FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Believing one's own hype?

Believing one's own hype?

By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

When we try and project a certain image of oneself, do we risk becoming a bit of a caricature? That we become a one dimensional character, which in itself is a bit predictable and dull?

Do we start using the forum and try and lay claim to a little part of it, by trying to be known as the funny, brutally honest or wise one? After a while to we then become stuck in a rut so to speak? Do the fora genuinely believe the image you portray?

Being a well rounded person is surely more attractive and well more real? Yeah I can lovely but I know I have my bitchy moments, I'm human it's allowed. know that is a lot of questions, just interested in people's view on people's perceptions of others and on their own on here

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

I dont really have a perception but i know im a straight talker but i just answer posts honestly i dont try and be something.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I agree that I generally project my lighter sides on the forums, but have been known to have a couple rants, or make a flippant comment or two. But I try not to engage when in a "darker" mood as wouldn't want to bring that to the fora. I can get down, arsey, opinionated - and for me, don't think being on forums is good for me when like that, especially when not knowing anyone on here really.

That probably doesn't help your questions being answered, but that's my tuppence worth.

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By *riar BelisseWoman over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

There are a few alternate personalities on here, I've been lucky enough to meet both sides of some of them, the show fab side and the real life personal side.

I'm just me on here, when people meet me they soon realise that and

I try never to be bitchy and horrible to anyone as I know what that feels like to be on the receiving end and I'm a better person than that x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

More often than not I'm trying to have a laugh on here, but that's me in real life as well. If that has made me look one dimensional on the forum then so be it, as was said earlier, you cant please all of the people all of the time

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don’t believe the hype it’s a sequel

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nothing is too real on here. If you don't lose sight of that, everything else is cream cheese

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By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

"I agree that I generally project my lighter sides on the forums, but have been known to have a couple rants, or make a flippant comment or two. But I try not to engage when in a "darker" mood as wouldn't want to bring that to the fora. I can get down, arsey, opinionated - and for me, don't think being on forums is good for me when like that, especially when not knowing anyone on here really.

That probably doesn't help your questions being answered, but that's my tuppence worth.

I get you, think we all hide the ranty side on here. Hard to express that side via the forum

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's the Facebook generation. Posting pics and updates to make them look happy when the reality is very shit.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nope, I am who I am whether I am on the Fora or in real life. Takes up too much energy otherwise.

Not afraid to call people out if necessary but also kind and ready to listen if people need it.

Yup that is me, what you see is indeed what you get

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By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

"There are a few alternate personalities on here, I've been lucky enough to meet both sides of some of them, the show fab side and the real life personal side.

I'm just me on here, when people meet me they soon realise that and

I try never to be bitchy and horrible to anyone as I know what that feels like to be on the receiving end and I'm a better person than that x"

That's interesting the forum side and the more real side.

I was referring to myself I try not to be bitchy but I'm not perfect. What I was trying to say is that were never 100% one thing we're all a mixture I think x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just be yourself OP.

Don't overthink it, just enjoy yourself and the rest will follow.

On a personal note - I wouldnt say you guys are one dimensional at all - we've had some good conversations and there are many sides to you that I personally like. You guys are sexy , clever, considerate , funny ....that seems like an all rounder to me.

Not sure if that helps

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By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

"More often than not I'm trying to have a laugh on here, but that's me in real life as well. If that has made me look one dimensional on the forum then so be it, as was said earlier, you cant please all of the people all of the time

Nope you cannot please everyone at all, such is life

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I definitely try to stick to the more light hearted subjects in this forum because I'm looking for a bit of fun and escape.

If people really want to know all sides of me then they are free to message me and play shrink to my problems

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

I'm awesome.. end of

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By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

"It's the Facebook generation. Posting pics and updates to make them look happy when the reality is very shit.

You know what I've never thought of the forum like that. That's properly made me think,thank you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

But in answer to your question, I think you have a point, almost to the point that I know what certain people are going to say on certain topics, I’m waiting for them to comment and I’m usually in the right ball park. Also I know what threads some people will comment on, so yes I think people play up to the caricature they’ve niche for themselves, It gets very predictable, I highly doubt they could get away with acting like they do on here in real life, no one would put up with it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's the Facebook generation. Posting pics and updates to make them look happy when the reality is very shit.

I would definitely agree with this.

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By *ea monkeyMan over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Yes. Absolutely.

I think that some feel that the forums would stop if they left or their esteem is tied up in the little dopamine hits of being commented on. That then translates as being recognised, as being liked and leads to 'playing' a part of themselves.

I've seen it an awful lot over the years and the forums have a very short memory. No one is ever really missed and no part is so big that the forums ever stop.

I think that those that are fake/false/caricatures are easily spotted after a while and usually end the same way. I find that the real people are the ones that have good days and bad, are grumpy and can be negative at times, as most people are.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Are you daring to suggest that some folk find a "thing" on fab that works and then milk that thing for all it's worth to get the sex Frida?

Seriously though I do get really bored with the 1D folk who feel they have a role or responsibility or special position here. Like "wheel out xyz, we need the mood lifting, or ABC, we need some wisdom, or jkl we need some love".

I think we only grow by being different and surrounding ourselves by with difference, rather than familiarity. Breaking out of our comfort zone if you will and finding NEW "things" that work, rather than trying to recreat that amazing overhead kick we once scored that goal with in the final minute when the people cheered etc....

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By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

"But in answer to your question, I think you have a point, almost to the point that I know what certain people are going to say on certain topics, I’m waiting for them to comment and I’m usually in the right ball park. Also I know what threads some people will comment on, so yes I think people play up to the caricature they’ve niche for themselves, It gets very predictable, I highly doubt they could get away with acting like they do on here in real life, no one would put up with it."

Yes this is what I was getting at, but you've expressed better than I have thank you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I knew you'd have that view point on this subject

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I knew you'd have that view point on this subject

I was waiting for you to reply and quote me!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes this is what I was getting at, but you've expressed better than I have thank you

Also I have nicknames for the characters, I’ll keep them to myself.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No hype here. More of a what's all the fuss about kind of guy. Straight talker.

As for the rest of you. You're all ok in your own right

Peace and Love

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By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

"Yes. Absolutely.

I've seen it an awful lot over the years and the forums have a very short memory. No one is ever really missed and no part is so big that the forums ever stop.

That's kinda what I was getting at, when you decide you are the forum "self proclaimed title" are you limiting yourself? And does anyone really believe it anyway? I like to see people just being themselves that should be enough should it not?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This also, but in saying this and requoting it I'm also falling into it, just as Mr Jeans did by writing it....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I always tried to stay upbeat, happy and inclusive on the forum especially when I first joined and that's what everyone saw and expected of me. One day, in a rather upset mood, people saw a different side of me that was dealing with grief and heartbreak and actually really struggling. I thought I'd get a bad reaction to my little breakdown but was proved totally wrong. I've since let my mood slip when needed and try not to worry about it.

I think it's good to see that we are all human and go through different emotions. We aren't robots, there are real people behind the keyboards and I do think there are times when some need reminding of that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I knew you'd have that view point on this subject

I was waiting for you to reply and quote me! "

Touche

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By *HaRiFMan over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.

