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Difference between Fabswingers and dating sites ..
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"I have really been surprised by the difference... I have found out that its easier to find a sexual partner on a dating site than on here, women on Fabswingers have the confidence regardless of how they look and it's a proper turn-on and men who like women really need to be creative "Hey, that was exactly my experience when I last tried it. It seems on dating sites people pretend to seek a relationship but are really looking for a quick fix - doing so on a dating site perhaps seems m ore acceptable than admitting to being on a swing site? | |||
"I have really been surprised by the difference... I have found out that its easier to find a sexual partner on a dating site than on here, women on Fabswingers have the confidence regardless of how they look and it's a proper turn-on and men who like women really need to be creative "But youve only been here a few weeks People arent meeting for sex atm That doesnt make sense | |||
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"So women on dating sites have no confidence? "I did not say they do not have confidence.... I just meant they are not upfront with what they like ..... it was only a personal experience it might not be the case with everyone.  | |||
"[Removed by poster at 22/10/20 22:20:03]" I agree that it is easier to connect with women on dating sites. I was on tinder today for 2 mins and straight away I had a match and a chat. It never happens like that on here, but I'm a fab addict now. | |||
"I have really been surprised by the difference... I have found out that its easier to find a sexual partner on a dating site than on here, women on Fabswingers have the confidence regardless of how they look and it's a proper turn-on and men who like women really need to be creative
But youve only been here a few weeks
People arent meeting for sex atm
That doesnt make sense"So far it looks like its going to prove more difficult even when people start meeting..and its just my observation and maybe after sometime i will see it differently | |||
"[Removed by poster at 22/10/20 22:20:03] I agree that it is easier to connect with women on dating sites. I was on tinder today for 2 mins and straight away I had a match and a chat. It never happens like that on here, but I'm a fab addict now. " hahaha i get what you mean ... there is something about Fab which really fascinating | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 22/10/20 22:20:03] I agree that it is easier to connect with women on dating sites. I was on tinder today for 2 mins and straight away I had a match and a chat. It never happens like that on here, but I'm a fab addict now. hahaha i get what you mean ... there is something about Fab which really fascinating "Yes it's intriguing | |||
"I have really been surprised by the difference... I have found out that its easier to find a sexual partner on a dating site than on here, women on Fabswingers have the confidence regardless of how they look and it's a proper turn-on and men who like women really need to be creative
But youve only been here a few weeks
People arent meeting for sex atm
That doesnt make sense
So far it looks like its going to prove more difficult even when people start meeting..and its just my observation and maybe after sometime i will see it differently "So, your OP wasnt really true then? Ok | |||
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"The difference between dating sites and Fab for me is... Dating sites... My inbox gathers dust, so much so I contemplate going on the Undateables. Fab... I could have a different guy every night. As much as I understand they're for different things. That's the reality, good for a shag but not a relationship. " lovely vedio  | |||
"The difference between dating sites and Fab for me is... Dating sites... My inbox gathers dust, so much so I contemplate going on the Undateables. Fab... I could have a different guy every night. As much as I understand they're for different things. That's the reality, good for a shag but not a relationship. " It's because you are strong enough to go it alone until you meet the right one. Just anyone won't do, but they will do okay for you to find company when you need it. You are seeing to your every need as a strong confident woman. You don't need anyone, anyone won't do! You don't need to settle for anything or anyone less than you deserve. Xx | |||
"The difference between dating sites and Fab for me is... Dating sites... My inbox gathers dust, so much so I contemplate going on the Undateables. Fab... I could have a different guy every night. As much as I understand they're for different things. That's the reality, good for a shag but not a relationship. " This ladys got it in one! Ive been on dating sites and got sick of guys who profess to be wanting a relationship only really wanting a bunk up. Least on here i know exactly whats wanted and i can then make the informed decision to get involved or not. | |||
"The difference between dating sites and Fab for me is... Dating sites... My inbox gathers dust, so much so I contemplate going on the Undateables. Fab... I could have a different guy every night. As much as I understand they're for different things. That's the reality, good for a shag but not a relationship. It's because you are strong enough to go it alone until you meet the right one. Just anyone won't do, but they will do okay for you to find company when you need it. You are seeing to your every need as a strong confident woman. You don't need anyone, anyone won't do! You don't need to settle for anything or anyone less than you deserve. Xx" Thank you. Last relationship was bad which is why I'm not settling for anything less than what I feel I deserve.  | |||
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"The difference between dating sites and Fab for me is... Dating sites... My inbox gathers dust, so much so I contemplate going on the Undateables. Fab... I could have a different guy every night. As much as I understand they're for different things. That's the reality, good for a shag but not a relationship. " That's the same for me too :/ | |||
 Id be way less inclined to shag anyone if I met them on a dating site without meeting a few times first | |||
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"So you're just using 'dates' to get a shag Id be way less inclined to shag anyone if I met them on a dating site without meeting a few times first "Not using the dating site for that..... but I am just saying as a guy wanting to meet someone it is easier on a dating site to Fab..... but Fab seems to be more exciting to be part of ... | |||
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"Hmmm bit of an odd observation this and one I wouldn't really post about it sounds like your having a, dig at fab because your not having much luck here obviously the results coincide with your effort " Hahaha not really but you do get more traffic of conversation from ladies on there.... | |||
