FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Stood up
Stood up
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’d hunt them down and break in and clean the toilet with their toothbrush! And I’m not even joking!
Break in where though?
I’d find them 
Is your surname 'Neeson'?  "
They call me Gemma Teller |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I got stood up by a guy from here once. We were meant to go for lunch but he never showed up.
I had lunch by myself because I was already there and starving. Turned my message filters on, discovered the forums whilst I was having my solo lunch and I’ve enjoyed Fab a lot more because of it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mary give me everything you know. I’ll get my people on it.
Nora's detective services are available"
Damn right! In all seriousness I’d have the right fucking arse if someone did that to me! I wouldn’t dream of doing that. Why do people do it?!! Knobs |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"I’d hunt them down and break in and clean the toilet with their toothbrush! And I’m not even joking!
Break in where though?
I’d find them
Is your surname 'Neeson'?
They call me Gemma Teller "
I can see the similarities.
Phwaor |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"Mary give me everything you know. I’ll get my people on it.
Nora's detective services are available
Damn right! In all seriousness I’d have the right fucking arse if someone did that to me! I wouldn’t dream of doing that. Why do people do it?!! Knobs "
I have no idea. I couldn't do it either.
On the subject of 'fucking arse'........ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mary give me everything you know. I’ll get my people on it.
Nora's detective services are available
Damn right! In all seriousness I’d have the right fucking arse if someone did that to me! I wouldn’t dream of doing that. Why do people do it?!! Knobs
I have no idea. I couldn't do it either.
On the subject of 'fucking arse'........"
  . Everyone knows I don’t do that! |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"Mary give me everything you know. I’ll get my people on it.
Nora's detective services are available
Damn right! In all seriousness I’d have the right fucking arse if someone did that to me! I wouldn’t dream of doing that. Why do people do it?!! Knobs
I have no idea. I couldn't do it either.
On the subject of 'fucking arse'........
. Everyone knows I don’t do that! "
I do now. Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Mary give me everything you know. I’ll get my people on it.
Nora's detective services are available
Damn right! In all seriousness I’d have the right fucking arse if someone did that to me! I wouldn’t dream of doing that. Why do people do it?!! Knobs
I have no idea. I couldn't do it either.
On the subject of 'fucking arse'........
. Everyone knows I don’t do that!
I do now. Lol"
Wait. Are we talking mine or yours here? |
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"Mary give me everything you know. I’ll get my people on it.
Nora's detective services are available
Damn right! In all seriousness I’d have the right fucking arse if someone did that to me! I wouldn’t dream of doing that. Why do people do it?!! Knobs
I have no idea. I couldn't do it either.
On the subject of 'fucking arse'........
. Everyone knows I don’t do that!
I do now. Lol
Wait. Are we talking mine or yours here?"
Ouch! |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"Mary give me everything you know. I’ll get my people on it.
Nora's detective services are available
Damn right! In all seriousness I’d have the right fucking arse if someone did that to me! I wouldn’t dream of doing that. Why do people do it?!! Knobs
I have no idea. I couldn't do it either.
On the subject of 'fucking arse'........
. Everyone knows I don’t do that!
I do now. Lol
Wait. Are we talking mine or yours here?"
everyone knows i don't do that! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I find it infuriating, because it takes a lot of planning for us to be free. "
It takes a lot for me to meet someone. So when I get stood up it makes me doubt myself. Confidence goes to zero |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"hey guys and gals. I've been stood up a couple of times for social meets. How do you all deal with it?
Move on xxx"
I am just wondered how everyone else deals with it |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
On a serious note OP - its not a nice thing. I've had it happen a few times and it feels like a real kick in the nuts, but we live to fight in and if they didn't turn up then they didn't deserve you anyway. |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"hey guys and gals. I've been stood up a couple of times for social meets. How do you all deal with it?
Move on xxx
I am just wondered how everyone else deals with it "
I wouldn't be happy if I got all glamorous and was stood up x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"hey guys and gals. I've been stood up a couple of times for social meets. How do you all deal with it?
