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The old ones are the best

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Girlfriend of mine used to have a tattoo of a sea shell on the inside of her thigh. It's true what they say, if you hold a sea shell to your ear you can smell the sea

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Dunno about smelling the sea, but that running water noise is her pissing in your ear.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A friend years ago was going to have a dolphin just over the belly button and the tattooist ask her if she's ever going to get pregnant as it'll be a whale then

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I was gonna do a Stevo and have your name tattooed on my arse! Didn't in the end...

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

A Scotsman is touring the USA in 1989, when he drops into a bar for a drink. At the far end of the bar is a quiet Apache native American. The Scotsman asks the bartender "Who's the big fella in the corner?". The bartender replies "The Apache? He's the amazing memory man. Ask him any question. If he can't answer, he'll buy you a drink. If he can, you buy him a drink."

The Scotsman thinks of a hard question, and then - certain he's going to win a free drink - approaches the Apache.

"Who scored the winning goal for Patrick Thistle in the game against Hamilton Accies in the Scottish Cup quarter-final in 1962?"

Quick as a flash, the Apache replies "Tom Cowie. Bartender! Whiskey!"

30 years pass, and the same Scotsman is once again visiting the States. He goes to the same bar and is shocked to see the same Apache.

He decides to say hello by using the traditional Apache greeting. So he approaches the guy with his hand raised and says "How!"

Quick as a flash, the Apache replies "Diving header. Bartender! Whiskey

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By *lbinoGorillaMan  over a year ago

Redditch

I was going to have a "W" tattooed on each buttock so that when I bend down it'll say "wow"

I also thought about having my ex girlfriend's name tattooed on my cock. Fortunately it was too many letters....

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By *elle xWoman  over a year ago

Doire Theas

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Oh is this a joke thread? Sorry in a food coma and not reading it properly

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

If anyone wants to come and talk to me about my shoddy joinery work, my door is always open!

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By *lbinoGorillaMan  over a year ago

Redditch

What do you call a high court judge with no fingers?

Justice Thumbs

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was going to have a "W" tattooed on each buttock so that when I bend down it'll say "wow"

I also thought about having my ex girlfriend's name tattooed on my cock. Fortunately it was too many letters.... "

Eve

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By *orny PTMan  over a year ago

Peterborough

Pungent

noun:

a bloke who tells rotten jokes.

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By *lbinoGorillaMan  over a year ago

Redditch


"I was going to have a "W" tattooed on each buttock so that when I bend down it'll say "wow"

I also thought about having my ex girlfriend's name tattooed on my cock. Fortunately it was too many letters....

Eve "

How very dare you!

It was Evie....

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