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Alpha male or just rude?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Is there a difference between being an alpha male and being arrogant and disrespectful towards anyone you think is below you?

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By *izandpaulCouple  over a year ago

merseyside


"Is there a difference between being an alpha male and being arrogant and disrespectful towards anyone you think is below you?"

If I was at a club or party and a guy came up an introduced himself "hi,I'm Dave and I'm an alpha male" would be similar to "hi,I'm Dave and I'm a born leader".

I would probably think Dave was neither an alpha male or a born leader, probably a dreamer.

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By *awk90Man  over a year ago

Amsterdam

"Alpha male" is such a stupid term, in my opinion. If someone calls themselves an "alpha", they're already a bit of an arrogant twat in my book

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Real alpha males command respect not demand respect they are true leaders when needed by both actions and words nobody respects a knobhead personaly im more rogue than leader so i can happily be a prick from time to time

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Is there a difference between being an alpha male and being arrogant and disrespectful towards anyone you think is below you?

If I was at a club or party and a guy came up an introduced himself "hi,I'm Dave and I'm an alpha male" would be similar to "hi,I'm Dave and I'm a born leader".

I would probably think Dave was neither an alpha male or a born leader, probably a dreamer.

"

Does Dave work in sales? I think I know him

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


""Alpha male" is such a stupid term, in my opinion. If someone calls themselves an "alpha", they're already a bit of an arrogant twat in my book"

What about 'bull'?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Or maybe the 'alpha'/'beta' distinctions are myths when it pertains to humans. If anyone uses these terms in general and outside of particular circumstances I think it makes them seem one-dimensional.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Honestly, I associate the term 'Alpha male' with abuser - just because in real life, the only men I have heard use it have used it to justify abusive behaviour.

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I think the terms are crap.

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By *etite_delightWoman  over a year ago

BunnyLand

It reminds me of cavemen, wakes up in the morning and go for a hunt

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Is there a difference between being an alpha male and being arrogant and disrespectful towards anyone you think is below you?"

Yes there is.

Society needs alpha people or nothing would get done. Arrogance and disrespect are a world away from the qualities required to be alpha.

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By *ollycouple71Couple  over a year ago

manchester


""Alpha male" is such a stupid term, in my opinion. If someone calls themselves an "alpha", they're already a bit of an arrogant twat in my book"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


""Alpha male" is such a stupid term, in my opinion. If someone calls themselves an "alpha", they're already a bit of an arrogant twat in my book"

Agreed x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I've been a leader of men often into combat I wouldn't class myself as a alpha male just someone who leads I've know some who have said they where alpha males and to be honest they couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery

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By *emorefridaCouple  over a year ago

La la land

Yes of course there are people of all genders who are a force of nature I'd put it. They exude a confidence in their abilities without a need to advertise it.

The word alpha to me reminds me of pack mentality such as wolves or dogs. Suggesting a reliance on your gang to be an alpha.

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By *acey_RedWoman  over a year ago

Liverpool


"Or maybe the 'alpha'/'beta' distinctions are myths when it pertains to humans. If anyone uses these terms in general and outside of particular circumstances I think it makes them seem one-dimensional."

This!

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By *lovebustyladiesMan  over a year ago

Birmingham

So reading this so far when I see a lady asking to meet a Alpha Male they really want to meet a twat lol

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By *ent in BlackMan  over a year ago

Silsden


""Alpha male" is such a stupid term, in my opinion. If someone calls themselves an "alpha", they're already a bit of an arrogant twat in my book"

This kinda nails it no one is really above anyone else.

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By *ocusMan  over a year ago

Cambridge


"Or maybe the 'alpha'/'beta' distinctions are myths when it pertains to humans. If anyone uses these terms in general and outside of particular circumstances I think it makes them seem one-dimensional."

Also a myth when applied to wolves. This was determined by the person that actually coined the phrase “alpha” with regards to wolf packs.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If someone needs to call themselves an alpha then they most definitely are not one!

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"So reading this so far when I see a lady asking to meet a Alpha Male they really want to meet a twat lol"

No, they want a confident man with certain qualities. Men who have those qualities don't generally describe themselves as alpha. I think really its just shorthand used to describe a certain type of man.

We need an alpha person of any gender to lead the country at the moment. For me that means someone who is confident and has the ability to gain trust among other things

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By *ex HolesMan  over a year ago

Up North

Any twat identifying as an alpha seriously need to give their head a wobble

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Yes of course there are people of all genders who are a force of nature I'd put it. They exude a confidence in their abilities without a need to advertise it.

The word alpha to me reminds me of pack mentality such as wolves or dogs. Suggesting a reliance on your gang to be an alpha. "

God, so much.

