FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > It seems I'm not girlfriend material
It seems I'm not girlfriend material
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"What does girlfriend material even mean? It's just a way of saying you're not what that particular man's looking for. In that case he isn't boyfriend material."
Don't internalise the idea that women need to behave in a certain way to be worthy of a relationship.
There are men out there who will like you for who you are. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What does girlfriend material even mean? It's just a way of saying you're not what that particular man's looking for. In that case he isn't boyfriend material."
I just asked Ash this very question and he said big boobs and can cook.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is very possible to find a relationship on here. 
That is good to see and gives others hope. I hope you and Ash are well. I haven't seen you in ages, I havent been kn here much x"
Hello lovely.
We are really good thank you, hope you are too. X |
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"What does girlfriend material even mean? It's just a way of saying you're not what that particular man's looking for. In that case he isn't boyfriend material.
I just asked Ash this very question and he said big boobs and can cook. "
 .
I hate the term. It's as if people have to conform to some sort of standard. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What does girlfriend material even mean? It's just a way of saying you're not what that particular man's looking for. In that case he isn't boyfriend material.
I just asked Ash this very question and he said big boobs and can cook.
.
I hate the term. It's as if people have to conform to some sort of standard. "
He just saved himself by adding hes the luckiest man in the world  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"perhaps you would be more successful on a dating site, if you are looking for a boyfriend rather than swingers to have sex with "
Why?
Are you familiar with the term Madonna/ whore complex? |
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"It is very possible to find a relationship on here.
That is good to see and gives others hope. I hope you and Ash are well. I haven't seen you in ages, I havent been kn here much x
Hello lovely.
We are really good thank you, hope you are too. X"
Good glad all is well for you both xx
I'm ok. I was a bit meh for a while back there but feeling a lot brighter now. More or less back to feeling like me. I couldn't put my finger on it but I just felt shit x |
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By *reya!Woman
over a year ago
The fun palace |
"What does girlfriend material even mean? It's just a way of saying you're not what that particular man's looking for. In that case he isn't boyfriend material.
Don't internalise the idea that women need to behave in a certain way to be worthy of a relationship.
There are men out there who will like you for who you are. "
Absolutely! |
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"What does girlfriend material even mean? It's just a way of saying you're not what that particular man's looking for. In that case he isn't boyfriend material.
I just asked Ash this very question and he said big boobs and can cook. "
That's me in with a shout then  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For the 2nd time because I'm on a sex site."
Hi..do you mean that you were with two individual guys who were your BF and that the two guys have told you they don't want to be your BF because you told them you were on a sex site ? |
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"For the 2nd time because I'm on a sex site."
Where you are and what you are doing shouldn't matter.
"You're a nice person who you happened to meet on fabs."
That's what they should be telling themselves. What they're actually saying is every woman on fabs is worthless and not worthy of more. You really don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
You've dodged a bullet. Move on. |
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I saw two gentlemen (perhaps not!) on here comment just yesterday that if a woman is on here then she deserves to be single- not looking for a bf realistically, but I suppose it had occurred to me that if I found one, all lines of communication are already open with no deal breaking secrets hidden away for the future- but those comments did sting a bit! Keen to know what folks think of single women here- do we deserve any respect? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most single women I’ve met are single mothers without single girlfriends to go out with...
Coincidentally I’ve dated women from swinging sites in the past that actually wanted a monogamous relationship.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't let it bother you op, unless you're actually looking for a boyfriend. In which case, those 2 guys that said you weren't girlfriend material most certainly are not boyfriend material.
To echo above, it sounds like a bullshit way to say they weren't interested but no great loss to you anyway op  |
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"What does girlfriend material even mean? It's just a way of saying you're not what that particular man's looking for. In that case he isn't boyfriend material.
Don't internalise the idea that women need to behave in a certain way to be worthy of a relationship.
There are men out there who will like you for who you are. "
Both exactly right.
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"What does girlfriend material even mean? It's just a way of saying you're not what that particular man's looking for. In that case he isn't boyfriend material.
Don't internalise the idea that women need to behave in a certain way to be worthy of a relationship.
There are men out there who will like you for who you are. "
Agreed. There are decent men out there, ones who will love you for who you are. Don't feel you have to change to someone you're not to make/keep a man interested. |
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I think the original post says a lot more about the two guys than it does about her.
That is just the sort of single guy we don't want to meet. Unfortunately there are a lot of them about in this lifestyle.
It's back to the age old question, what makes a single swinger and those two definitely fail the attitude test. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What does girlfriend material even mean? It's just a way of saying you're not what that particular man's looking for. In that case he isn't boyfriend material.
Don't internalise the idea that women need to behave in a certain way to be worthy of a relationship.
There are men out there who will like you for who you are.
Agreed. There are decent men out there, ones who will love you for who you are. Don't feel you have to change to someone you're not to make/keep a man interested. "
How do you know they are not decent? I wouldn't date anyone I met on here either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"perhaps you would be more successful on a dating site, if you are looking for a boyfriend rather than swingers to have sex with "
If she wants a swinger boyfriend, here is a good place to look. |
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"For the 2nd time because I'm on a sex site."
You're not girlfriend material for those individuals!
Met my other half here seven years ago. If I were younger, looking to settle down and start a family etc I wouldn't look for someone who was a swinger. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For the 2nd time because I'm on a sex site."
Well I would say the person/people who said that are not girlfriend/boyfriend material if they think that! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you’re looking for a monogamous relationship and do not wish to find a partner to swing with then this isn’t the best place to look.
Not many guys like the idea of their potential girlfriend being on a site that’s predominantly used for sex and having pictures of her boobs/fanny for loads of other guys to see.
It’s double standards because I would date a guy from here and wouldn’t really card how I met him. But not many guys use this place to find relationships. It’s usually a stop gap whilst they date or seek to date in the real world. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If a guy thinks this then it's a clear red flag. You don't want to be the chaste girlfriend he has perfunctory missionary with, while going behind your back to fuck other girls that "aren't girlfriend material" because they enjoy sex.
