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Lockdown Sadness
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I heard the sadest thing ever yesterday.
My dad called me and asked if he could move in with me so he isnt alone at Christmas. Covid is being a shit.
All good though explained bubbles again and he is fine. |
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"Ow, that is sad.
Pity that he will be all alone. 
He wont i visit all the time and he will be with me at xmas."
Sometimes I wish my parents are still around - but not during these terrible period though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So sorry to hear your story. There are so many others in similar situation.
I don’t have any parents or family so that’s one thing I don’t have to worry about.
Wish I had a family.
Prayers and best wishes to everyone out there.
Stay safe guys |
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"I heard the sadest thing ever yesterday.
My dad called me and asked if he could move in with me so he isnt alone at Christmas. Covid is being a shit.
All good though explained bubbles again and he is fine."
 |
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"Why can he not move in with you op?????
T"
Because he is a pain in the arse and independant to be honest. If he moved in we would fall out. Its easier for me to visit everyday. Plus im working from home. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m glad your dad isn’t going to be alone at Christmas.
Funnily enough, I absolutely love spending Christmas alone.
It’s lovely and relaxing being able to do what I want on the day.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why can he not move in with you op?????
T
Because he is a pain in the arse and independant to be honest. If he moved in we would fall out. Its easier for me to visit everyday. Plus im working from home."
And that op is the saddest thing I’ve read in a long time.
I’d give my right or indeed left bollock to spend just an hour with my parents but each to their own I suppose.
T |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why can he not move in with you op?????
T
Because he is a pain in the arse and independant to be honest. If he moved in we would fall out. Its easier for me to visit everyday. Plus im working from home."
 |
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Lost both my parents almost ten years ago. Dad was a pain in the arse we argued constantly. But what I would give to sit there bickering with him now. All I have now are his ashes on a window cill with a view..... Make the time I wish I had |
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By *ost SockMan
over a year ago
West Wales and Cardiff |
I’m very lucky in that lockdown is ok for me. Understand how that’s very different for others.
However, I work in a field that involves helping people with Covid. Some of the stories are so sad, and it’s hard to keep it together. |
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"Why can he not move in with you op?????
T
Because he is a pain in the arse and independant to be honest. If he moved in we would fall out. Its easier for me to visit everyday. Plus im working from home."
Possible not as independent as you think OP , he's reaching out to you.
He may be a pain in the arse but he's your dad . |
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"Why can he not move in with you op?????
T
Because he is a pain in the arse and independant to be honest. If he moved in we would fall out. Its easier for me to visit everyday. Plus im working from home."
It’s nice you visit him everyday.
My parents are in France. Really missing them now, couldn’t have them living with me either but desperately miss seeing them.
J |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why can he not move in with you op?????
T
Because he is a pain in the arse and independant to be honest. If he moved in we would fall out. Its easier for me to visit everyday. Plus im working from home.
And that op is the saddest thing I’ve read in a long time.
I’d give my right or indeed left bollock to spend just an hour with my parents but each to their own I suppose.
T"
My thoughts exactly ,I lost my Dad 6 years ago I would give anything to have him here with me,I'm sure I was a pain when growing up ,but unconditional love,means just that x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My Dad was the biggest pain in the arse in the whole world! I wish I could be with that "pain in the arse" for just one more minute, to be able to kiss his cheek and to tell him how much I miss his grump chops and that I love him so very much.....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Parental relationships can be complicated. There is no way I could live with mine again, it would cause more damage than good. I am the one daughter of 4 that makes an effort with my mum and it quite often comes at the price of my calm and emotional equilibrium.
So I actually think it's a bit harsh remarking on someone's personal choices supporting family in the best way they can. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Parental relationships can be complicated. There is no way I could live with mine again, it would cause more damage than good. I am the one daughter of 4 that makes an effort with my mum and it quite often comes at the price of my calm and emotional equilibrium.
So I actually think it's a bit harsh remarking on someone's personal choices supporting family in the best way they can. "
Totally agree.
You can still love someone and think they’re a pain in the arse 
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"Parental relationships can be complicated. There is no way I could live with mine again, it would cause more damage than good. I am the one daughter of 4 that makes an effort with my mum and it quite often comes at the price of my calm and emotional equilibrium.
So I actually think it's a bit harsh remarking on someone's personal choices supporting family in the best way they can. "
Totally agree - I love my parents and vice versa but we know living together or even extended times together can get fraught, we are very different people, we each have our own ways.
The OP is doing what is right for them, he sees his dad every day and will continue to do so, don’t understand why he is getting a bashing |
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"Why can he not move in with you op?????
T
Because he is a pain in the arse and independant to be honest. If he moved in we would fall out. Its easier for me to visit everyday. Plus im working from home."
I hear ya'. I'm really lucky in that both my parents are still alive. Could I live with them? Only under the most extreme circumstances and none of us would be happy.
I do a lot for them willingly and happily, we have a great relationship but we could not live together.
keep up the good work op and I hope you and your dad have a good Christmas |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Parental relationships can be complicated. There is no way I could live with mine again, it would cause more damage than good. I am the one daughter of 4 that makes an effort with my mum and it quite often comes at the price of my calm and emotional equilibrium.
So I actually think it's a bit harsh remarking on someone's personal choices supporting family in the best way they can. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m very lucky in that lockdown is ok for me. Understand how that’s very different for others.