Move on xxx
I am just wondered how everyone else deals with it "
Sorry I joked etc. It is shit. Don’t let it knock your confidence lovely. See it as a lucky escape. Move on and the next one could be lovely xx |
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I wasn’t stood up but was ghosted after a night out not that long ago which was ridiculous considering we actually got on really well.. I told him by message how shit it was to be treated in such a disrespectful way and how crap it makes others feel. I since got an explanation and apology and we are now friends. Sometimes humans are just daft and occasionally it’s their own self confidence that makes them behave badly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wasn’t stood up but was ghosted after a night out not that long ago which was ridiculous considering we actually got on really well.. I told him by message how shit it was to be treated in such a disrespectful way and how crap it makes others feel. I since got an explanation and apology and we are now friends. Sometimes humans are just daft and occasionally it’s their own self confidence that makes them behave badly. "
Yeah, sometimes things get all messed up. I met a girl and we had sex and afterwards she texted me to say how was it. I was playing it cool and said I had no complaints. I didn't want to come on too strong. She then ghosted me and was a bit miffed for a while. I met her again not so long ago and she was really miffed at me. I confronted her and said that if anyone should be annoyed it was me. She said that I was disrespectful in answering her message. Just goes to show. |
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"I wasn’t stood up but was ghosted after a night out not that long ago which was ridiculous considering we actually got on really well.. I told him by message how shit it was to be treated in such a disrespectful way and how crap it makes others feel. I since got an explanation and apology and we are now friends. Sometimes humans are just daft and occasionally it’s their own self confidence that makes them behave badly.
Yeah, sometimes things get all messed up. I met a girl and we had sex and afterwards she texted me to say how was it. I was playing it cool and said I had no complaints. I didn't want to come on too strong. She then ghosted me and was a bit miffed for a while. I met her again not so long ago and she was really miffed at me. I confronted her and said that if anyone should be annoyed it was me. She said that I was disrespectful in answering her message. Just goes to show."
I think we all get it wrong sometimes and unless you push it and ask why things got crap you don’t learn. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I was meeting both these guys in public places. We exchanged pics before hand and chatted for a while. I don't no if they saw me in person and changed their minds or just got kicks from knowing I was waiting for them. |
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"I was meeting both these guys in public places. We exchanged pics before hand and chatted for a while. I don't no if they saw me in person and changed their minds or just got kicks from knowing I was waiting for them. "
Probably low self conference on there part |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's more likely that they were married and got cold feet and couldn't go through with it. I'm sure it was nothing to do with you."
I never thought of that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's more likely that they were married and got cold feet and couldn't go through with it. I'm sure it was nothing to do with you.
I never thought of that"
That's the thing, we blame ourselves. You look beautiful. You'll get lots more meets and they'll go really well and you'll wonder why you were so upset about all this. |
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I now assume I will be cancelled on or stood up when I make social meets. It’s one of the reasons I don’t spend ages getting ready before hand.
I’ve been cancelled, I’ve had them go silent, the worst is when I’m there at the meeting place and they send a message saying they are on way but running late and so I’ve waited for no one.
I think it says more about them then about you OP
And as tough as it is you have to learn to distance yourself from it so that you don’t get as hurt when it happens.
From chats I’ve had with people it happens to men and woman and unfortunately is just part of online meets.
Don’t let it out you off though because you deserve to meet someone great.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Last time I was kinda stood up was about 3 years ago (Only happened twice in my 14ish years on and off fab) so I have a patten that I follow when meeting someone new. I expect them to text me on the day to say it’s still going ahead. Then as they are leaving to meet me and me meet them I’ll text to say setting off and expect the same back.
The one 3 years ago he started acting different the day before the meet. I did the I’m setting off in 10 mins text what time will you be setting off and he read and didn’t reply. Hence I didn’t bother setting off. This works for me because although you have the hassle of getting dressed up your not travelling and stuck at a venue waiting.