But more often it seems to be rationalising why they're not willing to have a relationship - placing the blame on you, instead of them.
Which is, of course, pathetic. And also functions as a good red flag. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a guy thinks this then it's a clear red flag. You don't want to be the chaste girlfriend he has perfunctory missionary with, while going behind your back to fuck other girls that "aren't girlfriend material" because they enjoy sex.
But more often it seems to be rationalising why they're not willing to have a relationship - placing the blame on you, instead of them.
Which is, of course, pathetic. And also functions as a good red flag."
How has he blamed her? He might know he's not a swinger and wouldn't want to tie down a sexually promiscuous woman into a monogamous relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You've got to remember that every day out there is different way every woman in all of my life I've never been a boyfriend material times that girls would actually put me down and make me feel worthless and the end of the day day there is always someone out there for someone who will actually want you for you just remember that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How has he blamed her? He might know he's not a swinger and wouldn't want to tie down a sexually promiscuous woman into a monogamous relationship. "
I didn't say "he" has op hasn't given us all the information, so we wouldn't be able to pass judgement.
I think your scenario is unlikely though, unless she has specifically said she wants to continue swinging after getting into a relationship. |
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"What does girlfriend material even mean? It's just a way of saying you're not what that particular man's looking for. In that case he isn't boyfriend material.
I just asked Ash this very question and he said big boobs and can cook.
.
I hate the term. It's as if people have to conform to some sort of standard.
He just saved himself by adding hes the luckiest man in the world "
good man! |
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"If a guy thinks this then it's a clear red flag. You don't want to be the chaste girlfriend he has perfunctory missionary with, while going behind your back to fuck other girls that "aren't girlfriend material" because they enjoy sex.
But more often it seems to be rationalising why they're not willing to have a relationship - placing the blame on you, instead of them.
Which is, of course, pathetic. And also functions as a good red flag."
Agreed |
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I don't have a problem with someone not wanting to date a swinger or someone who enjoys sex with multiple partners. I have a problem with the phrase "girlfriend material" ( or boyfriend material), the matter from which a thing can be made. It somehow implies to me that there are a certain set of criteria that you need to meet before you can be considered "material" suitable to moulded for a relationship. Some people will use the phrase in regard to people who don't swing because they want a swinging partner. That's just as bad in my eyes. People are people, you either want to date them or you don't but they aren't material to alter about to fit your ideal |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't have a problem with someone not wanting to date a swinger or someone who enjoys sex with multiple partners. I have a problem with the phrase "girlfriend material" ( or boyfriend material), the matter from which a thing can be made. It somehow implies to me that there are a certain set of criteria that you need to meet before you can be considered "material" suitable to moulded for a relationship. Some people will use the phrase in regard to people who don't swing because they want a swinging partner. That's just as bad in my eyes. People are people, you either want to date them or you don't but they aren't material to alter about to fit your ideal"
It was me that used that phrase. Because they said they wouldn't want a girlfriend that was on a sex site. |
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"I don't have a problem with someone not wanting to date a swinger or someone who enjoys sex with multiple partners. I have a problem with the phrase "girlfriend material" ( or boyfriend material), the matter from which a thing can be made. It somehow implies to me that there are a certain set of criteria that you need to meet before you can be considered "material" suitable to moulded for a relationship. Some people will use the phrase in regard to people who don't swing because they want a swinging partner. That's just as bad in my eyes. People are people, you either want to date them or you don't but they aren't material to alter about to fit your ideal
It was me that used that phrase. Because they said they wouldn't want a girlfriend that was on a sex site."
Oh right. Well, you weren't right for each other then.
Do you see people as boyfriend material? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Perhaps it’s an age thing, other apps etc full of people dating and boasting about being boyfriend and girlfriend material or wifey material, everyone has a different view haha |
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I like dancing also. But I do draw the line when it comes to morris dancing. Holding a wurzel over my head and tapping another is fine. But jumping around like a loonatic with ribbons and bells attached to my arms and legs is a def NO NO |
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"Perhaps it’s an age thing, other apps etc full of people dating and boasting about being boyfriend and girlfriend material or wifey material, everyone has a different view haha"
No, it's always been a thing. When I was younger there were men who would date one type of woman until they were ready to settle down with the the type they would marry . The times I heard women referred to as "not the type of girl you'd take home to meet your mother"  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe it's not the perspective of because your on a sex site that your not girlfriend material maybe its just not what their looking for at the moment wouldnt matter if was you or anybody else if their mindset isn't that way inclined then its not down to you or a personal thing against you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe it's not the perspective of because your on a sex site that your not girlfriend material maybe its just not what their looking for at the moment wouldnt matter if was you or anybody else if their mindset isn't that way inclined then its not down to you or a personal thing against you"
It is. He said so. Would be nice to be able to PM you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't have a problem with someone not wanting to date a swinger or someone who enjoys sex with multiple partners. I have a problem with the phrase "girlfriend material" ( or boyfriend material), the matter from which a thing can be made. It somehow implies to me that there are a certain set of criteria that you need to meet before you can be considered "material" suitable to moulded for a relationship. Some people will use the phrase in regard to people who don't swing because they want a swinging partner. That's just as bad in my eyes. People are people, you either want to date them or you don't but they aren't material to alter about to fit your ideal
It was me that used that phrase. Because they said they wouldn't want a girlfriend that was on a sex site.
Oh right. Well, you weren't right for each other then.
Do you see people as boyfriend material?"
