FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > my wife.......
my wife.......
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".....Mrs Ravensong, is often complaining at the lack of imagination and creativity that guys show in their messages to her.To the point that we are starting to drift away from the site. So what would you do to rekindle here interest in Fab?" Tell her to send messages that show imagination and creativity to guys she’s interested in. | |||
"As it’s the ones who want long messages, get them, read them and don’t reply that stops men writing them in the end. Ask for a good message and reply, even if a no, would keep men trying. " Disagree here!! Men don't understand that ladies and couple profiles are inundated with messages. The site rules realise this and its common knowledge that if no reply, assume not interested. If the ego is bruised by that then, tough, get used it it here. Men are more abundant and the amount of time to reply, even to a "no thank you" will take way too long. | |||
".....Mrs Ravensong, is often complaining at the lack of imagination and creativity that guys show in their messages to her.To the point that we are starting to drift away from the site. So what would you do to rekindle here interest in Fab?" I do understand where she is coming from. I am finding more people of interest from the forum than I do from receiving messages out of the blue from people. I have interacted with them on threads, flirted, exchanged winks and secret messages...all of which adds to the attraction and generally am happy to move a chat to private messaging to find out more about them. I find that I am much more receptive to chat this way. Maybe you could encourage your wife to try the forum for a few weeks as a different strategy and see how it goes before drifting away from fab. Its working for me and hopefully it would for her. Good luck Her x | |||
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"Why doesnt she simply message the men she has an interest in?" This!  | |||
"Therein lies the problem. This isn’t a site for romantic messages. Sure you may get the odd Romeo that likes to recite poetry, but the vast majority of men on here are simply looking for no strings fun with minimum fuss. It’s a guy thing. The majority are into purely the physical side of things. I think you maybe need to move to a softer website where the emphasis is on romance and titillation. No offence intended, but this is supposedly a hardcore swingers site? "It's whatever we want it to be matey..... | |||
"As it’s the ones who want long messages, get them, read them and don’t reply that stops men writing them in the end. Ask for a good message and reply, even if a no, would keep men trying. Disagree here!! Men don't understand that ladies and couple profiles are inundated with messages. The site rules realise this and its common knowledge that if no reply, assume not interested. If the ego is bruised by that then, tough, get used it it here. Men are more abundant and the amount of time to reply, even to a "no thank you" will take way too long. " At least 5 times a week, you see a thread of some bloke asking 'why am I invisible... What's wrong with my profile"... Not realising you are one of 100's all messaging. 
OK rant over.  | |||
".....Mrs Ravensong, is often complaining at the lack of imagination and creativity that guys show in their messages to her.To the point that we are starting to drift away from the site. So what would you do to rekindle here interest in Fab? I do understand where she is coming from. I am finding more people of interest from the forum than I do from receiving messages out of the blue from people. I have interacted with them on threads, flirted, exchanged winks and secret messages...all of which adds to the attraction and generally am happy to move a chat to private messaging to find out more about them. I find that I am much more receptive to chat this way. Maybe you could encourage your wife to try the forum for a few weeks as a different strategy and see how it goes before drifting away from fab. Its working for me and hopefully it would for her. Good luck Her x" Essentially this for me too | |||
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"As it’s the ones who want long messages, get them, read them and don’t reply that stops men writing them in the end. Ask for a good message and reply, even if a no, would keep men trying. Disagree here!! Men don't understand that ladies and couple profiles are inundated with messages. The site rules realise this and its common knowledge that if no reply, assume not interested. If the ego is bruised by that then, tough, get used it it here. Men are more abundant and the amount of time to reply, even to a "no thank you" will take way too long. " No I agree with you no reply is the same as a no and is the polite accepted here. I think however if a person has set a bar for the messages they want then they should reply to those that meet that criteria. Those that don’t of course no reply is fine. After all how many good messages do you think someone sends before that quickly turns to “what’s the fucking point” and suddenly they send the “want to smash your back doors in” instead | |||
