FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Men of Fab.. I need your assistance
Men of Fab.. I need your assistance
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So I'm once more trying to navigate the world of online dating.
I need to know what I should say in my first message.
What could a woman say that would make you think "oh I want to reply to her"
Your advice and suggestions greatly appreciated. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you get any suggestions that work please share with the rest of us single ladies...online dating is a mine field!"
Honestly I'm tired of swiping already. It feels so fake.
Good luck! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you already matched then hi should be sufficient. If they ignore it then move on..."
Ignoring seems to be the norm. It's likely karma for all the emails I've ignored here over the years |
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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago
cognito |
"If you get any suggestions that work please share with the rest of us single ladies...online dating is a mine field!
Honestly I'm tired of swiping already. It feels so fake.
Good luck! "
Oh I know lol I gave up a while ago as all the swiping seems weird good luck to you too gorgeous! |
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Read there profile and look at their photos and comment on something.
Ask them a question or two about it.
If the profile was pretty empty, tell them something about you and ask them something relating to that (crap example "I love movies, my favourite is... what's yours?")
Basically, anything to start a conversation.
Pretty much the same advice as people give guys on here tbh.
Also... don't send any dick pics!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Read there profile and look at their photos and comment on something.
Ask them a question or two about it.
If the profile was pretty empty, tell them something about you and ask them something relating to that (crap example "I love movies, my favourite is... what's yours?")
Basically, anything to start a conversation.
Pretty much the same advice as people give guys on here tbh.
Also... don't send any dick pics! "
Yes I think dick pics are more for after the 2nd date... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just remember .. don’t send 10 pics of your fanny, our inboxes are full of fanny.
Yes once you've seen one you've seen them all right? you can send any fanny pix to me ..I don't mind xx  "
nah mine is shy |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ask them if they've ever been to a sex club (pretty sure that will pique their interest!) Lol"
then I'll be seen as I am here, sex potential only!
I want more than that now |
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By *hav02Man
over a year ago
Glasgow/London |
Are you looking for that golden unicorn copy/paste opening? 
How about something personal, comment on something in their photos?
Getting just a "Hi" makes me think she's boring... But ask me about my backdrop and we'll be talking  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you already matched then hi should be sufficient. If they ignore it then move on...
Ignoring seems to be the norm. It's likely karma for all the emails I've ignored here over the years "
Sort of... Outside of fab the numbers aren't as much as in women's favour. The guy above who said follow the advice men get has it spot on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If she’s hot, she could literally say anything and I’d reply. sadly I'm not hot! "
You look Hot to me in your pics  Defo
Compliment them, as in ``Hi, I just have to say you look Super Hot in your pics, you're profile really caught my eye.......`` or something to that affect, assuming they are hot obviously.
Once or twice I've made the move to msg 1st cos the need was real as in I just couldn't by-pass such a hot profile & guess what it worked |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I'm once more trying to navigate the world of online dating.
I need to know what I should say in my first message.
What could a woman say that would make you think "oh I want to reply to her"
Your advice and suggestions greatly appreciated. "
not exactly a dating site sweetheart |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Read there profile and look at their photos and comment on something.
Ask them a question or two about it.
If the profile was pretty empty, tell them something about you and ask them something relating to that (crap example "I love movies, my favourite is... what's yours?")
Basically, anything to start a conversation.
Pretty much the same advice as people give guys on here tbh.
Also... don't send any dick pics! "
Definitely good way to start and show that you are genuinely want to get to know someone rather than a “ hi and fancy a fuck” lol
No dick pic definitely a good advice too x |
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"So I'm once more trying to navigate the world of online dating.
I need to know what I should say in my first message.
What could a woman say that would make you think "oh I want to reply to her"
Your advice and suggestions greatly appreciated. not exactly a dating site sweetheart "
I think the OP meant on a dating site, not on fab |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I'm once more trying to navigate the world of online dating.
I need to know what I should say in my first message.
