FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > “Out of your league” Thoughts
“Out of your league” Thoughts
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Hi Guys and Girls of Fab 
Right, this may be a similar post to whats happened to you or how you think/feel when messaging someone off here.
Have you ever messaged someone and instantly thought “im not going to bother, they wont even like me! Look at her/him them  ”
Ive had messages off females here and they thought i was out of their league to my suprise! I was shocked 
Do you think too much of this happens? Obviously its all about personal prefrences etc but would be nice to see from your personal
Experiances..
Gbig28 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi Guys and Girls of Fab
Right, this may be a similar post to whats happened to you or how you think/feel when messaging someone off here.
Have you ever messaged someone and instantly thought “im not going to bother, they wont even like me! Look at her/him them ”
Ive had messages off females here and they thought i was out of their league to my suprise! I was shocked
Do you think too much of this happens? Obviously its all about personal prefrences etc but would be nice to see from your personal
Experiances..
Gbig28"
Yes quite a few times actually and just recently.
If i really like someone though I will text and think whats the worst that can happen. They will just say no...I have backed out of a meet because I thought ha was too good for me...
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I message folk who appeal to me. If i am not for them it is not the end of the world. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, I've messaged women... |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
Almost everyone i talk too, but normally only to those i don't know from the forums.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No, I message anyone who appeals to me. If I get a reply back which shows interest then that's a bonus  |
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"I message folk who appeal to me. If i am not for them it is not the end of the world."
Me too x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Absolutely not I don’t believe in leagues if someone messages me then I assume it’s because they like what they see.
I’m lazy and never message first |
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By * Lexi xWoman
over a year ago
stockport |
It’s very rare I actually fancy anyone on here.......
But if I did I’d message them. |
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I occasionally get messages from blokes who are ‘out of my league’
I’m too embarrassed to reply so just delete as assume they didn’t mean to send it  |
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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago
Doire Theas |
I don’t think anyone is out of anyone’s league you can have who you want as long as you know how  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I frequently feel like how the OP described.
See somebody, read their bio, seem nice, look at their pics and “nope. Out of my league, will never message back”, so never message them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I message whoever I want to and if they don’t reply, move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are a few that I want to message but never have |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find it hard to message first for this reason... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yep, had a few meets that I've termed fantasy fucks because I'd have never expected me to be their type... |
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And I never message first for this reason - I assume everyone is out of my league lol! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Whats the option, masturbate over their pictures hoping they'll notice?
Nothing ventured nothing gained! |
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"I find it hard to message first for this reason..."
Same. Especially couples. I’m often too nervous to message them. |
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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago
Craggy Island |
It happens, but I always tell myself it may have happened to them too. |
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"It’s very rare I actually fancy anyone on here.......
But if I did I’d message them. "
^ this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've met a number of ladies through Fab that have completely exploded my preconceived notions of "leagues". These amazing women have no business being remotely interested in the likes of me. And yet... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I message whoever I want to and if they don’t reply, move on."
This. OP you look and sound great, message who you want mate. The worst that can happen is that they rip off your pics, use search engines, locate your social media accounts and stalk you and your mum for years...
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"I don’t think anyone is out of anyone’s league you can have who you want as long as you know how "
This ^^ i think we all should have the same mindset. We all have something unique to
Bring to the table xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont like to think of it as much as the out of your league as in more just not their cup of tea we all have different tastes. No harm in trying they can merely say no thanks or just ignore  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No, you have nothing to lose |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find it hard to message first for this reason..."
I am just the same |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 25/08/20 17:19:38] |
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By *B69Woman
over a year ago
Wiltshire |
I did at first but now I think I’ve nothing to lose so just go for it buts it’s not often I will send a msg, I find a wink will work |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everyone seems out of my league |
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"I message whoever I want to and if they don’t reply, move on.
This. OP you look and sound great, message who you want mate. The worst that can happen is that they rip off your pics, use search engines, locate your social media accounts and stalk you and your mum for years...
"
This has actually happened to me mate! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I meet someone regular that to start off with i thought i stood no chance. |
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Everyone has different tastes so what you may think may be out your league, they might think the same of you. Just message if you like them. Worst that can happen is a knockback or no reply and you move on. |
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Leagues are in your head as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I message people who pique my interest |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
When you see many of the ladies on here having flattering conversations with the 'fitties', it's difficult not to think twice about sending a message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t think anyone is out of anyone’s league you can have who you want as long as you know how "
Agree with busty belle - however some women can "look" incredibly intimidating. I guess it's just a confidence thing.
I've got to say I thought there were some ladies that wouldn't even chat to me, but I'm pleasantly surprised that I'm chatting to a number of, what I would normally class as "out of my league " ladies.
