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Embarrassing performance..
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Confession time..
Looking forward to a meet , anticipation,excitement etc etc etc..
Lovely persons who I met.
Wonderfull company, felt comfortable straight away.
Conversation began to get racy... touching feeling.
Before we new it all on top the bed.
Earth swallow me up , the little fella was only going to allow just the once .
Just could,nt get the thing going again..!! Waited ,chatted, tried more gentle fore play....
It was if the signals from the brain were just not going south.
The other persons were joking around making light of it.
Felt so bad as I felt I,d ruined there fun.
Think they just did,nt want to hurt my feeling and being polite to there credit.
Not going to be this way for quite sometime.
I doubt they,d be to upset with that.
I could leave quick enough.
Maybe age has finally caught up with us....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would I be bothered by it myself? No.
I'd be concerned if the guy couldn't leave quick enough. I'd be sad I'd not made him feel comfortable enough to be at ease with the situation."
Thank you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Confession time..
Looking forward to a meet , anticipation,excitement etc etc etc..
Lovely persons who I met.
Wonderfull company, felt comfortable straight away.
Conversation began to get racy... touching feeling.
Before we new it all on top the bed.
Earth swallow me up , the little fella was only going to allow just the once .
Just could,nt get the thing going again..!! Waited ,chatted, tried more gentle fore play....
It was if the signals from the brain were just not going south.
The other persons were joking around making light of it.
Felt so bad as I felt I,d ruined there fun.
Think they just did,nt want to hurt my feeling and being polite to there credit.
Not going to be this way for quite sometime.
I doubt they,d be to upset with that.
I could leave quick enough.
Maybe age has finally caught up with us....
"
I wouldn't worry about it too much, it's actually quite common x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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you could be placing too much pressure on yourself.
try to relax a bit more and before your next meet change the way you build up to it so if you can find out whats causing this.
sounds like your a bit nervous to me nothing to be ashamed about.
good luck |
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There's a whole lot more you can do apart from cock in vagine.
If a meet couldnt get it up for whatever reason I wouldn't be that bothered, but if they had no imagination/enthusiasm for other ways to play I'd be far more unimpressed.
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
OP it's something I've suffered with on occasion, and let it get to me more than I should - sometimes it just happens for any number of reasons, tiredness, just not feeling it, pressure to perform and more besides.
In my experience the key is not whether you can get it up, or whether you cum quickly but how you deal with it when it happens - getting flustered and worrying about it is a one way trip to a vicious and frustrating circle.
Try and ignore it, and take the focus off yourself for a while, find other ways to enjoy yourself and invariably it appears again when you least expect it.
It also helps to have understanding partners of course, and I can understand why you might have thought they were "just being nice" but you have to trust them on that - on the occasions it's happened to me I couldn't have hoped for more understanding people who were more than happy to carry on and have a good time in other ways until I was "ready" again |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
First things first is to not be ashamed or embarrassed about it. More men then ever suffer from performance anxiety or other forms of ED. Own that shit or it will play on your mind and get worse, Your psychology as well as physiology can affect your ability to get and maintain an erection.
If I rated myself on P in V sexual performance it would be low regardless of the fact I find it the least enjoyable activity we could do, which is why I have other tricks to make up for it. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I'd also add that this place doesn't help at times as it can give the perception that all the other guys can get hard at will and go for hours and that that is all the ladies want - which couldn't be further from the truth.
Most guys suffer some kind of issue at some point in their life, and most women don't expect sex gods, they understand we're human and that things don't always go as we'd like.
If you can get your head into that kind of mindset you'll find it helps - I used to get very frustrated about it - and have on occasion turned to the blue pills, but have been very much shown that I don't need them and that I have absolutely nothing to be concerned about. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Happened to me on a mmf meet,i came very quickly other guy made me feel uncomfortable with his comments"
And in that instance the problem was with him not you - similar thing happened to me in a club once, about 5 minutes in of purely oral play and I could feel myself about to cum, told the couple to hold back, their reaction? Carried on, made me cum and then told me what a great compliment it was that they had turned me on that much that I did, we carried on playing for the rest of the evening, he eventually recovered and we had a great time. They then met me again a few months later.
Two similar scenarios, two totally different outcomes that go to show that if you're all adult about it, it doesn't have to "ruin" a thing |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"OP it's something I've suffered with on occasion, and let it get to me more than I should - sometimes it just happens for any number of reasons, tiredness, just not feeling it, pressure to perform and more besides.
In my experience the key is not whether you can get it up, or whether you cum quickly but how you deal with it when it happens - getting flustered and worrying about it is a one way trip to a vicious and frustrating circle.
Try and ignore it, and take the focus off yourself for a while, find other ways to enjoy yourself and invariably it appears again when you least expect it.
It also helps to have understanding partners of course, and I can understand why you might have thought they were "just being nice" but you have to trust them on that - on the occasions it's happened to me I couldn't have hoped for more understanding people who were more than happy to carry on and have a good time in other ways until I was "ready" again "
This.
I think that it's easy to think of P in V as the be all of sex but it really isn't and there's lots that you can do beyond and instead of penetration.
