FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > How do we join your gang of fabulous people?
How do we join your gang of fabulous people?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So relatively new to fab (6 weeks newbie) been browsing the forums and you seem like such a lovely lush bunch!
I’m finding the whole fab experience as a single gal amazing but kind of feel sorry for a lot of the lovely guys who are massively outnumbered .
But I must say I have been chatting to lots of lovely interesting men and feel a bit like a kid in a sweet shop, too much choice,
So my question is how do you girls navigate your way round this? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ha ha, I have the filters all in place. It’s more about not getting carried away talking to too many many men at the same time. Not enough days in the week to meet up, but they are all lovely guys  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh that’s what I meant, lots of guys nii I t so many women! I blame the wine "
I always blame the wine. 
Handy hint, if you use reply and qoute on the post you are replying to it makes it easier to know who you are relying to and it flows better.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh that’s what I meant, lots of guys nii I t so many women! I blame the wine
I always blame the wine.
Handy hint, if you use reply and qoute on the post you are replying to it makes it easier to know who you are relying to and it flows better. "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh that’s what I meant, lots of guys nii I t so many women! I blame the wine
I always blame the wine.
Handy hint, if you use reply and qoute on the post you are replying to it makes it easier to know who you are relying to and it flows better. "
Thank you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh that’s what I meant, lots of guys nii I t so many women! I blame the wine
I always blame the wine.
Handy hint, if you use reply and qoute on the post you are replying to it makes it easier to know who you are relying to and it flows better.
Thank you."
Your welcome. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Oh that’s what I meant, lots of guys nii I t so many women! I blame the wine
I always blame the wine.
Handy hint, if you use reply and qoute on the post you are replying to it makes it easier to know who you are relying to and it flows better.
Thank you.
Your welcome. "
You all seem like such a lovely nice crew of people.
It that nerve wracking thing of putting yourself out there and saying hi I’m new and would like to join your gang. |
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for me....
Don't
Trust
Anyone
Now that's out of the way. Welcome to the forums.
How do I choose?
I've not chosen for 2 years so I'm off the horse there. Something I need to relearn and probably do differently.
I'm gonna be savage and will limit myself hugely but that doesn't matter to me. I need to do things in a way that's safe for me.
99% of people will likely tell me to go fuck myself, and that's fine. It'll narrow it down to who I do find trustworthy enough.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So relatively new to fab (6 weeks newbie) been browsing the forums and you seem like such a lovely lush bunch!
I’m finding the whole fab experience as a single gal amazing but kind of feel sorry for a lot of the lovely guys who are massively outnumbered .
But I must say I have been chatting to lots of lovely interesting men and feel a bit like a kid in a sweet shop, too much choice,
So my question is how do you girls navigate your way round this?"
Your only 6 weeks in , let's hope you don't fall into the trap most women on here fall into. The one where they think because they are in a sweetie shop full of tasty men and recieve lots of messages from hungry guys they now believe themselves to be 10/10 on the "I'm so hot list" when in reality there only a 5 or 6.
Absolutely use your filters , absolutely say no thanks to those who don't interest you, absolutely block those who pester you , absolutely report those who abuse you, but Never fall into the trap of thinking yourself above others . Answer all messages even to say no thx then block to stop repeat messaging, slowly but surely your inbox will become manageable.
Anyway best of luck on your Fab journey , hope you have all the fun you can handle. Xx  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So relatively new to fab (6 weeks newbie) been browsing the forums and you seem like such a lovely lush bunch!
I’m finding the whole fab experience as a single gal amazing but kind of feel sorry for a lot of the lovely guys who are massively outnumbered .
But I must say I have been chatting to lots of lovely interesting men and feel a bit like a kid in a sweet shop, too much choice,
So my question is how do you girls navigate your way round this?
Your only 6 weeks in , let's hope you don't fall into the trap most women on here fall into. The one where they think because they are in a sweetie shop full of tasty men and recieve lots of messages from hungry guys they now believe themselves to be 10/10 on the "I'm so hot list" when in reality there only a 5 or 6.
