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Ways to survive a horror film....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Never wander off alone be a virgin or female.
Never walk into a spooky abandoned house and start shouting “hello” at the top of your voice.
Any others? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What I don’t get is how they all expert to runners. If I was being chased I could probably do a gently 20 minute jog at best unless I was wearing a sports bra. But then that takes about 10 minutes to get on so I’m not sure if the murderer would be ok waiting for me to sort myself out.
So I guess always be in a sports bra and sensible footwear just in case |
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By *ookMan
over a year ago
london |
Sensible shoes are key...
Plus pick up the weapons (check ammunition). Find high ground with good observation. Water and food will come next... a really good kebab shop next to a pub or blue water/lakeside.
Face mask and soap for hand washing... |
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Don’t walk away thinking he’s (sorry it could be a she, but I doubt it) dead, put the fucking boot in 
Don’t hide in a wardrobe.
Don’t be a camp counsellor or a babysitter on Halloween.
Don’t have a weird little brother (see above, just kill him on the off chance he’ll turn into a rampaging killer)
You run downstairs to get away, stupid
Don’t invite anyone into your house, on the off chance they’re a Vampire.
Don’t walk on the moors, stick to the road  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Avoid long haired little girls
Do not go out on a full moon
Wear garlic when outside at night and carry a gun with silver bullets in it
Avoid abandoned buildings, asylums and churches
Always travel with slower friends
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If you hear noises in the house at night actually switch all the lights on if you really have to go and investigate instead of tiptoeing around in pitch darkness and getting jumped on.
Also if you hear some creepy whispering coming out of a basement or unused room, just don't go in there! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dont piss off gypsy grandma's.
Dont fit into any of the stereotypes while going on a camping trip in the middle of a Redneck county, A geek, A dumb beautiful oversexualised woman or a jock.
Dont be an American (have you noticed most horrors are set in America?) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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After temporarily decking the villain who has dropped a killer weapon, why do you never just pick up the weapon to use yourself. Nope you have to run stupidly past totally armless and then get chased again when chaser gets up. Duh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If her kid is a drug addict and she is a pain in the ass, kill them all, get on the yacht and just make sure you have enough food and alcohol for the next two years ... PARTY!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"By horror movie law; being black and Male: I’m dead within the first 15mins
Im fat and female.
I feel this"
It’s never dignified either is it? I’d get stuck trying to get through a cat flap or something |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"By horror movie law; being black and Male: I’m dead within the first 15mins
Im fat and female.
I feel this
It’s never dignified either is it? I’d get stuck trying to get through a cat flap or something "
Or run for 10 steps, fall on your belly and be too fat to get back up so they just look horrified whilst waiting to be axed to death |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"By horror movie law; being black and Male: I’m dead within the first 15mins
Im fat and female.
I feel this
It’s never dignified either is it? I’d get stuck trying to get through a cat flap or something
Or run for 10 steps, fall on your belly and be too fat to get back up so they just look horrified whilst waiting to be axed to death"
some of the horror movies I've seen larger people have put up some of the best fights, they're the strongest and alot harder to take down and are usually the ones that sacrifice themselves fighting a last stand to save others because of it... they're like the most honourable stereotypes. |
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