FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > So, not a couple?
So, not a couple?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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For the couples who aren't married...would you find it rude if someone was to suggest you're not a couple, as you're not married?
You know, when people suggest that you're not as committed or together, because you don't wear rings or didn't wear a pretty dress and have a big party with everyone you know.
Boils my piss!
Am I over sensitive?
Lu  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do you feel that way about fwb couples? "
The label suggests they are friends...so no, I wouldn't say that's the same as being in a long term, romantic, committed relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to work with a woman like that. She was always making digs about me living with my partner at the time without being married. She was under the impression that he was still ‘playing the field’ because we weren’t married 
Nearly blew her tiny mind when I said I didn’t know if I wanted kids  |
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I think some people concentrate too much on what's "proper" and what's not.
If I had £1 for every time I've been told I'm not a proper swinger I could get that swimming pool I've always wanted.
Sometimes I get really mad, other times I don't care. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I used to work with a woman like that. She was always making digs about me living with my partner at the time without being married. She was under the impression that he was still ‘playing the field’ because we weren’t married
Nearly blew her tiny mind when I said I didn’t know if I wanted kids "
oh tell me about it...we don't have or want kids either. People can't get their heads around it!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Plenty of married folk cheating on fab, innit.... 
Exactly! Marriage doesn't make you more committed or together."
Last woman I shagged off here was married and part of a "couple profile", but still she decided she wanted to meet alone and behind his back.... ....I know I'm just as bad as her I guess, but my point is there's strong couples and there's totally fucked up couples straddling both married and non-married....  |
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By *xmfrvnMan
over a year ago
Stoke-on-Trent |
"Do you feel that way about fwb couples?
The label suggests they are friends...so no, I wouldn't say that's the same as being in a long term, romantic, committed relationship. "
Who's to say there's not commitment? Or romance, even - I go on what you might call dates with my mates. That's the whole friends aspect of fwb. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
if you like it, then you shoulda put a ring on it oh oh oh.....just kidding 
We were together 12 years then finally did it and our kids were bridesmaids. It’s an important private, public and spiritual declaration of loyalty and sharing everything to us but no issues with people who don’t do it. You dint have to have a fancy dress or big party , but I did iron a shirt and buy her some diamonds |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do you feel that way about fwb couples?
The label suggests they are friends...so no, I wouldn't say that's the same as being in a long term, romantic, committed relationship.
Who's to say there's not commitment? Or romance, even - I go on what you might call dates with my mates. That's the whole friends aspect of fwb. "
I wouldn't say anything to anyone presuming about their relationship in reality.
But surely if you're friends with benefits and you're romantic and committed you are a couple, right? Rather than just friends?
When I was single and had FwB relationships, there was no romance, we were mates, who had sex.
That's just my perception. As I say, I wpuldnt ever presume to know more about someone else's relationship than they do.
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It's not happened to us but I think we'd be quite dismissive of somebody saying it. We know what our relationship is better than them. It sounds like a remarkably old-fashioned view. Why would they give a shit if we hadn't been through a ceremony and signed a piece of paper. |
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By *xmfrvnMan
over a year ago
Stoke-on-Trent |
"Do you feel that way about fwb couples?
The label suggests they are friends...so no, I wouldn't say that's the same as being in a long term, romantic, committed relationship.
Who's to say there's not commitment? Or romance, even - I go on what you might call dates with my mates. That's the whole friends aspect of fwb.
I wouldn't say anything to anyone presuming about their relationship in reality.
But surely if you're friends with benefits and you're romantic and committed you are a couple, right? Rather than just friends?
When I was single and had FwB relationships, there was no romance, we were mates, who had sex.
That's just my perception. As I say, I wpuldnt ever presume to know more about someone else's relationship than they do.
"
I think this highlights how ridiculous couple elitism is.
Marrieds look down on unmarried & fwb.
Marrieds & unmarrieds both look down on fwb.
Fwb don't see what the big deal is & just want to enjoy group sex with connection & rapport.
It's like how (some) gays & lesbians (& straights really) look down on/deny bisexuals.
It's all regressive & stopping people from having sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm probably not the person to ask. First time my mum got married was on her and my step dad's 21st anniversary when she was 55.
They only got married for legal reasons. |
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I was married for 13yrs. Out of that relationship since July 18.
With MrD since Nov 18.
We are more of a couple than I ever was in my pretend marriage so having a ring on the finger makes 0 difference.
Tell them to F off.
MsD x |
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I don’t think either one of us would particularly care. I don’t think it’s anyone else’s position to say what you are or are not - you define who and what you are, not some external third party.
We’ve been together well over a decade and getting married, while being a “nice thing to do” just isn’t on our priority list right now.
If not being married means we’re not a “real couple” to someone else - that sucks for them!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do you feel that way about fwb couples?
The label suggests they are friends...so no, I wouldn't say that's the same as being in a long term, romantic, committed relationship.