We are what we are, it's hard to control others perceptions

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I always tried to stay upbeat, happy and inclusive on the forum especially when I first joined and that's what everyone saw and expected of me. One day, in a rather upset mood, people saw a different side of me that was dealing with grief and heartbreak and actually really struggling. I thought I'd get a bad reaction to my little breakdown but was proved totally wrong. I've since let my mood slip when needed and try not to worry about it.

+1 I think it's ok to show all sides.

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By *asilyled1Man over a year ago

ogmore valley

All you can be is yourself,some will like it some won’t f. I’m just me,some like me some might not,most don’t even know me!

But you pair are sound as a pound!

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By *andyfloss2000Woman over a year ago

ashford

I'm just me same as in real life a bit bat shit crazy! But me nonetheless x

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By *riar BelisseWoman over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

"There are a few alternate personalities on here, I've been lucky enough to meet both sides of some of them, the show fab side and the real life personal side.

I'm just me on here, when people meet me they soon realise that and

I try never to be bitchy and horrible to anyone as I know what that feels like to be on the receiving end and I'm a better person than that x

That's interesting the forum side and the more real side.

I was referring to myself I try not to be bitchy but I'm not perfect. What I was trying to say is that were never 100% one thing we're all a mixture I think x"

I agree with you lovely and more often than not that mixture is right

Im just hyper sensitive to bitchiness from personal abuse issues so I avoid doing it x

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By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

"Are you daring to suggest that some folk find a "thing" on fab that works and then milk that thing for all it's worth to get the sex Frida?

Yeah nip that's why I post pics of my boobs and red hair. Milking my tits for all their worth!!!

But on a serious note, I don't believe I can say intelligent all of the time I want/need my silly 5 minutes else I'll go insane. The forum is everyone's responsibility it belongs to no-one it's a collective.

And with you it's all it's those subtle nuances that make people interesting, to me at least

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've never been one for social media and this is the longest I've stayed in a social/forum type thing.

I like to think I am expressing all sides of my personality on here - from silly to serious. And if I ever got 'dark' then someone might realise that I am sliding downhill mentally and not being intentionally nasty.

I do think on a forum you start to see people as 'characters' rather than 'real people' - a bit like how some actors get so associated with a character people see them as that character.

And if you meet that person in RL then there might be a big disjunct between the forum character and the real person - which may or may not be disappointing.

But I think even in RL you may project different parts of yourself more or less depending on who you are with. And the forum may allow some to show a side of themselves they are not comfortable with displaying in RL.

This also brings up the question do we ever show ourselves truly to anyone or are we all wearing different masks at different times? And can you ever truly know someone completely?

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By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

Yes this is what I was getting at, but you've expressed better than I have thank you

Also I have nicknames for the characters, I’ll keep them to myself.

Now I'm intrigued lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All you can be is yourself,some will like it some won’t f. I’m just me,some like me some might not,most don’t even know me!

But you pair are sound as a pound!

I kinda disagree with you, that's the point of the OP - some folk clearly aren't themselves here, so they can be that too it would seem.... ....my fab bullshit detector has been melting lately it's got so hot....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes this is what I was getting at, but you've expressed better than I have thank you

Also I have nicknames for the characters, I’ll keep them to myself.

Now I'm intrigued lol "

Don’t worry, I haven’t come up with one for you yet

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

I'm not my real self here or anywhere on the net. I've been kicking around internet fora since the days of "handbag" and seen the many and various deceptions the net allows, no way am I revealing too much of myself.

Nobody is 100% their real self (whatever that means) with everyone.

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

"Yes. Absolutely.

Do you think you ever play up to being a caricature of yourself?

But yes, OP, you're spot on. People naturally (well some anyway) become almost an archetype. So you have the "joker", the "wise one", the "lover (of all)" etc. I've got a ridiculously good memory and I can't say I've ever seen any one be constantly happy on here, even those that are touted as being so. Nor have I seen the lack of judgement/constant wisdom from those who you'd think were from self proclamation.

And City?

He's spot on. I know how posters will post, I can tell when someone is a returning poster because people have a particular voice.

On the whole I post exactly how I'm feeling, to the point my friends and partners know when something is wrong because my posts aren't happy. Most of the time they are happy because I am and they reflect that.

Anyway, fora is a thing and I'm happy. Go me.

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By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

Exactly we aren't robots and perhaps some of the depersonalisation that occurs on here, does happen as we don't come across as a whole person

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"I've never been one for social media and this is the longest I've stayed in a social/forum type thing.

I do think on a forum you start to see people as 'characters' rather than 'real people' - a bit like how some actors get so associated with a character people see them as that character.

And if you meet that person in RL then there might be a big disjunct between the forum character and the real person - which may or may not be disappointing.

This also brings up the question do we ever show ourselves truly to anyone or are we all wearing different masks at different times? And can you ever truly know someone completely?"

That's about it in my opinion

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

I am what I am...ooh can feel a song coming on!

Pretty much what you see is what you get with me.

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By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

Yes this is what I was getting at, but you've expressed better than I have thank you

Also I have nicknames for the characters, I’ll keep them to myself.

Now I'm intrigued lol

Don’t worry, I haven’t come up with one for you yet

Phew if you ever do let me know good or bad lol

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By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

"I've never been one for social media and this is the longest I've stayed in a social/forum type thing.

I do think on a forum you start to see people as 'characters' rather than 'real people' - a bit like how some actors get so associated with a character people see them as that character.

And if you meet that person in RL then there might be a big disjunct between the forum character and the real person - which may or may not be disappointing.

This also brings up the question do we ever show ourselves truly to anyone or are we all wearing different masks at different times? And can you ever truly know someone completely?"

This is a really interesting answer, which I'm going to ponder over in a bit with a cuppa

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes this is what I was getting at, but you've expressed better than I have thank you

Also I have nicknames for the characters, I’ll keep them to myself.

Now I'm intrigued lol

Don’t worry, I haven’t come up with one for you yet

Phew if you ever do let me know good or bad lol "

Ok Frida!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes this is what I was getting at, but you've expressed better than I have thank you

Also I have nicknames for the characters, I’ll keep them to myself.

Now I'm intrigued lol

Don’t worry, I haven’t come up with one for you yet

New forum game. Guess the user by their nickname

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By *asilyled1Man over a year ago

ogmore valley

"All you can be is yourself,some will like it some won’t f. I’m just me,some like me some might not,most don’t even know me!

But you pair are sound as a pound!

Get what you’re saying but I can’t say if they’re being themselves as I don’t know them.i like to take everyone at face value,but yes I do sense a lot of bullshit too! I just like people to be honest whether it’s funny annoying crazy or even grumpy!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm not my real self here or anywhere on the net. I've been kicking around internet fora since the days of "handbag" and seen the many and various deceptions the net allows, no way am I revealing too much of myself.

Nobody is 100% their real self (whatever that means) with everyone."

