FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Losing patience
Losing patience
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Do you send a face pic? What do you write? I always check the profile before I even open the message and no public pics to nosey at and the silly place name in profile would probably be enough to make me not bother. Sorry. Im very lazy though and not looking to meet anyway  |
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"Understand I'm one of thousands of men on here
But I do attach pics with messages I send "
Many women will look at the profile before opening the message and no public pictures is something some women will use as a criterion to simply delete.
It's an incredibly difficult market for single men, here. (Even notwithstanding the pandemic) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I rarely reply to anyone with a stupid warning at the bottom of their profile "
This for me too.
And the emphasis on being discreet and not being able to accommodate would just lead me to believe you’re not single which is fine but I’d rather know that straight away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No public photo’s is a massive red flag to me, makes me think what’s this guy up to with just his friends only photos, also the warning but is just embarrassing.
All the best X |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
Hi op
As others said, lack of pics would put me off. Do you attach a face in a message, as you have written you will show one if asked.
The discreet and can't accom does rightly or wrongly come across as you playing away.
Join in on the forums and get to know people here.
I don't reply to people who try and get me to meet at the min, obviously I don't know what you're saying in a message. |
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By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
As said above maybe one or two more public pics might be an idea.
And I guess it depends on the opening message? I personally do try to reply to every message even if just saying thank you, but I'm well aware I don't get a 10th of the messages some of the lovelies do  |
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OP your profile is your shop window...
If I was looking to meet, and to meet men,the following would be an issue for me:
No public photos
The pointless legal stuff
Thd fact said pointless legal stuff is longer than the actual profile.
You appear to be looking to meet in the middle of a pandemic.
The fact you are moaning on the forum about lack of success. |
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I feel your pain OP .. fact is a single guy on here who looks average , is average and does average things is about as lucky as .. nothing .
The old ' FAQ states no reply.. ' is functional but bloody rude in my opinion and justifirs the level of 'automation' on here . I used to write well crafted thoughtful intelligent messages that literally got chucked in the bin .. THAT is why most guys do cut and paste messages because anything that uses a litte effort is not really wanted. Though if it is any consolation some of the women on here frankly arent all that either so it cuts both ways! so dont beat yourself up mate .. just be realistic about what you are looking for and accept it is probably not going to happen .. then add yourself to the number of single guys on here that make up the membership numbers and someday something might change for you .I would suggest trying ( thoughtful messages that have no agenda) you might get a response once or twice .. but then you will probably get lost in the thousands of messages the ladies get on here from idiots and timewasters.
However, unless you are thinking of getting ripped, rich and being very generous .. I wouldn't hold your breath  Its nice to dip in and out of the forum and look at the pictures until lockdown ends .. things might change then .. :/ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I feel your pain OP .. fact is a single guy on here who looks average , is average and does average things is about as lucky as .. nothing .
The old ' FAQ states no reply.. ' is functional but bloody rude in my opinion and justifirs the level of 'automation' on here . I used to write well crafted thoughtful intelligent messages that literally got chucked in the bin .. THAT is why most guys do cut and paste messages because anything that uses a litte effort is not really wanted. Though if it is any consolation some of the women on here frankly arent all that either so it cuts both ways! so dont beat yourself up mate .. just be realistic about what you are looking for and accept it is probably not going to happen .. then add yourself to the number of single guys on here that make up the membership numbers and someday something might change for you .I would suggest trying ( thoughtful messages that have no agenda) you might get a response once or twice .. but then you will probably get lost in the thousands of messages the ladies get on here from idiots and timewasters.
However, unless you are thinking of getting ripped, rich and being very generous .. I wouldn't hold your breath Its nice to dip in and out of the forum and look at the pictures until lockdown ends .. things might change then .. :/"
It won't ever change. |
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"I feel your pain OP .. fact is a single guy on here who looks average , is average and does average things is about as lucky as .. nothing .
The old ' FAQ states no reply.. ' is functional but bloody rude in my opinion and justifirs the level of 'automation' on here . I used to write well crafted thoughtful intelligent messages that literally got chucked in the bin .. THAT is why most guys do cut and paste messages because anything that uses a litte effort is not really wanted. Though if it is any consolation some of the women on here frankly arent all that either so it cuts both ways! so dont beat yourself up mate .. just be realistic about what you are looking for and accept it is probably not going to happen .. then add yourself to the number of single guys on here that make up the membership numbers and someday something might change for you .I would suggest trying ( thoughtful messages that have no agenda) you might get a response once or twice .. but then you will probably get lost in the thousands of messages the ladies get on here from idiots and timewasters.
However, unless you are thinking of getting ripped, rich and being very generous .. I wouldn't hold your breath Its nice to dip in and out of the forum and look at the pictures until lockdown ends .. things might change then .. :/"
It’s not bloody rude, when you have 894 messages do you think women are going to sit and reply to all?
We have lives you know and I got one don’t want to waste my time replying to men who don’t read my profile and expect me to drop my knickers at the first message |
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I wish people would stop this excuse all the time .. it IS rudeto ignore someone we have all been taught that from an early age havemt we? .. but due to the number of non members that bulk up the messages there is little option but for women to bulk delete and ignore everything .. sad but even sadder very true |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wish people would stop this excuse all the time .. it IS rudeto ignore someone we have all been taught that from an early age havemt we? .. but due to the number of non members that bulk up the messages there is little option but for women to bulk delete and ignore everything .. sad but even sadder very true "
I think alot of men seem to think the ladies on here are all sitting here 24/ 7 waiting for offers. Available at mens whims, like free prostitutes offering a service
They dont seem to get that we are real people. With real lives, jobs, families and grown up responsibilities
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wish people would stop this excuse all the time .. it IS rudeto ignore someone we have all been taught that from an early age havemt we? .. but due to the number of non members that bulk up the messages there is little option but for women to bulk delete and ignore everything .. sad but even sadder very true "
No it absolutely isn't rude to not reply to an unsolicited message.
