FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > When did you stop caring what people think of you ?
When did you stop caring what people think of you ?
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When I had to learn to take the stares and judgement of grown adults as a pregnant fifth former. There's nothing like a pregnant lass in school uniform to draw judgement, eh? I already had a thick skin, but that really cemented it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Early thirties. From a materialistic point of view
i no longer feel i need to keep up with the jones's as such. Realised i dont need a brand new range every two years, im happier driving classics and cars i dreamed about as a child. No longer own designer watches i suppose i dont feel like a need to impress like i did in my 20s.
From a personal level i still like to look my best and wouldnt leave the house without doing my hair ect but thats not to impress thats purely to feel good within myself.
I look how i used to be and find it cringey im down to earth now and do things for me, not to impress others.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And what was the catalyst ?"
Age, the older I get the less of a fuck I give tbh.
I don't need validation or approval from others either, likè wtf does it mean?
I just try to do my own thing, and not be too much of a twat. |
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When I was 18 and met my fwb and he opened my eyes to the abusive lies I had been fed everyday since I was small, I vowed that day to never ever let that happen again and the protection walls went up |
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I care what my friends and family think. Never really have cared what others think. I think its made my life better as ive never seeken any kind of validation from strangers or felt the need to try and be anything but me. Really couldnt give two hoots |
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I don't think I've ever really cared, especially about the opinions of all but a small handful of people that I care for...I guess I've always been someone who just plods along doing my own thing and realising that you can't please everyone all of the time. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Early thirties. From a materialistic point of view
i no longer feel i need to keep up with the jones's as such. Realised i dont need a brand new range every two years, im happier driving classics and cars i dreamed about as a child. No longer own designer watches i suppose i dont feel like a need to impress like i did in my 20s.
From a personal level i still like to look my best and wouldnt leave the house without doing my hair ect but thats not to impress thats purely to feel good within myself.
I look how i used to be and find it cringey im down to earth now and do things for me, not to impress others. "
Yeah, I get this, used to think I could only wear designer labels and only listened to alternative music in my 20’s, then you realise it’s all bullshit, nobody really cares what you’re doing cause everybody’s consumed with their own thing. I couldn’t give less of a fuck what car I drive now, it just makes me laugh all this Machismo about driving the right car, it’s bollocks. |
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I care what people I care about think of me, I also care if my boss and colleagues think I'm doing a good job. The opinion of those on fab, yeah it may get to me a bit but doesn't take long to dust myself off and give my head a wobble and carry on. |
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You mean we are supposed to stop caring?
Damn why so late in life did I find this out......
I guess I am always going to care from a personal protection point of view and the fact I am a people pleaser, calm down, as in I try to make people happy even if it is to the detriment of myself  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When did I stop...I never did, actually. Part of me always wonders about what negative thoughts other might have (because let's face it, we all worry about that and never consider the positive things people might think about us). But with time, I've learnt to give less importance to it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Early thirties. From a materialistic point of view
i no longer feel i need to keep up with the jones's as such. Realised i dont need a brand new range every two years, im happier driving classics and cars i dreamed about as a child. No longer own designer watches i suppose i dont feel like a need to impress like i did in my 20s.
From a personal level i still like to look my best and wouldnt leave the house without doing my hair ect but thats not to impress thats purely to feel good within myself.
I look how i used to be and find it cringey im down to earth now and do things for me, not to impress others.
Yeah, I get this, used to think I could only wear designer labels and only listened to alternative music in my 20’s, then you realise it’s all bullshit, nobody really cares what you’re doing cause everybody’s consumed with their own thing. I couldn’t give less of a fuck what car I drive now, it just makes me laugh all this Machismo about driving the right car, it’s bollocks."
Totally agree. Im very much a car guy its a massive passion for me not a brag or 'look at me' thing but the latest top end motor doesnt impress me, i mean fair play if they can afford it good on them. but that mint condition classic turns my head its the car not the value that does it.
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
Age and experience have certainly been a factor. I will care what a select few people dear to me might think, but I would suppose that's natural.
Otherwise don't really care. I certainly won't alter my behaviour or dampen my views to improve my "standing" in people's eyes.
People respect you more for being genuine and firm in your behaviour and convictions.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think I care what some people think of me but it hasn’t stopped me doing things that I know have disappointed those I care what they think about me 
But strangers on here, nah, couldn’t give a shit which is why I don’t kiss arse and will say what I think. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And what was the catalyst ?
Age, the older I get the less of a fuck I give tbh.
I don't need validation or approval from others either, likè wtf does it mean?