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By *andybeachWoman  over a year ago

In the middle

There are some guys who exude an air of “command” if you will, they don’t need to announce it to the world, if you are telling me you have it ..well fella you really don’t

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By *stbury DavenportMan  over a year ago

Nottingham


"Or maybe the 'alpha'/'beta' distinctions are myths when it pertains to humans. If anyone uses these terms in general and outside of particular circumstances I think it makes them seem one-dimensional.

Also a myth when applied to wolves. This was determined by the person that actually coined the phrase “alpha” with regards to wolf packs."

Came here to say exactly this. L David Mech introduced the idea of the "alpha" in his 1970 book The Wolf: Ecology and Behavior of an Endangered Species, then realised he was wrong and rejected it in his 1999 paper Alpha Status, Dominance, and Division of Laborin Wolf Packs.

The problem is that he can't get the publishers to stop putting the inaccurate old book out.

See this article for a summary and links: https://www.iflscience.com/editors-blog/theres-no-such-thing-as-an-alpha-male/

So no, "alpha males" do not exist, and yes, it does generally seem to be term used for and by the sort of person we shouldn't want anything to do with.

I'm sure that makes me a "beta cuck" or whatever in their eyes. Oh, what a personal tragedy.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"Any twat identifying as an alpha seriously need to give their head a wobble"

This, what Mr M said

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Or maybe the 'alpha'/'beta' distinctions are myths when it pertains to humans. If anyone uses these terms in general and outside of particular circumstances I think it makes them seem one-dimensional.

Also a myth when applied to wolves. This was determined by the person that actually coined the phrase “alpha” with regards to wolf packs.

Came here to say exactly this. L David Mech introduced the idea of the "alpha" in his 1970 book The Wolf: Ecology and Behavior of an Endangered Species, then realised he was wrong and rejected it in his 1999 paper Alpha Status, Dominance, and Division of Laborin Wolf Packs.

The problem is that he can't get the publishers to stop putting the inaccurate old book out.

See this article for a summary and links: https://www.iflscience.com/editors-blog/theres-no-such-thing-as-an-alpha-male/

So no, "alpha males" do not exist, and yes, it does generally seem to be term used for and by the sort of person we shouldn't want anything to do with.

I'm sure that makes me a "beta cuck" or whatever in their eyes. Oh, what a personal tragedy. "

It's taken off in the eyes of the lazy and the stupid.

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By *izandpaulCouple  over a year ago

merseyside


"Is there a difference between being an alpha male and being arrogant and disrespectful towards anyone you think is below you?

If I was at a club or party and a guy came up an introduced himself "hi,I'm Dave and I'm an alpha male" would be similar to "hi,I'm Dave and I'm a born leader".

I would probably think Dave was neither an alpha male or a born leader, probably a dreamer.

Does Dave work in sales? I think I know him"

Absolutely not.

Dave is an alpha leader and as such never has to work.

Stunned women throw cash at him, or that's what he told me.

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By *acey_RedWoman  over a year ago

Liverpool


"There are some guys who exude an air of “command” if you will, they don’t need to announce it to the world, if you are telling me you have it ..well fella you really don’t "

This is very true. My first Dom was like this. He just had to slightly raise an eyebrow at me and I'd behave. Not many people can easily tame my mischieviousness. He wasn't the type to try to dominate just anyone though. Certainly not in day to day life. He was successful and confident but respectful. People who are really confident in their abilities don't feel the need to be domineering in places like the workplace.

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By *izandpaulCouple  over a year ago

merseyside


"So reading this so far when I see a lady asking to meet a Alpha Male they really want to meet a twat lol"

Probably or they are as delusional.

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By *octor DeleriumMan  over a year ago

Bristol


"I would probably think Dave was neither an alpha male or a born leader, probably a dreamer.

"

I wouldn't be so polite; Dave is coming across as a twat.

He falls into the same category as complete strangers who call you 'mate'.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"

He falls into the same category as complete strangers who call you 'mate'."

So many people do this!!!! I hate it

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If someone needs to call themselves an alpha then they most definitely are not one! "

Exactly this.

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By *orenzoVonMatterhornMan  over a year ago

Lincoln

The only effect that the "alpha" descriptor has on me is making my eyes roll so far back in to my skull that I can see my brain stem It's not a thing, a dominant personality maybe, but generally those who describe themselves as alpha are just self absorbed dickheads.

I'll put my soap box away now.

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By *elle xWoman  over a year ago

Doire Theas

Good luck trying to tell me what to do

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By *orenzoVonMatterhornMan  over a year ago

Lincoln


"Good luck trying to tell me what to do "

Cake?

