept out to sea me frantically trying to paddle back inshore but getting nowhere after a couple of hours we were spotted and rescued by a Royal Navy helicopter |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
We got into so much trouble as teenagers , night fishing once we climbed over a fence into a pork farms factory and eat a load of out of date pies and spent the rest of the night throwing up in the river Trent. And an incident with killer which left a crater in my friends garden and disintegrated his hedge - we weren't invited back there for tea again! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Bike down an incredibly steep hill. Went arse over tit, bike landed on me. No real harm done but Jesus the fuck was I thinking "
That it was fun. Was it the best ride of your life ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hated School and was adamant I wasn't going, my Mum was adamant I was...I decided to pull the cupboard over onto myself, sat on top was the tea pot full of boiling hot water....Me covered in tea leaves sat manically laughing that I couldn't go .....After a bath I was frogmarched to School. I was 6 
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What’s the dumbest thing you ever did as a kid?
My shining moment was when I was about 5? I put armbands on my feet and jumped into a pool thinking I’d walk on water. I almost drowned.
You know this had me in stitches (sorry!) and I am quite tempted to try it out. "
It doesn't work. Trust me. The lifeguard had to jump into save me. |
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"I hated School and was adamant I wasn't going, my Mum was adamant I was...I decided to pull the cupboard over onto myself, sat on top was the tea pot full of boiling hot water....Me covered in tea leaves sat manically laughing that I couldn't go .....After a bath I was frogmarched to School. I was 6
"
My mother was the same. You had to look like you were actually close to death, or have a limb hanging off before she would even consider keeping us off school |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What’s the dumbest thing you ever did as a kid?
My shining moment was when I was about 5? I put armbands on my feet and jumped into a pool thinking I’d walk on water. I almost drowned.
You know this had me in stitches (sorry!) and I am quite tempted to try it out.
I had to pass a fully clothed swimming test when I was four, I think"
What for ? |
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"I hated School and was adamant I wasn't going, my Mum was adamant I was...I decided to pull the cupboard over onto myself, sat on top was the tea pot full of boiling hot water....Me covered in tea leaves sat manically laughing that I couldn't go .....After a bath I was frogmarched to School. I was 6
My mother was the same. You had to look like you were actually close to death, or have a limb hanging off before she would even consider keeping us off school "
My brother hated school so was always making excuses. One day he was limping going to school, Mum told him to hurry up or he would be late. Turns out he had broken a bone in his foot!! . We always say if our heads fell off Mum would put it in a bag for us and still send us to school |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't remember this but my siblings swear it happened. I got a pencil rubber stuck up my nose and had to go to the hospital to get it removed "
Jow does that even happen lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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More then I care to mention, but I seem to get stupider the Older I get, just recently my friend had a Gas gun, and I decided to to bet it wouldent peirce the skin I declared "I'll shoot you and you can shoot me" he said no "but if I can shoot you, I'll let you shoot me" I stood at the door with my bare leg, he took aim and let one off in my calf. It pierced the skin and lodged its self half way in my leg, stuck in the muscle, after he stood at the door and I shot him in the shin, his metel ball bareing got stuck in his shin. I cycled to the hospital and we met there for xrays, with identical injurys at the same time. The nurses had some questions |
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When I was about 5 I decided to use the bunk bed ladders to get a game off the top of the wardrobe. Needless to say the ladders slipped down I fell and bashed my face putting my teeth through my lip
When I was a teenager I had heard about what happened if you touched your filling with foil so decided to see if it was as bad as everyone said - it was!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"More then I care to mention, but I seem to get stupider the Older I get, just recently my friend had a Gas gun, and I decided to to bet it wouldent peirce the skin I declared "I'll shoot you and you can shoot me" he said no "but if I can shoot you, I'll let you shoot me" I stood at the door with my bare leg, he took aim and let one off in my calf. It pierced the skin and lodged its self half way in my leg, stuck in the muscle, after he stood at the door and I shot him in the shin, his metel ball bareing got stuck in his shin. I cycled to the hospital and we met there for xrays, with identical injurys at the same time. The nurses had some questions "
I laughed too much at this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So many I can't believe I survived...electricity was my thing. I used a table knife to cut a cable that was conected to main source of energy. Thankfully my older brother pulled me on time. My mother told me that when I was one I crawled under the bed and stuck my finger to the socket on the wall, burnt two fingers, they are fine now just few litle scars  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My big sis and i decided we wanted to be blood sisters so we locked ourselves in the bathroom so we could cut ourselves with dads razor. She made me go first but after seeing all my blood decided she nolonger wanted to play. "
Haha, this is really funny, I bacame blood Brothers to a friend I had. When we was young. Don't even know how we knew what blood Brothers was. And I haven't thought about it since bravoo. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"More then I care to mention, but I seem to get stupider the Older I get, just recently my friend had a Gas gun, and I decided to to bet it wouldent peirce the skin I declared "I'll shoot you and you can shoot me" he said no "but if I can shoot you, I'll let you shoot me" I stood at the door with my bare leg, he took aim and let one off in my calf. It pierced the skin and lodged its self half way in my leg, stuck in the muscle, after he stood at the door and I shot him in the shin, his metel ball bareing got stuck in his shin. I cycled to the hospital and we met there for xrays, with identical injurys at the same time. The nurses had some questions
I laughed too much at this "
Yeah it wassent the best idea iv had blame the alcohol. Even more recently I was riding through an old golf course on my friends crosser. I didn't inspect where I was riding or even know it was an old golf course come to that. That is untill I went arse over tit in third gear, about to change to fourth. In to an overgrown golf bunker, was like a huge creator. Looked like a meteorite hit it. I broke my coller bone, got up told the boys I was going home. Got back home, coughed up blood and went to hospitle, collor bone is still healing  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Biking on the pavement alongside the TV repair man’s van (yes, I’m that old)... looking at the van and not where I was going, straight off the end of the path, into the road and over the bonnet of a car"
Were you hurt ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My uncle is 4 years older than me so was more like my brother growing up as I was always over my grans house. Anyway he was petrified of spiders and severely asthmatic so when my friends tarantula shed its skin I thought it would be ‘fun’ to put the skin in his bed under his quilt. If anyone’s ever seen a tarantula skin it looks like the actual spider and even has hair on.