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"So you're just using 'dates' to get a shag Id be way less inclined to shag anyone if I met them on a dating site without meeting a few times first
Not using the dating site for that..... but I am just saying as a guy wanting to meet someone it is easier on a dating site to Fab..... but Fab seems to be more exciting to be part of ... "With you now. There are lots of fabbers on dating sites | |||
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"I have really been surprised by the difference... I have found out that its easier to find a sexual partner on a dating site than on here, women on Fabswingers have the confidence regardless of how they look and it's a proper turn-on and men who like women really need to be creative "Dating sites and swinging sites usually have the same people in the same geographical area.... So I usually match with the same people on both sites.... The only difference is on a dating site the same person you matched with would have face pictures and plus pictures from social media posted... On a swinging/sex site they will have their nudes posted and sexual desires.... | |||
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"The difference between dating sites and Fab for me is... Dating sites... My inbox gathers dust, so much so I contemplate going on the Undateables. Fab... I could have a different guy every night. As much as I understand they're for different things. That's the reality, good for a shag but not a relationship. That's the same for me too :/" This is so true. Ok to bonk but not take home to.mother. | |||
"The difference between dating sites and Fab for me is... Dating sites... My inbox gathers dust, so much so I contemplate going on the Undateables. Fab... I could have a different guy every night. As much as I understand they're for different things. That's the reality, good for a shag but not a relationship. That's the same for me too :/ This is so true. Ok to bonk but not take home to.mother. " | |||
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"I have really been surprised by the difference... I have found out that its easier to find a sexual partner on a dating site than on here, women on Fabswingers have the confidence regardless of how they look and it's a proper turn-on and men who like women really need to be creative
But youve only been here a few weeks
People arent meeting for sex atm
That doesnt make sense
So far it looks like its going to prove more difficult even when people start meeting..and its just my observation and maybe after sometime i will see it differently "It's always hard work here for you single men and it's wise to know this, so that you can take decisions and adjust your expectations appropriately. | |||
"The difference between dating sites and Fab for me is... Dating sites... My inbox gathers dust, so much so I contemplate going on the Undateables. Fab... I could have a different guy every night. As much as I understand they're for different things. That's the reality, good for a shag but not a relationship. That's the same for me too :/ This is so true. Ok to bonk but not take home to.mother. " And it so "p**ses me off.. I'm absolutely fan dabby dozy amazingly brilliant.. Socially & in the sack! They don't know what they're missing!  | |||
"Tinder is a dating site, fab is a swinging site, why would you expect them to work the same way?" I have never known anyone on tinder that isn't just after a sh*g. They chat for a bit then when you start to discuss what they're after it's all about "just out of a relationship" "want some fun" "never settling down again" Or maybe I'm just crap! I'm not crap at all 
They're just di*ks | |||
"The difference between dating sites and Fab for me is... Dating sites... My inbox gathers dust, so much so I contemplate going on the Undateables. Fab... I could have a different guy every night. As much as I understand they're for different things. That's the reality, good for a shag but not a relationship. That's the same for me too :/ This is so true. Ok to bonk but not take home to.mother. And it so "p**ses me off.. I'm absolutely fan dabby dozy amazingly brilliant.. Socially & in the sack! They don't know what they're missing! "I can imagine you saying this pointing your finger at the computer screen...... | |||
" I have never known anyone on tinder that isn't just after a sh*g. They chat for a bit then when you start to discuss what they're after it's all about "just out of a relationship" "want some fun" "never settling down again" " Do you know how expensive a divorce can be for some men? I’ve seen many men lose half their fortune to ex wives.... So , I can see why some men never want to settle down again...... they can’t afford it.... | |||
" I have never known anyone on tinder that isn't just after a sh*g. They chat for a bit then when you start to discuss what they're after it's all about "just out of a relationship" "want some fun" "never settling down again" Do you know how expensive a divorce can be for some men? I’ve seen many men lose half their fortune to ex wives.... So , I can see why some men never want to settle down again...... they can’t afford it.... " Are you after a "so sorry for you all" I wouldn't know.. I walked away from mine taking nothing kng. Shag I'm meaning is the men who are on a "dating" site saying they want a relationship when all they really want is sex. That's great if you know up front.. Why hide it? . | |||
" I have never known anyone on tinder that isn't just after a sh*g. They chat for a bit then when you start to discuss what they're after it's all about "just out of a relationship" "want some fun" "never settling down again" Do you know how expensive a divorce can be for some men? I’ve seen many men lose half their fortune to ex wives.... So , I can see why some men never want to settle down again...... they can’t afford it.... Are you after a "so sorry for you all" I wouldn't know.. I walked away from mine taking nothing kng. Shag I'm meaning is the men who are on a "dating" site saying they want a relationship when all they really want is sex. That's great if you know up front.. Why hide it? . " Because there is no nice way to tell a woman. “ You are good enough to have sex with , but not good enough to date “ | |||
" I have never known anyone on tinder that isn't just after a sh*g. They chat for a bit then when you start to discuss what they're after it's all about "just out of a relationship" "want some fun" "never settling down again" Do you know how expensive a divorce can be for some men? I’ve seen many men lose half their fortune to ex wives.... So , I can see why some men never want to settle down again...... they can’t afford it.... Are you after a "so sorry for you all" I wouldn't know.. I walked away from mine taking nothing kng. Shag I'm meaning is the men who are on a "dating" site saying they want a relationship when all they really want is sex. That's great if you know up front.. Why hide it? . Because there is no nice way to tell a woman. “ You are good enough to have sex with , but not good enough to date “ " It's not about being nice. I have no problem telling men if they're datable or i just want their body.. Honesty is the way forward.. Generally gets you more sex. Trust me I've had 2 FB for three years as none of us want a relationship.. I just don't understand why people can't be honest. | |||
