FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Fabs has definately got ruder in time
Fabs has definately got ruder in time
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Think i joined 2014 ish and can honestly say people have got a lot ruder on here . When you message theres not even a polite no thanks . Its just delete .
Personally i think there is now overload of single men on this site now thats handy for when the pubs chuck out .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How is that rude?
Admittedly, if you started speaking to someone in the street and they just turned their back on you, depending on what you said, it could be seen as rude. Most people don't because they are far to polite buy, I would say lots want to!
But here, you can just ignore it if you are not interested. I don't see that as rude. The expectation of a response is a little presumptive! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's not rude, it's just people deciding that their time is better spent elsewhere, instead of replying to everyone that they don't fancy, and then dealing with any ensuing fallout. Just accept you're not a match and move on  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think i joined 2014 ish and can honestly say people have got a lot ruder on here . When you message theres not even a polite no thanks . Its just delete .
Personally i think there is now overload of single men on this site now thats handy for when the pubs chuck out .
"
How many "no thanks" replies did you get in 2014? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think i joined 2014 ish and can honestly say people have got a lot ruder on here . When you message theres not even a polite no thanks . Its just delete .
Personally i think there is now overload of single men on this site now thats handy for when the pubs chuck out .
How many "no thanks" replies did you get in 2014?"
Also, how many women have replied 'no thanks' only to receive another message asking why not or even abuse? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think i joined 2014 ish and can honestly say people have got a lot ruder on here . When you message theres not even a polite no thanks . Its just delete .
Personally i think there is now overload of single men on this site now thats handy for when the pubs chuck out .
"
Yeah, I remember when all this was Ceefax and the men used to doff their hats and the women would giggle and curtsy ‘Why MrClungerSmasher , you’ve made me blush with your talk of entering my back doors in the back of your carriage!’
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think i joined 2014 ish and can honestly say people have got a lot ruder on here . When you message theres not even a polite no thanks . Its just delete .
Personally i think there is now overload of single men on this site now thats handy for when the pubs chuck out .
How many "no thanks" replies did you get in 2014?
Also, how many women have replied 'no thanks' only to receive another message asking why not or even abuse? "
99.98999999889888% |
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I don't see it as rude at all. The vast majority of the messages we get are not worth the effort of replying with even a couple of of words. Typing "No thanks" takes more effort and imagination than what most people write to us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Op if you get junk mail to your house, do you get your wee typewriter out, write a ‘hello, thank you for your letter but sadly I’m not interested in the annual cloud magazine 2020. Kind regards’ then go and buy an envelope and a stamp and post it?
Nah, me either |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not rude at all, with the amount of messages my gf gets on here it would be a full time job to reply No thanks to them all! Plus, most of what she receives makes her skin crawl! |
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I get alot of messages and answer loads but not all. Every message i answer they answer back and it all becomes impossible, stressful and too time consuming. All my messages are much appreciated but it gets crazy and i do not feel men will everfully understand what it is like. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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what single men don't understand is that ladies and couples are busy doing other stuff in life and not necessarily looking. They could be talking to establishedfriends on here...
id suggest you'd have a better chance of a reply when they have at least a status up
d |
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The forums have got a bit tense lately but I put that down to the pandemic and the associated issues with that stress, meets etc.
It’s only a small handful of posters who always seem to be in the middle of it.
On the whole it’s a great community. |
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"Op if you get junk mail to your house, do you get your wee typewriter out, write a ‘hello, thank you for your letter but sadly I’m not interested in the annual cloud magazine 2020. Kind regards’ then go and buy an envelope and a stamp and post it?
Nah, me either "
I always post back the bulk of the letter, not including anything with my address on, in the pre paid envelope. What most people don’t realise is; the prepaid envelope only costs the firm who sent you it, when you post it back to them   |
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..
"Think i joined 2014 ish and can honestly say people have got a lot ruder on here . When you message theres not even a polite no thanks . Its just delete.
I think there is now an overload of single men on this site that's handy for when the pubs chuck out.
"
Went wrong when it became well-known guys thought women would be on here begging for sex not realising it styles site not dating app.
