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I Don't Mean to Alarm Anyone
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So you people know me (or not, hi I'm LVM, I'm a pervert), I'm a generally cautious guy. Y'know, I take care to try and vet potential meets, a look both ways when I'm crossing a road even if it's one way.
So anyway, I fucked up... I was having a shower earlier and I accidentally touched my own butthole. I'm really worried I've caught The Ghey™  Anyone know what I should do?  |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"So you people know me (or not, hi I'm LVM, I'm a pervert), I'm a generally cautious guy. Y'know, I take care to try and vet potential meets, a look both ways when I'm crossing a road even if it's one way.
So anyway, I fucked up... I was having a shower earlier and I accidentally touched my own butthole. I'm really worried I've caught The Ghey™ Anyone know what I should do? "
Stick a dildo in it  |
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Ok bud I'm not gonna sugar coat it, this is going to be painful BUT it can be dealth with. Now do you have a scalpel or very sharp knife to hand, maybe something to bite diwn on and DEFINITELY a mirror. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So you people know me (or not, hi I'm LVM, I'm a pervert), I'm a generally cautious guy. Y'know, I take care to try and vet potential meets, a look both ways when I'm crossing a road even if it's one way.
So anyway, I fucked up... I was having a shower earlier and I accidentally touched my own butthole. I'm really worried I've caught The Ghey™ Anyone know what I should do?
Stick a dildo in it "
Will that help? Is it less Ghey if a woman does it? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ok bud I'm not gonna sugar coat it, this is going to be painful BUT it can be dealth with. Now do you have a scalpel or very sharp knife to hand, maybe something to bite diwn on and DEFINITELY a mirror."
I've got safety scissors, a dildo, and my phone camera. Will those do? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So you people know me (or not, hi I'm LVM, I'm a pervert), I'm a generally cautious guy. Y'know, I take care to try and vet potential meets, a look both ways when I'm crossing a road even if it's one way.
So anyway, I fucked up... I was having a shower earlier and I accidentally touched my own butthole. I'm really worried I've caught The Ghey™ Anyone know what I should do?
Stick a dildo in it "
Posh beat me to it.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So you people know me (or not, hi I'm LVM, I'm a pervert), I'm a generally cautious guy. Y'know, I take care to try and vet potential meets, a look both ways when I'm crossing a road even if it's one way.
So anyway, I fucked up... I was having a shower earlier and I accidentally touched my own butthole. I'm really worried I've caught The Ghey™ Anyone know what I should do?
Stick a dildo in it
Posh beat me to it. "
You women seem to have a weird obsession with my butt recently... I blame K and her strap on  |
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"So you people know me (or not, hi I'm LVM, I'm a pervert), I'm a generally cautious guy. Y'know, I take care to try and vet potential meets, a look both ways when I'm crossing a road even if it's one way.
So anyway, I fucked up... I was having a shower earlier and I accidentally touched my own butthole. I'm really worried I've caught The Ghey™ Anyone know what I should do?
Stick a dildo in it
Posh beat me to it.
You women seem to have a weird obsession with my butt recently... I blame K and her strap on "
Maybe if you didn't go flaunting it around all over the place |
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"So you people know me (or not, hi I'm LVM, I'm a pervert), I'm a generally cautious guy. Y'know, I take care to try and vet potential meets, a look both ways when I'm crossing a road even if it's one way.
So anyway, I fucked up... I was having a shower earlier and I accidentally touched my own butthole. I'm really worried I've caught The Ghey™ Anyone know what I should do? "
You should always Film you showering yourself!  You know for evidence sake.
Now we'll just have to take your word for it!
At least fab straight!
Jo.Xx |
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"You might as well go the whole hog now and have an all male gang bang.
Do you know any guys who'll be gentle with my virgin butthole? "
You need to put up a meet request ASAP once it's allowed again. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So you people know me (or not, hi I'm LVM, I'm a pervert), I'm a generally cautious guy. Y'know, I take care to try and vet potential meets, a look both ways when I'm crossing a road even if it's one way.
So anyway, I fucked up... I was having a shower earlier and I accidentally touched my own butthole. I'm really worried I've caught The Ghey™ Anyone know what I should do?
Stick a dildo in it
Posh beat me to it.
