FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > To all the singles out there!
To all the singles out there!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh many possible reasons:
I fall in love with the wrong MEN. Possibly some weird defence mechanism.
No one wants me.
I'm divorced with children which for the last 10 years seems to rule me out the potential relationship category for some men.
I get bored and I'm fussy.
Dating is a nightmare.
I'm fiercely independent and won't let people in to my circle.
I'm too much.
I'm not enough.
And I've no doubt many other reasons too.
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Divorced in 2016, then between 2017 to the beginning of 2019 spent quite a bit of time trying to find a new partner. Dated a few but never seemed to get that connection going.
So I’ve given up now, single by choice, realised I make my own rules and don’t answer to anyone else, do what I want when I want.
If the right person comes along, great but making the most of this time just being me.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm single because I'm not quite sure I'm ready for a relationship yet, divorced after a 8 year marriage that turned pretty toxic in the end.
Gone through therapy and I'm trying to sort out exactly the type of partner I want to be. |
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I’m single for various reasons, mostly just circumstances.
But dating these days is definitely a minefield, and not much fun... though if I met the right person I’m sure it’ll all fall into place (so to speak )
In the meantime, I’m here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I get bored and I'm fussy.
Dating is a nightmare.
I'm fiercely independent and won't let people in to my circle.
I'm too much.
I'm not enough.
"
Been single for over 10 years and haven't been looking. As well as the above reasons I will add I haven't got the time, or inclination, for a 'traditional' relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Can't find anyone that wants to put up with me!
I see cats in your future!
I've already got a spinster shawl so I'm prepared  "
You need to start taking crochet lessons! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I became single when my partner died... I remain single because I couldn't do that again nor could I put someone else through it, so my choice will keep me this way. |
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By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
"Can't find anyone that wants to put up with me!
I see cats in your future!
I've already got a spinster shawl so I'm prepared
You need to start taking crochet lessons!"
Who says I can't crochet already |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I became single by choice then life happened and now I have no idea. I'm not the easiest person to deal with. I can be a huge pain in the arse and an emotional mess at times. I tend to push people away when they get too close. I know what I want, I think but maybe what I want and need right now are two different things.
Wow, that was a lot and probably the actual reason I'm single. |
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By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago
'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks |
Im perpetually single because I fall for men who turn out to be either emotionally retarded, absolute cunts, or just dont know a good thing when they've got it and are always seeking that newer shinier thing.
Modern dating sucks big time in your 40s and its really hard to establish something meaningful with guys my age who have been stung in divorces, had psycho exes, and/or just use women for sexual gratification. They just wont commit and we are disposable. Its far too easy to move on to the next person.
Plus im fat. Folk tell you it doesn't matter, they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder...but the truth is guys dont want an overweight middle aged woman with lumps and bumps and scars.
Its ok though, i love cats, and i have snacks so I'll be reet!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I became single by choice then life happened and now I have no idea. I'm not the easiest person to deal with. I can be a huge pain in the arse and an emotional mess at times. I tend to push people away when they get too close. I know what I want, I think but maybe what I want and need right now are two different things.
Wow, that was a lot and probably the actual reason I'm single. "
I like the sound of you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My 18 year marriage ended abruptly 7 years ago and I brought up 3 boys. Nobody was really interested in a single father around here, and the dating I attempted became humiliating. So I cracked on alone to date, one left at home 15yrs and independent for his age.So now can try and get some fun into my life. I enjoy reading the forums, it's a much friendlier place than the main arena X
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Single through choice as me and the ex were destroying each other caused by stepchildren issues so made choice to seperate after 6yrs 3 of which we lived together now I want a fwb for meals,drinks and great sex but without the emotional ties a relationship brings but hard to find |
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"Why are you single?
I am single by choice, women's choice, but nevertheless
Because no one wants me other than to fuck me. "
that's not good for someone's self worth... I wouldn't put up with that personally. Rather be single than to be used as a free prostitute |
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Single by choice. Eighteen years and counting. No plans to change this situation.
To quote Lemmy: "I've never found one woman who could make me stop looking at all the others."
I tried having Relationships With A Capital R. We're told all our lives this will make us happy. It doesn't. |
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"Why are you single?
I am single by choice, women's choice, but nevertheless
Because no one wants me other than to fuck me.
that's not good for someone's self worth... I wouldn't put up with that personally. Rather be single than to be used as a free prostitute "
Trouble is I like fucking lol I'd just like to find someone who likes fucking me and being with me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I haven’t found anyone honest or trustworthy enough to put any effort into so far so I’m staying single.
