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Kink Importance
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By *rouble1998Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
Considering where I am in my life now, it would be fairly important.
I wouldnt be willing to give up swinging for a monogamous relationship at the moment, also not sure if i’d be happy in a strictly vanilla set up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me it would be important, I’ve hidden it for far too long from too many partners for fear of ridicule or whatever.
Got to be true to yourself, I would 100% walk away now if I shared and it wasn’t accepted |
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"Considering where I am in my life now, it would be fairly important.
I wouldnt be willing to give up swinging for a monogamous relationship at the moment, also not sure if i’d be happy in a strictly vanilla set up "
That is a good place to know you are in |
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"For me it would be important, I’ve hidden it for far too long from too many partners for fear of ridicule or whatever.
Got to be true to yourself, I would 100% walk away now if I shared and it wasn’t accepted "
That is a very mature outlook |
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"My dream to find a long term kink relationship  "
I had a seduction encounter this evening, non kink me was yesssssss I want to go to the next step, but my want of kink said nooooooooo so I walked away, but the what if's lasted longer than they normally would on the way home  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well my gf and I met through Fab, so our relationship started through kinks! We took a step back when Covid started, but now we're stronger than ever and exploring new kinks together. I love that we both have pretty much no limits and will try anything together, but she does tell me I've been going soft on her with the hard bdsm since we both said the L word!  |
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I had this very dilemma earlier this year and walked away. Being true to yourself is critical for your long-term health and sanity! A relationship with total openness and non judgement for whatever our kinks are is my search now.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not sure I could walk away from this lifestyle now..... Don't think a vanilla relationship would be enough and I'd always be wishing for something more which would never work and ultimately end in tears! It's a tricky choice though! x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My dream to find a long term kink relationship
I had a seduction encounter this evening, non kink me was yesssssss I want to go to the next step, but my want of kink said nooooooooo so I walked away, but the what if's lasted longer than they normally would on the way home "
All connections are hard to resist.. But you just know that non-kink relationships are likely to be short term  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s our connection, bond and fact that we both compliment each other that allows us to enjoy the non Vanilla lifestyle with including others.
The kink and need to explore is what brought us together and it was apparent very quickly just how we both had found who and what we were looking for. Just keeps getting better 
You never know who is about to walk into your life so yes kink is a very important factor
|
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By *Jones19Man
over a year ago
Evesham, Worcester, Pershore |
"How important is your kink to you in relation to a potential new real life date/relationship
If they were not happy to indulge would you walk away from them or your kinks
"
I feel at the moment I wouldn't want to give up my kink(s). They are a part of me and my personality to a certain degree. If I was to meet someone tomorrow but they weren't into similar things, id more than likely turn them down. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me it would be important, I’ve hidden it for far too long from too many partners for fear of ridicule or whatever.
Got to be true to yourself, I would 100% walk away now if I shared and it wasn’t accepted
That is a very mature outlook"
It’s one borne out of years of frustration and trying to please others before myself just for an easy quiet life |
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"My dream to find a long term kink relationship
I had a seduction encounter this evening, non kink me was yesssssss I want to go to the next step, but my want of kink said nooooooooo so I walked away, but the what if's lasted longer than they normally would on the way home "
Could you not have both or do you feel your kink is stronger and require it with each meet?
|
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I've been on the scene for 20 years, so I've done/seen everything that I want to, and there's not any of it that I wouldn't walk away from for the right person. It's fun, including the partner swapping side, but I could live without it as long as the sex in the relationship was fun and plentiful. |
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"Interesting question. I've learned so much about myself and explored kinks together with Mr. If we were ever to split, I don't know what I would consider essential in a new partner!
Mrs TMN x"
That is an interesting question to ask yourself |
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It's an important part of who I am, but all relationships have their compromises.
