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Describe something you've done today... badly

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By *naswingdress OP   Woman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

What are you up to?

Tell me... but in a way that makes it hard to know what you've actually been doing. Describe it badly.

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By *otSoPoshWoman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Crying. With a knife.

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By *otSoPoshWoman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Crying. With a knife."

Ok. That sounds way worse than it actually was.....

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By *naswingdress OP   Woman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Crying. With a knife.

Ok. That sounds way worse than it actually was..... "

That's not a knife

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Crying. With a knife.

Ok. That sounds way worse than it actually was..... "

I assume you were chopping onions?

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By *umalotagainMan  over a year ago

a town called malice

Sucked someone’s toes to take their pain away

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Fired a pig through a tiny hose

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Otherwise talking to me must have been a real downer for your day

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Being stubbornly aware of all my bad bits.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Got paint everywhere

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By *amie HantsWoman  over a year ago

Atlantis

Selling my soul to convince someone to pay me to perform a task that I am mediocre at but do with great enthusiasm regardless of my lack of technical ability.

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By *otSoPoshWoman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Crying. With a knife.

Ok. That sounds way worse than it actually was.....

That's not a knife "

I'm not sure you made it better....

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By *otSoPoshWoman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Otherwise talking to me must have been a real downer for your day "

Yeah. I mean dude!

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By *naswingdress OP   Woman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

My dampness spreads, oozing into wetness. I breathe heavily, feeling my racing pulse throughout my body. My breasts bounce. My hair waves frantically like an over excited puppy. The damp on my face feels like I'm swimming through my saliva.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I've been stimulating my visual cortex while fiddling with my knob and pressing my buttons.

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By *naswingdress OP   Woman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Crying. With a knife.

Ok. That sounds way worse than it actually was.....

That's not a knife

I'm not sure you made it better...."

Amer... Australian psycho

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By *hrista BellendWoman  over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Fire to fill my belly

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By *otSoPoshWoman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"My dampness spreads, oozing into wetness. I breathe heavily, feeling my racing pulse throughout my body. My breasts bounce. My hair waves frantically like an over excited puppy. The damp on my face feels like I'm swimming through my saliva."

Fucks sake woman. How did you manage to turn that into porn

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My dampness spreads, oozing into wetness. I breathe heavily, feeling my racing pulse throughout my body. My breasts bounce. My hair waves frantically like an over excited puppy. The damp on my face feels like I'm swimming through my saliva."

So you went to the gym yeah?

Or you performing on camera?

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By *otSoPoshWoman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I've been stimulating my visual cortex while fiddling with my knob and pressing my buttons. "

Yes, but that's actually how you describe wanking usually.

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By *naswingdress OP   Woman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"My dampness spreads, oozing into wetness. I breathe heavily, feeling my racing pulse throughout my body. My breasts bounce. My hair waves frantically like an over excited puppy. The damp on my face feels like I'm swimming through my saliva.

Fucks sake woman. How did you manage to turn that into porn"

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By *naswingdress OP   Woman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"My dampness spreads, oozing into wetness. I breathe heavily, feeling my racing pulse throughout my body. My breasts bounce. My hair waves frantically like an over excited puppy. The damp on my face feels like I'm swimming through my saliva.

So you went to the gym yeah?

Or you performing on camera? "

Running on a treadmill in a mask.

It sucks

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Otherwise talking to me must have been a real downer for your day

Yeah. I mean dude!"

Sorry honey

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By *otSoPoshWoman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Being stubbornly aware of all my bad bits."

Stop picking your toes....

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By *otSoPoshWoman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Fired a pig through a tiny hose "

Your hose is not tiny...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've been stimulating my visual cortex while fiddling with my knob and pressing my buttons.

Yes, but that's actually how you describe wanking usually."

I have done nothing of the sort today!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Fired a pig through a tiny hose

Your hose is not tiny... "

Small bore though

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By *otSoPoshWoman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Fired a pig through a tiny hose

Your hose is not tiny...