I'm the world's biggest cynic, but yet I've met ppl who I believe genuinely are 100% their real self with me, and it's also fair to say that their real self can vary day to day..... .....there are a couple of people on fabs who are totally straight with me and it's clear that they are, I feel it and they've demonstrated it, it's a rare and beautiful thing and it's where true friendship can be found. When you're not hiding anything there's literally nothing to hide, more people should try this!

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By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

"Yes. Absolutely.

Do you think you ever play up to being a caricature of yourself?

And City?

He's spot on. I know how posters will post, I can tell when someone is a returning poster because people have a particular voice.

Anyway, fora is a thing and I'm happy. Go me.

Fora is most definitely a thing. You're one of those I can't predict what they are going to say at all, I know is it'll be interesting.

I agree we all have good days and bad days, it's human nature.

I maybe don't understand why people pigeon hole themselves. But it's probably because I dislike people doing that to me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

By their very nature forums become clicky and acceptance is sought and handed out, or not. Private kik groups made - These are no different, you can see it across many posts.

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By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

"All you can be is yourself,some will like it some won’t f. I’m just me,some like me some might not,most don’t even know me!

But you pair are sound as a pound!

Exactly M people being themselves is far more interesting

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By *andyfloss2000Woman over a year ago

ashford

Yes this is what I was getting at, but you've expressed better than I have thank you

Also I have nicknames for the characters, I’ll keep them to myself.

Now I'm intrigued lol

Don’t worry, I haven’t come up with one for you yet

New forum game. Guess the user by their nickname

Yes this would b fun?? X

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Nobody is 100% their real self (whatever that means) with everyone.

Yep. But I've never met any body who's their real self with everyone.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" ... or their esteem is tied up in the little dopamine hits of being commented on.

I can get massive dopamine hits from my threads being commented on. It can make me feel high and sometimes a bit too high. It's not to do with self-esteem but addiction.

But if someone is feeling low and they post to the forum and get a lift then that can be a good thing. A problem can occur when *all* you are doing is chasing the dopamine hit.

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By *lbinoGorillaMan over a year ago

Redditch

I'm not sure I have any hype around me, but that might be the power of self delusion

I tend to post whatever is in my mind, or what I'm feeling, in that particular moment whether that be happy, sad, silly or whatever. The fact that my feelings can change between hitting "post" and it appearing on screen is irrelevant

As for other people, I'm too lazy to get involved thinking about whether they're being true to themselves, or consistent. I just take everything at face value, and often give glib or token answers that might not reflect what I actually think. I'm starting to realise that this us why I don't relate well to other people, why I can't build lasting connections and it's what ruined my last relationship

What was the question again?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oooooo i like this.

Yes, i believe there are projections we try to give of ourselves, we try to enlarge our best traits i believe. I always try and be funny and a nice person. But people who know me well would show you the straight talking person who is pretty organised and serious. People will always see the full picture if they get close enough to us all, we just let them see small pieces at a time.

But isnt part of this about letting go of every day life to let other sides of ourselves come out? I believe so anyhow.

I do believe this place also gives people confidence which is great, but it i think some people do get an ego with it. Its about balancing it out as i genuinely believe most people are good people here who have a sense of belonging, especially with this forum. I love the sense of community here.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman over a year ago

On a mooch

For some this is a crutch that gets them through the day, wanting to be liked, masking their real self and pain with what I can only describe as fake loving.

When that wears off or some individuals move on to the new flavour of the month, it can have a negative effect on a lot of people and their demons they were trying to hide raise the ugly heads again.

Be true to yourself and then you can be true to others no matter your mood. That doesn’t mean being disrespectful, rude or similar traits just because you are having a sh*t day, you can get your thoughts over without any of them .... we are all human and no one is that positive and happy 24/7 365 days of the year.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nobody is 100% their real self (whatever that means) with everyone.

Yep. But I've never met any body who's their real self with everyone. "

Oh that's a shame, but I have! The OP is one example, she might not interact with some in the same way but maybe she doesn't want to and if she did then in doing so she wouldn't be being herself, yet she's always still true to herself..... .....she's never pretending to be anyone else or lying or bitching for sympathy or fabs. Just being herself, innit.....

Maybe this is what some folk really mean when they're using the term genuine all the time on fab....?

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Nobody is 100% their real self (whatever that means) with everyone.

Yep. But I've never met any body who's their real self with everyone.

Maybe this is what some folk really mean when they're using the term genuine all the time on fab....?"

Ok.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" ... I know how posters will post ...

I can do this with some. I find the ones I can't predict as the more interesting and am more likely to pay attention to what they have written.

I do find some posters very repetetive in their comments and this can irritate me privately so I tend to skip over their posts and don't interact with them.

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By *lbinoGorillaMan over a year ago

Redditch

" ... or their esteem is tied up in the little dopamine hits of being commented on.

I can get massive dopamine hits from my threads being commented on. It can make me feel high and sometimes a bit too high. It's not to do with self-esteem but addiction.

But if someone is feeling low and they post to the forum and get a lift then that can be a good thing. A problem can occur when *all* you are doing is chasing the dopamine hit."

I see what you're saying here. I must admit that if I comment on a post and all those comments around mine get quoted and further commented on and mine gets ignored it can make me feel like I don't belong, or that I'm a slight outsider with views at odds with everyone else's. Conversely,if I do get included it's a nice feeling, of belonging somewhere, but I hope I don't actively chase the attention

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By *nliveneTV/TS over a year ago

Selby

Don't like bitchy but like you said OP is a human nature side, not only here hapen but outside in the daily life of everybody.

I just say to myself all the timme "seat in the corner and watch" , in the end karma always win

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By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

"Oooooo i like this.

But isnt part of this about letting go of every day life to let other sides of ourselves come out? I believe so anyhow.

True guess what I was trying to say was, if I said I was the most intelligent and serious person on fab (I'm not by the way) would I be limiting myself? Would I miss out on the fun threads because people would think I'm too serious. Would anyone believe me even if I said I was my own self proclaimed title?

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By * Sophie xTV/TS over a year ago

Derby

I totally believe the hype about me.

Im a guy in a dress, simple.

#beleievethehype

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" ... or their esteem is tied up in the little dopamine hits of being commented on.

I can get massive dopamine hits from my threads being commented on. It can make me feel high and sometimes a bit too high. It's not to do with self-esteem but addiction.

But if someone is feeling low and they post to the forum and get a lift then that can be a good thing. A problem can occur when *all* you are doing is chasing the dopamine hit.

Just keep being you and posting what you think rather than what you think people want to hear.

What I have learnt from here is that even if your thread or comment doesn't seem to get noticed chances are someone will have noticed it even if it doesn't get commented on.

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By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

" ... or their esteem is tied up in the little dopamine hits of being commented on.

I can get massive dopamine hits from my threads being commented on. It can make me feel high and sometimes a bit too high. It's not to do with self-esteem but addiction.

But if someone is feeling low and they post to the forum and get a lift then that can be a good thing. A problem can occur when *all* you are doing is chasing the dopamine hit.

Yeah but you are you, you always come across as a normal person who isn't playing a character for likes. I appreciate that

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By *iddlesticksMan over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

I’m an ordinary bloke who thinks I’m cleverer and funnier than I really am.