He goes to his room and I assume got into bed then all hell broke loose. Heard a massive crash, went in his room he’s having a massive asthma attack and collapsed on the floor, they had to take him in ambulance the whole lot.
I got into so much trouble for that. He is okay now though. "
Wow thats just mean and funny all at once. |
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Decided to brace myself against the walls on the landing, jump down from the 9ft celling with a broom handle to pole volt my way down the stairs...genius. all was going well but as I was scaling the wall with the broom handle in my mouth I slipped and as the broom handle was about an inch higher than the roof of my mouth it made a mess blood and teeth everywhere and an operation or 2 and all is well. Thank god they were my 1st teeth hah. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Sat in a shopping trolley with my brother (we were ages 8 & 6) and hurtled down the ramp to the Supermarket underground car park.....getting faster and faster, until it clipped the side before it hit the wall at the end, flipped over and chucked us out, skidding across the floor and only just slowing down before the last wall......and the trolley narrowly missing us.
We were bruised but badly shaken. Would have been much worse if we had hit the end wall!!!!!
I'm not sure I've grown up a huge amount since then!
"
Like most guys I know so |
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"Biking on the pavement alongside the TV repair man’s van (yes, I’m that old)... looking at the van and not where I was going, straight off the end of the path, into the road and over the bonnet of a car
Were you hurt ?"
Thankfully the car saw me coming and slammed on the brakes and luckily because I didn’t actually see what was happening I must have been quite floppy.. got away with some very painful grazes |
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"What’s the dumbest thing you ever did as a kid?
My shining moment was when I was about 5? I put armbands on my feet and jumped into a pool thinking I’d walk on water. I almost drowned.
You know this had me in stitches (sorry!) and I am quite tempted to try it out.
I had to pass a fully clothed swimming test when I was four, I think
What for ?"
Swing's Australian - it's like the law over there or something |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I hated School and was adamant I wasn't going, my Mum was adamant I was...I decided to pull the cupboard over onto myself, sat on top was the tea pot full of boiling hot water....Me covered in tea leaves sat manically laughing that I couldn't go .....After a bath I was frogmarched to School. I was 6
My mother was the same. You had to look like you were actually close to death, or have a limb hanging off before she would even consider keeping us off school
My brother hated school so was always making excuses. One day he was limping going to school, Mum told him to hurry up or he would be late. Turns out he had broken a bone in his foot!! . We always say if our heads fell off Mum would put it in a bag for us and still send us to school "
This reminds me of a time when I was at school, my brother left some vodka in the fridge from the night before, and I thought it a great idea to neck a load in the moring before I went for the school bus, I felt like a new man during the ride, sat up top with my pals, unbeknowing to them I was well on my way to been bladderd. Scuttling around the floor looking for my eyebrow piercing, and not been able to put it back in. Safe to say once I got off the bus and arrived at school, the fresh air hit me like pig shit in the face, I wobbled to class threw up, went to see the nurse Nina. She assumed I was ill and immediately sent me home withing 10 minutes of been at school I was going back home. Best sicky I'd ever pulled to be honest |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I also lost all my clothes at a nudest beach during a 600 mile cycle, they was there when the tide was out, but once the tide came in, they disappeared... magic that...
I had to walk 30 mins to my bike and spare clothes bolox naked, with only my traines |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I also lost all my clothes at a nudest beach during a 600 mile cycle, they was there when the tide was out, but once the tide came in, they disappeared... magic that...
I had to walk 30 mins to my bike and spare clothes bolox naked, with only my trainers "
|
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Gosh, I was such a sensible child
Probably my finest moment was not listening when I was told not to stand on the little square landing in my mother's boyfriend's house. No idea why, but it was just plasterboard and I went straight through the floor and was dangling into the under stairs cupboard. I can't remember if they pulled me up & out or pulled me down, but I was dangling for a wee bit. He was renovating the house to sell before moving in with us....