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By *elle xWoman  over a year ago

Doire Theas


"Good luck trying to tell me what to do

Cake? "

Only if you feed me it from that angle

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By *heRazorsEdgeMan  over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK


"Good luck trying to tell me what to do "

To be honest I think it would be a fun game to try!..

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By *orenzoVonMatterhornMan  over a year ago

Lincoln


"Good luck trying to tell me what to do

Cake?

Only if you feed me it from that angle "

Might be tricky to balance it, best keep your mouth open

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By *elle xWoman  over a year ago

Doire Theas


"Good luck trying to tell me what to do

Cake?

Only if you feed me it from that angle

Might be tricky to balance it, best keep your mouth open "

Ohh I will

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"Good luck trying to tell me what to do

Cake?

Only if you feed me it from that angle

Might be tricky to balance it, best keep your mouth open

Ohh I will "

Careful you don't ch0ke at that angle

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By *elle xWoman  over a year ago

Doire Theas


"Good luck trying to tell me what to do

To be honest I think it would be a fun game to try!.."

It probably will just tell me the opposite of what you want

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By *elle xWoman  over a year ago

Doire Theas


"Good luck trying to tell me what to do

Cake?

Only if you feed me it from that angle

Might be tricky to balance it, best keep your mouth open

Ohh I will

Careful you don't ch0ke at that angle "

Might need something to wash it down with

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"Good luck trying to tell me what to do

Cake?

Only if you feed me it from that angle

Might be tricky to balance it, best keep your mouth open

Ohh I will

Careful you don't ch0ke at that angle

Might need something to wash it down with "

Pineapple juice?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The only effect that the "alpha" descriptor has on me is making my eyes roll so far back in to my skull that I can see my brain stem It's not a thing, a dominant personality maybe, but generally those who describe themselves as alpha are just self absorbed dickheads.

I'll put my soap box away now."

Nicely put LVM

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By *uxley7777Man  over a year ago

wrexham


"If someone needs to call themselves an alpha then they most definitely are not one! "

This

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I've always been a firm believer in the "Don't tell someone you drive an Aston Martin, just offer then a ride home" approach to confidence. Essentially confidence comes from within and if you know your abilities (and maybe more importantly limits!), you don't need to brag. M

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've been a leader of men often into combat I wouldn't class myself as a alpha male just someone who leads I've know some who have said they where alpha males and to be honest they couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery "

True being both combat vets. It was the silent yet respectful leaders that handled tough situations better then the Gung ho type alpha leaders.They had better analytical thought process and better situational awareness.

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By *orenzoVonMatterhornMan  over a year ago

Lincoln


"Good luck trying to tell me what to do

Cake?

Only if you feed me it from that angle

Might be tricky to balance it, best keep your mouth open

Ohh I will

Careful you don't ch0ke at that angle

Might need something to wash it down with

Pineapple juice? "

I'm sure I can get some of that

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"Good luck trying to tell me what to do

Cake?

Only if you feed me it from that angle

Might be tricky to balance it, best keep your mouth open

Ohh I will

Careful you don't ch0ke at that angle

Might need something to wash it down with

Pineapple juice?

I'm sure I can get some of that "

I think it was for Belle, but these eyes are looking up and wondering if there's enough for two

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Is there a difference between being an alpha male and being arrogant and disrespectful towards anyone you think is below you?"

A wide open question.

Being alpha has nothing to do with disrespect and arrogance. More leadership, organisation and community.

Disrespect and arrogance are simply that. You could title someone the fairy dust distributor, but they can still have those personality traits.

Anyone can call themselves anything, the term alpha in this day is quite outdated and as others have said above, the necessity to self label yourself as such I suspect speaks very much to the opposite or a wannabe persona.

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By *dam1971Man  over a year ago

Bedford

Confidence is an attractive quality of course but you’d have to have a complete lack of empathy to those around you to label yourself an alpha male.

People like that generally have a chapter in anniewilkes‘ book

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By *icknHMan  over a year ago

Ilfracombe

Take a look at gorillas. Plenty of ladies and men in a pack.......but the one who commands most respect gets to be the alpha male and gets all the girls and first dibs at the best foods.

Oh, and he has to do all the fighting for the rest of the pack. Bummer eh !

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Take a look at gorillas. Plenty of ladies and men in a pack.......but the one who commands most respect gets to be the alpha male and gets all the girls and first dibs at the best foods.

Oh, and he has to do all the fighting for the rest of the pack. Bummer eh !"

Quite some time ago a guy described me as the alpha female of the fora. I think he was trying to say I'm a monkey

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The best example of an alpha male I have is gibbs from ncis. Quiet, calm, confident no need to shout about abilities. Oh Leroy.....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Alpha males are a myth.

