FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Making a connection....
Making a connection....
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
So.... I'm in a musing mood this Thursday evening....
As much as sex talk is good and most of us enjoy it, "normal" conversations are equally as good I find.
Getting to know each other, making that connection that could then lead to other things but even if it doesn't , it could still be the start of a beautiful friendship which is always lovely.
Do you find that even once the potential for more is gone, you often continue and become friends with a person on here, or is it more a case of moving on to the next potential? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have plenty that I see as just friends here it’s what I really enjoy about fab. One of my friends here I’ve known at least 6 years. We have never played, we don’t see each other that way but the connection we have is amazing. I introduce him to everyone as my little brother.
I’m as happy to do a social and have just friendship from it as I am to have sex meets. Ultimately I want a new fwb but if I make a few friends along the way I’m good with that too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love making friends, Im a social butterfly generally (pre Covid) talking and getting to know people is great and it doesn't have to lead to anything sexual. Platonic friendships are still wonderful. It's the finding out unique things about eachother that fascinates me.
I've made some amazing friends on here so far. |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I have plenty that I see as just friends here it’s what I really enjoy about fab. One of my friends here I’ve known at least 6 years. We have never played, we don’t see each other that way but the connection we have is amazing. I introduce him to everyone as my little brother.
I’m as happy to do a social and have just friendship from it as I am to have sex meets. Ultimately I want a new fwb but if I make a few friends along the way I’m good with that too "
That's pretty much my view too....
Do you think you'd still be such good friends if you had started by talking sex though? Tell me to butt out if you like, I'm just curious... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i friendzone myself like ALL the time and just chat shite to most folk who message me.
i almost forget what this place is at times and then when convo turns a bit flirty i almost find it odd or strange that even though ive exposed my goofy twatty side these men still 'would' 
There are people ive had proper conversations with and we speak about children, work life etc.. we chat on the phone, send videos to each other and 'non fab' style photos..
equally i speak to some men purely from a horny perspective.
i love this place has variety |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I’m up for any chat. It’s good to talk! It’s just difficult to find a lady that wants to.x"
I think sometimes ladies are wary of starting conversations with men on here, as often if you do start a conversation it can get awkward fast. Most of the friendships I have made like that have started in the forum, maybe you'll find that too.... |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I love making friends, Im a social butterfly generally (pre Covid) talking and getting to know people is great and it doesn't have to lead to anything sexual. Platonic friendships are still wonderful. It's the finding out unique things about eachother that fascinates me.
I've made some amazing friends on here so far. "
Who dis? New phone....  |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"The social side of things is as important as the physical side ... friendships with "benefits" is the best but just friends is great too
Vixen "
Couldn't agree more.... do you find that friendship comes after the initial "maybe we will" or grows on it's own? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have done this on a number of occasions. Am talking to a lovely lady at the moment that regardless of whether we hit it off in person sexually I hope we will remain friends. Yes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have plenty that I see as just friends here it’s what I really enjoy about fab. One of my friends here I’ve known at least 6 years. We have never played, we don’t see each other that way but the connection we have is amazing. I introduce him to everyone as my little brother.
I’m as happy to do a social and have just friendship from it as I am to have sex meets. Ultimately I want a new fwb but if I make a few friends along the way I’m good with that too
That's pretty much my view too....
Do you think you'd still be such good friends if you had started by talking sex though? Tell me to butt out if you like, I'm just curious..."
It all depends if they go cold on me or a bit of a dick then I’m done. But someone I call my best friend on here we started out as a potential fwb situation. We soon realised we couldn’t be that as we wanted different things but gosh I couldn’t live without him in my life. He tells me about his situations and asks advise I tell him about mine and pester him all the time. Any new guys I get soon learn that they will have to meet him at some point 
I’m also really close the someone who I fell for majorly, we still chat and support each other, took at little to get over that point but again I couldn’t imagine him not being part of my life.
And another friend of mine who was my fwb for a while lives too far away and it didn’t work for us, again he’s still my friend. So yeah I can do it no problem when they are open and straight with me.
The times I get annoyed are something I experienced recently someone said they desperately wanted to meet me etc etc and wanted a fwb situation etc etc but then always had every excuse under the sun not to speak to me when they thought they had me. I guess for guys like him it’s the thrill of the chase so I block idiots like that.
Ooops you asked  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It was so rare that I ever met anyone for sex that my connections on here, were virtually all exclusively social and highly likely to be totally so from now on. |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"i friendzone myself like ALL the time and just chat shite to most folk who message me.
i almost forget what this place is at times and then when convo turns a bit flirty i almost find it odd or strange that even though ive exposed my goofy twatty side these men still 'would'
There are people ive had proper conversations with and we speak about children, work life etc.. we chat on the phone, send videos to each other and 'non fab' style photos..
equally i speak to some men purely from a horny perspective.
i love this place has variety "
So you find that even if you've not gone into the conversation in a flirty way the men you're talking to see it differently?