I must have been about 8 or 9. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was 12 and fishing after School and of course I used bread rolled up in a little ball. Well out of nowhere a duck came and went under water and got the bread. I jumped in the water to save the duck , I was just a dumb kid. A nice Man saw me and came and got the hook out of the ducks mouth .I was just balling my eyes out the whole time. It was the worst day of my life. But the Duck lived happily ever after ,I'm happy to say. I still saw him till I was about 16 .   I can tell you he never messed with my bobber again !! And Yes that was indeed a True Story !! |
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I jumped out of a dark corner in the hall when my sister's boyfriend came back into the house shortly after leaving...how was I to know that he'd just had a massive car crash! I got such a beating from her. Opps |
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"What’s the dumbest thing you ever did as a kid?
My shining moment was when I was about 5? I put armbands on my feet and jumped into a pool thinking I’d walk on water. I almost drowned.
You know this had me in stitches (sorry!) and I am quite tempted to try it out.
I had to pass a fully clothed swimming test when I was four, I think
What for ?"
As KC said, I'm Australian. Much greater emphasis on water safety, and you get taught young. To see if I could save myself from drowning, essentially. |
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I went ‘gardening’.
It involved getting pissed, then going home at midnight (ish) via a whole street of back gardens.
Quickest to scale all the fences was the winner.
Then came the back garden swimming pool..... |
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"What’s the dumbest thing you ever did as a kid?
My shining moment was when I was about 5? I put armbands on my feet and jumped into a pool thinking I’d walk on water. I almost drowned.
You know this had me in stitches (sorry!) and I am quite tempted to try it out.
I had to pass a fully clothed swimming test when I was four, I think
What for ?
Swing's Australian - it's like the law over there or something "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was 12 and fishing after School and of course I used bread rolled up in a little ball. Well out of nowhere a duck came and went under water and got the bread. I jumped in the water to save the duck , I was just a dumb kid. A nice Man saw me and came and got the hook out of the ducks mouth .I was just balling my eyes out the whole time. It was the worst day of my life. But the Duck lived happily ever after ,I'm happy to say. I still saw him till I was about 16 . I can tell you he never messed with my bobber again !! And Yes that was indeed a True Story !! "
Oh no how something so harmless can cause so much stress. When I was still smoking the ol. Ganja sticks. I was out in the sun reading, having a smoke. I was by a wooden fence separating myself from a cow feild, I decided to read aloud, in hopes it would mature the steak, maybe make it taste better for future consumers. I don't know I was high. Any how soon I went from one cow to about 20,they came from feilds near and far away to listen to my reading of Carl g jung. 30 mins passed and I decided to pack up and go home, to the cows disappointment.
Any how. I sat up and the plastic carrier bag I was sat on, that I brought the book in flew away, got stuck on a wooden post and the cow munched it in one..... Fuck that can't be good i though swallowed it whole, I was distressed for weeks to come, how Somthing so innocent and joyful, possibly led to the death of that poor cow |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a teen with my best mate who lived on a remote farm. We almost perfected pyrotechnics and controlled demolition.
Different times and horrifyingly stupid looking back! |
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"As a teen with my best mate who lived on a remote farm. We almost perfected pyrotechnics and controlled demolition.
Different times and horrifyingly stupid looking back!"
A friend of ours used to own a copy of a now banned text and had fun cooking things up (in the middle of nowhere). Obviously were different times |
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I did so much dumb stuff. No wonder my parents didn't expect me to manage Uni
Attempted to sneak up on a shopping centre automatic door. Had to move... really... slowly... but I did it, then someone walked through it and I somehow let it shut on my head
Gave me a good squeeze before it reopened. I thought my head was going to explode.
Then another time I accidentally stabbed myself in the gum with a pencil. It got stuck and I had to yank really hard to pull it out. It came out, but the graphite broke off in my gum and left a black mark in my gum today is still there now. I guess it's pretty much a tattoo
Oh, actually, I also jammed a pencil under my thumbnail. I've got a black mark there too
I'm not really a total dumbass! Honest |
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I did so many stupid things, I'm a regular calamity...but perhaps the most stupid was missing the beam when up in the loft and making a 6 x 8 foot hole in my parents bedroom ceiling. Somewhere there is a photo of my legs dangling out of the hole
More recently (like only a few years ago) I was urbexing...leaving a city centre building on a Saturday lunchtime. We had to get over a 10ft wall, so we waited until there was a gap in traffic, but as I dropped over the other side the back of my trousers got caught on a nail...I was just hanging on a wall at the side of a busy road, straight opposite a garage, laughing hysterically...then gravity took over, my trousers ripped, and I fell to the floor in a heap. I had to walk about half a mile back to the car trying to cover my bare arse with my camera bag |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I did so much dumb stuff. No wonder my parents didn't expect me to manage Uni
Attempted to sneak up on a shopping centre automatic door. Had to move... really... slowly... but I did it, then someone walked through it and I somehow let it shut on my head
Gave me a good squeeze before it reopened. I thought my head was going to explode.