I also love my own company and actually get quite agitated if I don’t get to spend time on my own. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I suppose through choice, after ending a long relationship and being single/independent for a couple of year I don’t know if I could try adjust to committed relationship.... or the monogamy that generally comes with it .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like the single life but I wouldn't mind giving a relationship a chance. I'm always so bust travelling around with work that I'm never in the same place for long though, so I've almost given up on it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Partner died. 20 years together. Nobody wants me. If I find someone I like I fuck it up through my insecurities. "
Been too long on my own to want a full on relationship now anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I dated anyone my ex would make life very difficult for me. He still stalks me and tells me I'm worthless. I'm too scared to do anything that will piss him off. In the 9 years since we split up he's had multiple relationships. |
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"Why are you single?
I am single by choice, women's choice, but nevertheless
Because no one wants me other than to fuck me.
that's not good for someone's self worth... I wouldn't put up with that personally. Rather be single than to be used as a free prostitute
Trouble is I like fucking lol I'd just like to find someone who likes fucking me and being with me. "
Definitely best combination when you find that great guy good luck   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im single because i ended it (in a moment of frustration of lack of communication)
Hindsight we wanted different things long term, i was madly in love with him
But it could also have been a case of i was so desperate for the idea that someone could love me.. and i loved that feeling. I probably settled even though i knew deep down it wasnt right..
But i am single.. Id like to find someone one day.. but no rush. Only 32 :D |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The truth is, i was engaged to be married and it ended, it took me 12 months to get over it, then as i got over it Covid showed its ugly little head, so im just having that me time and some fun.
At some point i'll put myself up for some more potential heart break but until then, i'll just be cheeky  |
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"If I dated anyone my ex would make life very difficult for me. He still stalks me and tells me I'm worthless. I'm too scared to do anything that will piss him off. In the 9 years since we split up he's had multiple relationships. "
wow sounds like a sadist narcissist. Hope you finally gain your freedom again. Noone needs that in their lives. life far too short for all that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I dated anyone my ex would make life very difficult for me. He still stalks me and tells me I'm worthless. I'm too scared to do anything that will piss him off. In the 9 years since we split up he's had multiple relationships.
wow sounds like a sadist narcissist. Hope you finally gain your freedom again. Noone needs that in their lives. life far too short for all that "
Thank you. I won't ever be free from him unless he dies and I don't wish that on him. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m single because I’m broken, I wouldn’t want to put that on someone else, relationships can wait till I fix my head a little more "
We'll both get there one day xx |
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"Im perpetually single because I fall for men who turn out to be either emotionally retarded, absolute cunts, or just dont know a good thing when they've got it and are always seeking that newer shinier thing.
Modern dating sucks big time in your 40s and its really hard to establish something meaningful with guys my age who have been stung in divorces, had psycho exes, and/or just use women for sexual gratification. They just wont commit and we are disposable. Its far too easy to move on to the next person.
Plus im fat. Folk tell you it doesn't matter, they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder...but the truth is guys dont want an overweight middle aged woman with lumps and bumps and scars.
Its ok though, i love cats, and i have snacks so I'll be reet! "
You forgot to mention you are great company. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because I’m only good for short term fun, to boost someone’s ego till they have the confidence to meet someone more suited to long term in their opinion. So I guess at the moment I’m single by choice as I’m picky now so I don’t fall into that trap again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I walked away from a very toxic, gas lighting narcissist. Took alot, but I'm glad I did. I'm single until a) my heart has healed b) my soul is repaired c) I learn to trust and function normally and d) they can offer more than my fuck buddies
Happy to be single. Being unsingle will probably take a miracle! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im perpetually single because I fall for men who turn out to be either emotionally retarded, absolute cunts, or just dont know a good thing when they've got it and are always seeking that newer shinier thing.
Modern dating sucks big time in your 40s and its really hard to establish something meaningful with guys my age who have been stung in divorces, had psycho exes, and/or just use women for sexual gratification. They just wont commit and we are disposable. Its far too easy to move on to the next person.
Plus im fat. Folk tell you it doesn't matter, they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder...but the truth is guys dont want an overweight middle aged woman with lumps and bumps and scars.
Its ok though, i love cats, and i have snacks so I'll be reet! "
You know, i used to think a bit like you, and then i met someone who gave me so much confidence about myself, and it snapped me out of it and since i have met some people who id never think would like me but do.
Its about confidence and the right people! For what its worth, i think a lit of guys will like your lumps and bumps and would be proud to date you.