Who's to say there's not commitment? Or romance, even - I go on what you might call dates with my mates. That's the whole friends aspect of fwb.
I wouldn't say anything to anyone presuming about their relationship in reality.
But surely if you're friends with benefits and you're romantic and committed you are a couple, right? Rather than just friends?
When I was single and had FwB relationships, there was no romance, we were mates, who had sex.
That's just my perception. As I say, I wpuldnt ever presume to know more about someone else's relationship than they do.
I think this highlights how ridiculous couple elitism is.
Marrieds look down on unmarried & fwb.
Marrieds & unmarrieds both look down on fwb.
Fwb don't see what the big deal is & just want to enjoy group sex with connection & rapport.
It's like how (some) gays & lesbians (& straights really) look down on/deny bisexuals.
It's all regressive & stopping people from having sex. "
Ok, you're drawing your own conclusions there. Nowhere have I said or I don't think given the impression that I "look down" upon ANY relationship dynamic.
I don't consider any relationship to be less than another.
What I said was that I think being friends with someone is different to considering someone your other half. I'm my OPINION, it is. I also made it clear that I don't pass judgement or make comments to ANY couple about their relationship, because it's none of my business.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I was married for 13yrs. Out of that relationship since July 18.
With MrD since Nov 18.
We are more of a couple than I ever was in my pretend marriage so having a ring on the finger makes 0 difference.
Tell them to F off.
MsD x"
Totally agree!
Obviously we know they're talking horse shit...but that presumption just really annoys me! |
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By *xmfrvnMan
over a year ago
Stoke-on-Trent |
"Do you feel that way about fwb couples?
The label suggests they are friends...so no, I wouldn't say that's the same as being in a long term, romantic, committed relationship.
Who's to say there's not commitment? Or romance, even - I go on what you might call dates with my mates. That's the whole friends aspect of fwb.
I wouldn't say anything to anyone presuming about their relationship in reality.
But surely if you're friends with benefits and you're romantic and committed you are a couple, right? Rather than just friends?
When I was single and had FwB relationships, there was no romance, we were mates, who had sex.
That's just my perception. As I say, I wpuldnt ever presume to know more about someone else's relationship than they do.
I think this highlights how ridiculous couple elitism is.
Marrieds look down on unmarried & fwb.
Marrieds & unmarrieds both look down on fwb.
Fwb don't see what the big deal is & just want to enjoy group sex with connection & rapport.
It's like how (some) gays & lesbians (& straights really) look down on/deny bisexuals.
It's all regressive & stopping people from having sex.
Ok, you're drawing your own conclusions there. Nowhere have I said or I don't think given the impression that I "look down" upon ANY relationship dynamic.
I don't consider any relationship to be less than another.
What I said was that I think being friends with someone is different to considering someone your other half. I'm my OPINION, it is. I also made it clear that I don't pass judgement or make comments to ANY couple about their relationship, because it's none of my business.
"
Never said you did, I was generalising. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do you feel that way about fwb couples?
The label suggests they are friends...so no, I wouldn't say that's the same as being in a long term, romantic, committed relationship.
Who's to say there's not commitment? Or romance, even - I go on what you might call dates with my mates. That's the whole friends aspect of fwb.
I wouldn't say anything to anyone presuming about their relationship in reality.
But surely if you're friends with benefits and you're romantic and committed you are a couple, right? Rather than just friends?
When I was single and had FwB relationships, there was no romance, we were mates, who had sex.
That's just my perception. As I say, I wpuldnt ever presume to know more about someone else's relationship than they do.
I think this highlights how ridiculous couple elitism is.
Marrieds look down on unmarried & fwb.
Marrieds & unmarrieds both look down on fwb.
Fwb don't see what the big deal is & just want to enjoy group sex with connection & rapport.
It's like how (some) gays & lesbians (& straights really) look down on/deny bisexuals.
It's all regressive & stopping people from having sex.
Ok, you're drawing your own conclusions there. Nowhere have I said or I don't think given the impression that I "look down" upon ANY relationship dynamic.
I don't consider any relationship to be less than another.
What I said was that I think being friends with someone is different to considering someone your other half. I'm my OPINION, it is. I also made it clear that I don't pass judgement or make comments to ANY couple about their relationship, because it's none of my business.
Never said you did, I was generalising. "
Oh good! Sounded like a direct response to my comments.
Generally speaking I agree with you, just wanted to be clear that I didn't have those ideas myself  |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
I am half a couple and we have never had that said to us yet, but can see why it would annoy you
Like others said there are good and bad in all types of relationships, being married doesn't mean you have the best one etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have been told by family members I am living in sin as not married to my partner. We've both also been asked "why haven't you got married yet?", from friends of ours. Find it more amusing than anything, especially from friends that are either divorced once or twice |
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what a load of rubbish how can you get married if you havent already been in a commited relationship. We dont live together and dont give a flying fuck what anyone else thinks they should concentrate on their own lives |
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