And yes Belle and Sparkles , im including you ladies in that list lol |
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We never think someone is out of our league, either they like us or they don't and that's completely up to them. We get told often that we aren't what they are look for but we definitely never take it to heart. We can't be everyone's cup of tea (our fav saying on here lol) |
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By *attM73Man
over a year ago
Oldham |
[Removed by poster at 25/08/20 17:25:21] |
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One of my greatest awakings in life was when i realised that nobody was out of my league.
Somebody may not find me attractive which is normal, we all have different taste but nobody is out of my league because of how attractive I find them, quite the opposite I guess!
I have the same attitude in real life also so messaging people on here aint no thing  but if you do get a message feel free to call me an ugly fuck and ignore
You miss 100% of the shots you dont take! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When you see many of the ladies on here having flattering conversations with the 'fitties', it's difficult not to think twice about sending a message. "
Now now _hunky gent stop thinking that way |
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By *attM73Man
over a year ago
Oldham |
"Hi Guys and Girls of Fab
Right, this may be a similar post to whats happened to you or how you think/feel when messaging someone off here.
Have you ever messaged someone and instantly thought “im not going to bother, they wont even like me! Look at her/him them ”
Ive had messages off females here and they thought i was out of their league to my suprise! I was shocked
Do you think too much of this happens? Obviously its all about personal prefrences etc but would be nice to see from your personal
Experiances..
Yeah I have had this said to me but not so direct as you have!.
Gbig28"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When my DD got in touch with me, i read his profile and then his veris and felt very inexperienced, but then we got chatting and the rest is history... So take a chance is my advice, you never know where it may lead |
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By *hav02Man
over a year ago
Glasgow/London |
All the time... But i suspect most women get so much spam that my messages get lost in their mailbox....i mean, what else have I to offer apart from my good looks, charming personality and massive ......... Hugs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 25/08/20 17:34:12] |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We never think someone is out of our league, either they like us or they don't and that's completely up to them. We get told often that we aren't what they are look for but we definitely never take it to heart. We can't be everyone's cup of tea (our fav saying on here lol) "
It's a huge shame you guys are not looking for single guys - you guys seem totally awesome x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I very rarely send a first message,I just admire from a far |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As Hitch said, you can sweep anyone off their feet, you just need the right broom! |
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"Hi Guys and Girls of Fab
Right, this may be a similar post to whats happened to you or how you think/feel when messaging someone off here.
Have you ever messaged someone and instantly thought “im not going to bother, they wont even like me! Look at her/him them ”
Ive had messages off females here and they thought i was out of their league to my suprise! I was shocked
Do you think too much of this happens? Obviously its all about personal prefrences etc but would be nice to see from your personal
Experiances..
Gbig28"
Not sure I believe in ‘leagues’ as such but I know many do. If I fancy someone I’ll often take a chance and message. The worst they can do is say no or ignore your message right? Hardly a big deal!
I have, however, ‘slept’ with many people I’d consider far more attractive than me or in far better shape than I am!
Doesn’t make me feel insecure - I rather like being me - it just makes me thank my lucky stars every now and then! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Shooters shoot.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes most definitely. I don’t tend to send first messages anyway as I don’t browse profiles other than those on the forum, but sometimes I will get a message from someone who I wouldn’t think I’m their type.
Happened quite recently actually, and I still have doubts about whether I’m their type but they insisted I am so I try and put it to the back of my mind.
I don’t much like the idea of being rejected in person
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"I message folk who appeal to me. If i am not for them it is not the end of the world."
Same here |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Hi Guys and Girls of Fab
Right, this may be a similar post to whats happened to you or how you think/feel when messaging someone off here.
Have you ever messaged someone and instantly thought “im not going to bother, they wont even like me! Look at her/him them ”
Ive had messages off females here and they thought i was out of their league to my suprise! I was shocked
Do you think too much of this happens? Obviously its all about personal prefrences etc but would be nice to see from your personal
Experiances..
Gbig28"
Nope, I'm fecking awesome! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I message whoever I want to and if they don’t reply, move on.
This. OP you look and sound great, message who you want mate. The worst that can happen is that they rip off your pics, use search engines, locate your social media accounts and stalk you and your mum for years...
This has actually happened to me mate!"
Ha awkward. Apologies you are straight so it wasn't me!
Seriously hit that send button when you see a nice girl or couple. |
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"I message whoever I want to and if they don’t reply, move on.
This. OP you look and sound great, message who you want mate. The worst that can happen is that they rip off your pics, use search engines, locate your social media accounts and stalk you and your mum for years...