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
I would say it has happened To me both ways
One came to quick, cock in ladies pussy. A few thrusts and I came
Then a few years ago playing in a club I couldn’t get hard for love not money
For me it it is normally tiredness that affects me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thought I was to be ridiculed quite harshly.
Thanks for your kind comments so far.
"
OP you won't be ridiculed for something which happens to many guys.
I am so grateful that you had the courage to share your experience with us as I bet there are men reading this who will now take on board the great advice and support that you're receiving.
If it's any help I have experienced 2 meets with different men over the years and this has happened to them. I never made them feel unwanted and with one just spent all night doing everything other than penetrative sex...and it was totally lovely and very satisfying night.
Her x |
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OP men know their own bodies, they know if they are not feeling 100%.
They know if they may need a blue pill, personally I would suggest a blue pill in a situation where you don’t know the other people involved that well.
However if a blue pill is not what you wish to take then there are lots you can do OP if this happens. Women don’t just want penetration. If you are imaginative in this situation then things won’t seem so bad....
Don’t put yourself through the wringer and feel pressured.
Take care xx |
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By *kagaMan
over a year ago
oxford |
I was on a meet I got quite worked up on the way to her place we soon got naked and as I was licking her fanny I felt myself about to cum I tried to move but it was to late I came all over her tummy
I was angry and disappointed with myself I was looking forward to doggy style which I knew she likes I apologised but could see she was disappointed too I tried to clean her up but she put her knickers back on I got the message |
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"There's a whole lot more you can do apart from cock in vagine.
If a meet couldnt get it up for whatever reason I wouldn't be that bothered, but if they had no imagination/enthusiasm for other ways to play I'd be far more unimpressed.
"
This for me too. |
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"I was on a meet I got quite worked up on the way to her place we soon got naked and as I was licking her fanny I felt myself about to cum I tried to move but it was to late I came all over her tummy
I was angry and disappointed with myself I was looking forward to doggy style which I knew she likes I apologised but could see she was disappointed too I tried to clean her up but she put her knickers back on I got the message"
Am I strange that I'd find it immensely hot if a guy got turned on enough just from going down on me that he cum? |
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"I was on a meet I got quite worked up on the way to her place we soon got naked and as I was licking her fanny I felt myself about to cum I tried to move but it was to late I came all over her tummy
I was angry and disappointed with myself I was looking forward to doggy style which I knew she likes I apologised but could see she was disappointed too I tried to clean her up but she put her knickers back on I got the message"
The word ‘fanny’ is not impressive! |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I was on a meet I got quite worked up on the way to her place we soon got naked and as I was licking her fanny I felt myself about to cum I tried to move but it was to late I came all over her tummy
I was angry and disappointed with myself I was looking forward to doggy style which I knew she likes I apologised but could see she was disappointed too I tried to clean her up but she put her knickers back on I got the message
The word ‘fanny’ is not impressive! "
Is it really any different from "pussy", "foof" or any number of other words for it that are used regularly round here? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was on a meet I got quite worked up on the way to her place we soon got naked and as I was licking her fanny I felt myself about to cum I tried to move but it was to late I came all over her tummy
I was angry and disappointed with myself I was looking forward to doggy style which I knew she likes I apologised but could see she was disappointed too I tried to clean her up but she put her knickers back on I got the message
The word ‘fanny’ is not impressive! "
A bloke is opening up trying to be considerate and is annoyed with himself and you pick that out, jeez ?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Confession time..
Looking forward to a meet , anticipation,excitement etc etc etc..
Lovely persons who I met.
Wonderfull company, felt comfortable straight away.
Conversation began to get racy... touching feeling.
Before we new it all on top the bed.
Earth swallow me up , the little fella was only going to allow just the once .
Just could,nt get the thing going again..!! Waited ,chatted, tried more gentle fore play....
It was if the signals from the brain were just not going south.
The other persons were joking around making light of it.
Felt so bad as I felt I,d ruined there fun.
Think they just did,nt want to hurt my feeling and being polite to there credit.
Not going to be this way for quite sometime.
I doubt they,d be to upset with that.
I could leave quick enough.
Maybe age has finally caught up with us....
"
Sounds like you put far too much pressure on yourself.
And if you were my meet I certainly wouldn't want to make you feel bad.
Had this happen to a guy I met, he was mortified but it's no big deal, I was more worried about not being enough so we reassured each other
Last thing I'd want is for someone to feel bad.
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"I was on a meet I got quite worked up on the way to her place we soon got naked and as I was licking her fanny I felt myself about to cum I tried to move but it was to late I came all over her tummy
I was angry and disappointed with myself I was looking forward to doggy style which I knew she likes I apologised but could see she was disappointed too I tried to clean her up but she put her knickers back on I got the message
The word ‘fanny’ is not impressive!
Is it really any different from "pussy", "foof" or any number of other words for it that are used regularly round here? "
It’s not for you or any others to call me out over my comment. Get back to reading a book! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was on a meet I got quite worked up on the way to her place we soon got naked and as I was licking her fanny I felt myself about to cum I tried to move but it was to late I came all over her tummy
I was angry and disappointed with myself I was looking forward to doggy style which I knew she likes I apologised but could see she was disappointed too I tried to clean her up but she put her knickers back on I got the message
The word ‘fanny’ is not impressive!
