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When did you last....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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....fart?
Own up you filthy lot! 
No lies either please! Even the most beautiful of fabbers can't escape bodily functions!
Did you own it? Did you try to pretend it didn't happen? Did you leave the room? Did you waft it or blame the dog? Did you make yourself sick with self loathing that you could be so disgusting? Did you ever fart during sex? Did you style it out or pretend you had squeeky soles on your shoes....? 
If you don't wanna talk about embarrassing shit like this then send vag or boobies or fab my pics and tell me I'm beautiful please, or tell me anything else you fancy really.... 
Have a super sexy Saturday evening!
Much love 
Nip x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Follow your heart
Surely it should be follow the smell?
My whole body is odourless.... 
Nevermind farts my feet are a new class of chemical warfare  "
Get out!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"about 20 seconds before reading this to quell the awful effort by the dog "
Well at least that's an admission! I bet your dog only farts to make you feel better about your own filthy self. Dogs are pleasers! |
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About 5 minutes ago. My dog keeps trying to move me off the couch by stretching. I'm sat with my legs up to the side of me so she rested her head on my legs. She was gently snoring and I couldnt hold it in any longer. I let rip and she jumped up and barked at me. I've only just stopped laughing. She keeps firing accusatory glances at me x  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"About 5 minutes ago. My dog keeps trying to move me off the couch by stretching. I'm sat with my legs up to the side of me so she rested her head on my legs. She was gently snoring and I couldnt hold it in any longer. I let rip and she jumped up and barked at me. I've only just stopped laughing. She keeps firing accusatory glances at me x "
That's proper made me laugh! Thanks for sharing
You FILTHY woman!  |
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"About 5 minutes ago. My dog keeps trying to move me off the couch by stretching. I'm sat with my legs up to the side of me so she rested her head on my legs. She was gently snoring and I couldnt hold it in any longer. I let rip and she jumped up and barked at me. I've only just stopped laughing. She keeps firing accusatory glances at me x "
Bahahaha amazing! |
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"About 5 minutes ago. My dog keeps trying to move me off the couch by stretching. I'm sat with my legs up to the side of me so she rested her head on my legs. She was gently snoring and I couldnt hold it in any longer. I let rip and she jumped up and barked at me. I've only just stopped laughing. She keeps firing accusatory glances at me x
That's proper made me laugh! Thanks for sharing
You FILTHY woman! "
Am I a bad person that I keep getting fits of the giggles when she looks at me with such disgust in her eyes. It was a noisy one, not a smelly one. Now THAT would have been funny x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In the car earlier when dropping the sons gf home I held it all the way and let it go as soon as she stepped out. My son wasn’t impressed but I said at least I held it! Damn onions at lunch |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"About 5 minutes ago. My dog keeps trying to move me off the couch by stretching. I'm sat with my legs up to the side of me so she rested her head on my legs. She was gently snoring and I couldnt hold it in any longer. I let rip and she jumped up and barked at me. I've only just stopped laughing. She keeps firing accusatory glances at me x
That's proper made me laugh! Thanks for sharing
You FILTHY woman!
Am I a bad person that I keep getting fits of the giggles when she looks at me with such disgust in her eyes. It was a noisy one, not a smelly one. Now THAT would have been funny x"
Tmi, stop making it so graphic! This thread isn't turning out how I expected at all - I was thinking to myself "nobody will admit to farting, they'll just pussy out and send vag and boobs".
How I underestimate my fab friends at times....!  |
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"About 5 minutes ago. My dog keeps trying to move me off the couch by stretching. I'm sat with my legs up to the side of me so she rested her head on my legs. She was gently snoring and I couldnt hold it in any longer. I let rip and she jumped up and barked at me. I've only just stopped laughing. She keeps firing accusatory glances at me x
That's proper made me laugh! Thanks for sharing
You FILTHY woman!
Am I a bad person that I keep getting fits of the giggles when she looks at me with such disgust in her eyes. It was a noisy one, not a smelly one. Now THAT would have been funny x
Tmi, stop making it so graphic! This thread isn't turning out how I expected at all - I was thinking to myself "nobody will admit to farting, they'll just pussy out and send vag and boobs".