What could a woman say that would make you think "oh I want to reply to her"
Your advice and suggestions greatly appreciated. not exactly a dating site sweetheart "
I don’t think she means here? X  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Are you looking for that golden unicorn copy/paste opening?
How about something personal, comment on something in their photos?
Getting just a "Hi" makes me think she's boring... But ask me about my backdrop and we'll be talking "
Yes!!
I've not done the dating thing in a very very long time! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So I'm once more trying to navigate the world of online dating.
I need to know what I should say in my first message.
What could a woman say that would make you think "oh I want to reply to her"
Your advice and suggestions greatly appreciated. not exactly a dating site sweetheart
I think the OP meant on a dating site, not on fab "
Yup I don't mean on fab. Although I wouldn't rule it out should it happen!
I'd just rather someone fancy my face more than my boobs! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I often wonder if asking the other person a question about them, inviting a dialogue... might make them feel interested?"
Yes. I've tried that too. No reply!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve matched with a few guys on dating sites ..if I message first a few have replied with “your not for me as I’ve seen you on a swingers site “...erm hello  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’ve matched with a few guys on dating sites ..if I message first a few have replied with “your not for me as I’ve seen you on a swingers site “...erm hello "
Oh the double standards huh |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just select something in their profile that you like.
Be positive, it's a real winner "
Yes that definitely helps
I'll save my psycho bitch stuff for latter  |
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By *igmaMan
over a year ago
Yorkshire |
Just seem interested... don’t play coy!
Double messaging every now and then works well.
If you leave everything up to him chancers are he’ll probably lose interest over time. Unless he’s a complete wet lettuce |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I'm once more trying to navigate the world of online dating.
I need to know what I should say in my first message.
What could a woman say that would make you think "oh I want to reply to her"
Your advice and suggestions greatly appreciated. not exactly a dating site sweetheart
I think the OP meant on a dating site, not on fab
Yup I don't mean on fab. Although I wouldn't rule it out should it happen!
I'd just rather someone fancy my face more than my boobs! "
You never know where you will find people you fall for x
I met my boyfriend here and now we are together for 7 years already and been living together for over 4 years x it does happen x
Either of us was looking for relationship... but it really is “ when you are not looking for it, you will find it” x good luck  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve matched with a few guys on dating sites ..if I message first a few have replied with “your not for me as I’ve seen you on a swingers site “...erm hello "
You should say,”what were you doing on there then??! Take one to know one, you know”
See what he says x
His loss anyway, hun xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve matched with a few guys on dating sites ..if I message first a few have replied with “your not for me as I’ve seen you on a swingers site “...erm hello
I was told by a guy, quite recently, that would be a reason not to even consider a woman as a potential partner... unbelievable! It is ok for them to be on a sex site but it is not ok for the woman to have dipped her toes... Go figure. "
I think so many people still have the imagine of “if you are a swinger, you must be a slut and have sex with everyone with legs and has no standards”
Same as these days still have people think if someone are gay/lesbian, if they are friendly with a person that is same sex with them, people should be careful as they want to get it on with them...
So many close mind people in this world still it is untrue  |
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Wish there was a magic bullet question OP (but then we'd all want it!!)
Best to link to something specific about them - if you share that thing then even better.
e.g. if he has tats ask which is his favourite and why.
If he mentions something specific on the profile, ask about that.
I'm no expert but would engage me.
Good luck. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I didn't think women bothered to message men considering all the messages which they recieve. Just going by my own experience, I have always had to make the first move. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I didn't think women bothered to message men considering all the messages which they recieve. Just going by my own experience, I have always had to make the first move. "
I think whatever you say will get noticed and chances are you will get a reply. |
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"I’ve matched with a few guys on dating sites ..if I message first a few have replied with “your not for me as I’ve seen you on a swingers site “...erm hello
I was told by a guy, quite recently, that would be a reason not to even consider a woman as a potential partner... unbelievable! It is ok for them to be on a sex site but it is not ok for the woman to have dipped her toes... Go figure.
