FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > It’s really hard to get a reply isn’t it?
It’s really hard to get a reply isn’t it?
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By *alefun OP Man
over a year ago
sale |
Been on here a while without much luck of starting conversations etc... I understand the women are probably getting non stop messages so you need to stand out but it’s hard over one message.. maybe I’m doing something wrong? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s hit and miss, but then so is real life. It’s just worse via DMs, etc. as there are no visual cues/ expressions or obvious emotions to work off.
If you can make your opening message more substantial than ‘Fancy a fuck?’, putting a bit of genuine personality and humour (and a hint of cheekiness) into it, then you’ll go further than many.
Some people will respond, many won’t. The ones who respond positively are the ones who ‘get you’. |
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It's really not easy, we struggle too.
You've joined this site at a very difficult time too. Enjoying the swinging scene is so much easier when the clubs are open and the social events are happening.
As for messages, just keep persevering, making sure you read people's profiles before messaging and try to tailor the message to them, rather than just a standard message.
Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks, ye I don’t go in with messages like that and don’t send dick pics....suppose having patience is important in here "
Yep, and to never take it personally. I don’t read every letter or email I’m sent elsewhere; it’s not reasonable to assume others would do any different here.
And the point about tailoring messages to a profile....  Take the time to understand who you’re writing to |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Remember OP it doesn't *just* have to be about sending blind messages to profiles you like the look of and hoping for a reply - in four years here I've sent precisely six of those and am perfectly happy with my experience.
There are many ways to interact with the site and it's users - the forums and chat rooms are a great way to spark conversation and interest for example. When all this craziness is over, group socials and clubs are another way.
The real key to Fab however comes down to five key things:
Profile
Pictures
Attitude
Approach
Expectations
You have to find the ones that work for you but get them right and your experience and perception of the site will be improved (even though they guarantee nothing) - get them wrong and you'll find it frustrating
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been on here a while without much luck of starting conversations etc... I understand the women are probably getting non stop messages so you need to stand out but it’s hard over one message.. maybe I’m doing something wrong?"
Unless your discrete like me then how about upping your game and showing a face pic and when you message a woman, put more than ‘ how are you’? .. just because you don’t send a dick pick straight away doesn’t mean your a player. Make an effort. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s hit and miss, but then so is real life. It’s just worse via DMs, etc. as there are no visual cues/ expressions or obvious emotions to work off.
If you can make your opening message more substantial than ‘Fancy a fuck?’, putting a bit of genuine personality and humour (and a hint of cheekiness) into it, then you’ll go further than many.
Some people will respond, many won’t. The ones who respond positively are the ones who ‘get you’."
Spot on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In my opinion (and I’m no expert) you may have more luck on the forums than DM’s. most of my conversations of late have been a result of the forum where people see your text and want to know more. With DM’s I often think they are bulk deleted by women and or couples as the amount received are just to many to cope with. |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"Remember OP it doesn't *just* have to be about sending blind messages to profiles you like the look of and hoping for a reply - in four years here I've sent precisely six of those and am perfectly happy with my experience.
There are many ways to interact with the site and it's users - the forums and chat rooms are a great way to spark conversation and interest for example. When all this craziness is over, group socials and clubs are another way.
The real key to Fab however comes down to five key things:
Profile
Pictures
Attitude
Approach
Expectations
You have to find the ones that work for you but get them right and your experience and perception of the site will be improved (even though they guarantee nothing) - get them wrong and you'll find it frustrating
"
What he said  |
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My advice for a single man on Fab:
Dick is abundant and of low value. There are tens of thousands of you on here.
Do you have the mental energy to put into fighting those odds? I certainly don't. The effort-to-reward ratio doesn't pay off.
Stop thinking of Fab as a dating site. You won't meet people here.
Think of Fab is a *social network* for people who already know each other in meatspace.
Wait out the pandemic. Responsible people currently aren't meeting.
Go to clubs when it's safe again. Simply showing up puts you in the top 5% of male users.
Have no expectations. Then lower them further. Go to that club expecting to spend the night alone in a crowd. Be mentally prepared to trudge home alone. If you have expectations going in, *any expectations at all*, the disappointment will crush you.
While you're at the club: Talk to people in person. You can show yourself in a way a written profile and a tiny thumbnail image never can. Be respectful. Be humble. Dick is abundant and of low value here too.
Forget you're in a sex club. Imagine you're somewhere completely non-sexual. Behave accordingly. Make friends. Get to know people.
You'll get nowhere. Take a deep breath, let it out slowly, and go back again next week. And the week after. And the week after that.