I will tell you what is rude and that is to expect a reply and then have the nerve to call the person rude because they don't say no thank you it doesn't make sense. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wish people would stop this excuse all the time .. it IS rudeto ignore someone we have all been taught that from an early age havemt we? .. but due to the number of non members that bulk up the messages there is little option but for women to bulk delete and ignore everything .. sad but even sadder very true
I think alot of men seem to think the ladies on here are all sitting here 24/ 7 waiting for offers. Available at mens whims, like free prostitutes offering a service
They dont seem to get that we are real people. With real lives, jobs, families and grown up responsibilities
"
Agreed and also we don't have to reply. |
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I think you just proved my theory .. clearly didn't read my post completely did you? .. or you would have seen where I have explained it all pretty well from all sides .. What people dont seem to be arsed about on here is the reason you have 800 messages is because this place literally allows anyone in to make up the numbers .. most of your messages you complain about ? I am willing to bet come from non members ? no profile pictures? etc etc.. but YOU can add filters to stop anyone who isn't genuine full member with photos messaging you ( not just up to the guys is it !) . Although it is probably a nice boost to the ego to get 800 messages from people that you have no intention of ever reading .. we all like a boost dont we |
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"As part of a couple, most men think they are talking to Mrs when they are not. Also many men that have sent us a message expect an instant reply. Patience goes a long way"
We get that! Especially I think with our name.
But it’s me, The Boy. Or as I’m known to my goddess Kitty The Sex P.A. |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
"I wish people would stop this excuse all the time .. it IS rudeto ignore someone we have all been taught that from an early age havemt we? .. but due to the number of non members that bulk up the messages there is little option but for women to bulk delete and ignore everything .. sad but even sadder very true "
Why should we reply when 9 times out of ten they haven't read a profile or are out of our preferences
Some women (not me as I use filters) get so many messages a day, so can't reply to all
Why not just take a no reply as no thanks |
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"I feel your pain OP .. fact is a single guy on here who looks average , is average and does average things is about as lucky as .. nothing .
The old ' FAQ states no reply.. ' is functional but bloody rude in my opinion and justifirs the level of 'automation' on here . I used to write well crafted thoughtful intelligent messages that literally got chucked in the bin .. THAT is why most guys do cut and paste messages because anything that uses a litte effort is not really wanted. Though if it is any consolation some of the women on here frankly arent all that either so it cuts both ways! so dont beat yourself up mate .. just be realistic about what you are looking for and accept it is probably not going to happen .. then add yourself to the number of single guys on here that make up the membership numbers and someday something might change for you .I would suggest trying ( thoughtful messages that have no agenda) you might get a response once or twice .. but then you will probably get lost in the thousands of messages the ladies get on here from idiots and timewasters.
However, unless you are thinking of getting ripped, rich and being very generous .. I wouldn't hold your breath Its nice to dip in and out of the forum and look at the pictures until lockdown ends .. things might change then .. :/
It won't ever change."
Famous last words of soo many people that is |
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"I wish people would stop this excuse all the time .. it IS rudeto ignore someone we have all been taught that from an early age havemt we? .. but due to the number of non members that bulk up the messages there is little option but for women to bulk delete and ignore everything .. sad but even sadder very true
No it absolutely isn't rude to not reply to an unsolicited message.
I will tell you what is rude and that is to expect a reply and then have the nerve to call the person rude because they don't say no thank you it doesn't make sense."
We get plenty of unsolicited mail as a couple and I dread to think what a single ladies mailbox would look like. I have tried responding to all but lost the will to live so now don’t bother if they clearly aren’t for us (which they would normally know if they read the profile). |
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If someone uses filters would it not follow that the number of messages would be vastly reduced ? which I guess might make things more manageable ? its up to the individual obviously .. bit certainly filters helps everyone out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone uses filters would it not follow that the number of messages would be vastly reduced ? which I guess might make things more manageable ? its up to the individual obviously .. bit certainly filters helps everyone out "
So youre advocating that ladies filter out non members?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone uses filters would it not follow that the number of messages would be vastly reduced ? which I guess might make things more manageable ? its up to the individual obviously .. bit certainly filters helps everyone out "
But you are missing the point.
It doesn't matter if I only get one message a week if I choose not to reply to it that is my right. |
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"I think you just proved my theory .. clearly didn't read my post completely did you? .. or you would have seen where I have explained it all pretty well from all sides .. What people dont seem to be arsed about on here is the reason you have 800 messages is because this place literally allows anyone in to make up the numbers .. most of your messages you complain about ? I am willing to bet come from non members ? no profile pictures? etc etc.. but YOU can add filters to stop anyone who isn't genuine full member with photos messaging you ( not just up to the guys is it !) . Although it is probably a nice boost to the ego to get 800 messages from people that you have no intention of ever reading .. we all like a boost dont we "
There’s no need to be condescending and rude, most of the messages do have a pic to them, some don’t, I don’t sit and click through every single one to see.
I have my filters set to let men message me as there are actually nice people who pop through occasionally, ones that catch my eye, ones that take the time to read what I’ve written. |
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Well, the fact you're losing patience is a huge red flag.
Red flag 2: can't accommodate
Red flag 3: no public pics.
Maybe you should take some "how to enhance your fab experience" lessons.
There's a few in my vidoes.