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"I have really been surprised by the difference... I have found out that its easier to find a sexual partner on a dating site than on here, women on Fabswingers have the confidence regardless of how they look and it's a proper turn-on and men who like women really need to be creative "Remember, OP, the original intention of this site was 'for swingers, by swingers'. Much has changed since it's origin & now there are all kind of people on here for different reasons. it's more than just a swinging site now. It's a place for 'casuls' (sorry, got mixed up with noobs on Ds3) casuals. | |||
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"Honestly I think the difference between the 2 is verifications they’re the fakest version of getting to know someone yet it’s such a big thing and bio’s on others you talk and get to know eachother but SOME people don’t know how to have a conversation due to their past and probably the reason why they’re here and only here NOT ALL BTW I’ve never struggled with getting sex weather in a club on tinder or just someone I know casually and not too much on here but out of them all this has been the hardest and what I thought would be the easiest and don’t get me wrong it is easy on here too but too many people rely on verifications and bios too much they can also be made up like my previous profile I wasn’t too discrete and got found by locals some I’ve had sex with some I haven’t and gained 6 verifications in a day 4 I had sex with before and 2 that wanted to have sex I shortly after deleted that profile and now I’m seeing a little more If you agree with my analogy or disagree or want to raise something reply, dm or whatever let’s talk just don’t come ready for a fight I’m just sharing my thoughts Let’s talk " Get what you're saying but remember what this site's original intention was, 'made by swingers for swingers'. Comparing it to a dating site is just way off.....it was originally made for swinging couples... | |||
"I have really been surprised by the difference... I have found out that its easier to find a sexual partner on a dating site than on here, women on Fabswingers have the confidence regardless of how they look and it's a proper turn-on and men who like women really need to be creative "I beg to differ! I’d say dating sites have men who are looking for the same thing men are here but are considerably less respectful or selective about it. Dating sites tend to be ‘one off - fuck and go’ seekers. At least with fab you know the score rather than use a dating site with potential relationship as bait! I have to say most dating site men’s profile pics belong in a mugshot gallery!!! | |||
"I have really been surprised by the difference... I have found out that its easier to find a sexual partner on a dating site than on here, women on Fabswingers have the confidence regardless of how they look and it's a proper turn-on and men who like women really need to be creative "I haven't been on dating sites for a few years, but for the brief period I was on them I found the opposite - all the men I spoke to or met for a drink actually wanted a relationship I quickly deleted my profiles and came back to Fab  | |||
"Honestly I think the difference between the 2 is verifications they’re the fakest version of getting to know someone yet it’s such a big thing and bio’s on others you talk and get to know eachother but SOME people don’t know how to have a conversation due to their past and probably the reason why they’re here and only here NOT ALL BTW I’ve never struggled with getting sex weather in a club on tinder or just someone I know casually and not too much on here but out of them all this has been the hardest and what I thought would be the easiest and don’t get me wrong it is easy on here too but too many people rely on verifications and bios too much they can also be made up like my previous profile I wasn’t too discrete and got found by locals some I’ve had sex with some I haven’t and gained 6 verifications in a day 4 I had sex with before and 2 that wanted to have sex I shortly after deleted that profile and now I’m seeing a little more If you agree with my analogy or disagree or want to raise something reply, dm or whatever let’s talk just don’t come ready for a fight I’m just sharing my thoughts Let’s talk Get what you're saying but remember what this site's original intention was, 'made by swingers for swingers'. Comparing it to a dating site is just way off.....it was originally made for swinging couples..." That does make sense and I would understand it coming from couples but If singles Are acting the same way it almost doesn’t make sense to me But don’t worry I wouldn’t compare the 2 just thought I’d add my couple penny’s encase anyone found useful | |||
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"Women on dating sites maybe more lonely and single. Where as women on here may have a partner/husband or friends with benefits so although a single profile may not be in need of the intimacy from a new person as much. I have never been on a dating site officially (I have found people pretending to be me that is another story) but I know women on here get a lot of attention. We get a high volume but I should a single woman would get even more. They have a wide choice as men outnumber women on here. And as someone pointed out people should not be meeting from here. " Not sure about being lonely or even single for that matter lol | |||
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"I have really been surprised by the difference... I have found out that its easier to find a sexual partner on a dating site than on here, women on Fabswingers have the confidence regardless of how they look and it's a proper turn-on and men who like women really need to be creative "Oh which dating site... asking for a friend | |||
"Dating sites= people pretending they want a relationship Swingers sites= people pretending they don't want a relationship " I like this ...... | |||
"Dating sites= people pretending they want a relationship Swingers sites= people pretending they don't want a relationship I like this ......" I think we all want the perfect relationship. This is perfect for the in-between relationships phase. When you're heart has been broken and you are not ready love again. When you have been cast aside for a better model. When you are feeling low, someone will pick you up, give you something to look forward to, make you feel better in yourself. Yes okay, the compliment s are just to bed you but when you are told you are beautiful everyday , whether it's true or not, whether it's from someone you are attracted to or not. It helps you move on and start enjoying life again. So much so, you believe being single is much better. Until a pandemic kicks in and you are reminded, you are on your own. | |||
