FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > sex and kids....
sex and kids....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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no no its not what some of you are thinking.
to the parents of teenage and grown up kids, at what level do people talk to their kids about sex??
how frank, or not, are you with your kids about sex in general?
are any of them aware that you swing?
my daughter at 23 still puts her fingers in her ears if i mention sex.
i know she knows i have sexual relationships and she has a steady bf of 4 years so i know she is no virgin.
i know she doesnt talk graphically about sex to her mum either.
My mum and i had a very open understanding about sex, she would buy condoms for me if i went away with the lads and advised me about sex and quite openly talked about technique. i personally think it helped me through those awkward first steps of growing up and my first sexual experiences.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Don't think I would be interested in discussing technique with family members. "
thx.
she would explain to me ways that may pleasure a girl. and frankly it helped a lot. dont forget we didnt have tinternet and online porn or late night channel 4 programmes, all we ever had was a fleeting glance at a Mayfair magazine.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Aye each to their own. But I'm sitting here squirming thinking about that kind of conversation. Personally found it just fine and fun finding out myself what to do - mrs notts typing btw.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't think I would be interested in discussing technique with family members.
thx.
she would explain to me ways that may pleasure a girl. and frankly it helped a lot. dont forget we didnt have tinternet and online porn or late night channel 4 programmes, all we ever had was a fleeting glance at a Mayfair magazine...."
Mayfair?! Posh! It was all Razzle bumstacks round our way when I was a lad... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Don't think I would be interested in discussing technique with family members.
thx.
she would explain to me ways that may pleasure a girl. and frankly it helped a lot. dont forget we didnt have tinternet and online porn or late night channel 4 programmes, all we ever had was a fleeting glance at a Mayfair magazine....
Mayfair?! Posh! It was all Razzle bumstacks round our way when I was a lad..."
well i was dragged up in a nice area after all...  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Aye each to their own. But I'm sitting here squirming thinking about that kind of conversation. Personally found it just fine and fun finding out myself what to do - mrs notts typing btw. "
i think that may be the same for most parents but my experience helped me. i dont have a son and my ex did try to broach the subject with our daughter in her teens but she just got embarrased and it never really got mentioned again. |
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I don't discuss my salary, savings etc with my kids. For me I like boundaries. My daughter lives with her boyfriend in my home, my youngest talks to me about her sexuality. By their very existence they know I've had sex...what more needs to be said.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If my father ever talked to me about technique or ways to please a man i would be disgusted. Maybe im a prude but there are just some topics parents should not talk to their kids about. |
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"Aye each to their own. But I'm sitting here squirming thinking about that kind of conversation. Personally found it just fine and fun finding out myself what to do - mrs notts typing btw. "
Inappropriate I'd say, but yes, each to their own. |
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"If my father ever talked to me about technique or ways to please a man i would be disgusted. Maybe im a prude but there are just some topics parents should not talk to their kids about."
Couldn't agree more, but some people don't have boundaries. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If my father ever talked to me about technique or ways to please a man i would be disgusted. Maybe im a prude but there are just some topics parents should not talk to their kids about."
now that would be seen as almost perverted, yet i know other guys who had open chats with their mum.
it is interesting to see different view points. strangly i have never seen my mum naked, not even topless yet we would have frank discussion about sex.
as you say different people have different perspectives. |
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"Don't think I would be interested in discussing technique with family members.
thx.
she would explain to me ways that may pleasure a girl. and frankly it helped a lot. dont forget we didnt have tinternet and online porn or late night channel 4 programmes, all we ever had was a fleeting glance at a Mayfair magazine....
Mayfair?! Posh! It was all Razzle bumstacks round our way when I was a lad..."
A Razzle Bumstack, I haven't seen one of them for ages.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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most kids will lern what they need to know at school ether by sex edication classes or by talking to friends in the school yard then going back in to sex ed and telling the teacher they are wrong |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have always been quite open about it.
I didnt want to be like my parents were.
We were never allowed to talk about sex in our house, like it was something dirty.
I knew my son used to look at porn on his computer, so i asked him to show me where i could find it. 
When he was at school he asked me how old i was when i lost my virginity, so i told him.
I have always been quite honest with him. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have always been quite open about it.
I didnt want to be like my parents were.
We were never allowed to talk about sex in our house, like it was something dirty.
I knew my son used to look at porn on his computer, so i asked him to show me where i could find it.
When he was at school he asked me how old i was when i lost my virginity, so i told him.