Do you think they would go onto the conversation initially if they realised it was never intended to be as a flirt? |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
It's all very much about the connection and friendship for me - and that always comes before any notion of sex, and in fact without it sex just won't happen -in some instances that friendship and connection has remained just that, in others it's progressed to more, and even in situations where it's progressed to more and then not happened again an element of friendship has been maintained after even so. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I love making friends, Im a social butterfly generally (pre Covid) talking and getting to know people is great and it doesn't have to lead to anything sexual. Platonic friendships are still wonderful. It's the finding out unique things about eachother that fascinates me.
I've made some amazing friends on here so far.
Who dis? New phone.... "
No idea, I've got a new phone too  |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Thank you. Let’s hope so. I am always polite and courteous. Sometimes I think women don’t like that!....lol"
Sometimes you are right, but there are many other reasons too.
Just fyi, if you use reply+quote it's easier to see who you are replying to. |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I have found a few really great connections via fab, both social and play dates. Don’t you just love a like minded connection where it flows easily  "
Most definitely |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I have done this on a number of occasions. Am talking to a lovely lady at the moment that regardless of whether we hit it off in person sexually I hope we will remain friends. Yes."
Was it a friendship connection to begin with though? Or an attraction?
I'm proper nosey tonight. Sorry |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i friendzone myself like ALL the time and just chat shite to most folk who message me.
i almost forget what this place is at times and then when convo turns a bit flirty i almost find it odd or strange that even though ive exposed my goofy twatty side these men still 'would'
There are people ive had proper conversations with and we speak about children, work life etc.. we chat on the phone, send videos to each other and 'non fab' style photos..
equally i speak to some men purely from a horny perspective.
i love this place has variety
So you find that even if you've not gone into the conversation in a flirty way the men you're talking to see it differently?
Do you think they would go onto the conversation initially if they realised it was never intended to be as a flirt?"
a large chunk of my messages are because of forum posts and so there is already intent to those posts that conversation/debate just carries on from that. Ive no idea what their intentions are. Sometimes i am blind to seeing when guys are flirting with me.
my profile from my return has said i'm not meeting during this Covid thing, so hopefully my stance is pretty obvious ..
|
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I have plenty that I see as just friends here it’s what I really enjoy about fab. One of my friends here I’ve known at least 6 years. We have never played, we don’t see each other that way but the connection we have is amazing. I introduce him to everyone as my little brother.
I’m as happy to do a social and have just friendship from it as I am to have sex meets. Ultimately I want a new fwb but if I make a few friends along the way I’m good with that too
That's pretty much my view too....
Do you think you'd still be such good friends if you had started by talking sex though? Tell me to butt out if you like, I'm just curious...
It all depends if they go cold on me or a bit of a dick then I’m done. But someone I call my best friend on here we started out as a potential fwb situation. We soon realised we couldn’t be that as we wanted different things but gosh I couldn’t live without him in my life. He tells me about his situations and asks advise I tell him about mine and pester him all the time. Any new guys I get soon learn that they will have to meet him at some point
I’m also really close the someone who I fell for majorly, we still chat and support each other, took at little to get over that point but again I couldn’t imagine him not being part of my life.
And another friend of mine who was my fwb for a while lives too far away and it didn’t work for us, again he’s still my friend. So yeah I can do it no problem when they are open and straight with me.
The times I get annoyed are something I experienced recently someone said they desperately wanted to meet me etc etc and wanted a fwb situation etc etc but then always had every excuse under the sun not to speak to me when they thought they had me. I guess for guys like him it’s the thrill of the chase so I block idiots like that.
Ooops you asked "
I did ask, and thank you so much!
The situations and relationships you've described are actually so similar to mine!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I do idle chit chat, so wouldn't really say it's real friendship.
Does that mean it can't be though, or that you don't want it to be?"
I'm not really looking to forge solid friendships on this kind of platform |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"It was so rare that I ever met anyone for sex that my connections on here, were virtually all exclusively social and highly likely to be totally so from now on."
Never say never though? |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"It's all very much about the connection and friendship for me - and that always comes before any notion of sex, and in fact without it sex just won't happen -in some instances that friendship and connection has remained just that, in others it's progressed to more, and even in situations where it's progressed to more and then not happened again an element of friendship has been maintained after even so."
Does the connection and friendship not stem from an initial attraction in a physical way sometimes though? As opposed to just, I'm guessing, a forum type conversation. |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I love making friends, Im a social butterfly generally (pre Covid) talking and getting to know people is great and it doesn't have to lead to anything sexual. Platonic friendships are still wonderful. It's the finding out unique things about eachother that fascinates me.
I've made some amazing friends on here so far.
Who dis? New phone....
No idea, I've got a new phone too "
Have you put THAT photo as wallpaper yet? |
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"Thank you. Let’s hope so. I am always polite and courteous. Sometimes I think women don’t like that!....lol
Sometimes you are right, but there are many other reasons too.
Just fyi, if you use reply+quote it's easier to see who you are replying to."
Ok thank you for the little snippets of advice.x |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Rather have some interesting friends and conversations.
Mr KC"
Do you find as a couple that your conversations with people are different depending on which of you answers a message with someone you've been talking to? The nature of it I mean. |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Any conversation would be nice. But I guess seeing as I rarely send messages, conversations won't be happening for me."