"To receive any message is a compliment. Sure many may not articulate well but look at it from the male side. Imagine you read the profile, fab a few of their pics and really take time and effort to send a good message and getting no response. Not even an acknowledgment back. You try again (another profile) same happens. Then you try again, and again and again no reply. You then come onto forums and see that women get so many messages yours would be lost in a pile and likely not seen. So you play the lottery. You send any message just so you’re in the mix and you hope that your profile photo in their inbox sparks their interest enough for them to reply to anything you’ve written as it’s just to break the ice. To insist on the first message being more intriguing and thoughtful then you really should also guarantee to reply to all too. " This is a really useful insight! We try and reply to mostly everyone (maybe not the openly crude and downright offensive messages), even if it’s just to say “thanks but no thanks” | |||
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".....Mrs Ravensong, is often complaining at the lack of imagination and creativity that guys show in their messages to her.To the point that we are starting to drift away from the site. So what would you do to rekindle here interest in Fab? I do understand where she is coming from. I am finding more people of interest from the forum than I do from receiving messages out of the blue from people. I have interacted with them on threads, flirted, exchanged winks and secret messages...all of which adds to the attraction and generally am happy to move a chat to private messaging to find out more about them. I find that I am much more receptive to chat this way. Maybe you could encourage your wife to try the forum for a few weeks as a different strategy and see how it goes before drifting away from fab. Its working for me and hopefully it would for her. Good luck Her x Essentially this for me too "Well hello both!  | |||
"Therein lies the problem. This isn’t a site for romantic messages. Sure you may get the odd Romeo that likes to recite poetry, but the vast majority of men on here are simply looking for no strings fun with minimum fuss. It’s a guy thing. The majority are into purely the physical side of things. I think you maybe need to move to a softer website where the emphasis is on romance and titillation. No offence intended, but this is supposedly a hardcore swingers site?
It's whatever we want it to be matey....."Yeah that’s the belief but we lie to ourselves if we think that’s the reality. It’s as stated a swinging site. So messaging about sex is to be expected. You can go on Facebook as start posting pics of your tackle. So if you want social media go to Facebook if you want erotic sexual fun come here. Don’t need to make one the other. | |||
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".....Mrs Ravensong, is often complaining at the lack of imagination and creativity that guys show in their messages to her.To the point that we are starting to drift away from the site. So what would you do to rekindle here interest in Fab? I do understand where she is coming from. I am finding more people of interest from the forum than I do from receiving messages out of the blue from people. I have interacted with them on threads, flirted, exchanged winks and secret messages...all of which adds to the attraction and generally am happy to move a chat to private messaging to find out more about them. I find that I am much more receptive to chat this way. Maybe you could encourage your wife to try the forum for a few weeks as a different strategy and see how it goes before drifting away from fab. Its working for me and hopefully it would for her. Good luck Her x Essentially this for me too
Well hello both! "Not obvious at all... | |||
".....Mrs Ravensong, is often complaining at the lack of imagination and creativity that guys show in their messages to her.To the point that we are starting to drift away from the site. So what would you do to rekindle here interest in Fab? I do understand where she is coming from. I am finding more people of interest from the forum than I do from receiving messages out of the blue from people. I have interacted with them on threads, flirted, exchanged winks and secret messages...all of which adds to the attraction and generally am happy to move a chat to private messaging to find out more about them. I find that I am much more receptive to chat this way. Maybe you could encourage your wife to try the forum for a few weeks as a different strategy and see how it goes before drifting away from fab. Its working for me and hopefully it would for her. Good luck Her x Essentially this for me too
Well hello both! "Subtle that was, do you reckon you can handle both of us? Think that would be a brave man to make me and Her on | |||
".....Mrs Ravensong, is often complaining at the lack of imagination and creativity that guys show in their messages to her.To the point that we are starting to drift away from the site. So what would you do to rekindle here interest in Fab? I do understand where she is coming from. I am finding more people of interest from the forum than I do from receiving messages out of the blue from people. I have interacted with them on threads, flirted, exchanged winks and secret messages...all of which adds to the attraction and generally am happy to move a chat to private messaging to find out more about them. I find that I am much more receptive to chat this way. Maybe you could encourage your wife to try the forum for a few weeks as a different strategy and see how it goes before drifting away from fab. Its working for me and hopefully it would for her. Good luck Her x Essentially this for me too
Well hello both!