"Dating sites= people pretending they want a relationship Swingers sites= people pretending they don't want a relationship I like this ......"  | |||
"Dating sites= people pretending they want a relationship Swingers sites= people pretending they don't want a relationship I like this ...... I think we all want the perfect relationship. This is perfect for the in-between relationships phase. When you're heart has been broken and you are not ready love again. When you have been cast aside for a better model. When you are feeling low, someone will pick you up, give you something to look forward to, make you feel better in yourself. Yes okay, the compliment s are just to bed you but when you are told you are beautiful everyday , whether it's true or not, whether it's from someone you are attracted to or not. It helps you move on and start enjoying life again. So much so, you believe being single is much better. Until a pandemic kicks in and you are reminded, you are on your own. " You’re my new hero...... thank you got a honest post...... we need more people like you in the forum.... | |||
"Dating sites= people pretending they want a relationship Swingers sites= people pretending they don't want a relationship I like this ...... I think we all want the perfect relationship. This is perfect for the in-between relationships phase. When you're heart has been broken and you are not ready love again. When you have been cast aside for a better model. When you are feeling low, someone will pick you up, give you something to look forward to, make you feel better in yourself. Yes okay, the compliment s are just to bed you but when you are told you are beautiful everyday , whether it's true or not, whether it's from someone you are attracted to or not. It helps you move on and start enjoying life again. So much so, you believe being single is much better. Until a pandemic kicks in and you are reminded, you are on your own. " Great post | |||
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"Dating sites= people pretending they want a relationship Swingers sites= people pretending they don't want a relationship I like this ...... I think we all want the perfect relationship. This is perfect for the in-between relationships phase. When you're heart has been broken and you are not ready love again. When you have been cast aside for a better model. When you are feeling low, someone will pick you up, give you something to look forward to, make you feel better in yourself. Yes okay, the compliment s are just to bed you but when you are told you are beautiful everyday , whether it's true or not, whether it's from someone you are attracted to or not. It helps you move on and start enjoying life again. So much so, you believe being single is much better. Until a pandemic kicks in and you are reminded, you are on your own. " I totally agree with this | |||
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"tinder for example, is a hookup site" Not in any of the places I've used it. Not in the last, what... five years? "fab is strictly for kinky daters" Fab is *tremendously* vanilla. The lack of familiarity with kink is palpable, especially in the forums. | |||
"I didn't think Fab was a dating site. I (perhaps naïvely) thought it was a place for swingers to organise swinging things (like parties, club stuff) and for swingers to chat in a safe environment. Maybe my original impression of the purpose of the site was wrong?" Maybe, I've had 2 longish relationships courtesy of Fab. | |||
"I have really been surprised by the difference... I have found out that its easier to find a sexual partner on a dating site than on here, women on Fabswingers have the confidence regardless of how they look and it's a proper turn-on and men who like women really need to be creative "Fab is different. I've not been on a dating site but I presume people talk to eachother like they would if they met in person? I can't imagine ever being out and someone approaching me with the opening statement, I'm a heavy cummer, look at my cock. | |||
" Remember, OP, the original intention of this site was 'for swingers, by swingers'. Much has changed since it's origin & now there are all kind of people on here for different reasons. it's more than just a swinging site now. It's a place for 'casuls' (sorry, got mixed up with noobs on Ds3) casuals. "Confession time, I'm not a swinger, I use this site for NSA sex, and I've had a modicum of success. | |||
"tinder for example, is a hookup site Not in any of the places I've used it. Not in the last, what... five years? fab is strictly for kinky daters Fab is *tremendously* vanilla. The lack of familiarity with kink is palpable, especially in the forums." RACK and SSC discussions are not the only measures of kink. Fab is a kink, at least in its core of swinging and hookups. Increase in singles here and other sites offering the same make it appear vanilla. But to bulk of population swinging and its challenge to traditional relationship values is a much harder kink to accept than 50 shades of grey.  | |||
"tinder for example, is a hookup site Not in any of the places I've used it. Not in the last, what... five years? fab is strictly for kinky daters Fab is *tremendously* vanilla. The lack of familiarity with kink is palpable, especially in the forums. RACK and SSC discussions are not the only measures of kink. Fab is a kink, at least in its core of swinging and hookups. Increase in singles here and other sites offering the same make it appear vanilla. But to bulk of population swinging and its challenge to traditional relationship values is a much harder kink to accept than 50 shades of grey. "That’s not a kink. It’s a lifestyle choice to swing. Not all lifestyle choices are kinks. What’s kinky about it? I’d say lots of people on fab are less kinky than people would expect. Most people would be quite vanilla. And fucking other people while in a relationship isn’t a kink as much as it is a “non conventional” relationship. | |||
"tinder for example, is a hookup site Not in any of the places I've used it. Not in the last, what... five years? fab is strictly for kinky daters Fab is *tremendously* vanilla. The lack of familiarity with kink is palpable, especially in the forums. RACK and SSC discussions are not the only measures of kink. Fab is a kink, at least in its core of swinging and hookups. Increase in singles here and other sites offering the same make it appear vanilla. But to bulk of population swinging and its challenge to traditional relationship values is a much harder kink to accept than 50 shades of grey.
That’s not a kink. It’s a lifestyle choice to swing. Not all lifestyle choices are kinks. What’s kinky about it?