Have you ever been a message sender? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I just prefer to play and be silly really I don’t know if anyone has noticed
I’ve got no problem with people flirting and all the sex talk I mean we are on fab after all
But for me at the moment until it all blows over I’m just here for a laugh
There’s some lovely people on here  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I am finding now that I use Fab for more social interactions over sexual encounters.
And the friendships I have formed are not superficial or fickle. Give me that anyday
|
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I do idle chit chat, so wouldn't really say it's real friendship.
Does that mean it can't be though, or that you don't want it to be?
I'm not really looking to forge solid friendships on this kind of platform "
That's a shame I think. But each to their own |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I do idle chit chat, so wouldn't really say it's real friendship.
Does that mean it can't be though, or that you don't want it to be?
I'm not really looking to forge solid friendships on this kind of platform
That's a shame I think. But each to their own"
I don't feel I'm missing out, so it's not a shame |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
So actually looking through my hotlist ive a great variety of guys (including women)..
Some are new from this Fab 'journey' got about 3 men who i would say i am very close too on a personal level. They know a fair amount of my real life and i know a fair amount of theirs too. Phone numbers, video calls etc.. I Hope those friendships build and perhaps they might get sexual.. but if it didnt thats still cool with me
I have one guy from about 7 or 8 years ago i really really fell for.. to this day we have never met. We were on each others social media etc so was more than just a Fab thing. Something inside me just always knew that if we did meet (and fuck) that it would be fireworks for both of us.. He has a long term partner. We both have girls of a very similar age so even after all these years we just gravitate towards each other.. Im now at the point where if i met him would it ruin everything? If i met him id be gutted if i was a disappointment.
I also have people on my facebook/insta from my previous years on here, I see them as long distance friends.. we are human and sound normal people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It was so rare that I ever met anyone for sex that my connections on here, were virtually all exclusively social and highly likely to be totally so from now on.
Never say never though?"
I seriously doubt I’ll ever be meeting anyone for sex again. I’m really only here now as a bit of escapism every so often. |
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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago
Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe |
"Any conversation would be nice. But I guess seeing as I rarely send messages, conversations won't be happening for me.
Have you ever been a message sender?"
I've sent one or two, mainly to talk about Bake Off when the last series was on.
The daft thing is, in my day-to-day life I do a lot of talking, and I talk for a hobby, too |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
On the whole yes. Sometimes that potential for more disappears because I realise they are an utter pillock and if that's the case, strangely enough I don't quite want to be friends with them and I let the conversation fade.
I wish I could be slightly pious and say that I only talk to people with the intention of getting to know them as a person but sometimes it's because I'm feeling a bit frisky and I think "they're really hot/sound sexy, I'd quite like to flirt with them". I think I talk a lot so they have to put up with long soliloquies more often than not and that's a drag when you're just wanting a quick wank/cock sock so I tend to find like minded souls.
Generally I enjoy making connections with people and I'm a curious/nosey soul - I like finding out what makes people tick, what they're passionate about, who they are away from fab. And whether that leads to a dalliance or not, that's one of the most enjoyable parts for me. |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Thank you. Let’s hope so. I am always polite and courteous. Sometimes I think women don’t like that!....lol
Sometimes you are right, but there are many other reasons too.
Just fyi, if you use reply+quote it's easier to see who you are replying to.
Ok thank you for the little snippets of advice.x"
No worries, any time |
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"Thank you. Let’s hope so. I am always polite and courteous. Sometimes I think women don’t like that!....lol
Sometimes you are right, but there are many other reasons too.
Just fyi, if you use reply+quote it's easier to see who you are replying to.
Ok thank you for the little snippets of advice.x
No worries, any time "
Just viewed your profile but I’m out of your age range. Would you recommend I put a Spice Girls song lyrics on my bio?....lol |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I just prefer to play and be silly really I don’t know if anyone has noticed
I’ve got no problem with people flirting and all the sex talk I mean we are on fab after all
But for me at the moment until it all blows over I’m just here for a laugh
There’s some lovely people on here "
I couldn't agree more! There really are.
And you're one of them. So, you like to play and be silly? I've not noticed  |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I am finding now that I use Fab for more social interactions over sexual encounters.
And the friendships I have formed are not superficial or fickle. Give me that anyday
"
Oh goodness yes. I'd take the good solid friendships over anything else |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"We really need to "like" the people we play with as its very intimate ....and a connection is very important ...but if its right ...BINGO !!! "
But if the sexual connection isn't there have you found you've made a friendship connection? Or has it tended to fizzle out? |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"So actually looking through my hotlist ive a great variety of guys (including women)..
Some are new from this Fab 'journey' got about 3 men who i would say i am very close too on a personal level. They know a fair amount of my real life and i know a fair amount of theirs too. Phone numbers, video calls etc.. I Hope those friendships build and perhaps they might get sexual.. but if it didnt thats still cool with me
I have one guy from about 7 or 8 years ago i really really fell for.. to this day we have never met. We were on each others social media etc so was more than just a Fab thing. Something inside me just always knew that if we did meet (and fuck) that it would be fireworks for both of us.. He has a long term partner. We both have girls of a very similar age so even after all these years we just gravitate towards each other.. Im now at the point where if i met him would it ruin everything? If i met him id be gutted if i was a disappointment.