I have always been quite honest with him."
yeahh!!! you sound just like my mum...
its ok going on about online porn but it isnt the right way for kids to learn about sex in my opinion and as for listening to your mates in the school yard well of course all my mates were at it every day when i was a kid and were experts... NOT!!!!
i felt that my mum helped me enormously by the advice she gave and it helped me be a better lover. sex ed tells you the mechanics but not much more.
she helped me develop relationshops too by teaching me about how girls think as well as the nitty gritty stuff. It certainly stopped the usual nervous fumblings that happen between teenagers and my first time was actually a good experience for both me and the girl. she knew my mum talked to me about sex and i shared that with her. we went out together for weeks before we actually had sex but we started with petting then onto touching and stuff and were well prepared and ready when we actually had full sex.
i thank my mum for that...she was and still is a diamond... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Open and honest all the way.
I go by if they are old enough to ask the question they are old enough for the answer for any subject and its always worked. Its the way I was brought up.
As her mum its my job to advise, educate and guide her in all aspects of life including sexual education.
Kat. |
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Never ever talked sex with my daughter since she went to Uni.. tho before we were able too.. Im guessing it became more difficult since she became sexually active..I think she is a bit of a prude..
My son and I can talk about anything anytime.
We have great fun discussing stuff . One of his jobs is a sexual health advisor ..so I get some funny stories..The only thing that is on total ban is me watching any porn films he has done.( hides head I really dont want to see that,)!  
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"If my father ever talked to me about technique or ways to please a man i would be disgusted. Maybe im a prude but there are just some topics parents should not talk to their kids about.
now that would be seen as almost perverted, yet i know other guys who had open chats with their mum.
it is interesting to see different view points. strangly i have never seen my mum naked, not even topless yet we would have frank discussion about sex.
as you say different people have different perspectives."
i had a very understanding mum who when i was lad asking the questions that one did out of curiosity about conception / birth etc was very open with me, and that was early 70's..
had she ventured into 'technique' i would have found it totally wrong, its not right imho and it crosses certain boundaries..
however each to their own.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm still waiting for "the talk" from my parents .....if anyone would care to enlighten me as to what this "sex" malarkey is "
certainly caz. when i am next in cumbria i can pop round and pass on my mums words of wisdom...
practical workshops available too...  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why thankyou for that selfless offer Kenny....I'll look forward to it....one's never to old to stop learning "
you are welcome..always willing to do good deeds for the community.
 nudge nudge |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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our daughter is 23 and married and our son is 19 and they are very open with me about sex..... never afraid to ask about sex problems etc.......... some times our son does surprise me and ask things maybe a mum doesnt really want to know lol....... however saying that I never discourage him form chatting to me if he needs to, rahter him do that that worry or have a problem he wasnt sure how to tackle |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well my mum never talked to me about stuff when I was growing up and I wish she had at least to some degree, she would occassionally say something that left me more confused than ever... I remember for instance asking her what an STD was (it got mensioned on telly) and her short and sweet response was "It's a social disease" ..yeah thanks for clearing that up mum  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i dont see why you have to talk about sex with your kids, when they was younger i would answer anything honestly they asked but at 23 i would see no reason at all to worry about what she does and does not know or feel the need to talk about it with her |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think discussing sex with your adult kids is more than a bit wrong (personally). We all need to learn our own techniques, one thing doesnt work for everybody so what exactly are you learning? Besides, I could teach my mum more than she could ever teach me!! x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think its healthy to be open and to be able to talk about sex with my girls weather it be about puberty, going on the pill or actually having sex they know they can come to me about anything.
And I think I have a pretty healthy attitude towards sex although try explaining about my toy in my knicker draw is another conversation that left me red faced but I dealt with it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had discussions with both of my boys, its been on an any questions they e asked I've answered basis. The discussions are all very clinical and sex is spoken about in an educational way rather than in a personal way.
I have discussed the need for condoms etc and the different types of STIs but I would never discuss technique. I feel that goes too far beyond what I believe a mother/son relationship should. I'm the adult (well my eldest is also and my youngest is nearly) but I'm more adult than they are. I take responsibility for what I tell them and technique would not be on the agenda. I believe in the fumbling about learning for youself kind of way that has served all the elder generations before us.
I do let my eldests girlfriend sleep in his bed when she stays over. They are both 23 and engaged. I do not allow my youngest, who is 17 to sleep in the same room as his girlfriend, they may or may not be having sex, he tells me no but I've ensured we've had the condom talk just in case (I'm not that naïve) but I don't encourage it in my house as I fceel he is too young. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think its healthy to be open and to be able to talk about sex with my girls weather it be about puberty, going on the pill or actually having sex they know they can come to me about anything.
And I think I have a pretty healthy attitude towards sex although try explaining about my toy in my knicker draw is another conversation that left me red faced but I dealt with it."
but your daughter is a child at her age its good to be open about sex so they can come to you with any questions and get the facts rather than play ground gossip
When they are in their 20s i think they are past that, i have a 18 and 20 year old daughters i know they are both sexually active but they know everything they need to so i see no reason to bring up sex with them at all, if they ever came to me with a problem that would be fine but i wouldnt bring sex up with them in a conversation |
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