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How long?

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple  over a year ago

La la land

Was talking to a friend earlier, who said they give good advice though they rarely take their own. Which I'm guilty of too, so I realised I'm my own harshest critic.

If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would  allow this person to be your friend?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

They would be my friend forever

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think it would also depend on how long you had been friends for. Also, how open you are to criticism in general. Sometimes you just need someone else to say what you are thinking to give you that kick you need.

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple  over a year ago

La la land


"They would be my friend forever "

I'd probably would have told myself that I was an utter twat to be honest

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By *ily WhiteWoman  over a year ago

?

We'd be friends for life because I greatly value honesty. I don't call many people true friends (I have lots of acquaintances), but those I do tend to be the people that tell me when I'm being an arsehole

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By *riar BelisseWoman  over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

My best friends are as blunt and straight talking as me and I value their opinions, wishy washy I'm not sure answers are the ones that infuriate me

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

BUT.... there is a difference between genuine constructive criticism and pure nastiness!

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple  over a year ago

La la land


"I think it would also depend on how long you had been friends for. Also, how open you are to criticism in general. Sometimes you just need someone else to say what you are thinking to give you that kick you need.

"

Oh hell yeah, I've got a couple of these sort of friends they're awesome

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By *nabelle21Woman  over a year ago

B38

If they were a friend then I'd expect to be called out if my behaviour warranted it. As I would them!

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By *eliWoman  over a year ago

.

Probably a long time. I can be really kind and I make myself laugh a lot. And I'm harsh at times but with love and that reminds me of Incandescent who I adore. I'd probably tell myself to be quiet/ignore me a bit when I'm anxiety spiralling.

So yeah, I'd be friends with me. Just mute myself occasionally.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"We'd be friends for life because I greatly value honesty. I don't call many people true friends (I have lots of acquaintances), but those I do tend to be the people that tell me when I'm being an arsehole "

You're being an arsehole

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm happy with criticism regardless of content, just how its delivered?

They say friends talk to you, not about you.

My answer? I'd probably slap them when I'm tired but accept their brutal honesty as I know why its being said.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If they are a friend of expect them to call me out on things - perhaps give me some harsh truths.

That kind of friendship is rare and I'd keep it for as long as I could

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple  over a year ago

La la land


"Probably a long time. I can be really kind and I make myself laugh a lot. And I'm harsh at times but with love and that reminds me of Incandescent who I adore. I'd probably tell myself to be quiet/ignore me a bit when I'm anxiety spiralling.

So yeah, I'd be friends with me. Just mute myself occasionally. "

I'm a bit overly critical of myself at times. And most definitely need someone to tell me when I'm being an arse to myself

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By *ily WhiteWoman  over a year ago

?


"We'd be friends for life because I greatly value honesty. I don't call many people true friends (I have lots of acquaintances), but those I do tend to be the people that tell me when I'm being an arsehole

You're being an arsehole "

I generally am...usually means I'm poorly if I'm not

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My best friends are as blunt and straight talking as me and I value their opinions, wishy washy I'm not sure answers are the ones that infuriate me"

That thing you asked me to do? Yeah, not sure really. I might be keen but then again ... how safe did you say it was? Sure, really? Hmmmm I'll think about it a bit more ...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"We'd be friends for life because I greatly value honesty. I don't call many people true friends (I have lots of acquaintances), but those I do tend to be the people that tell me when I'm being an arsehole

You're being an arsehole

I generally am...usually means I'm poorly if I'm not "

Still gorgeous though

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By *ed VoluptaWoman  over a year ago

Wirral.


"Was talking to a friend earlier, who said they give good advice though they rarely take their own. Which I'm guilty of too, so I realised I'm my own harshest critic.

If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would  allow this person to be your friend?

Im so guilty of this. And has led me to seeking counselling, before now. I'd never berate a friend to the extent I silently punish myself. I wish I could stop as it's just insidious. I think it stems from never feeling good enough. But I'm slowly learning to silent that voice and love myself x

"

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By *hunky GentMan  over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Forever - I'm just the most amazing person......ever.