You're welcome. |
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"If someone uses filters would it not follow that the number of messages would be vastly reduced ? which I guess might make things more manageable ? its up to the individual obviously .. bit certainly filters helps everyone out "
For me it was only blocking all men that made it manageable. In the end I blocked every category as I couldn't be bothered with the messages. Now only friends or people I've messaged can message me. |
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"Well, the fact you're losing patience is a huge red flag.
Red flag 2: can't accommodate
Red flag 3: no public pics.
Maybe you should take some "how to enhance your fab experience" lessons.
There's a few in my vidoes.
You're welcome."
This! 
Jo.Xx |
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I liken it to someone coming up to you, with no invitation, in the street and randomly talking to you. Rather than starting a prop conversation, they just say "wanna fuck" or "wow she's hot" or "can I fuck your wife?"
Anyone who started like that in the street would firstly be ignored and I'd hurry on my way but if they persisted and continued, I'd be desperate to get away and frankly report them for harassing us.
Now, the nature of the site is that the first message is likely to be unsolicited, but the vast majority of messages we get are of the "I'd run away in real life" category and not the "might be OK to respond to this stranger" category.
Capiche? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone uses filters would it not follow that the number of messages would be vastly reduced ? which I guess might make things more manageable ? its up to the individual obviously .. bit certainly filters helps everyone out "
Yes I use filters,it certainly saves unwanted messages |
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‘’ but YOU can add filters to stop anyone who isn't genuine full member with photos messaging you ( not just up to the guys is it !) . ’’
- So its my responsibility to block men messaging me, god forbid I expect men to think for themselves before they send a message.
What you have written above is akin to ‘well you shouldn’t wear a short skirt if you don’t the attention of men, it’s not just up to men is it?’ |
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Exactly! .. so that stops you needing to deal with silly full inboxes from idiots ( everyone complains about) that you would never want to get. However, on the plus side it does mean people you are interested in talking to for whatever reason .. are able to get in touch and vice versa . Which I think is the way everyone should use this place.. just my opinion though
|
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"Well, the fact you're losing patience is a huge red flag.
Red flag 2: can't accommodate
Red flag 3: no public pics.
Maybe you should take some "how to enhance your fab experience" lessons.
There's a few in my vidoes.
You're welcome."
Just curious, but why is can't accommodate a red flag? Is it because of the "single" men with an unsuspecting other half? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Exactly! .. so that stops you needing to deal with silly full inboxes from idiots ( everyone complains about) that you would never want to get. However, on the plus side it does mean people you are interested in talking to for whatever reason .. are able to get in touch and vice versa . Which I think is the way everyone should use this place.. just my opinion though
"
But then the issue would be "this site is fake, women don't want messages".
You can't keep everyone happy so its pointless trying.
Everyone should be able to manage their messages as they see fit. |
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"Exactly! .. so that stops you needing to deal with silly full inboxes from idiots ( everyone complains about) that you would never want to get. However, on the plus side it does mean people you are interested in talking to for whatever reason .. are able to get in touch and vice versa . Which I think is the way everyone should use this place.. just my opinion though
"
I think you're talking to me? If everyone used the site the way I do nobody would be able to message anyone. |
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"‘’ but YOU can add filters to stop anyone who isn't genuine full member with photos messaging you ( not just up to the guys is it !) . ’’
- So its my responsibility to block men messaging me, god forbid I expect men to think for themselves before they send a message.
What you have written above is akin to ‘well you shouldn’t wear a short skirt if you don’t the attention of men, it’s not just up to men is it?’ "
Oh do me a favour not that old chestnut!its nothing like that at all .. its saying if you dont want to just have hot air blown up your backside and your ego inflated every time you come online( which your attitude and responses suggests at least you like ) .. then perhaps being more realistic is the best way forward.. OR give up moaning because you get so many messages .. cant have it both ways can you ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"‘’ but YOU can add filters to stop anyone who isn't genuine full member with photos messaging you ( not just up to the guys is it !) . ’’
- So its my responsibility to block men messaging me, god forbid I expect men to think for themselves before they send a message.
What you have written above is akin to ‘well you shouldn’t wear a short skirt if you don’t the attention of men, it’s not just up to men is it?’
Oh do me a favour not that old chestnut!its nothing like that at all .. its saying if you dont want to just have hot air blown up your backside and your ego inflated every time you come online( which your attitude and responses suggests at least you like ) .. then perhaps being more realistic is the best way forward.. OR give up moaning because you get so many messages .. cant have it both ways can you !"
Are you ok? |
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"‘’ but YOU can add filters to stop anyone who isn't genuine full member with photos messaging you ( not just up to the guys is it !) . ’’
- So its my responsibility to block men messaging me, god forbid I expect men to think for themselves before they send a message.
What you have written above is akin to ‘well you shouldn’t wear a short skirt if you don’t the attention of men, it’s not just up to men is it?’
Oh do me a favour not that old chestnut!its nothing like that at all .. its saying if you dont want to just have hot air blown up your backside and your ego inflated every time you come online( which your attitude and responses suggests at least you like ) .. then perhaps being more realistic is the best way forward.. OR give up moaning because you get so many messages .. cant have it both ways can you !"
Yeah I love hot air up my arse you should try it some time |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"I feel your pain OP .. fact is a single guy on here who looks average , is average and does average things is about as lucky as .. nothing .