Not obvious at all... " | |||
".....Mrs Ravensong, is often complaining at the lack of imagination and creativity that guys show in their messages to her.To the point that we are starting to drift away from the site. So what would you do to rekindle here interest in Fab? I do understand where she is coming from. I am finding more people of interest from the forum than I do from receiving messages out of the blue from people. I have interacted with them on threads, flirted, exchanged winks and secret messages...all of which adds to the attraction and generally am happy to move a chat to private messaging to find out more about them. I find that I am much more receptive to chat this way. Maybe you could encourage your wife to try the forum for a few weeks as a different strategy and see how it goes before drifting away from fab. Its working for me and hopefully it would for her. Good luck Her x Essentially this for me too
Well hello both!
Subtle that was, do you reckon you can handle both of us? Think that would be a brave man to make me and Her on "I love a challenge | |||
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".....Mrs Ravensong, is often complaining at the lack of imagination and creativity that guys show in their messages to her.To the point that we are starting to drift away from the site. So what would you do to rekindle here interest in Fab?" I’d just waffle about random stuff at great length, such as mountains, music and life’s great questions. I may manage to thrown in the odd bit of toe-curlingly inept filth at certain points to devastating effect. It’s served me extraordinarily well in my years on Fab. Well, ok that’s an exaggeration, but its all I’ve got | |||
"Why doesnt she simply message the men she has an interest in?" She does, and has met some lovely guys that way | |||
".....Mrs Ravensong, is often complaining at the lack of imagination and creativity that guys show in their messages to her.To the point that we are starting to drift away from the site. So what would you do to rekindle here interest in Fab? I do understand where she is coming from. I am finding more people of interest from the forum than I do from receiving messages out of the blue from people. I have interacted with them on threads, flirted, exchanged winks and secret messages...all of which adds to the attraction and generally am happy to move a chat to private messaging to find out more about them. I find that I am much more receptive to chat this way. Maybe you could encourage your wife to try the forum for a few weeks as a different strategy and see how it goes before drifting away from fab. Its working for me and hopefully it would for her. Good luck Her x Essentially this for me too
Well hello both!
Subtle that was, do you reckon you can handle both of us? Think that would be a brave man to make me and Her on "You know I would! | |||
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"While I would always say people should put some effort in and don’t advocate copy and paste or I want to smash your back doors in. Putting maximum effort into every message you send would be soul destroying as a large percentage would never be read or replied to. The first message should be brief, original and actually aimed at the profile your sending it to rather than generic, but I wouldn’t spent too long thinking up ways to grab someone’s attention. If you get a reply then of course follow up conversations should be interesting and imaginative." Yep. Totally agree. I'm not suggesting she is looking for soft romantic love letters , a glance through her/our pics and veris show we are here for filthy fun like everyone else. My point is that recently nearly ALL the messages are crude, thougtless crass and often disrespectful. I think if Chams was open we would probably just go a little more often and let Fab fare away | |||
"I've had the good fortune to chat with the Stunning Mrs Ravensong a few times. She is witty, smart and beautiful. The site would be a poorer place without her! Happy Fabbing to you both "Thanks . You too | |||
"While I would always say people should put some effort in and don’t advocate copy and paste or I want to smash your back doors in. Putting maximum effort into every message you send would be soul destroying as a large percentage would never be read or replied to. The first message should be brief, original and actually aimed at the profile your sending it to rather than generic, but I wouldn’t spent too long thinking up ways to grab someone’s attention. If you get a reply then of course follow up conversations should be interesting and imaginative. Yep. Totally agree. I'm not suggesting she is looking for soft romantic love letters , a glance through her/our pics and veris show we are here for filthy fun like everyone else. My point is that recently nearly ALL the messages are crude, thougtless crass and often disrespectful. I think if Chams was open we would probably just go a little more often and let Fab fare away " I just looked at your profile and thought I couldn’t see anything about her on it and then realised it’s YOUR profile!