Absolutely use your filters , absolutely say no thanks to those who don't interest you, absolutely block those who pester you , absolutely report those who abuse you, but Never fall into the trap of thinking yourself above others . Answer all messages even to say no thx then block to stop repeat messaging, slowly but surely your inbox will become manageable.
Anyway best of luck on your Fab journey , hope you have all the fun you can handle. Xx "
That first bit wasn't necessary.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"for me....
Don't
Trust
Anyone
Now that's out of the way. Welcome to the forums.
How do I choose?
I've not chosen for 2 years so I'm off the horse there. Something I need to relearn and probably do differently.
I'm gonna be savage and will limit myself hugely but that doesn't matter to me. I need to do things in a way that's safe for me.
99% of people will likely tell me to go fuck myself, and that's fine. It'll narrow it down to who I do find trustworthy enough.
"
See now I have had 3 socials with really nice guys and I have been chatting to a few who on the first impression seem nice.
Have not met or chatted to any obvious dickheads.
One line intros, non verified pics, newbies I delete .
But I find myself getting carried away chatting to people and feel I probably need to be more choosy maybe. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So relatively new to fab (6 weeks newbie) been browsing the forums and you seem like such a lovely lush bunch!
I’m finding the whole fab experience as a single gal amazing but kind of feel sorry for a lot of the lovely guys who are massively outnumbered .
But I must say I have been chatting to lots of lovely interesting men and feel a bit like a kid in a sweet shop, too much choice,
So my question is how do you girls navigate your way round this?
Your only 6 weeks in , let's hope you don't fall into the trap most women on here fall into. The one where they think because they are in a sweetie shop full of tasty men and recieve lots of messages from hungry guys they now believe themselves to be 10/10 on the "I'm so hot list" when in reality there only a 5 or 6.
Absolutely use your filters , absolutely say no thanks to those who don't interest you, absolutely block those who pester you , absolutely report those who abuse you, but Never fall into the trap of thinking yourself above others . Answer all messages even to say no thx then block to stop repeat messaging, slowly but surely your inbox will become manageable.
Anyway best of luck on your Fab journey , hope you have all the fun you can handle. Xx
That first bit wasn't necessary.
"
Oh and absolutely don't feel obliged to reply to any messages.
You don't owe anyone a reply, you do whatever you feel comfortable with and don't apologise for that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Hello, it's exciting to have just joined, all the possibilities seem endless. For me its very much a just keep talking and talking too people and you get a feel for the ones who will be for you. X |
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"for me....
Don't
Trust
Anyone
Now that's out of the way. Welcome to the forums.
How do I choose?
I've not chosen for 2 years so I'm off the horse there. Something I need to relearn and probably do differently.
I'm gonna be savage and will limit myself hugely but that doesn't matter to me. I need to do things in a way that's safe for me.
99% of people will likely tell me to go fuck myself, and that's fine. It'll narrow it down to who I do find trustworthy enough.
See now I have had 3 socials with really nice guys and I have been chatting to a few who on the first impression seem nice.
Have not met or chatted to any obvious dickheads.
One line intros, non verified pics, newbies I delete .
But I find myself getting carried away chatting to people and feel I probably need to be more choosy maybe. "
I was like that, met some great people. Most of my real life friends started out here.
I found myself in a position I never expected to be in tho, and now my ears are pricked up like a doberman guarding the perimeter fence and I'm on high alert.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So relatively new to fab (6 weeks newbie) been browsing the forums and you seem like such a lovely lush bunch!
I’m finding the whole fab experience as a single gal amazing but kind of feel sorry for a lot of the lovely guys who are massively outnumbered .
But I must say I have been chatting to lots of lovely interesting men and feel a bit like a kid in a sweet shop, too much choice,
So my question is how do you girls navigate your way round this?
Your only 6 weeks in , let's hope you don't fall into the trap most women on here fall into. The one where they think because they are in a sweetie shop full of tasty men and recieve lots of messages from hungry guys they now believe themselves to be 10/10 on the "I'm so hot list" when in reality there only a 5 or 6.