The old ' FAQ states no reply.. ' is functional but bloody rude in my opinion and justifirs the level of 'automation' on here . I used to write well crafted thoughtful intelligent messages that literally got chucked in the bin .. THAT is why most guys do cut and paste messages because anything that uses a litte effort is not really wanted. Though if it is any consolation some of the women on here frankly arent all that either so it cuts both ways! so dont beat yourself up mate .. just be realistic about what you are looking for and accept it is probably not going to happen .. then add yourself to the number of single guys on here that make up the membership numbers and someday something might change for you .I would suggest trying ( thoughtful messages that have no agenda) you might get a response once or twice .. but then you will probably get lost in the thousands of messages the ladies get on here from idiots and timewasters.
However, unless you are thinking of getting ripped, rich and being very generous .. I wouldn't hold your breath Its nice to dip in and out of the forum and look at the pictures until lockdown ends .. things might change then .. :/"
Did you actually stop to consider the fact that if we reply to messages that don't interest us, our current and any future filters are broken thus inviting a string of why not messages or outright abuse? |
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"Exactly! .. so that stops you needing to deal with silly full inboxes from idiots ( everyone complains about) that you would never want to get. However, on the plus side it does mean people you are interested in talking to for whatever reason .. are able to get in touch and vice versa . Which I think is the way everyone should use this place.. just my opinion though
I think you're talking to me? If everyone used the site the way I do nobody would be able to message anyone. "
I was.. apologies should have made that clear.. sure yes if everyone used the filter options you do then that would be the case. However, I guess there are other ways of using filters that are not that heavily filtered.That might help some guys and .. everyone really . Though people would have to want to use them of course . All of which was my main point in my previous comment . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I feel your pain OP .. fact is a single guy on here who looks average , is average and does average things is about as lucky as .. nothing .
The old ' FAQ states no reply.. ' is functional but bloody rude in my opinion and justifirs the level of 'automation' on here . I used to write well crafted thoughtful intelligent messages that literally got chucked in the bin .. THAT is why most guys do cut and paste messages because anything that uses a litte effort is not really wanted. Though if it is any consolation some of the women on here frankly arent all that either so it cuts both ways! so dont beat yourself up mate .. just be realistic about what you are looking for and accept it is probably not going to happen .. then add yourself to the number of single guys on here that make up the membership numbers and someday something might change for you .I would suggest trying ( thoughtful messages that have no agenda) you might get a response once or twice .. but then you will probably get lost in the thousands of messages the ladies get on here from idiots and timewasters.
However, unless you are thinking of getting ripped, rich and being very generous .. I wouldn't hold your breath Its nice to dip in and out of the forum and look at the pictures until lockdown ends .. things might change then .. :/"
Honestly it's not that bad to cut and paste, just be clever about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Exactly! .. so that stops you needing to deal with silly full inboxes from idiots ( everyone complains about) that you would never want to get. However, on the plus side it does mean people you are interested in talking to for whatever reason .. are able to get in touch and vice versa . Which I think is the way everyone should use this place.. just my opinion though
I think you're talking to me? If everyone used the site the way I do nobody would be able to message anyone.
I was.. apologies should have made that clear.. sure yes if everyone used the filter options you do then that would be the case. However, I guess there are other ways of using filters that are not that heavily filtered.That might help some guys and .. everyone really . Though people would have to want to use them of course . All of which was my main point in my previous comment . "
Or People should just except if they send a message they may not get a reply that would definitely help everybody out. |
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"Exactly! .. so that stops you needing to deal with silly full inboxes from idiots ( everyone complains about) that you would never want to get. However, on the plus side it does mean people you are interested in talking to for whatever reason .. are able to get in touch and vice versa . Which I think is the way everyone should use this place.. just my opinion though
"
Unfortunately there isn’t an idiot filter option  |
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"I feel your pain OP .. fact is a single guy on here who looks average , is average and does average things is about as lucky as .. nothing .
The old ' FAQ states no reply.. ' is functional but bloody rude in my opinion and justifirs the level of 'automation' on here . I used to write well crafted thoughtful intelligent messages that literally got chucked in the bin .. THAT is why most guys do cut and paste messages because anything that uses a litte effort is not really wanted. Though if it is any consolation some of the women on here frankly arent all that either so it cuts both ways! so dont beat yourself up mate .. just be realistic about what you are looking for and accept it is probably not going to happen .. then add yourself to the number of single guys on here that make up the membership numbers and someday something might change for you .I would suggest trying ( thoughtful messages that have no agenda) you might get a response once or twice .. but then you will probably get lost in the thousands of messages the ladies get on here from idiots and timewasters.
However, unless you are thinking of getting ripped, rich and being very generous .. I wouldn't hold your breath Its nice to dip in and out of the forum and look at the pictures until lockdown ends .. things might change then .. :/
Did you actually stop to consider the fact that if we reply to messages that don't interest us, our current and any future filters are broken thus inviting a string of why not messages or outright abuse? "
I didn't 'think' because truthfully I didn't know that's how the filtering system worked . So you are saying that if someone replies to someone on a filtered list that filter no longer applies to that 'category' anymore and it is as though the filter didn't exist? Interesting! |
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By *appytochatMan
over a year ago
Deep in the New Forest |
"Well, the fact you're losing patience is a huge red flag.
Red flag 2: can't accommodate
Red flag 3: no public pics.
Maybe you should take some "how to enhance your fab experience" lessons.
There's a few in my vidoes.
You're welcome.
Just curious, but why is can't accommodate a red flag? Is it because of the "single" men with an unsuspecting other half?"
It's called judging others before knowing the situation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Exactly! .. so that stops you needing to deal with silly full inboxes from idiots ( everyone complains about) that you would never want to get. However, on the plus side it does mean people you are interested in talking to for whatever reason .. are able to get in touch and vice versa . Which I think is the way everyone should use this place.. just my opinion though
Unfortunately there isn’t an idiot filter option "
That would be a handy filter in every aspect of life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the only time you should expect a reply from someone is if you are already talking. Otherwise it is a bit like going up to a stranger in the street with your cock hanging out and expecting them to engage in polite conversation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've just got to add that you posted this wanting help. Then went off line,this says to me that you don't actually care."
