FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Interested to know if people are open about swinging with their relatives/friends/work and how they
Interested to know if people are open about swinging with their relatives/friends/work and how they
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So I've been flitting about here on and off for a while only had a few experiences. I'm terrified someone from work will find out? Not sure why, we are all adults making adult decisions, why is it seen as so seedy? X |
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We pondered this before we came on here and when we sat down and thought about it we realised we really didn't care.
That said we don't broadcast we're on here so that in itself probably says something |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We personally don't tell anyone. Too be honest, unless your in the lifestyle, its hard for people to understand. If someone did find out, you'd just have to own it, you do whatever makes you happy.. Don't need to explain yourself to anyone  |
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I work with several gay men, who are very open about websites they are on including the other website that has fab in the title and just about guys. They also are very open about meeting for casual encounters outside.
However I’ve yet to meet anyone at work regarded as straight who would admit to outdoor meets (dogging) or being into casual sexual encounters.
It’s the one area that the gay community have a more acceptable alternative sex life that’s seen as good fun and ok to talk about openly. Especially with colleagues at work.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yes exactly! I feel men in general it is more acceptable and like you said gay men are much more open and accepting and its seen as just a pretty normal thing to do. I feel if people were to know I was on here I'd be seriously judged x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No-one knows about our Fabbing etc apart from others we've met from the scene. It's our private activity, as is the rest of our bedroom activity. "
Do you worry you will bump into people you know? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not open with anybody about my sex life because it's none of their business. I don't really know anything about my colleagues sex life or friends for that matter really. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's certainly something I like to keep private. I'm a private person but enjoy having a dark side no one knows about."
Do your friends not know about it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I've been flitting about here on and off for a while only had a few experiences. I'm terrified someone from work will find out? Not sure why, we are all adults making adult decisions, why is it seen as so seedy? X"
It goes back a long way, when swinging was seen as very taboo. The reality is, the dynamics of relationships and what’s now deemed as “acceptable” by many, is much more in step with the desire of the body/ego, rather than what’s dictated by societal conventions built on a religious edict.
I wouldn’t be concerned about someone from work finding out - unless it’s someone you have a Reason to mistrust of you fear would cross you. Most people like to keep their swinging desires discreet, since it’s based on a set of principles and values - a belief system - that few people really understand?
Good luck though
Wx
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm not open with anybody about my sex life because it's none of their business. I don't really know anything about my colleagues sex life or friends for that matter really. "
Do you worry about if people find out? What their opinion would be? |
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I keep it very private.
My uncle is on and off here, so he does know.
I have also recently told my best mate, who was a little shocked, had a couple of questions but lost interest pretty quickly.
But I've been in clubs where I've met people who are actually there with work mates.
which is strange to me, but good for them I guess!
Horses for courses. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's certainly something I like to keep private. I'm a private person but enjoy having a dark side no one knows about."
This is exactly why the “seedy” perspective is continually perpetuated - holding a view that swinging is somehow “dark” is what makes people take a dim view of it. What people should do is absolutely normalise it, just have they have done with sexuality itself.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So I've been flitting about here on and off for a while only had a few experiences. I'm terrified someone from work will find out? Not sure why, we are all adults making adult decisions, why is it seen as so seedy? X
It goes back a long way, when swinging was seen as very taboo. The reality is, the dynamics of relationships and what’s now deemed as “acceptable” by many, is much more in step with the desire of the body/ego, rather than what’s dictated by societal conventions built on a religious edict.
I wouldn’t be concerned about someone from work finding out - unless it’s someone you have a Reason to mistrust of you fear would cross you. Most people like to keep their swinging desires discreet, since it’s based on a set of principles and values - a belief system - that few people really understand?
Good luck though
Wx
"
Thank you.. I probably shouldn't care, as why should I? X |
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"No-one knows about our Fabbing etc apart from others we've met from the scene. It's our private activity, as is the rest of our bedroom activity.
Do you worry you will bump into people you know? "
We had that concern the first time we went to a club, but then thought rationally and decided it didn't matter. I'm sure some of our colleagues would be accepting whilst others not, same as anything really. Some colleagues know I've got a naughty side, but not how much. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I keep it very private.
My uncle is on and off here, so he does know.
I have also recently told my best mate, who was a little shocked, had a couple of questions but lost interest pretty quickly.
But I've been in clubs where I've met people who are actually there with work mates.
which is strange to me, but good for them I guess!
Horses for courses."
Glad to hear the men are keeping it quite private. I feel if I was a man I wouldn't care as much. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No-one knows about our Fabbing etc apart from others we've met from the scene. It's our private activity, as is the rest of our bedroom activity.
Do you worry you will bump into people you know?
That's true if they are there too what can be said really x
We had that concern the first time we went to a club, but then thought rationally and decided it didn't matter. I'm sure some of our colleagues would be accepting whilst others not, same as anything really. Some colleagues know I've got a naughty side, but not how much."