How I underestimate my fab friends at times....! "
Farts are funny. End of. No matter how old you are x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In the car earlier when dropping the sons gf home I held it all the way and let it go as soon as she stepped out. My son wasn’t impressed but I said at least I held it! Damn onions at lunch "
I did a similar thing earlier, I picked my daughter up from my dad's house earlier. We all had lunch, went out together for a walk and I was avoiding farting for some odd reason (I don't swear in front of my dad either, I think I must be totally suppressed), then as soon as I got in the car with my girl to go home, I was like "pull my finger quick darling!!!"....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was watching porn the other night (for research purposes ) and I kept clicking links until eventually I ended up on a fart porn compilation. It was the funniest ten minutes of my porn watching life! . I shared it with all my friends to spread the joy. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I was watching porn the other night (for research purposes ) and I kept clicking links until eventually I ended up on a fart porn compilation. It was the funniest ten minutes of my porn watching life! . I shared it with all my friends to spread the joy. "
The places you end up when "innocently" searching porn....!
(send vag.... ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was watching porn the other night (for research purposes ) and I kept clicking links until eventually I ended up on a fart porn compilation. It was the funniest ten minutes of my porn watching life! . I shared it with all my friends to spread the joy.
The places you end up when "innocently" searching porn....!
(send vag.... )"
Check your inbox! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I was watching porn the other night (for research purposes ) and I kept clicking links until eventually I ended up on a fart porn compilation. It was the funniest ten minutes of my porn watching life! . I shared it with all my friends to spread the joy.
The places you end up when "innocently" searching porn....!
(send vag.... )
Check your inbox! "
Not more VEG ffs....
VAG! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was watching porn the other night (for research purposes ) and I kept clicking links until eventually I ended up on a fart porn compilation. It was the funniest ten minutes of my porn watching life! . I shared it with all my friends to spread the joy.
The places you end up when "innocently" searching porn....!
(send vag.... )
Check your inbox!
Not more VEG ffs....
VAG! "
Ooops. Must be your accent! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I was watching porn the other night (for research purposes ) and I kept clicking links until eventually I ended up on a fart porn compilation. It was the funniest ten minutes of my porn watching life! . I shared it with all my friends to spread the joy.
The places you end up when "innocently" searching porn....!
(send vag.... )
Check your inbox!
Not more VEG ffs....
VAG!
Ooops. Must be your accent! "
Much better! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"When I had a shit this morning, but I've had a bad tummy for a few days, due to having a cold working its way 'through me'
Enough info for you? "
That's so fucking hot!
Will you be sending boobs now my lovely....? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When I had a shit this morning, but I've had a bad tummy for a few days, due to having a cold working its way 'through me'
Enough info for you?
That's so fucking hot!
Will you be sending boobs now my lovely....? "
You are on my friends list so you can see my tits anytime. Stop being lazy |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"When I had a shit this morning, but I've had a bad tummy for a few days, due to having a cold working its way 'through me'
Enough info for you?
That's so fucking hot!
Will you be sending boobs now my lovely....?
You are on my friends list so you can see my tits anytime. Stop being lazy"
Those are tits for anyone my lovely. I want personal boobs, I'm a needy friend like that.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I could feel one coming on and I'm happy to report that I have sneezed and it's all good now "
Next you'll be doing videos like on the voice recording threads....
Glad you relieved yourself.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I take it all back....
(hangs head in shame....)
Lift your head and be proud.
That is a mantra for people doing pop offs "
Omg is that what you call them....?
How very polite!
Boobs then....? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I take it all back....
(hangs head in shame....)
Lift your head and be proud.
That is a mantra for people doing pop offs
Omg is that what you call them....?
How very polite!
Boobs then....? "
You should know I would be innocent with my trump names |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I take it all back....
(hangs head in shame....)
Lift your head and be proud.
That is a mantra for people doing pop offs
Omg is that what you call them....?
How very polite!
Boobs then....?
You should know I would be innocent with my trump names "
Trump carries a lot of guilt, but that's another adult conversation.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I take it all back....
(hangs head in shame....)
Lift your head and be proud.
That is a mantra for people doing pop offs
Omg is that what you call them....?
How very polite!
Boobs then....?
You should know I would be innocent with my trump names
Trump carries a lot of guilt, but that's another adult conversation.... "
I do enjoy an "adult" conversation |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Here she blows "
Stoppitttt!
A friend of mine on here got a little cross with me for posting this thread. She's said it wasn't something a grown man should be doing.... |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"Here she blows
Stoppitttt!
A friend of mine on here got a little cross with me for posting this thread. She's said it wasn't something a grown man should be doing.... "
A grown man cant have fun? |
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"Here she blows
Stoppitttt!
A friend of mine on here got a little cross with me for posting this thread. She's said it wasn't something a grown man should be doing.... "
It wasn't your not-Mum, Nippy? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Here she blows
Stoppitttt!
A friend of mine on here got a little cross with me for posting this thread. She's said it wasn't something a grown man should be doing....
It wasn't your not-Mum, Nippy? "
I don't have a fab mum anymore. I'm open to offers..... |
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"Here she blows
Stoppitttt!