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By *evil with the haloWoman  over a year ago

Crystal Peaks


"Is there a difference between being an alpha male and being arrogant and disrespectful towards anyone you think is below you?"

wow you have to ask?

A rude person is a rude person and more often than not isn't an alpha. A real alpha is confident to the point he is chilled he is relaxed in his own skin and doesn't need to be arrogant and strut. What you are on about is a beta male who can't hack it and gets frustrated.

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By *wistedTooCouple  over a year ago

Frimley


"Is there a difference between being an alpha male and being arrogant and disrespectful towards anyone you think is below you?"

If anyone thinks someone is below them they aren’t an alpha male, but a complete dick.

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By *wistedTooCouple  over a year ago

Frimley


"Alpha males are a myth."

100%

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I don't think a true alpha would announce it.

I am quite a domme woman, very very few I would submit to, but some men just give an air of dominance when they enter a room and you can see born leaders a mile off. Most are not arrogant, but charming

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By *tephTV67TV/TS  over a year ago

Cheshire

I’ve met what I’d call ‘alpha males’ most of them in the services.

If you’ve seen Apocalypse Now, the Major Kilgore Character reminds me of one of them (in the film, he says one of the stand out lines ‘I love the smell of napalm in the morning’) but he was a natural soldier, who commanded a lot of respect from us as we knew he could do more than we could.

If he’d run crying from the enemy I’d have lost all my motivation, as he stood out as a natural leader, with a hell of a lot of courage.

That didn’t mean the rest of us (kids at the time) saw ourselves as beta males next to him or other soldiers like him, they just excelled at their jobs. I should add he was a short guy as well, smaller than me and I’m 5’7.

What guys like him didn’t do is beat their chests I suspect like all those who truly are comfortable in their own skins and specialists in their own areas. They knew, you knew so had no need to push it down your throat or make you feel less of a man.

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By *evil with the haloWoman  over a year ago

Crystal Peaks


"I don't think a true alpha would announce it.

I am quite a domme woman, very very few I would submit to, but some men just give an air of dominance when they enter a room and you can see born leaders a mile off. Most are not arrogant, but charming "

I have to agree real ones are confident assured and don't need to jump up and down about it as its natural to them.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If you was describing someone you could use the term alpha..but to describe yourself as alpha is arrogant. Like when men describe themselves to us as bulls etc....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Anyone can be a Alpha in any given situation. So the thought of someone thinking they are is just a narcissist plain and simple.

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By *abioMan  over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

Labels are for other people..... if you have to give yourself a moniker that says more about you.....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Labels are for other people..... if you have to give yourself a moniker that says more about you....."

100%

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By *evil with the haloWoman  over a year ago

Crystal Peaks


"Anyone can be a Alpha in any given situation. So the thought of someone thinking they are is just a narcissist plain and simple."

That's not true though not at all not everyone can be as for men who are true alphas they don't think they are are are not one its irrelevant to them but others see it in them. You are talking like a jealous beta male if I am honest.

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By *orenzoVonMatterhornMan  over a year ago

Lincoln

All this alpha and beta talk is bringing the cringe

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By *evil with the haloWoman  over a year ago

Crystal Peaks


"All this alpha and beta talk is bringing the cringe "

Its ok you beta keep out of it then.

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By *orenzoVonMatterhornMan  over a year ago

Lincoln


"All this alpha and beta talk is bringing the cringe

Its ok you beta keep out of it then. "

I'll have you know I'm a lambda

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Absolutely there is a difference. Many who read my profile and message me don’t seem to think there is though

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Treat every one with the same equal respect that you would like to be treated with

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Anyone can be a Alpha in any given situation. So the thought of someone thinking they are is just a narcissist plain and simple.

That's not true though not at all not everyone can be as for men who are true alphas they don't think they are are are not one its irrelevant to them but others see it in them. You are talking like a jealous beta male if I am honest. "

I am a woman combat vet spent 10 years in the army.Nice of you to assume I am a male. Leadership is situational it is the individual fortitude that steps up in a crisis that deserves respect.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Sorry everyone it just drives me nuts when you label yourself a Alpha male. When I seen women out preform some of them. I guess it is just my take on real life situations.

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By *essie.Woman  over a year ago

Serendipity

Never understood the need for anyone to say they’re an alpha. Usually they are knobs!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

one of the funniest and stupidest 'alpha' male syndrome stuff comes from the arsehole right wing types like alex jones infowars etc

If you've been called a 'soy boy' it's because they believed some quack claimed soy was turning men into women because of it's estrogen.

quite funny when alex jones was/is selling dietary supplements that clearly contain...SOY!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

I think I've hit a nerve!