You women seem to have a weird obsession with my butt recently... I blame K and her strap on
Maybe if you didn't go flaunting it around all over the place "
I learned it from watching you!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So you people know me (or not, hi I'm LVM, I'm a pervert), I'm a generally cautious guy. Y'know, I take care to try and vet potential meets, a look both ways when I'm crossing a road even if it's one way.
So anyway, I fucked up... I was having a shower earlier and I accidentally touched my own butthole. I'm really worried I've caught The Ghey™ Anyone know what I should do?
You should always Film you showering yourself! You know for evidence sake.
Now we'll just have to take your word for it!
At least fab straight!
Jo.Xx "
Noted Jo, I'll get a webcam installed for future showers. I've created a domain so people can check up on me: LVMButtWatch. C o m |
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"So you people know me (or not, hi I'm LVM, I'm a pervert), I'm a generally cautious guy. Y'know, I take care to try and vet potential meets, a look both ways when I'm crossing a road even if it's one way.
So anyway, I fucked up... I was having a shower earlier and I accidentally touched my own butthole. I'm really worried I've caught The Ghey™ Anyone know what I should do?
Stick a dildo in it
Posh beat me to it.
You women seem to have a weird obsession with my butt recently... I blame K and her strap on
Maybe if you didn't go flaunting it around all over the place
I learned it from watching you! "
Yes but *I* Lorenzo, want people to put their whatsits in my pooper shooter. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"You might as well go the whole hog now and have an all male gang bang.
Do you know any guys who'll be gentle with my virgin butthole?
You need to put up a meet request ASAP once it's allowed again. "
Oh I can hardly wait, will you hold my hand? |
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"You might as well go the whole hog now and have an all male gang bang.
Do you know any guys who'll be gentle with my virgin butthole?
You need to put up a meet request ASAP once it's allowed again.
Oh I can hardly wait, will you hold my hand?"
Of course  |
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LVM, please don’t worry, fingerblasting your ring piece and claiming it was an accident doesn’t make you gay. Neither is being ploughed by a stunner with a pink glow in the dark strap on dildo. Hell, you can even get another guy to do you up the bum and still be straight. You’re only gay if you push back  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So you people know me (or not, hi I'm LVM, I'm a pervert), I'm a generally cautious guy. Y'know, I take care to try and vet potential meets, a look both ways when I'm crossing a road even if it's one way.
So anyway, I fucked up... I was having a shower earlier and I accidentally touched my own butthole. I'm really worried I've caught The Ghey™ Anyone know what I should do?
Stick a dildo in it
Posh beat me to it.
You women seem to have a weird obsession with my butt recently... I blame K and her strap on
Maybe if you didn't go flaunting it around all over the place
I learned it from watching you!
Yes but *I* Lorenzo, want people to put their whatsits in my pooper shooter. "
Can I practice on yours for now? Don't worry, it won't be a sexual thing, purely friendly, y'know... Cos I'm Ghey now |
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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago
The Land that time forgot (Norfolk) |
"So you people know me (or not, hi I'm LVM, I'm a pervert), I'm a generally cautious guy. Y'know, I take care to try and vet potential meets, a look both ways when I'm crossing a road even if it's one way.
So anyway, I fucked up... I was having a shower earlier and I accidentally touched my own butthole. I'm really worried I've caught The Ghey™ Anyone know what I should do? "
Get the missus to do it for you then it's ok. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"LVM, please don’t worry, fingerblasting your ring piece and claiming it was an accident doesn’t make you gay. Neither is being ploughed by a stunner with a pink glow in the dark strap on dildo. Hell, you can even get another guy to do you up the bum and still be straight. You’re only gay if you push back "
Thanks for the tips curious. So if I ask them both to strap me to a table so I can't push back that's totally fine right? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"2020 really is a kicker, first a global pandemic, then loo roll panic buying and now LVM has caught the Ghey.
Hope is lost people. The end is nigh. "
Don't worry, at least I'll see you all in Hell for the orgy, that's where all the fun people are going right? Meet you on the second Circle  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hi Op, you’re obviously caught the ‘gay’ before you know it, you’ll be wearing knickers and hanging out in gay bars looking for sailors. Accept the fact and get there as they shut at 10pm "
Oooh sounds fabulous when you put it like that. I do love a big load of seamen |
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"Ok bud I'm not gonna sugar coat it, this is going to be painful BUT it can be dealth with. Now do you have a scalpel or very sharp knife to hand, maybe something to bite diwn on and DEFINITELY a mirror.
