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Flowers on a first Meet

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

I normally try to walk with flowers on a first meet.

So women if a guy brings you flowers on a first meet, what would be your opinion of him (and yes I welcome all opinions even if you think the guy might be trying to overcompensate in other areas if you know what I mean)

Just want a broad spectrum of answers, much thanks.

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By *ersnickety PantsWoman  over a year ago

Club Meets Only

One guy I met for lunch (met once prior in the club) met me with a dozen roses although a nice thought it really kinda put me off him. Far too much for me

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'd find it rather strange and a wee bit out dated

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By *rincess peachWoman  over a year ago

shits creek

I'd like it. It's rare I get flowers.

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By *luebell888Woman  over a year ago

Glasgowish

No necessary and would make me feel uncomfortable.

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By *hav02Man  over a year ago

Glasgow/London

Buying flowers on a first date has never worked in my favour.

Too cliché and unthoughtful.

I prefer being random

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By *latinumkittenWoman  over a year ago

from Home Counties to Middle Earth

On a date, yes

Meeting a regular FB, maybe

First Fab meet? that feels wierd

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I’d say sweet for the thought x

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

On Fab I'd find it incredibly weird

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By *a LunaWoman  over a year ago

South Wales

I don’t like cut flowers.

A bar of galaxy would do me. Or a bottle of Lambrini.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

On a fucking Fab meet, I’m done

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By *rednwilma1Couple  over a year ago

york


"I don’t like cut flowers.

A bar of galaxy would do me. Or a bottle of Lambrini. "

My type of gal !!!!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Id be a bit worried about them. Would you bring a vase of water incase of droop.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Thanks for the honest answers, I'm a bit of an old school romantic at times so I love flowers on a first date and I guess I just extended it to fab meets as well. I've never got a complaint, most women are just a bit shocked tbh. But again maybe it's a difference in culture. I used to do the same back home (in the Caribbean where I'm from) and even when I knew the person was coming over to have sex.

For me personally I'd love to walk with a bottle of Prosecco, 2 glasses and some flowers, we chat and then let things flow from there (yes I know I'm weird lol)

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By *ily WhiteWoman  over a year ago

?

On a first meet? I'd find that really strange.

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Thanks for the honest answers, I'm a bit of an old school romantic at times so I love flowers on a first date and I guess I just extended it to fab meets as well. I've never got a complaint, most women are just a bit shocked tbh. But again maybe it's a difference in culture. I used to do the same back home (in the Caribbean where I'm from) and even when I knew the person was coming over to have sex.

For me personally I'd love to walk with a bottle of Prosecco, 2 glasses and some flowers, we chat and then let things flow from there (yes I know I'm weird lol)"

To me flowers or gifts in general are a romantic gesture. That's not what I'm doing on Fab.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I’d be embarrassed and wouldn’t like it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

No I'd feel a right numpty giving flowers to someone I'd never met before

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By *ed VoluptaWoman  over a year ago

Wirral.

2nd meet, yes. Bring it on. And chocolates

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By *dam1971Man  over a year ago

Bedford


"I don’t like cut flowers.

A bar of galaxy would do me. Or a bottle of Lambrini. "

Would the bar of Galaxy be for sharing? Or does that depend on how well the bloke does on the meet?

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By *andyfloss2000Woman  over a year ago

ashford

Lovely gesture x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I have never been given flowers on a first meet and in all honesty I do not expect gifts, therefore I think it may make me feel a little concerned that the person is treating it as more than what it is. Eventhough that may not be his intention.

I am however all for someone bringing snacks and drinks to keep our energy levels up, and I have done this too.

Her x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I wish someone would bring me gifts even if it is one flower x

Nobody has ever brought me flowers X

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By *a LunaWoman  over a year ago

South Wales


"I don’t like cut flowers.

A bar of galaxy would do me. Or a bottle of Lambrini.

Would the bar of Galaxy be for sharing? Or does that depend on how well the bloke does on the meet? "

Depends on how big the bar was

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By *dam1971Man  over a year ago

Bedford


"I don’t like cut flowers.

A bar of galaxy would do me. Or a bottle of Lambrini.

Would the bar of Galaxy be for sharing? Or does that depend on how well the bloke does on the meet?

Depends on how big the bar was "

I’ll make sure it’s one that needs two people to lift

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

From someone i know well, wonderful

Although i usually get apology flowers

From a Fab meet? A bit creepy

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By *hunky GentMan  over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Does flower shaped chocolate count?

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By *a LunaWoman  over a year ago

South Wales


"I don’t like cut flowers.

A bar of galaxy would do me. Or a bottle of Lambrini.

Would the bar of Galaxy be for sharing? Or does that depend on how well the bloke does on the meet?

Depends on how big the bar was

I’ll make sure it’s one that needs two people to lift "

Now if you could just do that with the bottle of Lambrini as well....

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By *dam1971Man  over a year ago

Bedford


"From someone i know well, wonderful

Although i usually get apology flowers

From a Fab meet? A bit creepy"

Sex food is nice though

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I've had this happen. It was really weird and I never met him again.

I don't fuck for gifts.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"From someone i know well, wonderful

Although i usually get apology flowers

From a Fab meet? A bit creepy

Sex food is nice though "

Post coitus snacks are always going to be known as sex food now

I like that

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By *imon_hydeMan  over a year ago

Stockport

I wouldn't do it on a first date never mind a first meet. Each to their own though.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

makes you look like some deranged stalker

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I’d like a new car.

Now that’s a gift

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

J gave me roses on our first meet.

I thought it was lovely! I accidentally left them in his car when he took me home so next time I saw him, he brought more

First time for a fab meet but who doesn't love flowers?

I haven't had any since then I don't think tho...its only been 5 years

Lu

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’d like a new car.

Now that’s a gift "

christ thats upping it just a bit

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Thanks for the honest answers, I'm a bit of an old school romantic at times so I love flowers on a first date and I guess I just extended it to fab meets as well. I've never got a complaint, most women are just a bit shocked tbh. But again maybe it's a difference in culture. I used to do the same back home (in the Caribbean where I'm from) and even when I knew the person was coming over to have sex.

For me personally I'd love to walk with a bottle of Prosecco, 2 glasses and some flowers, we chat and then let things flow from there (yes I know I'm weird lol)"

If a man bought me Prosecco, I would know that I'd made a terrible mistake

Cos he wouldnt be my type at all

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think it's sweet and would like it

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I read that someone turned up for a first time meeting in a coffee shop with a bin bag full of sex toys

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By *erms and conditionsCouple  over a year ago

Alton

Wine... Wine is less intense

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Too much for me...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’d like a new car.

Now that’s a gift

christ thats upping it just a bit "

Trust me; I’m worth it

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I read that someone turned up for a first time meeting in a coffee shop with a bin bag full of sex toys "

That would make me laugh

Then I'd run

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By *hunky GentMan  over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough


"I’d like a new car.

Now that’s a gift "

Matchbox or airfix?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’d like a new car.

Now that’s a gift

Matchbox or airfix? "

Ah. Liking the lateral thinking

#cheapskate

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By *opsy RogersWoman  over a year ago

London


"On Fab I'd find it incredibly weird"

Weird and creepy creepy creepy.

Besides that, it shows me the mindset of the giver towards women and a complete lack of awareness of my preferences.

Flowers belong growing, not intensely farmed to then die in a vase on a table.

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By *hunky GentMan  over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough


"I’d like a new car.

Now that’s a gift

Matchbox or airfix?

Ah. Liking the lateral thinking

#cheapskate "

At least would be new and not second hand.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"On Fab I'd find it incredibly weird

Weird and creepy creepy creepy.

Besides that, it shows me the mindset of the giver towards women and a complete lack of awareness of my preferences.

Flowers belong growing, not intensely farmed to then die in a vase on a table."

So that’s a maybe then.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Would find it a bit weird, honestly. I associate flowers with romantic gestures and that's not what I am looking for on Fab. I'd worry that he was expecting it to be something more than a NSA hookup.

A bottle of wine would also be awkward as I don't drink alcohol...

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By *andybeachWoman  over a year ago

In the middle


"On a fucking Fab meet, I’m done "

Could you bring me a pasty instead please

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’d like a new car.

Now that’s a gift

Matchbox or airfix?

Ah. Liking the lateral thinking

#cheapskate

At least would be new and not second hand. "

I don’t mind second hand.... a nice s line BMW Z4 perhaps

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By *nabelle21Woman  over a year ago

B38

I was given a book on a meet. We had previously messaged a fair bit, so kinda knew each other for the book being given not to be creepy.

But..I was once given a thank you card and a flower on the way for a social/meet and that was a bit much I thought!

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By *ransistersTV/TS  over a year ago

Dover

Yes love fresh flowers, shows they are thoughtful.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman  over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

I would be pleased that he made the effort. It's a very nice gesture.

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By *hunky GentMan  over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough


"I was given a book on a meet. We had previously messaged a fair bit, so kinda knew each other for the book being given not to be creepy.

But..I was once given a thank you card and a flower on the way for a social/meet and that was a bit much I thought!"

What about a kebab?

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By *opsy RogersWoman  over a year ago

London


"Thanks for the honest answers, I'm a bit of an old school romantic at times so I love flowers on a first date and I guess I just extended it to fab meets as well. I've never got a complaint, most women are just a bit shocked tbh. But again maybe it's a difference in culture. I used to do the same back home (in the Caribbean where I'm from) and even when I knew the person was coming over to have sex.

For me personally I'd love to walk with a bottle of Prosecco, 2 glasses and some flowers, we chat and then let things flow from there (yes I know I'm weird lol)"

You've had a good reception when offering because nobody would be horrible about it.

Women also spend their lives checking their reactions, behaviours and dialogue on a subconscious and intuitive level to protect themselves from retaliation.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Enjoying the wide range of responses thus far, much thanks again for all who have contributed to this discussion.

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By *irginieWoman  over a year ago

Near Marlborough

I’d be conflicted. I don’t like cut flowers generally (for lots of reasons). But it would be with the best intentions. I’d accept through gritted teeth but wouldn’t appreciate the assumption that just because we are women we like flowers.