In general though if someone’s profile has something you can work with rather than just 1 line then the first message should be tailored to them.
On the bright side though these guys are kind of helping you out by eliminating themselves. If they can’t show imagination in a message what hope do they have in the bedroom! | |||
"...... I just looked at your profile and thought I couldn’t see anything about her on it and then realised it’s YOUR profile!
In general though if someone’s profile has something you can work with rather than just 1 line then the first message should be tailored to them.
On the bright side though these guys are kind of helping you out by eliminating themselves. If they can’t show imagination in a message what hope do they have in the bedroom!"This is true! I think partly the problem is the common definition of swinging is changing a bit. As someone above said "this is a hardcore swinging site" I kind if wonder what that means to people? I've been on a bed at a club with 20 + people all having fun together, that's pretty hardcore swinging to me, but so many on here seem to have an entitled attitude and expect because it's a swinging site women should just be available and grateful that someone wants to fuck them as they happen to be passing through that evening! | |||
"...... I just looked at your profile and thought I couldn’t see anything about her on it and then realised it’s YOUR profile!
In general though if someone’s profile has something you can work with rather than just 1 line then the first message should be tailored to them.
On the bright side though these guys are kind of helping you out by eliminating themselves. If they can’t show imagination in a message what hope do they have in the bedroom!
This is true!
I think partly the problem is the common definition of swinging is changing a bit. As someone above said "this is a hardcore swinging site"
I kind if wonder what that means to people? I've been on a bed at a club with 20 + people all having fun together, that's pretty hardcore swinging to me, but so many on here seem to have an entitled attitude and expect because it's a swinging site women should just be available and grateful that someone wants to fuck them as they happen to be passing through that evening!"It’s probably different for different people. I expect 90% of people on here have never been in a 20 person orgy, I know I haven’t (sounds fun though). I think a lot of the guys your post was about are just using the site for 1on1 hook ups, some would say that’s not even swinging. Mrs R is entitled to pick and choose who she wants, unfortunately though on sites like this that means cutting through the dead wood a lot more than in clubs. I’m sure there are still lots of amazing meets out there for you both though. | |||
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"To receive any message is a compliment. Sure many may not articulate well but look at it from the male side. Imagine you read the profile, fab a few of their pics and really take time and effort to send a good message and getting no response. Not even an acknowledgment back. You try again (another profile) same happens. Then you try again, and again and again no reply. You then come onto forums and see that women get so many messages yours would be lost in a pile and likely not seen. So you play the lottery. You send any message just so you’re in the mix and you hope that your profile photo in their inbox sparks their interest enough for them to reply to anything you’ve written as it’s just to break the ice. To insist on the first message being more intriguing and thoughtful then you really should also guarantee to reply to all too. " I disagree, you have clearly never received some of them 
Jo | |||
"Unfortunately I think that you're preaching to the choir somewhat by posting on here. The type of guys who send lazy messages aren't the type to be whiling away time by writing nonsense to each other on the forums but I do understand the frustration. I hope that you receive some pleasant messages and have your faith reaffirmed. In my experiences with you both, you're kind and fun people. " This is absolutely true too
Jo x | |||
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"Unfortunately I think that you're preaching to the choir somewhat by posting on here. The type of guys who send lazy messages aren't the type to be whiling away time by writing nonsense to each other on the forums but I do understand the frustration. I hope that you receive some pleasant messages and have your faith reaffirmed. In my experiences with you both, you're kind and fun people. " Thankyou
To a certain extent you are absolutely right, and starting a thread like this is as much an attempt to engage with some decent and fun people as it is anything else, so when I send out gangbang invites I have a bunch of nice folk on my hot list  | |||
"Having met Mrs R I can certainly confirm seduction is the key! " I've got the photos to prove it
Hiya bud, how are you doing? | |||
"Having met Mrs R I can certainly confirm seduction is the key! I've got the photos to prove it
Hiya bud, how are you doing?"Oh yes! And I got a present too! As well as can be expected in these crazy times. How you keeping mate? Still as kinky as ever I see! | |||