I’d say lots of people on fab are less kinky than people would expect. Most people would be quite vanilla. And fucking other people while in a relationship isn’t a kink as much as it is a “non conventional” relationship. "Riiight. Non-conventional covers pretty much anything to the vanishing point. For a start Kink is defined by the mass of the few. 70s Swingers tried (and failed) to normalise their sexual preferences under the mask of lifestyle, but if sex wasnt the core (be it sex in groups or non partner swaps or whatever) it would not be any different to a cheese and wine party. That aside, as this site absolutely shows, society no longer distinguishes (or cares) about swinging. It is just about the sex. So love your partner, meet others who love their partners. Have sex with each other vanilla or otherwise - but remember the reason you do it is because that IS the kink. Throw in sex with single people, unicorns, BBC and WE and then calling yourself a swinger is just a useful catchall phrase. It's a kink as far as the rest of the world is concerned... What's in a name anyway | |||
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" “It is just about the sex” You keep telling yourself that "Yes of course (how could I forget) *and* the forums | |||
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"This is so true a dating site is just and excuse to get fuck and chucks. At least on here people are honest and open well... mostly. " Indeed, often singles here on Fab enjoy the lifestyle but still want a partner or buddy to share that with. Not a “Fuck & Chuck”, which is often how Tinder etc gets used. | |||
"That’s not a kink. It’s a lifestyle choice to swing. Not all lifestyle choices are kinks. What’s kinky about it? I’d say lots of people on fab are less kinky than people would expect. Most people would be quite vanilla. And fucking other people while in a relationship isn’t a kink as much as it is a “non conventional” relationship. " Yes, absolutely this. I am consistenly astonished by how vanilla Fab is. This isn't a criticism, by they way; kinkiness isn't an arms race. "a dating site is just and excuse to get fuck and chucks" What dating sites are people having this experience on? Asking for a friend. | |||
"tinder for example, is a hookup site Not in any of the places I've used it. Not in the last, what... five years? fab is strictly for kinky daters Fab is *tremendously* vanilla. The lack of familiarity with kink is palpable, especially in the forums." If we're to vanilla for you then why are you here?
Judgey! | |||
"If we're too vanilla for you..." I haven't said that. " ...then why are you here?" Because I like vanilla sex too. Pointing out that the two things are different is not the same as saying one is better than the other. I do kinky stuff with people who enjoy kinky stuff. I do vanilla stuff with people who enjoy vanilla stuff. | |||
"If we're too vanilla for you... I haven't said that. ...then why are you here? Because I like vanilla sex too. Pointing out that the two things are different is not the same as saying one is better than the other. I do kinky stuff with people who enjoy kinky stuff. I do vanilla stuff with people who enjoy vanilla stuff. " Your post came across as superior and judgey. | |||
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"If we're too vanilla for you... I haven't said that. ...then why are you here? Because I like vanilla sex too. Pointing out that the two things are different is not the same as saying one is better than the other. I do kinky stuff with people who enjoy kinky stuff. I do vanilla stuff with people who enjoy vanilla stuff. Your post came across as superior and judgey." I'm sorry. That wasn't my intention. | |||
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"That’s not a kink. It’s a lifestyle choice to swing. Not all lifestyle choices are kinks. What’s kinky about it? I’d say lots of people on fab are less kinky than people would expect. Most people would be quite vanilla. And fucking other people while in a relationship isn’t a kink as much as it is a “non conventional” relationship. Yes, absolutely this. I am consistenly astonished by how vanilla Fab is. This isn't a criticism, by they way; kinkiness isn't an arms race. a dating site is just and excuse to get fuck and chucks What dating sites are people having this experience on? Asking for a friend. " This has the usual hallmarks you see on other Alt sites. When people move into a kink, and become more and more involved they become condescending about those who do not share their flavour or the extent to which they do it. They consolidate their identity by defining others who are not part of their set, and Vanilla is the usual (derogatory) term. Those same people have often lost sight of the fact that their vanilla is actually most non-Alt peoples idea of kink. Kink is defined by the straight it deviates from. As mentioned earlier, in terms of swinging, sharing a partner challenges far more people in their perception than a single person who engages in the exact same activity. It is not a competition but your defining others is seeking to make it as such. As a coda. Next time you have vanilla (the real stuff), try looking up how expensive, labour intensive and desireable a product it STILL is... | |||
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"That’s not a kink. It’s a lifestyle choice to swing. Not all lifestyle choices are kinks. What’s kinky about it? I’d say lots of people on fab are less kinky than people would expect. Most people would be quite vanilla. And fucking other people while in a relationship isn’t a kink as much as it is a “non conventional” relationship. Yes, absolutely this. I am consistenly astonished by how vanilla Fab is. This isn't a criticism, by they way; kinkiness isn't an arms race. a dating site is just and excuse to get fuck and chucks What dating sites are people having this experience on? Asking for a friend. This has the usual hallmarks you see on other Alt sites. When people move into a kink, and become more and more involved they become condescending about those who do not share their flavour or the extent to which they do it. They consolidate their identity by defining others who are not part of their set, and Vanilla is the usual (derogatory) term. Those same people have often lost sight of the fact that their vanilla is actually most non-Alt peoples idea of kink. Kink is defined by the straight it deviates from. As mentioned earlier, in terms of swinging, sharing a partner challenges far more people in their perception than a single person who engages in the exact same activity. It is not a competition but your defining others is seeking to make it as such. As a coda. Next time you have vanilla (the real stuff), try looking up how expensive, labour intensive and desireable a product it STILL is... "I do not consider "vanilla" to be derogatory. I certainly do not use it as such. Kinky stuff is valid. Vanilla stuff is valid. It's not a competition. It's not an arms race. I do both as a given partner desires. If "vanilla" is considered too sensitive a term, is there a preferred one that people on here would find less upsetting? | |||