I think I would have to have a relationship with someone who was kink minded. But I don't think there's any particular kink someone would have to enjoy in order for me to have a relationship with them |
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"Well my gf and I met through Fab, so our relationship started through kinks! We took a step back when Covid started, but now we're stronger than ever and exploring new kinks together. I love that we both have pretty much no limits and will try anything together, but she does tell me I've been going soft on her with the hard bdsm since we both said the L word! "
Sooo cute 
All of my partners are from fab so I know they are kink tolerant already |
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"I had this very dilemma earlier this year and walked away. Being true to yourself is critical for your long-term health and sanity! A relationship with total openness and non judgement for whatever our kinks are is my search now. "
Good luck in your search |
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"I'm not sure I could walk away from this lifestyle now..... Don't think a vanilla relationship would be enough and I'd always be wishing for something more which would never work and ultimately end in tears! It's a tricky choice though! x"
You are right there x |
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After burying my needs and fetishes for over 20 years in a crappy marriage I'm now very open about my love of bdsm, latex, heels etc and live in hope of finding a partner I click with who is into the same or similar. |
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By *omin8rMan
over a year ago
In A Playspace |
"How important is your kink to you in relation to a potential new real life date/relationship
If they were not happy to indulge would you walk away from them or your kinks
"
Walk away from kinks |
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"My dream to find a long term kink relationship
I had a seduction encounter this evening, non kink me was yesssssss I want to go to the next step, but my want of kink said nooooooooo so I walked away, but the what if's lasted longer than they normally would on the way home
All connections are hard to resist.. But you just know that non-kink relationships are likely to be short term "
I never normally second guess myself, but this has pushed a button I didn't known I had, something I need to meditate on I think |
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"It’s our connection, bond and fact that we both compliment each other that allows us to enjoy the non Vanilla lifestyle with including others.
The kink and need to explore is what brought us together and it was apparent very quickly just how we both had found who and what we were looking for. Just keeps getting better
You never know who is about to walk into your life so yes kink is a very important factor
"
Very wise words |
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"How important is your kink to you in relation to a potential new real life date/relationship
If they were not happy to indulge would you walk away from them or your kinks
I feel at the moment I wouldn't want to give up my kink(s). They are a part of me and my personality to a certain degree. If I was to meet someone tomorrow but they weren't into similar things, id more than likely turn them down. "
Thats a good place to be |
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I had 2 vanilla relationships between ex hubby & T. When I say vanilla I mean mainly missionary, nothing more adventurous than doggy. No sexy toys, blindfolds or handcuffs. I’m still not sure why I stayed with them as long as I did - it was really boring 
J x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My dream to find a long term kink relationship
I had a seduction encounter this evening, non kink me was yesssssss I want to go to the next step, but my want of kink said nooooooooo so I walked away, but the what if's lasted longer than they normally would on the way home
All connections are hard to resist.. But you just know that non-kink relationships are likely to be short term
I never normally second guess myself, but this has pushed a button I didn't known I had, something I need to meditate on I think "
Sounds like it might be worth exploring further |
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By *nooshWoman
over a year ago
Leeds |
To me, the kinks are part of a good sex life. I can't get into vanilla sex in the same way, just feel like I'm going through the motions.
And I seriously wonder if I could manage monogamy again! |
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Right now I'm not sure I can afford to be that choosy
But there's a lot of lost self esteem and identity mixed in with that too, so I don't think either a vanilla, monogamous relationship or even the perfect kink one would sit well right now |
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"My dream to find a long term kink relationship
I had a seduction encounter this evening, non kink me was yesssssss I want to go to the next step, but my want of kink said nooooooooo so I walked away, but the what if's lasted longer than they normally would on the way home
Could you not have both or do you feel your kink is stronger and require it with each meet?
"
No I don't need a kink with every meet, I am just not happy to hide it from him hence why I walked, the splash of natural chemistry has unnerved me as that doesn't happen very often x |
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"I've been on the scene for 20 years, so I've done/seen everything that I want to, and there's not any of it that I wouldn't walk away from for the right person. It's fun, including the partner swapping side, but I could live without it as long as the sex in the relationship was fun and plentiful. "
Thats a good point |
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"It's an important part of who I am, but all relationships have their compromises.
I think I would have to have a relationship with someone who was kink minded. But I don't think there's any particular kink someone would have to enjoy in order for me to have a relationship with them "
That's good food for thoughts |
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"After burying my needs and fetishes for over 20 years in a crappy marriage I'm now very open about my love of bdsm, latex, heels etc and live in hope of finding a partner I click with who is into the same or similar."
Good luck |
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"How important is your kink to you in relation to a potential new real life date/relationship
If they were not happy to indulge would you walk away from them or your kinks
Walk away from kinks"
Very decisive |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Being in a relationship where my partner loves kink is very important to me. The additional level of connection afforded by kinky play is essential to my being. Also, I find a love of kink correlates well with an extra openness to exploring in all aspects of life.
I would leave the relationship if the other person was not interested in kinky exploration—-have already left one relationship for that very reason.
 |
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"I had 2 vanilla relationships between ex hubby & T. When I say vanilla I mean mainly missionary, nothing more adventurous than doggy. No sexy toys, blindfolds or handcuffs. I’m still not sure why I stayed with them as long as I did - it was really boring
J x"
That really is vanilla
I would walk too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How important is your kink to you in relation to a potential new real life date/relationship
If they were not happy to indulge would you walk away from them or your kinks
"
Mine is quite important to me, for reasons I will not disclose in an open forum.