Absolutely use your filters , absolutely say no thanks to those who don't interest you, absolutely block those who pester you , absolutely report those who abuse you, but Never fall into the trap of thinking yourself above others . Answer all messages even to say no thx then block to stop repeat messaging, slowly but surely your inbox will become manageable.
Anyway best of luck on your Fab journey , hope you have all the fun you can handle. Xx
That first bit wasn't necessary.
Oh and absolutely don't feel obliged to reply to any messages.
You don't owe anyone a reply, you do whatever you feel comfortable with and don't apologise for that. "
I delete remorselessly with no apologies, it’s more that there almost feels like there are too many chats going on with the nice ones! I think yay you look lush seem nice and the another one pops up who looks equally as good! |
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"So relatively new to fab (6 weeks newbie) been browsing the forums and you seem like such a lovely lush bunch!
I’m finding the whole fab experience as a single gal amazing but kind of feel sorry for a lot of the lovely guys who are massively outnumbered .
But I must say I have been chatting to lots of lovely interesting men and feel a bit like a kid in a sweet shop, too much choice,
So my question is how do you girls navigate your way round this?
Your only 6 weeks in , let's hope you don't fall into the trap most women on here fall into. The one where they think because they are in a sweetie shop full of tasty men and recieve lots of messages from hungry guys they now believe themselves to be 10/10 on the "I'm so hot list" when in reality there only a 5 or 6.
Absolutely use your filters , absolutely say no thanks to those who don't interest you, absolutely block those who pester you , absolutely report those who abuse you, but Never fall into the trap of thinking yourself above others . Answer all messages even to say no thx then block to stop repeat messaging, slowly but surely your inbox will become manageable.
Anyway best of luck on your Fab journey , hope you have all the fun you can handle. Xx
That first bit wasn't necessary.
Oh and absolutely don't feel obliged to reply to any messages.
You don't owe anyone a reply, you do whatever you feel comfortable with and don't apologise for that.
I delete remorselessly with no apologies, it’s more that there almost feels like there are too many chats going on with the nice ones! I think yay you look lush seem nice and the another one pops up who looks equally as good! "
I agree with Lorna. And don't worry about it. As long as you're not leading anyone to believe otherwise, talk to as many guys aa you like. Some will filter themselves out over time anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hello, it's exciting to have just joined, all the possibilities seem endless. For me its very much a just keep talking and talking too people and you get a feel for the ones who will be for you. X"
I get that it is very intoxicating as a newbie, the choice seems endless, atm I could fill every day of the week with a delicious portfolio of men. It’s all a bit mind blowing to be honest & v overwhelming. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
The "choice" thing is no different for guys too - yes we may not get as much attention in terms of quantity as ladies do, but when it comes to quality for the guys that understand how the site works, the balance is fairly even - and for me it's always been to take time and allow things to develop naturally, some people you chat to it will just fizzle out naturally, others won't ever really get started and then there will be those where it all just flows and seems right and it's not so much a case of choosing as the choice is made for you
I think when we all start we have ideas of how we think it will be and probably asked similar questions of ourselves as you are OP but allow it to develop naturally over time and you find your own place and rhythm |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The "choice" thing is no different for guys too - yes we may not get as much attention in terms of quantity as ladies do, but when it comes to quality for the guys that understand how the site works, the balance is fairly even - and for me it's always been to take time and allow things to develop naturally, some people you chat to it will just fizzle out naturally, others won't ever really get started and then there will be those where it all just flows and seems right and it's not so much a case of choosing as the choice is made for you
I think when we all start we have ideas of how we think it will be and probably asked similar questions of ourselves as you are OP but allow it to develop naturally over time and you find your own place and rhythm"
Completely agree with all you have said, however I’m a naturally chatty person so find I have a lot of good chats going on simultaneously. Some drop off and fizzle as you say but a lot seem to flow, that’s where the dilemma happens. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So relatively new to fab (6 weeks newbie) been browsing the forums and you seem like such a lovely lush bunch!
I’m finding the whole fab experience as a single gal amazing but kind of feel sorry for a lot of the lovely guys who are massively outnumbered .