I’d rather someone ask me if they can bring anything with them, I’d generally say no, but maybe wine if they were coming round for a drink.

V x

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Thanks for the honest answers, I'm a bit of an old school romantic at times so I love flowers on a first date and I guess I just extended it to fab meets as well. I've never got a complaint, most women are just a bit shocked tbh. But again maybe it's a difference in culture. I used to do the same back home (in the Caribbean where I'm from) and even when I knew the person was coming over to have sex.

For me personally I'd love to walk with a bottle of Prosecco, 2 glasses and some flowers, we chat and then let things flow from there (yes I know I'm weird lol)

You've had a good reception when offering because nobody would be horrible about it.

Women also spend their lives checking their reactions, behaviours and dialogue on a subconscious and intuitive level to protect themselves from retaliation."

Isn't that the truth

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By *opsy RogersWoman  over a year ago

London


"Enjoying the wide range of responses thus far, much thanks again for all who have contributed to this discussion."

Have you actually learned anything though?

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By *opsy RogersWoman  over a year ago

London


"Thanks for the honest answers, I'm a bit of an old school romantic at times so I love flowers on a first date and I guess I just extended it to fab meets as well. I've never got a complaint, most women are just a bit shocked tbh. But again maybe it's a difference in culture. I used to do the same back home (in the Caribbean where I'm from) and even when I knew the person was coming over to have sex.

For me personally I'd love to walk with a bottle of Prosecco, 2 glasses and some flowers, we chat and then let things flow from there (yes I know I'm weird lol)

You've had a good reception when offering because nobody would be horrible about it.

Women also spend their lives checking their reactions, behaviours and dialogue on a subconscious and intuitive level to protect themselves from retaliation.

Isn't that the truth"

But you demonstrate here and in most of your other posts that you don't understand that.

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By *osineCouple  over a year ago

Weston-Super-Mare


"I wish someone would bring me gifts even if it is one flower x

Nobody has ever brought me flowers X"

Awww, that just makes me want to buy you a gift.

xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I remember some woman on here said a bloke gave her a framed photo of himself on their first meet

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was given a book on a meet. We had previously messaged a fair bit, so kinda knew each other for the book being given not to be creepy.

But..I was once given a thank you card and a flower on the way for a social/meet and that was a bit much I thought!"

I don't find your book example weird at all. Sounds like the start of a friendship after virtual chatting.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think I’d find it very sweet. It’s a nice gesture and thoughtful. X

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By *nabelle21Woman  over a year ago

B38


"I was given a book on a meet. We had previously messaged a fair bit, so kinda knew each other for the book being given not to be creepy.

But..I was once given a thank you card and a flower on the way for a social/meet and that was a bit much I thought!

I don't find your book example weird at all. Sounds like the start of a friendship after virtual chatting. "

I was really touched by the book, it was a lovely gesture and pretty classy of him

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By *nabelle21Woman  over a year ago

B38


"I was given a book on a meet. We had previously messaged a fair bit, so kinda knew each other for the book being given not to be creepy.

But..I was once given a thank you card and a flower on the way for a social/meet and that was a bit much I thought!

What about a kebab? "

I don't like kebabs but I'll have curry sauce and chips

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Hmmm. Thinking I should have just accepted the affix kit or flowers

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By *B69Woman  over a year ago

Wiltshire

Not on a fab meet

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Thanks for the honest answers, I'm a bit of an old school romantic at times so I love flowers on a first date and I guess I just extended it to fab meets as well. I've never got a complaint, most women are just a bit shocked tbh. But again maybe it's a difference in culture. I used to do the same back home (in the Caribbean where I'm from) and even when I knew the person was coming over to have sex.

For me personally I'd love to walk with a bottle of Prosecco, 2 glasses and some flowers, we chat and then let things flow from there (yes I know I'm weird lol)

You've had a good reception when offering because nobody would be horrible about it.

Women also spend their lives checking their reactions, behaviours and dialogue on a subconscious and intuitive level to protect themselves from retaliation."

Heck yes.

I'd pretend to be grateful, because I have to, and find it incredibly weird.

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By *amie HantsWoman  over a year ago

Atlantis

I like it everyone is different though. I don’t think it’s creepy or weird.

Standing outside my window having wank would be weird and creepy

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By *andyfloss2000Woman  over a year ago

ashford


"I like it everyone is different though. I don’t think it’s creepy or weird.

Standing outside my window having wank would be weird and creepy "

That made me lol ! X

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I love it, such a sweet thought.

I've had 3 guys bring me flowers, and I've also turned up for meets with little gifts.

Its nice to be nice.

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By *irewolffMan  over a year ago

Dublin

Not for a fab meet...no.

Maybe on a normal date but tbh, I wouldnt feel very comfortable getting flowers on any 1st date.

MsD

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By *oxychicWoman  over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

I think it be nice i dont get flowers so I like it

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By *hrista BellendWoman  over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I only buy and receive gifts for/from my fwb

Dinner/breakfast doesn't count as a gift on a weekend away

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I like it everyone is different though. I don’t think it’s creepy or weird.

Standing outside my window having wank would be weird and creepy "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I like it everyone is different though. I don’t think it’s creepy or weird.

Standing outside my window having wank would be weird and creepy "

During the first lockdown, a guy actually said he'd like to do that

Pull up outside my house and wank while I watched him from the window

He was perfectly serious too

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By *opsy RogersWoman  over a year ago

London


"I love it, such a sweet thought.

I've had 3 guys bring me flowers, and I've also turned up for meets with little gifts.

Its nice to be nice. "

Let's hope he can see that all women are different and not just assume any stereotype he attributes to us is valid

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I love it, such a sweet thought.

I've had 3 guys bring me flowers, and I've also turned up for meets with little gifts.

Its nice to be nice.

Let's hope he can see that all women are different and not just assume any stereotype he attributes to us is valid "

Even with all these different responses,I'm sure we will just be branched into the same bracket anyways.

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By *uenevereWoman  over a year ago

Scunthorpe

For a romantic date, I rather like the idea of flowers.

Unfortunately, as a hayfever sufferer my sneezing is likely to ruin the romance.

Would be a bit uncomfortable with flowers on a Fab meet.

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By *andyMinx_tvTV/TS  over a year ago

Leeds

I've had flowers on a second Fab meet and it didn't make me feel uncomfortable.

I've had wine (even though they were driving) and chocolates on a first Fab meet. Is it persuasive? Ultimately, it still comes down to your connection with the person you are meeting as to how inclined you feel to meet again.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I was given a very expensive bottle of perfume once on a first meet and although it was a lovely gesture, I didn't want it. I definitely would not want any flowers on any meet, even from a long standing lover. It's a bit awkward.

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By *orthern StarsCouple  over a year ago

Durham

On a Fab meet no. On a 'proper' date, it's a nice touch. But I would probably prefer a sexy pair of knickers.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think flowers in a first fab meet is a bit over kill. If was was receiving flowers from a man I’d prefer he was someone who knows me well enough to choose flowers that I like. That’s only my humble opinion

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I like it everyone is different though. I don’t think it’s creepy or weird.

Standing outside my window having wank would be weird and creepy "

I said sorry!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

personally dont see anything wrong with it, its not like a marriage proposal

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I was given a book on a meet. We had previously messaged a fair bit, so kinda knew each other for the book being given not to be creepy.

But..I was once given a thank you card and a flower on the way for a social/meet and that was a bit much I thought!

I don't find your book example weird at all. Sounds like the start of a friendship after virtual chatting.

I was really touched by the book, it was a lovely gesture and pretty classy of him

"

Back in my country I used to almost always gift a woman with a copy of Paulo Coelho The Alchemist,not as a first date gift though but while dating. One of the most influential books I've ever read.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I like flowers. A small bunch would be nice but in no way at all necessary

You're gonna weird some women out, and make some smile. I hope you get the appreciative ones x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I don't like presents from people I don't really know... It can be hard enough to get me to accept a drink tbf

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By *irty PrettyWoman  over a year ago

Cardiff

I’d find it extremely weird to be given any kind of gift on a first meet - it’s not a date after all. I don’t even let men buy me drinks on socials anymore, there are too many men who think you owe them if they spend any money on you at all. So if a guy turned up to a meet with flowers or chocolates I’d be properly weirded out and wonder what he was after. If he turned up with a bottle of alcohol I’d assume he was trying to get me d*unk and the meet would be over immediately.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I have to agree with the points made upthread - when I was younger, I had a couple of men turn nasty when buying me dinner didn't result in sex and ever since then, I've been wary.

For me, a first meet is a chance to have a chat and see if there's any chemistry there. What if he turns up with flowers (or any other gift) and I don't fancy him? Do I take the flowers and say nothing in case he gets aggressive? Do I refuse the flowers and say, "Sorry but I don't fancy you?" It's a bit of a minefield.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I see it as a romantic gesture, a fab meet isn’t romantic so I’d find it a bit odd.

Actually, the only guy that has turned up with flowers for me on a date, turned out to be a fucking weirdo so I’d probably run a mile.

Even if a fb brought them, I’d wonder why. I much prefer a brew afterwards

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By *rouble1998Woman  over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

It would be a massive turn off for me. I really don’t like gift giving of any kind but that’s my personal preference. Also not sure how appropriate it would be in the context of a swinging meet?

In my eyes Fab isn’t really for dating

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By *hitehunter4bbcMan  over a year ago

Bristol

Flowers no ,coffee cake ,lub and a dildo maybe

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By *mooth Operator 07Man  over a year ago

in the deep mist of the valleys


"I wouldn't do it on a first date never mind a first meet. Each to their own though."

This

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I have to agree with the points made upthread - when I was younger, I had a couple of men turn nasty when buying me dinner didn't result in sex and ever since then, I've been wary.

For me, a first meet is a chance to have a chat and see if there's any chemistry there. What if he turns up with flowers (or any other gift) and I don't fancy him? Do I take the flowers and say nothing in case he gets aggressive? Do I refuse the flowers and say, "Sorry but I don't fancy you?" It's a bit of a minefield. "

To me personally it's about being kind to someone as you don't know if they had a rough day and a flowers from a stranger might be the way of sunshine they needed. It's not about expecting anything in return tbh it's just trying to put a little more kindness and compassion in a world that sorely needs it.

