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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Do you ever feel it? What do you do to solve it?
This weekend I’ve felt in what I can only describe as a black hole of loneliness.
I love my own company and I can honestly say I’ve never felt like this before. I met up with friends and I’ve tried to keep myself busy but it hasn’t helped. I am not an emotional person but I have been this weekend and I can’t figure out how to snap out of it  |
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I'm really sorry you're going through this. Do you have people you can reach out to to help you with it?
Seek meaningful connection. That can be over the phone or online. What that means is quite personal.
As well as or failing that, throw yourself into things that fully occupy your mind and bring you joy and meaning. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find the best thing you can do is talk to someone else about it. Like, be honest with someone that won't try to solve it but just listen. The other thing is to distract yourself and keep busy until it passes.
You seem to be doing both, so. Just know you're not weird. |
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Has anything changed recently for you? (covid being a given)
I like my own company and the company of others. But I have recently found that I am in need of a little more. I'm not even sure what more is tbh. |
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Sorry to hear that OP. I think the uncertanty of current times is unsettling. Try to be reassured that other people are feeling similar, it isn't just you. I'm going to keep reaching out to friends and hopefully at some point there had got to be brighter days.
Hug of support to thee. |
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By *RSTCouple
over a year ago
S. Northants |
Distraction is a good thing. I will sometimes head into these forums. It's kind of a mask too as nobody knows what is going on in my real world I can hide from it. Sometimes these forums can be well and truly void of any conversation so can be counter productive.
We're always an inbox away though if needed. X
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"Bless you OP. Yes call a friend to chat to. I've had a tearful weekend...but I don't know why...troubling times for us all...x
Oh hun...I hope you feel better soon xx"
Thank you x I need a kick up the backside..xxx |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"Distraction is a good thing. I will sometimes head into these forums. It's kind of a mask too as nobody knows what is going on in my real world I can hide from it. Sometimes these forums can be well and truly void of any conversation so can be counter productive.
We're always an inbox away though if needed. X
"
Oh that's nice..xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I generally prefer my own company to that of others but I find walking for 1 to 2 hours helps to perk my mood up. I live near a park and a small wood and walk the dogs there every morning. Even if I didn't have dogs I would still do it. Walking in a bit of nature helps me. |
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"Bless you OP. Yes call a friend to chat to. I've had a tearful weekend...but I don't know why...troubling times for us all...x
Oh hun...I hope you feel better soon xx
Thank you x I need a kick up the backside..xxx"
Yes..I know that feeling. I could do with one sometimes but still I hope is q brighter day.
Other wise bend over for that arse kicking xx  |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"Bless you OP. Yes call a friend to chat to. I've had a tearful weekend...but I don't know why...troubling times for us all...x
Oh hun...I hope you feel better soon xx
Thank you x I need a kick up the backside..xxx
Yes..I know that feeling. I could do with one sometimes but still I hope is q brighter day.
Other wise bend over for that arse kicking xx "
Haha .  xx |
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"Do you ever feel it? What do you do to solve it?
This weekend I’ve felt in what I can only describe as a black hole of loneliness.
I love my own company and I can honestly say I’ve never felt like this before. I met up with friends and I’ve tried to keep myself busy but it hasn’t helped. I am not an emotional person but I have been this weekend and I can’t figure out how to snap out of it "
I'm sorry and not sure whether this will help.
You already have taken good steps to overcome it.
Try change the word "loneliness" to "solitude". Sometimes the word that we use on ourselves have greater power on our spirit and mood, and you never know it might totally flipped you and make you enjoy your "solitude".
I have used this technique several times in my life and it helped me a lot (changing approach/word when looking at things).
Wish you the best of luck.
(** sorry, English is not my first language).
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don’t try to snap out of it, that just won’t work, and may make things possibly worse. Feeling lonely is a normal thing to go through for all of us. Embrace your time in the wilderness, and learn something new about yourself, it’s ok to feel that way, even more so this year! Above every grey sky, is a glorious wonder, just look for it!
Most importantly, you recognise being lonely and you’re talking about it, that is pretty amazing! It’s ok to feel this way, keep your heart open... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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before i started having operations i was always busy.
workaholic so thats the reason i never felt lonely.
i also have a very good lady friend who seems to know when somethings not right and she text me. even though she lives many miles away.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you ever feel it? What do you do to solve it?
This weekend I’ve felt in what I can only describe as a black hole of loneliness.
I love my own company and I can honestly say I’ve never felt like this before. I met up with friends and I’ve tried to keep myself busy but it hasn’t helped. I am not an emotional person but I have been this weekend and I can’t figure out how to snap out of it
I'm sorry and not sure whether this will help.
You already have taken good steps to overcome it.
Try change the word "loneliness" to "solitude". Sometimes the word that we use on ourselves have greater power on our spirit and mood, and you never know it might totally flipped you and make you enjoy your "solitude".
I have used this technique several times in my life and it helped me a lot (changing approach/word when looking at things).
Wish you the best of luck.