The majority moved on so getting back with you ok. |
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"as a woman with a lot of messages, for me life's too short to reply with a no thanks to everyone of them"
Exactly this! Especially if you're too lazy to read someone's bio to see if you fit their criteria.
If we post a new picture we will get at least 100 messages within 24 hours (not bragging, just how it is). Of those 100, maybe 10 will meet our criteria and of those 10 only 2 might tick all our boxes. We're not on here to be office administrators. We don't always get replies to our messages either so ya know what we do? We move on.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's totally not possible to reply to every single msg I get. On occasion I have replied to someone who is not my type but they saw it as encouragement & sent msg after msg after msg trying to convince me that they are my type, then got abusive etc... Unfortunately they are a few not so nice Men on here.
So honestly OP do you really expect a Reply from every one you msg on here when Women can receive a 1,000+ msgs in a day  Saying that I always reply to a compliment but jeez I ain't gonna reply to an STI infected Dick asking 'wanna fk now`. Not aimed at you OP obviously.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think i joined 2014 ish and can honestly say people have got a lot ruder on here . When you message theres not even a polite no thanks . Its just delete .
Personally i think there is now overload of single men on this site now thats handy for when the pubs chuck out .
"
That is why you have a notepad
if you message anyone and they delete without reply, or they are polite and say thank you but no;
you simply add that note on their profile name so that you know not to message them again, or indeed you block
but I find a note is enough to remind me not to message again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think i joined 2014 ish and can honestly say people have got a lot ruder on here . When you message theres not even a polite no thanks . Its just delete .
Personally i think there is now overload of single men on this site now thats handy for when the pubs chuck out .
How many "no thanks" replies did you get in 2014?
Also, how many women have replied 'no thanks' only to receive another message asking why not or even abuse? "
Yes this happens, and sometimes when you say "sorry you aren't for me" it is immediately followed by another message saying "why not?" Etc... etc... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My profile clearly status not interested but still get ridiculous amounts of messages so I just mass delete I don’t even bother looking. Those of interest to me have my details to contact me away from site. I do hide a lot too. The amount of repeat messages I get because I haven’t answered and the abuse is just ridiculous. If I have a hour free and reply to say no thanks I get messages back saying why? Etc etc or a thanks for replying which I know guys mean well but is more frustrating as just adds to more messages |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Op if you get junk mail to your house, do you get your wee typewriter out, write a ‘hello, thank you for your letter but sadly I’m not interested in the annual cloud magazine 2020. Kind regards’ then go and buy an envelope and a stamp and post it?
Nah, me either
I always post back the bulk of the letter, not including anything with my address on, in the pre paid envelope. What most people don’t realise is; the prepaid envelope only costs the firm who sent you it, when you post it back to them "
Feels like a lotttttt of effort |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No reply is a no thanks, it's literally in the site rules, dude. "
I agree with this OP. Rude, omg you should read some of the rude messages I get. Rude in a derogatory way. Still fab always been like it.
As for after 10pm. Any closing time on fab it would fill out.
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"Op if you get junk mail to your house, do you get your wee typewriter out, write a ‘hello, thank you for your letter but sadly I’m not interested in the annual cloud magazine 2020. Kind regards’ then go and buy an envelope and a stamp and post it?
Nah, me either
I always post back the bulk of the letter, not including anything with my address on, in the pre paid envelope. What most people don’t realise is; the prepaid envelope only costs the firm who sent you it, when you post it back to them
Feels like a lotttttt of effort "
No wonder you don’t reply to messages in Fab then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think i joined 2014 ish and can honestly say people have got a lot ruder on here . When you message theres not even a polite no thanks . Its just delete .
Personally i think there is now overload of single men on this site now thats handy for when the pubs chuck out .
How many "no thanks" replies did you get in 2014?
Also, how many women have replied 'no thanks' only to receive another message asking why not or even abuse? "
This too OP.
Maybe your message was rude or derogatory like a few of mine have been over the years.
I don't respond to that kind of message. A straight block sadly. |
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When you get a message off a guy saying he wants to insert his cock in your back passage and it’s not your preference, do you reply back to say no thanks or ignore?