This has actually happened to me mate!
Ha awkward. Apologies you are straight so it wasn't me!
Seriously hit that send button when you see a nice girl or couple. "
Ive had many lucky experiances from this site and met women who i thought was well out of my leage, but thing is they felt the same |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I message folk who appeal to me. If i am not for them it is not the end of the world."
This. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've turned down men, and meets with people who are too attractive for me. It's a case of self confidence, I've got to feel okay taking my clothes off and being naked with someone. If someone is fitter physically or better looking, I feel like I'll be too uncomfortable. |
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There’s a few times I’ve composed messages then deleted it when self doubt has creeped in, one day I’ll grow the balls to actually hit send. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I message those that appeal to me and am likely to meet if agreed but seems I'm punching tbh.. i think 99% on here are outta my league |
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"I've turned down men, and meets with people who are too attractive for me. It's a case of self confidence, I've got to feel okay taking my clothes off and being naked with someone. If someone is fitter physically or better looking, I feel like I'll be too uncomfortable."
Aww bless ya. But if the guy is showing interest then embrace it, beauty is in the eye of the beholder after all. You could be their perfect lady. I do understand your thinking though. Go get yaself a fitty and fly free |
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Ive messaged ladies that can be thought of by myself as “ out my league”, mostly don't hear back...better try to try and fail, than never try at all.
Obviously the M-F ratio is vast, but you never know.
Best of luck to you all
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Leagues are purely in the beholder mind.
In our 4 years and more on fab, don't think we have ever messaged anyone and thought, best not they are way above us.
Never going to happen as if they thought they were we wouldn't want to meet them anyway. |
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By *91kMan
over a year ago
Maidstone |
"Hi Guys and Girls of Fab
Right, this may be a similar post to whats happened to you or how you think/feel when messaging someone off here.
Have you ever messaged someone and instantly thought “im not going to bother, they wont even like me! Look at her/him them ”
Ive had messages off females here and they thought i was out of their league to my suprise! I was shocked
Do you think too much of this happens? Obviously its all about personal prefrences etc but would be nice to see from your personal
Experiances..
Gbig28"
Don't really believe in the league thing normally, but saying that I have resisted from messaging sometimes due to their attractiveness. Especially when it's a really popular profile, just think to myself why would yet another single guy be any different to the others |
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I have no idea about leagues anymore. I've had men interested in me who I consider to be way out of my league and then other men who I would have thought are in my league who I have sent face pics to after a bit of chat and then I get no response
This is why I rarely make first contact.
K x
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By *xmfrvnMan
over a year ago
Stoke-on-Trent |
One I've expect to have little interest in me liked a couple of my pics & added me today. Hasn't actually spoken to me, mind. But even so, the passive interest feels good.
Many women I've messaged have felt out of reach, but I'm often surprised. |
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Yeah, gym fit bodies just make me feel very flabby and inferior but its when you chat to someone and theyre funny and clever and lovely and that makes me go all nervous and intimidated and shy, then I feel like theyre too good for me! |
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By *appytochatMan
over a year ago
Deep in the New Forest |
Often see profiles and think I'd love to know more. But then think why would they be interested in me. So I just stay in the shadows or if feeling brave I'll just send a complimentary email about their profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And I never message first for this reason - I assume everyone is out of my league lol!"
S you have no need to feel like that. You are, from what I have seen, an intelligent well spoken woman. Some men can actually find that intimidating, putting you out of their league!
You also (from what photos I have seen - btw loving the gnome picture, but can’t place where I know it from!!) are very pretty. I’m sure there is many a man you could make happy who’d love to talk with and be with you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t think anyone is out of anyone’s league you can have who you want as long as you know how "
What Belle said |
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"And I never message first for this reason - I assume everyone is out of my league lol!
S you have no need to feel like that. You are, from what I have seen, an intelligent well spoken woman. Some men can actually find that intimidating, putting you out of their league!
You also (from what photos I have seen - btw loving the gnome picture, but can’t place where I know it from!!) are very pretty. I’m sure there is many a man you could make happy who’d love to talk with and be with you."
What a lovely thing to say, thank you xx
(Gnome tattoo was taken from a google image!!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi Guys and Girls of Fab
Right, this may be a similar post to whats happened to you or how you think/feel when messaging someone off here.
Have you ever messaged someone and instantly thought “im not going to bother, they wont even like me! Look at her/him them ”
Ive had messages off females here and they thought i was out of their league to my suprise! I was shocked
Do you think too much of this happens? Obviously its all about personal prefrences etc but would be nice to see from your personal
Experiances..