No |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I like dancing also. But I do draw the line when it comes to morris dancing. Holding a wurzel over my head and tapping another is fine. But jumping around like a loonatic with ribbons and bells attached to my arms and legs is a def NO NO"
Lol. You pass the 1st test. |
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Some people prefer not to know their new partners previous sexual history, like them to have a sense of "innocence" in that regard. It can make them feel less special if they know they're one in a list so to speak, and may not like the thought of many other men having already "seen the goods"
Of course most people have a history, but the majority of peoples past conquests are merely in their memories and not in black n white on a website.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Perhaps it’s an age thing, other apps etc full of people dating and boasting about being boyfriend and girlfriend material or wifey material, everyone has a different view haha
No, it's always been a thing. When I was younger there were men who would date one type of woman until they were ready to settle down with the the type they would marry . The times I heard women referred to as "not the type of girl you'd take home to meet your mother" "
Reminds me of a documentary I watched about men in their 20s who 'used' sex workers. The interviewer asked two men if they would date a sex worker. They both looked shocked and replied 'No, you wouldn't want a girlfriend doing what they do' - as in engage in the type of sexual activity depicted in pornographic films. |
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"I don't have a problem with someone not wanting to date a swinger or someone who enjoys sex with multiple partners. I have a problem with the phrase "girlfriend material" ( or boyfriend material), the matter from which a thing can be made. It somehow implies to me that there are a certain set of criteria that you need to meet before you can be considered "material" suitable to moulded for a relationship. Some people will use the phrase in regard to people who don't swing because they want a swinging partner. That's just as bad in my eyes. People are people, you either want to date them or you don't but they aren't material to alter about to fit your ideal
It was me that used that phrase. Because they said they wouldn't want a girlfriend that was on a sex site.
Oh right. Well, you weren't right for each other then.
Do you see people as boyfriend material?
No"
So basically then you're not what he's looking for and he was honest about the reasons why.
Did he say that nobody would want you as a girlfriend of just him? |
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Also, people can have a tendency to judge others based on their own behaviour or mindset. Human nature for the most part.
Look at how many men do have the "any hole's a goal" attitude on here... fucking tons. Look at how many men assume that women on here are horny 24/7, drop their knickers at the first sign of a flaccid cock that's peering down a u-bend, and they really do think if you're online you're looking for a meet right there and then. If that's their thought process then they aren't the kind of person I'd want to date or even engage with on any level, dunno about you but I highly doubt it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Both men were on here at the time
I felt judged because of where I am at the moment rather than who I am."
This is probably negging.
So, this is a tactic used to knock down your self esteem, making you more vulnerable to being used. It also works to separate out "stronger" women (that will push back and call them on their bullshit) from more vulnerable women that are less sure of themselves (because they don't want to waste their time on a woman that will argue back). The hope is that you'll start to seek their validation (say, by trying to prove that you're "girlfriend material").
If you continue after that they know they can get away with pretty much anything, and you'll just internalise it and let them get on with it. They'll try to break down any form of giving/taking consent so that you give up on it as a concept (e.g. by keeping trying things over and over in the hope you get exhausted and just let them). The longer it goes on the more self-esteem you lose, and the more you seek their validation.
I would strongly suggest you read up on PUA (pickup artist) techniques so that you can see red flags like this. |
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"Perhaps it’s an age thing, other apps etc full of people dating and boasting about being boyfriend and girlfriend material or wifey material, everyone has a different view haha
No, it's always been a thing. When I was younger there were men who would date one type of woman until they were ready to settle down with the the type they would marry . The times I heard women referred to as "not the type of girl you'd take home to meet your mother"
Reminds me of a documentary I watched about men in their 20s who 'used' sex workers. The interviewer asked two men if they would date a sex worker. They both looked shocked and replied 'No, you wouldn't want a girlfriend doing what they do' - as in engage in the type of sexual activity depicted in pornographic films."
Women think similarly too. Loads of my friends wouldn't want to settle down with a certain type of man but would happily date them.
If I was looking for a relationship there are certain criteria that are non negotiable for me. I'd be happy to meet men outside those criteria, have fun, some good sex etc but I'd make it clear from the start that I wasn't looking for any more than that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe it's not the perspective of because your on a sex site that your not girlfriend material maybe its just not what their looking for at the moment wouldnt matter if was you or anybody else if their mindset isn't that way inclined then its not down to you or a personal thing against you
It is. He said so. Would be nice to be able to PM you."
Pm me |
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"Perhaps it’s an age thing, other apps etc full of people dating and boasting about being boyfriend and girlfriend material or wifey material, everyone has a different view haha
No, it's always been a thing. When I was younger there were men who would date one type of woman until they were ready to settle down with the the type they would marry . The times I heard women referred to as "not the type of girl you'd take home to meet your mother" "
This has always been going on, same for young women who live their wild twenties enjoying all the fuck boy types for one night stands and then look for a nice guy to style down with and raise a family. They don’t bring the fuck boys home to meet the parents. |
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"Both men were on here at the time
I felt judged because of where I am at the moment rather than who I am.
This is probably negging.
So, this is a tactic used to knock down your self esteem, making you more vulnerable to being used. It also works to separate out "stronger" women (that will push back and call them on their bullshit) from more vulnerable women that are less sure of themselves (because they don't want to waste their time on a woman that will argue back). The hope is that you'll start to seek their validation (say, by trying to prove that you're "girlfriend material").
If you continue after that they know they can get away with pretty much anything, and you'll just internalise it and let them get on with it. They'll try to break down any form of giving/taking consent so that you give up on it as a concept (e.g. by keeping trying things over and over in the hope you get exhausted and just let them). The longer it goes on the more self-esteem you lose, and the more you seek their validation.
I would strongly suggest you read up on PUA (pickup artist) techniques so that you can see red flags like this."
But he didn't say she wasn't girlfriend material. She used the phrase herself. |
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"Perhaps it’s an age thing, other apps etc full of people dating and boasting about being boyfriend and girlfriend material or wifey material, everyone has a different view haha
No, it's always been a thing. When I was younger there were men who would date one type of woman until they were ready to settle down with the the type they would marry . The times I heard women referred to as "not the type of girl you'd take home to meet your mother"
This has always been going on, same for young women who live their wild twenties enjoying all the fuck boy types for one night stands and then look for a nice guy to style down with and raise a family. They don’t bring the fuck boys home to meet the parents."