Is it really any different from "pussy", "foof" or any number of other words for it that are used regularly round here?
It’s not for you or any others to call me out over my comment. Get back to reading a book! "
But it’s perfectly fine for you to call someone out for using the word ‘fanny’ ?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Confession time..
Looking forward to a meet , anticipation,excitement etc etc etc..
Lovely persons who I met.
Wonderfull company, felt comfortable straight away.
Conversation began to get racy... touching feeling.
Before we new it all on top the bed.
Earth swallow me up , the little fella was only going to allow just the once .
Just could,nt get the thing going again..!! Waited ,chatted, tried more gentle fore play....
It was if the signals from the brain were just not going south.
The other persons were joking around making light of it.
Felt so bad as I felt I,d ruined there fun.
Think they just did,nt want to hurt my feeling and being polite to there credit.
Not going to be this way for quite sometime.
I doubt they,d be to upset with that.
I could leave quick enough.
Maybe age has finally caught up with us....
You're not alone
"
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I was on a meet I got quite worked up on the way to her place we soon got naked and as I was licking her fanny I felt myself about to cum I tried to move but it was to late I came all over her tummy
I was angry and disappointed with myself I was looking forward to doggy style which I knew she likes I apologised but could see she was disappointed too I tried to clean her up but she put her knickers back on I got the message
The word ‘fanny’ is not impressive!
Is it really any different from "pussy", "foof" or any number of other words for it that are used regularly round here?
It’s not for you or any others to call me out over my comment. Get back to reading a book! "
Charmed I'm sure but I'll not derail what has been a very informative and reassuring thread any further by taking further issue over what is effectively your objection to one word being used and whether this thread was the appropriate place to do so. |
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"I was on a meet I got quite worked up on the way to her place we soon got naked and as I was licking her fanny I felt myself about to cum I tried to move but it was to late I came all over her tummy
I was angry and disappointed with myself I was looking forward to doggy style which I knew she likes I apologised but could see she was disappointed too I tried to clean her up but she put her knickers back on I got the message
The word ‘fanny’ is not impressive! "
I've got one and I call it my fanny. I also call it my cunt, my gash, my fanjo, my minge, my chuff, my poontang, my fandango, my tuna tunnel and when I'm on my period it's my axe wound. I know you love it when I talk about my womb lining falling out my axe wound like a volcano that's just gone boom. It's not disrespectful at all.
Disrespectful or impolite would have been describing her lady bits in a derogatory manner, and he most certainly did not.
People in different parts of the country use different dialect, such is life.
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By *kagaMan
over a year ago
oxford |
"I was on a meet I got quite worked up on the way to her place we soon got naked and as I was licking her fanny I felt myself about to cum I tried to move but it was to late I came all over her tummy
I was angry and disappointed with myself I was looking forward to doggy style which I knew she likes I apologised but could see she was disappointed too I tried to clean her up but she put her knickers back on I got the message
Am I strange that I'd find it immensely hot if a guy got turned on enough just from going down on me that he cum? "
Thanks for that perhaps a few kind words and a bit of understanding I would have been ready to go again but her face said it all and trying to clean her up just made it worse |
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By *kagaMan
over a year ago
oxford |
"I was on a meet I got quite worked up on the way to her place we soon got naked and as I was licking her fanny I felt myself about to cum I tried to move but it was to late I came all over her tummy
I was angry and disappointed with myself I was looking forward to doggy style which I knew she likes I apologised but could see she was disappointed too I tried to clean her up but she put her knickers back on I got the message
Am I strange that I'd find it immensely hot if a guy got turned on enough just from going down on me that he cum?
Thanks for that perhaps a few kind words and a bit of understanding I would have been ready to go again but her face said it all and trying to clean her up just made it worse "
Or perhaps she looked at like that because I said her Fanny tasted so good ?? |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I was on a meet I got quite worked up on the way to her place we soon got naked and as I was licking her fanny I felt myself about to cum I tried to move but it was to late I came all over her tummy
I was angry and disappointed with myself I was looking forward to doggy style which I knew she likes I apologised but could see she was disappointed too I tried to clean her up but she put her knickers back on I got the message
Am I strange that I'd find it immensely hot if a guy got turned on enough just from going down on me that he cum?
Thanks for that perhaps a few kind words and a bit of understanding I would have been ready to go again but her face said it all and trying to clean her up just made it worse
Or perhaps she looked at like that because I said her Fanny tasted so good ??"
I wouldn't let it play on your mind to be honest - whichever way you look at it you just weren't a good match for each other - trying an analyse it will only play to any anxieties you may have.
These things happen and ultimately you just have to chalk them down to experience and try to move on.
Sorry that she treated you that way though - all comes back to what I said further up about the difference between an understanding partner and one who is not so understanding |
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By *sm81Couple
over a year ago
warwickshire |
"Confession time..
