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If you had a time machine

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

What is the pettiest thing you’d do?

I saw a tweet and someone said they’d make T. S. Elliot watch the Cats film

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By *siancouplehantsCouple over a year ago

K-PAX

Get future lottery results

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What is the pettiest thing you’d do?

I saw a tweet and someone said they’d make T. S. Elliot watch the Cats film "

I'd travel in time to the moment you started pooping and remove all toilet paper from your house.

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By *ust ClareTV/TS over a year ago

Settlewick!

I'd put my mother in law on the pill

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I loved a comedians piece about this, saying they'd go back and jump out in front of hitler taking a shit, and punching him in the balls. But do this repeatedly and the slightest fraction of a second earlier each time

I'd think of doing something similar

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By *om and JennieCouple over a year ago

Chams or Socials

Give my ex the eviction he deserved - I was too soft

J x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What is the pettiest thing you’d do?

I saw a tweet and someone said they’d make T. S. Elliot watch the Cats film

I'd travel in time to the moment you started pooping and remove all toilet paper from your house.

Jokes on you, I don’t use toilet paper

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What is the pettiest thing you’d do?

I saw a tweet and someone said they’d make T. S. Elliot watch the Cats film

I'd travel in time to the moment you started pooping and remove all toilet paper from your house.

Jokes on you, I don’t use toilet paper "

I like you but I wasn't going to rim you

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By *rambuie100Man over a year ago

essex/suffolk border

Tell Hitlers mother to give the old man a tit wank instead. Then he’d only run down her cleavage and not over Europe

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What is the pettiest thing you’d do?

I saw a tweet and someone said they’d make T. S. Elliot watch the Cats film

I'd travel in time to the moment you started pooping and remove all toilet paper from your house.

Jokes on you, I don’t use toilet paper

I like you but I wasn't going to rim you

If I had a time machine, you would

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By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

Put rats in my parents bed the night I was conceived. That should halt any hanky-panky

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Put rats in my parents bed the night I was conceived. That should halt any hanky-panky "

Ok I’m not letting you borrow the time machine

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By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

"Put rats in my parents bed the night I was conceived. That should halt any hanky-panky

Ok I’m not letting you borrow the time machine "

Spoilsport

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I wouldn't have gotten married

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

Tell Mark Zuker Ice Berg that Faceybook is a really bad idea.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd go back one day to visit local shop ...buy another half price chocolate bar..all gone now

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Go back to the day I bumped into my ex and his new wife while looking like stig of the dump and square myself up!

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By *eviant KnightMan over a year ago

Norton

"I wouldn't have gotten married "

Likewise

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By *lbinoGorillaMan over a year ago

Redditch

I'd go back to the day the ex I bought a house with told me she wanted us to split up and agree wholeheartedly there and then.

I'd also not transfer 500 quid into her bank account for a birthday party she ended up asking me not to go to

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Go find the person I used to be and not let anyone change her.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Guys most of this isn’t petty

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Tale a group of English teachers back to meet Charles Dickens so that he can explain to them that the curtains were blue because they were just fucking blue!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

id travel back and start going to the cinema. id shout out spoilers for all the big films...i think folk would love that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Tale a group of English teachers back to meet Charles Dickens so that he can explain to them that the curtains were blue because they were just fucking blue!"

That's a good one! I had to write 2000 words on why the handkerchief in Othello was white a while ago. Most hankies are bloody white!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Tale a group of English teachers back to meet Charles Dickens so that he can explain to them that the curtains were blue because they were just fucking blue!"

YOU get it!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd go back in time to last Saturday, quickly jot down the first three numbers on the lottery....treat myself to a slap up meal with the government discount..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Tale a group of English teachers back to meet Charles Dickens so that he can explain to them that the curtains were blue because they were just fucking blue!

That's a good one! I had to write 2000 words on why the handkerchief in Othello was white a while ago. Most hankies are bloody white! "

It was stuff like that that I hated about an otherwise good subject. "Why do you think the author wrote this or that?" Because he was painting a mental picture not a deep thesis on the human psyche, it's a living room!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A lot of work I know, but I'd go back and stop everyone's conception, who has ever said "that tattoo looks amazing" when the said tattoo has clearly been done by a scratcher....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd go back to the 30s and snip the sides off Hitler's big, daft, floppy moustache while he was asleep...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd go back to the 30s and snip the sides off Hitler's big, daft, floppy moustache while he was asleep...