I also have people on my facebook/insta from my previous years on here, I see them as long distance friends.. we are human and sound normal people. "
Yeah, I get that with the long term guy... |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"It was so rare that I ever met anyone for sex that my connections on here, were virtually all exclusively social and highly likely to be totally so from now on.
Never say never though?
I seriously doubt I’ll ever be meeting anyone for sex again. I’m really only here now as a bit of escapism every so often."
As you know Doc, I have always enjoyed your every so often visits.... |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Any conversation would be nice. But I guess seeing as I rarely send messages, conversations won't be happening for me.
Have you ever been a message sender?
I've sent one or two, mainly to talk about Bake Off when the last series was on.
The daft thing is, in my day-to-day life I do a lot of talking, and I talk for a hobby, too "
Maybe you are all talked of by the time you get to here then? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm still very new here and have only really had one chat with someone with a possibility of anything further. Whilst I'm optimistic that it could come to something in the future, the realist in me suspects it will come to nothing. I hope if nothing does happen we can continue to chat, flirt and be friends.
As a man messaging women, the thing that worries me most is striking a balance between needy/annoying and cold /aloof, especially considering how many shitty messages the women on here receive every day.
As someone who is quite* introverted irl communicating via text does allow me a certain amount of (fake) confidence but at the cost of the visual cues that let you know someone isn't interested anymore.
Anyway this is my d*unk way of saying I like it here and I'm keen to make more friends amongst a community I've stumbled upon but seem to have a lot in common with |
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By *icearmsMan
over a year ago
KIDLINGTON |
I'm fairly laid back and easy going. I'm happy to chat and get to know anyone. One day maybe say hello in person if we happen to frequent a social event etc.
In these times its good to chat to people as normal social interaction is limited. I'll happily exchange messages and chat shit. |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"On the whole yes. Sometimes that potential for more disappears because I realise they are an utter pillock and if that's the case, strangely enough I don't quite want to be friends with them and I let the conversation fade.
I wish I could be slightly pious and say that I only talk to people with the intention of getting to know them as a person but sometimes it's because I'm feeling a bit frisky and I think "they're really hot/sound sexy, I'd quite like to flirt with them". I think I talk a lot so they have to put up with long soliloquies more often than not and that's a drag when you're just wanting a quick wank/cock sock so I tend to find like minded souls.
Generally I enjoy making connections with people and I'm a curious/nosey soul - I like finding out what makes people tick, what they're passionate about, who they are away from fab. And whether that leads to a dalliance or not, that's one of the most enjoyable parts for me. "
Oh Melifluous Meli...
It's almost as if you jump into my brain sometimes.
I've noticed the quick wank guys don't enjoy my babble either. It's a good gauge I think  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’ll be the odd one out and say ‘moving on’.
I’m not here for endless chat, forums are different, but I’m here for the obvious
Meet some great people and friendship has remained with those, but no, here to play  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm fairly laid back and easy going. I'm happy to chat and get to know anyone. One day maybe say hello in person if we happen to frequent a social event etc.
In these times its good to chat to people as normal social interaction is limited. I'll happily exchange messages and chat shit. "
can confirm you are a gent and perfect plus 1 to social events  x |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"It's all very much about the connection and friendship for me - and that always comes before any notion of sex, and in fact without it sex just won't happen -in some instances that friendship and connection has remained just that, in others it's progressed to more, and even in situations where it's progressed to more and then not happened again an element of friendship has been maintained after even so.
Does the connection and friendship not stem from an initial attraction in a physical way sometimes though? As opposed to just, I'm guessing, a forum type conversation."
Not necessarily no - I can think of several friendships and connections I have which have never been about physical attraction despite the fact I may have seen that person naked and more - of course there are people I'm drawn to by attraction too, but it's usually as much to do with having seen them interact on the forums as anything physical. |
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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago
Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe |
"Any conversation would be nice. But I guess seeing as I rarely send messages, conversations won't be happening for me.
Have you ever been a message sender?
I've sent one or two, mainly to talk about Bake Off when the last series was on.
The daft thing is, in my day-to-day life I do a lot of talking, and I talk for a hobby, too
Maybe you are all talked of by the time you get to here then?"
Hahaha. I can be very social and then I can just switch off and live in silence. |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Thank you. Let’s hope so. I am always polite and courteous. Sometimes I think women don’t like that!....lol
Sometimes you are right, but there are many other reasons too.
Just fyi, if you use reply+quote it's easier to see who you are replying to.
Ok thank you for the little snippets of advice.x
No worries, any time
Just viewed your profile but I’m out of your age range. Would you recommend I put a Spice Girls song lyrics on my bio?....lol"
Oh god no. That was something I did weeks ago for a giggle and I've just never changed it. I should do something with it really |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I've chatted to quite a few people from here and taken things to kik/WhatsApp, some I've met or just chat about nonsense in everyday life... Or fashion advice
It's just another platform to get to know decent people  .
So to those who I've got to know, whether on fab now or no more, thank you  "
And you're a gent as well. |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Lovely positive thread NSP.
I’ve met many a great folk on here. Has kept me sane though lockdown. IMO more genuine folk than you’d find on FB or the like. "
Thanks Jimbob....
