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Can you change
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"Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought I really don't like who I am right now...
Then done something about it?
"
From an outside perspective I am about as good as I am ever going to get (probably going down hill I’m afraid, not ageing well)
From an inside perspective I am learning to be more resilient and that has generated confidence and contentment.
I have many days where I do not like the way I look but I have far fewer days where I do not like who I have become |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes, I have and I work hard every day to be come a better person.
I read that as "wank hard every day"  
My mind is in the gutter today 
Lu 
My wanking doesn't need help  "
Don't change too much...i think you're pretty cool as you are  |
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"Yes, I have and I work hard every day to be come a better person.
I read that as "wank hard every day"
My mind is in the gutter today
Lu
My wanking doesn't need help
Don't change too much...i think you're pretty cool as you are "
Thank you
I like me. I want to be me but more so |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes, I have and I work hard every day to be come a better person.
I read that as "wank hard every day"
My mind is in the gutter today
Lu
My wanking doesn't need help
Don't change too much...i think you're pretty cool as you are
Thank you
I like me. I want to be me but more so "
That's an acceptable change  |
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"Yes, I have and I work hard every day to be come a better person.
I read that as "wank hard every day"
My mind is in the gutter today
Lu
My wanking doesn't need help
Don't change too much...i think you're pretty cool as you are
Thank you
I like me. I want to be me but more so
That's an acceptable change "
I'm glad you approve |
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"Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought I really don't like who I am right now...
Then done something about it?
From an outside perspective I am about as good as I am ever going to get (probably going down hill I’m afraid, not ageing well)
From an inside perspective I am learning to be more resilient and that has generated confidence and contentment.
I have many days where I do not like the way I look but I have far fewer days where I do not like who I have become "
Acceptance is uplifting |
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"Looked in the mirror saw how sad and thin I looked so dumped hubby no 1 ,30 years later with hubby no2 and like me and how I look after 25 years of being built back up by present hubby .love him "
|
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"Not really. Only in as much as telling myself to get my arse in gear sometimes.
Does that work Nora?
Sometimes. Not always x"
I'm always happy to give a get off your arse spiel if your's doesn't work x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not really. Only in as much as telling myself to get my arse in gear sometimes.
Does that work Nora?
Sometimes. Not always x
I'm always happy to give a get off your arse spiel if your's doesn't work x "
Thanks. I need it sometimes! |
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"Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought I really don't like who I am right now...
Then done something about it?
"
Seriously... Yes, I covered up my mirror, it's been covered up for almost 3 years. |
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Funnily enough my friend sent me a pic just the other day of us taking our girls to a Tweenies concert 20yrs ago. I look more or less the same as i do now. Same figure, hair and clothes. I must be dull. Would love to change my hair colour and be more adventurous with clothes and make up but left it all a bit too late now. |
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"I think self exploration and reconstruction has been a vital part of my self actualisation. It's made me a whole person.
It's fucking hard work but for me it's the only way."
You are emotionally intelligent swing and focused on the goal, I know you will not stop till you have worked it out x |
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"Funnily enough my friend sent me a pic just the other day of us taking our girls to a Tweenies concert 20yrs ago. I look more or less the same as i do now. Same figure, hair and clothes. I must be dull. Would love to change my hair colour and be more adventurous with clothes and make up but left it all a bit too late now."
No such thing as too late. Be who you want x |
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"I think self exploration and reconstruction has been a vital part of my self actualisation. It's made me a whole person.
It's fucking hard work but for me it's the only way.
You are emotionally intelligent swing and focused on the goal, I know you will not stop till you have worked it out x"
Or until I get too fucking tired and need a break
I have of course chosen a pandemic as a time to prod at my deepest demons. Emotionally intelligent, strong... stubborn, stupid
Swings and roundabouts |
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"Not really. Only in as much as telling myself to get my arse in gear sometimes.
Does that work Nora?
Sometimes. Not always x
I'm always happy to give a get off your arse spiel if your's doesn't work x
Thanks. I need it sometimes! "
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"Funnily enough my friend sent me a pic just the other day of us taking our girls to a Tweenies concert 20yrs ago. I look more or less the same as i do now. Same figure, hair and clothes. I must be dull. Would love to change my hair colour and be more adventurous with clothes and make up but left it all a bit too late now."
You're a timeless classic my dear  |
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My mental illness has always been from looking in the mirror and hating everything about myself. But for a while now I’ve realised that I am who I am so I suppose I’ve just changed my mindset and thought more positively.
Oh and I bought a penis extender pump |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I did. As a teenager I was a sarcastic and verbally vicious little shit. I was right and everyone else was wrong. I changed my whole philosophy. Now I let people be, so long as they are doing no harm to others what business is it of mine. Want to eat 20 Big Macs, put glitter in your beard, dress up in a pink tutu and dance around to ABBA? All power to you. Enjoy yourself. Life's for living. |
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"Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought I really don't like who I am right now...