I just try to do my own thing, and not be too much of a twat. "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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one thing i know for a fact.
when you punch someone nine times out of ten they deserve it.
and people respect you more because they now know you aint a fucking push over or taking any shit.
they are careful around you because they dont want to be next.
you get most respect through fear than love.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just over three years ago. A guy I see sometimes helped me to realise that even being a BBW, I was sexy, desirable, gorgeous and wanted for the person I am on the inside and outside.
I know I'm like Marmite, but that's good. I don't want to be liked by everyone. |
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"one thing i know for a fact.
when you punch someone nine times out of ten they deserve it.
and people respect you more because they now know you aint a fucking push over or taking any shit.
they are careful around you because they dont want to be next.
you get most respect through fear than love.
"
what a load of bollocks they just think your a violent thug with anger issues |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
10pm last Thursday. I’d just finished off a cheesecake. My hair was unwashed and a bit knotty and I’d dribbled coffee down myself.
Then I logged on Fab and eased my way through 1236578 messages telling me they wanted me NOW!
I thought to myself “Margaret, you really need to stop worrying about what folk think of you, and get a bib”.
And I logged off and I lived happily ever after.
Or did I? *cue Tales of the Unexpected music*
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I have always been happy being me.
Only the opinions of those close to me are important.
Though my work has to some extent historically meant I had to adhere to a "corporate look" that's no longer the case  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"one thing i know for a fact.
when you punch someone nine times out of ten they deserve it.
and people respect you more because they now know you aint a fucking push over or taking any shit.
they are careful around you because they dont want to be next.
you get most respect through fear than love.
what a load of bollocks they just think your a violent thug with anger issues"
no im not.
people can be horrible bullies and the prey on people who they think will do nothing.
this happens in the workplace and in life.
if at work you complain you are seen as a grass and you will only get silent treatment or even more bullying.
if you make a stand and demonstrate you can and will do something about it they will move on to another target and leave you alone because they know they will be dealt with.
its nothing to so with angry issues. its everything to do with standing your ground and not taking others peoples abusive behaviour. and the only thing bullies know is when they are hurting.
most of the time people lash out because they have had enough and that is usually something which has built up over time and its boiled over.
you can tell someone to back off and leave you alone but they wont. they will keep coming back and back because they like it.
so give them what they want. |
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By *ndrew CareyMan
over a year ago
Peterborough, Cambridgeshire & Lincolnshire |
I only care about particular 2 groups of people;
1. Family members
2. Colleagues (professional environment)
Apart from those, I do not invest too much time worrying about other people think about me.
I treat everyone with decency and respect, except they do not deserve it. |
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By *yrdsisWoman
over a year ago
Gleam Street |
When I was made to wear my Nana's raincoat to school one day.. mortified.
Pal on the school bus ..10 year old boy;
"Are you dry and warm? Then who cares?"
Never forgotten that moment... or him for being so awesome.
Haven't looked back since. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When I was made to wear my Nana's raincoat to school one day.. mortified.
Pal on the school bus ..10 year old boy;
"Are you dry and warm? Then who cares?"
Never forgotten that moment... or him for being so awesome.
Haven't looked back since."
I love that!!! What a guy.  |
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"When I was made to wear my Nana's raincoat to school one day.. mortified.
Pal on the school bus ..10 year old boy;
"Are you dry and warm? Then who cares?"
Never forgotten that moment... or him for being so awesome.
Haven't looked back since."
I had a few moments like those but they took awhile to absorb. Reforming people pleaser. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"10pm last Thursday. I’d just finished off a cheesecake. My hair was unwashed and a bit knotty and I’d dribbled coffee down myself.
Then I logged on Fab and eased my way through 1236578 messages telling me they wanted me NOW!
I thought to myself “Margaret, you really need to stop worrying about what folk think of you, and get a bib”.
And I logged off and I lived happily ever after.
Or did I? *cue Tales of the Unexpected music*
"
|
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"one thing i know for a fact.
when you punch someone nine times out of ten they deserve it.
and people respect you more because they now know you aint a fucking push over or taking any shit.
they are careful around you because they dont want to be next.
you get most respect through fear than love.
"
Thus is the attitude of a bully.
I hate bullies and do not respect anyone who believes violence is necessary.