But I must say I have been chatting to lots of lovely interesting men and feel a bit like a kid in a sweet shop, too much choice,
So my question is how do you girls navigate your way round this?
Your only 6 weeks in , let's hope you don't fall into the trap most women on here fall into. The one where they think because they are in a sweetie shop full of tasty men and recieve lots of messages from hungry guys they now believe themselves to be 10/10 on the "I'm so hot list" when in reality there only a 5 or 6.
Absolutely use your filters , absolutely say no thanks to those who don't interest you, absolutely block those who pester you , absolutely report those who abuse you, but Never fall into the trap of thinking yourself above others . Answer all messages even to say no thx then block to stop repeat messaging, slowly but surely your inbox will become manageable.
Anyway best of luck on your Fab journey , hope you have all the fun you can handle. Xx
That first bit wasn't necessary.
"
But 100% true. 
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The "choice" thing is no different for guys too - yes we may not get as much attention in terms of quantity as ladies do, but when it comes to quality for the guys that understand how the site works, the balance is fairly even - and for me it's always been to take time and allow things to develop naturally, some people you chat to it will just fizzle out naturally, others won't ever really get started and then there will be those where it all just flows and seems right and it's not so much a case of choosing as the choice is made for you
I think when we all start we have ideas of how we think it will be and probably asked similar questions of ourselves as you are OP but allow it to develop naturally over time and you find your own place and rhythm
Completely agree with all you have said, however I’m a naturally chatty person so find I have a lot of good chats going on simultaneously. Some drop off and fizzle as you say but a lot seem to flow, that’s where the dilemma happens."
May I also suggest you use your private notes feature, where you can make private notes on people's profile so it reminds you who they are or how you have interacted in the past with them. Only you see the notes .They are a huge feature of Fab in my opinion. X |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"The "choice" thing is no different for guys too - yes we may not get as much attention in terms of quantity as ladies do, but when it comes to quality for the guys that understand how the site works, the balance is fairly even - and for me it's always been to take time and allow things to develop naturally, some people you chat to it will just fizzle out naturally, others won't ever really get started and then there will be those where it all just flows and seems right and it's not so much a case of choosing as the choice is made for you
I think when we all start we have ideas of how we think it will be and probably asked similar questions of ourselves as you are OP but allow it to develop naturally over time and you find your own place and rhythm
Completely agree with all you have said, however I’m a naturally chatty person so find I have a lot of good chats going on simultaneously. Some drop off and fizzle as you say but a lot seem to flow, that’s where the dilemma happens."
And that's where my second paragraph kicks in - over time you'll find yourself subconsciously leaning more to one or two of those people and looking for their messages ahead of others and then you'll "know" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The "choice" thing is no different for guys too - yes we may not get as much attention in terms of quantity as ladies do, but when it comes to quality for the guys that understand how the site works, the balance is fairly even - and for me it's always been to take time and allow things to develop naturally, some people you chat to it will just fizzle out naturally, others won't ever really get started and then there will be those where it all just flows and seems right and it's not so much a case of choosing as the choice is made for you
I think when we all start we have ideas of how we think it will be and probably asked similar questions of ourselves as you are OP but allow it to develop naturally over time and you find your own place and rhythm
Completely agree with all you have said, however I’m a naturally chatty person so find I have a lot of good chats going on simultaneously. Some drop off and fizzle as you say but a lot seem to flow, that’s where the dilemma happens.
And that's where my second paragraph kicks in - over time you'll find yourself subconsciously leaning more to one or two of those people and looking for their messages ahead of others and then you'll "know""
I'll second that. I've had lots of chats, some are about something specific and stop after that, some are short bursts here and there, and a few are continuous, and some just fizzle. You'll find your own natural rhythm.
And welcome to the forums OP |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The "choice" thing is no different for guys too - yes we may not get as much attention in terms of quantity as ladies do, but when it comes to quality for the guys that understand how the site works, the balance is fairly even - and for me it's always been to take time and allow things to develop naturally, some people you chat to it will just fizzle out naturally, others won't ever really get started and then there will be those where it all just flows and seems right and it's not so much a case of choosing as the choice is made for you
I think when we all start we have ideas of how we think it will be and probably asked similar questions of ourselves as you are OP but allow it to develop naturally over time and you find your own place and rhythm
Completely agree with all you have said, however I’m a naturally chatty person so find I have a lot of good chats going on simultaneously. Some drop off and fizzle as you say but a lot seem to flow, that’s where the dilemma happens.
