its all about communication and talking to your partner.
Find their soft and hard limits (soft can be pushed. Hard you never push)
Then try one thing at a time from different scenarios to toy inclusion to spanking flogging whipping caning and more. |
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Before you do anything......
Research, research,research.
There are an absolute abundance of books out there.
Find out what , you're interested in...then look into it further.
Anyone can spank,tie someone up etc.....but Safe Sane and Consensual is of the up-most importance.
Good luck in your search.
Ss
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey I’m just looking for some help iv never really done BDSM I’m in quite interested in it just looking for the sort of stuff to start of with nothing too extreme thanks for your help "
What aspects interest you? |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
I really wish this site had a page that stored previously asked questions that had been answered.
There are many ways of grouping people into kink and this is just one way that I use.
There is a group that consists of those who perceive that they are natural in their roles and need not read or research anything. In their eyes you are born dominant or submissive, these are behaviours that are innate and cannot be learnt. This group believe they provide an authentic and real experience and those that learn behaviours will be easily shown to be fake.
Another group consists of people who may have a leaning towards a role,and that leaning may be of various intensity. This group wishes to be the best they can be in their role(s) and use of behaviours and take the view that using the knowledge of others can enhance their experience as well as the experience of their partners.
Because I am someone who falls between the two groups and believes in the benefits of research. I would recommend reading any of the following.
50 Shades of Curious by Bo Blaze. Terrible title but great and accessible book.
Philip Miller and Molly Devon Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism. A really good book although a long read and is a little dated
Anton Fulmen The Heart of Dominance: a guide to practicing consensual dominance. I love this book he also writes great articles.
Jay Wiseman SM 101: A Realistic Introduction A respected a respected educator.
There are of course other books and some good websites.
There also a load of people on YouTube giving advice of varying quality.
At the end of the day provided what you do is genuinely consensual and not abusive you have to find what works for you.
Good Luck |
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