If people don't like it, then thats their issue, not mine |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
Kink allowed me to rediscover who I am, after years of trying to fit in and be “normal”.
I do not think I could give it up for anyone, but its all about communication, negotiation and consent after all. |
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"My dream to find a long term kink relationship
I had a seduction encounter this evening, non kink me was yesssssss I want to go to the next step, but my want of kink said nooooooooo so I walked away, but the what if's lasted longer than they normally would on the way home
All connections are hard to resist.. But you just know that non-kink relationships are likely to be short term
I never normally second guess myself, but this has pushed a button I didn't known I had, something I need to meditate on I think
Sounds like it might be worth exploring further "
I agree x |
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"I would walk away from them probably. I'm submissive in nature, if they are not even remotely more dominant then I don't see a relationship working  "
I think that's extremely important as its your nature rather than a put down kink, you would be denying your true self |
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"To me, the kinks are part of a good sex life. I can't get into vanilla sex in the same way, just feel like I'm going through the motions.
And I seriously wonder if I could manage monogamy again!"
Thats an interesting question to ask yourself
Thats my ultimate never going to give up, I realised I was poly when I was 18 so thats a part of my being. The other kinks have evolved over my fab life so I guess I'm questioning how important are they to me really |
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"Right now I'm not sure I can afford to be that choosy
But there's a lot of lost self esteem and identity mixed in with that too, so I don't think either a vanilla, monogamous relationship or even the perfect kink one would sit well right now "
You have been through a awful lot though so tbh that answer makes sense for you right now x |
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"Being in a relationship where my partner loves kink is very important to me. The additional level of connection afforded by kinky play is essential to my being. Also, I find a love of kink correlates well with an extra openness to exploring in all aspects of life.
I would leave the relationship if the other person was not interested in kinky exploration—-have already left one relationship for that very reason.
"
|
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"How important is your kink to you in relation to a potential new real life date/relationship
If they were not happy to indulge would you walk away from them or your kinks
Mine is quite important to me, for reasons I will not disclose in an open forum.
If people don't like it, then thats their issue, not mine "
That is true, To have yourself solidly supporting your kink is important to your wellbeing in my eyes |
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"Kink allowed me to rediscover who I am, after years of trying to fit in and be “normal”.
I do not think I could give it up for anyone, but its all about communication, negotiation and consent after all."
That is very true |
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By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
"I would walk away from them probably. I'm submissive in nature, if they are not even remotely more dominant then I don't see a relationship working
I think that's extremely important as its your nature rather than a put down kink, you would be denying your true self"
Thats exactly how I see it but I have spoken to a lot of guys that just don't understand it and think it's odd or just for the bedroom. Can be quite hard to explain sometimes |
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"My dream to find a long term kink relationship
I had a seduction encounter this evening, non kink me was yesssssss I want to go to the next step, but my want of kink said nooooooooo so I walked away, but the what if's lasted longer than they normally would on the way home
Could you not have both or do you feel your kink is stronger and require it with each meet?
No I don't need a kink with every meet, I am just not happy to hide it from him hence why I walked, the splash of natural chemistry has unnerved me as that doesn't happen very often x"
It’s true it rarely happens, why not see what happens, you never know he might like your kink and could be an alternative to the seduction and further exploration |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm not sure I have a specific kink I couldnt live without, its more the freedom of talking about everything and anything with an open mind, and the willingness to explore and experiment I would want. |
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"How important is your kink to you in relation to a potential new real life date/relationship
If they were not happy to indulge would you walk away from them or your kinks
"
What you mean by our kinks? If you mean this non-monogamous lifestyle, then yes I (Luke) would give it up like a shot for Hannah if that's what she wanted.
As for my personal kink, it's something no partner of mine has ever objected to in private (except my ex-wife - grr). It's not something people outside a relationship of mine have been interested in very often anyway, but I have been able to indulge with a group in the past. Group opportunities don't come along very often like they used to so it wouldn't be a great loss. |
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"I had 2 vanilla relationships between ex hubby & T. When I say vanilla I mean mainly missionary, nothing more adventurous than doggy. No sexy toys, blindfolds or handcuffs. I’m still not sure why I stayed with them as long as I did - it was really boring
J x
That really is vanilla
I would walk too"
I can see they were crutches at the time. Joining here was the best thing I ever did!! I found myself & then I found T!!! He gives me what I need |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How important is your kink to you in relation to a potential new real life date/relationship
If they were not happy to indulge would you walk away from them or your kinks
"
For a meet then its up there for a relationship shit its not that important at all a relationship is about connection its about interaction its about something special between you and them. |
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Kink is something definitely important to me. At the end of the day to all of us here sex is something important to us and something we value otherwise we wouldn't be here. Therefore if we need something to make that better it should be important in a relationship dynamic |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
"Kink allowed me to rediscover who I am, after years of trying to fit in and be “normal”.
