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Singles/couples who swing
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I've been musing on this topic since watching the Swingers doc (I do like a wee muse). The swinging experience seems so completely different for couples and for single people.
If you're a couple who swings, do you think you'd still be on the scene if you were single? And vice versa? If not, why not?
Mrs TMN x |
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I have been on the scene 8 years through relationships and being single. I took a break due to one relationship with a guy who wanted monogamy only to get cheated on. Don't think I'm likely to compromise on that again as I'm much happier non-monogamous. |
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If I were in serious relationship It would be on the proviso that I have a boyfriend as well and he would have a girlfriend too if he wishes, we could go to clubs and full swop, seek our own singles, hot husbands, hotwives etc etc
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I've been on the scene for 20 years, and started out as part of a couple. I find it completely different as a single...more fun in a way as there's only me to consider and please.
If I met someone I'd take time away from here to establish our bond, and then come back to it if we both wanted to - if not I'd be quite happy to leave it behind for the right person. |
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Doing this as part of a couple sometimes I look at singles and think it would be great to be doing this as a single. In reality I don't know if it is something I would want to do long term on my own. A big part of this for me is that we do it together, I don't know if it would have the same appeal for long as a single.
K x |
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"I'd want to still swing as a couple but honestly don't know how I'd feel if I met someone I'd want to be in a couple with. No help, sorry x"
That's OK, you don't need to be a help, I'm genuinely intrigued! What would hold you back, do you think? X |
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"I have been on the scene 8 years through relationships and being single. I took a break due to one relationship with a guy who wanted monogamy only to get cheated on. Don't think I'm likely to compromise on that again as I'm much happier non-monogamous. "
Interesting. I put you in a slightly different headspace to most of us, being poly (have I got that right?  ) |
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"If I were in serious relationship It would be on the proviso that I have a boyfriend as well and he would have a girlfriend too if he wishes, we could go to clubs and full swop, seek our own singles, hot husbands, hotwives etc etc
"
Is that something you're seeking for, or would like? |
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"I've been on the scene for 20 years, and started out as part of a couple. I find it completely different as a single...more fun in a way as there's only me to consider and please.
If I met someone I'd take time away from here to establish our bond, and then come back to it if we both wanted to - if not I'd be quite happy to leave it behind for the right person. "
Ah, you've been in both positions! I can see it might be easier with only one person to consider  Do you miss the reclamation aspect at all, or was that not a big part of it for you as a couple? |
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"I'd want to still swing as a couple but honestly don't know how I'd feel if I met someone I'd want to be in a couple with. No help, sorry x
That's OK, you don't need to be a help, I'm genuinely intrigued! What would hold you back, do you think? X"
Would depend on how we both felt I suppose. Good advice saying take time for each other then swing, but I was with my ex most of my adult life, 24 years, I'm enjoying being sexually adventurous. I'd hope to meet someone on/in the scene already. But, as I say, I have no idea how I will feel when/if I meet someone who I develop feelings for x |
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"Doing this as part of a couple sometimes I look at singles and think it would be great to be doing this as a single. In reality I don't know if it is something I would want to do long term on my own. A big part of this for me is that we do it together, I don't know if it would have the same appeal for long as a single.
K x"
What appeals to you about doing it as a single? I'm similar to you I think, I don't know if I'd want to do it long term as a single and I do love that we do it together. Brings us closer as a couple. X |
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"I don't think I would have entered the scene if I wasn't for M. But I don't think I would ever leave it now "
That is a big statement!
Why don't you think you would have done it without him? And what keeps you here? X |
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By *icearmsMan
over a year ago
KIDLINGTON |
If I found the one, then I would consider swinging with them. I think there is a great social side to swinging that would be enhanced as being part of a couple.
The only proviso to swinging being that we go home together at the end of the event.. |
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"I'd want to still swing as a couple but honestly don't know how I'd feel if I met someone I'd want to be in a couple with. No help, sorry x
That's OK, you don't need to be a help, I'm genuinely intrigued! What would hold you back, do you think? X
Would depend on how we both felt I suppose. Good advice saying take time for each other then swing, but I was with my ex most of my adult life, 24 years, I'm enjoying being sexually adventurous. I'd hope to meet someone on/in the scene already. But, as I say, I have no idea how I will feel when/if I meet someone who I develop feelings for x"
Ah, gotcha. Thank you x |
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"I don't think I would have entered the scene if I wasn't for M. But I don't think I would ever leave it now
That is a big statement!