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My older kids, my brother & my best mate all know. From a safety aspect they all know where I am, if, on the rare occasion I meet someone outside of the club. "
Are they accepting of it? One of my friends know for the safety aspect like you said x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A few of my friends and family know I'm on here. I'm pretty open about my lifestyle even if they don't know about Fab. I'm not doing anything wrong and if people don't like it, well it's tough really. They'll have fun holding their breath waiting for me to care. |
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"My older kids, my brother & my best mate all know. From a safety aspect they all know where I am, if, on the rare occasion I meet someone outside of the club.
Are they accepting of it? One of my friends know for the safety aspect like you said x"
Yes, one of my older daughters babysits my young ones when I go to the club. They also tell me if what I'm wearing is ok etc. They know it's not all about shagging & that the social side is what I enjoy x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A few of my friends and family know I'm on here. I'm pretty open about my lifestyle even if they don't know about Fab. I'm not doing anything wrong and if people don't like it, well it's tough really. They'll have fun holding their breath waiting for me to care. "
I love this response this is the stage I want to get too xx
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My older kids, my brother & my best mate all know. From a safety aspect they all know where I am, if, on the rare occasion I meet someone outside of the club.
Are they accepting of it? One of my friends know for the safety aspect like you said x
It's great you can be so open with them sounds like you have a good relationship and you've always got someone looking out for you x
Yes, one of my older daughters babysits my young ones when I go to the club. They also tell me if what I'm wearing is ok etc. They know it's not all about shagging & that the social side is what I enjoy x"
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"My older kids, my brother & my best mate all know. From a safety aspect they all know where I am, if, on the rare occasion I meet someone outside of the club.
Are they accepting of it? One of my friends know for the safety aspect like you said x
It's great you can be so open with them sounds like you have a good relationship and you've always got someone looking out for you x
Yes, one of my older daughters babysits my young ones when I go to the club. They also tell me if what I'm wearing is ok etc. They know it's not all about shagging & that the social side is what I enjoy x"
I think so too, if I can't show them that I won't keep secrets from them I couldn't expect them to be open with me about things. It's hard parenting girls at times, if they at least learn about the importance of being safe then I've done something right x |
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I don’t mention it in real life, however, an ex work colleague recognised me on here and decided to tell my ex colleagues about it and I received lots of calls from said ex colleagues about it, I tried blocking him on here and he would just delete his profile and come back again with a new one.
In an industry where everyone knows everyone else it wasn’t great |
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A couple of people I’m close to at work know. My line of work tends to be quite liberal
And then otherwise it’s not like I go around blurting out details of my sex life as such, but I wouldn’t hide the fact that I’m non monogamous. All of my friends are at least accepting if not similar minded. These days I wouldn’t look to develop a friendship with anyone who is bothered by it |
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"I don’t mention it in real life, however, an ex work colleague recognised me on here and decided to tell my ex colleagues about it and I received lots of calls from said ex colleagues about it, I tried blocking him on here and he would just delete his profile and come back again with a new one.
In an industry where everyone knows everyone else it wasn’t great"
Oh damn, he sounds like an asshole... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don’t mention it in real life, however, an ex work colleague recognised me on here and decided to tell my ex colleagues about it and I received lots of calls from said ex colleagues about it, I tried blocking him on here and he would just delete his profile and come back again with a new one.
In an industry where everyone knows everyone else it wasn’t great"
This is pathetic! It's the sort of thing I worry about such childishness, you are still on here though so at least you stood proud and didnt let it bother you too much x
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A couple of people I’m close to at work know. My line of work tends to be quite liberal
And then otherwise it’s not like I go around blurting out details of my sex life as such, but I wouldn’t hide the fact that I’m non monogamous. All of my friends are at least accepting if not similar minded. These days I wouldn’t look to develop a friendship with anyone who is bothered by it "
Good point!! I'm feeling better after reading these messages x |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
Given most of what we do BDSM wise is illegal we are not that open about specifics.
However, most of our friends are aware we follow an alternative lifestyle.
If we were only into swinging then again I doubt we would be that open, to avoid friends thinking that just because we swing its open season in our bedroom! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My kids, family & best friends all know but we don't sit around and talk about our sex lives? That would be weird! I just have an alternative sex life, no need for details that's all private. I'm a single adult and have never felt judged in any way for it.
Sometimes are we judging other people's ideals before they even know something? Is that fair to them? Just wondered ... |
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By *igmaMan
over a year ago
Yorkshire |
I don’t share my private life with work colleges. It’s my business... I like to keep it private! Probably the only reason why I don’t have full face pictures public on this site. I do on FL. Fab is more like the Wild West. You just don’t know who’s on here. I have been in instances at work where fab as been openly discussed by morons in a very pathetic looker room way. I just ignore and carry on. Sometimes I do a location search at work and block every guy in quarter of a mile from me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don’t share my private life with work colleges. It’s my business... I like to keep it private! Probably the only reason why I don’t have full face pictures public on this site. I do on FL. Fab is more like the Wild West. You just don’t know who’s on here. I have been in instances at work where fab as been openly discussed by morons in a very pathetic looker room way. I just ignore and carry on. Sometimes I do a location search at work and block every guy in quarter of a mile from me. "
Ha that's a good idea to block everyone near by although don't think I'd ever get chance to meet anyone if I did that x
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