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What are your thoughts on....
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The words “use you” ??
Good evening all. So I’ve come across this on profiles and have had messages from guys who have - as quoted said “would love to use you”
Now it comes across as very disrespectful to me, I am not a object to be used as such and most definitely do not appreciate that being said to me.
So why do some think it’s ok to say such things?
Do some of you not mind such things being said to you??
I’m here questioning everything that said to me recently  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I quite enjoy being used sometimes o.O I like it when it's all about them just having their way with me with no considerations for how I'm feeling. 
I do think it's a little crass to message people asking to use them. It's not everyone's cup of tea and I can see why it doesn't make you feel good. |
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"I blame porn (i blame porn for everything)they dont realize we are human beings. What i like in the bedroom has no resemblance to how i expect to be spoken to by someone i dont know"
I blame porn for a lot of things too.
That’s exactly it, why does someone you don’t know feel like they can say that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The words “use you” ??
Good evening all. So I’ve come across this on profiles and have had messages from guys who have - as quoted said “would love to use you”
Now it comes across as very disrespectful to me, I am not a object to be used as such and most definitely do not appreciate that being said to me.
So why do some think it’s ok to say such things?
Do some of you not mind such things being said to you??
I’m here questioning everything that said to me recently "
I’m sorry I sent you it   |
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"I quite enjoy being used sometimes o.O I like it when it's all about them just having their way with me with no considerations for how I'm feeling.
I do think it's a little crass to message people asking to use them. It's not everyone's cup of tea and I can see why it doesn't make you feel good."
I get what you’re saying, I quite like that feeling of fulling giving all purely for someone pleasure but that’s something I see with someone I’m seeing or have built something with.
Not random guys who look at your picture and want to use you  |
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"I don't like to literally be used but I find it hot in dirty talk.
So if someone was talking dirty to you on here, it’s not something you mind Lacey??"
If I've got to know them it would be a turn on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"From someone I don’t know I detest and would ignore them. From someone I’m into and have a connection with I love it."
I'll echo this! There has to be a connection there first. |
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Nah especially when it comes to a single girl playing with a couple it absolutely about all 3 of us. Sexually, intimately, everything when we have sex with a lady it should fulfil all 3 of our desires and needs not just us the couple.  |
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"Doesn't do anything for me at all, quite the opposite of the intended effect really, but each to their own and it's a natural filter...."
Puts me off for sure. I actually had to reply back to someone today and tell them that I don’t like what’s written on their profile header hence why I wouldn’t like to carry any convo on with them.
Of course they have ever right to put whatever they want on their profile but it’s not for me |
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"The words “use you” ??
Good evening all. So I’ve come across this on profiles and have had messages from guys who have - as quoted said “would love to use you”
Now it comes across as very disrespectful to me, I am not a object to be used as such and most definitely do not appreciate that being said to me.
So why do some think it’s ok to say such things?
Do some of you not mind such things being said to you??
I’m here questioning everything that said to me recently
I’m sorry I sent you it "
Hahaha you are forgiven and forgiven for falling asleep whilst chatting to me.
If anyone can’t sleep, come to me as I can bore you to bed lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I really like it sorry ladies I know it does nothing for feminism but love the phrase however I'd have to be connected to know we were playing at being used for it to be a thing. X I've been known to beg to be used eeeek! (hangs head in shame) |
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"From someone I don’t know I detest and would ignore them. From someone I’m into and have a connection with I love it."
I totally understand this...A connection is needed for such words to be used in my eyes.
I don’t personally like someone saying it to me even if I’ve got that interest though but we all have different likes |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
As ever with these things, it is about context and by whom and how it is used....by someone I know, had met and was already intimate with, then I'd find it hot in the right context - from someone random or on someone's profile it would be an instant delete...
...and that's how I would expect it to be treated by anyone I decided to use it with |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it’s out off nowhere first message then I hate it
If we been speaking for a while / meet before then love it
It’s all in the dirtyness off the context
And sometimes I just like to feel like i am whore
|
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"As ever with these things, it is about context and by whom and how it is used....by someone I know, had met and was already intimate with, then I'd find it hot in the right context - from someone random or on someone's profile it would be an instant delete...