It has back fired once he didn’t see my message and was at the pub but I rang him and explained and he waited for me. |
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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago
Nottinghamshire |
Theres normally signs before the meet they go quiet or dont get in touch I always ask on the day to and if they a no show normally they dont respond , dont let it knock your confidence theres alot of timewasters on here |
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Its horrid! Used to come home and cry! Hasent happened in long while but if it does try not to give a second thought! Just move on! And if I've made an arrangement now I need a confirmation txt on the morning of the meet as people back out last minute saves waisting time! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Theres normally signs before the meet they go quiet or dont get in touch I always ask on the day to and if they a no show normally they dont respond , dont let it knock your confidence theres alot of timewasters on here "
 I quit before they do. If I sniff even the slightest sign of them maybe not showing up I just cancel.
OP a lady on here gave her tips many moons ago so credit goes to her not me. She said she arranges socials at a time and place she was going to be anyway. She has a coffee and maybe a cake. If they turn up great. But if they don't it doesn't matter because she's had a nice relaxing break people watching and not wasted her time.
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"Theres normally signs before the meet they go quiet or dont get in touch I always ask on the day to and if they a no show normally they dont respond , dont let it knock your confidence theres alot of timewasters on here
I quit before they do. If I sniff even the slightest sign of them maybe not showing up I just cancel.
OP a lady on here gave her tips many moons ago so credit goes to her not me. She said she arranges socials at a time and place she was going to be anyway. She has a coffee and maybe a cake. If they turn up great. But if they don't it doesn't matter because she's had a nice relaxing break people watching and not wasted her time.
"
Good advice.
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We've been fortunate enough to have never been stood up. We have been ghosted, cancelled on very last minute, had tit for tat cancellations, turned up to find the person on the profiles older, larger and shorter relative  etc.
Don't think of it as a reflection on you rather as a reflection on them. |
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We've only been stood up once, luckily as a couple when we meet for a social we always make sure we have a babysitter and the whole night free so if we are stood up we just use it as a date night.
We never get disheartened by being stood up after all you alcant force anyone do do anything. We completely understand that I you go to meet someone on your own and are stood up it may be a completely different and not a nice situation to be in, especially if you've travelled and are out of your comfort zone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When it happened once, I spoke to a friend whilst waiting for the cold feet mr and we went on having spontaneous social one hour later. 
So replace and forget. No second chances;-) unless you want to stand them up yourself in an act of revenge  |
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It's horrible. I've been ghosted & messed about when I thought things were going really well. Being stood up is unbelievably ignorant. And if I'm being honest it does affect your belief in people on here. |
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I get stood up a LOT on here.
Now on a first social I just assume I'm going to be stood up. I meet somewhere I'm happy to spend time on my own, I make sure I've got something good to read and I turn up and wait. If they turn up then happy days, if they don't turn up I've had some time to myself people-watching and reading, happy days.
It is frustrating because I don't have enough free time to spend on people who are going to mess me around, but it seems to be one of the peculiarities of fab for me. Certainly it happens far more often on here than on any other site I've been on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When it happened once, I spoke to a friend whilst waiting for the cold feet mr and we went on having spontaneous social one hour later.
So replace and forget. No second chances;-) unless you want to stand them up yourself in an act of revenge "
Best revenge is to forgive and move on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't understand why anyone would stand anyone up. Whats the point of spending all that time getting to know someone if you're just gonna stand them up ?
Honestly there is no logic.
I understand things come up at the last minute, and that's ok , as long as you let the other person know.
Agree with most of the folks here - forget about them , they are not worth the time it space |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's more likely that they were married and got cold feet and couldn't go through with it. I'm sure it was nothing to do with you.
I never thought of that
That's the thing, we blame ourselves. You look beautiful. You'll get lots more meets and they'll go really well and you'll wonder why you were so upset about all this. "
A hahaha talk about sucking up, how can you say she looks beautiful when she has no pics up. Lmao.
Anyway OP, your on 6 weeks and had a couple of no shows, ?? you need to review your selection process. Simple
Even as a guy I've never had a no show all down to careful selection.