Gbig28"
Am sure it happens a lot but people have got to take a " nothing ventured nothing gained " ethic... because believe me ,you could just message someone that you think is outta your league but when you you meet them they might be outta your league..but the other way round..they might be completely the opposite of what you thought they were ...who knows... |
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By *hezuMan
over a year ago
East London |
Nobody is out of my league |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And I never message first for this reason - I assume everyone is out of my league lol!
S you have no need to feel like that. You are, from what I have seen, an intelligent well spoken woman. Some men can actually find that intimidating, putting you out of their league!
You also (from what photos I have seen - btw loving the gnome picture, but can’t place where I know it from!!) are very pretty. I’m sure there is many a man you could make happy who’d love to talk with and be with you.
What a lovely thing to say, thank you xx
(Gnome tattoo was taken from a google image!!)"
My absolute pleasure. All true and all from the heart. |
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Hate when people message and say I'm probably out of your league! We are all equal In my mind ! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't talk to people who think in terms of leagues... I'd be very offended if they didn't consider me to be so out of their league that they would message me! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a tragic lack of confidence on first message that usually I either don't bother or I make myself out to be a complete cockwomble |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the women im chatting to right now are out of my league but then I guess we are conversing so maybe I’m wrong |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a tragic lack of confidence on first message that usually I either don't bother or I make myself out to be a complete cockwomble "
I'll second that... and when trying to be confident it comes across as arrogance. |
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Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
I (Luke) have an opinion of who the three hottest women are on Fab and they are all on our friends list and we ping messages to each other occasionally. I reckon if we were in their vicinities (they are all many miles away) they would consider meeting us too, circumstances allowing.
Inasmuch as being out of somebody's league is a thing, they would qualify. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a tragic lack of confidence on first message that usually I either don't bother or I make myself out to be a complete cockwomble "
You should believe in youeself more, you are a lovely person and an amazing fuck! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never, I am a God amongst men. If they don't see that then that's their misfortune. Right, I'm off to build my statue in the desert if anyone wants me. |
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I don't think anyone is out of anyones "league" or "punching above" as I've been told several times. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t think anyone is out of anyone’s league you can have who you want as long as you know how "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think anyone is out of my league to be honest. Ok I'm not the best looking guy in the World but I'm more interested in inner beauty.
Sure I see outter beauty, but I would never think she's 'too good' for me. That's just passing judgment. I would message anyone and if I get rejected then all good and fine. I've been back since yesterday and I've had quite a few messages from ladies on here first I've not messaged anyone first and I've had friends requests. I think if you're nice and have a kind soul then it doesn't matter what you look like.
If a woman is worth there looks then they would feel the same as me. The people who have messaged me have proved me right so far so thank you. You know who you are.
If you project yourself in a rude and horrible manner on here then they see that first. Project yourself as a decent person then I think that's more important than your looks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think anyone is out of anyones "league" or "punching above" as I've been told several times. "
How do you don the heart emoji? That! |
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If I think they're out of my league I'll still message them, I normally get a thanks but no thanks anyway so I might as well get it from them as well. |
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even though I know different people find different people attractive, when it comes to myself then that thought process goes out the window.
I may hint and then hope they message me, but then even if they did message I'll assume it's coz the person they actually had their eye on either didn't reply or hasn't been online a while or some other reason and that I'm the back up plan kinda thing.
That's what happens when you've spent most of your childhood and a huge chunk of your adult life being told you're not good enough. It deep seeds, and then even when you start to believe in yourself and realise you're extremely special (and I am exceptionally special) well, then I think people just can't see how special I am, because it's inside me and not on the outside, so then if they can't see it, they won't respect it or treat it with the care it deserves. |
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"I don't think anyone is out of my league to be honest. Ok I'm not the best looking guy in the World but I'm more interested in inner beauty.
Sure I see outter beauty, but I would never think she's 'too good' for me. That's just passing judgment. I would message anyone and if I get rejected then all good and fine. I've been back since yesterday and I've had quite a few messages from ladies on here first I've not messaged anyone first and I've had friends requests. I think if you're nice and have a kind soul then it doesn't matter what you look like.
If a woman is worth there looks then they would feel the same as me. The people who have messaged me have proved me right so far so thank you. You know who you are.
If you project yourself in a rude and horrible manner on here then they see that first. Project yourself as a decent person then I think that's more important than your looks. "
Couldn’t agree more with you mate.. well said |
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Yes often.
Especially when I look through their verifications, and see the women they actually have fun with.
I politely decline.
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"I don't think anyone is out of anyones "league" or "punching above" as I've been told several times.
How do you don the heart emoji? That! "
Open bracket love close bracket  |
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I am a firm believer that fabs lures you into a false sense of security.