Thank me later
But don’t send me a message to do so as I won’t reply  |
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"Think i joined 2014 ish and can honestly say people have got a lot ruder on here . When you message theres not even a polite no thanks . Its just delete .
Personally i think there is now overload of single men on this site now thats handy for when the pubs chuck out .
That is why you have a notepad
if you message anyone and they delete without reply, or they are polite and say thank you but no;
you simply add that note on their profile name so that you know not to message them again, or indeed you block
but I find a note is enough to remind me not to message again"
I really wish all guys would use this function. I have now started to block on the second, identical message received. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"as a woman with a lot of messages, for me life's too short to reply with a no thanks to everyone of them"
We used to reply and be polite but then guys don't want to take no as answer and carry on messaging so after 10 years we have decided nope not responding anymore. We even say we won't respond in our profile which shows how many men don't read. I am only saying men here as they are the only ones who can message us due to our filters. |
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"as a woman with a lot of messages, for me life's too short to reply with a no thanks to everyone of them
We used to reply and be polite but then guys don't want to take no as answer and carry on messaging so after 10 years we have decided nope not responding anymore. We even say we won't respond in our profile which shows how many men don't read. I am only saying men here as they are the only ones who can message us due to our filters. "
If you reply you break any future filter. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"as a woman with a lot of messages, for me life's too short to reply with a no thanks to everyone of them
We used to reply and be polite but then guys don't want to take no as answer and carry on messaging so after 10 years we have decided nope not responding anymore. We even say we won't respond in our profile which shows how many men don't read. I am only saying men here as they are the only ones who can message us due to our filters.
If you reply you break any future filter."
This one surprises me, it pretty much says that your preferences can't change or someone you may have messaged in a forum game for example can still message you for years and years and years unless you block them. |
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"as a woman with a lot of messages, for me life's too short to reply with a no thanks to everyone of them
We used to reply and be polite but then guys don't want to take no as answer and carry on messaging so after 10 years we have decided nope not responding anymore. We even say we won't respond in our profile which shows how many men don't read. I am only saying men here as they are the only ones who can message us due to our filters.
If you reply you break any future filter.
This one surprises me, it pretty much says that your preferences can't change or someone you may have messaged in a forum game for example can still message you for years and years and years unless you block them."
I get messages from people I must have messaged when I first joined Fab. They're the only unsolicited messages I'm getting at the moment because my filters are set to no |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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While not getting a response can be frustrating, I think the expectation that you should get one is equally frustrating.
A 'no thanks' is nice, but the expectation that anyone owes you their time is odd. Just move on! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i dont think its got ruder.
always been that way.
i always recommend women using the message filters. that way you message the one you think is right for you. if he is a wally block him start again.
saves all that mailbox overload and less stress.
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"How is that rude?
Admittedly, if you started speaking to someone in the street and they just turned their back on you, depending on what you said, it could be seen as rude. Most people don't because they are far to polite buy, I would say lots want to!
But here, you can just ignore it if you are not interested. I don't see that as rude. The expectation of a response is a little presumptive!"
If men spoke to me in the street the way they message me on here, getting ignored is the absolute best outcome they could expect. Calling the police would be more likely. |
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"How is that rude?
Admittedly, if you started speaking to someone in the street and they just turned their back on you, depending on what you said, it could be seen as rude. Most people don't because they are far to polite buy, I would say lots want to!
But here, you can just ignore it if you are not interested. I don't see that as rude. The expectation of a response is a little presumptive!
If men spoke to me in the street the way they message me on here, getting ignored is the absolute best outcome they could expect. Calling the police would be more likely."
Yes.
"Would you ignore someone in the street?"
One, if I had people talking to me at the kind of volume I can get on here (depending on filters), then yes, I'd run like hell. Less talking and more crushed by mob.
Two, if they said the things I get on here, I'd at least look to escape. |
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"How is that rude?
Admittedly, if you started speaking to someone in the street and they just turned their back on you, depending on what you said, it could be seen as rude. Most people don't because they are far to polite buy, I would say lots want to!
But here, you can just ignore it if you are not interested. I don't see that as rude. The expectation of a response is a little presumptive!