So keep looking and never give up! And make sure you share your snacks xxx
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Trying to find someone that ticks enough of the right boxes who also thinks you do too is no easy task and before anyone says it shouldn't be about a tick in the box the truth is most of us have certain thing's we absolutely have to have in a partner be that non smoker, local, active etc. Add to this the fact that simply ticking a bix is not enough, there needs to be chemistry, a spark and desire. Before you can even get to the point where any of these things matter though you have the giant hurdles that are attraction and competition. Do you even look twice at someone who is say average if there is a near perfect specimen next to them or even if there isn't? I've suggested before that dating now feels a lot like shopping, as a consumerist society we are told every day we can have exactly what we want, no compromise needed and so why settle for anything less? Swipe right, swipe left, in to the shopping basket, back on the shelf as you're just not plump enough! And let's not forget we can order our perfect man or woman from the comfort of our sofa!
Being single can be a choice but I'm not sure it's a natural one, i think we all desire that connection with someone who let's us drop the mask and display our vulnerability yet feel safe. If you're in your 30's 40's and above, been jaded by past experience and finally stepping in to the dating world once again are presented by others telling you constantly that "most men" or "most women" are this stereotype or another, how can you reach any other point than to make the choice to be single? Or just step in to a relationship with your guard up and looking for validation of the stereotype?
I'm not single by choice, i want more but will wait for the one that sees a sparkle in the trash heap, who's look opens my soul.
Now who wants to fuck? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I dated anyone my ex would make life very difficult for me. He still stalks me and tells me I'm worthless. I'm too scared to do anything that will piss him off. In the 9 years since we split up he's had multiple relationships. "
Seriously? 
What an absolute knob.
Get an injunction out against him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im perpetually single because I fall for men who turn out to be either emotionally retarded, absolute cunts, or just dont know a good thing when they've got it and are always seeking that newer shinier thing.
Modern dating sucks big time in your 40s and its really hard to establish something meaningful with guys my age who have been stung in divorces, had psycho exes, and/or just use women for sexual gratification. They just wont commit and we are disposable. Its far too easy to move on to the next person.
Plus im fat. Folk tell you it doesn't matter, they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder...but the truth is guys dont want an overweight middle aged woman with lumps and bumps and scars.
Its ok though, i love cats, and i have snacks so I'll be reet! "
Absolutely this ^^^
I have dogs though instead of cats |
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"If I dated anyone my ex would make life very difficult for me. He still stalks me and tells me I'm worthless. I'm too scared to do anything that will piss him off. In the 9 years since we split up he's had multiple relationships. "
Sounds like he's a complete twat, don't let him have control over your actions.
Everyone deserves to be happy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I chose to end an abusive marriage, but would prefer not to be single.
I'm completely self-sufficient, but this last 6 months have been lonely, if I'm honest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m a widow.......... after 26yrs of marriage, I’m not ready for a full on relationship, a considerate fwb suits me now, not that I’ve managed it yet "
7 years for me
And Fwb is what I'm hoping for to |
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I ended my marriage, but it was because he had an affair so I don't feel it was my choice to become single.
Having said that, I'm happier now than I have been in years so it's for the best.
It's my choice now to remain single. I don't feel ready to open myself up to another in that way yet.
Also, my kids are still young so I want to focus on them and not let another share my time.
When they are older, then maybe I will want a relationship but for now I'm enjoying being single and discovering who I am again. |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
I ended my last relationship because he was a manipulative, mentally, emotionally and physically abusive scumbag. I'd begun to feel as if I didn't deserve any better and he told me that regularly.
When eventually I found the strength to tell him he was leaving I made the choice to be single. And I've been terrified ever since of letting anyone into my heart again in case it turns out the same way as I'm clearly a bad judge of character.
But someone on here made me look at things differently. It took a long time for him to break down my walls but he made me believe I deserve to be treated well and deserve to be happy. Even though that didn't work out the groundwork is there and I'm heading for being ready to possibly being open to a relationship.
Still single by choice right now though I think. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm single for so many reasons.
The main one is because I don’t put myself out there, I don't date and I'm not looking.
My past relationships have made me feel nutty and I just don't think I'm cut out to live with anyone.
I can honestly say that now I live alone nothing brings me more pleasure than getting home and shutting the
door
Now I'm mid 40's no one can see me anyway - so I doubt I'll meet someone unless I do internet dating.
I just haven't got the energy for it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I dated anyone my ex would make life very difficult for me. He still stalks me and tells me I'm worthless. I'm too scared to do anything that will piss him off. In the 9 years since we split up he's had multiple relationships.
Seriously?
What an absolute knob.
Get an injunction out against him."
Yes seriously. Can't get an injunction, I need to stay in friendly contact with him.