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By *angerineMan
over a year ago
somewhere inbetween the right and wrong |
On behalf of many of the male population of FAB, may I apologise for the idiots who didn't show.
I hope your next choice decided to actually follow through on his promise to show up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On behalf of many of the male population of FAB, may I apologise for the idiots who didn't show.
I hope your next choice decided to actually follow through on his promise to show up"
No need to speak for me dude , quite happy to speak for myself. So if I guy can't make it to a meet their an idiot. ???
All that is wrong in white knighting right here.  |
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"I was meeting both these guys in public places. We exchanged pics before hand and chatted for a while. I don't no if they saw me in person and changed their minds or just got kicks from knowing I was waiting for them. "
Try not to take it personally. Some people on here like the illicit thrill of messaging & perving & despite arranging to meet, never will.
Maybe married & bottled it when it came down to it getting a bit more real.
Maybe something genuinely happened in their lives that prevented them turning up (rare but possible)
I always arrange socials so that if I'm stood up, I'm still going to be able to do something I enjoy by myself. Even if that's just reading a book in a coffee shop or wondering round a park.
I rarely give the no show a second thought. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just think it’s there loss and it not worth worrying about people like that, just idiots and time wasters they should not be on the site "
I bet if a guy had posted this you wouldn't call the woman an an idiot and ban them from the site, you would have been finding excuses like perhaps an emergency came up like she broke a finger nail or something. Lol
Nothing worse on this site than guys white knighting and slagging off other guys when they don't know the tiniest bit of circumstances of why they never made the meet or whether the OP is being honest or not. Lmao. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't understand why anyone would stand anyone up. Whats the point of spending all that time getting to know someone if you're just gonna stand them up ?
Honestly there is no logic.
I understand things come up at the last minute, and that's ok , as long as you let the other person know.
Agree with most of the folks here - forget about them , they are not worth the time it space "
It's not always OK though, I've just done exactly that, let him know I decided not to meet him and why, suddenly I am now advertising myself as a cheap tart, too old n ugly for him and I was just a 'trophy' anyway... |
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"I don't understand why anyone would stand anyone up. Whats the point of spending all that time getting to know someone if you're just gonna stand them up ?
Honestly there is no logic.
I understand things come up at the last minute, and that's ok , as long as you let the other person know.
Agree with most of the folks here - forget about them , they are not worth the time it space
It's not always OK though, I've just done exactly that, let him know I decided not to meet him and why, suddenly I am now advertising myself as a cheap tart, too old n ugly for him and I was just a 'trophy' anyway... "
Take no notice that's just bitterness because he didnt get what he wanted ! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just think it’s there loss and it not worth worrying about people like that, just idiots and time wasters they should not be on the site
I bet if a guy had posted this you wouldn't call the woman an an idiot and ban them from the site, you would have been finding excuses like perhaps an emergency came up like she broke a finger nail or something. Lol
Nothing worse on this site than guys white knighting and slagging off other guys when they don't know the tiniest bit of circumstances of why they never made the meet or whether the OP is being honest or not. Lmao."
Yep I would and it’s not funny honestly some people haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't understand why anyone would stand anyone up. Whats the point of spending all that time getting to know someone if you're just gonna stand them up ?
Honestly there is no logic.
I understand things come up at the last minute, and that's ok , as long as you let the other person know.
Agree with most of the folks here - forget about them , they are not worth the time it space
It's not always OK though, I've just done exactly that, let him know I decided not to meet him and why, suddenly I am now advertising myself as a cheap tart, too old n ugly for him and I was just a 'trophy' anyway...
Take no notice that's just bitterness because he didnt get what he wanted ! X"
I'm not bothered one bit, was just saying it's not always as simple as just letting them know. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't understand why anyone would stand anyone up. Whats the point of spending all that time getting to know someone if you're just gonna stand them up ?
Honestly there is no logic.
I understand things come up at the last minute, and that's ok , as long as you let the other person know.