Looking forward to a meet , anticipation,excitement etc etc etc..
Lovely persons who I met.
Wonderfull company, felt comfortable straight away.
Conversation began to get racy... touching feeling.
Before we new it all on top the bed.
Earth swallow me up , the little fella was only going to allow just the once .
Just could,nt get the thing going again..!! Waited ,chatted, tried more gentle fore play....
It was if the signals from the brain were just not going south.
The other persons were joking around making light of it.
Felt so bad as I felt I,d ruined there fun.
Think they just did,nt want to hurt my feeling and being polite to there credit.
Not going to be this way for quite sometime.
I doubt they,d be to upset with that.
I could leave quick enough.
Maybe age has finally caught up with us....
"
Theres nothing wrong with just once  |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
So for me a lot of it is knowing your own body
For example if I am going to a club I may have a tatical wank a few hours beforehand if I haven’t been to a club for a while, and not tired
If I have been regularly say3 times in a week, tired because I ha e been traveling I may take a blue pill
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You got an erection so that obviously works. You can’t be hard if not aroused (even with a blue pill)and you wasn’t. Maybe this was their technique or ability to turn you on or maybe it was simply you putting pressure upon yourself and the anxiety took over and that took over from being aroused.
Also Experience means you did it right the first time.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was on a meet I got quite worked up on the way to her place we soon got naked and as I was licking her fanny I felt myself about to cum I tried to move but it was to late I came all over her tummy
I was angry and disappointed with myself I was looking forward to doggy style which I knew she likes I apologised but could see she was disappointed too I tried to clean her up but she put her knickers back on I got the message
The word ‘fanny’ is not impressive!
I've got one and I call it my fanny. I also call it my cunt, my gash, my fanjo, my minge, my chuff, my poontang, my fandango, my tuna tunnel and when I'm on my period it's my axe wound. I know you love it when I talk about my womb lining falling out my axe wound like a volcano that's just gone boom. It's not disrespectful at all.
Disrespectful or impolite would have been describing her lady bits in a derogatory manner, and he most certainly did not.
People in different parts of the country use different dialect, such is life.
"
Brilliant |
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"So for me a lot of it is knowing your own body
For example if I am going to a club I may have a tatical wank a few hours beforehand if I haven’t been to a club for a while, and not tired
If I have been regularly say3 times in a week, tired because I ha e been traveling I may take a blue pill
"
Exactly this. Men know their own minds and bodies and it’s about knowing yourself so well so that you can plan for such issues. Personally this has happened a lot to me in clubs with guys going soft or not getting hard and it’s happened on meets too with my FWB present and it can be infuriating for the lady too, not just the man. |
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"I was on a meet I got quite worked up on the way to her place we soon got naked and as I was licking her fanny I felt myself about to cum I tried to move but it was to late I came all over her tummy
I was angry and disappointed with myself I was looking forward to doggy style which I knew she likes I apologised but could see she was disappointed too I tried to clean her up but she put her knickers back on I got the message
Am I strange that I'd find it immensely hot if a guy got turned on enough just from going down on me that he cum?
Thanks for that perhaps a few kind words and a bit of understanding I would have been ready to go again but her face said it all and trying to clean her up just made it worse
Or perhaps she looked at like that because I said her Fanny tasted so good ??"
Guess what? If she did take offence to the use of the word fanny (and believe me, some people would find offence in a fence because it sounds similar) then that's her issue. You know what she should have done if that was the case? Fucking told ya beforehand. I can't stand the word panties, guess what I do? Let people know. You're no mind reader so it's her responsibility to inform you of likes and dislikes.
Stop beating yourself up about it, sounds like she was a shitty person from your side of things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Confession time..
Looking forward to a meet , anticipation,excitement etc etc etc..
Lovely persons who I met.
Wonderfull company, felt comfortable straight away.
Conversation began to get racy... touching feeling.
Before we new it all on top the bed.
Earth swallow me up , the little fella was only going to allow just the once .
Just could,nt get the thing going again..!! Waited ,chatted, tried more gentle fore play....
It was if the signals from the brain were just not going south.
The other persons were joking around making light of it.
Felt so bad as I felt I,d ruined there fun.
Think they just did,nt want to hurt my feeling and being polite to there credit.
Not going to be this way for quite sometime.
I doubt they,d be to upset with that.
I could leave quick enough.
Maybe age has finally caught up with us....
"
Nothing to be embarrassed about really It’s probably nerves Relax! don’t get over excited Take your time |
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"So for me a lot of it is knowing your own body
For example if I am going to a club I may have a tatical wank a few hours beforehand if I haven’t been to a club for a while, and not tired
If I have been regularly say3 times in a week, tired because I ha e been traveling I may take a blue pill
Exactly this. Men know their own minds and bodies and it’s about knowing yourself so well so that you can plan for such issues. Personally this has happened a lot to me in clubs with guys going soft or not getting hard and it’s happened on meets too with my FWB present and it can be infuriating for the lady too, not just the man. "
Oh come on. Everyone has a first time "fail" and you're laying all the responsibility on the man. I'd suggest if this is happening regularly in your company it might not be the man that's the issue. Could possibly be that you're attitude is making them uncomfortable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was on a meet I got quite worked up on the way to her place we soon got naked and as I was licking her fanny I felt myself about to cum I tried to move but it was to late I came all over her tummy
I was angry and disappointed with myself I was looking forward to doggy style which I knew she likes I apologised but could see she was disappointed too I tried to clean her up but she put her knickers back on I got the message
Am I strange that I'd find it immensely hot if a guy got turned on enough just from going down on me that he cum?