I've got safety scissors, a dildo, and my phone camera. Will those do?"
We can go MacGyver on this |
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|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’m less concerned about your sexuality and more about your personal hygiene....
Are you seriously saying you’ve never washed your rusty ring before? "
Well... no. Everyone know that the ladies love a marinated back door |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So you people know me (or not, hi I'm LVM, I'm a pervert), I'm a generally cautious guy. Y'know, I take care to try and vet potential meets, a look both ways when I'm crossing a road even if it's one way.
So anyway, I fucked up... I was having a shower earlier and I accidentally touched my own butthole. I'm really worried I've caught The Ghey™ Anyone know what I should do?
Get the missus to do it for you then it's ok."
Can I borrow yours to help show mine the ropes?  |
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"LVM, please don’t worry, fingerblasting your ring piece and claiming it was an accident doesn’t make you gay. Neither is being ploughed by a stunner with a pink glow in the dark strap on dildo. Hell, you can even get another guy to do you up the bum and still be straight. You’re only gay if you push back
Thanks for the tips curious. So if I ask them both to strap me to a table so I can't push back that's totally fine right?"
Absolutely tied down and one at each end is still straight Try to avoid listening to Celine Dion as well, this has been known increase the likelihood of pushing back syndrome (PBS). |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ok bud I'm not gonna sugar coat it, this is going to be painful BUT it can be dealth with. Now do you have a scalpel or very sharp knife to hand, maybe something to bite diwn on and DEFINITELY a mirror.
I've got safety scissors, a dildo, and my phone camera. Will those do?
We can go MacGyver on this"
Honestly, I'm interested to see where this goes now  |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So you people know me (or not, hi I'm LVM, I'm a pervert), I'm a generally cautious guy. Y'know, I take care to try and vet potential meets, a look both ways when I'm crossing a road even if it's one way.
So anyway, I fucked up... I was having a shower earlier and I accidentally touched my own butthole. I'm really worried I've caught The Ghey™ Anyone know what I should do?
Get the missus to do it for you then it's ok."
Soon  |
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|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"LVM, please don’t worry, fingerblasting your ring piece and claiming it was an accident doesn’t make you gay. Neither is being ploughed by a stunner with a pink glow in the dark strap on dildo. Hell, you can even get another guy to do you up the bum and still be straight. You’re only gay if you push back
Thanks for the tips curious. So if I ask them both to strap me to a table so I can't push back that's totally fine right?
Absolutely tied down and one at each end is still straight Try to avoid listening to Celine Dion as well, this has been known increase the likelihood of pushing back syndrome (PBS). "
Okay, I'll stick with the Village People. That seems like a safe bet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m less concerned about your sexuality and more about your personal hygiene....
Are you seriously saying you’ve never washed your rusty ring before?
Well... no. Everyone know that the ladies love a marinated back door "
 I now have star trekin playing in my head. Clingons on the starboard bow |
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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago
The Land that time forgot (Norfolk) |
"So you people know me (or not, hi I'm LVM, I'm a pervert), I'm a generally cautious guy. Y'know, I take care to try and vet potential meets, a look both ways when I'm crossing a road even if it's one way.
So anyway, I fucked up... I was having a shower earlier and I accidentally touched my own butthole. I'm really worried I've caught The Ghey™ Anyone know what I should do?
Get the missus to do it for you then it's ok.
Soon "
You need to Peg him, Miss.Red is a pro if you want some tips. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So you people know me (or not, hi I'm LVM, I'm a pervert), I'm a generally cautious guy. Y'know, I take care to try and vet potential meets, a look both ways when I'm crossing a road even if it's one way.
So anyway, I fucked up... I was having a shower earlier and I accidentally touched my own butthole. I'm really worried I've caught The Ghey™ Anyone know what I should do?
Get the missus to do it for you then it's ok.