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple  over a year ago

La la land


"Was talking to a friend earlier, who said they give good advice though they rarely take their own. Which I'm guilty of too, so I realised I'm my own harshest critic.

If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would  allow this person to be your friend?

Im so guilty of this. And has led me to seeking counselling, before now. I'd never berate a friend to the extent I silently punish myself. I wish I could stop as it's just insidious. I think it stems from never feeling good enough. But I'm slowly learning to silent that voice and love myself x

"

This is exactly what I was getting at, in my poorly worded OP. I totally understand this, was told off my a friend earlier for being too harsh on myself. And yes we should try to treat ourselves how we treat others x

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple  over a year ago

La la land


" I'm happy with criticism regardless of content, just how its delivered?

They say friends talk to you, not about you.

My answer? I'd probably slap them when I'm tired but accept their brutal honesty as I know why its being said."

That's a good way to be, got to cherish those kind of friends

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple  over a year ago

La la land


"If they are a friend of expect them to call me out on things - perhaps give me some harsh truths.

That kind of friendship is rare and I'd keep it for as long as I could "

Me too

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By *ed VoluptaWoman  over a year ago

Wirral.


"Was talking to a friend earlier, who said they give good advice though they rarely take their own. Which I'm guilty of too, so I realised I'm my own harshest critic.

If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would  allow this person to be your friend?

Im so guilty of this. And has led me to seeking counselling, before now. I'd never berate a friend to the extent I silently punish myself. I wish I could stop as it's just insidious. I think it stems from never feeling good enough. But I'm slowly learning to silent that voice and love myself x

This is exactly what I was getting at, in my poorly worded OP. I totally understand this, was told off my a friend earlier for being too harsh on myself. And yes we should try to treat ourselves how we treat others x"

It's just hard, isn't it? My counsellor used to make me visualise me saying those things to myself as a young girl. That brought it home.

But yes, learning to love and accept yourself is hard. But you seem lovely & amazingly kind xx

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple  over a year ago

La la land


"If they were a friend then I'd expect to be called out if my behaviour warranted it. As I would them!"

Always has to be a two way street with friendship

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple  over a year ago

La la land


"Was talking to a friend earlier, who said they give good advice though they rarely take their own. Which I'm guilty of too, so I realised I'm my own harshest critic.

If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would  allow this person to be your friend?

Im so guilty of this. And has led me to seeking counselling, before now. I'd never berate a friend to the extent I silently punish myself. I wish I could stop as it's just insidious. I think it stems from never feeling good enough. But I'm slowly learning to silent that voice and love myself x

This is exactly what I was getting at, in my poorly worded OP. I totally understand this, was told off my a friend earlier for being too harsh on myself. And yes we should try to treat ourselves how we treat others x

It's just hard, isn't it? My counsellor used to make me visualise me saying those things to myself as a young girl. That brought it home.

But yes, learning to love and accept yourself is hard. But you seem lovely & amazingly kind xx"

That's a really good analogy, going to steal that. Thank you that is very kind of you to say x

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple  over a year ago

La la land


"My best friends are as blunt and straight talking as me and I value their opinions, wishy washy I'm not sure answers are the ones that infuriate me"

Never ask what I want for tea

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I forgive easily. But would fall out weekly

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple  over a year ago

La la land


"I forgive easily. But would fall out weekly "

I like this

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I forgive easily. But would fall out weekly

I like this "

Thankyou. I love your profile. One of the best on here x

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By *ed VoluptaWoman  over a year ago

Wirral.


"Was talking to a friend earlier, who said they give good advice though they rarely take their own. Which I'm guilty of too, so I realised I'm my own harshest critic.

If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would  allow this person to be your friend?

Im so guilty of this. And has led me to seeking counselling, before now. I'd never berate a friend to the extent I silently punish myself. I wish I could stop as it's just insidious. I think it stems from never feeling good enough. But I'm slowly learning to silent that voice and love myself x

This is exactly what I was getting at, in my poorly worded OP. I totally understand this, was told off my a friend earlier for being too harsh on myself. And yes we should try to treat ourselves how we treat others x

It's just hard, isn't it? My counsellor used to make me visualise me saying those things to myself as a young girl. That brought it home.