Yep. |
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"I saw two gentlemen (perhaps not!) on here comment just yesterday that if a woman is on here then she deserves to be single- not looking for a bf realistically, but I suppose it had occurred to me that if I found one, all lines of communication are already open with no deal breaking secrets hidden away for the future- but those comments did sting a bit! Keen to know what folks think of single women here- do we deserve any respect? "
Firstly, that is a horrible thing for someone to say.
Second, if women on fab 'deserve' to be single then it is no different for men.
And lastly, that attitude is rooted in Victorian times. He clearly couldn't cope with an independent, modern woman. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Both men were on here at the time
I felt judged because of where I am at the moment rather than who I am.
This is probably negging.
So, this is a tactic used to knock down your self esteem, making you more vulnerable to being used. It also works to separate out "stronger" women (that will push back and call them on their bullshit) from more vulnerable women that are less sure of themselves (because they don't want to waste their time on a woman that will argue back). The hope is that you'll start to seek their validation (say, by trying to prove that you're "girlfriend material").
If you continue after that they know they can get away with pretty much anything, and you'll just internalise it and let them get on with it. They'll try to break down any form of giving/taking consent so that you give up on it as a concept (e.g. by keeping trying things over and over in the hope you get exhausted and just let them). The longer it goes on the more self-esteem you lose, and the more you seek their validation.
I would strongly suggest you read up on PUA (pickup artist) techniques so that you can see red flags like this.
But he didn't say she wasn't girlfriend material. She used the phrase herself."
Sure. I don't think it matters who used what phrase. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Also, people can have a tendency to judge others based on their own behaviour or mindset. Human nature for the most part.
Look at how many men do have the "any hole's a goal" attitude on here... fucking tons. Look at how many men assume that women on here are horny 24/7, drop their knickers at the first sign of a flaccid cock that's peering down a u-bend, and they really do think if you're online you're looking for a meet right there and then. If that's their thought process then they aren't the kind of person I'd want to date or even engage with on any level, dunno about you but I highly doubt it.
"
this is so true, not just men, but is in the main, I can't believe people are actually actively looking for meets, with what's going on at the moment, kinda says it all really |
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I have a feeling I'm going to get slated for this, but here goes.
Maybe I'm being thick, maybe I just don't understand other people, but what exactly is the issue here? The OP met / conversed with someone who has issues with her being on a sex site (hypocritical, maybe, but not unheard of) and she describes herself as "not girlfriend material". She also says she doesn't view (these) men as boyfriend material, so what am I missing? |
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"I have a feeling I'm going to get slated for this, but here goes.
Maybe I'm being thick, maybe I just don't understand other people, but what exactly is the issue here? The OP met / conversed with someone who has issues with her being on a sex site (hypocritical, maybe, but not unheard of) and she describes herself as "not girlfriend material". She also says she doesn't view (these) men as boyfriend material, so what am I missing? "
Feeling like her character (her "goodness", her worth I suppose) was being judged by the fact she's on the site. |
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"I have a feeling I'm going to get slated for this, but here goes.
Maybe I'm being thick, maybe I just don't understand other people, but what exactly is the issue here? The OP met / conversed with someone who has issues with her being on a sex site (hypocritical, maybe, but not unheard of) and she describes herself as "not girlfriend material". She also says she doesn't view (these) men as boyfriend material, so what am I missing?
Feeling like her character (her "goodness", her worth I suppose) was being judged by the fact she's on the site."
I think that's the crux of the !matter.
We've met quite a few single men who've told us that they would have too much respect for their future partner to swing. The implication being, whether they realise it or not, that as a couple there's no respect for me.
Like it or not we're going to be judged for being swingers, even if seems by other swingers |
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"I have a feeling I'm going to get slated for this, but here goes.
Maybe I'm being thick, maybe I just don't understand other people, but what exactly is the issue here? The OP met / conversed with someone who has issues with her being on a sex site (hypocritical, maybe, but not unheard of) and she describes herself as "not girlfriend material". She also says she doesn't view (these) men as boyfriend material, so what am I missing?
Feeling like her character (her "goodness", her worth I suppose) was being judged by the fact she's on the site."
It's the Madonna/whore thing. You're either a good wife and mother or you're fun. You can't be both. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Perhaps it’s an age thing, other apps etc full of people dating and boasting about being boyfriend and girlfriend material or wifey material, everyone has a different view haha
No, it's always been a thing. When I was younger there were men who would date one type of woman until they were ready to settle down with the the type they would marry . The times I heard women referred to as "not the type of girl you'd take home to meet your mother"
Reminds me of a documentary I watched about men in their 20s who 'used' sex workers. The interviewer asked two men if they would date a sex worker. They both looked shocked and replied 'No, you wouldn't want a girlfriend doing what they do' - as in engage in the type of sexual activity depicted in pornographic films."
Yeah
And its those men that come on here complaining their wives are dull or not putting out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have a feeling I'm going to get slated for this, but here goes.
Maybe I'm being thick, maybe I just don't understand other people, but what exactly is the issue here? The OP met / conversed with someone who has issues with her being on a sex site (hypocritical, maybe, but not unheard of) and she describes herself as "not girlfriend material". She also says she doesn't view (these) men as boyfriend material, so what am I missing?
Feeling like her character (her "goodness", her worth I suppose) was being judged by the fact she's on the site.
It's the Madonna/whore thing. You're either a good wife and mother or you're fun. You can't be both."
Exactly that |
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"I have a feeling I'm going to get slated for this, but here goes.
Maybe I'm being thick, maybe I just don't understand other people, but what exactly is the issue here? The OP met / conversed with someone who has issues with her being on a sex site (hypocritical, maybe, but not unheard of) and she describes herself as "not girlfriend material". She also says she doesn't view (these) men as boyfriend material, so what am I missing?
Feeling like her character (her "goodness", her worth I suppose) was being judged by the fact she's on the site.
It's the Madonna/whore thing. You're either a good wife and mother or you're fun. You can't be both."
Unless you're me coz I'm an all round legend.  
|
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"I have a feeling I'm going to get slated for this, but here goes.