And that's where my second paragraph kicks in - over time you'll find yourself subconsciously leaning more to one or two of those people and looking for their messages ahead of others and then you'll "know"
I'll second that. I've had lots of chats, some are about something specific and stop after that, some are short bursts here and there, and a few are continuous, and some just fizzle. You'll find your own natural rhythm.
And welcome to the forums OP "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The "choice" thing is no different for guys too - yes we may not get as much attention in terms of quantity as ladies do, but when it comes to quality for the guys that understand how the site works, the balance is fairly even - and for me it's always been to take time and allow things to develop naturally, some people you chat to it will just fizzle out naturally, others won't ever really get started and then there will be those where it all just flows and seems right and it's not so much a case of choosing as the choice is made for you
I think when we all start we have ideas of how we think it will be and probably asked similar questions of ourselves as you are OP but allow it to develop naturally over time and you find your own place and rhythm
Completely agree with all you have said, however I’m a naturally chatty person so find I have a lot of good chats going on simultaneously. Some drop off and fizzle as you say but a lot seem to flow, that’s where the dilemma happens.
And that's where my second paragraph kicks in - over time you'll find yourself subconsciously leaning more to one or two of those people and looking for their messages ahead of others and then you'll "know"
I'll second that. I've had lots of chats, some are about something specific and stop after that, some are short bursts here and there, and a few are continuous, and some just fizzle. You'll find your own natural rhythm.
And welcome to the forums OP "
Thank you for the lovely welcome to the forum & all of the tips, I shall take it all on board. |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"I'll just say hello and welcome to you OP.
Tip - find a guy you like & make sure he's not a nutter.
Nutters need love too  "
.
I've told you before - I'm not a nutter and the other penguins will confirm this.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll just say hello and welcome to you OP.
Tip - find a guy you like & make sure he's not a nutter.
Nutters need love too .
I've told you before - I'm not a nutter and the other penguins will confirm this. "
Its ok, I love ya |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"I'll just say hello and welcome to you OP.
Tip - find a guy you like & make sure he's not a nutter.
Nutters need love too .
I've told you before - I'm not a nutter and the other penguins will confirm this.
Its ok, I love ya "
Shhhh. You know the emus get jealous. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Definitely use the block button as a filter too. Don't worry about using it too much
My block list is massive. "
Pfft neither of you have blocked me yet. Amateurs! |
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Taking my time, which is natural, is the best thing for me. Some men are demanding, come and go in a few minutes metaphorically, so a pause often means that they've gone before you know it.
Filtering is ideal to use, to narrow down the group.
Go looking for who you want too - they will appreciate the attention.
If you feel pressured, I think it's right to pause things or stop completely. Block people who are not right for you, to prevent further inappropriate communication.
Speak live to people before meeting, to gauge their immediate responses to questions and how you naturally get along. You'll get an easier feel for whether you are matched, than via texts. Have a burner phone number to speak etc.
Don't use pics that you have anywhere else on the Internet, as people will track you down. Similarly, keep confidential details of yourself private, give as little away as possible, as some people have been stalked.
Get to know people socially and remember that the site does not support people meeting for anything other than social meets at the moment. |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
Hi OP. Welcome to the forum.
Jump in with both feet, have fun and remember it's meant to be an enjoyable place.
Youre not obliged to answer every message and don't let anyone make you feel you have to.
And make your own mind up about people. They're mostly pretty great.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Definitely use the block button as a filter too. Don't worry about using it too much
My block list is massive.
Pfft neither of you have blocked me yet. Amateurs!"
Give it time Doc. |
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"Definitely use the block button as a filter too. Don't worry about using it too much
My block list is massive.
Pfft neither of you have blocked me yet. Amateurs!
Give it time Doc. "
There's always room for more |
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