But I can live with that.

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By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

"I totally believe the hype about me.

Im a guy in a dress, simple.

#beleievethehype

Shut up, you are more than that, stop taking the piss on my thread

#howverydareyou

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By *ea monkeyMan over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Yes. Absolutely.

I've seen it an awful lot over the years and the forums have a very short memory. No one is ever really missed and no part is so big that the forums ever stop.

To a certain degree, yes, but that's only if it's a false persona.

Psychologically and socially a group requires certain relationship modes and characters in order to function effectively, that's a natural aspect and if people fulfil that, then it's not limiting as it's natural.

The issue is when it's not real and the persona limits their interaction in real life.

I think that what you're touching on here is reality vs projection and the psychological impact on a person of having to portray that persona in reality for fear of getting 'caught out'. I think that for some, that's a very real issue.

In those terms, being the real you is the only way to be, however, on the internet, some just can't help but wear a mask

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd say I'm fairly vapid and one dimensional on here, which I'm fine with

. It'd be quite naive of anyone to think they know me just from forum posts, but I don't feel that obliged to try be more well rounded.

I worry a bit about how much people share online sometimes, think it'd be less of an issue on a completely anonymous site, but this one has an odd combo of some anonymity to discuss personal issues/vulnerabilities, then we're all onto swapping face pictures/other identifiable info and meeting up with strangers (who can all read the forum whether we know they do or not). I won't lie or try project a false image, but I do keep people at arms length a bit, so I'm not bothered if other people do the same.

I do think some people try hard to build a brand for themselves, but maybe it's a little bit of fantasy for them to cheer up the daily grind. I'm happy just letting them enjoy it if it's not hurting anyone. If I don't like interacting with them, I just don't.

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By *lbinoGorillaMan over a year ago

Redditch

" ... or their esteem is tied up in the little dopamine hits of being commented on.

I can get massive dopamine hits from my threads being commented on. It can make me feel high and sometimes a bit too high. It's not to do with self-esteem but addiction.

But if someone is feeling low and they post to the forum and get a lift then that can be a good thing. A problem can occur when *all* you are doing is chasing the dopamine hit.

Yeah but you are you, you always come across as a normal person who isn't playing a character for likes. I appreciate that

Do you mean I'm really crap at trying to flirt?

But thank you, I appreciate your comment

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd say I'm fairly vapid and one dimensional on here, which I'm fine with

. It'd be quite naive of anyone to think they know me just from forum posts, but I don't feel that obliged to try be more well rounded.

This

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Oooooo i like this.

But isnt part of this about letting go of every day life to let other sides of ourselves come out? I believe so anyhow.

Its a hard question as this forum ebbs and flows, sometimes its the most inclusive place where people make everyone welcome, and other times.....well...it is what it is at those times i guess.

Anyway #bekind

and all that empty bollocks

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By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

"I'd say I'm fairly vapid and one dimensional on here, which I'm fine with

. It'd be quite naive of anyone to think they know me just from forum posts, but I don't feel that obliged to try be more well rounded.

I really like your brand paragraph. That's really interesting take

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I can go honestly say what you see is what you get. I don’t try to project myself as any particular way. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I’m very much a open book, probably too much so. When I’m down my posts show that I’m down, when I’m happy they are happy posts. I wouldn’t know how to be anything other than how I really am

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By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

" ... or their esteem is tied up in the little dopamine hits of being commented on.

I can get massive dopamine hits from my threads being commented on. It can make me feel high and sometimes a bit too high. It's not to do with self-esteem but addiction.

But if someone is feeling low and they post to the forum and get a lift then that can be a good thing. A problem can occur when *all* you are doing is chasing the dopamine hit.

Yeah but you are you, you always come across as a normal person who isn't playing a character for likes. I appreciate that

Do you mean I'm really crap at trying to flirt?

But thank you, I appreciate your comment

I didn't say that cheeky.

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By *ea monkeyMan over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Yes. Absolutely.

Do you think you ever play up to being a caricature of yourself?

And City?

He's spot on. I know how posters will post, I can tell when someone is a returning poster because people have a particular voice.

Anyway, fora is a thing and I'm happy. Go me.

I think that there was a time when I felt that people were expecting me to be a certain way in person and I felt that pressure. I've not played up to a certain way of being though. I don't filter my thoughts on here, no more than is required to prevent bans.

I've never held back from an argument or tried to be more likeable to win friends.

As you say though, some do have long memories and remember how people behaved 'before', for good and ill

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By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

"I can go honestly say what you see is what you get. I don’t try to project myself as any particular way. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I’m very much a open book, probably too much so. When I’m down my posts show that I’m down, when I’m happy they are happy posts. I wouldn’t know how to be anything other than how I really am "

I'm the same, my moods are too up and down to be consistently anything. And that's who I am, I can't be anything else

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There's some hype and self belief on this thread, js....

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By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

"Yes. Absolutely.

I've seen it an awful lot over the years and the forums have a very short memory. No one is ever really missed and no part is so big that the forums ever stop.

To a certain degree, yes, but that's only if it's a false persona.

The issue is when it's not real and the persona limits their interaction in real life.

In those terms, being the real you is the only way to be, however, on the internet, some just can't help but wear a mask "

It's a bit like having to portray the happy chappy even if you're desperately unhappy. I just don't think that is necessarily healthy for an individual.

Maybe the forum is a bit like a book and we need some familiar characters I don't know. If I knew the answer I wouldn't post the thread. Just here to pick other people's brains

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By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

"There's some hype and self belief on this thread, js....

What you saying I'm not the most intelligent and serious person here

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By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

The way I approach the forums is very dependent on my mood. Not on whether I am putting on an act.

If I’m feeling good then I tend to be far more upbeat and sassy.

I’m feeling sad then my posts tend to be more thoughtful.

In a grump then I might be a bit more to the point, or have a sense of humour failure.

I’d like to think I don’t come across as a knob head, but I’m aware that we can’t all be liked by everyone.

The forums for me are a distraction from my hectic home life. I try to stay on the more positive threads these days and stay out of the argumentative threads. You live and learn.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I try and be me. Hiding behind a mask is not my way. Like me or don’t.

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By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

"The way I approach the forums is very dependent on my mood. Not on whether I am putting on an act.

If I’m feeling good then I tend to be far more upbeat and sassy.

I’m feeling sad then my posts tend to be more thoughtful.

In a grump then I might be a bit more to the point, or have a sense of humour failure.

I’d like to think I don’t come across as a knob head, but I’m aware that we can’t all be liked by everyone.

The forums for me are a distraction from my hectic home life. I try to stay on the more positive threads these days and stay out of the argumentative threads. You live and learn.

I'm a bit like this too, although I get ones where I'm far to contemplative and write really long OPs

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By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

"I try and be me. Hiding behind a mask is not my way. Like me or don’t. "

Totally with you on this, what I'm bad with sometimes is believing others hype, when they are using it as a mask

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There's some hype and self belief on this thread, js....

What you saying I'm not the most intelligent and serious person here

Oh behave!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The way I approach the forums is very dependent on my mood. Not on whether I am putting on an act.