I do not think I could give it up for anyone, but its all about communication, negotiation and consent after all."
I think the problem lies with how vanilla people in general view kink and kink relationships.
A lot of vanilla people see kink (a word that covers a world of different activities and circumstances) as role-playing or something aligned to having sex. This is why many in the BDSM community draw a line between themselves and the swinging community. For many who describe themselves as "kinky" is a state of being and a part of themselves and not necessarily sexual. It may be something that needs to be discovered or uncovered but once the kink comes to the surface, it is finding a missing part of a puzzle.
A kink relationship is like any other relationship, a good relationship is where you both get on with each other but both can express themselves. Either together or in a spirit of understanding where one partner let's the other explore that part of themselves.
So for me it would be essential. |
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"I would walk away from them probably. I'm submissive in nature, if they are not even remotely more dominant then I don't see a relationship working
I think that's extremely important as its your nature rather than a put down kink, you would be denying your true self
Thats exactly how I see it but I have spoken to a lot of guys that just don't understand it and think it's odd or just for the bedroom. Can be quite hard to explain sometimes "
I wouldn't have said they were natural dominants, you will find the one who just knows im sure |
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"My dream to find a long term kink relationship
I had a seduction encounter this evening, non kink me was yesssssss I want to go to the next step, but my want of kink said nooooooooo so I walked away, but the what if's lasted longer than they normally would on the way home
Could you not have both or do you feel your kink is stronger and require it with each meet?
No I don't need a kink with every meet, I am just not happy to hide it from him hence why I walked, the splash of natural chemistry has unnerved me as that doesn't happen very often x
It’s true it rarely happens, why not see what happens, you never know he might like your kink and could be an alternative to the seduction and further exploration "
Its a definite no for him, they are extensions of my sensual tantric play (which he is happy to play with) the rest is a step too far, hence the importance considerations I need to find within myself |
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"I'm not sure I have a specific kink I couldnt live without, its more the freedom of talking about everything and anything with an open mind, and the willingness to explore and experiment I would want. "
That shows a good compromise |
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"How important is your kink to you in relation to a potential new real life date/relationship
If they were not happy to indulge would you walk away from them or your kinks
What you mean by our kinks? If you mean this non-monogamous lifestyle, then yes I (Luke) would give it up like a shot for Hannah if that's what she wanted.
As for my personal kink, it's something no partner of mine has ever objected to in private (except my ex-wife - grr). It's not something people outside a relationship of mine have been interested in very often anyway, but I have been able to indulge with a group in the past. Group opportunities don't come along very often like they used to so it wouldn't be a great loss. "
I mean anything which is non vanilla, so essentially your fab life disclosed to a new partner, not Hannah as she is on your journey in a committed relationship x
|
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"How important is your kink to you in relation to a potential new real life date/relationship
If they were not happy to indulge would you walk away from them or your kinks
For a meet then its up there for a relationship shit its not that important at all a relationship is about connection its about interaction its about something special between you and them. "
|
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"Kink is something definitely important to me. At the end of the day to all of us here sex is something important to us and something we value otherwise we wouldn't be here. Therefore if we need something to make that better it should be important in a relationship dynamic "
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"Kink allowed me to rediscover who I am, after years of trying to fit in and be “normal”.
I do not think I could give it up for anyone, but its all about communication, negotiation and consent after all.
I think the problem lies with how vanilla people in general view kink and kink relationships.
A lot of vanilla people see kink (a word that covers a world of different activities and circumstances) as role-playing or something aligned to having sex. This is why many in the BDSM community draw a line between themselves and the swinging community. For many who describe themselves as "kinky" is a state of being and a part of themselves and not necessarily sexual. It may be something that needs to be discovered or uncovered but once the kink comes to the surface, it is finding a missing part of a puzzle.
A kink relationship is like any other relationship, a good relationship is where you both get on with each other but both can express themselves. Either together or in a spirit of understanding where one partner let's the other explore that part of themselves.
So for me it would be essential."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think my biggest consideration now would be an open relationship. I'm not sure I could go back to one single person again. So kink wise, different people satisfy different needs for me anyway. |
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"I think my biggest consideration now would be an open relationship. I'm not sure I could go back to one single person again. So kink wise, different people satisfy different needs for me anyway. "
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