I've had first dates that didn't lead to second dates and that was ok, it wasn't meant to be, you be a man and move on, don't harp on it, not everyone is going to like you and I think it takes maturity (not necessarily age) for people to understand that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

I might also add that maybe British guys (and guys in general) have set the bar so low that women have come to take kindness and compassion as something to be suspicious of.

I think from the comments guys need to do a lot better and maybe then women will see these acts of kindness as what they are acts of kindness with no hidden agenda .

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It’s a nice thing to do if that is what you want to do...anyone that is given flowers on the first date should be happy . It’s a lovely gesture

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I like it everyone is different though. I don’t think it’s creepy or weird.

Standing outside my window having wank would be weird and creepy "

Not if you don't catch me it isn't.

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By *opsy RogersWoman  over a year ago

London


"I have to agree with the points made upthread - when I was younger, I had a couple of men turn nasty when buying me dinner didn't result in sex and ever since then, I've been wary.

For me, a first meet is a chance to have a chat and see if there's any chemistry there. What if he turns up with flowers (or any other gift) and I don't fancy him? Do I take the flowers and say nothing in case he gets aggressive? Do I refuse the flowers and say, "Sorry but I don't fancy you?" It's a bit of a minefield.

To me personally it's about being kind to someone as you don't know if they had a rough day and a flowers from a stranger might be the way of sunshine they needed. It's not about expecting anything in return tbh it's just trying to put a little more kindness and compassion in a world that sorely needs it.

I've had first dates that didn't lead to second dates and that was ok, it wasn't meant to be, you be a man and move on, don't harp on it, not everyone is going to like you and I think it takes maturity (not necessarily age) for people to understand that.

"

But this isn't about you and your intentions, it's about how it's recieved.

Many women here have told you their negative feelings towards receiving flowers yet you continue to insist it's a lovely gesture.

You've had examples of awful situations women have been placed in receiving a token gift yet you still haven't acknowledged it but turned it yet again into you banging your own drum.

Please, stop talking and start listening.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I might also add that maybe British guys (and guys in general) have set the bar so low that women have come to take kindness and compassion as something to be suspicious of.

I think from the comments guys need to do a lot better and maybe then women will see these acts of kindness as what they are acts of kindness with no hidden agenda ."

Are we talking 'dates' as in those leading to a romantic thing?

Or Fab meets?

Im a little confused

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I like it everyone is different though. I don’t think it’s creepy or weird.

Standing outside my window having wank would be weird and creepy "

Oh but that might just be how he shows affection

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By *urora1912Woman  over a year ago

Norfolk East anglia

Flowers is a lovely gesture if it's a date.

But a meet from fab would be a bit strange to me personally

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By *ransistersTV/TS  over a year ago

Dover

Jeez what's wrong with you ladies, a lovely gesture and it's full of goodwill hopefully.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Are fab meets actually bringing flowers ...as long as they’re printed on a bottle of wine then that’s fab

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By *iger4uWoman  over a year ago

In my happy place

One of my best meets, overnight in hotel.

Red roses and bubbly, dinner, breakfast, lift home.

I did buy some drinks but he wouldnt let me contribute.

Was a nice guy too.

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By *odgerNbadgerCouple  over a year ago

Chepstow

Date, maybe if thats the way the chat was going but tbh I'd be a bit wary. Feels a bit like lovebombing. On a fab meet, nope.

That said if we're visiting a regular couple we might bring flowers or a bottle but that's more a gesture of friendship than anything else

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I would only accept flowers on fab meet if it was my birthday that day.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I would only accept flowers on fab meet if it was my birthday that day."

Fair do's.

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By *opsy RogersWoman  over a year ago

London


"I might also add that maybe British guys (and guys in general) have set the bar so low that women have come to take kindness and compassion as something to be suspicious of.

I think from the comments guys need to do a lot better and maybe then women will see these acts of kindness as what they are acts of kindness with no hidden agenda ."

You simply have no idea, despite the comments and explanations and even agreeing with my earlier point that women live their lives checking themselves in case of negative reactions.

Where to sit on a bus or even sit at all was a common theme when I was a teenager for fear of being groped, girls and women are fair game and you only have to read the vast majority of messages sent treating us as free, disposable sex toys to know that giving flowers on a meet will put some in a very awkward and difficult situation.

I don't want cut flowers because they have been grown only for profit. If nothing else, how do I tell you that when they are in my hands, without seeming like an an ungrateful cow? If I don't tell you, you may end up buying more that I don't want.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I would only accept flowers on fab meet if it was my birthday that day.

Fair do's."

Otherwise it would be odd.

Chocolate on the other hand..

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By *odgerNbadgerCouple  over a year ago

Chepstow


"I might also add that maybe British guys (and guys in general) have set the bar so low that women have come to take kindness and compassion as something to be suspicious of.

I think from the comments guys need to do a lot better and maybe then women will see these acts of kindness as what they are acts of kindness with no hidden agenda .

You simply have no idea, despite the comments and explanations and even agreeing with my earlier point that women live their lives checking themselves in case of negative reactions.

Where to sit on a bus or even sit at all was a common theme when I was a teenager for fear of being groped, girls and women are fair game and you only have to read the vast majority of messages sent treating us as free, disposable sex toys to know that giving flowers on a meet will put some in a very awkward and difficult situation.

I don't want cut flowers because they have been grown only for profit. If nothing else, how do I tell you that when they are in my hands, without seeming like an an ungrateful cow? If I don't tell you, you may end up buying more that I don't want.

"

PREACH IT SISTER!

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By *opsy RogersWoman  over a year ago

London


"Jeez what's wrong with you ladies, a lovely gesture and it's full of goodwill hopefully. "

Many have explained why it's not a lovely gesture, please listen and stop negating the opinions.

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By *ittleRed18Woman  over a year ago

Aberdeen


"On a date, yes

Meeting a regular FB, maybe

First Fab meet? that feels wierd"

^^^^This^^^^

I feel it is also a romantic gesture. I would also maybe feel obliged to do more/extend the relationship even if it was just a social meet. Personally I think for some gift giving isn't charming and seen as being more of a manipulation technique. If you have a bond with someone, spending time together should be enough for them to want to be around you. Not gifts.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Jeez what's wrong with you ladies, a lovely gesture and it's full of goodwill hopefully. "

Except that most of the time it's NOT a gesture of goodwill - it's the man thinking, 'How can I increase the chances of getting this woman into bed?' And god forbid she accept the flowers and deny him sex because then she's a greedy money-grabbing cock tease.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Jeez what's wrong with you ladies, a lovely gesture and it's full of goodwill hopefully.

Except that most of the time it's NOT a gesture of goodwill - it's the man thinking, 'How can I increase the chances of getting this woman into bed?' And god forbid she accept the flowers and deny him sex because then she's a greedy money-grabbing cock tease. "

Well let’s face it the man may and can think that he may be getting something...but it’s always up to the women so just accept the flowers and then float away lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

No, hell no.. Flowers from hubby, yes.. Flowers fron a random Interneter? Too intimate. It's not what semi random fucks are about

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By *irty PrettyWoman  over a year ago

Cardiff


"I might also add that maybe British guys (and guys in general) have set the bar so low that women have come to take kindness and compassion as something to be suspicious of.

I think from the comments guys need to do a lot better and maybe then women will see these acts of kindness as what they are acts of kindness with no hidden agenda ."

Wow. You’ve got an entire thread full of women telling you (not for the first time) that they disagree with you, and your response is to blame other men and make out you’re superior? We’re all saying it’s weird or even creepy, maybe take that on board and stop making the women you meet uncomfortable?

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By *irty PrettyWoman  over a year ago

Cardiff


"

You simply have no idea, despite the comments and explanations and even agreeing with my earlier point that women live their lives checking themselves in case of negative reactions.

"

He was just paying lip service and trying to sound good. He’s shown repeatedly that he has no idea what life is like for women, and doesn’t really care.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I would only accept flowers on fab meet if it was my birthday that day.

Fair do's.

Otherwise it would be odd.

Chocolate on the other hand.. "

I'd give you a Mars Bar.

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By *opsy RogersWoman  over a year ago

London


"I might also add that maybe British guys (and guys in general) have set the bar so low that women have come to take kindness and compassion as something to be suspicious of.

I think from the comments guys need to do a lot better and maybe then women will see these acts of kindness as what they are acts of kindness with no hidden agenda .

Wow. You’ve got an entire thread full of women telling you (not for the first time) that they disagree with you, and your response is to blame other men and make out you’re superior? We’re all saying it’s weird or even creepy, maybe take that on board and stop making the women you meet uncomfortable?"

If he replies, I bet he will say (like he did earlier in this thread) that everyone he's given flowers to have been very happy about it. What he's ignoring is that behind that smile is possibly a woman feeling awkward, anxious and wondering what's expected of her.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I really don't like flowers at all .... I wouldn't be impressed, sorry

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By *irty PrettyWoman  over a year ago

Cardiff


"I might also add that maybe British guys (and guys in general) have set the bar so low that women have come to take kindness and compassion as something to be suspicious of.

I think from the comments guys need to do a lot better and maybe then women will see these acts of kindness as what they are acts of kindness with no hidden agenda .

Wow. You’ve got an entire thread full of women telling you (not for the first time) that they disagree with you, and your response is to blame other men and make out you’re superior? We’re all saying it’s weird or even creepy, maybe take that on board and stop making the women you meet uncomfortable?

If he replies, I bet he will say (like he did earlier in this thread) that everyone he's given flowers to have been very happy about it. What he's ignoring is that behind that smile is possibly a woman feeling awkward, anxious and wondering what's expected of her."

“Never had any complaints” - well no, because we never do complain, not when it could get us harmed.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I might also add that maybe British guys (and guys in general) have set the bar so low that women have come to take kindness and compassion as something to be suspicious of.

I think from the comments guys need to do a lot better and maybe then women will see these acts of kindness as what they are acts of kindness with no hidden agenda ."

Yeah if there were no creepy men expecting something in return for flowers etc it might be perceived as a kind gesture.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"

You simply have no idea, despite the comments and explanations and even agreeing with my earlier point that women live their lives checking themselves in case of negative reactions.