If I’m feeling good then I tend to be far more upbeat and sassy.

I’m feeling sad then my posts tend to be more thoughtful.

In a grump then I might be a bit more to the point, or have a sense of humour failure.

I’d like to think I don’t come across as a knob head, but I’m aware that we can’t all be liked by everyone.

The forums for me are a distraction from my hectic home life. I try to stay on the more positive threads these days and stay out of the argumentative threads. You live and learn.

I can relate to this

How I post or what threads I create on the forum are very dependent on my mood. And it is certainly a distraction from my home life.

But I will venture into a thread that could become argumentative say my piece and leave - I know well enough when to reply and when not to reply in those threads.

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By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

"There's some hype and self belief on this thread, js....

What you saying I'm not the most intelligent and serious person here

Oh behave!

Will you stop telling me to behave?

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By *lbinoGorillaMan over a year ago

Redditch

"I try and be me. Hiding behind a mask is not my way. Like me or don’t.

Totally with you on this, what I'm bad with sometimes is believing others hype, when they are using it as a mask"

Yes, I sometimes get suckered into believing that some of the flirting that goes on in some of the threads is real, and stupidly makes me feel inadequate. That's usually the cue to take a couple of days off and regain a sense of proportion

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There's some hype and self belief on this thread, js....

What you saying I'm not the most intelligent and serious person here

Oh behave!

Will you stop telling me to behave? "

Will you....?

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By *otsossieMan over a year ago

Chesterfield

There’s no hype to believe.

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By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

"I try and be me. Hiding behind a mask is not my way. Like me or don’t.

Totally with you on this, what I'm bad with sometimes is believing others hype, when they are using it as a mask

Oh gosh yes that definitely can make you feel inadequate. But as you say, forum flirting doesn't equate to meets. That sounds a sensible approach to me

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By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

"There's some hype and self belief on this thread, js....

What you saying I'm not the most intelligent and serious person here

Oh behave!

Will you stop telling me to behave?

Will you....?

Stop leading me into trouble you

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By *ea monkeyMan over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"There's some hype and self belief on this thread, js....

I think it would be more concerning if people didn't believe what they were writing and is probably more pertinent to the topic

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There's some hype and self belief on this thread, js....

What you saying I'm not the most intelligent and serious person here

Oh behave!

Will you stop telling me to behave?

Will you....?

Stop leading me into trouble you

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By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

"There's some hype and self belief on this thread, js....

What you saying I'm not the most intelligent and serious person here

Oh behave!

Will you stop telling me to behave?

Will you....?

Stop leading me into trouble you

Maybe it's about time I posted a silly thread instead of my usual serious ones

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There's some hype and self belief on this thread, js....

I think it would be more concerning if people didn't believe what they were writing and is probably more pertinent to the topic"

Yes, it definitely is concerning....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There's some hype and self belief on this thread, js....

What you saying I'm not the most intelligent and serious person here

Oh behave!

Will you stop telling me to behave?

Will you....?

Stop leading me into trouble you

Maybe it's about time I posted a silly thread instead of my usual serious ones

You should post exactly what you like my love and don't let anyone change that! I thought this was a really good thread, a place to think a little deeper and a place to observe and learn. I love your threads....

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By *ea monkeyMan over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"There's some hype and self belief on this thread, js....

I think it would be more concerning if people didn't believe what they were writing and is probably more pertinent to the topic

Yes, it definitely is concerning...."

It's unlike you to be guarded with your comments!

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By *heslimoneMan over a year ago

Deeside

Any post in a public forum is generally an attempt to garner some attention and the nature of an individual post only rarely gives insight in to someone's character, it takes many pieces of a jigsaw to unlock the puzzle.

As for the original question i don't believe you become a caricature as such but the nature of online/text communication naturally means you get a very limited and flat image of a person, communication is so much more than words and character even more so.

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I've never consciously "projected" anything other than myself on the forums, I say things as I see them and offer nothing more or less, now sometimes that may be mood dependent, or based on my own preconceptions, but it's genuinely how I see it at the time of posting.

I certainly don't try to be anything I'm not - pretty much everyone I've met from here says I'm similar in person too.

I've been called everything from "wise" to a "bully" in my time here and don't believe either hype or play up to it - in fact I find being called "wise" or put on any kind of pedestal somewhat awkward, as there are many flavours of people here, all worthy of praise in their own way.

I do think there are those that hide behind a mask, or put on a false persona, or court popularity though and for the most part they are fairly transparent - if that works for them, then so be it.

Personally I can't be anything other than me, how people perceive that is their prerogative.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So I was chatting with a mate about this thread, and we observed that there's not a lot of personality, weekness, vulnerability or "reality" shown on the fab forum by some folk. There's some who post alllllll the time who I wouldn't know a thing about from their posts - no info about their lives outside fab even though I know all about their sex lives and have seen them naked, no info on what they do at the weekends or what their opinions are or what drives them or if they have kids, a partner or anything that gives the fab persona some genuine character, because they keep it well hidden. I think for me that's very important info when trying to understand a person or to take what I might view as their forum persona seriously.... ....I saw this thread as potentially a great opportunity to drop the personas, for one thread at least, especially after some if the initial comments, and to say something different about ourselves, yet a very high percentage of replies just came in exactly as the Jeans fella predicted at the start - comfortable "forum persona" style.... ....fab is so funny at times....

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By *wist my nipplesCouple over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"When we try and project a certain image of oneself, do we risk becoming a bit of a caricature? That we become a one dimensional character, which in itself is a bit predictable and dull?

Oh goodness OP, these are many varied and thought-provoking questions! And in making that observation and being drawn to this navel-gazing thread like a moth to a flame, am I becoming a caricature of myself?

I think we all wear many masks - it's unlikely we would interact in exactly the same way with our parents as with our work colleagues, our children, our friends, that guy you vaguely know from the gym. That in turn means that people may only see one side of us - not because we have created that persona, but because of the nature of the relationship and the interaction.

On here, it becomes harder to read, because of the interface. So you may form an impression of someone which turns out to be wholly inaccurate - because you were only seeing one side of them. Additionally, some people are very conscious of how they appear and may hone or curate their approach accordingly. That's when, I think, the idea on taking on a role comes into play. It can be conscious or u*conscious - and after a while, we may feel pushed into it by other's expectations. That's never a healthy place to be, to my mind.

Personally I think my use of the fora mirrors my state of mind. Playful, introspective, horny... I tend to post according to my mood. The one I usually shy away from is confrontational. If I'm feeling fired up, I try to step away. For me, there is rarely anything to gain from getting into a spat.

What about you, OP? Do you think you have a role? A part you have chosen to play?