Then done something about it?
Seriously... Yes, I covered up my mirror, it's been covered up for almost 3 years."
I wish you luck with your journey |
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"Funnily enough my friend sent me a pic just the other day of us taking our girls to a Tweenies concert 20yrs ago. I look more or less the same as i do now. Same figure, hair and clothes. I must be dull. Would love to change my hair colour and be more adventurous with clothes and make up but left it all a bit too late now."
Are you happy with your reflection right now? |
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"I think self exploration and reconstruction has been a vital part of my self actualisation. It's made me a whole person.
It's fucking hard work but for me it's the only way.
You are emotionally intelligent swing and focused on the goal, I know you will not stop till you have worked it out x
Or until I get too fucking tired and need a break
I have of course chosen a pandemic as a time to prod at my deepest demons. Emotionally intelligent, strong... stubborn, stupid
Swings and roundabouts"
|
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"My mental illness has always been from looking in the mirror and hating everything about myself. But for a while now I’ve realised that I am who I am so I suppose I’ve just changed my mindset and thought more positively.
Oh and I bought a penis extender pump "
Acceptance is wonderful, good luck with your pump |
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"I did. As a teenager I was a sarcastic and verbally vicious little shit. I was right and everyone else was wrong. I changed my whole philosophy. Now I let people be, so long as they are doing no harm to others what business is it of mine. Want to eat 20 Big Macs, put glitter in your beard, dress up in a pink tutu and dance around to ABBA? All power to you. Enjoy yourself. Life's for living."
|
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"Funnily enough my friend sent me a pic just the other day of us taking our girls to a Tweenies concert 20yrs ago. I look more or less the same as i do now. Same figure, hair and clothes. I must be dull. Would love to change my hair colour and be more adventurous with clothes and make up but left it all a bit too late now.
You're a timeless classic my dear "
Just like the Mona Lisa |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yep, I didn't like being skinny with wiry arms so I tried going to the gym and lifting weights.
Now even though I'm slightly bigger, I'm still finding flaws in my physique. I don't think I'll ever be completely happy  |
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"Yes a few times lately,such as shouldi have my hair cut very short again
"
Use the hair app to try out different styles it helps
Im going for lowlights on thursday which is a step towards grey acceptance for me |
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"Yep, I didn't like being skinny with wiry arms so I tried going to the gym and lifting weights.
Now even though I'm slightly bigger, I'm still finding flaws in my physique. I don't think I'll ever be completely happy "
Never say never |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes, not 100% happy with my weight or teeth but happy enough in where I am in life, is anyone 100% happy with themselves ??
Would acceptance lead to happiness for you?"
I'm not certain I'm sure what complete happiness is, which is quite sad. |
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"My mental illness has always been from looking in the mirror and hating everything about myself. But for a while now I’ve realised that I am who I am so I suppose I’ve just changed my mindset and thought more positively.
Oh and I bought a penis extender pump
Acceptance is wonderful, good luck with your pump "
It broke,ah well! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought I really don't like who I am right now...
Then done something about it?
"
Yes, I just replaced my floppy wig, with a starched one. |
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"Yes, not 100% happy with my weight or teeth but happy enough in where I am in life, is anyone 100% happy with themselves ??
Would acceptance lead to happiness for you?
I'm not certain I'm sure what complete happiness is, which is quite sad."
Maybe one day you might find out |
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"My mental illness has always been from looking in the mirror and hating everything about myself. But for a while now I’ve realised that I am who I am so I suppose I’ve just changed my mindset and thought more positively.
Oh and I bought a penis extender pump
Acceptance is wonderful, good luck with your pump
It broke,ah well! "
Oops |
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"Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought I really don't like who I am right now...
Then done something about it?
"
Not so much a look in the mirror, more a wake up call when I was told I had T2 diabetes. !2 years later it's in remission, I've lost 9 stones and I'm healthier now than I was in my 30's
Diabetes set me free. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think you change but accept who you are and what you are like.
When I was younger I used try to 'fit in' but nowadays I accept my 'personality' and what I am like. Much more content now. |
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To be honest, no. At least not deeply. I've often been low (once rock bottom) about situations and whats going on around me. Wanted to change these things but never in my life have I felt deeply disappointed or upset with who I am. Sure sometimes there's things I like to improve, my fitness for example. But not in a way where I'm deeply affected.
Mr |
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"Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought I really don't like who I am right now...
Then done something about it?
Not so much a look in the mirror, more a wake up call when I was told I had T2 diabetes. !2 years later it's in remission, I've lost 9 stones and I'm healthier now than I was in my 30's
Diabetes set me free."
