FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Your not what I’m looking for
Your not what I’m looking for
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Why do people say your not what I’m looking for when if you read their profile it’s exactly what their are looking for ?
I take t people are that shallow and just about looks rather than what their actually looking for.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because it's a nicer way of saying 'I'm not attracted to you'   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do people say your not what I’m looking for when if you read their profile it’s exactly what their are looking for ?
I take t people are that shallow and just about looks rather than what their actually looking for.
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Because people are entitled to a preference. Plenty of people have matched my looking for on my profile but a conversation with them shows that actually, we are not compatible. Also, if someone isn't attracted to someone else, that's okay too. I don't see how it makes them shallow though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because it's a nicer way of saying 'I'm not attracted to you' "
This.
I have a bodytype i like.. but ultimately the face and hair is the most important bit for me. If that makes me shallow then i guess im shallow |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do people say your not what I’m looking for when if you read their profile it’s exactly what their are looking for ?
I take t people are that shallow and just about looks rather than what their actually looking for.
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How’s it shallow? If I don’t like someone’s face it’s not happening. If I don’t like their personality it’s not happening either. If I don’t like their physique it probably won’t be happening. If they can’t kiss it also won’t be happening. Am I shallow in your opinion? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because it's a nicer way of saying 'I'm not attracted to you'
This.
I have a bodytype i like.. but ultimately the face and hair is the most important bit for me. If that makes me shallow then i guess im shallow "
Did you change your name recently? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do people say your not what I’m looking for when if you read their profile it’s exactly what their are looking for ?
I take t people are that shallow and just about looks rather than what their actually looking for.
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People in general have a far better idea what they are looking for than you do lets be honest.
As for looks well nobody fucks a personality do they unless its a pity shag. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s not shallow to have a preference 
I generally use the line to let someone down nicely. Or I might use it if I’m not feeling it during conversation.
Just because a profile reads like you are everything someone is looking for, does not mean you are. |
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"Why do people say your not what I’m looking for when if you read their profile it’s exactly what their are looking for ?
I take t people are that shallow and just about looks rather than what their actually looking for.
Because people are entitled to a preference. Plenty of people have matched my looking for on my profile but a conversation with them shows that actually, we are not compatible. Also, if someone isn't attracted to someone else, that's okay too. I don't see how it makes them shallow though. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He he it’s a hornets nest "
So you're deliberately asking a controversial question, knowing full well people will defend their right to having preferences? What are you going to gain from that OP? Or do you just enjoy trolling? |
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"Why do people say your not what I’m looking for when if you read their profile it’s exactly what their are looking for ?
I take t people are that shallow and just about looks rather than what their actually looking for.
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I couldn't possibly have sex with someone I didn't fancy!
Yes, there have been slow burners where feelings have grown without the instant attraction.
But on a site like this, it's always going to be on face value.
If that makes me shallow, so he it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do people say your not what I’m looking for when if you read their profile it’s exactly what their are looking for ?
I take t people are that shallow and just about looks rather than what their actually looking for.
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I’m guessing it’s because you are not what they are looking for.
Best of luck op.
T |
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I ask to see what people general thoughts are not to provoke a war. |
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"Why do people say your not what I’m looking for when if you read their profile it’s exactly what their are looking for ?
I take t people are that shallow and just about looks rather than what their actually looking for.
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Do you struggle psychologically with the fact many women find you unattractive op ?
Perhaps you need to look inward for the causation of your frustration as opposed to insulting others ??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't be too hard on yourself OP, they probably just don't go for the sanctimonious types is all |
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Profiles aren't exhaustive. They're just an idea of what someone is looking for.
You can fit the profile text (or believe yourself to) and still not fit what they're looking for. |
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"Don't be too hard on yourself OP, they probably just don't go for the sanctimonious types is all "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t struggle at all "
You’re probably one of the only men who doesn’t then! Well done you. I struggle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I ask to see what people general thoughts are not to provoke a war."
So there was no need for the hornets nest comment then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I ask to see what people general thoughts are not to provoke a war."
No war provoked you presumed you know more about what people wand than they do people are entitled to an opinion on a thread. |
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"I don’t struggle at all "
" Why do people say your not what I’m looking for when if you read their profile it’s exactly what their are looking for ?
I take t people are that shallow and just about looks rather than what their actually looking for."
You ask a daft why question
That is indicative of "struggling" with a simple concept
I note you did not say you dont needlessly insult or label |
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I don’t presume anything.
Several people I know have said the self same thing so I just posted the thoughts and comments of a few that I know |
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By *rsPricklePantsWoman
over a year ago
Room 237 at The Overlook Hotel, Suffolk |
Just because you think you match doesn't mean they think you match, could be any number of things it doesn't mean that they are shallow it just means they know what they are looking for and for whatever reason you don't fit it for them, just accept it and move on |
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"I don’t presume anything.
Several people I know have said the self same thing so I just posted the thoughts and comments of a few that I know "
You are right there are indeed a number of whiny men who for a variety of reasons seem to repel many women then call the woman names
You should pop onto the sub culture thread and report in  |
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"I don’t presume anything.