Maybe I'm being thick, maybe I just don't understand other people, but what exactly is the issue here? The OP met / conversed with someone who has issues with her being on a sex site (hypocritical, maybe, but not unheard of) and she describes herself as "not girlfriend material". She also says she doesn't view (these) men as boyfriend material, so what am I missing?
Feeling like her character (her "goodness", her worth I suppose) was being judged by the fact she's on the site.
It's the Madonna/whore thing. You're either a good wife and mother or you're fun. You can't be both.
Unless you're me coz I'm an all round legend.
"
I know you are. Society got some catchin' up to do. |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Everyone deserves respect, full stop! Now, the guys in question probably think that if you're on here, then it automatically means you just want sex. It's just small minded and selfish thinking! |
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"I have a feeling I'm going to get slated for this, but here goes.
Maybe I'm being thick, maybe I just don't understand other people, but what exactly is the issue here? The OP met / conversed with someone who has issues with her being on a sex site (hypocritical, maybe, but not unheard of) and she describes herself as "not girlfriend material". She also says she doesn't view (these) men as boyfriend material, so what am I missing?
Feeling like her character (her "goodness", her worth I suppose) was being judged by the fact she's on the site.
It's the Madonna/whore thing. You're either a good wife and mother or you're fun. You can't be both.
Unless you're me coz I'm an all round legend.
"
Yes you bloodywell are Peach |
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"Everyone deserves respect, full stop! Now, the guys in question probably think that if you're on here, then it automatically means you just want sex. It's just small minded and selfish thinking!"
Yes. People who want sex deserve respect too. |
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"I have a feeling I'm going to get slated for this, but here goes.
Maybe I'm being thick, maybe I just don't understand other people, but what exactly is the issue here? The OP met / conversed with someone who has issues with her being on a sex site (hypocritical, maybe, but not unheard of) and she describes herself as "not girlfriend material". She also says she doesn't view (these) men as boyfriend material, so what am I missing?
Feeling like her character (her "goodness", her worth I suppose) was being judged by the fact she's on the site.
It's the Madonna/whore thing. You're either a good wife and mother or you're fun. You can't be both.
Unless you're me coz I'm an all round legend.
I know you are. Society got some catchin' up to do."
They do!
In truth tho, my role as a mummy bear definitely knocked the sauce outta me. Well, I don't know if that's true or not due to the bloke I was with when I was sauceless.
My son was without doubt tho part of the reason at the start that shenanigans were limited. |
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"I have a feeling I'm going to get slated for this, but here goes.
Maybe I'm being thick, maybe I just don't understand other people, but what exactly is the issue here? The OP met / conversed with someone who has issues with her being on a sex site (hypocritical, maybe, but not unheard of) and she describes herself as "not girlfriend material". She also says she doesn't view (these) men as boyfriend material, so what am I missing?
Feeling like her character (her "goodness", her worth I suppose) was being judged by the fact she's on the site.
It's the Madonna/whore thing. You're either a good wife and mother or you're fun. You can't be both.
Unless you're me coz I'm an all round legend.
I know you are. Society got some catchin' up to do.
They do!
In truth tho, my role as a mummy bear definitely knocked the sauce outta me. Well, I don't know if that's true or not due to the bloke I was with when I was sauceless.
My son was without doubt tho part of the reason at the start that shenanigans were limited. "
Oh I get that. To the extent I can.
But it's like, why can't women be fun and girlfriend material? Whole people and all that jazz? |
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"I have a feeling I'm going to get slated for this, but here goes.
Maybe I'm being thick, maybe I just don't understand other people, but what exactly is the issue here? The OP met / conversed with someone who has issues with her being on a sex site (hypocritical, maybe, but not unheard of) and she describes herself as "not girlfriend material". She also says she doesn't view (these) men as boyfriend material, so what am I missing?
Feeling like her character (her "goodness", her worth I suppose) was being judged by the fact she's on the site.
It's the Madonna/whore thing. You're either a good wife and mother or you're fun. You can't be both.
Unless you're me coz I'm an all round legend.
I know you are. Society got some catchin' up to do.
They do!
In truth tho, my role as a mummy bear definitely knocked the sauce outta me. Well, I don't know if that's true or not due to the bloke I was with when I was sauceless.
My son was without doubt tho part of the reason at the start that shenanigans were limited.
Oh I get that. To the extent I can.
But it's like, why can't women be fun and girlfriend material? Whole people and all that jazz?"
Coz people are selfish and just want the bits that suit them.
They also idolise parts of others, yet they can be the parts that put them off anything deeper.
With me there's the whole "wild spirit, outspoken and strong moral core" that many are in awe of, yet they're the same things that can also be my "downfalls" as far as relationship material goes.
They like a woman who knows what she wants, but not one that will appear too much in control or steadfast, coz she could be stubborn.
The list goes on and on.
|
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"I have a feeling I'm going to get slated for this, but here goes.
Maybe I'm being thick, maybe I just don't understand other people, but what exactly is the issue here? The OP met / conversed with someone who has issues with her being on a sex site (hypocritical, maybe, but not unheard of) and she describes herself as "not girlfriend material". She also says she doesn't view (these) men as boyfriend material, so what am I missing?
Feeling like her character (her "goodness", her worth I suppose) was being judged by the fact she's on the site.
It's the Madonna/whore thing. You're either a good wife and mother or you're fun. You can't be both.
Unless you're me coz I'm an all round legend.
I know you are. Society got some catchin' up to do.
They do!
In truth tho, my role as a mummy bear definitely knocked the sauce outta me. Well, I don't know if that's true or not due to the bloke I was with when I was sauceless.
My son was without doubt tho part of the reason at the start that shenanigans were limited.
Oh I get that. To the extent I can.
But it's like, why can't women be fun and girlfriend material? Whole people and all that jazz?
Coz people are selfish and just want the bits that suit them.
They also idolise parts of others, yet they can be the parts that put them off anything deeper.