Mrs TMN x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So I was chatting with a mate about this thread, and we observed that there's not a lot of personality, weekness, vulnerability or "reality" shown on the fab forum by some folk. There's some who post alllllll the time who I wouldn't know a thing about from their posts - no info about their lives outside fab even though I know all about their sex lives and have seen them naked, no info on what they do at the weekends or what their opinions are or what drives them or if they have kids, a partner or anything that gives the fab persona some genuine character, because they keep it well hidden. I think for me that's very important info when trying to understand a person or to take what I might view as their forum persona seriously.... ....I saw this thread as potentially a great opportunity to drop the personas, for one thread at least, especially after some if the initial comments, and to say something different about ourselves, yet a very high percentage of replies just came in exactly as the Jeans fella predicted at the start - comfortable "forum persona" style.... ....fab is so funny at times....

Not everyone wants to share a piece of them this way. There's nothing funny about that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There’s some very long comments on here, which I feel Obliged to read, if people could condense their answers to few sentence’s it would be much Appreciated.

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By *heslimoneMan over a year ago

Deeside

"There’s some very long comments on here, which I feel Obliged to read, if people could condense their answers to few sentence’s it would be much Appreciated.

No.

Your welcome

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There’s some very long comments on here, which I feel Obliged to read, if people could condense their answers to few sentence’s it would be much Appreciated.

No.

Your welcome "

* you’re

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By *iamondCougarWoman over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"It's the Facebook generation. Posting pics and updates to make them look happy when the reality is very shit.

And you can spot them a mile off .... two sides of a personality very apparent when you read between the lines

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By *heslimoneMan over a year ago

Deeside

"There’s some very long comments on here, which I feel Obliged to read, if people could condense their answers to few sentence’s it would be much Appreciated.

No.

Your welcome

* you’re

The odd thing is i had thought to correct that as i was writing but then thought fuck it.

Cheers mate.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There’s some very long comments on here, which I feel Obliged to read, if people could condense their answers to few sentence’s it would be much Appreciated.

No.

Your welcome

* you’re

The odd thing is i had thought to correct that as i was writing but then thought fuck it.

Cheers mate."

Your welcome

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By *heslimoneMan over a year ago

Deeside

"There’s some very long comments on here, which I feel Obliged to read, if people could condense their answers to few sentence’s it would be much Appreciated.

No.

Your welcome

* you’re

The odd thing is i had thought to correct that as i was writing but then thought fuck it.

Cheers mate.

Your welcome "

You tease you

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By *wist my nipplesCouple over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"There’s some very long comments on here, which I feel Obliged to read, if people could condense their answers to few sentence’s it would be much Appreciated.

Bet you've got me down as "bloody long answers woman"

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By *ea monkeyMan over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I think that's an interesting thought but it assumes firstly; that these people that you're thinking of are actually just 'personas', and secondly it assumes that anyone would ever let their mask slip.

People have too much to lose from showing the real them, too much to lose from not giving the 'right' answer.

It would be interesting to see genuine reactions but I think that we tend to only see those after someone has met

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By *ea monkeyMan over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

People have too much to lose from showing the real them, too much to lose from not giving the 'right' answer.

It would be interesting to see genuine reactions but I think that we tend to only see those after someone has met "

I would add as well, that it also depends on whether they want a stranger on the internet to know anything beyond the basics

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There’s some very long comments on here, which I feel Obliged to read, if people could condense their answers to few sentence’s it would be much Appreciated.

Bet you've got me down as "bloody long answers woman"

Yes, just keep your replies to that length and we’re all good!

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By *wist my nipplesCouple over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

People have too much to lose from showing the real them, too much to lose from not giving the 'right' answer.

It would be interesting to see genuine reactions but I think that we tend to only see those after someone has met "

I disagree, tea - I think you're projecting higher stakes onto this (too much to lose) than others may do. Some people are entirely unguarded. Of course, some people feel the same way you do

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By *wist my nipplesCouple over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"There’s some very long comments on here, which I feel Obliged to read, if people could condense their answers to few sentence’s it would be much Appreciated.

Bet you've got me down as "bloody long answers woman"

Yes, just keep your replies to that length and we’re all good!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't have any hype, and I don't know how to be anyone but me.

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By *affron40Woman over a year ago

manchester

I think it varies dramatically how people use the forum and what they want to contribute and get out of it. Most of the people I’ve met are a very good representation of themselves but there will always be some anomalies.. I don’t think that the biggest personalities by pen always translate to the brightest light in a room. So I’ll take it with a pinch of salt and see what I think when I see someone face to face

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By *heslimoneMan over a year ago

Deeside

"I think it varies dramatically how people use the forum and what they want to contribute and get out of it. Most of the people I’ve met are a very good representation of themselves but there will always be some anomalies.. I don’t think that the biggest personalities by pen always translate to the brightest light in a room. So I’ll take it with a pinch of salt and see what I think when I see someone face to face "

Bring a torch

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

People have too much to lose from showing the real them, too much to lose from not giving the 'right' answer.

It would be interesting to see genuine reactions but I think that we tend to only see those after someone has met

I disagree, tea - I think you're projecting higher stakes onto this (too much to lose) than others may do. Some people are entirely unguarded. Of course, some people feel the same way you do

This really, plus also most folk on the fab forums actually ARE 1D personas to me and most others as I/we don't know most of them at all, except for what they choose to represent through words and pics or what they say to our friends and what we hear - it's a simple fact of what they are to us, not what they ar to themselves, I think you missed my point. Do you know what I've been doing today or that I'm feeling anxious about my puppy having a major operation - no, because I'm 1D to you and you don't know me, right. In this thread I'd have loved to hear a serious guy crack a joke or a woman who only usually offers percieved wisdom tell me about her insecurities or where she went in holiday this year and what she thought of it, or a funny guy tell me his politics.

Seems like you're picking on my comments in particular in this thread, tbh I don't think that comes accross as too cool

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By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

What about you, OP? Do you think you have a role? A part you have chosen to play?

Mrs TMN x

After that the forum navel gazer that asks far too many questions lol!!

I'm too complicated to ever try and distill myself into as a persona or as someone above said a brand. I think I can come across as quite serious at times which I am but then at others I'm playful. It all depends on where my head is and what's been posted on the forum I suppose.

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By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

I don't even know what image I portray or if I am one dimensional and dull. I'm also too sleepy to think much about it. I rarely have much brain power left when I'm on here so I probably seem like a moron

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By *heslimoneMan over a year ago

Deeside

"I don't even know what image I portray or if I am one dimensional and dull. I'm also too sleepy to think much about it. I rarely have much brain power left when I'm on here so I probably seem like a moron

. "

Well....i didn't want to say anything...

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By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

Well....i didn't want to say anything..."

You would only be confirming my suspensions

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By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

That's something I hadn't considered either, that being a big personality on a forum wouldn't necessarily translate to real life.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

People have too much to lose from showing the real them, too much to lose from not giving the 'right' answer.

It would be interesting to see genuine reactions but I think that we tend to only see those after someone has met

I disagree, tea - I think you're projecting higher stakes onto this (too much to lose) than others may do. Some people are entirely unguarded. Of course, some people feel the same way you do

Seems like you're picking on my comments in particular in this thread, tbh I don't think that comes accross as too cool

"
you should of read the mental health thread last night. Everyone was opening up in there. And im having a surprise holiday. My partner is booking it and not telling me where we are going

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By * and R cple4Couple over a year ago

swansea

There’s some people who love to belittle others and jump on any mistakes as if they are perfect ,I would like to think this was just a online persona..

