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Personality counts right??

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Just wondered... Is it wrong that I like to get to know someone before I meet them?

A lot of people message asking to meet straight away. That isnt my style, but is that bad?

I like to get to know someones personality and see if there is some sort of click with the other person. Obviously looks are important as you have to be attracted to the other person/people... but personality can make the attraction so much better and make the sex so much better

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

There is no bad or good way/ right or wrong way.....there is only what works for you.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

Yes it is wrong. As a single man you must not care a jot where you stick your widger. Single men can't be picky on here you know

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By *issBehavingxxWoman over a year ago

Glasgow

Nope, use the site however you want...

Last minute meets for me are generally with people I've already met, and people who's initial mail consists of stuff along the lines of "how are you, wanna meet" just get deleted.

Do whatever works for you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago
Forum Mod

You do whatever you feel comfortable with,no-one should make you feel that how you want to do things is wrong

I think theres a lot of us that want to get to know someone a little more before they feel comfortable enough to meet

Personally I would'nt trust anyone that messaged and wanted an immediate meet as thats not how I play,but I know that there are others that like quick and spontaneous meets

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By *phroditeWoman over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I would not meet anybody I had not got to know a bit first - but then for me attraction is not a purely physical thing. Nothing wrong with your approach

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's lovely getting to know somebody, but can be a bit dis-heartening taking the time to get to know each other only to find there's no spark in real life.

I tend to be a little more careful not to be too open on here nowadays...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I had the same trouble when I was a single guy so the solution was to get married. Worked a treat, no fooker bothers me now.

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By *phroditeWoman over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"It's lovely getting to know somebody, but can be a bit dis-heartening taking the time to get to know each other only to find there's no spark in real life.

I tend to be a little more careful not to be too open on here nowadays..."

I know what you mean - but more often than not it does work

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Mmmmmmmm. Strange this one. A lot of people messaging a bloke to meet straight away for what I will call a shag... I wonder if that is the truth. Maybe yes maybe a big fat NO ...

You must be one of the very few lucky blokes here

Having said that yes it is nice to have a bit of conversation before meeting and getting any action

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By *riendlyfunfemWoman over a year ago

A world of my own

"I would not meet anybody I had not got to know a bit first - but then for me attraction is not a purely physical thing. Nothing wrong with your approach

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd say it more sounds like get some sexy snaps have a cam wank n move on lol....I see personality come from meeting...the cyberstyle really doesnt do much at all for me.-not saying I seek instant meets always...but I like to get off the computer/phone whatever as soon as possible and have real fun.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I had the same trouble when I was a single guy so the solution was to get married. Worked a treat, no fooker bothers me now.

Do I have to read your post with an ironical eye? Hahahahha

Nice one ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I am glad i am not in the wrong as I wouldnt change it anyway... I guess I am just me and hope it works for some people haha!

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By *phroditeWoman over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I am glad i am not in the wrong as I wouldnt change it anyway... I guess I am just me and hope it works for some people haha!"
I just thought..... I guess it is also a little bit about self respect. I love the scene and the opportunities of having fun, laughter and exciting playtimes and yet, I do choose whom I meet and what I do with them. And I would not be pushed, rushed or made to do anything I was not comfortable with.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Its a good idea to get to know someone a little bit first.

only sometimes you cant tell what a person is like till you meet them.

as anyone can say all the right things in messages or on the phone.

you could maybe miss out by being too cautious though.

i have met some men i didnt like at all

some were ok, and some were realy nice too.

also it depends how long you or they intend on being with each other

some men only want to stay for half an hour, and sometimes they outstay their welcome.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I am glad i am not in the wrong as I wouldnt change it anyway... I guess I am just me and hope it works for some people haha!I just thought..... I guess it is also a little bit about self respect. I love the scene and the opportunities of having fun, laughter and exciting playtimes and yet, I do choose whom I meet and what I do with them. And I would not be pushed, rushed or made to do anything I was not comfortable with. "

Yeah I agree. There are a lot of pushy people on here but its important to be yourself and its good to be picky i think

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well said

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

I have on my profile I never "meet now" and I consider anyone who suggests it a nut, and as I don't meet nuts: instant block!

How I meet works for me, I'm here to please me. I have to admit I do find it strange adults asking permission from total strangers how to conduct their sex lives.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i was told once by a fellow male swinger.

a cunt is a cunt,doesnt matter whos arsehole it hangs out of.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have yet to meet anyone without getting to know that person first.

I am not talking about in depth details such as what he has eaten for breakfast that morning, just sufficient message exchanges to get a "feel" about that person, as in what makes him tick in life, as well in sex.

If I do not feel there is a connection, I shan't meet that person.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

guess it all depends on the person. If i like the look of them, i'll have sex with them, personality is a bonus but isnt essential for a good hard fuck

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

for me.

if i feel comfortable with someone then ok.

but before each meet i have usually spoke on the phone,texted and msn whatever so you do get an idea.

for some its just any holes a goal and being s single man i can understand that but for me no.

i like to build up a rapor and for me this works.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"i was told once by a fellow male swinger.

a cunt is a cunt,doesnt matter whos arsehole it hangs out of.

I would not say that is true for gents, as there are good ones about.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"i was told once by a fellow male swinger.

a cunt is a cunt,doesnt matter whos arsehole it hangs out of.

I would not say that is true for gents, as there are good ones about.

lets hope so x

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

As others state, nothing is wrong, unless it's against your moral/other code, or is hurting someone etc. When we transgress our boundaries, this is potentially a time for our growth, or we hurt ourselves, potentially, as we've disrespected our own needs/values.

I like to get to know who I'm having sex with enough, though my needs change over time, and this week I've been messaged by a lot of guys who've felt it prudent to use messages containing about 6 words or less, and attempted stimulation of them for more detail, ie. communicating, hasn't worked, so we've not met. If I'd met each of them in different circumstances, a few spoken words may have been enough. On a somewhat anonymous internet site, I likely need a more detailed involvement, prior to sex. I always speak on the phone first, and this lets us get to know each other somewhat, and we're less strangers when we physically meet.

My experience has been developed through good and bad, growth and brick walls, and it helps make me more of who I am, and get from life what I love, where I pay attention to it. Get a bit random, and the direction and end point becomes haphazard.

It's great to know what you need, and to stay in tune with yourself, rather than others who may seemingly be in a fog, and going round in circles.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I much prefer to get to know someone a little first but I think I know in the first couple of messages whether we will get on however the face picture is the deciding factor on meeting or not. On some occasion I have met someone after only a couple of messages and because I'm free. I don't think it matters so whatever makes you comfortable

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just wondered... Is it wrong that I like to get to know someone before I meet them?

A lot of people message asking to meet straight away. That isnt my style, but is that bad?

Nothing wrong with that. I'm the same. Some crazy people out there!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"i was told once by a fellow male swinger.

a cunt is a cunt,doesnt matter whos arsehole it hangs out of.

"
oh he sounds lovely

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

nothing wrong there... if that is the way you do your swinging then don't let anyone change that....

I am very much a personality person... and I hope that my personality when i am at socials and at clubs shine thru....

different strokes for different folks....

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