Small bore though "

I'll have a closer look if I may

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By *otSoPoshWoman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I've been stimulating my visual cortex while fiddling with my knob and pressing my buttons.

Yes, but that's actually how you describe wanking usually.

I have done nothing of the sort today! "

Coffee came out of my face.....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Being stubbornly aware of all my bad bits.

Stop picking your toes...."

Nah, I saved that job for you

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I used some aids originally designed to make the lives of women easier.

Once satisfied with the results of my efforts I went out then came back in.

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By *otSoPoshWoman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Being stubbornly aware of all my bad bits.

Stop picking your toes....

Nah, I saved that job for you "

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By *naswingdress OP   Woman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I used some aids originally designed to make the lives of women easier.

Once satisfied with the results of my efforts I went out then came back in. "

Ooh err

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

In an attempt to make a tin box warmer I played with water and electricity

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've been stimulating my visual cortex while fiddling with my knob and pressing my buttons.

Yes, but that's actually how you describe wanking usually.

I have done nothing of the sort today!

Coffee came out of my face....."

Not like you to spit!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Heated up some squished wheat grains , then formed into a rectangle . Coated it with stired up sold cows milk

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By *otSoPoshWoman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I've been stimulating my visual cortex while fiddling with my knob and pressing my buttons.

Yes, but that's actually how you describe wanking usually.

I have done nothing of the sort today!

Coffee came out of my face.....

Not like you to spit! "

I know! You made me.....

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By *ikesEmBigMan  over a year ago

Herts

My job

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By *ily WhiteWoman  over a year ago

?

My frustration is palpable. My fingers grope. My eyes search frantically. Alas, that which I seek evades me.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

In my hand I held hardness while using my whole arm to really work it. I then made it get warm and afterwards let it cool off. I shall be enjoying something spicy later this evening.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Stripping back to the bare bones whilst walkers passed by commenting on how its good to see at last

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've been stimulating my visual cortex while fiddling with my knob and pressing my buttons.

Yes, but that's actually how you describe wanking usually.

I have done nothing of the sort today!

Coffee came out of my face.....

Not like you to spit!

I know! You made me..... "

Too much in your mouth?

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By *otSoPoshWoman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I've been stimulating my visual cortex while fiddling with my knob and pressing my buttons.

Yes, but that's actually how you describe wanking usually.

I have done nothing of the sort today!

Coffee came out of my face.....

Not like you to spit!

I know! You made me.....

Too much in your mouth? "

No such thing. You just made me laugh at you

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Pushing buttons so I can tell my colleagues what a shit job they've done

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By *naswingdress OP   Woman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Emotions surge. Conflicted. Suppressed. I float, timeless, weightless, numb. I get off the phone.

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By *isaB45Woman  over a year ago

Fabville

Coloured my bumhole blue with a Sharpie. Looks terrible. Never again. Will use glitter pink next time.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've been stimulating my visual cortex while fiddling with my knob and pressing my buttons.

Yes, but that's actually how you describe wanking usually.

I have done nothing of the sort today!

Coffee came out of my face.....

Not like you to spit!

I know! You made me.....

Too much in your mouth?

No such thing. You just made me laugh at you "

Ah well, at least I'm good for comedy purposes!

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By *ent in BlackMan  over a year ago

Silsden

Had a day off work with man flu.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Been drained of vital bodily fluids, now feeling woozy and a little light headed!

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By *naswingdress OP   Woman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Been drained of vital bodily fluids, now feeling woozy and a little light headed! "

You gave blood?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Rolled some cow milk fat, unrefined dehydrated cane sap, and aromatic tree bark powder into a fermented mixture of wheat grain powder, cultured cow milk, olive juice, a chicken ova and refined dehydrated cane sap

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Crying. With a knife."

Sharpen your knife then

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