"That’s not a kink. It’s a lifestyle choice to swing. Not all lifestyle choices are kinks. What’s kinky about it? I’d say lots of people on fab are less kinky than people would expect. Most people would be quite vanilla. And fucking other people while in a relationship isn’t a kink as much as it is a “non conventional” relationship. Yes, absolutely this. I am consistenly astonished by how vanilla Fab is. This isn't a criticism, by they way; kinkiness isn't an arms race. a dating site is just and excuse to get fuck and chucks What dating sites are people having this experience on? Asking for a friend. This has the usual hallmarks you see on other Alt sites. When people move into a kink, and become more and more involved they become condescending about those who do not share their flavour or the extent to which they do it. They consolidate their identity by defining others who are not part of their set, and Vanilla is the usual (derogatory) term. Those same people have often lost sight of the fact that their vanilla is actually most non-Alt peoples idea of kink. Kink is defined by the straight it deviates from. As mentioned earlier, in terms of swinging, sharing a partner challenges far more people in their perception than a single person who engages in the exact same activity. It is not a competition but your defining others is seeking to make it as such. As a coda. Next time you have vanilla (the real stuff), try looking up how expensive, labour intensive and desireable a product it STILL is...
I do not consider "vanilla" to be derogatory. I certainly do not use it as such.
Kinky stuff is valid.
Vanilla stuff is valid.
It's not a competition. It's not an arms race. I do both as a given partner desires.
If "vanilla" is considered too sensitive a term, is there a preferred one that people on here would find less upsetting?"Nice try. Use a term well very known in alt circles that you include yourself in, then say "Oh but *I* didn't mean it". Most on here would accept that they are not in line with a chunk of society , so "kink" is fair to all. You may not do what others do but there is no hierarchy of more or less, so seeking a term that defines people on a that scale is by its very nature divisive. Tolerance is key. Why make the distinction at all. | |||
"I have really been surprised by the difference... I have found out that its easier to find a sexual partner on a dating site than on here, women on Fabswingers have the confidence regardless of how they look and it's a proper turn-on and men who like women really need to be creative
But youve only been here a few weeks
People arent meeting for sex atm
That doesnt make sense"Makes perfect sense? Same night sex is pretty prolific on certain mainstream dating apps. Download... swipe... meet. Easy. Even right now. | |||
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"I have really been surprised by the difference... I have found out that its easier to find a sexual partner on a dating site than on here, women on Fabswingers have the confidence regardless of how they look and it's a proper turn-on and men who like women really need to be creative
But youve only been here a few weeks
People arent meeting for sex atm
That doesnt make sense
Makes perfect sense? Same night sex is pretty prolific on certain mainstream dating apps. Download... swipe... meet. Easy. Even right now. "Then should Fab (and other dating sites) go offline until its over? Right now they are still enabling meetings between different households despite the messaging advising against. Think I'll put this on separate post | |||
"That’s not a kink. It’s a lifestyle choice to swing. Not all lifestyle choices are kinks. What’s kinky about it? I’d say lots of people on fab are less kinky than people would expect. Most people would be quite vanilla. And fucking other people while in a relationship isn’t a kink as much as it is a “non conventional” relationship. Yes, absolutely this. I am consistenly astonished by how vanilla Fab is. This isn't a criticism, by they way; kinkiness isn't an arms race. a dating site is just and excuse to get fuck and chucks What dating sites are people having this experience on? Asking for a friend. This has the usual hallmarks you see on other Alt sites. When people move into a kink, and become more and more involved they become condescending about those who do not share their flavour or the extent to which they do it. They consolidate their identity by defining others who are not part of their set, and Vanilla is the usual (derogatory) term. Those same people have often lost sight of the fact that their vanilla is actually most non-Alt peoples idea of kink. Kink is defined by the straight it deviates from. As mentioned earlier, in terms of swinging, sharing a partner challenges far more people in their perception than a single person who engages in the exact same activity. It is not a competition but your defining others is seeking to make it as such. As a coda. Next time you have vanilla (the real stuff), try looking up how expensive, labour intensive and desireable a product it STILL is...
I do not consider "vanilla" to be derogatory. I certainly do not use it as such.
Kinky stuff is valid.
Vanilla stuff is valid.
It's not a competition. It's not an arms race. I do both as a given partner desires.
If "vanilla" is considered too sensitive a term, is there a preferred one that people on here would find less upsetting?
Nice try. Use a term well very known in alt circles that you include yourself in, then say "Oh but *I* didn't mean it".
Most on here would accept that they are not in line with a chunk of society , so "kink" is fair to all. You may not do what others do but there is no hierarchy of more or less, so seeking a term that defines people on a that scale is by its very nature divisive. Tolerance is key. Why make the distinction at all.