Soon "
 |
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"So you people know me (or not, hi I'm LVM, I'm a pervert), I'm a generally cautious guy. Y'know, I take care to try and vet potential meets, a look both ways when I'm crossing a road even if it's one way.
So anyway, I fucked up... I was having a shower earlier and I accidentally touched my own butthole. I'm really worried I've caught The Ghey™ Anyone know what I should do?
You should always Film you showering yourself! You know for evidence sake.
Now we'll just have to take your word for it!
At least fab straight!
Jo.Xx
Noted Jo, I'll get a webcam installed for future showers. I've created a domain so people can check up on me: LVMButtWatch. C o m"
I swear I saw LBC then! 
Jo.Xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"You need to press the male reset button. This unfortunately is 3 inches up yer bum. Only you can reset yerself "
What if I haven't backed up my wank bank though? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So you people know me (or not, hi I'm LVM, I'm a pervert), I'm a generally cautious guy. Y'know, I take care to try and vet potential meets, a look both ways when I'm crossing a road even if it's one way.
So anyway, I fucked up... I was having a shower earlier and I accidentally touched my own butthole. I'm really worried I've caught The Ghey™ Anyone know what I should do?
You should always Film you showering yourself! You know for evidence sake.
Now we'll just have to take your word for it!
At least fab straight!
Jo.Xx
Noted Jo, I'll get a webcam installed for future showers. I've created a domain so people can check up on me: LVMButtWatch. C o m
I swear I saw LBC then!
Jo.Xx "
Oh no, that's a private website... I can give you the login for that one too if you like |
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"Ok bud I'm not gonna sugar coat it, this is going to be painful BUT it can be dealth with. Now do you have a scalpel or very sharp knife to hand, maybe something to bite diwn on and DEFINITELY a mirror.
I've got safety scissors, a dildo, and my phone camera. Will those do?
We can go MacGyver on this
Honestly, I'm interested to see where this goes now "
First things first how steady are your hands after a strong drink? Can you still accurately flick a bean? |
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"LVM, please don’t worry, fingerblasting your ring piece and claiming it was an accident doesn’t make you gay. Neither is being ploughed by a stunner with a pink glow in the dark strap on dildo. Hell, you can even get another guy to do you up the bum and still be straight. You’re only gay if you push back "
|
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"So you people know me (or not, hi I'm LVM, I'm a pervert), I'm a generally cautious guy. Y'know, I take care to try and vet potential meets, a look both ways when I'm crossing a road even if it's one way.
So anyway, I fucked up... I was having a shower earlier and I accidentally touched my own butthole. I'm really worried I've caught The Ghey™ Anyone know what I should do?
Stick a dildo in it
Posh beat me to it.
You women seem to have a weird obsession with my butt recently... I blame K and her strap on
Maybe if you didn't go flaunting it around all over the place
I learned it from watching you!
Yes but *I* Lorenzo, want people to put their whatsits in my pooper shooter.
Can I practice on yours for now? Don't worry, it won't be a sexual thing, purely friendly, y'know... Cos I'm Ghey now"
I'm down for platonic anal blasting |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ok bud I'm not gonna sugar coat it, this is going to be painful BUT it can be dealth with. Now do you have a scalpel or very sharp knife to hand, maybe something to bite diwn on and DEFINITELY a mirror.
I've got safety scissors, a dildo, and my phone camera. Will those do?
We can go MacGyver on this
Honestly, I'm interested to see where this goes now
First things first how steady are your hands after a strong drink? Can you still accurately flick a bean?"
It might take me a couple of tries but I'm sure I'll hit the mark eventuality  |
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"So you people know me (or not, hi I'm LVM, I'm a pervert), I'm a generally cautious guy. Y'know, I take care to try and vet potential meets, a look both ways when I'm crossing a road even if it's one way.
So anyway, I fucked up... I was having a shower earlier and I accidentally touched my own butthole. I'm really worried I've caught The Ghey™ Anyone know what I should do? "
Isolate for 14 days, wear a butt mask when showering and don't look at all the penis selfies I just PM'd you.
Stay strong, brother. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So you people know me (or not, hi I'm LVM, I'm a pervert), I'm a generally cautious guy. Y'know, I take care to try and vet potential meets, a look both ways when I'm crossing a road even if it's one way.