He was just paying lip service and trying to sound good. He’s shown repeatedly that he has no idea what life is like for women, and doesn’t really care."

It amazes me at times how ppl specifically look for something negative out of a positive.

I specifically outlined my reasons for bringing flowers, so much so as to say that to me ( I can't speak for every guy) for me it is about bringing a little joy into the life of another person.

I even said maybe guys need to check themselves and how they treat women so that women wouldn't have to feel uncomfortable around guys.

Yet some how in all of that you derive I don't care about what women think and I'm not a good person (it's insinuated not spelt out)

Geez lol, you people are incredible at times (and I mean forum ppl and some not all) btw I don't think all agreed with you even though I do concur you have a consensus.

But like I said to someone who inboxed now earlier and told me that lots of women do like flowers and it's a very kind gesture etc. To thine own self be true. I'm naturally a romantic guy and I don't ever try to make women feel uncomfortable or ppl in general.

My personal MO is always to try in some way to enrich the life of anyone who has met me and to bring or add something good to their life (man or woman)

It's why I personally try and hold my self to high standards while interacting with other people

Wishing you a pleasant evening btw

Anyways you're entitled to your views

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I might also add that maybe British guys (and guys in general) have set the bar so low that women have come to take kindness and compassion as something to be suspicious of.

I think from the comments guys need to do a lot better and maybe then women will see these acts of kindness as what they are acts of kindness with no hidden agenda ."

Ah yes, classic tactic, blame other men’s behaviour to make yourself look like a beacon of light amongst the gloom.

I wouldn’t be comfortable giving a woman I’d never met some flowers, I’d like feel like a total plum, you don’t have to make big gestures to be kind, it’s the little things that gets noticed, giving a woman flowers seems contrived and like you’d expect something in return.

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I love flowers but would find it a bit odd on a first meet. Maybe if I was feeling down or it was a special occasion it would be nice from a fwb as I’m generally very giving myself but not from someone I’m just getting to know

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I like the fact you want to bring a bit of joy to someones day. It may work better as a totally random thing by plunging them into the hands of a stranger as you stride on by or leave them on the till for the person behind type of gesture. You feel good for surprising someone, someone gets a bunch of flowers and no one has to have any awkward chats or feel obliged to shag anyone.

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By *irty PrettyWoman  over a year ago

Cardiff


"

You simply have no idea, despite the comments and explanations and even agreeing with my earlier point that women live their lives checking themselves in case of negative reactions.

He was just paying lip service and trying to sound good. He’s shown repeatedly that he has no idea what life is like for women, and doesn’t really care.

It amazes me at times how ppl specifically look for something negative out of a positive.

I specifically outlined my reasons for bringing flowers, so much so as to say that to me ( I can't speak for every guy) for me it is about bringing a little joy into the life of another person.

I even said maybe guys need to check themselves and how they treat women so that women wouldn't have to feel uncomfortable around guys.

Yet some how in all of that you derive I don't care about what women think and I'm not a good person (it's insinuated not spelt out)

Geez lol, you people are incredible at times (and I mean forum ppl and some not all) btw I don't think all agreed with you even though I do concur you have a consensus.

But like I said to someone who inboxed now earlier and told me that lots of women do like flowers and it's a very kind gesture etc. To thine own self be true. I'm naturally a romantic guy and I don't ever try to make women feel uncomfortable or ppl in general.

My personal MO is always to try in some way to enrich the life of anyone who has met me and to bring or add something good to their life (man or woman)

It's why I personally try and hold my self to high standards while interacting with other people

Wishing you a pleasant evening btw

Anyways you're entitled to your views"

But you obviously don’t care what women think, because when we tell you what we think, you tell us we’re wrong. You said earlier that when you give women flowers, they’re “shocked”. Shock is not a positive reaction. Most of them are probably doing a high speed risk assessment and deciding it’s safer to accept the flowers and the discomfort than try to refuse.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

OP can you clarify whether you are talking 'proper' dates or Fab meets?

Please?

Thanks champ

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By *irty PrettyWoman  over a year ago

Cardiff


"OP can you clarify whether you are talking 'proper' dates or Fab meets?

Please?

Thanks champ"

He said meets, so that’s why we’re all assuming Fab meets, but I’ve seen him say it on other threads as well that have made it pretty clear that it’s Fab meets he means.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think it's really sad the number of women who view flowers apprehensively because of past poor encounters. Don't tar everyone with the same brush, there is still beauty and kindness in the world. At the same time, I accept that Fab has a high quota of duffs- both male &female.

I guess you simply have to judge the individual based on your pre-meet interactions as to what may be pleasing or not

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"

But you obviously don’t care what women think, because when we tell you what we think, you tell us we’re wrong. You said earlier that when you give women flowers, they’re “shocked”. Shock is not a positive reaction. Most of them are probably doing a high speed risk assessment and deciding it’s safer to accept the flowers and the discomfort than try to refuse."

Yes.

Your intentions might be good, but if you want to know what we think, then accept the answer.

Some women don't like it, early on Fab, at all on Fab, or in other contexts.

Some women conceal their feelings for their own safety.

That is the reality.

The fact you've never had a negative reaction (openly or that you know of) doesn't change this.

Listen. Don't lecture.

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By *opsy RogersWoman  over a year ago

London


"

You simply have no idea, despite the comments and explanations and even agreeing with my earlier point that women live their lives checking themselves in case of negative reactions.

He was just paying lip service and trying to sound good. He’s shown repeatedly that he has no idea what life is like for women, and doesn’t really care.

It amazes me at times how ppl specifically look for something negative out of a positive.

I specifically outlined my reasons for bringing flowers, so much so as to say that to me ( I can't speak for every guy) for me it is about bringing a little joy into the life of another person.

I even said maybe guys need to check themselves and how they treat women so that women wouldn't have to feel uncomfortable around guys.

Yet some how in all of that you derive I don't care about what women think and I'm not a good person (it's insinuated not spelt out)

Geez lol, you people are incredible at times (and I mean forum ppl and some not all) btw I don't think all agreed with you even though I do concur you have a consensus.

But like I said to someone who inboxed now earlier and told me that lots of women do like flowers and it's a very kind gesture etc. To thine own self be true. I'm naturally a romantic guy and I don't ever try to make women feel uncomfortable or ppl in general.

My personal MO is always to try in some way to enrich the life of anyone who has met me and to bring or add something good to their life (man or woman)

It's why I personally try and hold my self to high standards while interacting with other people

Wishing you a pleasant evening btw

Anyways you're entitled to your views"

I wish I'd put a bet on that reply!

The irony is OP, you've stated that if men didn't have hidden agendas when gift giving, women would be able to accept the gesture with comfort and yet your insistence that you are right puts you right into the category of a man to be wary of.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I might also add that maybe British guys (and guys in general) have set the bar so low that women have come to take kindness and compassion as something to be suspicious of.

I think from the comments guys need to do a lot better and maybe then women will see these acts of kindness as what they are acts of kindness with no hidden agenda .

Wow. You’ve got an entire thread full of women telling you (not for the first time) that they disagree with you, and your response is to blame other men and make out you’re superior? We’re all saying it’s weird or even creepy, maybe take that on board and stop making the women you meet uncomfortable?

If he replies, I bet he will say (like he did earlier in this thread) that everyone he's given flowers to have been very happy about it. What he's ignoring is that behind that smile is possibly a woman feeling awkward, anxious and wondering what's expected of her."

While I'll agree that not every woman likes flowers or romantic gestures etc at least understand the point of what I'm saying.

I don't do because I want a woman to put out. Like others have said on this thread, it's a sex meet so you're probably going to get some if you don't be obnoxious or unkind to the person.

However I'm just thinking to myself yea why not let me try and brighten her day a bit.

But as with most things across here no good deed goes unpunished. Lol and please don't think I have something against you because I don't. You're more than entitled to your views and I respect it and where you're coming from, likewise I hope I can be afforded that type of respect as well.

Also sometimes it's a good thing to look at the positive and not the negative at times.

My post and subsequent comments are about spreading love and goodwill and I hope at the very least you can see that

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By *erDirtyRockstarMan  over a year ago

buckinghamshire

A gentleman gesture on a second date with someone you connect with more than sex. Purely sex basis? Big potential for crossed wires /f'ing it up.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"OP can you clarify whether you are talking 'proper' dates or Fab meets?

Please?

Thanks champ

He said meets, so that’s why we’re all assuming Fab meets, but I’ve seen him say it on other threads as well that have made it pretty clear that it’s Fab meets he means."

In which case, no

Bringing flowers to a casual sex meet would be decidedly odd.

And a little disconcerting.

Thats my opinion, OP

As an educated, confident woman

I apologise if it doesnt tally with yours

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"

You simply have no idea, despite the comments and explanations and even agreeing with my earlier point that women live their lives checking themselves in case of negative reactions.

He was just paying lip service and trying to sound good. He’s shown repeatedly that he has no idea what life is like for women, and doesn’t really care.

It amazes me at times how ppl specifically look for something negative out of a positive.

I specifically outlined my reasons for bringing flowers, so much so as to say that to me ( I can't speak for every guy) for me it is about bringing a little joy into the life of another person.

I even said maybe guys need to check themselves and how they treat women so that women wouldn't have to feel uncomfortable around guys.

Yet some how in all of that you derive I don't care about what women think and I'm not a good person (it's insinuated not spelt out)

Geez lol, you people are incredible at times (and I mean forum ppl and some not all) btw I don't think all agreed with you even though I do concur you have a consensus.

But like I said to someone who inboxed now earlier and told me that lots of women do like flowers and it's a very kind gesture etc. To thine own self be true. I'm naturally a romantic guy and I don't ever try to make women feel uncomfortable or ppl in general.

My personal MO is always to try in some way to enrich the life of anyone who has met me and to bring or add something good to their life (man or woman)

It's why I personally try and hold my self to high standards while interacting with other people

Wishing you a pleasant evening btw

Anyways you're entitled to your views

I wish I'd put a bet on that reply!

The irony is OP, you've stated that if men didn't have hidden agendas when gift giving, women would be able to accept the gesture with comfort and yet your insistence that you are right puts you right into the category of a man to be wary of."

