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Chronic illnesses and swinging
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hello forum! I need to pick the brains of the hive-mind. Any input is much appreciated!
I have recently been diagnosed with Crohn’s disease. It’s a twat of an auto-immune condition that can make me very ill. It can also have a impact on our swinging, it can sometimes give me inflammatory arthritis which affects my mobility & of course, no anal sex during a flare!
My question is this, for those of you with chronic illnesses, at what point in the lead up to a meet do you broach the subject of your condition, if at all? |
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I think from our profile pics, mine is somewhat obvious, but yes, I'd explain my physical limitations beforehand, but focus on what I CAN do and can do well 
Similarly for S, whose particular challenge is hidden....... |
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At a point where it might be relevant when I feel I can trust them. Two categories for me, one I often can skip telling people. The other one (usually) isn't a big deal but sometimes shows red flags - please be careful around an old injury. |
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Not quite the same but I had a knee operation in my early 20's. Everyone we've met has been told that I can't move position quickly and not to pull at my legs. Sometimes I'm fine and can be used as a ragdoll, m understands that but I wouldn't presume someone who didn't know me would. |
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"Hello forum! I need to pick the brains of the hive-mind. Any input is much appreciated!
I have recently been diagnosed with Crohn’s disease. It’s a twat of an auto-immune condition that can make me very ill. It can also have a impact on our swinging, it can sometimes give me inflammatory arthritis which affects my mobility & of course, no anal sex during a flare!
My question is this, for those of you with chronic illnesses, at what point in the lead up to a meet do you broach the subject of your condition, if at all?"
I personally feel for you OP.
My wife has suffered with this for 20 years. After a course of steroids in the early years it has settled down loads, to the point where she isn't on any medication at all right now. But she does suffer with recto-vaginal fistula's which create a humiliating problem which I won't go into on here.
Sounds like you're just at the beginning of all this. I'm sure they'll find a cure one day.
Happy to advise if needed. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive had rheumatoid since I was 20.... so I usually let them know when we plan a meet there maybe some positions we can’t do if i’m experiencing flare up at the time (which I have been for a few months now )
Everyone I’ve been with have no problem and don’t question it. I used to be embarrassed but it’s part of me and I’ve just learned to embrace it and adapt.
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I have endometriosis so some positions are painful for me. I tend to bring it up when meeting seems very likely. Mostly as I don't want people to be dissapointed so I like them to be aware beforehand. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you all for your responses! I know I have to embrace it, it’s just figuring out where it fits within our swinging lifestyle!
It’s certainly a learning curve!  |
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"I have endometriosis so some positions are painful for me. I tend to bring it up when meeting seems very likely. Mostly as I don't want people to be dissapointed so I like them to be aware beforehand. "
I was diagnosed at 19 & finally had a hysterectomy last year aged 42. It played havoc with most meets & often cut them short as they couldn’t cope with a bit of blood 
J x |
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"I have endometriosis so some positions are painful for me. I tend to bring it up when meeting seems very likely. Mostly as I don't want people to be dissapointed so I like them to be aware beforehand.
I was diagnosed at 19 & finally had a hysterectomy last year aged 42. It played havoc with most meets & often cut them short as they couldn’t cope with a bit of blood
J x "
I would love a hysterectomy but I don't want kids so as a childless woman it's virtually impossible. I'm sorry you suffered for so many years. |
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"I have endometriosis so some positions are painful for me. I tend to bring it up when meeting seems very likely. Mostly as I don't want people to be dissapointed so I like them to be aware beforehand.
I was diagnosed at 19 & finally had a hysterectomy last year aged 42. It played havoc with most meets & often cut them short as they couldn’t cope with a bit of blood
J x
I would love a hysterectomy but I don't want kids so as a childless woman it's virtually impossible. I'm sorry you suffered for so many years. "
I was ignored until I took my dad with me to my gynae appointments. I had so many surgery’s, took every medication they prescribed, gave up smoking, cut down on drinking... I didn’t wan’t kids until I was told at 19 I’d never have them naturally. I did. Eventually. At 25. And then the bastards made me jump through hoops - you can have one when your’re 30. Somehow I got pregnant again when I was 29. T is very placid, but when he felt like punching my gynae I knew I need a change. And it went i my favour. Best thing ever - he was amazing & so apologetic over my previous treatment. Keep
Fighting for your rights xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would love a hysterectomy but I don't want kids so as a childless woman it's virtually impossible. I'm sorry you suffered for so many years. "
This vexes me so much! I wish they would just listen to women and trust our bloody decisions. I’m sorry you’re having to suffer. My friend is in a similar position to you and is fighting for her own hysterectomy. Good luck lovely. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All my sympathies op I have had similair but are 15 yrs in with dealing with it. I wouldnt have been able to meet when ill or with a flare so that solved that problem. I could manage it ok for meets that would only be a few hours long and not mention it, but overnights, that would be with someone I had to trust anyway I would probably discuss it, and have a clear path left for the toilet if needed. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a chronic illness and it usually comes up in conversation with the subject of work and availability. I class myself as medically retired because I had to stop work due to my M.E./CFS a few years ago. Once I've explained any impact on swinging, it's never been a problem. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have just been diagnosed with endometriosis due to problems that became very apparent during sex (cramps, pain, bleeding etc), and also have just discovered a 3 inch emdometrioma cyst on one of my ovaries  very likely that I will need to have surgery in the near future (angling for a hysterectomy but ovaries left in situ if possible). I suppose one silver lining of Covid is that it hasn't had an impact on my swinging life!! Hoping that things will have settled down by the time Covid restrictions are relaxed enough that clubs etc will be open and meets possible again and I can get back to having fun without the problems, although realise endo is not a quick fix, but have been assured that it is very treatable?
Would love to hear other womens opinions on sex, treatments and endo x |
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"I would love a hysterectomy but I don't want kids so as a childless woman it's virtually impossible. I'm sorry you suffered for so many years.
This vexes me so much! I wish they would just listen to women and trust our bloody decisions. I’m sorry you’re having to suffer. My friend is in a similar position to you and is fighting for her own hysterectomy. Good luck lovely. "
Thank you  |
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"Thank you all for your responses! I know I have to embrace it, it’s just figuring out where it fits within our swinging lifestyle!
It’s certainly a learning curve! "
That is what it is a learning curve we have had to adapt for different medical reasons but as humans we can all adapt so we can still enjoy life but just know what limitations we have . Just don't let it control you , you control it  |
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"Thank you all for your responses! I know I have to embrace it, it’s just figuring out where it fits within our swinging lifestyle!
It’s certainly a learning curve!
That is what it is a learning curve we have had to adapt for different medical reasons but as humans we can all adapt so we can still enjoy life but just know what limitations we have . Just don't let it control you , you control it "
Adapt and overcome - that's my mantra these days  |
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"Thank you all for your responses! I know I have to embrace it, it’s just figuring out where it fits within our swinging lifestyle!
It’s certainly a learning curve!
That is what it is a learning curve we have had to adapt for different medical reasons but as humans we can all adapt so we can still enjoy life but just know what limitations we have . Just don't let it control you , you control it
Adapt and overcome - that's my mantra these days "
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"I would love a hysterectomy but I don't want kids so as a childless woman it's virtually impossible. I'm sorry you suffered for so many years.
This vexes me so much! I wish they would just listen to women and trust our bloody decisions. I’m sorry you’re having to suffer. My friend is in a similar position to you and is fighting for her own hysterectomy. Good luck lovely. "
The shit I've had to go through because I might want babies.
I know my own fucking mind please treat my medical problems. |
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