Thanks for that perhaps a few kind words and a bit of understanding I would have been ready to go again but her face said it all and trying to clean her up just made it worse
Or perhaps she looked at like that because I said her Fanny tasted so good ??
Guess what? If she did take offence to the use of the word fanny (and believe me, some people would find offence in a fence because it sounds similar) then that's her issue. You know what she should have done if that was the case? Fucking told ya beforehand. I can't stand the word panties, guess what I do? Let people know. You're no mind reader so it's her responsibility to inform you of likes and dislikes.
Stop beating yourself up about it, sounds like she was a shitty person from your side of things."
I’m with you on panties, also wifey, fanny is fine though.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You got an erection so that obviously works. You can’t be hard if not aroused (even with a blue pill)and you wasn’t. Maybe this was their technique or ability to turn you on or maybe it was simply you putting pressure upon yourself and the anxiety took over and that took over from being aroused.
Also Experience means you did it right the first time. "
Makes good sense ^ |
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"So for me a lot of it is knowing your own body
For example if I am going to a club I may have a tatical wank a few hours beforehand if I haven’t been to a club for a while, and not tired
If I have been regularly say3 times in a week, tired because I ha e been traveling I may take a blue pill
Exactly this. Men know their own minds and bodies and it’s about knowing yourself so well so that you can plan for such issues. Personally this has happened a lot to me in clubs with guys going soft or not getting hard and it’s happened on meets too with my FWB present and it can be infuriating for the lady too, not just the man.
Oh come on. Everyone has a first time "fail" and you're laying all the responsibility on the man. I'd suggest if this is happening regularly in your company it might not be the man that's the issue. Could possibly be that you're attitude is making them uncomfortable. "
I’m not laying it all on the man. As I said before men know their own bodies and minds so if they are going to be in a situation where 1) another guy is present, 2) it’s a first meet, 3) not using certain words that can offend, then these situations can be planned for. Women have feelings too you know. This is a forum where all are allowed to voice their views. If you wish to read it as negative then that’s not my problem. |
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Definitely don’t let it get you down o/p. It happens to every guy at sometime and if they say it hasn’t there definitely lying. If your not feeling comfortable or the women doesn’t turn you on it’s definitely not going to work. End of day where not robots. Like they say get back on the bike and sure be all ok next time |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"So for me a lot of it is knowing your own body
For example if I am going to a club I may have a tatical wank a few hours beforehand if I haven’t been to a club for a while, and not tired
If I have been regularly say3 times in a week, tired because I ha e been traveling I may take a blue pill
Exactly this. Men know their own minds and bodies and it’s about knowing yourself so well so that you can plan for such issues. Personally this has happened a lot to me in clubs with guys going soft or not getting hard and it’s happened on meets too with my FWB present and it can be infuriating for the lady too, not just the man.
Oh come on. Everyone has a first time "fail" and you're laying all the responsibility on the man. I'd suggest if this is happening regularly in your company it might not be the man that's the issue. Could possibly be that you're attitude is making them uncomfortable.
I’m not laying it all on the man. As I said before men know their own bodies and minds so if they are going to be in a situation where 1) another guy is present, 2) it’s a first meet, 3) not using certain words that can offend, then these situations can be planned for. Women have feelings too you know. This is a forum where all are allowed to voice their views. If you wish to read it as negative then that’s not my problem. "
Unless those views are questioning your objection to a word it seems:
"Is it really any different from "pussy", "foof" or any number of other words for it that are used regularly round here? "
It’s not for you or any others to call me out over my comment. Get back to reading a book! "
As for "planning" for anything - let me tell you as a man that knows his own body very well, that whilst yes there *are* things you can do to help the situation, they are no guarantee and limit any "planning" to a large extent - regardless of any steps you take what will happen will happen.
Also the fact that some people, you included, would find it "infuriating" (your word not mine) if a guy had performance issues, doesn't help provide reassurance or confidence again regardless of any planning and absolutely *does* sound like you're laying the problem at the feet of the guys.
One of the keys to any ED or PE problem is a partner who is understanding and reassuring - someone who would find it "infuriating" is neither of those things. |
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"So for me a lot of it is knowing your own body
For example if I am going to a club I may have a tatical wank a few hours beforehand if I haven’t been to a club for a while, and not tired
If I have been regularly say3 times in a week, tired because I ha e been traveling I may take a blue pill
Exactly this. Men know their own minds and bodies and it’s about knowing yourself so well so that you can plan for such issues. Personally this has happened a lot to me in clubs with guys going soft or not getting hard and it’s happened on meets too with my FWB present and it can be infuriating for the lady too, not just the man.