I would tend to agree with that. You don't get as much showboating on here as elsewhere. People do tend to show their genuine selves. On the whole anyway |
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By *icearmsMan
over a year ago
KIDLINGTON |
"I'm fairly laid back and easy going. I'm happy to chat and get to know anyone. One day maybe say hello in person if we happen to frequent a social event etc.
In these times its good to chat to people as normal social interaction is limited. I'll happily exchange messages and chat shit.
can confirm you are a gent and perfect plus 1 to social events x "
Ahh thanks.. you made the social an enjoyable evening... x |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
Most of my friends on here are just platonic. Which is fine with me.
I've lost a few friends over time, including a couple of valued ones, but i still have some that I'm glad to share a few laughs with and a few others that a can have some sexier moments with too. |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Since i've been on fab, my profile has said the same thing, i'm not meeting anyone, i'd rather talk and get to know someone first, "
I think that's the best way for me too. But do you strike up conversation with people you don't find physically appealing with the aim of friendship as well as those you are attracted to? |
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"Rather have some interesting friends and conversations.
Mr KC
Do you find as a couple that your conversations with people are different depending on which of you answers a message with someone you've been talking to? The nature of it I mean."
To be fair, N is far more social and answers the messages, as she's quicker off the mark than I am, and I don't interrupt a conversation in flow. I find people who assume that it's me that look after the messages, and just want to sleep with N, don't do very well though...
Mr KC |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I'm still very new here and have only really had one chat with someone with a possibility of anything further. Whilst I'm optimistic that it could come to something in the future, the realist in me suspects it will come to nothing. I hope if nothing does happen we can continue to chat, flirt and be friends.
As a man messaging women, the thing that worries me most is striking a balance between needy/annoying and cold /aloof, especially considering how many shitty messages the women on here receive every day.
As someone who is quite* introverted irl communicating via text does allow me a certain amount of (fake) confidence but at the cost of the visual cues that let you know someone isn't interested anymore.
Anyway this is my d*unk way of saying I like it here and I'm keen to make more friends amongst a community I've stumbled upon but seem to have a lot in common with "
You've certainly found a good community to be a part of. And I'm sure you'll make more friends.
I think the balance can be very hard to find, there are so many variables that the initial message needs to meet or dodge. |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I'm fairly laid back and easy going. I'm happy to chat and get to know anyone. One day maybe say hello in person if we happen to frequent a social event etc.
In these times its good to chat to people as normal social interaction is limited. I'll happily exchange messages and chat shit. "
I agree. It's been a relief to find a place here during lockdown |
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One of the great pleasures in life is getting to know strangers and finding connections that can make long term friends, people really can be very interesting and open if you open up and just be honest with them first (within reason).
Something I've missed the last few years as my ex had an issue with me randomly chatting to everyone, so unfortunately had to reign it in a bit.
Looking forward to ending covid so I can get back to chatting to randoms.
Lovely post aren't we a social bunch |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It was so rare that I ever met anyone for sex that my connections on here, were virtually all exclusively social and highly likely to be totally so from now on.
Never say never though?
I seriously doubt I’ll ever be meeting anyone for sex again. I’m really only here now as a bit of escapism every so often.
As you know Doc, I have always enjoyed your every so often visits...."
Thanks. The feeling is mutual. I enjoy your posts |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I’ll be the odd one out and say ‘moving on’.
I’m not here for endless chat, forums are different, but I’m here for the obvious
Meet some great people and friendship has remained with those, but no, here to play "
Have you found yourself using the forums more during lockdown or has fab been less of a feature of your life because meets can't happen?
Again, tell me to butt out if I'm being too nosey |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"It's all very much about the connection and friendship for me - and that always comes before any notion of sex, and in fact without it sex just won't happen -in some instances that friendship and connection has remained just that, in others it's progressed to more, and even in situations where it's progressed to more and then not happened again an element of friendship has been maintained after even so.
Does the connection and friendship not stem from an initial attraction in a physical way sometimes though? As opposed to just, I'm guessing, a forum type conversation.
Not necessarily no - I can think of several friendships and connections I have which have never been about physical attraction despite the fact I may have seen that person naked and more - of course there are people I'm drawn to by attraction too, but it's usually as much to do with having seen them interact on the forums as anything physical."
Thank you for sharing your experience |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Any conversation would be nice. But I guess seeing as I rarely send messages, conversations won't be happening for me.
Have you ever been a message sender?
I've sent one or two, mainly to talk about Bake Off when the last series was on.
The daft thing is, in my day-to-day life I do a lot of talking, and I talk for a hobby, too
Maybe you are all talked of by the time you get to here then?
Hahaha. I can be very social and then I can just switch off and live in silence."
I tend to be so quiet in real life. Silence is my friend. |
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By *ildbillkidMan
over a year ago
where the road goes on forever |
"Since i've been on fab, my profile has said the same thing, i'm not meeting anyone, i'd rather talk and get to know someone first,
I think that's the best way for me too. But do you strike up conversation with people you don't find physically appealing with the aim of friendship as well as those you are attracted to?"
sure, if they talk to me first, the forums are good place to get noticed, to show who you are and maybe attract intrest from others , gain some common ground other than sex, and being thousands of miles away chatting is all thats going to happen anyway |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Most of my friends on here are just platonic. Which is fine with me.