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By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

"There’s some people who love to belittle others and jump on any mistakes as if they are perfect ,I would like to think this was just a online persona.."

I dislike that too, I'm nowhere near perfect and can be an absolute idiot sometimes. I doubt they'd be so judgemental face to face

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

People have too much to lose from showing the real them, too much to lose from not giving the 'right' answer.

It would be interesting to see genuine reactions but I think that we tend to only see those after someone has met

I disagree, tea - I think you're projecting higher stakes onto this (too much to lose) than others may do. Some people are entirely unguarded. Of course, some people feel the same way you do

Seems like you're picking on my comments in particular in this thread, tbh I don't think that comes accross as too cool

you should of read the mental health thread last night. Everyone was opening up in there. And im having a surprise holiday. My partner is booking it and not telling me where we are going"

I did actually read some of it, I just felt it was a bit heavy to comment on because I was feeling ok myself. I saw your post and I really hope you're ok my love

. They're the BEST type of holidays, where you know someone is really thinking of you

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By *asilyled1Man over a year ago

ogmore valley

"There’s some people who love to belittle others and jump on any mistakes as if they are perfect ,I would like to think this was just a online persona.."

I don’t like seeing that either

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

Re nippys post. Yes im getting there thanks

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By *ea monkeyMan over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I disagree, tea - I think you're projecting higher stakes onto this (too much to lose) than others may do. Some people are entirely unguarded. Of course, some people feel the same way you do

It's not how I feel about things, I'm just recognising that some people will feel that their genuine reactions will prevent any interest. I've seen it often enough.

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

That's something I hadn't considered either, that being a big personality on a forum wouldn't necessarily translate to real life. "

I think there's two sides to that one - on the one hand you have those that use the anonymity of the keyboard to be something they're not - a "persona" they adopt if you like, and the reasons behind that may be for many reasons, some of them quite fake, some to deceive, and some actually quite sad.

Then there are those that in person maybe aren't quite as quick witted or afforded that "thinking time" that posting on a forum or in a message affords - their personality, character and underlying principles may be exactly the same regardless, just on-line they may seem a somehow larger character than they are in person.

I'd put myself in that latter category, my thoughts and beliefs are the same just I can't always articulate them quite as clearly in a face to face environment in the time afforded. I can actually be quite shy and reserved in person, especially when I don't know people, which surprises some people that have known me on-line first - but it's not a "persona" I adopt when I am here just the different scenario allows me to get my point across more clearly.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Re nippys post. Yes im getting there thanks"

That's great, and wd for condensing the post....

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By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

That's something I hadn't considered either, that being a big personality on a forum wouldn't necessarily translate to real life.

Plus the total opposite. Some people are short and sweet online but much more engaging in person.

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By *ea monkeyMan over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

People have too much to lose from showing the real them, too much to lose from not giving the 'right' answer.

It would be interesting to see genuine reactions but I think that we tend to only see those after someone has met

I disagree, tea - I think you're projecting higher stakes onto this (too much to lose) than others may do. Some people are entirely unguarded. Of course, some people feel the same way you do

Seems like you're picking on my comments in particular in this thread, tbh I don't think that comes accross as too cool

Where you feel I'm picking on your comments, I just see a discussion but hey ho. I've responded to several people on this thread in the same way as yourself.

I hope that your puppy is OK

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Plus the total opposite. Some people are short and sweet online but much more engaging in person."

Of course, for every ying there's always a yang

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That's something I hadn't considered either, that being a big personality on a forum wouldn't necessarily translate to real life.

I just looked up the definition just the check I wasn't going mad - persona isn't just about the individuals efforts to present themselves, it can equally be about perception of the individual. We all therefore are in possession of a persona as soon as we enter a public forum. It doesn't necessarily represent us fairly of course but it does exist. We should never fear words, especially in a place made up of them, innit.....

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By *rHotNottsMan over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Just be who you are, not everyone will like you and that’s fine. If you only hide behind lines or post to please it adds nothing. We like people with passion and that can come across as honest, funny, thoughtful, stubborn, occasionally ranty/whiny, vulnerable and even crazy - like us

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

" Plus the total opposite. Some people are short and sweet online but much more engaging in person."

I do think that to a certain degree it depends on who someone is interacting with, their preconceptions, their subconscious judgements yadda yadda. So person A could say "oh person X is nothing like their forum persona, they are really quiet but on the forum come across as a right dick". Person B could think that's codwallop and they are sweetness and light. I think that how someone is perceived is based as much on how they act as to how the viewer finds them. Not sure if this makes sense, I've just had a lot of espresso.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" Plus the total opposite. Some people are short and sweet online but much more engaging in person.

Totally

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

" Plus the total opposite. Some people are short and sweet online but much more engaging in person.

Totally

Ach, I've read the thread and seen your response! Really the totally should be in agreement with your reply - you got it spot on.

I was too busy slowly typing and trying to look at train times.

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By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

" Plus the total opposite. Some people are short and sweet online but much more engaging in person.

Much like real life we all have different perceptions and opinions of the same people.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

People have too much to lose from showing the real them, too much to lose from not giving the 'right' answer.

It would be interesting to see genuine reactions but I think that we tend to only see those after someone has met

I disagree, tea - I think you're projecting higher stakes onto this (too much to lose) than others may do. Some people are entirely unguarded. Of course, some people feel the same way you do

Seems like you're picking on my comments in particular in this thread, tbh I don't think that comes accross as too cool

Where you feel I'm picking on your comments, I just see a discussion but hey ho. I've responded to several people on this thread in the same way as yourself.

I hope that your puppy is OK"

Thanks for the concern, I'd perhaps suggest you focus on other users from here on in though if that's ok. I've no interest in talking or wasting energy, thanks for your understanding....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" Plus the total opposite. Some people are short and sweet online but much more engaging in person.

Totally

Ach, I've read the thread and seen your response! Really the totally should be in agreement with your reply - you got it spot on.

I was too busy slowly typing and trying to look at train times.

Are you definitely headed to the big smoke then?

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By *ea monkeyMan over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

" Plus the total opposite. Some people are short and sweet online but much more engaging in person.

Much like real life we all have different perceptions and opinions of the same people. "

That's very true.

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By *ea monkeyMan over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

An interesting thread OP, definitely one to get thinking about and it's touched on quite a few areas that have set my head mashing.

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By *ea monkeyMan over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Thanks for the concern, I'd perhaps suggest you focus on other users from here on in though if that's ok. I've no interest in talking or wasting energy, thanks for your understanding....

Not a problem. You respond to who you want, as will I.

Such is the wonder of a public forum

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By *heslimoneMan over a year ago

Deeside

Thanks for the concern, I'd perhaps suggest you focus on other users from here on in though if that's ok. I've no interest in talking or wasting energy, thanks for your understanding....

Not a problem. You respond to who you want, as will I.

Such is the wonder of a public forum"

You just had to have the last word didn't ya!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thanks for the concern, I'd perhaps suggest you focus on other users from here on in though if that's ok. I've no interest in talking or wasting energy, thanks for your understanding....