Oh come on. Everyone has a first time "fail" and you're laying all the responsibility on the man. I'd suggest if this is happening regularly in your company it might not be the man that's the issue. Could possibly be that you're attitude is making them uncomfortable.
I’m not laying it all on the man. As I said before men know their own bodies and minds so if they are going to be in a situation where 1) another guy is present, 2) it’s a first meet, 3) not using certain words that can offend, then these situations can be planned for. Women have feelings too you know. This is a forum where all are allowed to voice their views. If you wish to read it as negative then that’s not my problem.
Unless those views are questioning your objection to a word it seems:
Is it really any different from "pussy", "foof" or any number of other words for it that are used regularly round here? "
It’s not for you or any others to call me out over my comment. Get back to reading a book!
As for "planning" for anything - let me tell you as a man that knows his own body very well, that whilst yes there *are* things you can do to help the situation, they are no guarantee and limit any "planning" to a large extent - regardless of any steps you take what will happen will happen.
Also the fact that some people, you included, would find it "infuriating" (your word not mine) if a guy had performance issues, doesn't help provide reassurance or confidence again regardless of any planning and absolutely *does* sound like you're laying the problem at the feet of the guys.
One of the keys to any ED or PE problem is a partner who is understanding and reassuring - someone who would find it "infuriating" is neither of those things."
I’m definitely not laying the problem at the feet of the guys. I’m merely making my point which is what the forums are about and I am entitled to do that. You read a comment that is against your views and you then slate and argue with the writer about it.
Yes we can ‘plan’ but this seems to be a regular occurrence with lots of men. Remember we are on a sexually charged site, we are going to sexually charged clubs. It’s difficult for men and women which is what I meant. I’m honest and straight to the point. I don’t like certain words being used for my vagina which ultimately turn me off! I’m not wrong though about some women feeling infuriated which the poster who calls vagina’s fanny’s his lady obviously was. If my words upset you then pass them by. I’m entitled to my opinion. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"
One of the keys to any ED or PE problem is a partner who is understanding and reassuring - someone who would find it "infuriating" is neither of those things.
I’m definitely not laying the problem at the feet of the guys. I’m merely making my point which is what the forums are about and I am entitled to do that. You read a comment that is against your views and you then slate and argue with the writer about it.
Yes we can ‘plan’ but this seems to be a regular occurrence with lots of men. Remember we are on a sexually charged site, we are going to sexually charged clubs. It’s difficult for men and women which is what I meant. I’m honest and straight to the point. I don’t like certain words being used for my vagina which ultimately turn me off! I’m not wrong though about some women feeling infuriated which the poster who calls vagina’s fanny’s his lady obviously was. If my words upset you then pass them by. I’m entitled to my opinion. "
And just as you are entitled to do so, so am I, and I haven't "slated" you in the slightest, unless of course you consider a different opinion and yours being challenged (which is what ultimately debate and forums are about) being "slated" in which case I make no apology for it.
Your words don't upset me in the slightest, more intrigue me as to why, by your own admission, you think that finding a guy with performance issues "infuriating"? And can't see that that would be seen, as it clearly has by at least two of us, as laying the problem at the guys feet?
Finding it "infuriating" isn't going to help the situation, and the site and clubs being "sexually charged" has little relevance, being understanding and reassuring on both sides, finding other things to do that are just as pleasurable for both people will however help and can lead to a fantastic time being had by all.
To put it another way, if you had a sexual problem that prevented a particular aspect of sex, but allowed others, would a guy be right to find it "infuriating" or would you be calling him entitled? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP i think majority of guys go through this and i know i have in the past. As someone mentioned about, it got hard, so the problem isnt a physical one.
If it turns into a mental block it can become tough to over come! So try to write it off and go again! Guys recovery times vary as well, some guys can go again quick, others take time.
Chill and become more imaginative that its not all about penetration |
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"
One of the keys to any ED or PE problem is a partner who is understanding and reassuring - someone who would find it "infuriating" is neither of those things.
I’m definitely not laying the problem at the feet of the guys. I’m merely making my point which is what the forums are about and I am entitled to do that. You read a comment that is against your views and you then slate and argue with the writer about it.
Yes we can ‘plan’ but this seems to be a regular occurrence with lots of men. Remember we are on a sexually charged site, we are going to sexually charged clubs. It’s difficult for men and women which is what I meant. I’m honest and straight to the point. I don’t like certain words being used for my vagina which ultimately turn me off! I’m not wrong though about some women feeling infuriated which the poster who calls vagina’s fanny’s his lady obviously was. If my words upset you then pass them by. I’m entitled to my opinion.
And just as you are entitled to do so, so am I, and I haven't "slated" you in the slightest, unless of course you consider a different opinion and yours being challenged (which is what ultimately debate and forums are about) being "slated" in which case I make no apology for it.
Yes you are entitled to your own opinion. It’s a different view to mine but that’s what the forums are about.
Your words don't upset me in the slightest, more intrigue me as to why, by your own admission, you think that finding a guy with performance issues "infuriating"? And can't see that that would be seen, as it clearly has by at least two of us, as laying the problem at the guys feet?