Then another time I accidentally stabbed myself in the gum with a pencil. It got stuck and I had to yank really hard to pull it out. It came out, but the graphite broke off in my gum and left a black mark in my gum today is still there now. I guess it's pretty much a tattoo
Oh, actually, I also jammed a pencil under my thumbnail. I've got a black mark there too
I'm not really a total dumbass! Honest "
I have a black mark on the side of my thumb from stabbing a rubber with a pencil and stabbing my thumb instead |
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"I did so much dumb stuff. No wonder my parents didn't expect me to manage Uni
Attempted to sneak up on a shopping centre automatic door. Had to move... really... slowly... but I did it, then someone walked through it and I somehow let it shut on my head
Gave me a good squeeze before it reopened. I thought my head was going to explode.
Then another time I accidentally stabbed myself in the gum with a pencil. It got stuck and I had to yank really hard to pull it out. It came out, but the graphite broke off in my gum and left a black mark in my gum today is still there now. I guess it's pretty much a tattoo
Oh, actually, I also jammed a pencil under my thumbnail. I've got a black mark there too
I'm not really a total dumbass! Honest
I have a black mark on the side of my thumb from stabbing a rubber with a pencil and stabbing my thumb instead "
I still have stones in my knee from falling over at school. The skin just grew over the grit  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I did so much dumb stuff. No wonder my parents didn't expect me to manage Uni
Attempted to sneak up on a shopping centre automatic door. Had to move... really... slowly... but I did it, then someone walked through it and I somehow let it shut on my head
Gave me a good squeeze before it reopened. I thought my head was going to explode.
Then another time I accidentally stabbed myself in the gum with a pencil. It got stuck and I had to yank really hard to pull it out. It came out, but the graphite broke off in my gum and left a black mark in my gum today is still there now. I guess it's pretty much a tattoo
Oh, actually, I also jammed a pencil under my thumbnail. I've got a black mark there too
I'm not really a total dumbass! Honest
I have a black mark on the side of my thumb from stabbing a rubber with a pencil and stabbing my thumb instead
I still have stones in my knee from falling over at school. The skin just grew over the grit "
Yeah falling over, that's gotta be the dumbest excuse Iv ever heard.... |
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"As a teen with my best mate who lived on a remote farm. We almost perfected pyrotechnics and controlled demolition.
Different times and horrifyingly stupid looking back!"
Oh God, I remember doing similar things.
My mates Dad had loads of cool (as a kid) chemicals in his garage and we used to try making fireworks by packing the most flammable ones into toilet rolls and packing the ends tight with tissues.
We'd then take them down the fields to try them out.
Most just burnt with a nasty smoke, but one actually went 'bang' really loudly so we scarpered, a few moments later we looked back and saw smoke coming from where we were. We were a little too scared to go back so just hid.
Shortly after we heard a fire engine coming out.
We stopped after that. It wasn't our brightest moment. |
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"I did so much dumb stuff. No wonder my parents didn't expect me to manage Uni
Attempted to sneak up on a shopping centre automatic door. Had to move... really... slowly... but I did it, then someone walked through it and I somehow let it shut on my head
Gave me a good squeeze before it reopened. I thought my head was going to explode.
Then another time I accidentally stabbed myself in the gum with a pencil. It got stuck and I had to yank really hard to pull it out. It came out, but the graphite broke off in my gum and left a black mark in my gum today is still there now. I guess it's pretty much a tattoo
Oh, actually, I also jammed a pencil under my thumbnail. I've got a black mark there too
I'm not really a total dumbass! Honest
I have a black mark on the side of my thumb from stabbing a rubber with a pencil and stabbing my thumb instead "
I'm not alone in my stupidity! |
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"As a teen with my best mate who lived on a remote farm. We almost perfected pyrotechnics and controlled demolition.
Different times and horrifyingly stupid looking back!
Oh God, I remember doing similar things.
My mates Dad had loads of cool (as a kid) chemicals in his garage and we used to try making fireworks by packing the most flammable ones into toilet rolls and packing the ends tight with tissues.
We'd then take them down the fields to try them out.
Most just burnt with a nasty smoke, but one actually went 'bang' really loudly so we scarpered, a few moments later we looked back and saw smoke coming from where we were. We were a little too scared to go back so just hid.
Shortly after we heard a fire engine coming out.
We stopped after that. It wasn't our brightest moment. "
|
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"I did so many stupid things, I'm a regular calamity...but perhaps the most stupid was missing the beam when up in the loft and making a 6 x 8 foot hole in my parents bedroom ceiling. Somewhere there is a photo of my legs dangling out of the hole
More recently (like only a few years ago) I was urbexing...leaving a city centre building on a Saturday lunchtime. We had to get over a 10ft wall, so we waited until there was a gap in traffic, but as I dropped over the other side the back of my trousers got caught on a nail...I was just hanging on a wall at the side of a busy road, straight opposite a garage, laughing hysterically...then gravity took over, my trousers ripped, and I fell to the floor in a heap. I had to walk about half a mile back to the car trying to cover my bare arse with my camera bag "
I had to look up urbexing. That sounds pretty cool. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was 12 and fishing after School and of course I used bread rolled up in a little ball. Well out of nowhere a duck came and went under water and got the bread. I jumped in the water to save the duck , I was just a dumb kid. A nice Man saw me and came and got the hook out of the ducks mouth .I was just balling my eyes out the whole time. It was the worst day of my life. But the Duck lived happily ever after ,I'm happy to say. I still saw him till I was about 16 . I can tell you he never messed with my bobber again !! And Yes that was indeed a True Story !!