A friend of mine on here got a little cross with me for posting this thread. She's said it wasn't something a grown man should be doing....
It wasn't your not-Mum, Nippy?
I don't have a fab mum anymore. I'm open to offers..... "
Nippy, I'm younger than you  |
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"Here she blows
Stoppitttt!
A friend of mine on here got a little cross with me for posting this thread. She's said it wasn't something a grown man should be doing.... "
And I brewed this especially for you  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Here she blows
Stoppitttt!
A friend of mine on here got a little cross with me for posting this thread. She's said it wasn't something a grown man should be doing....
It wasn't your not-Mum, Nippy?
I don't have a fab mum anymore. I'm open to offers.....
Nippy, I'm younger than you "
Shushhhhhhhh! Most fabbers are....
(that's because I'm an old fart, innit....) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Here she blows
Stoppitttt!
A friend of mine on here got a little cross with me for posting this thread. She's said it wasn't something a grown man should be doing....
And I brewed this especially for you "
I've opened Pandora's box. Can we just have fabulous morning sex and forget about this thread now plz.... |
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"Last night - I specifically made the journey to my sons room to expell it - it is kind of an inhouse competition I am so immature "
We do this
Theres a bit of a competition between us, with various points too for open mouth bombs etc etc |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Last night - I specifically made the journey to my sons room to expell it - it is kind of an inhouse competition I am so immature
We do this
Theres a bit of a competition between us, with various points too for open mouth bombs etc etc "
Stop this madness and send me boobs now plz....?
Hearts not farts! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Last night - I specifically made the journey to my sons room to expell it - it is kind of an inhouse competition I am so immature
Disgusting!
Yep "
Send vag ffs,this thread needs rebalancing.... |
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"Last night - I specifically made the journey to my sons room to expell it - it is kind of an inhouse competition I am so immature
Disgusting!
Yep
Send vag ffs,this thread needs rebalancing...."
Hahaha nice try! Friends only pics those are |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Last night - I specifically made the journey to my sons room to expell it - it is kind of an inhouse competition I am so immature
Disgusting!
Yep
Send vag ffs,this thread needs rebalancing....
Hahaha nice try! Friends only pics those are "
Can I translate that as send me an invite? |
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"Last night - I specifically made the journey to my sons room to expell it - it is kind of an inhouse competition I am so immature
Disgusting!
Yep
Send vag ffs,this thread needs rebalancing....
Hahaha nice try! Friends only pics those are
Can I translate that as send me an invite?
"
I believe you can was it subtle enough? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Last night - I specifically made the journey to my sons room to expell it - it is kind of an inhouse competition I am so immature
Disgusting!
Yep
Send vag ffs,this thread needs rebalancing....
Hahaha nice try! Friends only pics those are
Can I translate that as send me an invite?
I believe you can was it subtle enough? "
Subtlety isn't my specialty....
(sent) |
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"Last night - I specifically made the journey to my sons room to expell it - it is kind of an inhouse competition I am so immature
Disgusting!
Yep
Send vag ffs,this thread needs rebalancing....
Hahaha nice try! Friends only pics those are
Can I translate that as send me an invite?
I believe you can was it subtle enough?
Subtlety isn't my specialty....
(sent) "
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Last night - I specifically made the journey to my sons room to expell it - it is kind of an inhouse competition I am so immature
Disgusting!
Yep
Send vag ffs,this thread needs rebalancing....
Hahaha nice try! Friends only pics those are
Can I translate that as send me an invite?
I believe you can was it subtle enough?
Subtlety isn't my specialty....
(sent)
"
Totally just fabbed your fanny! Thanks beautiful.... |
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"Last night - I specifically made the journey to my sons room to expell it - it is kind of an inhouse competition I am so immature
Disgusting!
Yep
Send vag ffs,this thread needs rebalancing....
Hahaha nice try! Friends only pics those are
Can I translate that as send me an invite?
I believe you can was it subtle enough?
Subtlety isn't my specialty....
(sent)
Totally just fabbed your fanny! Thanks beautiful.... "
Welcome |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Well I used to cough to cover the fart.
Now I fart to cover the Cough.
Sorry couldn't resist re-telling the COVID-19 joke to hear you all groan.
Have fun this weekend."
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just the average one about an hour ago. Nothing special and did not smell....I think.
Hope the library attendees were not too offended. "
Omg you exhibitionist! In public! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A lady never farts
What do they do, sneeze it out?
No, we have bottom coughs
I could give you some syrup for that...
Sugar free? "
Apparently it's low in calories, that's what my ex used to say anyway... |
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