Wow well done |
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"I do a lot, then I start out with good intentions but life still gets in the way. Despite being a determined person for some reason I always seem to find my myself thinking the same thing. "
Thats hard  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've never thought I don't like myself. But I do often reflect on how I could be a better person or cope with life's challenges in a different way. It's about self improvement, rather than assuming a deficit model.
We're all good enough right now, but that doesn't mean we can't be even better! |
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"I don't think you change but accept who you are and what you are like.
When I was younger I used try to 'fit in' but nowadays I accept my 'personality' and what I am like. Much more content now."
An interesting take on it and acceptance is fulfilling |
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"I do a lot, then I start out with good intentions but life still gets in the way. Despite being a determined person for some reason I always seem to find my myself thinking the same thing.
Thats hard "
I know, but what you gonna do, tomorrow is another day  |
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Yeah, I looked at the woman hobbling round on crutches, got myself some sexy wheels instead and discovered the opportunities out there for exercise and adventure by wheelchair. My chair has revolutionised my life (well, the disabled era of it). I'd become a virtual recluse before it. |
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"To be honest, no. At least not deeply. I've often been low (once rock bottom) about situations and whats going on around me. Wanted to change these things but never in my life have I felt deeply disappointed or upset with who I am. Sure sometimes there's things I like to improve, my fitness for example. But not in a way where I'm deeply affected.
Mr"
|
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"I've never thought I don't like myself. But I do often reflect on how I could be a better person or cope with life's challenges in a different way. It's about self improvement, rather than assuming a deficit model.
We're all good enough right now, but that doesn't mean we can't be even better!"
|
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"I do a lot, then I start out with good intentions but life still gets in the way. Despite being a determined person for some reason I always seem to find my myself thinking the same thing.
Thats hard
I know, but what you gonna do, tomorrow is another day "
I hope one tomorrow you will notice a difference |
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"Yeah, I looked at the woman hobbling round on crutches, got myself some sexy wheels instead and discovered the opportunities out there for exercise and adventure by wheelchair. My chair has revolutionised my life (well, the disabled era of it). I'd become a virtual recluse before it. "
Im glad you found a way forward |
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"Yeah, I looked at the woman hobbling round on crutches, got myself some sexy wheels instead and discovered the opportunities out there for exercise and adventure by wheelchair. My chair has revolutionised my life (well, the disabled era of it). I'd become a virtual recluse before it.
Im glad you found a way forward "
Surprised you didn't fall into the stereotype of "you found a wheely good way forward" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes...had a serious reboot after a complete mental meltdown a couple of years ago..found the real me..loved the real me then this turned up and ended it...I lived the life of a dancer but now Im reverting to being solitary. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think if you regularly and honestly look at yourself and if you know your un-conscious bias (good or bad) it is possible to consciously work on counteracting your natural tendancy
.. Your comfort zone! |
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No,
I don’t mean that in an ‘ I’m so far up my own backside’ sort of way, I’m just comfortable and contented with who I am and where I sit in the world.
I count myself lucky on that respect, many people struggle with this in life. |
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"No,
I don’t mean that in an ‘ I’m so far up my own backside’ sort of way, I’m just comfortable and contented with who I am and where I sit in the world.
I count myself lucky on that respect, many people struggle with this in life. "
It's a good place to be. I think I'm increasingly happy with who I am, but... I'm tweaking. (Still doing some big stuff, I'm mid massive overhaul, but most changes after that will be incremental) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought I really don't like who I am right now...
Then done something about it?
"
Absolutely. Everytime I acknowledge something I recognise as not being the person I want to be. If we see something we don’t like we can change it, challenge it. It’s growth. Not necessarily becoming a better person but maybe more rounded, or different.
Changing however is not all that easy! |
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"Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought I really don't like who I am right now...
Then done something about it?
Absolutely. Everytime I acknowledge something I recognise as not being the person I want to be. If we see something we don’t like we can change it, challenge it. It’s growth. Not necessarily becoming a better person but maybe more rounded, or different.
Changing however is not all that easy! "
Always growth. If I ever find myself completely satisfied with who I am and how I am in the world, shoot me, I'm good for nothing anymore. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought I really don't like who I am right now...
Then done something about it?
Absolutely. Everytime I acknowledge something I recognise as not being the person I want to be. If we see something we don’t like we can change it, challenge it. It’s growth. Not necessarily becoming a better person but maybe more rounded, or different.
Changing however is not all that easy!
Always growth. If I ever find myself completely satisfied with who I am and how I am in the world, shoot me, I'm good for nothing anymore."
okie dokie will do..just somewhere out the way!!
Seriously I agree. There’s always something new a different perspective. It’s the most amazing thing about meeting new people and sharing experiences. |
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"Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought I really don't like who I am right now...
Then done something about it?
Absolutely. Everytime I acknowledge something I recognise as not being the person I want to be. If we see something we don’t like we can change it, challenge it. It’s growth. Not necessarily becoming a better person but maybe more rounded, or different.