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By *abioMan  over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"Anyone can be a Alpha in any given situation. So the thought of someone thinking they are is just a narcissist plain and simple.

That's not true though not at all not everyone can be as for men who are true alphas they don't think they are are are not one its irrelevant to them but others see it in them. You are talking like a jealous beta male if I am honest.

I am a woman combat vet spent 10 years in the army.Nice of you to assume I am a male. Leadership is situational it is the individual fortitude that steps up in a crisis that deserves respect."

At this point I now have to say thank you for your service........

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By *stbury DavenportMan  over a year ago

Nottingham

One person's "born leader" is another's obvious psychopath.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Alphas are not necessarily leaders or noble beings, or brave and command respect. They are simply survivors, and as such can be nice or nasty, although the ultimate survivor has to have the ability to be nasty.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Anyone can be a Alpha in any given situation. So the thought of someone thinking they are is just a narcissist plain and simple.

That's not true though not at all not everyone can be as for men who are true alphas they don't think they are are are not one its irrelevant to them but others see it in them. You are talking like a jealous beta male if I am honest.

I am a woman combat vet spent 10 years in the army.Nice of you to assume I am a male. Leadership is situational it is the individual fortitude that steps up in a crisis that deserves respect.

At this point I now have to say thank you for your service........ "

Thank you Fabio

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


""Alpha male" is such a stupid term, in my opinion. If someone calls themselves an "alpha", they're already a bit of an arrogant twat in my book"

This

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"one of the funniest and stupidest 'alpha' male syndrome stuff comes from the arsehole right wing types like alex jones infowars etc

If you've been called a 'soy boy' it's because they believed some quack claimed soy was turning men into women because of it's estrogen.

quite funny when alex jones was/is selling dietary supplements that clearly contain...SOY!

"

Men can't read......

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By *ensualMan  over a year ago

Sutton


"Anyone can be a Alpha in any given situation. So the thought of someone thinking they are is just a narcissist plain and simple.

That's not true though not at all not everyone can be as for men who are true alphas they don't think they are are are not one its irrelevant to them but others see it in them. You are talking like a jealous beta male if I am honest.

I am a woman combat vet spent 10 years in the army.Nice of you to assume I am a male. Leadership is situational it is the individual fortitude that steps up in a crisis that deserves respect."

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"one of the funniest and stupidest 'alpha' male syndrome stuff comes from the arsehole right wing types like alex jones infowars etc

If you've been called a 'soy boy' it's because they believed some quack claimed soy was turning men into women because of it's estrogen.

quite funny when alex jones was/is selling dietary supplements that clearly contain...SOY!

"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

There is no such thing as an alpha male, anymore... Just men who think they are

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Is there a difference between being an alpha male and being arrogant and disrespectful towards anyone you think is below you?"

Yes there is.

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By *ensualMan  over a year ago

Sutton

As reported in regard to the person who created the term "Alpha".

In his research on chimpanzee behavior, "alpha male" was a term that has layers of nuance to it, and not just a general-purpose term for men who bully, intimidate and even harass their way to the top.

"I am actually partly responsible for the term alpha male because I wrote this book 'Chimpanzee Politics,' which was recommended by Newt Gingrich to freshmen congressmen," de Waal began, as quoted by the Business Insider.

In fact, Alpha Males in the original sense of the term turned out to be more in touch with their sensitive side than what is now commonly thought. The same goes for the reverse — just because a man can overwhelm his peers does not mean he's an Alpha, either.

"Someone who is big and strong and intimidates and insults everyone is not necessarily an alpha male," de Waal explained, adding that the Alpha chimps in his original study got to the top by also being good at winning over the pack with displays of kindness and love."

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Alpha = incel

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By *izandpaulCouple  over a year ago

merseyside


"I would probably think Dave was neither an alpha male or a born leader, probably a dreamer.

I wouldn't be so polite; Dave is coming across as a twat.

He falls into the same category as complete strangers who call you 'mate'."

Or babe, hunny, sweetheart, darling.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Is there a difference between being an alpha male and being arrogant and disrespectful towards anyone you think is below you?"

Personally l've always thought that guys that think they are Alpha are usually on a self inflated ego trip but hey..what the fuck do l know ...

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By *atricia ParnelWoman  over a year ago

In a town full of colours


"There are some guys who exude an air of “command” if you will, they don’t need to announce it to the world, if you are telling me you have it ..well fella you really don’t "

Love people watching men and women with this, you can see how people naturally react to their subconscious personality as they go about their buisness

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