...and that's how I would expect it to be treated by anyone I decided to use it with"
This |
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"I don't like to literally be used but I find it hot in dirty talk.
So if someone was talking dirty to you on here, it’s not something you mind Lacey??
If I've got to know them it would be a turn on. "
I see that as ok then, I’m talking about those that have it on their profile and are sending their first message to you |
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"People aren't disposable 
Whether we admit it or not, we all have feelings & should give and be given respect"
But do we have a lot on here who think people are disposable?? I sadly think that there are.
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"I don't like to literally be used but I find it hot in dirty talk.
So if someone was talking dirty to you on here, it’s not something you mind Lacey??
If I've got to know them it would be a turn on.
I see that as ok then, I’m talking about those that have it on their profile and are sending their first message to you "
There's a lot of people who don't seem to get that some kinks require connection for a lot of people and even those into it aren't likely to take it well when they don't know you. |
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"Nah especially when it comes to a single girl playing with a couple it absolutely about all 3 of us. Sexually, intimately, everything when we have sex with a lady it should fulfil all 3 of our desires and needs not just us the couple. "
I’m so glad you put your views across as a couple, you’re so right. It’s about all involved.
I can see that there are some who like the expression being used on them but only when the connection is there. I have had couples message (My thoughts are usually that it might be just a single guy hiding behind it) Where the same feel comes off their message |
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"I really like it sorry ladies I know it does nothing for feminism but love the phrase however I'd have to be connected to know we were playing at being used for it to be a thing. X I've been known to beg to be used eeeek! (hangs head in shame) "
There is no need to hang your head in shame, it’s what you like and enjoy so nothing to be ashamed of.
As you say it’s once the connection is there which of different from those that send a first message stating this. |
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Any type of first message that I find derogatory or disrespectful I automatically delete.
I want to use you
I want to cum on your face
I want to hold you down and blah blah blah
If they can't even string together a pleasant friendly introductory message then there's no hope. |
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"It’s not a phrase I like. But each to their own I guess.
I can be sub, with the right partner(s!) but I still want respect. So for me “being used” is not about respect!
"
Respect is everything, I’m not a sub as such so can’t comment on that but any form of sexual act should have that respect. |
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"In my sweetshop days on here I used to look for those who want to use and be used for throwaway sex
When all that mattered is that we both wanted to just fuck was pretty hot "
Sweet shop days
Is this different from just enjoying nsa fun, to being told that they want to use you though |
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"As ever with these things, it is about context and by whom and how it is used....by someone I know, had met and was already intimate with, then I'd find it hot in the right context - from someone random or on someone's profile it would be an instant delete...
...and that's how I would expect it to be treated by anyone I decided to use it with"
|
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"If it’s out off nowhere first message then I hate it
If we been speaking for a while / meet before then love it
It’s all in the dirtyness off the context
And sometimes I just like to feel like i am whore
"
I was aiming more at the first messages you get from someone on here.
I agree that it can be different when you know someone |
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"I don't like to literally be used but I find it hot in dirty talk.
So if someone was talking dirty to you on here, it’s not something you mind Lacey??
If I've got to know them it would be a turn on.
I see that as ok then, I’m talking about those that have it on their profile and are sending their first message to you
There's a lot of people who don't seem to get that some kinks require connection for a lot of people and even those into it aren't likely to take it well when they don't know you. "
It all boils down to that connection thing that we talk about.
It’s what makes you feel comfortable in the situation |
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"I also find it very disrespectful and will just block
Yes this. If you wouldn't say it in real life. Why do people think its OK in a message its beyond me.
"
Some feel more braver saying things behind the screen.
I agree with you though, if you can’t say it in real life why say it behind a screen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Context, basically.
I've said this and many similarly objectifying statements in the context of play with past lovers who enjoyed it within the sexual dynamic we shared.
Did I actually see them in a degraded light ?