I think so many people still have the imagine of “if you are a swinger, you must be a slut and have sex with everyone with legs and has no standards”
Same as these days still have people think if someone are gay/lesbian, if they are friendly with a person that is same sex with them, people should be careful as they want to get it on with them...
So many close mind people in this world still it is untrue "
Well you wouldn’t want a relationship with someone like that, so they have done you a favour by telling you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In all honesty this thread seems contradictory to your bio. Whatever you tried saying for whatever your intent may be, i wouldnt make the effort to reply after reading your bio... idk.. you may not have changed it yet since posting this thread as your intentions for being on fab may have changed.. just an observation and putting in my 2 cents for the context of the thread |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In all honesty this thread seems contradictory to your bio. Whatever you tried saying for whatever your intent may be, i wouldnt make the effort to reply after reading your bio... idk.. you may not have changed it yet since posting this thread as your intentions for being on fab may have changed.. just an observation and putting in my 2 cents for the context of the thread"
.
You're correct it is. I'm not actually taking about here though.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In all honesty this thread seems contradictory to your bio. Whatever you tried saying for whatever your intent may be, i wouldnt make the effort to reply after reading your bio... idk.. you may not have changed it yet since posting this thread as your intentions for being on fab may have changed.. just an observation and putting in my 2 cents for the context of the thread.
You're correct it is. I'm not actually taking about here though.
"
Ah fair enough then..
Well as far as online dating goes, being the first one to message is usually already a good start as the majority of women tend to be the ones who wait to be messaged than proactively searching and messaging guys.. i mean you could write anything and more often than not youll get a response from men as they almost always never get messaged by other women first.
If anything the real game begins after the first point of contact.. ive had some girls message me first with various starting messages and ive dumped them like a sack of shit cos they turned out to be crazy bitches or terrible for conversation.
Honestly you dont really need to try an awful lot when it comes to the first message.. just say something related to their pictures or bio and youll get a response |
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"So I'm once more trying to navigate the world of online dating.
I need to know what I should say in my first message.
What could a woman say that would make you think "oh I want to reply to her"
Your advice and suggestions greatly appreciated. "
I could be what you are looking for ?? ...
List your characteristics or personalities |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Exactly the same advice as people give Fab guys on how to get replies.
Read profiles, ask questions, accept it when you don't actually click. I can't tell you how fed up I got of single word introductions or being expected to do all the work. As so many profiles on here say: be interesting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree with PhoenixRising and _hillout..... pick something in their profile you like or find intriguing and go with that.
Chuck in a genuine compliment on something about them, always try to end any message with a question or something that makes a reply easy and you should be well on your way
An additional thing, which might just be me, but don’t be afraid to be forward if you feel like it. We gents like to be chased a bit too..... to be honest, if someone plays too hard to get I lose interest. If you like me, act like you do. |
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By *JohnMan
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
I can't speak for all men, but I can at least throw in my opinion.
If an attractive woman contacted me out of the blue, I would start wondering why. So tell him. There must be something about his profile that attracted you.
And as many others have said, ask a question. That gives him a start on his reply.
I will assume that your photos there are a bit tamer than the ones you have here. More vanilla photos set up less of an expectation that you'll be asking for his credit card at some point. Maybe that's just me being over-cynical.
Definitely talk about something that's in his profile. Even better if it's something you have in common |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I can't speak for all men, but I can at least throw in my opinion.
If an attractive woman contacted me out of the blue, I would start wondering why. So tell him. There must be something about his profile that attracted you.
And as many others have said, ask a question. That gives him a start on his reply.
I will assume that your photos there are a bit tamer than the ones you have here. More vanilla photos set up less of an expectation that you'll be asking for his credit card at some point. Maybe that's just me being over-cynical.
Definitely talk about something that's in his profile. Even better if it's something you have in common "
My photos there are a lot tamer. I'm not looking for a hook up. I want something that potentially could be meaningful. Maybe I'm hoping for too much though.