If men spoke to me in the street the way they message me on here, getting ignored is the absolute best outcome they could expect. Calling the police would be more likely.
Yes.
"Would you ignore someone in the street?"
One, if I had people talking to me at the kind of volume I can get on here (depending on filters), then yes, I'd run like hell. Less talking and more crushed by mob.
Two, if they said the things I get on here, I'd at least look to escape."
I mean, I’m not a fan of being approached by men in the street, experience has shown that it’s rarely going to be a pleasant interaction. So I do routinely ignore them. But if it was like here, can you imagine? One man approaches you, says hi, and whips out his erect penis. Two minutes later another one yells “I want to tie you up and fuck you in every hole”. Shortly after that, a man corners you to tell you his r*pe fantasy in excruciating detail. Then someone calls you a dirty whore. Someone else offers to pay you. Another man waves his dick at you. Etc etc.
Thank fuck it’s only on here where I can use the delete button, if it happened out there I’d be too scared to leave the house! |
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"How is that rude?
Admittedly, if you started speaking to someone in the street and they just turned their back on you, depending on what you said, it could be seen as rude. Most people don't because they are far to polite buy, I would say lots want to!
But here, you can just ignore it if you are not interested. I don't see that as rude. The expectation of a response is a little presumptive!
If men spoke to me in the street the way they message me on here, getting ignored is the absolute best outcome they could expect. Calling the police would be more likely.
Yes.
"Would you ignore someone in the street?"
One, if I had people talking to me at the kind of volume I can get on here (depending on filters), then yes, I'd run like hell. Less talking and more crushed by mob.
Two, if they said the things I get on here, I'd at least look to escape.
I mean, I’m not a fan of being approached by men in the street, experience has shown that it’s rarely going to be a pleasant interaction. So I do routinely ignore them. But if it was like here, can you imagine? One man approaches you, says hi, and whips out his erect penis. Two minutes later another one yells “I want to tie you up and fuck you in every hole”. Shortly after that, a man corners you to tell you his r*pe fantasy in excruciating detail. Then someone calls you a dirty whore. Someone else offers to pay you. Another man waves his dick at you. Etc etc.
Thank fuck it’s only on here where I can use the delete button, if it happened out there I’d be too scared to leave the house!"
Absolutely!
I dislike "smile, love" enough let alone the common charm on here... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"as a woman with a lot of messages, for me life's too short to reply with a no thanks to everyone of them
We used to reply and be polite but then guys don't want to take no as answer and carry on messaging so after 10 years we have decided nope not responding anymore. We even say we won't respond in our profile which shows how many men don't read. I am only saying men here as they are the only ones who can message us due to our filters.
If you reply you break any future filter."
Jeez I never knew this ^^^^
``If you reply you break any future filter`` , Good to know |
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By *RSTCouple
over a year ago
S. Northants |
I think people used to read profiles. On our old profile (and a bit on this one) we used to get abuse, accusations of being fake etc. The rude people have always been there unfortunately and ruin the experience for those who are genuinely looking, like us.
As for not replying, if someone is messaging who clearly hasn't taken a slightest bit of notice of what our profile says then we will simply delete. However, if someone has made an effort and clearly taken 2 minutes out of their day to message us something personal then will reply, even if a polite no thanks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think i joined 2014 ish and can honestly say people have got a lot ruder on here . When you message theres not even a polite no thanks . Its just delete .
Personally i think there is now overload of single men on this site now thats handy for when the pubs chuck out .
"
If people bother to read my profile.. I do clearly state that no reply or delete is a polite no thank you.
I had a few guys message me constantly and hurl abusive at me because they obviously could not be bothered to read the small print.
If no reply and a delete OP.. I'd take it as they are not interested. Then move on.. |
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"It's not rude, it's just people deciding that their time is better spent elsewhere, instead of replying to everyone that they don't fancy, and then dealing with any ensuing fallout. Just accept you're not a match and move on "
This ^^^. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So much for being a nation famed for manners "
as I've just said on another thread many ladies and couples are not actively looking and don't want to chat unless actively looking for something |
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