But yes, learning to love and accept yourself is hard. But you seem lovely & amazingly kind xx

That's a really good analogy, going to steal that. Thank you that is very kind of you to say x"

You're welcome. Hope it helps xx

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By *asilyled1Man  over a year ago

ogmore valley

Good point f. I consider myself loyal and would give my true friends all I have,but I can be too harsh on myself way too often.

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By *VineMan  over a year ago

The right place

I have learned to be very kind and forgiving to myself. I’d love a friend like me!

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple  over a year ago

La la land


"Good point f. I consider myself loyal and would give my true friends all I have,but I can be too harsh on myself way too often. "

I know, it's like you'd never be that harsh to your friends but happily be to yourself

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple  over a year ago

La la land


"I have learned to be very kind and forgiving to myself. I’d love a friend like me! "

Something I need to learn

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By *asilyled1Man  over a year ago

ogmore valley


"Good point f. I consider myself loyal and would give my true friends all I have,but I can be too harsh on myself way too often.

I know, it's like you'd never be that harsh to your friends but happily be to yourself"

Exactly. Although pretty much in a good place right now,and starting to feel like I am what I am.

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple  over a year ago

La la land


"Good point f. I consider myself loyal and would give my true friends all I have,but I can be too harsh on myself way too often.

I know, it's like you'd never be that harsh to your friends but happily be to yourself

Exactly. Although pretty much in a good place right now,and starting to feel like I am what I am."

Given me a earworm now grr. But that's awesome M big cwtch

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By *asilyled1Man  over a year ago

ogmore valley

Ear worm!!??

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple  over a year ago

La la land


"Ear worm!!?? "

https://youtu.be/zreTvtpTeoU

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By *asilyled1Man  over a year ago

ogmore valley

I’m pressing it and it’s not doing anything!!

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By *otsossieMan  over a year ago

Chesterfield

No, links don’t work. You’ll have to copy and paste.

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By *asilyled1Man  over a year ago

ogmore valley


"No, links don’t work. You’ll have to copy and paste. "

I have no idea how to do that

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By *he Mac LassWoman  over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

We've been friends for almost 20 years and I wouldn't be without him. He is probably the only one to ever get away with telling me what I don't want to hear.

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple  over a year ago

La la land


"We've been friends for almost 20 years and I wouldn't be without him. He is probably the only one to ever get away with telling me what I don't want to hear. "

These kinds of friendship are the best.

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I wouldn't put up with that shit from other people.

Don't let the door hit you where the good lord split you.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Probably a long time. I can be really kind and I make myself laugh a lot. And I'm harsh at times but with love and that reminds me of Incandescent who I adore. I'd probably tell myself to be quiet/ignore me a bit when I'm anxiety spiralling.

So yeah, I'd be friends with me. Just mute myself occasionally. "

Love you too and how you put me in my place when necessary

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We'd probably progress to lovers! I'm perfect....!

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple  over a year ago

La la land


"I wouldn't put up with that shit from other people.

Don't let the door hit you where the good lord split you."

I have days like this, I can be an utter cow to myself

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple  over a year ago

La la land


"We'd probably progress to lovers! I'm perfect....! "

Of course you are lovely

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"We'd probably progress to lovers! I'm perfect....!

Of course you are lovely "

When are we fucking? We've been friends for like a year now....

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I wouldn't put up with that shit from other people.

Don't let the door hit you where the good lord split you.

I have days like this, I can be an utter cow to myself"

I have decades like this

I've got it handled. Mostly. But my internal critic is a psychopath.

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple  over a year ago

La la land


"We'd probably progress to lovers! I'm perfect....!

Of course you are lovely

When are we fucking? We've been friends for like a year now...."

I know such a long time to put up with you, has it been a year already? Wow

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