I said the situation can be infuriating for the lady, especially if the guy has offered no other way to satisfy the lady. No idea why you are ‘intrigued’ by my words.
Finding it "infuriating" isn't going to help the situation, and the site and clubs being "sexually charged" has little relevance, being understanding and reassuring on both sides, finding other things to do that are just as pleasurable for both people will however help and can lead to a fantastic time being had by all.
To put it another way, if you had a sexual problem that prevented a particular aspect of sex, but allowed others, would a guy be right to find it "infuriating" or would you be calling him entitled? "
No if a guy was ‘infuriated’ by a sexual problem then he is entitled to feel that as am I.
We are taking over the thread with your argumentative tone and I apologise to the OP for that. I will not be answering any more of your argumentative comments. |
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Happened to me on a first meet for an overnight stay. I came once but couldn’t get hard again.
It’s important not to put pressure on yourself, or more pressure. We laughed about it and I got on with pleasuring her in many other ways.
She said she’d never had that many orgasms in so many different ways...and it earn’t me a return visit where everything has been working fine.
It turned the meet into something unique.
It’s about turning a negative very much into a positive.
There are many many ways to play without using your cock... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
OP, I had the privilege of meeting a girl years ago in the vanilla world. She was gorgeous inside and out. And we had such a connection. We decided after a couple of dates to stay in a hotel. We both had families and it felt right to have neutral ground.
I was so nervous I couldn’t perform. Then it was a snowball. I started berating myself, internally torturing myself. I thought I could feel her disappointment and it made it worse. It was in my head. She was lovely. Relaxed me. Made me feel at ease and we did other things. After I relaxed and we found that relaxed fun point, it was ok. Just needed a reset. Ironically It has only happened again once since. And double irony with the same lady. This time my feelings for her got in the way of what she wanted/needed at that point in time.
My point being it’s a natural thing to happen. And no matter what anyone says on here it happens to us all at some point or another and there is not necessarily a reason. The mind is the most powerful sexual organ both ways on and off!
C |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Definitely don’t let it get you down o/p. It happens to every guy at sometime and if they say it hasn’t there definitely lying. If your not feeling comfortable or the women doesn’t turn you on it’s definitely not going to work. End of day where not robots. Like they say get back on the bike and sure be all ok next time "
Back on the bike  |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
"So for me a lot of it is knowing your own body
For example if I am going to a club I may have a tatical wank a few hours beforehand if I haven’t been to a club for a while, and not tired
If I have been regularly say3 times in a week, tired because I ha e been traveling I may take a blue pill
Exactly this. Men know their own minds and bodies and it’s about knowing yourself so well so that you can plan for such issues. Personally this has happened a lot to me in clubs with guys going soft or not getting hard and it’s happened on meets too with my FWB present and it can be infuriating for the lady too, not just the man. "
Though blue pills give me a raging headache when I have taken them in the past - so I have to make sure I drink enough water to compensate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would I be bothered by it myself? No.
I'd be concerned if the guy couldn't leave quick enough. I'd be sad I'd not made him feel comfortable enough to be at ease with the situation."
Yeah this.
I get the female version. My sex mojo can disappear mid shag for no reason at all and then it's really difficult trying to fake that I'm still into it.  |
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Fellas.
Take a seat and listen up.
How many times do you hear women say "we're not performing seals"?
Fucking loads.
Guess what hombre, neither are you. This shit works BOTH ways.
If people want a walking, talking dildo then it's down to them to invent one. Simple as that.
I'm really sorry to the menfolk who have felt pressured.
Now, we are aware our bodies sometimes "misbehave". As a woman who still produces the red river of doom on a monthly basis, I'm well aware sometimes the human body acts like one of the animals on "It'll be alright on the night".... we all know that means IT WON'T!.
Sometimes I come on when I shouldn't, like out of fucking nowhere. Will I take Norestherone for it just in case? Hell fucking no. I know full well if I take those tablets to delay auntie flow, when she does arrive I'm gonna be curled up in a ball on the floor praying for death.
Taking meds shouldn't be EXPECTED of anyone.
Meds have side effects. If you're cool with that then crack the fuck on, but if you're not then don't feel pressured to.
You're not a fuck-toy, you're a human being.... we all are.
Know you're damn worth and don't be bullied or shamed into ANYTHING |
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"Fellas.
Take a seat and listen up.
How many times do you hear women say "we're not performing seals"?
Fucking loads.
Guess what hombre, neither are you. This shit works BOTH ways.
If people want a walking, talking dildo then it's down to them to invent one. Simple as that.
I'm really sorry to the menfolk who have felt pressured.
Now, we are aware our bodies sometimes "misbehave". As a woman who still produces the red river of doom on a monthly basis, I'm well aware sometimes the human body acts like one of the animals on "It'll be alright on the night".... we all know that means IT WON'T!.
Sometimes I come on when I shouldn't, like out of fucking nowhere. Will I take Norestherone for it just in case? Hell fucking no. I know full well if I take those tablets to delay auntie flow, when she does arrive I'm gonna be curled up in a ball on the floor praying for death.