How DARE people have a life outside of fab!!!!!!! |
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"Exactly! .. so that stops you needing to deal with silly full inboxes from idiots ( everyone complains about) that you would never want to get. However, on the plus side it does mean people you are interested in talking to for whatever reason .. are able to get in touch and vice versa . Which I think is the way everyone should use this place.. just my opinion though
I think you're talking to me? If everyone used the site the way I do nobody would be able to message anyone.
I was.. apologies should have made that clear.. sure yes if everyone used the filter options you do then that would be the case. However, I guess there are other ways of using filters that are not that heavily filtered.That might help some guys and .. everyone really . Though people would have to want to use them of course . All of which was my main point in my previous comment . "
But it's only being this heavily filtered that made things manageable. I get why not every woman wants to block all men the way I do. I probably miss out on some great guys this way, I just don't have the mental energy for the inbox admin. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well, the fact you're losing patience is a huge red flag.
Red flag 2: can't accommodate
Red flag 3: no public pics.
Maybe you should take some "how to enhance your fab experience" lessons.
There's a few in my vidoes.
You're welcome.
Just curious, but why is can't accommodate a red flag? Is it because of the "single" men with an unsuspecting other half?
It's called judging others before knowing the situation. "
It's a generalisation that is backed up by a lot of women's collective experience. To combat this you could add a brief explanation why, ie "living in shared accommodation" if you don't mind people knowing. Otherwise you will get people jumping to conclusions, yeah. |
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"‘’ but YOU can add filters to stop anyone who isn't genuine full member with photos messaging you ( not just up to the guys is it !) . ’’
- So its my responsibility to block men messaging me, god forbid I expect men to think for themselves before they send a message.
What you have written above is akin to ‘well you shouldn’t wear a short skirt if you don’t the attention of men, it’s not just up to men is it?’
Oh do me a favour not that old chestnut!its nothing like that at all .. its saying if you dont want to just have hot air blown up your backside and your ego inflated every time you come online( which your attitude and responses suggests at least you like ) .. then perhaps being more realistic is the best way forward.. OR give up moaning because you get so many messages .. cant have it both ways can you !
Yeah I love hot air up my arse you should try it some time "
Yep everyone needs their egos inflated dont they |
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"
Did you actually stop to consider the fact that if we reply to messages that don't interest us, our current and any future filters are broken thus inviting a string of why not messages or outright abuse?
I didn't 'think' because truthfully I didn't know that's how the filtering system worked . So you are saying that if someone replies to someone on a filtered list that filter no longer applies to that 'category' anymore and it is as though the filter didn't exist? Interesting! "
I take it you now "get" why ladies don't reply to every message, and why not doing is an accepted part of how the site works.
I wish it was essential to read FAQs before being able to send messages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"‘’ but YOU can add filters to stop anyone who isn't genuine full member with photos messaging you ( not just up to the guys is it !) . ’’
- So its my responsibility to block men messaging me, god forbid I expect men to think for themselves before they send a message.
What you have written above is akin to ‘well you shouldn’t wear a short skirt if you don’t the attention of men, it’s not just up to men is it?’
Oh do me a favour not that old chestnut!its nothing like that at all .. its saying if you dont want to just have hot air blown up your backside and your ego inflated every time you come online( which your attitude and responses suggests at least you like ) .. then perhaps being more realistic is the best way forward.. OR give up moaning because you get so many messages .. cant have it both ways can you !
Yeah I love hot air up my arse you should try it some time
Yep everyone needs their egos inflated dont they "
I don't get many messages because my filters are super tight (or maybe because I'm super undesirable, I'll never know) but the contents of most of them are disgusting. Blocking all the non-members, no pics, newbies etc does NOT filter out all the vileness like you think it does.
Probably goes a long way but again, I'm not removing my filters so I'll never know. |
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"Well, the fact you're losing patience is a huge red flag.
Red flag 2: can't accommodate
Red flag 3: no public pics.
Maybe you should take some "how to enhance your fab experience" lessons.
There's a few in my vidoes.
You're welcome.
Just curious, but why is can't accommodate a red flag? Is it because of the "single" men with an unsuspecting other half?
It's called judging others before knowing the situation. "
While judging can be a good thing to manage expectations, I just took exception to this one in particular as I can't accommodate because I live with a house mate, but still very much single, unfortunately |
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"Well, the fact you're losing patience is a huge red flag.
Red flag 2: can't accommodate
Red flag 3: no public pics.
Maybe you should take some "how to enhance your fab experience" lessons.
There's a few in my vidoes.
You're welcome.
Just curious, but why is can't accommodate a red flag? Is it because of the "single" men with an unsuspecting other half?"
In a word yes.
Of course it's not the case for all and it would be foolish to think so.
It's just one of those things unfortunately due to the sheer volume of cheating "single" liars.
I don't automatically assume that's the case, but it will cause me to scrutinise and keep a mental note of things that may seem a little off or liary |
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"Oh and for the record I think you’ll find you ‘felt ops pain’ and were moaning about the lack of replies/how it’s rude, before I mentioned anything about the amount of messages women get "
yep.. you definitely do not read the whole post before replying.. again I covered all that too ..