People match then either don't reply or don't make contact. I honestly now have so much more sympathy for people on here.
It certainly gives you the feeling that you must be really unappealing either in looks or in what you are saying. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like humour so a funny message would have me hooked. Like "I joined to meet the man of my dreams, but as all I'm having is nightmares these days you don't look as scary anymore  " |
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By *JohnMan
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
"My photos there are a lot tamer. I'm not looking for a hook up. I want something that potentially could be meaningful. Maybe I'm hoping for too much though.
People match then either don't reply or don't make contact. I honestly now have so much more sympathy for people on here.
It certainly gives you the feeling that you must be really unappealing either in looks or in what you are saying. "
There are definitely men on those sites who are looking for a real relationship. I used to be one of them. But there are also men who are only after a quick shag. You will need luck and patience. It can happen though.
You look great in your photos here, and I can't imagine that changing with more clothes. Unless you made the mistake of wearing your 'death to all men' t-shirt that day and were posing with a bloodied knife
Are the profiles you're contacting currently active? It's not always easy to tell. I expect there are still a few of mine out there, although I haven't gone near them in decades. |
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From my limited experience of dating apps the best thing you can do as an opening message is to be friendly (obviously), say what you like about their profile and maybe ask a question to initiate conversation.. Just think what you would say to someone face to face really.
And often it’s not the first message that matters, it’s the initial exchanges afterwards. I’ve had a few really good first messages sent to me but the conversation from then on has been one word answers on their part |
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I think the problem with dating sites is that they are far detached from an actual dating environment. Peoples attitudes, mannerisms, behaviour, they way they speak, carry themselves etc can not be captured on a profile. The person writes their own bio. In real life, these things aren’t written and highlighted. They are just there. The person might not even know or realise that have traits that are attractive to others.
My advice to you op, for what it’s worth, would be to ditch the dating apps and get out in the real world. Obvious the covid situation has stopped that, but only in the short term (hopefully).
My point is, that you may meet the perfect man for you. He may be a good solid decent reliable gent who would love you for who you are and be your rock. This gent might not stand out on a dating site and get swiped away because he doesn’t have a six pack or whatever floats your visual boat.
Why not give it a try? It worked long before the internet was invented! |
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"So I'm once more trying to navigate the world of online dating.
I need to know what I should say in my first message.
What could a woman say that would make you think "oh I want to reply to her"
Your advice and suggestions greatly appreciated. "
I'll say what I'd suggest to a man asking for profile or first message advice
We are all different there is not a generic works on all phrase
I however do not want a woman who is using a cliche suggested by random men
I would want a woman who did not need or want advice on message sending and I certainly would not want any message that would pacify a majority of men
My take is I'd hope a women knew who she is and that she did not message appealing to "men" rather she messaged hoping to specifically appeal to the kind of man she likes
So message men the exact way you want to and if that appeals not they are not for you x  |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"Read there profile and look at their photos and comment on something.
Ask them a question or two about it.
If the profile was pretty empty, tell them something about you and ask them something relating to that (crap example "I love movies, my favourite is... what's yours?")
Basically, anything to start a conversation.
Pretty much the same advice as people give guys on here tbh.
Also... don't send any dick pics! "
Even if like a lot of women on here you’ve secretly got one!
S |
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By *aneyyMan
over a year ago
london |
"So I'm once more trying to navigate the world of online dating.
I need to know what I should say in my first message.
What could a woman say that would make you think "oh I want to reply to her"
Your advice and suggestions greatly appreciated. "
If your trying to get someone’s attention I would suggest reading and referring to their bio. Shows you have actually taken an interest in them . Falling thst flash some bum. Always works Lool |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I'm once more trying to navigate the world of online dating.
I need to know what I should say in my first message.
What could a woman say that would make you think "oh I want to reply to her"
Your advice and suggestions greatly appreciated. "
im a millionaire and a virgin should do it |
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