With me there's the whole "wild spirit, outspoken and strong moral core" that many are in awe of, yet they're the same things that can also be my "downfalls" as far as relationship material goes.
They like a woman who knows what she wants, but not one that will appear too much in control or steadfast, coz she could be stubborn.
The list goes on and on.
"
Then they should get a doll and fuck off. |
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"I have a feeling I'm going to get slated for this, but here goes.
Maybe I'm being thick, maybe I just don't understand other people, but what exactly is the issue here? The OP met / conversed with someone who has issues with her being on a sex site (hypocritical, maybe, but not unheard of) and she describes herself as "not girlfriend material". She also says she doesn't view (these) men as boyfriend material, so what am I missing?
Feeling like her character (her "goodness", her worth I suppose) was being judged by the fact she's on the site.
It's the Madonna/whore thing. You're either a good wife and mother or you're fun. You can't be both.
Unless you're me coz I'm an all round legend.
I know you are. Society got some catchin' up to do.
They do!
In truth tho, my role as a mummy bear definitely knocked the sauce outta me. Well, I don't know if that's true or not due to the bloke I was with when I was sauceless.
My son was without doubt tho part of the reason at the start that shenanigans were limited.
Oh I get that. To the extent I can.
But it's like, why can't women be fun and girlfriend material? Whole people and all that jazz?
Coz people are selfish and just want the bits that suit them.
They also idolise parts of others, yet they can be the parts that put them off anything deeper.
With me there's the whole "wild spirit, outspoken and strong moral core" that many are in awe of, yet they're the same things that can also be my "downfalls" as far as relationship material goes.
They like a woman who knows what she wants, but not one that will appear too much in control or steadfast, coz she could be stubborn.
The list goes on and on.
Then they should get a doll and fuck off."
They should make dolls who's hands are flipping the bird, the middle accidentally goes up his poop chute. |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have a feeling I'm going to get slated for this, but here goes.
Maybe I'm being thick, maybe I just don't understand other people, but what exactly is the issue here? The OP met / conversed with someone who has issues with her being on a sex site (hypocritical, maybe, but not unheard of) and she describes herself as "not girlfriend material". She also says she doesn't view (these) men as boyfriend material, so what am I missing?
Feeling like her character (her "goodness", her worth I suppose) was being judged by the fact she's on the site.
It's the Madonna/whore thing. You're either a good wife and mother or you're fun. You can't be both.
Unless you're me coz I'm an all round legend.
I know you are. Society got some catchin' up to do.
They do!
In truth tho, my role as a mummy bear definitely knocked the sauce outta me. Well, I don't know if that's true or not due to the bloke I was with when I was sauceless.
My son was without doubt tho part of the reason at the start that shenanigans were limited.
Oh I get that. To the extent I can.
But it's like, why can't women be fun and girlfriend material? Whole people and all that jazz?
Coz people are selfish and just want the bits that suit them.
They also idolise parts of others, yet they can be the parts that put them off anything deeper.
With me there's the whole "wild spirit, outspoken and strong moral core" that many are in awe of, yet they're the same things that can also be my "downfalls" as far as relationship material goes.
They like a woman who knows what she wants, but not one that will appear too much in control or steadfast, coz she could be stubborn.
The list goes on and on.
Then they should get a doll and fuck off."
Yeah
One thats good at darning socks and likes being fisted |
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"I have a feeling I'm going to get slated for this, but here goes.
Maybe I'm being thick, maybe I just don't understand other people, but what exactly is the issue here? The OP met / conversed with someone who has issues with her being on a sex site (hypocritical, maybe, but not unheard of) and she describes herself as "not girlfriend material". She also says she doesn't view (these) men as boyfriend material, so what am I missing?
Feeling like her character (her "goodness", her worth I suppose) was being judged by the fact she's on the site.
It's the Madonna/whore thing. You're either a good wife and mother or you're fun. You can't be both.
Unless you're me coz I'm an all round legend.
I know you are. Society got some catchin' up to do.
They do!
In truth tho, my role as a mummy bear definitely knocked the sauce outta me. Well, I don't know if that's true or not due to the bloke I was with when I was sauceless.
My son was without doubt tho part of the reason at the start that shenanigans were limited.
Oh I get that. To the extent I can.
But it's like, why can't women be fun and girlfriend material? Whole people and all that jazz?
Coz people are selfish and just want the bits that suit them.
They also idolise parts of others, yet they can be the parts that put them off anything deeper.
With me there's the whole "wild spirit, outspoken and strong moral core" that many are in awe of, yet they're the same things that can also be my "downfalls" as far as relationship material goes.
They like a woman who knows what she wants, but not one that will appear too much in control or steadfast, coz she could be stubborn.
The list goes on and on.
Then they should get a doll and fuck off.
Yeah
One thats good at darning socks and likes being fisted"
No that's too complicated. Two dolls. |
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or View forums list | |
"I have a feeling I'm going to get slated for this, but here goes.
Maybe I'm being thick, maybe I just don't understand other people, but what exactly is the issue here? The OP met / conversed with someone who has issues with her being on a sex site (hypocritical, maybe, but not unheard of) and she describes herself as "not girlfriend material". She also says she doesn't view (these) men as boyfriend material, so what am I missing?
Feeling like her character (her "goodness", her worth I suppose) was being judged by the fact she's on the site.
It's the Madonna/whore thing. You're either a good wife and mother or you're fun. You can't be both.
Unless you're me coz I'm an all round legend.
I know you are. Society got some catchin' up to do.
They do!
In truth tho, my role as a mummy bear definitely knocked the sauce outta me. Well, I don't know if that's true or not due to the bloke I was with when I was sauceless.
My son was without doubt tho part of the reason at the start that shenanigans were limited.
Oh I get that. To the extent I can.
But it's like, why can't women be fun and girlfriend material? Whole people and all that jazz?
Coz people are selfish and just want the bits that suit them.
They also idolise parts of others, yet they can be the parts that put them off anything deeper.
With me there's the whole "wild spirit, outspoken and strong moral core" that many are in awe of, yet they're the same things that can also be my "downfalls" as far as relationship material goes.