I'm sorry but I treat everyone the same you appear to be pushing some kind of veiled feminist agenda at me .. don't .. thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If someone uses filters would it not follow that the number of messages would be vastly reduced ? which I guess might make things more manageable ? its up to the individual obviously .. bit certainly filters helps everyone out "
I do use filters but i still get hundreds of messages from guys that don't match my preferences. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I feel your pain OP .. fact is a single guy on here who looks average , is average and does average things is about as lucky as .. nothing .
The old ' FAQ states no reply.. ' is functional but bloody rude in my opinion and justifirs the level of 'automation' on here . I used to write well crafted thoughtful intelligent messages that literally got chucked in the bin .. THAT is why most guys do cut and paste messages because anything that uses a litte effort is not really wanted. Though if it is any consolation some of the women on here frankly arent all that either so it cuts both ways! so dont beat yourself up mate .. just be realistic about what you are looking for and accept it is probably not going to happen .. then add yourself to the number of single guys on here that make up the membership numbers and someday something might change for you .I would suggest trying ( thoughtful messages that have no agenda) you might get a response once or twice .. but then you will probably get lost in the thousands of messages the ladies get on here from idiots and timewasters.
However, unless you are thinking of getting ripped, rich and being very generous .. I wouldn't hold your breath Its nice to dip in and out of the forum and look at the pictures until lockdown ends .. things might change then .. :/
Did you actually stop to consider the fact that if we reply to messages that don't interest us, our current and any future filters are broken thus inviting a string of why not messages or outright abuse?
I didn't 'think' because truthfully I didn't know that's how the filtering system worked . So you are saying that if someone replies to someone on a filtered list that filter no longer applies to that 'category' anymore and it is as though the filter didn't exist? Interesting! "
It doesn't undo the whole filter but it removes the block between you and that person even if you put your filters back up again. Eg if I had mine off and a 40yo contacted me, then I set my filter to 39, that specific 40yo could still contact me but other 40yos can't.
It happens a lot when I remove mine for forum games, hence why I don't do it anymore, and block any stragglers outright. |
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"Oh and for the record I think you’ll find you ‘felt ops pain’ and were moaning about the lack of replies/how it’s rude, before I mentioned anything about the amount of messages women get
yep.. you definitely do not read the whole post before replying.. again I covered all that too ..
I'm sorry but I treat everyone the same you appear to be pushing some kind of veiled feminist agenda at me .. don't .. thanks "
Ah the F word |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I only message people that match what I’m looking for and I also match what they are looking for.
I’d say 7/10 times I get a reply.
I have never understood the ignored messages thing. |
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"I feel your pain OP .. fact is a single guy on here who looks average , is average and does average things is about as lucky as .. nothing .
The old ' FAQ states no reply.. ' is functional but bloody rude in my opinion and justifirs the level of 'automation' on here . I used to write well crafted thoughtful intelligent messages that literally got chucked in the bin .. THAT is why most guys do cut and paste messages because anything that uses a litte effort is not really wanted. Though if it is any consolation some of the women on here frankly arent all that either so it cuts both ways! so dont beat yourself up mate .. just be realistic about what you are looking for and accept it is probably not going to happen .. then add yourself to the number of single guys on here that make up the membership numbers and someday something might change for you .I would suggest trying ( thoughtful messages that have no agenda) you might get a response once or twice .. but then you will probably get lost in the thousands of messages the ladies get on here from idiots and timewasters.
However, unless you are thinking of getting ripped, rich and being very generous .. I wouldn't hold your breath Its nice to dip in and out of the forum and look at the pictures until lockdown ends .. things might change then .. :/
Did you actually stop to consider the fact that if we reply to messages that don't interest us, our current and any future filters are broken thus inviting a string of why not messages or outright abuse?
I didn't 'think' because truthfully I didn't know that's how the filtering system worked . So you are saying that if someone replies to someone on a filtered list that filter no longer applies to that 'category' anymore and it is as though the filter didn't exist? Interesting!
It doesn't undo the whole filter but it removes the block between you and that person even if you put your filters back up again. Eg if I had mine off and a 40yo contacted me, then I set my filter to 39, that specific 40yo could still contact me but other 40yos can't.
It happens a lot when I remove mine for forum games, hence why I don't do it anymore, and block any stragglers outright. "
hey, thanks for the clarification . Thats might be a bit of a design fault to look at ? if anyone wanted to of course ! but good information .. thanks again . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
No pics will guarantee no replies.
The really important warning at the end is a really big sign of someone who doesn’t know sweet fa about this site.
Ditch it. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"I feel your pain OP .. fact is a single guy on here who looks average , is average and does average things is about as lucky as .. nothing .
The old ' FAQ states no reply.. ' is functional but bloody rude in my opinion and justifirs the level of 'automation' on here . I used to write well crafted thoughtful intelligent messages that literally got chucked in the bin .. THAT is why most guys do cut and paste messages because anything that uses a litte effort is not really wanted. Though if it is any consolation some of the women on here frankly arent all that either so it cuts both ways! so dont beat yourself up mate .. just be realistic about what you are looking for and accept it is probably not going to happen .. then add yourself to the number of single guys on here that make up the membership numbers and someday something might change for you .I would suggest trying ( thoughtful messages that have no agenda) you might get a response once or twice .. but then you will probably get lost in the thousands of messages the ladies get on here from idiots and timewasters.
However, unless you are thinking of getting ripped, rich and being very generous .. I wouldn't hold your breath Its nice to dip in and out of the forum and look at the pictures until lockdown ends .. things might change then .. :/
Did you actually stop to consider the fact that if we reply to messages that don't interest us, our current and any future filters are broken thus inviting a string of why not messages or outright abuse?