Several people I know have said the self same thing so I just posted the thoughts and comments of a few that I know "
If you say "I'm perfect for someone" you're presuming. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You're not |
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"Why do people say your not what I’m looking for when if you read their profile it’s exactly what their are looking for ?
I take t people are that shallow and just about looks rather than what their actually looking for.
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I don't get how you can call someone 'shallow' for not being sexually attracted to someone  for us there has to be a physical attraction to have sex with someone and we are far from shallow. |
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Well there we go then I shall pass on all your comments and get them to read this lot to.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You're not"
Not the poster above, just helping with the OP text....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well yes, of course looks matter.
I could say ‘I like tall men who are funny’.
You could think ‘yeah I’m perfect for her’.
When in reality, I think you’re a bit short, you’re not funny, and I don’t find you attractive. "
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"Well yes, of course looks matter.
I could say ‘I like tall men who are funny’.
You could think ‘yeah I’m perfect for her’.
When in reality, I think you’re a bit short, you’re not funny, and I don’t find you attractive. "
Haha, exactly - maybe the OP's perception is off, not the profiles accuracy in describing what they're after! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do people say your not what I’m looking for when if you read their profile it’s exactly what their are looking for ?
I take t people are that shallow and just about looks rather than what their actually looking for.
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Would you date an ugly woman if she had everything you wanted but she wasn’t your type at all? |
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I agree, what you’re looking for on your profile doesn’t necessarily equate to instant attraction! sometimes, despite compatibility you just aren’t attracted to someone, it’s not about being shallow x I recognize that I’m not everyone’s cup of tea! We can’t be all things to all people! X |
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As I said I will pass comments on to those who asked.
I’m totally ok with who I am and can accept the we arnt all things to everyone.
Just wondered what others would say after an ask by others .
Now I know
Nothing mean personally. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well talk about ganging up on someone, !!!!
Op your entitled to your question and your opinion, this is the type of thread I would love to see a moderator step in and deal with some of the comments, like calling the OP a troll etc. Bang out of order in my opinion. If a female posted the same question as the Op and got some of the comments this guy has receivedincluding the grammar police comment, the naughty step would be a busy old place.
To answer you OP , yes it could be perceived as shallow if people went on looks alone but hey such is life. We are all entitled to use Fab and our selection process in any way we want. And looks are an important factor on here. |
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Looks matter. No way am i going to get naked with someone I'm not attracted to. And don't care if people think that makes me shallow.
I decide who i want to have sex with and no one else - despite some who feel they're entitled to a shag because they fit height criteria or whatever x |
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Thanks
I got big shoulders I can handle it .. just goes to show what people are really like doesn’t it.
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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago
Doire Theas |
You may have a body type preference on your profile but for me it always comes down to personality you may be sexy to look at but if you are ugly on the inside I’m out |
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I have met people previously for socials that have ticked all my boxes on paper but there was just no spark there when we met in person. |
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I accept that in life and on FAB some people will like me and some people won't.
That's life.
I don't waste time or energy worrying about the ones that don't.
I concentrate on the ones that do.
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
Because its the truth |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How do I know who's my match?! ?? |
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It’s nobody’s fault if they don’t find me attractive. Wish them good luck in their quest and move on . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just because you think you're what they're looking for, that doesn't mean you are. You may well meet basic criteria for age and interests but that doesn't mean the attraction is there. Often it's a case if what you're really NOT looking for and sometimes you don't know what that is until presented with it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Profiles aren't exhaustive. They're just an idea of what someone is looking for.
You can fit the profile text (or believe yourself to) and still not fit what they're looking for."
Profiles are often short and don’t show everything.
I personally would never be interested in someone who couldn’t write an interesting, intelligent message - but I don’t write that on my profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do I know who's my match?! ?? "
They swipe right. |
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By *vilgasamWoman
over a year ago
The dot in the i |
Because we have freedom to choose and change our minds at will, if the spark isn’t there, it isn’t there, it’s pretty simple |
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Some good answers and some insults to and some just rude.
Get the drift though it really is down to just plain looks on the whole.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Profiles aren't exhaustive. They're just an idea of what someone is looking for.
You can fit the profile text (or believe yourself to) and still not fit what they're looking for.
Profiles are often short and don’t show everything.
I personally would never be interested in someone who couldn’t write an interesting, intelligent message - but I don’t write that on my profile."
You could say that's shallow to , dismissing a potential meet as they are not good at spelling or message writing, but that's a thing for you so people just need to lump it. We all have our preferences. Like you say you don't put that on your profile.
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
Somebody might think after reading my profile that I am exactly what they are looking for, I will also check out their profile and pictures, that content is enough for me to know sometimes that they are definitely not what I'm looking for. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some good answers and some insults to and some just rude.
Get the drift though it really is down to just plain looks on the whole.
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Report the insults and rudeness bud, it's not acceptable whether it's aimed at women or guys. Simple. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
I would say the answer below the OP had the right one, it is a polite way to say they are not attracted to you
As you seem to be trying to draw the thread to a close I will do it for you |
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