Changing however is not all that easy!
Always growth. If I ever find myself completely satisfied with who I am and how I am in the world, shoot me, I'm good for nothing anymore.
okie dokie will do..just somewhere out the way!!
Seriously I agree. There’s always something new a different perspective. It’s the most amazing thing about meeting new people and sharing experiences."
I should probably use less expressions that came down from my very rural grandparents God the mess. Good for a feral pig, less good for me. (yeah I just gave myself a new Fab nickname, I'm good with that) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought I really don't like who I am right now...
Then done something about it?
"
It will have been a haircut or shave |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought I really don't like who I am right now...
Then done something about it?
Absolutely. Everytime I acknowledge something I recognise as not being the person I want to be. If we see something we don’t like we can change it, challenge it. It’s growth. Not necessarily becoming a better person but maybe more rounded, or different.
Changing however is not all that easy!
Always growth. If I ever find myself completely satisfied with who I am and how I am in the world, shoot me, I'm good for nothing anymore.
okie dokie will do..just somewhere out the way!!
Seriously I agree. There’s always something new a different perspective. It’s the most amazing thing about meeting new people and sharing experiences.
I should probably use less expressions that came down from my very rural grandparents God the mess. Good for a feral pig, less good for me. (yeah I just gave myself a new Fab nickname, I'm good with that)"
I get it! Same here sometimes gets lost in translation or people seem to think I’m odd   |
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"Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought I really don't like who I am right now...
Then done something about it?
Absolutely. Everytime I acknowledge something I recognise as not being the person I want to be. If we see something we don’t like we can change it, challenge it. It’s growth. Not necessarily becoming a better person but maybe more rounded, or different.
Changing however is not all that easy!
Always growth. If I ever find myself completely satisfied with who I am and how I am in the world, shoot me, I'm good for nothing anymore.
okie dokie will do..just somewhere out the way!!
Seriously I agree. There’s always something new a different perspective. It’s the most amazing thing about meeting new people and sharing experiences.
I should probably use less expressions that came down from my very rural grandparents God the mess. Good for a feral pig, less good for me. (yeah I just gave myself a new Fab nickname, I'm good with that)
I get it! Same here sometimes gets lost in translation or people seem to think I’m odd "
I'm odd |
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There are times I like my reflection and times I don't.
Times I'm proud of who of my strength, and other times I'm annoyed at my weakness.
Times I look in the mirror and think "you deserve so much more than this" and other times I look and think "others don't deserve YOU"
Ultimately I ain't stupid, and I know the bits of me that cause the most issues (my capacity to love, hate and feel so very deeply with my big black heart. The life I've lived so far that's shown me beauty and horror - real horror) are the same bits I can't change, that also give me compassion yet lead me to a place where I'm more than likely better off alone.
A blessing and a curse all at the same time.
So now.... I accept.
Physically I'm changing all the while, and always will |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes. I don’t do it all the time albeit I continually seek to improve what I can improve about things I do. However there have been a number of times during my life when I have looked in the proverbial mirror and realised their was a significant inconsistency between who I actually was and who I wanted to be. The inner conflict created was sufficient for me to do something fundamental about it. My hypocrisy is a continual fuel for jousting between my intentions, my beliefs, thoughts and feelings and the effects of my actions. So yes I change and have on a couple of occasions done so in quite dramatic ways. |
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"There are times I like my reflection and times I don't.
Times I'm proud of who of my strength, and other times I'm annoyed at my weakness.
Times I look in the mirror and think "you deserve so much more than this" and other times I look and think "others don't deserve YOU"
Ultimately I ain't stupid, and I know the bits of me that cause the most issues (my capacity to love, hate and feel so very deeply with my big black heart. The life I've lived so far that's shown me beauty and horror - real horror) are the same bits I can't change, that also give me compassion yet lead me to a place where I'm more than likely better off alone.
A blessing and a curse all at the same time.
So now.... I accept.
Physically I'm changing all the while, and always will "
Fight the good fight and never stop being you. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Don't think I've ever done that as such OP - I have tended to evolve and change naturally over time - and just go with the flow and where it takes me.
Which has been both a blessing and a downfall at times.
There may have been odd occasions I've found myself needing to change something specific like a job or circumstances etc and I've taken the practical steps required to do something about them.
Personality and character though not overly, I can mostly hold my head high and be happy with the person I am and the values I hold - some things I look back on and wish I'd handled differently or not done at all, but the life lessons learned from those shaped me into the person I am now in a more natural and gradual way without being something I have needed to consciously sit down and change. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah you can .........
I looked at a picture given to me at Christmas of me and my son doing the mighty hike last year, my first reaction was god who’s that lump!!! It was me.........
So ....... a bike and some determination I’m back into 32” jeans and 3 stone lighter!!!! |
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