Agree with most of the folks here - forget about them , they are not worth the time it space
It's not always OK though, I've just done exactly that, let him know I decided not to meet him and why, suddenly I am now advertising myself as a cheap tart, too old n ugly for him and I was just a 'trophy' anyway... "
Aimee , it is always ok to cancel a meet whether guy or female and to let the other person know why, even if it's as simple a reason as just changing your mind. What's not ok is any type of follow up slagging or abuse.
Some guys on here have given the OPS guys abuse for not turning up even though they know nothing about them. There just as bad as your abuser in my opinion.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't understand why anyone would stand anyone up. Whats the point of spending all that time getting to know someone if you're just gonna stand them up ?
Honestly there is no logic.
I understand things come up at the last minute, and that's ok , as long as you let the other person know.
Agree with most of the folks here - forget about them , they are not worth the time it space
It's not always OK though, I've just done exactly that, let him know I decided not to meet him and why, suddenly I am now advertising myself as a cheap tart, too old n ugly for him and I was just a 'trophy' anyway...
Aimee , it is always ok to cancel a meet whether guy or female and to let the other person know why, even if it's as simple a reason as just changing your mind. What's not ok is any type of follow up slagging or abuse.
Some guys on here have given the OPS guys abuse for not turning up even though they know nothing about them. There just as bad as your abuser in my opinion.
"
Thanks, I'd never just stand someone up, think it's cruel but yea there could be valid reasons though I'd hope they'd get in touch at some point and at least explain. Think there's little credence given to people just losing bottle, not the greatest thing but doesn't make them monsters either. I feel for the OP tho it must be horrible to be left waiting and wondering but guess just best to move on and take note maybe? |
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It happens, who knows what the reasons are, I learnt that if I sent a message and it wasn’t replied to within a few hours of meeting I wouldn’t even bother getting ready let alone leaving the house |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The guy yesterday messaged me saying on the way. Then at the time we were suppose to meet, he txt again saying 2 minutes. It's been a very long 2 minutes lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The guy yesterday messaged me saying on the way. Then at the time we were suppose to meet, he txt again saying 2 minutes. It's been a very long 2 minutes lol"
Mibbie he got eaten by a hungry thing
Has he been back on here? |
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"The guy yesterday messaged me saying on the way. Then at the time we were suppose to meet, he txt again saying 2 minutes. It's been a very long 2 minutes lol"
I had simlar said he was leaving his place which I'd say was a 15 min drive I waited and waited then txt him say where are u he said I'm just parking up and walking up so i sat and waited then the penny dropped! So I txt him saying hope u enjoyed that! And blocked on everything x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The guy yesterday messaged me saying on the way. Then at the time we were suppose to meet, he txt again saying 2 minutes. It's been a very long 2 minutes lol
Mibbie he got eaten by a hungry thing
Has he been back on here? "
Yeah when I came on here to block him he was online |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The guy yesterday messaged me saying on the way. Then at the time we were suppose to meet, he txt again saying 2 minutes. It's been a very long 2 minutes lol
Mibbie he got eaten by a hungry thing
Has he been back on here?
Yeah when I came on here to block him he was online"
In that case maybe he should be eaten by a hungry thing lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to double book socials in a day: one morning, one afternoon. In theory at least one will show and I get to eat double coffee and cake in town and shop a little if not! I like being out of the house regardless.
The key is not to take it personally, they are the lesser person for their poor behaviour. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's more likely that they were married and got cold feet and couldn't go through with it. I'm sure it was nothing to do with you.
I never thought of that
That's the thing, we blame ourselves. You look beautiful. You'll get lots more meets and they'll go really well and you'll wonder why you were so upset about all this.
A hahaha talk about sucking up, how can you say she looks beautiful when she has no pics up. Lmao.
Anyway OP, your on 6 weeks and had a couple of no shows, ?? you need to review your selection process. Simple
Even as a guy I've never had a no show all down to careful selection.
"
She did when I wrote the reply but don't let things like facts get between you and your pursuit of being an arse. |
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