"Unfortunately I think that you're preaching to the choir somewhat by posting on here. The type of guys who send lazy messages aren't the type to be whiling away time by writing nonsense to each other on the forums but I do understand the frustration. I hope that you receive some pleasant messages and have your faith reaffirmed. In my experiences with you both, you're kind and fun people. Thankyou
To a certain extent you are absolutely right, and starting a thread like this is as much an attempt to engage with some decent and fun people as it is anything else, so when I send out gangbang invites I have a bunch of nice folk on my hot list "Ah so there was method in your madness. I like your thinking | |||
" Ah so there was method in your madness. I like your thinking "Always | |||
"Having met Mrs R I can certainly confirm seduction is the key! I've got the photos to prove it
Hiya bud, how are you doing?Oh yes! And I got a present too! As well as can be expected in these crazy times. How you keeping mate? Still as kinky as ever I see! "Lol, all good thanks, as you say..crazy times | |||
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"Good morning, I had no idea my husband had posted this thread until I started to receive messages about it. We've been here as a couple for more years than I can remember (9/10?), and had single profiles for the last few years. In that time, the nature of the way people use the site has changed dramatically. It used to be a great place to connect with likeminded people, and the majority of the people who were here were genuine and actively looking to make connections in person, not just online. I now receive messages from people who take issue with the fact I actually want to have a conversation with them before I even consider being intimate. I accept that people are here for different reasons, but an increasing proportion of men seem to come across as having some sort of entitlement to sex just by being here, and expect me to meet them based on the simple fact that I'm here. Despite the number of messages I receive, I do my best to reply to all who have made some effort, even if it takes a while to get through them all. Most people appreciate a reply and are often surprised to get one, and then there are a few who send abusive messages in response to a polite no thank you, and that can be very unpleasant, but it doesn't deter me from replying to most because I realise that those negative responses are the minority. I make as much effort in contacting the men who catch my eye, as I would hope for from the men who are interested in me - I'm certainly not sitting here on my high horse expecting men to fall at my feet, far from it. Hopefully those who have interacted with me will attest to that. I don't expect chapter and verse when people first message, I understand how much time and effort men have to put into even getting noticed on here, but an uninspiring one line, generic message is unlikely to inspire any interest from me because I get so many of them - I don't think that's unreasonable. If a man can't hold a conversation online, I'm unlikely to enjoy his company in person. I have posted on the forums from time to time, but often when I do I find that people don't interact as such, they simply post their point of view and then move on. I don't have a lot of time to spend on the site, and most of the time I spend here is reading and replying to messages. I'm not looking for a romantic connection, I have that with my husband, but I am looking for men I can connect with and build a friendship with, with a view to longer term, regular sexual encounters - that's my personal choice of how I enjoy this lifestyle and it's worked really well over the years. The problem I find here now is that actually finding genuine people, let alone reasonably locally to me, is proving to be nigh on impossible. I'm sure most of the women who have posted here can relate to the frustration I feel. Thanks again for your input folks, it's always interesting to read other people's point of view. V x " Them pesky husbands posting without your knowledge, grrr! 
I think I said earlier anyone who takes issue or gets stroppy about being told a polite no probably isn’t worth your time anyway. I think most genuine people who have been around know that everyone is different. Yeah sure there are people who like to meet without much convo but there are plenty like you who want to get to know someone before anything happens.
I’m sure that from this thread you’ll have had messages from guys who are willing to have a decent chat and date I say flirt before they’d want a meet! They may be for you, they may not be, Who knows. Hopefully there will be some decent localish ones.
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"let her go. sounds to me shes looking for a reason to anyway" What????  | |||
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I guess Fab has changed and become more popular. There were lots of people saying it wasn’t what it was ten years ago when I joinrd though | |||
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"As it’s the ones who want long messages, get them, read them and don’t reply that stops men writing them in the end. Ask for a good message and reply, even if a no, would keep men trying. " | |||
".....Mrs Ravensong, is often complaining at the lack of imagination and creativity that guys show in their messages to her.To the point that we are starting to drift away from the site. So what would you do to rekindle here interest in Fab?" I wouldn't rekindle her interest. It won't change, it's always been this way. | |||