Did I actually lack respect for them then or now ?
...No, quite the opposite in fact.
In play it heightened the energy and intensified excitement, which those familiar and experienced with the dynamic understand.
Any guy messaging it to someone he doesn't know or played in this dynamic with, is probably at best naive and at worst a deluded porn addict.
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"Any type of first message that I find derogatory or disrespectful I automatically delete.
I want to use you
I want to cum on your face
I want to hold you down and blah blah blah
If they can't even string together a pleasant friendly introductory message then there's no hope. "
Hahaha I’m totally with you on this one.
I’m afraid to even look through my message as some of them have been awful today.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If it’s out off nowhere first message then I hate it
If we been speaking for a while / meet before then love it
It’s all in the dirtyness off the context
And sometimes I just like to feel like i am whore
I was aiming more at the first messages you get from someone on here.
I agree that it can be different when you know someone "
Yes if it’s first message then I am definitely with you find it very disrespectful and would instantly block x |
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"Context, basically.
I've said this and many similarly objectifying statements in the context of play with past lovers who enjoyed it within the sexual dynamic we shared.
Did I actually see them in a degraded light ?
Did I actually lack respect for them then or now ?
...No, quite the opposite in fact.
In play it heightened the energy and intensified excitement, which those familiar and experienced with the dynamic understand.
Any guy messaging it to someone he doesn't know or played in this dynamic with, is probably at best naive and at worst a deluded porn addict.
"
I can’t comment on the first part of your message as I’ve not experienced this with anyone I’ve seen, it’s not been a kink I’m into but understand where you are coming from. You used the lovers, so that in itself says that you’ve formed some kind of bond and you both have your boundaries that you respect.
My thread was more about the one messages you get from random profiles. |
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"If it’s out off nowhere first message then I hate it
If we been speaking for a while / meet before then love it
It’s all in the dirtyness off the context
And sometimes I just like to feel like i am whore
I was aiming more at the first messages you get from someone on here.
I agree that it can be different when you know someone
Yes if it’s first message then I am definitely with you find it very disrespectful and would instantly block x"
|
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"The words “use you” ??
Good evening all. So I’ve come across this on profiles and have had messages from guys who have - as quoted said “would love to use you”
Now it comes across as very disrespectful to me, I am not a object to be used as such and most definitely do not appreciate that being said to me.
So why do some think it’s ok to say such things?
Do some of you not mind such things being said to you??
I’m here questioning everything that said to me recently "
Depends on the guy but i love the idea of being used as a sex toy. Just for their pleasure.... Fucked how and when they want (within reason of course). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Context, basically.
I've said this and many similarly objectifying statements in the context of play with past lovers who enjoyed it within the sexual dynamic we shared.
Did I actually see them in a degraded light ?
Did I actually lack respect for them then or now ?
...No, quite the opposite in fact.
In play it heightened the energy and intensified excitement, which those familiar and experienced with the dynamic understand.
Any guy messaging it to someone he doesn't know or played in this dynamic with, is probably at best naive and at worst a deluded porn addict.
I can’t comment on the first part of your message as I’ve not experienced this with anyone I’ve seen, it’s not been a kink I’m into but understand where you are coming from. You used the lovers, so that in itself says that you’ve formed some kind of bond and you both have your boundaries that you respect.
My thread was more about the one messages you get from random profiles."
As an opening message to a stranger it's definitely stupid, crass and proof they're severely lacking in a host of areas.. and the perfect candidate to be consigned to Block Button Prison. |
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"The words “use you” ??
Good evening all. So I’ve come across this on profiles and have had messages from guys who have - as quoted said “would love to use you”
Now it comes across as very disrespectful to me, I am not a object to be used as such and most definitely do not appreciate that being said to me.
So why do some think it’s ok to say such things?
Do some of you not mind such things being said to you??
I’m here questioning everything that said to me recently
Depends on the guy but i love the idea of being used as a sex toy. Just for their pleasure.... Fucked how and when they want (within reason of course). "
it’s what you enjoy.
|
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"Context, basically.
