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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Would you stay in a relationship if he couldn’t make you cum during sex?
You two get together, and from the get go he is unable to make you cum. Do you break up with him? Or accept your role as the woman who will only cum by her own hand? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Possibly if he made me feel loved, valued, wanted, desired. If we had chemistry and laughter and affection.
If I had all of those thing's I really wouldn't care about sex |
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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago
Whitley Bay |
I'm poly so if the rest of the relationship was fulfilling it wouldn't really matter. Also, everything can be worked on with good communication. Sexual chemistry is important but a technical issue can be easily sorted. I wouldn't be with anyone in the first place if they weren't open, willing, communicative and up for exploring and enhancing our relationship in all areas.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh sorry.
I think sex is an important part of a relationship
Me too.
But sex is a two way thing. If he did not know how to make you cum then you should teach him."
Definitely  |
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"I'd be happy if that was the only 'issue'. Sex is not important in a relationship.
I think it is. "
So do I. Intimacy needs to be maintained / reinforced or it fades and all you’re left with is a loving friendship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd be happy if that was the only 'issue'. Sex is not important in a relationship.
I think it is.
So do I. Intimacy needs to be maintained / reinforced or it fades and all you’re left with is a loving friendship."
Exactly this. And a loving friendship is hard to let go of x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I very rarely cum from just sex anyway so if everything else was great I would stay yes. Would give us something to work on and if he still wouldnt or couldnt I would consider tying him to a chair and make him watch someone else try 
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Many women know what they want/need that makes them cum. Some women cum easily and others not so... If you start a relationship and everything is good but lacking in this area then surely it's worth working on...talk?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't really believe in the holding off on sex til until the umpteenth date thing, pretty much for this reason. I want to sleep together early on, to get a feel for whether that side clicks, before I even start seriously liking someone. |
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Stayed together for 5 years in this scenario, he was my best friend that spilled into something that we both should have said NO to, we were not sexually compatible, but were too scared to lose the friendship once we started  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sex is not the most important thing but it's more enjoyable with the right person, however it is performed.
Trust, honesty, compassion, empathy the list can go are the most important part of a relationship.
Peace and Love  |
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"I don't really believe in the holding off on sex til until the umpteenth date thing, pretty much for this reason. I want to sleep together early on, to get a feel for whether that side clicks, before I even start seriously liking someone. "
Agree with you here as i think sexual chemistry is a very important part of a relationship but sometimes that doesn't always happen straight away...as in getting to know each others minds and exploring new things together! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't really believe in the holding off on sex til until the umpteenth date thing, pretty much for this reason. I want to sleep together early on, to get a feel for whether that side clicks, before I even start seriously liking someone.
Agree with you here as i think sexual chemistry is a very important part of a relationship but sometimes that doesn't always happen straight away...as in getting to know each others minds and exploring new things together!"
Oh definitely, but I think you can tell whether the potential is there or if you're just not compatible in bed. |
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"I don't really believe in the holding off on sex til until the umpteenth date thing, pretty much for this reason. I want to sleep together early on, to get a feel for whether that side clicks, before I even start seriously liking someone.
Agree with you here as i think sexual chemistry is a very important part of a relationship but sometimes that doesn't always happen straight away...as in getting to know each others minds and exploring new things together!
Oh definitely, but I think you can tell whether the potential is there or if you're just not compatible in bed. "
Yes i guess that's all part of the spark that get's you both into bed together! I think another way of looking at it is that someone could really do it for you in the bedroom department early on but as you get to know someone better they could turn out to be not compatible in other ways... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Yes i guess that's all part of the spark that get's you both into bed together! I think another way of looking at it is that someone could really do it for you in the bedroom department early on but as you get to know someone better they could turn out to be not compatible in other ways..."
Totally agree again  that's just the norm as a relationship starts out though, you don't know what's coming in the long run. But I'd be more comfortable breaking it off with someone where flaws have appeared in the non sexual relationship, rather than ending up in the OP scenario where I think they're great generally but the sex isn't working. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Yes i guess that's all part of the spark that get's you both into bed together! I think another way of looking at it is that someone could really do it for you in the bedroom department early on but as you get to know someone better they could turn out to be not compatible in other ways...
Totally agree again that's just the norm as a relationship starts out though, you don't know what's coming in the long run. But I'd be more comfortable breaking it off with someone where flaws have appeared in the non sexual relationship, rather than ending up in the OP scenario where I think they're great generally but the sex isn't working. "
It’s not easy though. When you’ve been with that person more than half your life. You have children, you love them, you've built a life together. I don’t know if you’ve been there or not but it’s easier said than done x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Yes i guess that's all part of the spark that get's you both into bed together! I think another way of looking at it is that someone could really do it for you in the bedroom department early on but as you get to know someone better they could turn out to be not compatible in other ways...
Totally agree again that's just the norm as a relationship starts out though, you don't know what's coming in the long run. But I'd be more comfortable breaking it off with someone where flaws have appeared in the non sexual relationship, rather than ending up in the OP scenario where I think they're great generally but the sex isn't working.
It’s not easy though. When you’ve been with that person more than half your life. You have children, you love them, you've built a life together. I don’t know if you’ve been there or not but it’s easier said than done x"
I know, I've been there . Hence why I wouldn't get something started in the first place now before knowing we were well matcbed sexually |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Yes i guess that's all part of the spark that get's you both into bed together! I think another way of looking at it is that someone could really do it for you in the bedroom department early on but as you get to know someone better they could turn out to be not compatible in other ways...
Totally agree again that's just the norm as a relationship starts out though, you don't know what's coming in the long run. But I'd be more comfortable breaking it off with someone where flaws have appeared in the non sexual relationship, rather than ending up in the OP scenario where I think they're great generally but the sex isn't working.
It’s not easy though. When you’ve been with that person more than half your life. You have children, you love them, you've built a life together. I don’t know if you’ve been there or not but it’s easier said than done x
I know, I've been there . Hence why I wouldn't get something started in the first place now before knowing we were well matcbed sexually "
Oh god yes. I agree. Although we were. 25 years is a long time though!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Yes i guess that's all part of the spark that get's you both into bed together! I think another way of looking at it is that someone could really do it for you in the bedroom department early on but as you get to know someone better they could turn out to be not compatible in other ways...
Totally agree again that's just the norm as a relationship starts out though, you don't know what's coming in the long run. But I'd be more comfortable breaking it off with someone where flaws have appeared in the non sexual relationship, rather than ending up in the OP scenario where I think they're great generally but the sex isn't working.
It’s not easy though. When you’ve been with that person more than half your life. You have children, you love them, you've built a life together. I don’t know if you’ve been there or not but it’s easier said than done x
I know, I've been there . Hence why I wouldn't get something started in the first place now before knowing we were well matcbed sexually
Oh god yes. I agree. Although we were. 25 years is a long time though! "
Yeah, like I said up there ^ somewhere lol, you can't anticipate everything thats going to come. But, Queenie's post said it wasn't happening from the get go, so I'm just saying I'd rather feel that out ASAP before I even get to any serious status with someone now. |
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"
Yes i guess that's all part of the spark that get's you both into bed together! I think another way of looking at it is that someone could really do it for you in the bedroom department early on but as you get to know someone better they could turn out to be not compatible in other ways...
Totally agree again that's just the norm as a relationship starts out though, you don't know what's coming in the long run. But I'd be more comfortable breaking it off with someone where flaws have appeared in the non sexual relationship, rather than ending up in the OP scenario where I think they're great generally but the sex isn't working. "
Think I see your logic... a sexual/physical connection is easier/quicker to establish than an emotional/mental one? I've had times where one has come before the other! |
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