FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Dear God,
Dear God,
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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In response to your email that replied to my earlier email request to turn the friggin rain off I'd like to iterate that I KNOW plants need water to thrive and that I realise you don't have direct hands on control of clouds, but I think if you intend having another 40-day/40-night Wet Wet Wet Party you may want to tell someone to build another fookin Ark.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dear Wishy...
I have refrained from ordering another arc after the last fiasco when Mrs Noah had all the shit cleared overboard only for Columbus to run into it a few years later...;-);-)
Best, as ever,
God. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dear Wishy...
I have refrained from ordering another arc after the last fiasco when Mrs Noah had all the shit cleared overboard only for Columbus to run into it a few years later...;-);-)
Best, as ever,
God."
Dear God,
In that case can you make it so it only rains on France. They're miserable buggers anyway and giving them something else to moan about won't make much of a difference. As for us, a couple of days every other month would suffice as we can always rely on the Jocks to piss on our parade if we need extra water. Ta. 
p.s. God, please accept my apologies if you are of French or Scottish origin, we all have our crosses to bear as you would know better than anyone.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dear Mr wishy,
As you are god maybe you should sort your own problems out. As your understudy im too busy sorting the banking problem out for you"
Thought that task had been offloaded to Lucifer, hence why they're still fookin about!  |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
Dear Mr Wishy
cc God
bcc Allah, Shriva, Buddha, David Tennant (other belief systems are available)
Regarding your earlier requests re:rain, could you confirm if the Eastern side of the country now has less rain as Arse End seems to have even more than usual for Cumbria and is in danger of being cut off again if the the pictures on a well known social networking site are anything to go by.....also, much as I love listening to the Gods playing football, that last thunder clap just above my house made my fecking teeth rattle as well as the roof tiles so if you could tone it down a bit I'd appreciate it....
Yours, supposed to be out on a meet tonight if the bridge isn't out....Caz |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dear Mr wishy,
As you are god maybe you should sort your own problems out. As your understudy im too busy sorting the banking problem out for you
Thought that task had been offloaded to Lucifer, hence why they're still fookin about! "
On behalf of our client, Mr B L Zebub, we ask that it be taken in mitigation that the aforementioned is increasingly occupied in resolving the pecadillii of various members of the ordained priesthood.
Burns, Boyle and Rider.
Solicitors to the Apocalypse |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"Dear Mr wishy,
As you are god maybe you should sort your own problems out. As your understudy im too busy sorting the banking problem out for you
Thought that task had been offloaded to Lucifer, hence why they're still fookin about!
On behalf of our client, Mr B L Zebub, we ask that it be taken in mitigation that the aforementioned is increasingly occupied in resolving the pecadillii of various members of the ordained priesthood.
Burns, Boyle and Rider.
Solicitors to the Apocalypse"
What on earth have chopped pickled vegetables in mustard sauce to do with anything??????
Confused of Arse End |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dear Mr wishy,
As you are god maybe you should sort your own problems out. As your understudy im too busy sorting the banking problem out for you
Thought that task had been offloaded to Lucifer, hence why they're still fookin about!
On behalf of our client, Mr B L Zebub, we ask that it be taken in mitigation that the aforementioned is increasingly occupied in resolving the pecadillii of various members of the ordained priesthood.
Burns, Boyle and Rider.
Solicitors to the Apocalypse
What on earth have chopped pickled vegetables in mustard sauce to do with anything??????
Confused of Arse End "
If you got a confused Arse End... D'ya really wanna know where to stick ya pecadillii ...  |
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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago
from a town near you |
Dear All
i know im a Woman but even i cant be expected to sort everything out on my own,the cherubims are fighting with the seraphims
Lucifer has set fire to the lost souls again(hes on his last warning)
St Peter threatening strike action if he has to stand at the pearly gates for more than 6 hours without a break,and the celestial choir is waaay outa tune
Might i suggest you suck it up and grow
a pair of balls, i didnt give you them just so you would have something to play with
lots of love and kisses God(dess) |
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