I've said this and many similarly objectifying statements in the context of play with past lovers who enjoyed it within the sexual dynamic we shared.
Did I actually see them in a degraded light ?
Did I actually lack respect for them then or now ?
...No, quite the opposite in fact.
In play it heightened the energy and intensified excitement, which those familiar and experienced with the dynamic understand.
Any guy messaging it to someone he doesn't know or played in this dynamic with, is probably at best naive and at worst a deluded porn addict.
I can’t comment on the first part of your message as I’ve not experienced this with anyone I’ve seen, it’s not been a kink I’m into but understand where you are coming from. You used the lovers, so that in itself says that you’ve formed some kind of bond and you both have your boundaries that you respect.
My thread was more about the one messages you get from random profiles.
As an opening message to a stranger it's definitely stupid, crass and proof they're severely lacking in a host of areas.. and the perfect candidate to be consigned to Block Button Prison."
The block button prison has a lot of candidates in it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I blame porn (i blame porn for everything)they dont realize we are human beings. What i like in the bedroom has no resemblance to how i expect to be spoken to by someone i dont know
I blame porn for a lot of things too.
That’s exactly it, why does someone you don’t know feel like they can say that "
This is the key thing for me...“someone you don’t know”.
I think it is disrespectful when talking to someone that you don’t know. But completely fine if both of you find that you enjoy it.
Out of interest those saying they like it...is that even from someone you have never spoken to before? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I blame porn (i blame porn for everything)they dont realize we are human beings. What i like in the bedroom has no resemblance to how i expect to be spoken to by someone i dont know
I blame porn for a lot of things too.
That’s exactly it, why does someone you don’t know feel like they can say that
This is the key thing for me...“someone you don’t know”.
I think it is disrespectful when talking to someone that you don’t know. But completely fine if both of you find that you enjoy it.
Out of interest those saying they like it...is that even from someone you have never spoken to before? "
No its definitely in the context of a guy knowing what I like n that I'd enjoy it. Along with guys that just message I want to fuck you people that message I want to use you get blocked |
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"In my sweetshop days on here I used to look for those who want to use and be used for throwaway sex
When all that mattered is that we both wanted to just fuck was pretty hot
Sweet shop days
Is this different from just enjoying nsa fun, to being told that they want to use you though "
In the early days I would have said no its not different as I wanted to use and be used so I hunted bad boys. But now I've got what I want on here I've moved on from those types of messages and look for the nice guys instead |
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"I blame porn (i blame porn for everything)they dont realize we are human beings. What i like in the bedroom has no resemblance to how i expect to be spoken to by someone i dont know
I blame porn for a lot of things too.
That’s exactly it, why does someone you don’t know feel like they can say that
This is the key thing for me...“someone you don’t know”.
I think it is disrespectful when talking to someone that you don’t know. But completely fine if both of you find that you enjoy it.
Out of interest those saying they like it...is that even from someone you have never spoken to before? "
Good to see you back on. |
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"In my sweetshop days on here I used to look for those who want to use and be used for throwaway sex
When all that mattered is that we both wanted to just fuck was pretty hot
Sweet shop days
Is this different from just enjoying nsa fun, to being told that they want to use you though
In the early days I would have said no its not different as I wanted to use and be used so I hunted bad boys. But now I've got what I want on here I've moved on from those types of messages and look for the nice guys instead"
We all have different needs and wants at different times in our life. |
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"In my sweetshop days on here I used to look for those who want to use and be used for throwaway sex
When all that mattered is that we both wanted to just fuck was pretty hot
Sweet shop days
Is this different from just enjoying nsa fun, to being told that they want to use you though
In the early days I would have said no its not different as I wanted to use and be used so I hunted bad boys. But now I've got what I want on here I've moved on from those types of messages and look for the nice guys instead
We all have different needs and wants at different times in our life. "
Yes and being honest with ourselves about those wants and needs too.
Lifes too short to not go for what you want, I remember a quote saying "dont you want to be able to look back in ten years and say yes I had the courage to do that" x |
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