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I've liked flowers on precisely one occasion. I was seeing someone. He asked about Valentine's Day. I said, kind of flippantly, something like "I'd rather daisies on the fifth of May than roses on the fourteenth of February. I want to know that you think about me, not that you buy things because society tells you you should".

I got a bunch of daisies on the fifth of May

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By *opsy RogersWoman  over a year ago

London


"I like the fact you want to bring a bit of joy to someones day. It may work better as a totally random thing by plunging them into the hands of a stranger as you stride on by or leave them on the till for the person behind type of gesture. You feel good for surprising someone, someone gets a bunch of flowers and no one has to have any awkward chats or feel obliged to shag anyone. "

Now that's an awsome thing to do, I've left stuff given to me I don't want in places I hope may make someone smile. A 'please help yourself' message is very simple.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"

You simply have no idea, despite the comments and explanations and even agreeing with my earlier point that women live their lives checking themselves in case of negative reactions.

He was just paying lip service and trying to sound good. He’s shown repeatedly that he has no idea what life is like for women, and doesn’t really care.

It amazes me at times how ppl specifically look for something negative out of a positive.

I specifically outlined my reasons for bringing flowers, so much so as to say that to me ( I can't speak for every guy) for me it is about bringing a little joy into the life of another person.

I even said maybe guys need to check themselves and how they treat women so that women wouldn't have to feel uncomfortable around guys.

Yet some how in all of that you derive I don't care about what women think and I'm not a good person (it's insinuated not spelt out)

Geez lol, you people are incredible at times (and I mean forum ppl and some not all) btw I don't think all agreed with you even though I do concur you have a consensus.

But like I said to someone who inboxed now earlier and told me that lots of women do like flowers and it's a very kind gesture etc. To thine own self be true. I'm naturally a romantic guy and I don't ever try to make women feel uncomfortable or ppl in general.

My personal MO is always to try in some way to enrich the life of anyone who has met me and to bring or add something good to their life (man or woman)

It's why I personally try and hold my self to high standards while interacting with other people

Wishing you a pleasant evening btw

Anyways you're entitled to your views

I wish I'd put a bet on that reply!

The irony is OP, you've stated that if men didn't have hidden agendas when gift giving, women would be able to accept the gesture with comfort and yet your insistence that you are right puts you right into the category of a man to be wary of."

I never said I was right. I said to thine own self be true.

It's like when I'm on date sometimes and women find it weird that I don't swear and I tell them I don't (under very few exceptions and none of then have to do with anger)

And they ask me if I have a problem with them swearing around me and I say no, and I add I'm accustomed to British ppl using obscene language all the time.

Now I'm not imposing my will on you to follow me and not curse, I'm just saying I don't feel the need to express myself in that type of manner.

It comes back to my point that that I'm not saying I'm right in giving flowers. Honestly if I'm speaking to a woman amd she tells me she doesn't like those things, guess what I ain't going to get them because it isn't for me I'm doing it for, it's for you.

This how I'll sum it up, it makes me happy to see other ppl happy. When ppl achieve things I'm always the firt to congratulate them etc because I'm genuinely happy for them.

It's not an act, it's just who I am and that subsequently flows into my dating life and just how I interact with ppl in general.

Do I think I'm a saint no, I have a very big ego and my confidence can come across as cocky sometimes (and it is something I'm trying to work on) and I have medical issues etc so I'm not perfect nor do I try to be. All I try to do is bring ina little more positivity in this world.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *opsy RogersWoman  over a year ago

London


"I might also add that maybe British guys (and guys in general) have set the bar so low that women have come to take kindness and compassion as something to be suspicious of.

I think from the comments guys need to do a lot better and maybe then women will see these acts of kindness as what they are acts of kindness with no hidden agenda .

Wow. You’ve got an entire thread full of women telling you (not for the first time) that they disagree with you, and your response is to blame other men and make out you’re superior? We’re all saying it’s weird or even creepy, maybe take that on board and stop making the women you meet uncomfortable?

If he replies, I bet he will say (like he did earlier in this thread) that everyone he's given flowers to have been very happy about it. What he's ignoring is that behind that smile is possibly a woman feeling awkward, anxious and wondering what's expected of her.

While I'll agree that not every woman likes flowers or romantic gestures etc at least understand the point of what I'm saying.

I don't do because I want a woman to put out. Like others have said on this thread, it's a sex meet so you're probably going to get some if you don't be obnoxious or unkind to the person.

However I'm just thinking to myself yea why not let me try and brighten her day a bit.

But as with most things across here no good deed goes unpunished. Lol and please don't think I have something against you because I don't. You're more than entitled to your views and I respect it and where you're coming from, likewise I hope I can be afforded that type of respect as well.

Also sometimes it's a good thing to look at the positive and not the negative at times.

My post and subsequent comments are about spreading love and goodwill and I hope at the very least you can see that"

So are you going to take flowers with you to your next meet?

You are undertaking a PhD, the epitome of a mind that has to critically think and adjust to new ideas. You have a plethora of new information,what are you going to do with it?

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By *phroditeWoman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"I normally try to walk with flowers on a first meet.

So women if a guy brings you flowers on a first meet, what would be your opinion of him (and yes I welcome all opinions even if you think the guy might be trying to overcompensate in other areas if you know what I mean)

Just want a broad spectrum of answers, much thanks.

"

I appreciate the intention behind the gesture - but for me that could be a step towards the dating scene. Not that there is anything wrong with that as such - but there is a high risk the gesture could be interpreted as more than it was intended to be? Just a thought.

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By *opsy RogersWoman  over a year ago

London


"

You simply have no idea, despite the comments and explanations and even agreeing with my earlier point that women live their lives checking themselves in case of negative reactions.

He was just paying lip service and trying to sound good. He’s shown repeatedly that he has no idea what life is like for women, and doesn’t really care.

It amazes me at times how ppl specifically look for something negative out of a positive.

I specifically outlined my reasons for bringing flowers, so much so as to say that to me ( I can't speak for every guy) for me it is about bringing a little joy into the life of another person.

I even said maybe guys need to check themselves and how they treat women so that women wouldn't have to feel uncomfortable around guys.

Yet some how in all of that you derive I don't care about what women think and I'm not a good person (it's insinuated not spelt out)

Geez lol, you people are incredible at times (and I mean forum ppl and some not all) btw I don't think all agreed with you even though I do concur you have a consensus.

But like I said to someone who inboxed now earlier and told me that lots of women do like flowers and it's a very kind gesture etc. To thine own self be true. I'm naturally a romantic guy and I don't ever try to make women feel uncomfortable or ppl in general.

My personal MO is always to try in some way to enrich the life of anyone who has met me and to bring or add something good to their life (man or woman)

It's why I personally try and hold my self to high standards while interacting with other people

Wishing you a pleasant evening btw

Anyways you're entitled to your views

I wish I'd put a bet on that reply!

The irony is OP, you've stated that if men didn't have hidden agendas when gift giving, women would be able to accept the gesture with comfort and yet your insistence that you are right puts you right into the category of a man to be wary of.

I never said I was right. I said to thine own self be true.

It's like when I'm on date sometimes and women find it weird that I don't swear and I tell them I don't (under very few exceptions and none of then have to do with anger)

And they ask me if I have a problem with them swearing around me and I say no, and I add I'm accustomed to British ppl using obscene language all the time.

Now I'm not imposing my will on you to follow me and not curse, I'm just saying I don't feel the need to express myself in that type of manner.

It comes back to my point that that I'm not saying I'm right in giving flowers. Honestly if I'm speaking to a woman amd she tells me she doesn't like those things, guess what I ain't going to get them because it isn't for me I'm doing it for, it's for you.

This how I'll sum it up, it makes me happy to see other ppl happy. When ppl achieve things I'm always the firt to congratulate them etc because I'm genuinely happy for them.

It's not an act, it's just who I am and that subsequently flows into my dating life and just how I interact with ppl in general.

Do I think I'm a saint no, I have a very big ego and my confidence can come across as cocky sometimes (and it is something I'm trying to work on) and I have medical issues etc so I'm not perfect nor do I try to be. All I try to do is bring ina little more positivity in this world.

"

You're nearly there but you're still making it all about you.

You are nobody special, what you strive to be, the vast majority of other humans do to.

Now you've played the medical card, a common theme in gas lighters and those trying to deflect from addressing issues as it makes the reader worry about upsetting you.

Most of us have medical issues in some way or another and I don't see many of them using it for sympathy and deflection.

Can you at least agree that bringing flowers to a meet will make lots of women (the vast majority on this thread as an example) uncomfortable and wary?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I might also add that maybe British guys (and guys in general) have set the bar so low that women have come to take kindness and compassion as something to be suspicious of.

I think from the comments guys need to do a lot better and maybe then women will see these acts of kindness as what they are acts of kindness with no hidden agenda .

Wow. You’ve got an entire thread full of women telling you (not for the first time) that they disagree with you, and your response is to blame other men and make out you’re superior? We’re all saying it’s weird or even creepy, maybe take that on board and stop making the women you meet uncomfortable?

If he replies, I bet he will say (like he did earlier in this thread) that everyone he's given flowers to have been very happy about it. What he's ignoring is that behind that smile is possibly a woman feeling awkward, anxious and wondering what's expected of her.

While I'll agree that not every woman likes flowers or romantic gestures etc at least understand the point of what I'm saying.

I don't do because I want a woman to put out. Like others have said on this thread, it's a sex meet so you're probably going to get some if you don't be obnoxious or unkind to the person.

However I'm just thinking to myself yea why not let me try and brighten her day a bit.

But as with most things across here no good deed goes unpunished. Lol and please don't think I have something against you because I don't. You're more than entitled to your views and I respect it and where you're coming from, likewise I hope I can be afforded that type of respect as well.

Also sometimes it's a good thing to look at the positive and not the negative at times.

My post and subsequent comments are about spreading love and goodwill and I hope at the very least you can see that

So are you going to take flowers with you to your next meet?

You are undertaking a PhD, the epitome of a mind that has to critically think and adjust to new ideas. You have a plethora of new information,what are you going to do with it?"