Why don't you think you would have done it without him? And what keeps you here? X"
It is, but it was insecurity only ever been with my ex husband so wouldn't have had the confidence. What keeps me here is the feeling of fellowship and understanding of others about the way I am and my kinks  |
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"If I found the one, then I would consider swinging with them. I think there is a great social side to swinging that would be enhanced as being part of a couple.
The only proviso to swinging being that we go home together at the end of the event.. "
That's our set up. We always reconnect at the end. X |
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"I don't think I would have entered the scene if I wasn't for M. But I don't think I would ever leave it now
That is a big statement!
Why don't you think you would have done it without him? And what keeps you here? X
It is, but it was insecurity only ever been with my ex husband so wouldn't have had the confidence. What keeps me here is the feeling of fellowship and understanding of others about the way I am and my kinks "
I can identify - I love being able to fling the true me into the spotlight on here with people who get it x |
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By *icearmsMan
over a year ago
KIDLINGTON |
"If I found the one, then I would consider swinging with them. I think there is a great social side to swinging that would be enhanced as being part of a couple.
The only proviso to swinging being that we go home together at the end of the event..
That's our set up. We always reconnect at the end. X"
Yeah call it what you want.. but we would have reclaim sex afterwards when we got home. But during an event we could play with whom we liked or together if we desired. Reclaim sex will bring our normal life back to reality.
May sound silly but I think it could work. |
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"I don't think I would have entered the scene if I wasn't for M. But I don't think I would ever leave it now
That is a big statement!
Why don't you think you would have done it without him? And what keeps you here? X
It is, but it was insecurity only ever been with my ex husband so wouldn't have had the confidence. What keeps me here is the feeling of fellowship and understanding of others about the way I am and my kinks
I can identify - I love being able to fling the true me into the spotlight on here with people who get it x"
That's the thing, I can say something and yeah some may thing I'm a weirdo on here but equally there will be people who understand me |
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"I am a single guy and find it hard to be accepted as genuine on here. My ultimate would be to meet a partner who I could share this with x"
I think it's a tough gig for single guys. I guess if you're looking for a swinging partner, it's a good place to look |
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"If I found the one, then I would consider swinging with them. I think there is a great social side to swinging that would be enhanced as being part of a couple.
The only proviso to swinging being that we go home together at the end of the event..
That's our set up. We always reconnect at the end. X
Yeah call it what you want.. but we would have reclaim sex afterwards when we got home. But during an event we could play with whom we liked or together if we desired. Reclaim sex will bring our normal life back to reality.
May sound silly but I think it could work. "
It doesn't sound silly at all, it works for us! X |
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"I have been on the scene 8 years through relationships and being single. I took a break due to one relationship with a guy who wanted monogamy only to get cheated on. Don't think I'm likely to compromise on that again as I'm much happier non-monogamous.
Interesting. I put you in a slightly different headspace to most of us, being poly (have I got that right? ) "
Haha right about the poly bit. Not sure about the headspace bit. |
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"I don't think I would have entered the scene if I wasn't for M. But I don't think I would ever leave it now
That is a big statement!
Why don't you think you would have done it without him? And what keeps you here? X
It is, but it was insecurity only ever been with my ex husband so wouldn't have had the confidence. What keeps me here is the feeling of fellowship and understanding of others about the way I am and my kinks
I can identify - I love being able to fling the true me into the spotlight on here with people who get it x
That's the thing, I can say something and yeah some may thing I'm a weirdo on here but equally there will be people who understand me "
Ach that's people in general though, I'm sure plenty people think I'm a weirdo on here and in the rest of my life! Then there are those who don't, who get me, and those are the ones that count. X |
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"Doing this as part of a couple sometimes I look at singles and think it would be great to be doing this as a single. In reality I don't know if it is something I would want to do long term on my own. A big part of this for me is that we do it together, I don't know if it would have the same appeal for long as a single.
K x
What appeals to you about doing it as a single? I'm similar to you I think, I don't know if I'd want to do it long term as a single and I do love that we do it together. Brings us closer as a couple. X"
Well selfishly it would be nice to see what it is like on here when it is just about me doing completely what I want to do  It can be hard on here sometimes as a couple as a lot of people arn't interested. I think though once I got it out of my system I would be bored of it all and want someone to share it with x |
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"I've been musing on this topic since watching the Swingers doc (I do like a wee muse). The swinging experience seems so completely different for couples and for single people.
If you're a couple who swings, do you think you'd still be on the scene if you were single? And vice versa? If not, why not?
Mrs TMN x"
I (Luke) was on the scene when I was single and if I were single I would stay on it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It was much more fun as a couple. Sharing the experience and the reclaim sex is amazing. 
It didn't end badly, just ended naturally. But I wouldn't have a future relationship with a swinger as I wouldn't trust them. |
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