"I think you’re projecting you’re annoyance onto his words in order to paint them a certain way just because you got irked sometime earlier in the chat by what he said. Like you say just above, surely tolerance should be key | |||
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"Dating is looking for relationship. Fabs is just a fuck. No confusion." Not for everyone my dear. Never been on a dating site though. Heard they’re not much different to fab. | |||
"Dating is looking for relationship. Fabs is just a fuck. No confusion. Not for everyone my dear. Never been on a dating site though. Heard they’re not much different to fab. " You should try Tinder, you will hate me | |||
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"They are different but trying to find someone on a 'traditional' dating site that would like to enjoy the swinging and kink side to life is not easy. So why not put on my profile that I'm interested in something more long term incase someone also is? "I miss the sixties | |||
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"They are different but trying to find someone on a 'traditional' dating site that would like to enjoy the swinging and kink side to life is not easy. So why not put on my profile that I'm interested in something more long term incase someone also is? "^^ Exactly this ^^. | |||
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"They are different but trying to find someone on a 'traditional' dating site that would like to enjoy the swinging and kink side to life is not easy. So why not put on my profile that I'm interested in something more long term incase someone also is? "Just put something on your dating profile that says what your looking for. Mine state “not looking for vanilla” and they do get interest for that reason. Kinkster are everywhere not just on fab. Plus it filters out the vanilla people. | |||
"They are different but trying to find someone on a 'traditional' dating site that would like to enjoy the swinging and kink side to life is not easy. So why not put on my profile that I'm interested in something more long term incase someone also is?
Just put something on your dating profile that says what your looking for. Mine state “not looking for vanilla” and they do get interest for that reason. Kinkster are everywhere not just on fab. Plus it filters out the vanilla people."That is very true and to a certain extent I do. But also don't like being to specific as I live in an area where everyone seems to know everyone | |||
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"The difference between dating sites and Fab for me is... Dating sites... My inbox gathers dust, so much so I contemplate going on the Undateables. Fab... I could have a different guy every night. As much as I understand they're for different things. That's the reality, good for a shag but not a relationship. " This reads so familiar, me too | |||
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"I have really been surprised by the difference... I have found out that its easier to find a sexual partner on a dating site than on here, women on Fabswingers have the confidence regardless of how they look and it's a proper turn-on and men who like women really need to be creative
Hey, that was exactly my experience when I last tried it. It seems on dating sites people pretend to seek a relationship but are really looking for a quick fix - doing so on a dating site perhaps seems m ore acceptable than admitting to being on a swing site? "Is there a quick fix on fab ? | |||
"They are different but trying to find someone on a 'traditional' dating site that would like to enjoy the swinging and kink side to life is not easy. So why not put on my profile that I'm interested in something more long term incase someone also is?
Just put something on your dating profile that says what your looking for. Mine state “not looking for vanilla” and they do get interest for that reason. Kinkster are everywhere not just on fab. Plus it filters out the vanilla people.
That is very true and to a certain extent I do. But also don't like being to specific as I live in an area where everyone seems to know everyone "Never really been to ‘lost in my head’ world north of the boarder but have family near Inverness. So I expect it’s quite small and quaint ...and everybody does know everybody! Plus there doesn’t seem to be a lot of anything (dating or kink) north of Perth.  | |||
"That’s not a kink. It’s a lifestyle choice to swing. Not all lifestyle choices are kinks. What’s kinky about it? I’d say lots of people on fab are less kinky than people would expect. Most people would be quite vanilla. And fucking other people while in a relationship isn’t a kink as much as it is a “non conventional” relationship. Yes, absolutely this. I am consistenly astonished by how vanilla Fab is. This isn't a criticism, by they way; kinkiness isn't an arms race. a dating site is just and excuse to get fuck and chucks What dating sites are people having this experience on? Asking for a friend. This has the usual hallmarks you see on other Alt sites. When people move into a kink, and become more and more involved they become condescending about those who do not share their flavour or the extent to which they do it. They consolidate their identity by defining others who are not part of their set, and Vanilla is the usual (derogatory) term. Those same people have often lost sight of the fact that their vanilla is actually most non-Alt peoples idea of kink. Kink is defined by the straight it deviates from. As mentioned earlier, in terms of swinging, sharing a partner challenges far more people in their perception than a single person who engages in the exact same activity. It is not a competition but your defining others is seeking to make it as such. As a coda. Next time you have vanilla (the real stuff), try looking up how expensive, labour intensive and desireable a product it STILL is...
I do not consider "vanilla" to be derogatory. I certainly do not use it as such.
Kinky stuff is valid.
Vanilla stuff is valid.
It's not a competition. It's not an arms race. I do both as a given partner desires.
If "vanilla" is considered too sensitive a term, is there a preferred one that people on here would find less upsetting?
Nice try. Use a term well very known in alt circles that you include yourself in, then say "Oh but *I* didn't mean it".
Most on here would accept that they are not in line with a chunk of society , so "kink" is fair to all. You may not do what others do but there is no hierarchy of more or less, so seeking a term that defines people on a that scale is by its very nature divisive. Tolerance is key. Why make the distinction at all.