I 'Liked' a Facebook status this week. He's not on mine or the person's Friend list but he saw it somehow and was very angry and abusive because he doesn't approve. I just need to be more careful what I say and do for a while until he calms down.
He doesn't know about Fab so I'm safe here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I dated anyone my ex would make life very difficult for me. He still stalks me and tells me I'm worthless. I'm too scared to do anything that will piss him off. In the 9 years since we split up he's had multiple relationships. well your not worthless, your the best, twatty bollocks can't leave you alone. Find discreet, it can work..... Have a bloody nice bear hug off someone XX"
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Fucking hell where do I start?!?
I have funny ways and probably have an unrealistic expectation of openness and honesty that I’ve not come across since my marriage. I never questioned anyone’s words until the humans I had the misfortune to meet post divorce. That’s definately changed me and my perception of other people, yet not so jaded that I can’t appreciate a good soul. I have a lovely quiet life and value people to be quiet with more than those out to impress. So yeah I’m kinda tricky. I choose to not settle. I created my own happiness until anyone slots into that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I dated anyone my ex would make life very difficult for me. He still stalks me and tells me I'm worthless. I'm too scared to do anything that will piss him off. In the 9 years since we split up he's had multiple relationships.
Seriously?
What an absolute knob.
Get an injunction out against him.
Yes seriously. Can't get an injunction, I need to stay in friendly contact with him.
I 'Liked' a Facebook status this week. He's not on mine or the person's Friend list but he saw it somehow and was very angry and abusive because he doesn't approve. I just need to be more careful what I say and do for a while until he calms down.
He doesn't know about Fab so I'm safe here. "
Thats awful 
How does he contact you
Can the police not do anything? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I dated anyone my ex would make life very difficult for me. He still stalks me and tells me I'm worthless. I'm too scared to do anything that will piss him off. In the 9 years since we split up he's had multiple relationships.
Seriously?
What an absolute knob.
Get an injunction out against him.
Yes seriously. Can't get an injunction, I need to stay in friendly contact with him.
I 'Liked' a Facebook status this week. He's not on mine or the person's Friend list but he saw it somehow and was very angry and abusive because he doesn't approve. I just need to be more careful what I say and do for a while until he calms down.
He doesn't know about Fab so I'm safe here. "
I'm guessing you're still dependent on him in some way. So sorry you have to go through this though |
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"Im perpetually single because I fall for men who turn out to be either emotionally retarded, absolute cunts, or just dont know a good thing when they've got it and are always seeking that newer shinier thing.
Modern dating sucks big time in your 40s and its really hard to establish something meaningful with guys my age who have been stung in divorces, had psycho exes, and/or just use women for sexual gratification. They just wont commit and we are disposable. Its far too easy to move on to the next person.
Plus im fat. Folk tell you it doesn't matter, they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder...but the truth is guys dont want an overweight middle aged woman with lumps and bumps and scars.
Its ok though, i love cats, and i have snacks so I'll be reet! "
This is me in a nutshell - i couldn't have written it any better than this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Been single a couple of years now, seems like if you havnt got a million pound house 5 star holidays and flash car, most women don't seem interested now a days. I get it they want to feel provided for and secure its a natural instinct, but it sure seems to have gotten impossible for single guys over the years. Or maybe I have just had bad luck ha ha |
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By *arkus1812Man
over a year ago
Lifes departure lounge NN9 Northamptonshire East not West MidlandsMidlands |
Single by choice for 44 years after amicable divorce, I have however for the past 39 years been in a platonic friendship with a wonderful person, just no chemistry to make a relationship work, we have both had our flings on the side but the friendship continued as before.
She is 16 years younger than me and as I nam now 80 years old the gap is beginning to show and we both feel she needs to find a younger man than me to take her through the next chapter of her life. that leaves me to seek alternative female company, not just for the sexual side but for days out, shopping, theatre, meals out and so on, As I am well outside nearly all the females age parameters my hopes of finding someone are not high but hey ho I will keep trying.
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"Been single a couple of years now, seems like if you havnt got a million pound house 5 star holidays and flash car, most women don't seem interested now a days. I get it they want to feel provided for and secure its a natural instinct, but it sure seems to have gotten impossible for single guys over the years. Or maybe I have just had bad luck ha ha "
I would say bad luck. I am not looking for a life partner, but if I was, finances and material goods wouldn't come in to it. I would probably steer clear of someone who didn't work by choice, as in my taxes paid for them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been single for the last 10 years, not through choice but because the big C decided it was Mrs backtoprev's time to leave this earth.
Do i want to get together with a partner again ? It would be nice, but i am liking being on my own now and to be honest it's not something i think about any more. |
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