They like a woman who knows what she wants, but not one that will appear too much in control or steadfast, coz she could be stubborn.
The list goes on and on.
Then they should get a doll and fuck off.
They should make dolls who's hands are flipping the bird, the middle accidentally goes up his poop chute. "
 |
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"So to sum up this thread, it seems that it's all men's fault again for some unfathomable reason.  "
Well it wasn't a woman that told the OP she wasn't worthy of a relationship because she was on here.
I also don't think people were blaming anyone for anything as such, merely talking of our own experiences and thought processes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For the 2nd time because I'm on a sex site."
Well you won't be for some and you may be for others you can't please all the people all the time. But I wouldn't let it bother you. |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have a feeling I'm going to get slated for this, but here goes.
Maybe I'm being thick, maybe I just don't understand other people, but what exactly is the issue here? The OP met / conversed with someone who has issues with her being on a sex site (hypocritical, maybe, but not unheard of) and she describes herself as "not girlfriend material". She also says she doesn't view (these) men as boyfriend material, so what am I missing?
Feeling like her character (her "goodness", her worth I suppose) was being judged by the fact she's on the site.
It's the Madonna/whore thing. You're either a good wife and mother or you're fun. You can't be both.
Unless you're me coz I'm an all round legend.
I know you are. Society got some catchin' up to do.
They do!
In truth tho, my role as a mummy bear definitely knocked the sauce outta me. Well, I don't know if that's true or not due to the bloke I was with when I was sauceless.
My son was without doubt tho part of the reason at the start that shenanigans were limited.
Oh I get that. To the extent I can.
But it's like, why can't women be fun and girlfriend material? Whole people and all that jazz?
Coz people are selfish and just want the bits that suit them.
They also idolise parts of others, yet they can be the parts that put them off anything deeper.
With me there's the whole "wild spirit, outspoken and strong moral core" that many are in awe of, yet they're the same things that can also be my "downfalls" as far as relationship material goes.
They like a woman who knows what she wants, but not one that will appear too much in control or steadfast, coz she could be stubborn.
The list goes on and on.
Then they should get a doll and fuck off.
Yeah
One thats good at darning socks and likes being fisted
No that's too complicated. Two dolls."
They could sell them with accessories. Like Barbie
Pinny doll. Comes with her own set of Pyrex.
Ball gag doll
Large hipped doll.
|
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"I have a feeling I'm going to get slated for this, but here goes.
Maybe I'm being thick, maybe I just don't understand other people, but what exactly is the issue here? The OP met / conversed with someone who has issues with her being on a sex site (hypocritical, maybe, but not unheard of) and she describes herself as "not girlfriend material". She also says she doesn't view (these) men as boyfriend material, so what am I missing?
Feeling like her character (her "goodness", her worth I suppose) was being judged by the fact she's on the site.
It's the Madonna/whore thing. You're either a good wife and mother or you're fun. You can't be both.
Unless you're me coz I'm an all round legend.
I know you are. Society got some catchin' up to do.
They do!
In truth tho, my role as a mummy bear definitely knocked the sauce outta me. Well, I don't know if that's true or not due to the bloke I was with when I was sauceless.
My son was without doubt tho part of the reason at the start that shenanigans were limited.
Oh I get that. To the extent I can.
But it's like, why can't women be fun and girlfriend material? Whole people and all that jazz?
Coz people are selfish and just want the bits that suit them.
They also idolise parts of others, yet they can be the parts that put them off anything deeper.
With me there's the whole "wild spirit, outspoken and strong moral core" that many are in awe of, yet they're the same things that can also be my "downfalls" as far as relationship material goes.
They like a woman who knows what she wants, but not one that will appear too much in control or steadfast, coz she could be stubborn.
The list goes on and on.
Then they should get a doll and fuck off.
Yeah
One thats good at darning socks and likes being fisted
No that's too complicated. Two dolls.
They could sell them with accessories. Like Barbie
Pinny doll. Comes with her own set of Pyrex.
Ball gag doll
Large hipped doll.
"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have a feeling I'm going to get slated for this, but here goes.
Maybe I'm being thick, maybe I just don't understand other people, but what exactly is the issue here? The OP met / conversed with someone who has issues with her being on a sex site (hypocritical, maybe, but not unheard of) and she describes herself as "not girlfriend material". She also says she doesn't view (these) men as boyfriend material, so what am I missing?
Feeling like her character (her "goodness", her worth I suppose) was being judged by the fact she's on the site.
It's the Madonna/whore thing. You're either a good wife and mother or you're fun. You can't be both.
Unless you're me coz I'm an all round legend.
"
Bloody right, Peachy! I would like to think I'm both too... Time will tell
Mrs TMN x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Turn my back and the thread gets weird
Basically the main one is someone on here that I've known for about 18 months,met a few times,chatted a lot. Recently got himself a girlfriend. I asked why it wasn't me. He said he didn't want me as a girlfriend. When I finally got him to tell me why he said it was because of how we met. It upset me because he rated me because of Fabs not by who I am. |
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"Turn my back and the thread gets weird
Basically the main one is someone on here that I've known for about 18 months,met a few times,chatted a lot. Recently got himself a girlfriend. I asked why it wasn't me. He said he didn't want me as a girlfriend. When I finally got him to tell me why he said it was because of how we met. It upset me because he rated me because of Fabs not by who I am."
That could have easily been an excuse in all honesty.
How many times to blokes ask why when you decline a meet and you say something that you think won't hurt their feelings. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For the 2nd time because I'm on a sex site."
Well from my experience I’ve meet the love of my life via Fabs. It also helped that we both have filthy minds 
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well seems I’m not boyfriend material either but also struggling to meet people on here too so not sure where I’ve gone wrong . "
Are you looking for a partner? |
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Sounds to me like they just weren't into you for more than casual meets and just used that as a polite excuse...kind of like when people say they already have plans when they want to turn down an invitation without being blunt.