I've lost a few friends over time, including a couple of valued ones, but i still have some that I'm glad to share a few laughs with and a few others that a can have some sexier moments with too. "
Sadly I think that some friendships, no matter how valued, have a shelf life. And that's more true of virtual connections than others. It is a shame, but as long as joy is shared between you for that time it should be looked on as a positive experience |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Rather have some interesting friends and conversations.
Mr KC
Do you find as a couple that your conversations with people are different depending on which of you answers a message with someone you've been talking to? The nature of it I mean.
To be fair, N is far more social and answers the messages, as she's quicker off the mark than I am, and I don't interrupt a conversation in flow. I find people who assume that it's me that look after the messages, and just want to sleep with N, don't do very well though...
Mr KC"
I'd say that's probably true of many couples. I am glad you've begun to be more social on the forum though Mr... |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"One of the great pleasures in life is getting to know strangers and finding connections that can make long term friends, people really can be very interesting and open if you open up and just be honest with them first (within reason).
Something I've missed the last few years as my ex had an issue with me randomly chatting to everyone, so unfortunately had to reign it in a bit.
Looking forward to ending covid so I can get back to chatting to randoms.
Lovely post aren't we a social bunch "
We do seem to be a very social bunch, this really is confirming everything I'd thought about forum people to be honest |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"It was so rare that I ever met anyone for sex that my connections on here, were virtually all exclusively social and highly likely to be totally so from now on.
Never say never though?
I seriously doubt I’ll ever be meeting anyone for sex again. I’m really only here now as a bit of escapism every so often.
As you know Doc, I have always enjoyed your every so often visits.... Thanks. The feeling is mutual. I enjoy your posts "
Oh Doc thank you |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Since i've been on fab, my profile has said the same thing, i'm not meeting anyone, i'd rather talk and get to know someone first,
I think that's the best way for me too. But do you strike up conversation with people you don't find physically appealing with the aim of friendship as well as those you are attracted to?sure, if they talk to me first, the forums are good place to get noticed, to show who you are and maybe attract intrest from others , gain some common ground other than sex, and being thousands of miles away chatting is all thats going to happen anyway"
That's true. The world seems to have become an awfully big place again since March |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have a ocean of friends already whom I did not pick online.
I joined fab really to find FWB, yet found an intelligent lady whom I fell in friends with. We literally are speaking about cars science space....
Some who don’t have the common essence of connection, may find it boring and discontinue. But some who understands that the person has contributed a part of your thoughts deserved to be remembered. Thanks to her being a part of my life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have done this on a number of occasions. Am talking to a lovely lady at the moment that regardless of whether we hit it off in person sexually I hope we will remain friends. Yes.
Was it a friendship connection to begin with though? Or an attraction?
I'm proper nosey tonight. Sorry "
Actually welcomed her to Fab and left it at that. We’ve been chatting since. Attraction - hell yes but actually makes a change to find an articulate chatterbox |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've got friends on this thread and one or two that aren't who have/are getting me through the darkest place you could ever imagine.
Some I've trusted with my deepest secrets, one knows more than anyone else in my life and I trust them all... you just can't buy that can you?
But does that mean I'm attractive to them..? Oh I strongly doubt it I'm friend zoned by some I know as I'm kinder than I am good looking...lol
However what it does mean is I have a tiny handful of friends who I can call on and who I'm there for should they need me..
You know who you are |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've got friends on this thread and one or two that aren't who have/are getting me through the darkest place you could ever imagine.
Some I've trusted with my deepest secrets, one knows more than anyone else in my life and I trust them all... you just can't buy that can you?
But does that mean I'm attractive to them..? Oh I strongly doubt it I'm friend zoned by some I know as I'm kinder than I am good looking...lol
However what it does mean is I have a tiny handful of friends who I can call on and who I'm there for should they need me..
You know who you are "
Hope you get through that dark place. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So.... I'm in a musing mood this Thursday evening....
As much as sex talk is good and most of us enjoy it, "normal" conversations are equally as good I find.
Getting to know each other, making that connection that could then lead to other things but even if it doesn't , it could still be the start of a beautiful friendship which is always lovely.
Do you find that even once the potential for more is gone, you often continue and become friends with a person on here, or is it more a case of moving on to the next potential?"
If I've gotten to know a person already and we meet and there isn't sexual chemistry I would still happily chat away with them, or meet them again socially say. I came here hoping to make friends as well as whoopie and love to get those non sexual chats with folks as it's those chats that are the most relaxed and feel easier and more personal.
The flirty chats where everything is mixed with innuendo as you both set the stage, so to speak, for a meet are awesome, but also mentally tiring lol |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I have a ocean of friends already whom I did not pick online.
I joined fab really to find FWB, yet found an intelligent lady whom I fell in friends with. We literally are speaking about cars science space....
Some who don’t have the common essence of connection, may find it boring and discontinue. But some who understands that the person has contributed a part of your thoughts deserved to be remembered. Thanks to her being a part of my life. "
That is think is true of so many of us |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I have done this on a number of occasions. Am talking to a lovely lady at the moment that regardless of whether we hit it off in person sexually I hope we will remain friends. Yes.
Was it a friendship connection to begin with though? Or an attraction?