(** sorry, English is not my first language).
"
I love this idea. |
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If I don't feel quite right, unsettled etc I meditate.
Take myself off to the beach and just sit for an hour breathing deep and let my mind especially my subconscious roam free, that works for me x |
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Yes, yes I do. For me the fixes are picking heavy things up, as good a night's sleep as I can manage, and calling with K so I can see her face  Unfortunately I've not found any quick fixes, only distractions until my brain levels out again. I hope you're feeling better soon  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for the replies. I’m usually so independent, don’t feel like I need anybody and have never felt lonely as such. This is a new feeling and I definitely don’t like it!
I’ve had an emotional few weeks with losing a close friend and my son having surgery so I guess that has an impact.
I do appreciate all your replies.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everyone experiences it in differing degrees throughout their life.
For me I need to talk it out of my system at some point and until then I distract myself by getting outside, I enjoy running and will take myself on a long run with music on and I go to the countryside local to my home...my happy place.
OP you are doing all the right things, its probably just an additional accumulation of stress out of the norm which is taking its toll on you.
Make sure you eat well, drink plenty of fluids and get enough sleep whilst you manage this situation.
Sending you a virtual hug
Her x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for the replies. I’m usually so independent, don’t feel like I need anybody and have never felt lonely as such. This is a new feeling and I definitely don’t like it!
I’ve had an emotional few weeks with losing a close friend and my son having surgery so I guess that has an impact.
I do appreciate all your replies.
"
Take pride in your independence, if that is something you're proud of. But don't let it lead you to feeling ashamed when you need to depend on someone.
Nobody can exist entirely alone, especially if they want to be happy. You can still be an independent person that occasionally needs to depend on someone for emotional support.
(If this sounds patronising then imagine me saying it in my underwear) |
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By *RSTCouple
over a year ago
S. Northants |
"Everyone experiences it in differing degrees throughout their life.
For me I need to talk it out of my system at some point and until then I distract myself by getting outside, I enjoy running and will take myself on a long run with music on and I go to the countryside local to my home...my happy place.
OP you are doing all the right things, its probably just an additional accumulation of stress out of the norm which is taking its toll on you.
Make sure you eat well, drink plenty of fluids and get enough sleep whilst you manage this situation.
Sending you a virtual hug
Her x"
Certainly jealous of the areas around you to escape into. I miss the beaches. X |
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I think to get this feeling any time of the year would be concerning, I get more lonely as the days get shorter and cooler until the days get longer and warmer its not the same If not for the fireworks or christmas which can add a bit of gaiety it would be a dull period which its going to be this year with covid around.. I hope things get better for you OP mental well being is Important so many people will need this in the comeing months. |
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"Thanks for the replies. I’m usually so independent, don’t feel like I need anybody and have never felt lonely as such. This is a new feeling and I definitely don’t like it!
I’ve had an emotional few weeks with losing a close friend and my son having surgery so I guess that has an impact.
I do appreciate all your replies.
"
That’s probably a big clue - normally you can do it but you don’t have as much in reserve right now.
Don’t be hard on yourself for finding it difficult and build up your reserves of coping with shit. This is sometimes knowing that you’re wanted and appreciated by those who matter to you.
You’ll get there - you’re already on the right path x |
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"Thanks for the replies. I’m usually so independent, don’t feel like I need anybody and have never felt lonely as such. This is a new feeling and I definitely don’t like it!
I’ve had an emotional few weeks with losing a close friend and my son having surgery so I guess that has an impact.
I do appreciate all your replies.
That’s probably a big clue - normally you can do it but you don’t have as much in reserve right now.
Don’t be hard on yourself for finding it difficult and build up your reserves of coping with shit. This is sometimes knowing that you’re wanted and appreciated by those who matter to you.
You’ll get there - you’re already on the right path x"
This |
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I feel it, a lot recently and as I’m on a two week holiday it’s going to be worse for the next fortnight.
I entered the ballot for the London Marathon so I’m starting my training this week, always find exercise good for the soul. Today I’m having a big clean up, especially those drawers you stick stuff in but never get around to sorting out
My advantage is my kids, they’re young so they do show their love. Lots of hugs and expressing their love for me. That really helps.
I’m fine in my own company as well, but I do miss intimacy with another though  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Everyone experiences it in differing degrees throughout their life.
For me I need to talk it out of my system at some point and until then I distract myself by getting outside, I enjoy running and will take myself on a long run with music on and I go to the countryside local to my home...my happy place.
OP you are doing all the right things, its probably just an additional accumulation of stress out of the norm which is taking its toll on you.
Make sure you eat well, drink plenty of fluids and get enough sleep whilst you manage this situation.
Sending you a virtual hug
Her x
Certainly jealous of the areas around you to escape into. I miss the beaches. X"
Tbh I couldn't be in a more beautiful place during a lockdown...as you know
Her x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is exactly how i have felt over the last few days. Its unexplainable and i dont think its easy to snap out of.
I think distraction, time and good people all help.
I hope your getting there OP x |
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