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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The Sub holds all the power.
Watch the 50 shades trilogy  "
please do not do this 
There are some great books screw the roses being one of them. Some great websites for resources but the best thing you can do is communicate and find out what you Both want to get out of it.
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
When is this happening?
I assume you have never “subbed” before?
What does being submissive mean to you? What does it mean to the other party?
Do you mean being submissive or just being a bottom for a top? Do you understand the difference?
Submissive and Dominant are typically roles adopted in a dynamic.
A bottom is the submissive equivalent in a casual or one off play session, with top being the Dominant. However most people prefer to ise the Dom sub names for ease.
While people will claim the submissive holds all the power, or submission is a gift, in reality thats not the case.
A D/s dynamic is power exchange. Both sub or Dom can choose to end the relationship if they feel the other is not suitable for varying reasons.
My tips are as follows
Ask questions/communicate
What would he do if you safeworded during a session?
Do you have safewords and understand their use?
How does he deal with aftercare?
Do you both follow SSC/RACK i.e. is all play risk assessed?
Has he explained what he wants, a masochist, a slave, service submission or just a rough fuck doll?
Do you have any hard/soft limits? Is he aware of them?
Dont ever be restrained on a first meet - unless you have built up trust through social meets. While yo hope nothing will happen, sadly it does.
The same for blindfolds - dont be blindfolded and restrained on a first meet.
Do you have any medical issues he should be aware of that could impact your play; mobility, diabetes, blood pressure etc.
Depending on the answers to those there are follow up questions.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When is this happening?
I assume you have never “subbed” before?
What does being submissive mean to you? What does it mean to the other party?
Do you mean being submissive or just being a bottom for a top? Do you understand the difference?
Submissive and Dominant are typically roles adopted in a dynamic.
A bottom is the submissive equivalent in a casual or one off play session, with top being the Dominant. However most people prefer to ise the Dom sub names for ease.
While people will claim the submissive holds all the power, or submission is a gift, in reality thats not the case.
A D/s dynamic is power exchange. Both sub or Dom can choose to end the relationship if they feel the other is not suitable for varying reasons.
My tips are as follows
Ask questions/communicate
What would he do if you safeworded during a session?
Do you have safewords and understand their use?
How does he deal with aftercare?
Do you both follow SSC/RACK i.e. is all play risk assessed?
Has he explained what he wants, a masochist, a slave, service submission or just a rough fuck doll?
Do you have any hard/soft limits? Is he aware of them?
Dont ever be restrained on a first meet - unless you have built up trust through social meets. While yo hope nothing will happen, sadly it does.
The same for blindfolds - dont be blindfolded and restrained on a first meet.
Do you have any medical issues he should be aware of that could impact your play; mobility, diabetes, blood pressure etc.
Depending on the answers to those there are follow up questions.
"
Great advice |
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"The Sub holds all the power.
Watch the 50 shades trilogy "
Crap advice. Do not listen to this.
"When is this happening?
I assume you have never “subbed” before?
What does being submissive mean to you? What does it mean to the other party?
Do you mean being submissive or just being a bottom for a top? Do you understand the difference?
Submissive and Dominant are typically roles adopted in a dynamic.
A bottom is the submissive equivalent in a casual or one off play session, with top being the Dominant. However most people prefer to ise the Dom sub names for ease.
While people will claim the submissive holds all the power, or submission is a gift, in reality thats not the case.
A D/s dynamic is power exchange. Both sub or Dom can choose to end the relationship if they feel the other is not suitable for varying reasons.
My tips are as follows
Ask questions/communicate
What would he do if you safeworded during a session?
Do you have safewords and understand their use?
How does he deal with aftercare?
Do you both follow SSC/RACK i.e. is all play risk assessed?
Has he explained what he wants, a masochist, a slave, service submission or just a rough fuck doll?
Do you have any hard/soft limits? Is he aware of them?
Dont ever be restrained on a first meet - unless you have built up trust through social meets. While yo hope nothing will happen, sadly it does.
The same for blindfolds - dont be blindfolded and restrained on a first meet.
Do you have any medical issues he should be aware of that could impact your play; mobility, diabetes, blood pressure etc.
Depending on the answers to those there are follow up questions."
Listen to this. |
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By *itom18 OP Man
over a year ago
Wigan |
"When is this happening?
I assume you have never “subbed” before?
What does being submissive mean to you? What does it mean to the other party?
Do you mean being submissive or just being a bottom for a top? Do you understand the difference?
Submissive and Dominant are typically roles adopted in a dynamic.
A bottom is the submissive equivalent in a casual or one off play session, with top being the Dominant. However most people prefer to ise the Dom sub names for ease.
While people will claim the submissive holds all the power, or submission is a gift, in reality thats not the case.
A D/s dynamic is power exchange. Both sub or Dom can choose to end the relationship if they feel the other is not suitable for varying reasons.
My tips are as follows
Ask questions/communicate
What would he do if you safeworded during a session?
Do you have safewords and understand their use?
How does he deal with aftercare?
Do you both follow SSC/RACK i.e. is all play risk assessed?
Has he explained what he wants, a masochist, a slave, service submission or just a rough fuck doll?
Do you have any hard/soft limits? Is he aware of them?
Dont ever be restrained on a first meet - unless you have built up trust through social meets. While yo hope nothing will happen, sadly it does.
The same for blindfolds - dont be blindfolded and restrained on a first meet.
Do you have any medical issues he should be aware of that could impact your play; mobility, diabetes, blood pressure etc.
Depending on the answers to those there are follow up questions.
"
Wow thanks for your advice. |
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Think about what you want as much as possible. Open discussions with partners as early as possible and ensure that all understand and accept compatibility, otherwise cancel the meeting.
When the meeting starts, repeat the discussions process and only continue if 100% agreed.
Have a safety protocol including safe word.
Think on your feet at the time. Be fully under control and do your utmost to serve
It's fine to take rest breaks etc. Follow cleanliness and hygiene routines throughout. Respect the covid-19 restrictions.
If uncomfortable, get comfortable or take a break or stop completely.
If matched, your discussions will have covered all activities and approaches, so pursue them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When is this happening?
I assume you have never “subbed” before?
What does being submissive mean to you? What does it mean to the other party?
Do you mean being submissive or just being a bottom for a top? Do you understand the difference?
Submissive and Dominant are typically roles adopted in a dynamic.
A bottom is the submissive equivalent in a casual or one off play session, with top being the Dominant. However most people prefer to ise the Dom sub names for ease.
While people will claim the submissive holds all the power, or submission is a gift, in reality thats not the case.
A D/s dynamic is power exchange. Both sub or Dom can choose to end the relationship if they feel the other is not suitable for varying reasons.
My tips are as follows
Ask questions/communicate
What would he do if you safeworded during a session?
Do you have safewords and understand their use?
How does he deal with aftercare?
Do you both follow SSC/RACK i.e. is all play risk assessed?
Has he explained what he wants, a masochist, a slave, service submission or just a rough fuck doll?
Do you have any hard/soft limits? Is he aware of them?
Dont ever be restrained on a first meet - unless you have built up trust through social meets. While yo hope nothing will happen, sadly it does.
The same for blindfolds - dont be blindfolded and restrained on a first meet.
Do you have any medical issues he should be aware of that could impact your play; mobility, diabetes, blood pressure etc.
Depending on the answers to those there are follow up questions.
"
Excellent advice
Her x |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
Play safely with people you know well and trust , you both have responsibilities and safe words aren’t much use when you can’t speak so he needs to know your limits and signs of distress. The only way to do this is practice , including practising surprise / impact etc |
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