I didn't 'think' because truthfully I didn't know that's how the filtering system worked . So you are saying that if someone replies to someone on a filtered list that filter no longer applies to that 'category' anymore and it is as though the filter didn't exist? Interesting! "
It doesn't break the whole category, just between the two people concerned. Sorry if I was unclear. But then blocking the ones you aren't interested in could also be a kind of filter as that way they won't show up in newsfeed, searches etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I feel your pain OP .. fact is a single guy on here who looks average , is average and does average things is about as lucky as .. nothing .
The old ' FAQ states no reply.. ' is functional but bloody rude in my opinion and justifirs the level of 'automation' on here . I used to write well crafted thoughtful intelligent messages that literally got chucked in the bin .. THAT is why most guys do cut and paste messages because anything that uses a litte effort is not really wanted. Though if it is any consolation some of the women on here frankly arent all that either so it cuts both ways! so dont beat yourself up mate .. just be realistic about what you are looking for and accept it is probably not going to happen .. then add yourself to the number of single guys on here that make up the membership numbers and someday something might change for you .I would suggest trying ( thoughtful messages that have no agenda) you might get a response once or twice .. but then you will probably get lost in the thousands of messages the ladies get on here from idiots and timewasters.
However, unless you are thinking of getting ripped, rich and being very generous .. I wouldn't hold your breath Its nice to dip in and out of the forum and look at the pictures until lockdown ends .. things might change then .. :/
Did you actually stop to consider the fact that if we reply to messages that don't interest us, our current and any future filters are broken thus inviting a string of why not messages or outright abuse?
I didn't 'think' because truthfully I didn't know that's how the filtering system worked . So you are saying that if someone replies to someone on a filtered list that filter no longer applies to that 'category' anymore and it is as though the filter didn't exist? Interesting!
It doesn't undo the whole filter but it removes the block between you and that person even if you put your filters back up again. Eg if I had mine off and a 40yo contacted me, then I set my filter to 39, that specific 40yo could still contact me but other 40yos can't.
It happens a lot when I remove mine for forum games, hence why I don't do it anymore, and block any stragglers outright.
hey, thanks for the clarification . Thats might be a bit of a design fault to look at ? if anyone wanted to of course ! but good information .. thanks again . "
But people sometimes make exceptions. Ie I could be talking to someone unverified I've made an exception for, put my filter back up and suddenly we're not allowed to talk to each other anymore. Not really fair, is it? |
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Nope you are right it isn't and sensibly there should be a way to return that person to a 'block' state automatically or something ? .. think we have all identified a design fault in the flagging system in the programme perhaps ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Nope you are right it isn't and sensibly there should be a way to return that person to a 'block' state automatically or something ? .. think we have all identified a design fault in the flagging system in the programme perhaps ?"
It's a very simple thing to fix, so the fact it's been left this way generally means there's a reason behind it. The situation I just brought up being a case in point. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Nope you are right it isn't and sensibly there should be a way to return that person to a 'block' state automatically or something ? .. think we have all identified a design fault in the flagging system in the programme perhaps ?"
No fault in the program.
Just people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Nope you are right it isn't and sensibly there should be a way to return that person to a 'block' state automatically or something ? .. think we have all identified a design fault in the flagging system in the programme perhaps ?
No fault in the program.
Just people."
LOL at my old job the IT department had a very technical term called PICNIC - Problem In Chair, Not In Computer  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Nope you are right it isn't and sensibly there should be a way to return that person to a 'block' state automatically or something ? .. think we have all identified a design fault in the flagging system in the programme perhaps ?
No fault in the program.
Just people.
LOL at my old job the IT department had a very technical term called PICNIC - Problem In Chair, Not In Computer "
I love that. |
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"Nope you are right it isn't and sensibly there should be a way to return that person to a 'block' state automatically or something ? .. think we have all identified a design fault in the flagging system in the programme perhaps ?
No fault in the program.
Just people.
No . the problem is not 'in the chair ' or only 1 'user' would be having difficulties.. the problem such as it is is with the system .. the denial on here about this platform and its failings is is frikken laughable sometimes .. fair enough if they dont want to fix it .. whatever ! However, please lets not say its not without its problems even if no one wants to fix them .. :/
LOL at my old job the IT department had a very technical term called PICNIC - Problem In Chair, Not In Computer
I love that. "
|
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"Well, the fact you're losing patience is a huge red flag.
Red flag 2: can't accommodate
Red flag 3: no public pics.
Maybe you should take some "how to enhance your fab experience" lessons.
There's a few in my vidoes.
You're welcome."
Fab experience lesson
Hence the post for feedback
Thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So a woman unable to accomodate without an explanation is fine??
And I do include face pics with message to people that DO match my criteria
"
Not really but even if she’s a cheating cow there’s so many desperate men who don’t care or find it a turn on. |
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"So a woman unable to accomodate without an explanation is fine??
And I do include face pics with message to people that DO match my criteria
"
Just a little question for you because it baffles me. Do you send face pic with first message? |
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"So a woman unable to accomodate without an explanation is fine??
And I do include face pics with message to people that DO match my criteria
Just a little question for you because it baffles me. Do you send face pic with first message? "
Yes always |
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"So a woman unable to accomodate without an explanation is fine??
And I do include face pics with message to people that DO match my criteria
Just a little question for you because it baffles me. Do you send face pic with first message?
Yes always "
Ok so this it what baffles me and i think so many will ever understand, you want to be discreet (which i understand) but send a face pic to a complete stranger for them to do what ever they like with but wont put it on profile. Hence why it baffles me also do you send 1 or 3 pictures with first message? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So a woman unable to accomodate without an explanation is fine??
And I do include face pics with message to people that DO match my criteria
Just a little question for you because it baffles me. Do you send face pic with first message?