I'm actually doing a Master's (hopefully I'll be starting my PhD in 2022) can't apply because I don't finish my Master's until next year (due to COVID-19)

I think the thing is I don't do things to make women feel uncomfortable. I always say I go with a flow, if I feel a good vibe I'll feed into it, if not then I'll be very cautious and respectful of your space.

Like I said I'm not going to change who I am because it's not the norm. Most of my peers in school smoke, I never did it because there were reasons behind it. Most of the ppl who I hang out with do cocaine, I'll never do it and I'm sure they might sometimes feel uncomfortable with that but that doesn't mean I have to change who I am to fit in.

What I will do is pay attention when getting to known someone and thus if I pick up cues they might not appreciate such a gesture then I wouldn't. However what I certainly will do is make sure they are under no obligation to have sex with me in any way.

And that goes for a regular first date.

But yea I'm not going to change something that I'm doing with good intentions because of ppl opinions. Like I said I've noted the opinions and thus I will be careful in the future but yea who knows the love of my life (who loves flowers) might be disappointed because I decided to allow the opinions of others to influence me.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"

You simply have no idea, despite the comments and explanations and even agreeing with my earlier point that women live their lives checking themselves in case of negative reactions.

He was just paying lip service and trying to sound good. He’s shown repeatedly that he has no idea what life is like for women, and doesn’t really care.

It amazes me at times how ppl specifically look for something negative out of a positive.

I specifically outlined my reasons for bringing flowers, so much so as to say that to me ( I can't speak for every guy) for me it is about bringing a little joy into the life of another person.

I even said maybe guys need to check themselves and how they treat women so that women wouldn't have to feel uncomfortable around guys.

Yet some how in all of that you derive I don't care about what women think and I'm not a good person (it's insinuated not spelt out)

Geez lol, you people are incredible at times (and I mean forum ppl and some not all) btw I don't think all agreed with you even though I do concur you have a consensus.

But like I said to someone who inboxed now earlier and told me that lots of women do like flowers and it's a very kind gesture etc. To thine own self be true. I'm naturally a romantic guy and I don't ever try to make women feel uncomfortable or ppl in general.

My personal MO is always to try in some way to enrich the life of anyone who has met me and to bring or add something good to their life (man or woman)

It's why I personally try and hold my self to high standards while interacting with other people

Wishing you a pleasant evening btw

Anyways you're entitled to your views

I wish I'd put a bet on that reply!

The irony is OP, you've stated that if men didn't have hidden agendas when gift giving, women would be able to accept the gesture with comfort and yet your insistence that you are right puts you right into the category of a man to be wary of.

I never said I was right. I said to thine own self be true.

It's like when I'm on date sometimes and women find it weird that I don't swear and I tell them I don't (under very few exceptions and none of then have to do with anger)

And they ask me if I have a problem with them swearing around me and I say no, and I add I'm accustomed to British ppl using obscene language all the time.

Now I'm not imposing my will on you to follow me and not curse, I'm just saying I don't feel the need to express myself in that type of manner.

It comes back to my point that that I'm not saying I'm right in giving flowers. Honestly if I'm speaking to a woman amd she tells me she doesn't like those things, guess what I ain't going to get them because it isn't for me I'm doing it for, it's for you.

This how I'll sum it up, it makes me happy to see other ppl happy. When ppl achieve things I'm always the firt to congratulate them etc because I'm genuinely happy for them.

It's not an act, it's just who I am and that subsequently flows into my dating life and just how I interact with ppl in general.

Do I think I'm a saint no, I have a very big ego and my confidence can come across as cocky sometimes (and it is something I'm trying to work on) and I have medical issues etc so I'm not perfect nor do I try to be. All I try to do is bring ina little more positivity in this world.

You're nearly there but you're still making it all about you.

You are nobody special, what you strive to be, the vast majority of other humans do to.

Now you've played the medical card, a common theme in gas lighters and those trying to deflect from addressing issues as it makes the reader worry about upsetting you.

Most of us have medical issues in some way or another and I don't see many of them using it for sympathy and deflection.

Can you at least agree that bringing flowers to a meet will make lots of women (the vast majority on this thread as an example) uncomfortable and wary?"

I'm not playing a card I'm simply saying that I'm not a saint or perfect. Most women when they see me are like oh I'm so handsome etc etc, most wonder why I'm single (just today a lady asked me why am I even on fab) so normally I mention my medical history so that people don't have a high opinion about me and realise I'm just like anyone else.

Fair enough xx

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By *ettyboop61Woman  over a year ago

St Neots

[Removed by poster at 16/10/20 21:03:35]

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By *ettyboop61Woman  over a year ago

St Neots

I would welcome that ....I think it shows that their a gentleman with morals and respect...bring the flowers on

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By *irty PrettyWoman  over a year ago

Cardiff


"I've liked flowers on precisely one occasion. I was seeing someone. He asked about Valentine's Day. I said, kind of flippantly, something like "I'd rather daisies on the fifth of May than roses on the fourteenth of February. I want to know that you think about me, not that you buy things because society tells you you should".

I got a bunch of daisies on the fifth of May "

I like that, as much for the fact that he listened and remembered as the flowers themselves.

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By *opsy RogersWoman  over a year ago

London


"What I will do is pay attention when getting to known someone and thus if I pick up cues they might not appreciate such a gesture then I wouldn't. However what I certainly will do is make sure they are under no obligation to have sex with me in any way.

And that goes for a regular first date.

But yea I'm not going to change something that I'm doing with good intentions because of ppl opinions. Like I said I've noted the opinions and thus I will be careful in the future but yea who knows the love of my life (who loves flowers) might be disappointed because I decided to allow the opinions of others to influence me. "

So you're saying (in that jumble of words, most of which is more deflection) that despite knowing the negative reaction in giving a meet flowers can bring, you are going to do it anyway?

Your girlfriend is irrelevant in this scenario, your first post was about taking flowers to a meet.

I have a feeling you were hoping we would all say what a wonderful man you are but when you got something else, it shocked you.

We are questioning your act OP, not you. It's the difference between calling someone stupid and what they did, stupid.

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I've liked flowers on precisely one occasion. I was seeing someone. He asked about Valentine's Day. I said, kind of flippantly, something like "I'd rather daisies on the fifth of May than roses on the fourteenth of February. I want to know that you think about me, not that you buy things because society tells you you should".

I got a bunch of daisies on the fifth of May

I like that, as much for the fact that he listened and remembered as the flowers themselves."

That's exactly it.

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By *irty PrettyWoman  over a year ago

Cardiff


"I've liked flowers on precisely one occasion. I was seeing someone. He asked about Valentine's Day. I said, kind of flippantly, something like "I'd rather daisies on the fifth of May than roses on the fourteenth of February. I want to know that you think about me, not that you buy things because society tells you you should".

I got a bunch of daisies on the fifth of May

I like that, as much for the fact that he listened and remembered as the flowers themselves.

That's exactly it."

It’s a rare quality!

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By *opsy RogersWoman  over a year ago

London


"I've liked flowers on precisely one occasion. I was seeing someone. He asked about Valentine's Day. I said, kind of flippantly, something like "I'd rather daisies on the fifth of May than roses on the fourteenth of February. I want to know that you think about me, not that you buy things because society tells you you should".

I got a bunch of daisies on the fifth of May

I like that, as much for the fact that he listened and remembered as the flowers themselves.

That's exactly it.

It’s a rare quality!"

I was buying a couple of things for my son for his new home. He's a talented cook and there was an amazing frying pan on offer and a knife he'd been wanting for a while. My chef mate was with me to help

I spotted two beautiful and unusual fine, white china mugs with a very unusual design but I really couldn't afford them.

Guess what I got on my birthday 5 months later...I actually burst into snotty tears!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"What I will do is pay attention when getting to known someone and thus if I pick up cues they might not appreciate such a gesture then I wouldn't. However what I certainly will do is make sure they are under no obligation to have sex with me in any way.

And that goes for a regular first date.

But yea I'm not going to change something that I'm doing with good intentions because of ppl opinions. Like I said I've noted the opinions and thus I will be careful in the future but yea who knows the love of my life (who loves flowers) might be disappointed because I decided to allow the opinions of others to influence me.

So you're saying (in that jumble of words, most of which is more deflection) that despite knowing the negative reaction in giving a meet flowers can bring, you are going to do it anyway?

Your girlfriend is irrelevant in this scenario, your first post was about taking flowers to a meet.

I have a feeling you were hoping we would all say what a wonderful man you are but when you got something else, it shocked you.

We are questioning your act OP, not you. It's the difference between calling someone stupid and what they did, stupid. "

Are you aware that over 20 women personally msged me and said they love getting flowers and that I should continue to do so.

I was trying not to take it there but I felt like I had to. And for whatever ever reasons they chose not to post on the forum because they find a lot of ppl like to just basically look for any fault in something or what someone has to say.

Like I said in terms of replies in the group you probably have a consensus but at the same time guess what there are lots of ppl who agree with me on giving flowers and again I don't ask questions i know the answer to.

I personally expected a wide range of answers and somewhere I'm sure I commented thanks for the wide range of opinions on it.

I was looking for a more even split but I'm happy with the results of the question thus far. I don't live my life to please other ok per se, I live it to make myself happy and like I said I derive my happiness by the happiness in others.

I would've sent you screenshots but the mere fact that these persons chose to msg me privately and not in the group, means I wouldn't be a good person if I violated their privacy. (One lady even asked me why am I even on fab because she felt I looked attractive and I was very flattered by her because I was equally attracted to her as well)

And I'm only saying it because you're trying to get at me a bit and I'm ot doing the same to you. So let me ask you should I take the advice of 23 ladies who msged me and the few in here who think getting flowers on a first meet is nice or just the rest who say no.

Or should I pull from the knowledge of. Lab sides and thus give the statement I did before xx

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I've liked flowers on precisely one occasion. I was seeing someone. He asked about Valentine's Day. I said, kind of flippantly, something like "I'd rather daisies on the fifth of May than roses on the fourteenth of February. I want to know that you think about me, not that you buy things because society tells you you should".

I got a bunch of daisies on the fifth of May

I like that, as much for the fact that he listened and remembered as the flowers themselves.

That's exactly it.

It’s a rare quality!