So anyway, I fucked up... I was having a shower earlier and I accidentally touched my own butthole. I'm really worried I've caught The Ghey™ Anyone know what I should do?
Isolate for 14 days, wear a butt mask when showering and don't look at all the penis selfies I just PM'd you.
Stay strong, brother. "
Could you show me how to properly wear the butt mask please? It's too late of for the selfies |
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"So you people know me (or not, hi I'm LVM, I'm a pervert), I'm a generally cautious guy. Y'know, I take care to try and vet potential meets, a look both ways when I'm crossing a road even if it's one way.
So anyway, I fucked up... I was having a shower earlier and I accidentally touched my own butthole. I'm really worried I've caught The Ghey™ Anyone know what I should do?
You should always Film you showering yourself! You know for evidence sake.
Now we'll just have to take your word for it!
At least fab straight!
Jo.Xx
Noted Jo, I'll get a webcam installed for future showers. I've created a domain so people can check up on me: LVMButtWatch. C o m
I swear I saw LBC then!
Jo.Xx
Oh no, that's a private website... I can give you the login for that one too if you like "
Oh yes please!!
Jo.Xx |
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"Ok bud I'm not gonna sugar coat it, this is going to be painful BUT it can be dealth with. Now do you have a scalpel or very sharp knife to hand, maybe something to bite diwn on and DEFINITELY a mirror.
I've got safety scissors, a dildo, and my phone camera. Will those do?
We can go MacGyver on this
Honestly, I'm interested to see where this goes now
First things first how steady are your hands after a strong drink? Can you still accurately flick a bean?
It might take me a couple of tries but I'm sure I'll hit the mark eventuality "
In that case take a stiff drink, pop that dildo in your mouth, i suggest tip first. Now you may experience a surge in ghey but don't worry this is perfectly normal.
Get your phone camera on and get an angle on the offending anal entry. |
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"So you people know me (or not, hi I'm LVM, I'm a pervert), I'm a generally cautious guy. Y'know, I take care to try and vet potential meets, a look both ways when I'm crossing a road even if it's one way.
So anyway, I fucked up... I was having a shower earlier and I accidentally touched my own butthole. I'm really worried I've caught The Ghey™ Anyone know what I should do?
Isolate for 14 days, wear a butt mask when showering and don't look at all the penis selfies I just PM'd you.
Stay strong, brother.
Could you show me how to properly wear the butt mask please? It's too late of for the selfies "
I'll Google it. I don't know myself, it's ButtCity when I'm in there |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ok bud I'm not gonna sugar coat it, this is going to be painful BUT it can be dealth with. Now do you have a scalpel or very sharp knife to hand, maybe something to bite diwn on and DEFINITELY a mirror.
I've got safety scissors, a dildo, and my phone camera. Will those do?
We can go MacGyver on this
Honestly, I'm interested to see where this goes now
First things first how steady are your hands after a strong drink? Can you still accurately flick a bean?
It might take me a couple of tries but I'm sure I'll hit the mark eventuality
In that case take a stiff drink, pop that dildo in your mouth, i suggest tip first. Now you may experience a surge in ghey but don't worry this is perfectly normal.
Get your phone camera on and get an angle on the offending anal entry."
Mmmphk ah fiiink a ken phee ih... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So you people know me (or not, hi I'm LVM, I'm a pervert), I'm a generally cautious guy. Y'know, I take care to try and vet potential meets, a look both ways when I'm crossing a road even if it's one way.
So anyway, I fucked up... I was having a shower earlier and I accidentally touched my own butthole. I'm really worried I've caught The Ghey™ Anyone know what I should do? Accident my arse  "
Sorry, I got distracted by your arse... what were you saying? |
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"So you people know me (or not, hi I'm LVM, I'm a pervert), I'm a generally cautious guy. Y'know, I take care to try and vet potential meets, a look both ways when I'm crossing a road even if it's one way.
So anyway, I fucked up... I was having a shower earlier and I accidentally touched my own butthole. I'm really worried I've caught The Ghey™ Anyone know what I should do?
Isolate for 14 days, wear a butt mask when showering and don't look at all the penis selfies I just PM'd you.
Stay strong, brother. "
Can I request a copy of those penis selfies? |
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