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It's my Birthday ...

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

next year and I need to start an early list to give you time to get it all .....

I'll start with one fuck off large creamy cake that'll give me death by goo ........

what else will you get for me ?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

First COVID-19 vaccination

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By *innie The MinxWoman  over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Ooh will it be "Telegram from The Queen" year GC?

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By *ex HolesMan  over a year ago

Up North

That’s uncanny that we both don’t have our birthdays on the same day

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West

Death by goo? Kinky Granny

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Pack of indigestion tablets for when you’ve eaten the cake

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By *uke olovingmanMan  over a year ago

Gravesend

I'd like death by lady goo .. what a way to go...or death by snu snu

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"First COVID-19 vaccination "

Are you trying to kill me ?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"First COVID-19 vaccination

Are you trying to kill me ?"

Protect you

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Ooh will it be "Telegram from The Queen" year GC? "

Yeah ..... she's on the blower now asking me what colour I like.

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"That’s uncanny that we both don’t have our birthdays on the same day "

Uncanny is right ! I have a teeny penis tooooooo

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Death by goo? Kinky Granny "

Kinky by name Kinky by name ......

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Pack of indigestion tablets for when you’ve eaten the cake "

Best idea yet...... and a bottle of brandy to wash them down

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"next year and I need to start an early list to give you time to get it all .....

I'll start with one fuck off large creamy cake that'll give me death by goo ........

what else will you get for me ?"

A wet wipe

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"next year and I need to start an early list to give you time to get it all .....

I'll start with one fuck off large creamy cake that'll give me death by goo ........

what else will you get for me ?

A wet wipe "

You dirty boy ......

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West

I'll get you a set of finest wind chimes

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"next year and I need to start an early list to give you time to get it all .....

I'll start with one fuck off large creamy cake that'll give me death by goo ........

what else will you get for me ?

A wet wipe

You dirty boy ...... "

No to wipe the goo off lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

What else would you like, Granny?

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By *hunky GentMan  over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Happy birthday young lady. X

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

And happy birthday to you!

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By *aul1973HullMan  over a year ago

East Hull

A hunky kiss-a-gran (not a typo)

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Planning on giving you the bumps with a small group of well endowed men.

Or a waterstone's book voucher, can't decide...

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By *ex HolesMan  over a year ago

Up North


"That’s uncanny that we both don’t have our birthdays on the same day

Uncanny is right ! I have a teeny penis tooooooo "

That’s below the belt

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By *harpDressed ManMan  over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

A second helping, Granny..

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A large hot crumpet soaked in maybe honey with candles burning a sweet scent all around its central plinth..howsat!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A chicken named Colin

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It's my birthday soon and because this year has been so shit, I refuse to count it and I will not be ageing this year.

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"I'll get you a set of finest wind chimes "

NO.......

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"I'll get you a set of finest wind chimes

NO....... "

I don't have the receipt

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"What else would you like, Granny? "

I would like...... to go with my cake ....

A bag of chips ..... from a chippy. With one of those tiddly plazzy forks....... thanks

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"A chicken named Colin "

God you must be old, old, old.

I miss all the Colins... up bras, down drawers......

I actually drove to St. Helens to get Colin. It was like a day out. There were no local Colins

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"A large hot crumpet soaked in maybe honey with candles burning a sweet scent all around its central plinth..howsat!! "

Crumpets are the yeast snot of the devil , honey is sugar disguised as bee shit and candles are the fat rendered fat of dead animals slaughtered so that all their body parts can yield dollars and pounds for the capitalist.

But I won't say that........ I'll do the ubiquitious ..... Oooooooooooo lovely, how did you know that's what I wanted Love it !!!!

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"A second helping, Granny.. "

Gosh someone who knows good things keep coming around ...... winky winky

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"A chicken named Colin

God you must be old, old, old.

I miss all the Colins... up bras, down drawers......

I actually drove to St. Helens to get Colin. It was like a day out. There were no local Colins"

I am very old old old.

Colin was a cool traveller. Funny times.

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