I was buying a couple of things for my son for his new home. He's a talented cook and there was an amazing frying pan on offer and a knife he'd been wanting for a while. My chef mate was with me to help

I spotted two beautiful and unusual fine, white china mugs with a very unusual design but I really couldn't afford them.

Guess what I got on my birthday 5 months later...I actually burst into snotty tears!"

Oh wow

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By *opsy RogersWoman  over a year ago

London

OP, you said that you wouldn't let the opinions of others influence you.

I'd like to respectfully suggest that you reconsider that.

In the context of your first post, nobody is suggesting you stop buying and giving flowers, only that you consider the other person FIRST, not your altruism.

In academia, you have no choice but to allow the opinions of others to influence you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I've liked flowers on precisely one occasion. I was seeing someone. He asked about Valentine's Day. I said, kind of flippantly, something like "I'd rather daisies on the fifth of May than roses on the fourteenth of February. I want to know that you think about me, not that you buy things because society tells you you should".

I got a bunch of daisies on the fifth of May

I like that, as much for the fact that he listened and remembered as the flowers themselves.

That's exactly it.

It’s a rare quality!"

What I do (once I have the chance to) and this is for dates not fab meets I do ask a girl's friend what are her favourite flowers b4 buying them on a first date and sometimes I work the flower into the conversation to see what they like. Because I do agree most women, well probably not most but there's a fair amount of women out there who love other flowers besides roses.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *opsy RogersWoman  over a year ago

London


"What I will do is pay attention when getting to known someone and thus if I pick up cues they might not appreciate such a gesture then I wouldn't. However what I certainly will do is make sure they are under no obligation to have sex with me in any way.

And that goes for a regular first date.

But yea I'm not going to change something that I'm doing with good intentions because of ppl opinions. Like I said I've noted the opinions and thus I will be careful in the future but yea who knows the love of my life (who loves flowers) might be disappointed because I decided to allow the opinions of others to influence me.

So you're saying (in that jumble of words, most of which is more deflection) that despite knowing the negative reaction in giving a meet flowers can bring, you are going to do it anyway?

Your girlfriend is irrelevant in this scenario, your first post was about taking flowers to a meet.

I have a feeling you were hoping we would all say what a wonderful man you are but when you got something else, it shocked you.

We are questioning your act OP, not you. It's the difference between calling someone stupid and what they did, stupid.

Are you aware that over 20 women personally msged me and said they love getting flowers and that I should continue to do so.

I was trying not to take it there but I felt like I had to. And for whatever ever reasons they chose not to post on the forum because they find a lot of ppl like to just basically look for any fault in something or what someone has to say.

Like I said in terms of replies in the group you probably have a consensus but at the same time guess what there are lots of ppl who agree with me on giving flowers and again I don't ask questions i know the answer to.

I personally expected a wide range of answers and somewhere I'm sure I commented thanks for the wide range of opinions on it.

I was looking for a more even split but I'm happy with the results of the question thus far. I don't live my life to please other ok per se, I live it to make myself happy and like I said I derive my happiness by the happiness in others.

I would've sent you screenshots but the mere fact that these persons chose to msg me privately and not in the group, means I wouldn't be a good person if I violated their privacy. (One lady even asked me why am I even on fab because she felt I looked attractive and I was very flattered by her because I was equally attracted to her as well)

And I'm only saying it because you're trying to get at me a bit and I'm ot doing the same to you. So let me ask you should I take the advice of 23 ladies who msged me and the few in here who think getting flowers on a first meet is nice or just the rest who say no.

Or should I pull from the knowledge of. Lab sides and thus give the statement I did before xx

"

Now you've done the victim thing.

I've asked you simple questions and you've chosen to obfuscate.

Women have told you it's fine and women have told you the very opposite.

Does that mean that because you want to give flowers on a meet, you will ignore the negative emotions you will inflict on lots of women because others like it?

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I've liked flowers on precisely one occasion. I was seeing someone. He asked about Valentine's Day. I said, kind of flippantly, something like "I'd rather daisies on the fifth of May than roses on the fourteenth of February. I want to know that you think about me, not that you buy things because society tells you you should".

I got a bunch of daisies on the fifth of May

I like that, as much for the fact that he listened and remembered as the flowers themselves.

That's exactly it.

It’s a rare quality!

What I do (once I have the chance to) and this is for dates not fab meets I do ask a girl's friend what are her favourite flowers b4 buying them on a first date and sometimes I work the flower into the conversation to see what they like. Because I do agree most women, well probably not most but there's a fair amount of women out there who love other flowers besides roses. "

Ok. I have favourite flowers. I wouldn't want them as a present.

This fits into the stuff I don't want.

Please don't try to fit me into your mould.

Many women like receiving flowers. But not all do. And we're not wrong about our own preferences (and it is 2020 why do we still need to say this)

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By *opsy RogersWoman  over a year ago

London


"I've liked flowers on precisely one occasion. I was seeing someone. He asked about Valentine's Day. I said, kind of flippantly, something like "I'd rather daisies on the fifth of May than roses on the fourteenth of February. I want to know that you think about me, not that you buy things because society tells you you should".

I got a bunch of daisies on the fifth of May

I like that, as much for the fact that he listened and remembered as the flowers themselves.

That's exactly it.

It’s a rare quality!

What I do (once I have the chance to) and this is for dates not fab meets I do ask a girl's friend what are her favourite flowers b4 buying them on a first date and sometimes I work the flower into the conversation to see what they like. Because I do agree most women, well probably not most but there's a fair amount of women out there who love other flowers besides roses. "

Of course people love different types of flowers, what makes you think everybody wants roses?

I have a mate (who happens to be a man) who adores cala lilies. I wont buy them cut but he has had two growing in a pot from me.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I very much doubt 23 women privately messaged you. I don’t even think there’s 23 women on the forums

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By *opsy RogersWoman  over a year ago

London


"I very much doubt 23 women privately messaged you. I don’t even think there’s 23 women on the forums

"

You said it!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"What I will do is pay attention when getting to known someone and thus if I pick up cues they might not appreciate such a gesture then I wouldn't. However what I certainly will do is make sure they are under no obligation to have sex with me in any way.

And that goes for a regular first date.

But yea I'm not going to change something that I'm doing with good intentions because of ppl opinions. Like I said I've noted the opinions and thus I will be careful in the future but yea who knows the love of my life (who loves flowers) might be disappointed because I decided to allow the opinions of others to influence me.

So you're saying (in that jumble of words, most of which is more deflection) that despite knowing the negative reaction in giving a meet flowers can bring, you are going to do it anyway?

Your girlfriend is irrelevant in this scenario, your first post was about taking flowers to a meet.

I have a feeling you were hoping we would all say what a wonderful man you are but when you got something else, it shocked you.

We are questioning your act OP, not you. It's the difference between calling someone stupid and what they did, stupid.

Are you aware that over 20 women personally msged me and said they love getting flowers and that I should continue to do so.

I was trying not to take it there but I felt like I had to. And for whatever ever reasons they chose not to post on the forum because they find a lot of ppl like to just basically look for any fault in something or what someone has to say.

Like I said in terms of replies in the group you probably have a consensus but at the same time guess what there are lots of ppl who agree with me on giving flowers and again I don't ask questions i know the answer to.

I personally expected a wide range of answers and somewhere I'm sure I commented thanks for the wide range of opinions on it.

I was looking for a more even split but I'm happy with the results of the question thus far. I don't live my life to please other ok per se, I live it to make myself happy and like I said I derive my happiness by the happiness in others.

I would've sent you screenshots but the mere fact that these persons chose to msg me privately and not in the group, means I wouldn't be a good person if I violated their privacy. (One lady even asked me why am I even on fab because she felt I looked attractive and I was very flattered by her because I was equally attracted to her as well)

And I'm only saying it because you're trying to get at me a bit and I'm ot doing the same to you. So let me ask you should I take the advice of 23 ladies who msged me and the few in here who think getting flowers on a first meet is nice or just the rest who say no.

Or should I pull from the knowledge of. Lab sides and thus give the statement I did before xx

Now you've done the victim thing.

I've asked you simple questions and you've chosen to obfuscate.

Women have told you it's fine and women have told you the very opposite.

Does that mean that because you want to give flowers on a meet, you will ignore the negative emotions you will inflict on lots of women because others like it?"

What If a lady sees this post and wants flowers and we happen to chat and we meet and I don't give to her and she says one of 2 things

1) wow so you're the type of guy who changes his opinion because it's not the popular thing to do

And/or

2) wow you're one of those guys who talk the talk but don't walk with the walk.

What I don't seem to understand I was you're trying to pick a fight.i said I will take everything women said here under consideration but if I feel it's ok and I'm not going to give off a vibe to make her feel uncomfortable then why are you still upset

Furthermore (and going into nerd mode a bit) your logic as it pertains to fab meets mot regular dates, is that most times you're planning to sleep with the person already, aren't you not. Let's say you're meeting a bloke at a hotel to have sex, he walks with flowers are you going to be like maybe he expects me to do something. You're already meeting at a hotel lol, he's literally just being kind to you.

Now a social where you're not really sure, that's another matter, but most of my meets have been at the hotel itself and we'd rest down our stuff and the go for drinks elsewhere and come back.

Anyways I'm not attacking you, im just trying to show the fallacy of your logic.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I would welcome that ....I think it shows that their a gentleman with morals and respect...bring the flowers on "

Does it?!

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By *irginieWoman  over a year ago

Near Marlborough

If 23 women like flowers that’s great. If 1 woman doesn’t want flowers for whatever reason, that’s great too. My feeling is that you should tailor what you do to that one person at that time. Then you cannot go wrong. None of us like being lumped into a generic bunch.

V x

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By *irty PrettyWoman  over a year ago

Cardiff


"I've liked flowers on precisely one occasion. I was seeing someone. He asked about Valentine's Day. I said, kind of flippantly, something like "I'd rather daisies on the fifth of May than roses on the fourteenth of February. I want to know that you think about me, not that you buy things because society tells you you should".

I got a bunch of daisies on the fifth of May

I like that, as much for the fact that he listened and remembered as the flowers themselves.

That's exactly it.

It’s a rare quality!