But, everybody is different, and there will be people that wouldn't want to have a relationship with people from here, just as there are people that would and actively seek such. That's life...I just tend to seek out those that I'm compatible with
|
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"Turn my back and the thread gets weird
Basically the main one is someone on here that I've known for about 18 months,met a few times,chatted a lot. Recently got himself a girlfriend. I asked why it wasn't me. He said he didn't want me as a girlfriend. When I finally got him to tell me why he said it was because of how we met. It upset me because he rated me because of Fabs not by who I am."
Did he ever lead you to believe he was interested in you as a girlfriend? |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Been on here 6 years this year. On and off.
Didn't come here looking for any kind of relationship.
Some here have met, fallen in love and married.
Some set up together
It to me is whatever you want it to be.
It's a great way to meet and chat to others
Its a good place to go to clubs and basically have sex with each other consented of course.
Still not here to have a relationship. I like my freedom too much.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Turn my back and the thread gets weird
Basically the main one is someone on here that I've known for about 18 months,met a few times,chatted a lot. Recently got himself a girlfriend. I asked why it wasn't me. He said he didn't want me as a girlfriend. When I finally got him to tell me why he said it was because of how we met. It upset me because he rated me because of Fabs not by who I am.
Did he ever lead you to believe he was interested in you as a girlfriend? "
He led me to believe he didn't want a girlfriend at all |
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"Turn my back and the thread gets weird
Basically the main one is someone on here that I've known for about 18 months,met a few times,chatted a lot. Recently got himself a girlfriend. I asked why it wasn't me. He said he didn't want me as a girlfriend. When I finally got him to tell me why he said it was because of how we met. It upset me because he rated me because of Fabs not by who I am.
Did he ever lead you to believe he was interested in you as a girlfriend?
He led me to believe he didn't want a girlfriend at all"
I didn't want a relationship when I fell for my ex.
It happens.
People change.
People build connections they weren't expecting or looking for.
Don't take it personally, he found a connection with her that he didn't find with you.
Pushing him for "Why's" will just make things awkward and do fuck all for your confidence |
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"Turn my back and the thread gets weird
Basically the main one is someone on here that I've known for about 18 months,met a few times,chatted a lot. Recently got himself a girlfriend. I asked why it wasn't me. He said he didn't want me as a girlfriend. When I finally got him to tell me why he said it was because of how we met. It upset me because he rated me because of Fabs not by who I am.
Did he ever lead you to believe he was interested in you as a girlfriend?
He led me to believe he didn't want a girlfriend at all
I didn't want a relationship when I fell for my ex.
It happens.
People change.
People build connections they weren't expecting or looking for.
Don't take it personally, he found a connection with her that he didn't find with you.
Pushing him for "Why's" will just make things awkward and do fuck all for your confidence "
Totally this ^ |
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"Turn my back and the thread gets weird
Basically the main one is someone on here that I've known for about 18 months,met a few times,chatted a lot. Recently got himself a girlfriend. I asked why it wasn't me. He said he didn't want me as a girlfriend. When I finally got him to tell me why he said it was because of how we met. It upset me because he rated me because of Fabs not by who I am.
Did he ever lead you to believe he was interested in you as a girlfriend?
He led me to believe he didn't want a girlfriend at all"
Got ya'. So in essence he hasn't given you any indication that he wanted a girlfriend but you're feeling a bit cast aside because he's gone and got himself one. It's not a nice feeling but it's not a reflection on the way you live your life more a case of different expectations. Do you feel that you're somehow wrong for being here? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They’re clearly not boyfriend material.
Men are allowed to have sexual appetites but apparently women are not.
I couldn’t date a guy on here especially if he’s on an app and he’s stating he wants a serious relationship....and most guy from dating apps are on here I wouldn’t say there’s much difference between fab and ‘dating sites’ |
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"I like dancing also. But I do draw the line when it comes to morris dancing. Holding a wurzel over my head and tapping another is fine. But jumping around like a loonatic with ribbons and bells attached to my arms and legs is a def NO NO
Lol. You pass the 1st test."
And the second test !!! Instead of knitting a willie warmer. I'LL just fold a scarf in half and stitch the edges. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some people approach who they meet on here with a different mindset than they would under non swinging site conditions.
This is not because they think any less of the person but rather to protect themselves from any chance of feelings occurring when most people on here are not looking for that and when you formed a friendship relationship its hard to change to something else. |
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By *lowhands7Man
over a year ago
South Leicestershire / Burton on Trent |
Fuck em, if they don't like who you are and what you like they'll turn into a jealous partner and therefore they are obviously not for you. Keep smiling and keep your net in the water |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I like dancing also. But I do draw the line when it comes to morris dancing. Holding a wurzel over my head and tapping another is fine. But jumping around like a loonatic with ribbons and bells attached to my arms and legs is a def NO NO
Lol. You pass the 1st test.And the second test !!! Instead of knitting a willie warmer. I'LL just fold a scarf in half and stitch the edges. "
I can only knit scarves  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a feeling I'm going to get slated for this, but here goes.
Maybe I'm being thick, maybe I just don't understand other people, but what exactly is the issue here? The OP met / conversed with someone who has issues with her being on a sex site (hypocritical, maybe, but not unheard of) and she describes herself as "not girlfriend material". She also says she doesn't view (these) men as boyfriend material, so what am I missing? "
Indeed. The double standards are staggering!
They are both saying the same thing. Yet the man is slated as some horrible shitbag and the woman is an angel. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Turn my back and the thread gets weird
Basically the main one is someone on here that I've known for about 18 months,met a few times,chatted a lot. Recently got himself a girlfriend. I asked why it wasn't me. He said he didn't want me as a girlfriend. When I finally got him to tell me why he said it was because of how we met. It upset me because he rated me because of Fabs not by who I am.
Did he ever lead you to believe he was interested in you as a girlfriend?
He led me to believe he didn't want a girlfriend at all"
He probably didn't. Sometimes someone just comes along and turns things on their head. It just means you're not compatible. |
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