Oh no how something so harmless can cause so much stress. When I was still smoking the ol. Ganja sticks. I was out in the sun reading, having a smoke. I was by a wooden fence separating myself from a cow feild, I decided to read aloud, in hopes it would mature the steak, maybe make it taste better for future consumers. I don't know I was high. Any how soon I went from one cow to about 20,they came from feilds near and far away to listen to my reading of Carl g jung. 30 mins passed and I decided to pack up and go home, to the cows disappointment.
Any how. I sat up and the plastic carrier bag I was sat on, that I brought the book in flew away, got stuck on a wooden post and the cow munched it in one..... Fuck that can't be good i though swallowed it whole, I was distressed for weeks to come, how Somthing so innocent and joyful, possibly led to the death of that poor cow "
Oh my goodness.... I might of never recovered if it had been a cow ...  I'm sure the Cow made it and lived to tell all the other cows about your AMAZING story telling . I'm actually quite positive he did !! You are probably still a Legend !! And I sure hope he didn't end up on a plate with a baked potato and over-cooked asparagus!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was about 8 and we were making a ramp for our bikes out of an old plank, but there was a 6 inch nail through it. In my infinite wisdom I decided that if I stamped hard enough on it then it would bend flat.
Shuffled home with a plank attached to my foot |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Decided to brace myself against the walls on the landing, jump down from the 9ft celling with a broom handle to pole volt my way down the stairs...genius. all was going well but as I was scaling the wall with the broom handle in my mouth I slipped and as the broom handle was about an inch higher than the roof of my mouth it made a mess blood and teeth everywhere and an operation or 2 and all is well. Thank god they were my 1st teeth hah."
Sounds painful |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I hated School and was adamant I wasn't going, my Mum was adamant I was...I decided to pull the cupboard over onto myself, sat on top was the tea pot full of boiling hot water....Me covered in tea leaves sat manically laughing that I couldn't go .....After a bath I was frogmarched to School. I was 6
My mother was the same. You had to look like you were actually close to death, or have a limb hanging off before she would even consider keeping us off school
My brother hated school so was always making excuses. One day he was limping going to school, Mum told him to hurry up or he would be late. Turns out he had broken a bone in his foot!! . We always say if our heads fell off Mum would put it in a bag for us and still send us to school "
This gave me a good giggle |
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I tried to replicate the scene from the film alien where bishop stabs the knife between his fingers really quickly,but i used a freshly sharpend wood chisel in a woodworking class at school. On the first strike i managed to plunge the chisel straight through the side of my finger,it really was a moment |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What’s the dumbest thing you ever did as a kid?
My shining moment was when I was about 5? I put armbands on my feet and jumped into a pool thinking I’d walk on water. I almost drowned."
I let my sisters tie rope around me so they could then spin me around like a mummy on scooby do. It was the height of summer too so I was in shorts.
God that hurt lol |
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I slipped with a chisel in a woodwork class at school and jabbed it into my wrist, about half an inch from the artery. I've still got the scar to this day
A week before going to uni I went to a party at a mate's house. An hour and a quarter later I was escorted back over the threshold by four friends, making sure I sent in the right direction. I'd d*unk a bottle of scotch, neat, straight from the bottle. But apparently I'd have been OK if I'd have stopped there, but I'm told I had 4 cans of lager after that as well
Woke up next morning in a vomit-encrusted bed with the hangover from hell, and mum asking coldly "Who's Emma?"
Ah, bollocks... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"About 18 was kicking out time in town - me & a few mates missed last train so we decided would be a great idea to walk home along the track, Obviously a train would come hurtling along screaming it's horn, We survived....Just. "
Oh you were lucky. |
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"I slipped with a chisel in a woodwork class at school and jabbed it into my wrist, about half an inch from the artery. I've still got the scar to this day
A week before going to uni I went to a party at a mate's house. An hour and a quarter later I was escorted back over the threshold by four friends, making sure I sent in the right direction. I'd d*unk a bottle of scotch, neat, straight from the bottle. But apparently I'd have been OK if I'd have stopped there, but I'm told I had 4 cans of lager after that as well
Woke up next morning in a vomit-encrusted bed with the hangover from hell, and mum asking coldly "Who's Emma?"
Ah, bollocks... "
I had a not dissimilar experience drinking neat vodka from pint glasses! I woke up many hours later to my friends watching a psychedelic music video (like a kaleidoscope), having puked on my mother's living room carpet. The same night, my brother put his fist through his bedroom door so the next day, we had to drive round DIY shops in my little Corsa, trying to find a fucking 70s brown door and the tools to hang it. That was one HELL of a party |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I roller-skated down a hill, it was only when a parked car started looming that I realised I couldn’t stop and panic set in. I aimed for a lamppost, grabbed it, swivelled round it at speed and banged my forehead.