I think you’re projecting you’re annoyance onto his words in order to paint them a certain way just because you got irked sometime earlier in the chat by what he said. Like you say just above, surely tolerance should be key "First off. In no way annoyed. Healthy discussion is always valuable to learn from. In this case the use of the word vanilla is commonplace within some communities (not generally Fab or most dating sites) with broadly the same intent; always "the other" and value based, "I do X you do not, you are vanilla" or "the world is full of flavours and you chose vanilla". It is a loaded phrase, particularly used in BDSM to describe non/inexperienced players. The bit I picked up on was "Yes, absolutely this. I am consistenly astonished by how vanilla Fab is. This isn't a criticism, by they way; kinkiness isn't an arms race." - It is disingenous to use a phrase that is loaded with negative value judgement and then try and say ah but it's not. Other forumites picked up on it, so as a reading it would not seem unreasonable for me to do so also. For that same reason it is also unlikely to be projection, particularly as the thread link was not done by me but the second user. You imply by the mock quoting of my phrase that I am intolerant. Tolerance applies only insofar as it does not, by its silence, enable the suppression of one group over another. Sometimes people are wholly unaware of the impact of their language, or the shift in context that a different community response would read. Sometimes they know full well, and use a term publically and enjoy knowing others will not pick up on an insult. It happens. No idea in this case, but I point it out. As to my personal preference. Home made vanilla ice cream, with madagascan pods, is one of the sweetest and best things I have ever made (and tasted). Vainilla (the original Portugeuse name) was based on the Latin for Vagina. We could all do with a bit more Vainilla in our lives... | |||
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"That’s not a kink. It’s a lifestyle choice to swing. Not all lifestyle choices are kinks. What’s kinky about it? I’d say lots of people on fab are less kinky than people would expect. Most people would be quite vanilla. And fucking other people while in a relationship isn’t a kink as much as it is a “non conventional” relationship. Yes, absolutely this. I am consistenly astonished by how vanilla Fab is. This isn't a criticism, by they way; kinkiness isn't an arms race. a dating site is just and excuse to get fuck and chucks What dating sites are people having this experience on? Asking for a friend. This has the usual hallmarks you see on other Alt sites. When people move into a kink, and become more and more involved they become condescending about those who do not share their flavour or the extent to which they do it. They consolidate their identity by defining others who are not part of their set, and Vanilla is the usual (derogatory) term. Those same people have often lost sight of the fact that their vanilla is actually most non-Alt peoples idea of kink. Kink is defined by the straight it deviates from. As mentioned earlier, in terms of swinging, sharing a partner challenges far more people in their perception than a single person who engages in the exact same activity. It is not a competition but your defining others is seeking to make it as such. As a coda. Next time you have vanilla (the real stuff), try looking up how expensive, labour intensive and desireable a product it STILL is...
I do not consider "vanilla" to be derogatory. I certainly do not use it as such.
Kinky stuff is valid.
Vanilla stuff is valid.
It's not a competition. It's not an arms race. I do both as a given partner desires.
If "vanilla" is considered too sensitive a term, is there a preferred one that people on here would find less upsetting?
Nice try. Use a term well very known in alt circles that you include yourself in, then say "Oh but *I* didn't mean it".
Most on here would accept that they are not in line with a chunk of society , so "kink" is fair to all. You may not do what others do but there is no hierarchy of more or less, so seeking a term that defines people on a that scale is by its very nature divisive. Tolerance is key. Why make the distinction at all.
I think you’re projecting you’re annoyance onto his words in order to paint them a certain way just because you got irked sometime earlier in the chat by what he said. Like you say just above, surely tolerance should be key
First off. In no way annoyed. Healthy discussion is always valuable to learn from.
In this case the use of the word vanilla is commonplace within some communities (not generally Fab or most dating sites) with broadly the same intent; always "the other" and value based, "I do X you do not, you are vanilla" or "the world is full of flavours and you chose vanilla". It is a loaded phrase, particularly used in BDSM to describe non/inexperienced players. The bit I picked up on was
"Yes, absolutely this. I am consistenly astonished by how vanilla Fab is. This isn't a criticism, by they way; kinkiness isn't an arms race."
- It is disingenous to use a phrase that is loaded with negative value judgement and then try and say ah but it's not. Other forumites picked up on it, so as a reading it would not seem unreasonable for me to do so also. For that same reason it is also unlikely to be projection, particularly as the thread link was not done by me but the second user.
You imply by the mock quoting of my phrase that I am intolerant.
Tolerance applies only insofar as it does not, by its silence, enable the suppression of one group over another. Sometimes people are wholly unaware of the impact of their language, or the shift in context that a different community response would read. Sometimes they know full well, and use a term publically and enjoy knowing others will not pick up on an insult. It happens. No idea in this case, but I point it out.
As to my personal preference. Home made vanilla ice cream, with madagascan pods, is one of the sweetest and best things I have ever made (and tasted). Vainilla (the original Portugeuse name) was based on the Latin for Vagina.
We could all do with a bit more Vainilla in our lives...
"You seem angry to be very honest or at least have some grievance at the very least. He just said that this place is way more vanilla than it might have seemed. It’s you that’s associating that with a negative not him. I see exactly where he’s coming from. I’d bet you that if non fab people found out you were on fab they’d think you were into every kink under the sun. It’s how people would think if they haven’t been exposed to this. In reality a lot of the sex which takes place through fab wouldn’t be considered kinky but rather “normal” or “mainstream” except for the fact that it is with other people. This is what I believe him to have mean rather than to put it down. I love “vanilla” sex and some other kinks and I don’t put one down over the other. It depends on the connection and the mood. I honestly believe it’s you with the problem here and not the guy you’re getting bitter at | |||
"Looks like another thread lost it’s way..... Was this :- Kink vs Vanilla Or Fab vs Dating sites? " Fair point. Fab difference- the forums have a range of discussions you will not see on a dating site! | |||