Wait a second

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd go back to the 30s and snip the sides off Hitler's big, daft, floppy moustache while he was asleep...

Wait a second

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple over a year ago

in Lancashire

Ask Shakespeare to do an edited version of most of his work and for Burns editor to translate his work into plain old English..

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By *ove2pleaseseukMan over a year ago

Hastings

"Tell Hitlers mother to give the old man a tit wank instead. Then he’d only run down her cleavage and not over Europe

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd go back to pizza express in woking, when Prince Andrew was supposedly there, and if he was,I'd dress up in increasingly bizarre outfits just to see if I get a mention in his bbc interview

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Go back to when all my socks had pairs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd go back to 1998 to my local cinema to see how the film Titanic ended.had to leave before the end

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By *r.HMan over a year ago

A gentleman never tells

I'd go back and remove the letter A from all the newspaper printing presses just for the sheer annoyance of it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd go back to the 30s and snip the sides off Hitler's big, daft, floppy moustache while he was asleep...

Wait a second

Must admit this took me a second...I must be tired.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What is the pettiest thing you’d do?

I saw a tweet and someone said they’d make T. S. Elliot watch the Cats film "

I’d just drive it around Great Britain playing Huey Lewis and the news’s ‘the power of love’ at full volume.

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By *ackdaw52Man over a year ago

Chesterfield

Brexit.

Or buy a house at 1970s prices!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What's the prettiest thing I'd do?

Give Van Gough a vase full of flowers and keep the painting.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd buy an old blue police box and transport it to just underneath the big pyramid floor in Giza.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/09/20 21:05:00]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd go back to 1998 to my local cinema to see how the film Titanic ended.had to leave before the end"

You'd be a bit late...the movie was out in 1997.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd go back to 1998 to my local cinema to see how the film Titanic ended.had to leave before the end

You'd be a bit late...the movie was out in 1997."

Google says UK release date 23 January.1998

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By *lbinoGorillaMan over a year ago

Redditch

"Brexit.

Or buy a house at 1970s prices!"

You do understand that prices are all relative to earnings at the time, don't you?

My parents' mortgage was £50 a month on a £4,000 mortgage, taken out in 1970. But as dad said that was a hell of a lot of money back then as he earnt £33 a week at the time....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd buy an old blue police box and transport it to just underneath the big pyramid floor in Giza."

This guy gets it.

I’d make sure I turned up in famous pictures / paintings wearing 21st century clothes and technology just to confuse the snot out of historians and conspiracy theorists.

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By *oTouchPleaseAndTeaseMan over a year ago

Harlow

I'd go to Wuhan about a year ago & close down a market

Result (as well as 800,000 lives) would be not losing 6 months of pleasurable encounters for one and all

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd go back to 1998 to my local cinema to see how the film Titanic ended.had to leave before the end

You'd be a bit late...the movie was out in 1997.

Google says UK release date 23 January.1998"

Well then my friend, l stand corrected ,was certain it was in 1997 l saw it in the cinema..ah well,.. appreciate the correction

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd go back to 1998 to my local cinema to see how the film Titanic ended.had to leave before the end

You'd be a bit late...the movie was out in 1997.

Google says UK release date 23 January.1998

Well then my friend, l stand corrected ,was certain it was in 1997 l saw it in the cinema..ah well,.. appreciate the correction

Unless it was released in Tipperary in 1997,could have been,as not in UK..maybe released earlier there same as goddamm America

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By *ackdaw52Man over a year ago

Chesterfield

"Brexit.

Or buy a house at 1970s prices!

You do understand that prices are all relative to earnings at the time, don't you?

My parents' mortgage was £50 a month on a £4,000 mortgage, taken out in 1970. But as dad said that was a hell of a lot of money back then as he earnt £33 a week at the time.... "

Er, yes. This is a post about time travel.

Don't watch Back to the Future, it'll really upset you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd go to my graveside the day after my funeral and nick the flowers.. so I don't have to buy any next week for my windowsill

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd travel back to the 70's,pick up a yellow pages...

Need a doorstop

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

nice