Taking meds shouldn't be EXPECTED of anyone.
Meds have side effects. If you're cool with that then crack the fuck on, but if you're not then don't feel pressured to.
You're not a fuck-toy, you're a human being.... we all are.
Know you're damn worth and don't be bullied or shamed into ANYTHING "
All. Of. This  |
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"Fellas.
Take a seat and listen up.
How many times do you hear women say "we're not performing seals"?
Fucking loads.
Guess what hombre, neither are you. This shit works BOTH ways.
If people want a walking, talking dildo then it's down to them to invent one. Simple as that.
I'm really sorry to the menfolk who have felt pressured.
Now, we are aware our bodies sometimes "misbehave". As a woman who still produces the red river of doom on a monthly basis, I'm well aware sometimes the human body acts like one of the animals on "It'll be alright on the night".... we all know that means IT WON'T!.
Sometimes I come on when I shouldn't, like out of fucking nowhere. Will I take Norestherone for it just in case? Hell fucking no. I know full well if I take those tablets to delay auntie flow, when she does arrive I'm gonna be curled up in a ball on the floor praying for death.
Taking meds shouldn't be EXPECTED of anyone.
Meds have side effects. If you're cool with that then crack the fuck on, but if you're not then don't feel pressured to.
You're not a fuck-toy, you're a human being.... we all are.
Know you're damn worth and don't be bullied or shamed into ANYTHING "
Spot on ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Fellas.
Take a seat and listen up.
How many times do you hear women say "we're not performing seals"?
Fucking loads.
Guess what hombre, neither are you. This shit works BOTH ways.
If people want a walking, talking dildo then it's down to them to invent one. Simple as that.
I'm really sorry to the menfolk who have felt pressured.
Now, we are aware our bodies sometimes "misbehave". As a woman who still produces the red river of doom on a monthly basis, I'm well aware sometimes the human body acts like one of the animals on "It'll be alright on the night".... we all know that means IT WON'T!.
Sometimes I come on when I shouldn't, like out of fucking nowhere. Will I take Norestherone for it just in case? Hell fucking no. I know full well if I take those tablets to delay auntie flow, when she does arrive I'm gonna be curled up in a ball on the floor praying for death.
Taking meds shouldn't be EXPECTED of anyone.
Meds have side effects. If you're cool with that then crack the fuck on, but if you're not then don't feel pressured to.
You're not a fuck-toy, you're a human being.... we all are.
Know you're damn worth and don't be bullied or shamed into ANYTHING "
Absolutely spot on peach |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Fellas.
Take a seat and listen up.
How many times do you hear women say "we're not performing seals"?
Fucking loads.
Guess what hombre, neither are you. This shit works BOTH ways.
If people want a walking, talking dildo then it's down to them to invent one. Simple as that.
I'm really sorry to the menfolk who have felt pressured.
Now, we are aware our bodies sometimes "misbehave". As a woman who still produces the red river of doom on a monthly basis, I'm well aware sometimes the human body acts like one of the animals on "It'll be alright on the night".... we all know that means IT WON'T!.
Sometimes I come on when I shouldn't, like out of fucking nowhere. Will I take Norestherone for it just in case? Hell fucking no. I know full well if I take those tablets to delay auntie flow, when she does arrive I'm gonna be curled up in a ball on the floor praying for death.
Taking meds shouldn't be EXPECTED of anyone.
Meds have side effects. If you're cool with that then crack the fuck on, but if you're not then don't feel pressured to.
You're not a fuck-toy, you're a human being.... we all are.
Know you're damn worth and don't be bullied or shamed into ANYTHING "
Amen to that
Guys ignore those that make you feel bad, accept it happens, don't be fooled into thinking every other guy performs on demand and it's only you - because it isn't.
I've stated before in this thread and others that I'm not without my shortcomings and anxieties about both PE and ED, both of which I've suffered from at times and you know what? I've still had a fantastic time, still walked away with both of us smiling and wanting to do it again.
The only pressure is the pressure we apply to ourselves, and that which those who are in it for themselves put us under.
I'm not ashamed to admit I can't always get hard straight away or for a second time, or that sometimes I last seconds flat and have always been upfront about it and 99% of the time have been told not to worry about it and that we'll have a good time whatever happens and when you can get your head into that space I guarantee you'll walk away smiling too |
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This is completely natural..i think all men on this thread has experianced something like this..it can be overwhelming..meeting a gorgeous woman or in a couple its a daunting thing..
Ladies Please dont EVER think its you..this plays mind tricks more than anything in this kind of situation..once thats there..dead in the water..
Touch wood (no pun intended) ive always been made to feel welcome by the people ive met..The company your in and the feel good factor comes from both parties..its not always a blue pill option..Its all a mental thing..
In relationships in the past the “whats wrong, its me! You dont find me attractive” starts allsorts of head fucking..all in all id round this up by saying the company your in and how your treated can be the best thing..being made fun of makes the situation a million times worse..remember we all feel pressure..its how you deal with it |
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The whole meet was so bizzare it nearly put me & my ex off swinging there and then!