Yes always
Ok so this it what baffles me and i think so many will ever understand, you want to be discreet (which i understand) but send a face pic to a complete stranger for them to do what ever they like with but wont put it on profile. Hence why it baffles me also do you send 1 or 3 pictures with first message? "
Having a public face pic, thousands of people can see it. Different sending to 1 or 2. Still risky but less so. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So a woman unable to accomodate without an explanation is fine??
And I do include face pics with message to people that DO match my criteria
Just a little question for you because it baffles me. Do you send face pic with first message?
Yes always
Ok so this it what baffles me and i think so many will ever understand, you want to be discreet (which i understand) but send a face pic to a complete stranger for them to do what ever they like with but wont put it on profile. Hence why it baffles me also do you send 1 or 3 pictures with first message?
Having a public face pic, thousands of people can see it. Different sending to 1 or 2. Still risky but less so."
I'd recognise your cleavage anywhere...  |
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
OP.
Hang on a moment. You have one Verification already in a year; some guys would kill for that!
What you have to remember is this. You are in a vast majority of peers on here all seeking the same goal!
That means in order to succeed on here, you in short, have to SELL yourself. Whilst a CV is important for a job, on here your Profile needs to stand out!
Thus, no public pics of you, will count against you.
The fact you don't accommodate is a Red Flag and puts people off. If you can say WHY you don't accommodate, it will help you.
The Legal Clauses mean nothing, in fact in the past, Admins have said it's of no value and it takes up space in their storage! But put it this way, would you go Public in a Court case to sue any private or corporate being, and show to the world what you do in your private life?
The ladies of this world have the lucky option of being able to choose who they'll consider answering and ultimately meet.
Thus as many of them receive 100's of approaches, they can be choosy. Not getting a reply is part of the chase for you. It's part of FAB life. It's even in the guidelines laid down in FAB admin pages.
You just move on when you don't get a response.
BUT... Add in over the past 8 months, the COVID19 Pandemic which has disrupted everyone's hopes and aspirations on and off this site.
Consider that very few people ARE getting in touch. I keep in touch with some through here, and others I met before COVID, are good contacts with whom I keep in touch informally for whenever we can start meeting again.
Your approach style will eventually work, with Patience and Perseverance.
Good luck! |
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"So a woman unable to accomodate without an explanation is fine??
And I do include face pics with message to people that DO match my criteria
Just a little question for you because it baffles me. Do you send face pic with first message?
Yes always
Ok so this it what baffles me and i think so many will ever understand, you want to be discreet (which i understand) but send a face pic to a complete stranger for them to do what ever they like with but wont put it on profile. Hence why it baffles me also do you send 1 or 3 pictures with first message?
Having a public face pic, thousands of people can see it. Different sending to 1 or 2. Still risky but less so."
That is true but whos to say the people that are receiving said face picture arent actually people you work with, just a musing between a friend and myself.
We have also discussed and I myself have seen them from a single female friends profile they say discreet yet send a message attach a face pic, a body pic then the mighty cock pic well thats being discreet isnt it and say "hows you" genius |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Where on Earth is Hornsville??
And as for that ridiculous 'warning' thingymajiggy at the end. Not legal, not valid , not interesting and shows a "sheep" just copying what other "sheep" copy from various other "sheep"!!
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Where on Earth is Hornsville??
And as for that ridiculous 'warning' thingymajiggy at the end. Not legal, not valid , not interesting and shows a "sheep" just copying what other "sheep" copy from various other "sheep"!!
"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So a woman unable to accomodate without an explanation is fine??
And I do include face pics with message to people that DO match my criteria
Just a little question for you because it baffles me. Do you send face pic with first message?
Yes always
Ok so this it what baffles me and i think so many will ever understand, you want to be discreet (which i understand) but send a face pic to a complete stranger for them to do what ever they like with but wont put it on profile. Hence why it baffles me also do you send 1 or 3 pictures with first message?
Having a public face pic, thousands of people can see it. Different sending to 1 or 2. Still risky but less so.
That is true but whos to say the people that are receiving said face picture arent actually people you work with, just a musing between a friend and myself.
We have also discussed and I myself have seen them from a single female friends profile they say discreet yet send a message attach a face pic, a body pic then the mighty cock pic well thats being discreet isnt it and say "hows you" genius "
Still risky.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do the warnings at the end really work? "
I have often thought this.
And if someone is caught in violation of the profile content how are they realistically going to invoke legal action? It seems they can't. If that crap is to be spouted then have a plan to invoks it.
Going back to the Op, it is hard I understand that. I look at the whole package before I decide to reply, profile/photos/message text.
What I can't stand is when I do reply to guys and they start moaning about getting no replies, well I am here and chatting, if that isn't good enough then scoot. It's not appealing and makes you feel like a booby prize.
|
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We get a fair few messages, some nice and chatty but some are just generic one line fishing messages. The majority of the fishing messages don’t deserve a response, the problem arises though that occasionally a genuinely nice well written message may get lost and ignored in amongst the plethora of one liners. Just send your messages and prepare to be patient. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do the warnings at the end really work?
I have often thought this.
And if someone is caught in violation of the profile content how are they realistically going to invoke legal action? It seems they can't. If that crap is to be spouted then have a plan to invoks it.
Going back to the Op, it is hard I understand that. I look at the whole package before I decide to reply, profile/photos/message text.
*** What I can't stand is when I do reply to guys and they start moaning about getting no replies, well I am here and chatting, if that isn't good enough then scoot. It's not appealing and makes you feel like a booby prize. ***
"
*** Yeah this!
"I can't get anyone else to reply so amuse me"  |
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