Violence is only ever acceptable if it's to protect a vulnerable person who would otherwise be harmed or in self defence. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I stopped caring about people’s opinions when I became more independent and self-assured. I no longer feel the need to live up to other people’s approval or standards. I know who I am and what I believe in and the opinions of others are not so relevant anymore. Of course I still have some feelings for others and some concern about how they feel about me. It's not a competition anymore. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I care to a degree. I’m actually a bit worried about doing this book because I’m gonna put a lot of my own experiences in it and it’s having to talk about sexual stuff. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I care to a degree. I’m actually a bit worried about doing this book because I’m gonna put a lot of my own experiences in it and it’s having to talk about sexual stuff. "
You should mention your book more! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I care to a degree. I’m actually a bit worried about doing this book because I’m gonna put a lot of my own experiences in it and it’s having to talk about sexual stuff.
You should mention your book more! "
I agree. The more promotion for my chapter the better! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I care to a degree. I’m actually a bit worried about doing this book because I’m gonna put a lot of my own experiences in it and it’s having to talk about sexual stuff.
You should mention your book more!
I agree. The more promotion for my chapter the better!"
I thought my paragraph was harsh, I say paragraph it was more a sentence, I say sentence, she mentioned a non specific bloke and I thought, hey that could be me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Family , close friends. Even friends who I’ve never met through fab , but chat to regularly and have a connection.... it’s all about connections really. I don’t really care too much for people who I don’t know? Hope that doesn’t sound too harsh ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I care to a degree. I’m actually a bit worried about doing this book because I’m gonna put a lot of my own experiences in it and it’s having to talk about sexual stuff.
You should mention your book more!
I agree. The more promotion for my chapter the better!
I thought my paragraph was harsh, I say paragraph it was more a sentence, I say sentence, she mentioned a non specific bloke and I thought, hey that could be me. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have actually given thanks to the fabulous men and women from my forums for allowing me to pick their brains.
So that’s everyones sneaky nod in my acknowledgements! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Family , close friends. Even friends who I’ve never met through fab , but chat to regularly and have a connection.... it’s all about connections really. I don’t really care too much for people who I don’t know? Hope that doesn’t sound too harsh ? "
Don’t do social media I might add |
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I don’t really care what other people think, I’ve got broad shoulders for a woman and I can carry peoples opinions of me on them, I know my own faults so it’s not like anyone can hurt me for calling me bossy or a straight talker (not in a hurtful way tho). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have actually given thanks to the fabulous men and women from my forums for allowing me to pick their brains.
So that’s everyones sneaky nod in my acknowledgements!"
You’d have a field day with me then |
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By *abonWoman
over a year ago
L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham |
When I prioritised my intuition. It came first when I became a mum...I just knew how I wanted to be as a parent. I was able to stand up for my choices and my children because I could feel what felt right. And that’s grown to include myself now. I know what’s right for me too. And when you have that knowing, it really doesn’t matter what other people think of your choices anymore! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It comes and goes. Sometimes I give no fucks, other times I can be a little sensitive and care too much. That said, I never change just to please others. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was 19 had just moved out of the family home wicked job awesome girlfriend at the time and life I mean adult life was looking great then came the day I lost everything 3 says before I hit 20 firstly I find out my gf was cheating on me which destroyed me went in to work to then be I'm being made redundant and then was booted out of my flat because my own father told my land lord that I was dealing stuff had everything in the morning and lost it all by 9 |
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"10pm last Thursday. I’d just finished off a cheesecake. My hair was unwashed and a bit knotty and I’d dribbled coffee down myself.
Then I logged on Fab and eased my way through 1236578 messages telling me they wanted me NOW!
I thought to myself “Margaret, you really need to stop worrying about what folk think of you, and get a bib”.
And I logged off and I lived happily ever after.
Or did I? *cue Tales of the Unexpected music*
"
Love this
Signed
Fellow bib wearer x |
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"Unfortunately I still do care. As a people pleaser it’s a hard habit to break, even to my own detriment x "
I get that.
My give a toss has shattered fairly dramatically, but I know exactly what you mean. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A major meltdown due to my childhood past hit me 3 years ago...since then nothing else matters and certainly no ones opinions or judgements...
I get it. Solidarity."
Hey hope your self discovery is going ok, not giving you too many issues. X |
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"A major meltdown due to my childhood past hit me 3 years ago...since then nothing else matters and certainly no ones opinions or judgements...
I get it. Solidarity.
Hey hope your self discovery is going ok, not giving you too many issues. X"
Yeah, for any given definition of not too many issues Thank you |
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I've never cared about what people think of me as much as some do even when I was a kid. I care very much about what my loved ones think of me but they know me pretty well so I'm unlikely to do anything that would change their opinion of me. I'm not horribly unkind or nasty so I assume that other people are going to like me or not based on other factors over which I have no control. I always take care to present myself well as far as appearance is concerned some people judge that negatively some positively but I do it out of respect for myself and the people who have to look at me. |
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Yeah right. 