Not a problem. You respond to who you want, as will I.

Such is the wonder of a public forum"

Blocked

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I just looked up the definition just the check I wasn't going mad - persona isn't just about the individuals efforts to present themselves, it can equally be about perception of the individual. We all therefore are in possession of a persona as soon as we enter a public forum. It doesn't necessarily represent us fairly of course but it does exist. We should never fear words, especially in a place made up of them, innit.....

And I don't think anyone was suggesting it meant anything else based on that word alone - the key is in the context and the words around it.

Of course everyone has a persona as you've pointed out we all have one by it's very definition - it's how that persona is presented and perceived though

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thanks for the concern, I'd perhaps suggest you focus on other users from here on in though if that's ok. I've no interest in talking or wasting energy, thanks for your understanding....

Not a problem. You respond to who you want, as will I.

Such is the wonder of a public forum

Blocked"

Lol. Just as a matter of interest why do you seem to have an issue with anyone who dares disagree with you or confront you on something? We are all adults here are we not?

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By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

Thanks for the concern, I'd perhaps suggest you focus on other users from here on in though if that's ok. I've no interest in talking or wasting energy, thanks for your understanding....

Not a problem. You respond to who you want, as will I.

Such is the wonder of a public forum

Blocked

Lol. Just as a matter of interest why do you seem to have an issue with anyone who dares disagree with you or confront you on something? We are all adults here are we not?"

Adults? Nora you've been here long enough to know that's not true

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thanks for the concern, I'd perhaps suggest you focus on other users from here on in though if that's ok. I've no interest in talking or wasting energy, thanks for your understanding....

Not a problem. You respond to who you want, as will I.

Such is the wonder of a public forum

Blocked

Lol. Just as a matter of interest why do you seem to have an issue with anyone who dares disagree with you or confront you on something? We are all adults here are we not?

Adults? Nora you've been here long enough to know that's not true

. "

Ah yes of course!! Silly me!

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By *layful HarlequinMan over a year ago

iver heath

Oh good post op watching with interest

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By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

"Oh good post op watching with interest "

Not entirely sure about that tbh, but thank you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I just be me. The right people will like it

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By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

"I just be me. The right people will like it "

Exactly, it's the best way to be

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By *manaWoman over a year ago

Basingstoke

This thread has opened my eyes.

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By *ea monkeyMan over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Thanks for the concern, I'd perhaps suggest you focus on other users from here on in though if that's ok. I've no interest in talking or wasting energy, thanks for your understanding....

Not a problem. You respond to who you want, as will I.

Such is the wonder of a public forum

Blocked

Lol. Just as a matter of interest why do you seem to have an issue with anyone who dares disagree with you or confront you on something? We are all adults here are we not?"

I think you've just answered your own question there Nora. It's because they do.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This thread has opened my eyes."

Oh hi again

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By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

Thanks for the concern, I'd perhaps suggest you focus on other users from here on in though if that's ok. I've no interest in talking or wasting energy, thanks for your understanding....

Not a problem. You respond to who you want, as will I.

Such is the wonder of a public forum

Blocked

Lol. Just as a matter of interest why do you seem to have an issue with anyone who dares disagree with you or confront you on something? We are all adults here are we not?

I think you've just answered your own question there Nora. It's because they do. "

Please don't ask about why others have blocked someone. I'd rather this thread wasn't pulled and discussing blocks will result in it.

There's been a lot of insightful opinions on here and it's really been an interesting read

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By *manaWoman over a year ago

Basingstoke

I had hoped the pettiness had eased but sadly not so I'm off again. I'll be back when I can ignore the ridiculous digs once again, i thought i could but nope. IT IS NOT THIS DAY!

Hi loz xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

On a side note, are we all aware of how we are perceived? There was a thread that ran saying P.M something nice about people, and I got some lovely feedback I wasn't expecting and didn't think I portrayed on here much.

My forum interactions I THINK change dramatically dependant on my mood though.

But definately for some users I can guess what the tone of their threads/replies will be. Perhaps I'm equally predictable...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"On a side note, are we all aware of how we are perceived? There was a thread that ran saying P.M something nice about people, and I got some lovely feedback I wasn't expecting and didn't think I portrayed on here much.

My forum interactions I THINK change dramatically dependant on my mood though.

But definately for some users I can guess what the tone of their threads/replies will be. Perhaps I'm equally predictable... "

I really like your hands up threads!

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By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

[Removed by poster at 15/09/20 16:48:09]

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By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

My forum interactions I THINK change dramatically dependant on my mood though.

But definately for some users I can guess what the tone of their threads/replies will be. Perhaps I'm equally predictable... "

I love that thread I've had some lovely feedback too on that. I'm the same it's all dependent on my mood. I was in a self reflecting mood today. Though I reckon at the moment I should keep my musings to myself

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What a simply intersying thread and post .

Gosh people ive met have said ima nice sort of bloke , jolly and a tad eccentric.

We all have our diffent to fab sides too .

We begin fab with our profile , our shop window for ourselves. When we begin in the forums i think we ober time become moreike our real personas

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My forum interactions I THINK change dramatically dependant on my mood though.

But definately for some users I can guess what the tone of their threads/replies will be. Perhaps I'm equally predictable...

Nah muse away if it's one of those days.

I told myself I was taking a break this week. It lasted about 30 hours

I'm fairly frustrated with my current reliance on Fab atm.

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By *emorefrida OP Couple over a year ago

La la land

My forum interactions I THINK change dramatically dependant on my mood though.

But definately for some users I can guess what the tone of their threads/replies will be. Perhaps I'm equally predictable...

Nah muse away if it's one of those days.

I told myself I was taking a break this week. It lasted about 30 hours

I'm fairly frustrated with my current reliance on Fab atm. "

You only logged on to look at my boobies didn't you

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By *wist my nipplesCouple over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

My forum interactions I THINK change dramatically dependant on my mood though.

But definately for some users I can guess what the tone of their threads/replies will be. Perhaps I'm equally predictable...

Muse away, if you wish to muse

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My forum interactions I THINK change dramatically dependant on my mood though.

But definately for some users I can guess what the tone of their threads/replies will be. Perhaps I'm equally predictable...

Nah muse away if it's one of those days.

I told myself I was taking a break this week. It lasted about 30 hours

I'm fairly frustrated with my current reliance on Fab atm. "

How do you think you rely on fab my lovely?

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

This girl is London bound soon.

(I didn't want to not reply to Nippy)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ooo this is interesting and I'm doing some sound searching to answer honestly.

Lets be honest Fab has an element of attention seeking to it, so many of us will play to positive reactions in order to get more attention? Humour and empathy seem to be the big winners?

As for analysis...heck maybe I don't even realise how one dimensional I've become! But I truly hooe im just me, which fluctuates with my mood like most humans. But if I'm going to get a shag ill be anything you want.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

(I didn't want to not reply to Meli kindly replying to me, so....)

Meli, I hope you have a wonderful time and a fabulous birthday and I take no responsibility for restaurant recommendations. I'll do you a birthday thread!

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