Show that you're serious about this swinging thing. Show that you're not another clueless male chancer trying to get his dick wet. Show that you're a respectful person who's safe and fun to be around.
Eventually, you will cross paths with someone who would like to sample what you specifically have to offer.
If it works out, great!
If it doesn't work out: DO NOT BE A TWAT ABOUT IT.
Take another deep breath. Remember that dick is abundant and of low value. Start again. |
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By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago
'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks |
"Remember OP it doesn't *just* have to be about sending blind messages to profiles you like the look of and hoping for a reply - in four years here I've sent precisely six of those and am perfectly happy with my experience.
There are many ways to interact with the site and it's users - the forums and chat rooms are a great way to spark conversation and interest for example. When all this craziness is over, group socials and clubs are another way.
The real key to Fab however comes down to five key things:
Profile
Pictures
Attitude
Approach
Expectations
You have to find the ones that work for you but get them right and your experience and perception of the site will be improved (even though they guarantee nothing) - get them wrong and you'll find it frustrating
"
This is the most solid advice ive seen on a thread like this...it should be a fab sticky! Gemini Man for PM  |
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Before I reply, I read the sender's profile to check for any initial compatibility. Is their profile more comprehensive than 'here I am, looking for fun, up for anything, send me a mail and let's chat type'.
Posting in the forum's will get you noticed by far more people than you have so far. Your profile views will have gone up I imagine |
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Put this on another thread and applies here
I suppose it is the expectation of the first message... if it’s to just say how beautiful they look, say it if you mean it and don’t worry if they reply or not. If it’s to try and start a long term dialogue then put you personality in a message (hard sometimes) and have a profile that intrigues. If they like your first message o am sure the next thing they do is look at your profile... if they like that too I am sure they’ll reply. This place is like a virtual nightclub from the 80/90’s... some ignore you, some are friendly and not interested, some want something to develop long term and some want a knee trembler while waiting for a taxi |
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"My advice for a single man on Fab:
Dick is abundant and of low value. There are tens of thousands of you on here.
Do you have the mental energy to put into fighting those odds? I certainly don't. The effort-to-reward ratio doesn't pay off.
Stop thinking of Fab as a dating site. You won't meet people here.
Think of Fab is a *social network* for people who already know each other in meatspace.
Wait out the pandemic. Responsible people currently aren't meeting.
Go to clubs when it's safe again. Simply showing up puts you in the top 5% of male users.
Have no expectations. Then lower them further. Go to that club expecting to spend the night alone in a crowd. Be mentally prepared to trudge home alone. If you have expectations going in, *any expectations at all*, the disappointment will crush you.
While you're at the club: Talk to people in person. You can show yourself in a way a written profile and a tiny thumbnail image never can. Be respectful. Be humble. Dick is abundant and of low value here too.
Forget you're in a sex club. Imagine you're somewhere completely non-sexual. Behave accordingly. Make friends. Get to know people.
You'll get nowhere. Take a deep breath, let it out slowly, and go back again next week. And the week after. And the week after that.
Show that you're serious about this swinging thing. Show that you're not another clueless male chancer trying to get his dick wet. Show that you're a respectful person who's safe and fun to be around.
Eventually, you will cross paths with someone who would like to sample what you specifically have to offer.
If it works out, great!
If it doesn't work out: DO NOT BE A TWAT ABOUT IT.
Take another deep breath. Remember that dick is abundant and of low value. Start again. "
Brilliant and I absolutely agree  |
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By *igmaMan
over a year ago
Yorkshire |
I very rarely go with much more than “fantastic looking arse you have! ” or words to that effect.
If someone wants to talk you... they’ll talk to you. If they don’t... they won’t.
Say whatever you want to say!
I don’t see the point in overthinking anything with regards to this place.
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Pandemic aside.
What worked for me when meeting was taking time to find someone who was looking for something I could assist with.
I would then carefully craft a message and make sure I had my photos on point.
More often than not it worked.
Also deleting the sent message so as not to fixate over whether it’s been read works wonders for your motivation. |
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By *alefun OP Man
over a year ago
sale |
"Before I reply, I read the sender's profile to check for any initial compatibility. Is their profile more comprehensive than 'here I am, looking for fun, up for anything, send me a mail and let's chat type'.
Posting in the forum's will get you noticed by far more people than you have so far. Your profile views will have gone up I imagine "
That’s absolutely true |
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"Been on here a while without much luck of starting conversations etc... I understand the women are probably getting non stop messages so you need to stand out but it’s hard over one message.. maybe I’m doing something wrong?"
Offer cake |
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