So that's what started it....Perry!
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was 12 and fishing after School and of course I used bread rolled up in a little ball. Well out of nowhere a duck came and went under water and got the bread. I jumped in the water to save the duck , I was just a dumb kid. A nice Man saw me and came and got the hook out of the ducks mouth .I was just balling my eyes out the whole time. It was the worst day of my life. But the Duck lived happily ever after ,I'm happy to say. I still saw him till I was about 16 . I can tell you he never messed with my bobber again !! And Yes that was indeed a True Story !!
Oh no how something so harmless can cause so much stress. When I was still smoking the ol. Ganja sticks. I was out in the sun reading, having a smoke. I was by a wooden fence separating myself from a cow feild, I decided to read aloud, in hopes it would mature the steak, maybe make it taste better for future consumers. I don't know I was high. Any how soon I went from one cow to about 20,they came from feilds near and far away to listen to my reading of Carl g jung. 30 mins passed and I decided to pack up and go home, to the cows disappointment.
Any how. I sat up and the plastic carrier bag I was sat on, that I brought the book in flew away, got stuck on a wooden post and the cow munched it in one..... Fuck that can't be good i though swallowed it whole, I was distressed for weeks to come, how Somthing so innocent and joyful, possibly led to the death of that poor cow
Oh my goodness.... I might of never recovered if it had been a cow ... I'm sure the Cow made it and lived to tell all the other cows about your AMAZING story telling . I'm actually quite positive he did !! You are probably still a Legend !! And I sure hope he didn't end up on a plate with a baked potato and over-cooked asparagus!! "
Iknow right those pesky meat eaters. Maybe the power of Carl jungs psychology, evolutionized there brains. And they finally figured out how to flick the latch on the wooden fence separating them from the outside world. To this day there is a band of vagabond cows, risking life and limb to save over cows from lands far away from the chop shop. Releasing them from there eternal prison |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was 12 and fishing after School and of course I used bread rolled up in a little ball. Well out of nowhere a duck came and went under water and got the bread. I jumped in the water to save the duck , I was just a dumb kid. A nice Man saw me and came and got the hook out of the ducks mouth .I was just balling my eyes out the whole time. It was the worst day of my life. But the Duck lived happily ever after ,I'm happy to say. I still saw him till I was about 16 . I can tell you he never messed with my bobber again !! And Yes that was indeed a True Story !!
Oh no how something so harmless can cause so much stress. When I was still smoking the ol. Ganja sticks. I was out in the sun reading, having a smoke. I was by a wooden fence separating myself from a cow feild, I decided to read aloud, in hopes it would mature the steak, maybe make it taste better for future consumers. I don't know I was high. Any how soon I went from one cow to about 20,they came from feilds near and far away to listen to my reading of Carl g jung. 30 mins passed and I decided to pack up and go home, to the cows disappointment.
Any how. I sat up and the plastic carrier bag I was sat on, that I brought the book in flew away, got stuck on a wooden post and the cow munched it in one..... Fuck that can't be good i though swallowed it whole, I was distressed for weeks to come, how Somthing so innocent and joyful, possibly led to the death of that poor cow
Oh my goodness.... I might of never recovered if it had been a cow ... I'm sure the Cow made it and lived to tell all the other cows about your AMAZING story telling . I'm actually quite positive he did !! You are probably still a Legend !! And I sure hope he didn't end up on a plate with a baked potato and over-cooked asparagus!!
Iknow right those pesky meat eaters. Maybe the power of Carl jungs psychology, evolutionized there brains. And they finally figured out how to flick the latch on the wooden fence separating them from the outside world. To this day there is a band of vagabond cows, risking life and limb to save over cows from lands far away from the chop shop. Releasing them from there eternal prison "
Oh my goodness, I can see now how the cows were drawn in and listened to you for hours in the field. I sure hope they continue with their mission Saving and uniting cows all through the lands!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I was 12 and fishing after School and of course I used bread rolled up in a little ball. Well out of nowhere a duck came and went under water and got the bread. I jumped in the water to save the duck , I was just a dumb kid. A nice Man saw me and came and got the hook out of the ducks mouth .I was just balling my eyes out the whole time. It was the worst day of my life. But the Duck lived happily ever after ,I'm happy to say. I still saw him till I was about 16 . I can tell you he never messed with my bobber again !! And Yes that was indeed a True Story !!
Oh no how something so harmless can cause so much stress. When I was still smoking the ol. Ganja sticks. I was out in the sun reading, having a smoke. I was by a wooden fence separating myself from a cow feild, I decided to read aloud, in hopes it would mature the steak, maybe make it taste better for future consumers. I don't know I was high. Any how soon I went from one cow to about 20,they came from feilds near and far away to listen to my reading of Carl g jung. 30 mins passed and I decided to pack up and go home, to the cows disappointment.