I'm proper nosey tonight. Sorry
Actually welcomed her to Fab and left it at that. We’ve been chatting since. Attraction - hell yes but actually makes a change to find an articulate chatterbox "
That's lovely! |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I've got friends on this thread and one or two that aren't who have/are getting me through the darkest place you could ever imagine.
Some I've trusted with my deepest secrets, one knows more than anyone else in my life and I trust them all... you just can't buy that can you?
But does that mean I'm attractive to them..? Oh I strongly doubt it I'm friend zoned by some I know as I'm kinder than I am good looking...lol
However what it does mean is I have a tiny handful of friends who I can call on and who I'm there for should they need me..
You know who you are "
A handful or even a couple is sometimes all you need |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"So.... I'm in a musing mood this Thursday evening....
As much as sex talk is good and most of us enjoy it, "normal" conversations are equally as good I find.
Getting to know each other, making that connection that could then lead to other things but even if it doesn't , it could still be the start of a beautiful friendship which is always lovely.
Do you find that even once the potential for more is gone, you often continue and become friends with a person on here, or is it more a case of moving on to the next potential?
If I've gotten to know a person already and we meet and there isn't sexual chemistry I would still happily chat away with them, or meet them again socially say. I came here hoping to make friends as well as whoopie and love to get those non sexual chats with folks as it's those chats that are the most relaxed and feel easier and more personal.
The flirty chats where everything is mixed with innuendo as you both set the stage, so to speak, for a meet are awesome, but also mentally tiring lol "
Oh god yes.... constant sex chat can be so draining. Really fun, but sometimes it can be hard to keep it up for long.
(No innuendo lol)
I like a mixture of both in my chat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So.... I'm in a musing mood this Thursday evening....
As much as sex talk is good and most of us enjoy it, "normal" conversations are equally as good I find.
Getting to know each other, making that connection that could then lead to other things but even if it doesn't , it could still be the start of a beautiful friendship which is always lovely.
Do you find that even once the potential for more is gone, you often continue and become friends with a person on here, or is it more a case of moving on to the next potential?
If I've gotten to know a person already and we meet and there isn't sexual chemistry I would still happily chat away with them, or meet them again socially say. I came here hoping to make friends as well as whoopie and love to get those non sexual chats with folks as it's those chats that are the most relaxed and feel easier and more personal.
The flirty chats where everything is mixed with innuendo as you both set the stage, so to speak, for a meet are awesome, but also mentally tiring lol
Oh god yes.... constant sex chat can be so draining. Really fun, but sometimes it can be hard to keep it up for long.
(No innuendo lol)
I like a mixture of both in my chat."
I'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks like this lol but yes, a mixture of both is best |
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"Rather have some interesting friends and conversations.
Mr KC
Do you find as a couple that your conversations with people are different depending on which of you answers a message with someone you've been talking to? The nature of it I mean.
To be fair, N is far more social and answers the messages, as she's quicker off the mark than I am, and I don't interrupt a conversation in flow. I find people who assume that it's me that look after the messages, and just want to sleep with N, don't do very well though...
Mr KC
I'd say that's probably true of many couples. I am glad you've begun to be more social on the forum though Mr..."
Me too! There's some lovely people on here - personality and looks wise
Mr KC |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Well I don't like to break a habit but I've always liked a good communication with people sometimes I get one back sometimes I get told the wonderful f word |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I enjoy the social aspect of the lifestyle and prefer having a social first if the attraction is there for both i think it builds the sexual chemistry, if however the attraction isn't there but you bond on a personal level its nice to make a new fab friend you can meet for drinks and laughs. I'm sure lots of us have met at clubs or socials and hit it off with someone but never played together i have and even after yrs of not seeing each other I know shes there if I need her |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Rather have some interesting friends and conversations.
Mr KC
Do you find as a couple that your conversations with people are different depending on which of you answers a message with someone you've been talking to? The nature of it I mean.
To be fair, N is far more social and answers the messages, as she's quicker off the mark than I am, and I don't interrupt a conversation in flow. I find people who assume that it's me that look after the messages, and just want to sleep with N, don't do very well though...
Mr KC
I'd say that's probably true of many couples. I am glad you've begun to be more social on the forum though Mr...
Me too! There's some lovely people on here - personality and looks wise
Mr KC"
There really are! |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Well I don't like to break a habit but I've always liked a good communication with people sometimes I get one back sometimes I get told the wonderful f word "
It's always a shame when that happens |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I enjoy the social aspect of the lifestyle and prefer having a social first if the attraction is there for both i think it builds the sexual chemistry, if however the attraction isn't there but you bond on a personal level its nice to make a new fab friend you can meet for drinks and laughs. I'm sure lots of us have met at clubs or socials and hit it off with someone but never played together i have and even after yrs of not seeing each other I know shes there if I need her "
It's a wonderful thing to make a friend like that |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Friendship here can be so important. It can make the sex a hell of a lot better - or just enrich your life by finding people you'd never expect to connect with."
I couldn't agree more |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Friendship here can be so important. It can make the sex a hell of a lot better - or just enrich your life by finding people you'd never expect to connect with.