However, I work in a field that involves helping people with Covid. Some of the stories are so sad, and it’s hard to keep it together."
xx |
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"Parental relationships can be complicated. There is no way I could live with mine again, it would cause more damage than good. I am the one daughter of 4 that makes an effort with my mum and it quite often comes at the price of my calm and emotional equilibrium.
So I actually think it's a bit harsh remarking on someone's personal choices supporting family in the best way they can.
Totally agree - I love my parents and vice versa but we know living together or even extended times together can get fraught, we are very different people, we each have our own ways.
The OP is doing what is right for them, he sees his dad every day and will continue to do so, don’t understand why he is getting a bashing"
Neither do I. Its very unfair. |
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We go to my parents on Christmas eve. We used to go on Christmas day but my mum started asking us to leave by a certain time because we were interfering with her watching the telly  .
If anybody asks her if we're going round she'll look all sad and say on a martyred tone "no, they all lead such busy lives" |
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"Why can he not move in with you op?????
T
Because he is a pain in the arse and independant to be honest. If he moved in we would fall out. Its easier for me to visit everyday. Plus im working from home.
I hear ya'. I'm really lucky in that both my parents are still alive. Could I live with them? Only under the most extreme circumstances and none of us would be happy.
I do a lot for them willingly and happily, we have a great relationship but we could not live together.
keep up the good work op and I hope you and your dad have a good Christmas "
This applies to me too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We go to my parents on Christmas eve. We used to go on Christmas day but my mum started asking us to leave by a certain time because we were interfering with her watching the telly .
If anybody asks her if we're going round she'll look all sad and say on a martyred tone "no, they all lead such busy lives" "
Then people probably think you're awful for leaving early or not going on certain days. Can't win.  |
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"Why can he not move in with you op?????
T
Because he is a pain in the arse and independant to be honest. If he moved in we would fall out. Its easier for me to visit everyday. Plus im working from home.
I hear ya'. I'm really lucky in that both my parents are still alive. Could I live with them? Only under the most extreme circumstances and none of us would be happy.
I do a lot for them willingly and happily, we have a great relationship but we could not live together.
keep up the good work op and I hope you and your dad have a good Christmas
This applies to me too "
None of us would see our parents lonely or suffering |
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"We go to my parents on Christmas eve. We used to go on Christmas day but my mum started asking us to leave by a certain time because we were interfering with her watching the telly .
If anybody asks her if we're going round she'll look all sad and say on a martyred tone "no, they all lead such busy lives"
Then people probably think you're awful for leaving early or not going on certain days. Can't win. "
Stopped trying years ago . My mother is a master of manipulation. I expect there are a lot of people who think I'm an evil daughter |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That's nice OP
I'd give anything to have my parents back
But I can't imagine them moving in with me 
Reassuring your dad that he wouldn't be alone was the best thing you could do x |
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"I heard the sadest thing ever yesterday.
My dad called me and asked if he could move in with me so he isnt alone at Christmas. Covid is being a shit.
All good though explained bubbles again and he is fine."
Oh I want to hug him x |
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Love how the keyboard warriors are out in force without asking me but judging me none the less.
A pain in the arse he may be. Do I love him any the less no. Anyone asked me how often I see him. Nope but everyday. I complete a 40 mile round trip to spend at least 3 hours a day with him. Let alone weekends.
He is a pain in the arse as we would just clash all the time.
Is he happy now he understand this lock down more yes. Does he realise he will still see me yes. Does he spend xmas with me yes.
So for all those that judged there you go yet again the forum breeds the contempt from people whk fact and opinion form on very little basis.
To those who offered well wishes I thank you.
But to everyone I wish you all well strong mental health and that you do what is right all the time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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don't think you need to explain yourself to anyone OP. My dad was the biggest pain in the arse going, did I love him? Of course I did! Do I miss him like fucking mad? Yep! I wish he was here to be a pain in the arse again but I also know full well that if he was, I couldn't live with him again. I could move back in with my mum I do wanted to but guess what, she's a pain in the arse too! She's also one of my best friends and I love her with all my heart. Family's can be complicated and it doesn't mean we love them any less.
You do you
And I think it's great that he knows he won't be alone as Xmas. |
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"don't think you need to explain yourself to anyone OP. My dad was the biggest pain in the arse going, did I love him? Of course I did! Do I miss him like fucking mad? Yep! I wish he was here to be a pain in the arse again but I also know full well that if he was, I couldn't live with him again. I could move back in with my mum I do wanted to but guess what, she's a pain in the arse too! She's also one of my best friends and I love her with all my heart. Family's can be complicated and it doesn't mean we love them any less.
You do you
And I think it's great that he knows he won't be alone as Xmas."
This |
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"Why can he not move in with you op?????
T
Because he is a pain in the arse and independant to be honest. If he moved in we would fall out. Its easier for me to visit everyday. Plus im working from home."
I so, so understand this. You're doing the right thing.
These relationships are difficult to navigate. Hard to balance dignity and independence as relationships and power dynamics shift.
It's stuff I navigate in my community work. Some of them are... challenging to deal with. I find a way to engage and hopefully balance their happiness and safety. (Not family relationships so, a bit different, although I do sass the ones who respond well to it  ) |
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