I was buying a couple of things for my son for his new home. He's a talented cook and there was an amazing frying pan on offer and a knife he'd been wanting for a while. My chef mate was with me to help

I spotted two beautiful and unusual fine, white china mugs with a very unusual design but I really couldn't afford them.

Guess what I got on my birthday 5 months later...I actually burst into snotty tears!"

Aw, this is what I love about giving and receiving gifts. Taking the time to pay attention to small things and buying something that’s actually meaningful.

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"What I will do is pay attention when getting to known someone and thus if I pick up cues they might not appreciate such a gesture then I wouldn't. However what I certainly will do is make sure they are under no obligation to have sex with me in any way.

And that goes for a regular first date.

But yea I'm not going to change something that I'm doing with good intentions because of ppl opinions. Like I said I've noted the opinions and thus I will be careful in the future but yea who knows the love of my life (who loves flowers) might be disappointed because I decided to allow the opinions of others to influence me.

So you're saying (in that jumble of words, most of which is more deflection) that despite knowing the negative reaction in giving a meet flowers can bring, you are going to do it anyway?

Your girlfriend is irrelevant in this scenario, your first post was about taking flowers to a meet.

I have a feeling you were hoping we would all say what a wonderful man you are but when you got something else, it shocked you.

We are questioning your act OP, not you. It's the difference between calling someone stupid and what they did, stupid.

Are you aware that over 20 women personally msged me and said they love getting flowers and that I should continue to do so.

I was trying not to take it there but I felt like I had to. And for whatever ever reasons they chose not to post on the forum because they find a lot of ppl like to just basically look for any fault in something or what someone has to say.

Like I said in terms of replies in the group you probably have a consensus but at the same time guess what there are lots of ppl who agree with me on giving flowers and again I don't ask questions i know the answer to.

I personally expected a wide range of answers and somewhere I'm sure I commented thanks for the wide range of opinions on it.

I was looking for a more even split but I'm happy with the results of the question thus far. I don't live my life to please other ok per se, I live it to make myself happy and like I said I derive my happiness by the happiness in others.

I would've sent you screenshots but the mere fact that these persons chose to msg me privately and not in the group, means I wouldn't be a good person if I violated their privacy. (One lady even asked me why am I even on fab because she felt I looked attractive and I was very flattered by her because I was equally attracted to her as well)

And I'm only saying it because you're trying to get at me a bit and I'm ot doing the same to you. So let me ask you should I take the advice of 23 ladies who msged me and the few in here who think getting flowers on a first meet is nice or just the rest who say no.

Or should I pull from the knowledge of. Lab sides and thus give the statement I did before xx

Now you've done the victim thing.

I've asked you simple questions and you've chosen to obfuscate.

Women have told you it's fine and women have told you the very opposite.

Does that mean that because you want to give flowers on a meet, you will ignore the negative emotions you will inflict on lots of women because others like it?

What If a lady sees this post and wants flowers and we happen to chat and we meet and I don't give to her and she says one of 2 things

1) wow so you're the type of guy who changes his opinion because it's not the popular thing to do

And/or

2) wow you're one of those guys who talk the talk but don't walk with the walk.

What I don't seem to understand I was you're trying to pick a fight.i said I will take everything women said here under consideration but if I feel it's ok and I'm not going to give off a vibe to make her feel uncomfortable then why are you still upset

Furthermore (and going into nerd mode a bit) your logic as it pertains to fab meets mot regular dates, is that most times you're planning to sleep with the person already, aren't you not. Let's say you're meeting a bloke at a hotel to have sex, he walks with flowers are you going to be like maybe he expects me to do something. You're already meeting at a hotel lol, he's literally just being kind to you.

Now a social where you're not really sure, that's another matter, but most of my meets have been at the hotel itself and we'd rest down our stuff and the go for drinks elsewhere and come back.

Anyways I'm not attacking you, im just trying to show the fallacy of your logic.

"

She's not wrong, you don't get it, and you're not listening.

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By *iamondCougarWoman  over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

If someone gave me flowers on a first meet I’d consider it a thoughtful gesture and accept them gratefully.

Not many guys would even consider it so it would tell me a lot about their personality

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By *00KissesCouple  over a year ago

Stourbridge

I would think lovely xx and smile when ever looked at them xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Could all the 20 plus women who messaged the Op tell us how much you love receiving flowers. Thanks in advance

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Oh lord no

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If someone gave me flowers on a first meet I’d consider it a thoughtful gesture and accept them gratefully.

Not many guys would even consider it so it would tell me a lot about their personality "

It would tell me a lot too and it wouldn’t necessarily be anything good (in my opinion)

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By *irty PrettyWoman  over a year ago

Cardiff

You know what I want a man to bring to a meet? Condoms! For god’s sake, bring the bloody condoms and don’t “forget” even though I’ve told him multiple times. Flowers are no use to me and just weird for a sex meet frankly. I can’t bring them home and even if I could, why would I? I might not want a constant reminder of the meet. I don’t want an empty, pointless gesture from a semi-stranger, I want actual respect. I want my feelings and needs to be considered, not grandiose performative acts.

OP, have you ever considered asking a woman what she wants first? If you treat all women as one monolithic entity and you believe you know what that “woman” entity wants, flowers won’t be the only “one size fits all” thing you’re getting wrong.

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"You know what I want a man to bring to a meet? Condoms! For god’s sake, bring the bloody condoms and don’t “forget” even though I’ve told him multiple times. Flowers are no use to me and just weird for a sex meet frankly. I can’t bring them home and even if I could, why would I? I might not want a constant reminder of the meet. I don’t want an empty, pointless gesture from a semi-stranger, I want actual respect. I want my feelings and needs to be considered, not grandiose performative acts.

OP, have you ever considered asking a woman what she wants first? If you treat all women as one monolithic entity and you believe you know what that “woman” entity wants, flowers won’t be the only “one size fits all” thing you’re getting wrong."

This again. We should cross stitch it and frame it.

Respect, not gestures

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By *opsy RogersWoman  over a year ago

London


"What I will do is pay attention when getting to known someone and thus if I pick up cues they might not appreciate such a gesture then I wouldn't. However what I certainly will do is make sure they are under no obligation to have sex with me in any way. a

And that goes for a regular first date.

But yea I'm not going to change something that I'm doing with good intentions because of ppl opinions. Like I said I've noted the opinions and thus I will be careful in the future but yea who knows the love of my life (who loves flowers) might be disappointed because I decided to allow the opinions of others to influence me.

So you're saying (in that jumble of words, most of which is more deflection) that despite knowing the negative reaction in giving a meet flowers can bring, you are going to do it anyway?

Your girlfriend is irrelevant in this scenario, your first post was about taking flowers to a meet.

I have a feeling you were hoping we would all say what a wonderful man you are but when you got something else, it shocked you.

We are questioning your act OP, not you. It's the difference between calling someone stupid and what they did, stupid.

Are you aware that over 20 women personally msged me and said they love getting flowers and that I should continue to do so.

I was trying not to take it there but I felt like I had to. And for whatever ever reasons they chose not to post on the forum because they find a lot of ppl like to just basically look for any fault in something or what someone has to say.

Like I said in terms of replies in the group you probably have a consensus but at the same time guess what there are lots of ppl who agree with me on giving flowers and again I don't ask questions i know the answer to.

I personally expected a wide range of answers and somewhere I'm sure I commented thanks for the wide range of opinions on it.

I was looking for a more even split but I'm happy with the results of the question thus far. I don't live my life to please other ok per se, I live it to make myself happy and like I said I derive my happiness by the happiness in others.

I would've sent you screenshots but the mere fact that these persons chose to msg me privately and not in the group, means I wouldn't be a good person if I violated their privacy. (One lady even asked me why am I even on fab because she felt I looked attractive and I was very flattered by her because I was equally attracted to her as well)

And I'm only saying it because you're trying to get at me a bit and I'm ot doing the same to you. So let me ask you should I take the advice of 23 ladies who msged me and the few in here who think getting flowers on a first meet is nice or just the rest who say no.

Or should I pull from the knowledge of. Lab sides and thus give the statement I did before xx

Now you've done the victim thing.

I've asked you simple questions and you've chosen to obfuscate.

Women have told you it's fine and women have told you the very opposite.

Does that mean that because you want to give flowers on a meet, you will ignore the negative emotions you will inflict on lots of women because others like it?

What If a lady sees this post and wants flowers and we happen to chat and we meet and I don't give to her and she says one of 2 things

1) wow so you're the type of guy who changes his opinion because it's not the popular thing to do

And/or

2) wow you're one of those guys who talk the talk but don't walk with the walk.

What I don't seem to understand I was you're trying to pick a fight.i said I will take everything women said here under consideration but if I feel it's ok and I'm not going to give off a vibe to make her feel uncomfortable then why are you still upset

Furthermore (and going into nerd mode a bit) your logic as it pertains to fab meets mot regular dates, is that most times you're planning to sleep with the person already, aren't you not. Let's say you're meeting a bloke at a hotel to have sex, he walks with flowers are you going to be like maybe he expects me to do something. You're already meeting at a hotel lol, he's literally just being kind to you.

Now a social where you're not really sure, that's another matter, but most of my meets have been at the hotel itself and we'd rest down our stuff and the go for drinks elsewhere and come back.

Anyways I'm not attacking you, im just trying to show the fallacy of your logic.

"

Your OP states you take flowers to a first meet.

Many women have told you the very negative things that creates for them. It's all in this thread from the vast majority of women who posted.

Those 23 women could have posted here to say they thi k its lovely. They didn't.

What if, when you meet that woman she wants to change her mind about fucking you but she goes ahead anyway because that's actually easier than turning you and your lovely gesture down?

Knowing as you do now, that taking flowers that you've not discussed to a meet where sex has been, may elicit fear and compliance in that woman?

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS  over a year ago

Stockport


"I've liked flowers on precisely one occasion. I was seeing someone. He asked about Valentine's Day. I said, kind of flippantly, something like "I'd rather daisies on the fifth of May than roses on the fourteenth of February. I want to know that you think about me, not that you buy things because society tells you you should".

I got a bunch of daisies on the fifth of May "

Awesome. I'd have got the details jumbled and turned up with dandelions on 4th of April...

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