I couldn't agree more
I'm still working on it though "
I think we are all a work in progress.... |
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"Friendship here can be so important. It can make the sex a hell of a lot better - or just enrich your life by finding people you'd never expect to connect with.
I couldn't agree more
I'm still working on it though
I think we are all a work in progress...."
I mean my friends who are "just" friends. Spaghetti |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A lot of chats I have are to become friends. And see how thing move forward. I do enjoy the sex chat. But also enjoy meeting like minded honest people. To just talk about anything |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
I have swinging friends that I like watching play, I have swinging friends I like just talking to and I have swinging friends I want to fuck; the things is sometimes people can move between the three buckets |
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The majority of people I've started chatting to from the fora I have no prospect of meeting, due to distance! So those I have formed friendships with it's purely because we've connected personality-wise. I mean, sure, long-term I'd love to do a big fab road trip sex tour, but it's not the driving factor in me chatting to people
Mrs TMN x |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I’m good at making connections. That feeling of satisfaction as you drop the counter and make 4 in a row is euphoric. "
Connect with me Fiddles. I've got a travel one of them, we can do it anywhere |
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"I’m good at making connections. That feeling of satisfaction as you drop the counter and make 4 in a row is euphoric.
Connect with me Fiddles. I've got a travel one of them, we can do it anywhere "
Naked connect 4. Loser strips. |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"A lot of chats I have are to become friends. And see how thing move forward. I do enjoy the sex chat. But also enjoy meeting like minded honest people. To just talk about anything"
Isn't it great when you find someone honest on your wave length! |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I’m good at making connections. That feeling of satisfaction as you drop the counter and make 4 in a row is euphoric.
Connect with me Fiddles. I've got a travel one of them, we can do it anywhere
Naked connect 4. Loser strips. "
Your predictability is just a part of your charm. Hopefully so is mine.
You're on |
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"Rather have some interesting friends and conversations.
Mr KC
Do you find as a couple that your conversations with people are different depending on which of you answers a message with someone you've been talking to? The nature of it I mean.
To be fair, N is far more social and answers the messages, as she's quicker off the mark than I am, and I don't interrupt a conversation in flow. I find people who assume that it's me that look after the messages, and just want to sleep with N, don't do very well though...
Mr KC"
Ha! We can totally identify.
It is me doing most of the chatting, but yes, people who approach us essentially asking Mr for a shottie on me don't get very far
Mrs TMN x |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I have swinging friends that I like watching play, I have swinging friends I like just talking to and I have swinging friends I want to fuck; the things is sometimes people can move between the three buckets "
Oooh flexible friends. They're always damn good to have |
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"I’m good at making connections. That feeling of satisfaction as you drop the counter and make 4 in a row is euphoric.
Connect with me Fiddles. I've got a travel one of them, we can do it anywhere
Naked connect 4. Loser strips.
Your predictability is just a part of your charm. Hopefully so is mine.
You're on "
I like consistency. You can have first drop. |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"The majority of people I've started chatting to from the fora I have no prospect of meeting, due to distance! So those I have formed friendships with it's purely because we've connected personality-wise. I mean, sure, long-term I'd love to do a big fab road trip sex tour, but it's not the driving factor in me chatting to people
Mrs TMN x"
Oh my god! This! The fab curse is definitely distance.
There are some people that I know were I ever to actually be 400+ miles from home I'd definitely want to jump them, but actually we are becoming pretty good friends and by the time i actually manage to make the trip it would probably have become weird....  |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I’m good at making connections. That feeling of satisfaction as you drop the counter and make 4 in a row is euphoric.
Connect with me Fiddles. I've got a travel one of them, we can do it anywhere
Naked connect 4. Loser strips.
Your predictability is just a part of your charm. Hopefully so is mine.
You're on
I like consistency. You can have first drop. "
3rd column in, my left |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"The majority of my meets are still very good friends with me and we repeat meet as often as we can. The others it was their choice not to but thats OK as well
"
I've always thought that's the best way. Repeat meets are my favourite way forward. |
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"Rather have some interesting friends and conversations.
Mr KC
Do you find as a couple that your conversations with people are different depending on which of you answers a message with someone you've been talking to? The nature of it I mean.
To be fair, N is far more social and answers the messages, as she's quicker off the mark than I am, and I don't interrupt a conversation in flow. I find people who assume that it's me that look after the messages, and just want to sleep with N, don't do very well though...
Mr KC
Ha! We can totally identify.
It is me doing most of the chatting, but yes, people who approach us essentially asking Mr for a shottie on me don't get very far
Mrs TMN x"
Always amuses her! Good to see another couple where the lady is the main chatter.
I should get some conversations going to be fair, but I've not contributed enough to the forums to get an idea of people and vice versa.
Mr KC |
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"So.... I'm in a musing mood this Thursday evening....
As much as sex talk is good and most of us enjoy it, "normal" conversations are equally as good I find.
Getting to know each other, making that connection that could then lead to other things but even if it doesn't , it could still be the start of a beautiful friendship which is always lovely.
Do you find that even once the potential for more is gone, you often continue and become friends with a person on here, or is it more a case of moving on to the next potential?"
I have a few friends on here I chat to, I probably would not meet them for sexy time but lovely peeps who I enjoy a friend connection with. |
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