Any how. I sat up and the plastic carrier bag I was sat on, that I brought the book in flew away, got stuck on a wooden post and the cow munched it in one..... Fuck that can't be good i though swallowed it whole, I was distressed for weeks to come, how Somthing so innocent and joyful, possibly led to the death of that poor cow
Oh my goodness.... I might of never recovered if it had been a cow ... I'm sure the Cow made it and lived to tell all the other cows about your AMAZING story telling . I'm actually quite positive he did !! You are probably still a Legend !! And I sure hope he didn't end up on a plate with a baked potato and over-cooked asparagus!!
Iknow right those pesky meat eaters. Maybe the power of Carl jungs psychology, evolutionized there brains. And they finally figured out how to flick the latch on the wooden fence separating them from the outside world. To this day there is a band of vagabond cows, risking life and limb to save over cows from lands far away from the chop shop. Releasing them from there eternal prison
Oh my goodness, I can see now how the cows were drawn in and listened to you for hours in the field. I sure hope they continue with their mission Saving and uniting cows all through the lands!! "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Getting caught nicking a few penthouse porn mags out of a WH Smith's warehouse storage unit I was only 15 so put it down to the innocence of youth"
Were you embarrassed? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Chased my dog who suddenly became possessed and ran into a field of ponies +cows who went crazy... I didn't get that far due to the barbed wire I'd embedded in my leg that i discovered when i looked down and saw the blood |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was 12 and fishing after School and of course I used bread rolled up in a little ball. Well out of nowhere a duck came and went under water and got the bread. I jumped in the water to save the duck , I was just a dumb kid. A nice Man saw me and came and got the hook out of the ducks mouth .I was just balling my eyes out the whole time. It was the worst day of my life. But the Duck lived happily ever after ,I'm happy to say. I still saw him till I was about 16 . I can tell you he never messed with my bobber again !! And Yes that was indeed a True Story !!
Oh no how something so harmless can cause so much stress. When I was still smoking the ol. Ganja sticks. I was out in the sun reading, having a smoke. I was by a wooden fence separating myself from a cow feild, I decided to read aloud, in hopes it would mature the steak, maybe make it taste better for future consumers. I don't know I was high. Any how soon I went from one cow to about 20,they came from feilds near and far away to listen to my reading of Carl g jung. 30 mins passed and I decided to pack up and go home, to the cows disappointment.
Any how. I sat up and the plastic carrier bag I was sat on, that I brought the book in flew away, got stuck on a wooden post and the cow munched it in one..... Fuck that can't be good i though swallowed it whole, I was distressed for weeks to come, how Somthing so innocent and joyful, possibly led to the death of that poor cow
Oh my goodness.... I might of never recovered if it had been a cow ... I'm sure the Cow made it and lived to tell all the other cows about your AMAZING story telling . I'm actually quite positive he did !! You are probably still a Legend !! And I sure hope he didn't end up on a plate with a baked potato and over-cooked asparagus!!
Iknow right those pesky meat eaters. Maybe the power of Carl jungs psychology, evolutionized there brains. And they finally figured out how to flick the latch on the wooden fence separating them from the outside world. To this day there is a band of vagabond cows, risking life and limb to save over cows from lands far away from the chop shop. Releasing them from there eternal prison
Oh my goodness, I can see now how the cows were drawn in and listened to you for hours in the field. I sure hope they continue with their mission Saving and uniting cows all through the lands!! "
Yeahh, iv a sliver tounge |
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By *lex46TV/TS
over a year ago
Near Wells |
While camping in Cornwall aged about 7 or 8. Running around the campsite with nothing but swimming trunks on.
Saw a small wall, ran towards it jumped up onto it then of the other side without looking or stopping,landed in a huge bush of stinging nettles. I soon learnt about look before you leap after that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was 12 and fishing after School and of course I used bread rolled up in a little ball. Well out of nowhere a duck came and went under water and got the bread. I jumped in the water to save the duck , I was just a dumb kid. A nice Man saw me and came and got the hook out of the ducks mouth .I was just balling my eyes out the whole time. It was the worst day of my life. But the Duck lived happily ever after ,I'm happy to say. I still saw him till I was about 16 . I can tell you he never messed with my bobber again !! And Yes that was indeed a True Story !!
Oh no how something so harmless can cause so much stress. When I was still smoking the ol. Ganja sticks. I was out in the sun reading, having a smoke. I was by a wooden fence separating myself from a cow feild, I decided to read aloud, in hopes it would mature the steak, maybe make it taste better for future consumers. I don't know I was high. Any how soon I went from one cow to about 20,they came from feilds near and far away to listen to my reading of Carl g jung. 30 mins passed and I decided to pack up and go home, to the cows disappointment.
Any how. I sat up and the plastic carrier bag I was sat on, that I brought the book in flew away, got stuck on a wooden post and the cow munched it in one..... Fuck that can't be good i though swallowed it whole, I was distressed for weeks to come, how Somthing so innocent and joyful, possibly led to the death of that poor cow
Oh my goodness.... I might of never recovered if it had been a cow ... I'm sure the Cow made it and lived to tell all the other cows about your AMAZING story telling . I'm actually quite positive he did !! You are probably still a Legend !! And I sure hope he didn't end up on a plate with a baked potato and over-cooked asparagus!!
Iknow right those pesky meat eaters. Maybe the power of Carl jungs psychology, evolutionized there brains. And they finally figured out how to flick the latch on the wooden fence separating them from the outside world. To this day there is a band of vagabond cows, risking life and limb to save over cows from lands far away from the chop shop. Releasing them from there eternal prison
Oh my goodness, I can see now how the cows were drawn in and listened to you for hours in the field. I sure hope they continue with their mission Saving and uniting cows all through the lands!!
Yeahh, iv a sliver tounge "
I Believe it !!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Getting caught nicking a few penthouse porn mags out of a WH Smith's warehouse storage unit I was only 15 so put it down to the innocence of youth
Were you embarrassed?"
No lol was more concerned about reported for bunking off school tbh they let me go so got away with it lol |
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"While camping in Cornwall aged about 7 or 8. Running around the campsite with nothing but swimming trunks on.
Saw a small wall, ran towards it jumped up onto it then of the other side without looking or stopping,landed in a huge bush of stinging nettles. I soon learnt about look before you leap after that. "
Ouch! Body covered on stings!
I know that feeling as I've done it too
For me, I was about 6, and on a long car journey in the summer so wearing just shorts.
Needed a wee, so my Dad pulled over and let me go at the edge of the road into a the nettles. As I bent to pull up my pants I lost my balance and fell face first into the nettles.
Stung 'everywhere'
This thread really isn't making me look good |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Decided to cut a chunk out of my fringe in class when I was about 5/6 the week before the annual school photos. It was bad enough that my mum used to cut my hair (pudding bowl haircuts lads? ) but having a big chunk out of my fringe and missing one of my front teeth wasn't the greatest look. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"While camping in Cornwall aged about 7 or 8. Running around the campsite with nothing but swimming trunks on.
Saw a small wall, ran towards it jumped up onto it then of the other side without looking or stopping,landed in a huge bush of stinging nettles. I soon learnt about look before you leap after that. "
Oh I can only imagine how that felt |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Getting caught nicking a few penthouse porn mags out of a WH Smith's warehouse storage unit I was only 15 so put it down to the innocence of youth
Were you embarrassed?
No lol was more concerned about reported for bunking off school tbh they let me go so got away with it lol"
You were lucky. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
when I was 10 I made a gun out some wood, jubilee clips and a tent pole.
A 1cm steel ball bearing fitted perfectly down the tent pole so I put a lit banger down it followed by the ball bearing.
The result was lethal but impressive.
I never knew where the ball bearing ended up but it took a chunk out of our reinforced concrete garage! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had a gas powered bb gun when I was a young teenager and one day I ran out of the special gas you get for them so I thought maybe lighter gas would work..It didn't really. Thing is you could expel all the remaining gas at once by pressing in the hammer and I used to get a lighter and make a small fire ball sometimes when I did it. Of course like an idiot I did the same thing with the lighter gas and clearly underestimated how much more flammable it would be..basically the whole gun just blew up and I ignited half my body in flames xD my friends just cracked up as I was flailing about on fire. Fun times |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What’s the dumbest thing you ever did as a kid?
My shining moment was when I was about 5? I put armbands on my feet and jumped into a pool thinking I’d walk on water. I almost drowned."
I did the same sort of. Was on Holiday when i was about 4, got out of the pool and said to my mum i was done swimming so she took my armbands off. While she was dealing with my 1 year old brother i bolted back into the pool and just sank to the bottom. Mum realised what had happened and in the process of jumping up knocked my brother over and he hit his head on the floor. We ended up in Hospital twice on that florida trip as the second time i poked my dad in the eye. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"when I was 10 I made a gun out some wood, jubilee clips and a tent pole.
A 1cm steel ball bearing fitted perfectly down the tent pole so I put a lit banger down it followed by the ball bearing.
The result was lethal but impressive.
I never knew where the ball bearing ended up but it took a chunk out of our reinforced concrete garage! "
You were lucky it didn't backfire on you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My mum asked me to retrieve something that had fallen behind the sideboard. She gave me a knitting needle to try to push it upwards for her to grab a hold of. I rammed it straight into the two way socket plugged in the wall! Threw me right across the room and the flames shot up the wall. I still had the knitting needle in my hand all black and charred.... Me and electricals do not get on to this day.... I cannot even type properly I am laughing so much. Glad you are ok though x
"
OMG....that is brilliant lol
The visual image I have lol  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My mum asked me to retrieve something that had fallen behind the sideboard. She gave me a knitting needle to try to push it upwards for her to grab a hold of. I rammed it straight into the two way socket plugged in the wall! Threw me right across the room and the flames shot up the wall. I still had the knitting needle in my hand all black and charred.... Me and electricals do not get on to this day.... I cannot even type properly I am laughing so much. Glad you are ok though x
OMG....that is brilliant lol
The visual image I have lol "
How did I miss this |
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