I know for a fact that half of the guys that message me on this site wouldn't give me a second look out in the 'real' world.
So, in my opinion....yes I do think that there are people waaaaaaaaaaaay out of my league.
But it doesn't stop me from replying to their messages! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes often.
Especially when I look through their verifications, and see the women they actually have fun with.
I politely decline.
"
Don't put yourself down! I'm sure any man would be happy to meet you. I know I would... unfortunately from your list of wants blue eyes is all I could offer.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think anyone is out of anyones "league" or "punching above" as I've been told several times.
How do you don the heart emoji? That!
Open bracket love close bracket "
this |
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I plucked up the courage to mail my crush and she Didn’t respond so I’ll be damned if I do it again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be in or out of someone's league means that some sort of judgement is being applied. It's usually about looks but could be something they've said in their profile.
But we can't guess what someone else finds attractive or whether personalities are well matched just from a profile.
Often we're out own worst critics and make totally wrong judgements. It's for others to make their minds up about us. So just relax, talk to others and see where things go! You might be surprised! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As Wayne Gretzky (Ice Hockey player) is quoted famously as saying:
"I miss 100% of the shots I don't take."
Really, how hard is "piss off" to hear, compared with the obvious reward?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am a firm believer that fabs lures you into a false sense of security.
I know for a fact that half of the guys that message me on this site wouldn't give me a second look out in the 'real' world.
So, in my opinion....yes I do think that there are people waaaaaaaaaaaay out of my league.
But it doesn't stop me from replying to their messages! "
Well that's just shallow if they do it's not worth you bothering. Sure there needs to be a physical attraction and chemistry but meeting people on here doesn't have to lead to sex! This may make me sound weird but I don't care. I would rather make a good friend on here and have chats and keep in touch than have 1 night of passion. I think that's much more special then sex. IMO |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I message loads of people and get ignored. It happens. Leagues don’t mean shit unless you are a submarine captain. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I plucked up the courage to mail my crush and she Didn’t respond so I’ll be damned if I do it again "
But equally, if you don't message people you'll never know and may miss out? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m out of everyone’s league on here. |
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Oh yes the Fabswingers League, a feeder league into the National League (North) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am a firm believer that fabs lures you into a false sense of security.
I know for a fact that half of the guys that message me on this site wouldn't give me a second look out in the 'real' world.
So, in my opinion....yes I do think that there are people waaaaaaaaaaaay out of my league.
But it doesn't stop me from replying to their messages!
Well that's just shallow if they do it's not worth you bothering. Sure there needs to be a physical attraction and chemistry but meeting people on here doesn't have to lead to sex! This may make me sound weird but I don't care. I would rather make a good friend on here and have chats and keep in touch than have 1 night of passion. I think that's much more special then sex. IMO "
I think this is totally the right mindset. Just enjoy meeting and talking with people. |
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I’m available and in everyone’s league so no issues here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's men I message and those who message me and I think they're way out of my league.
Then I think about it more and realise that in fact, no-one is out of anyone's league - there is attraction or there isn't. Nothing to be scared of. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think anyone is out of my league if we are solely talking about appearance. I think beauty is in the eye of the beholder and who knows what you might miss out on if you don't take that chance.
However, I am guilty of thinking others are out of my league though. But I always try my luck anyway as I have nothing to lose. I've had some great moments come from just going for it. |
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By *xhib12Man
over a year ago
Blyth |
"Absolutely not I don’t believe in leagues if someone messages me then I assume it’s because they like what they see.
I’m lazy and never message first "
Spot on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There's men I message and those who message me and I think they're way out of my league.
Then I think about it more and realise that in fact, no-one is out of anyone's league - there is attraction or there isn't. Nothing to be scared of. "
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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago
Bognor Regis |
"I am a firm believer that fabs lures you into a false sense of security.
I know for a fact that half of the guys that message me on this site wouldn't give me a second look out in the 'real' world.
So, in my opinion....yes I do think that there are people waaaaaaaaaaaay out of my league.
But it doesn't stop me from replying to their messages! "
This!!! I know most of the guys I talk to on here would pass me in the street without a backward glance! Personally, I put it down to the lack of women on here..and I'm definitely not complaining!! Hopefully, those I've met have enjoyed their time as much as I have & that's what counts. I just try to remain a realist..enjoy Fab but remember how different 'real life' actually is!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There's men I message and those who message me and I think they're way out of my league.
Then I think about it more and realise that in fact, no-one is out of anyone's league - there is attraction or there isn't. Nothing to be scared of. "
Agreed |
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I genuinely feel like 95% of women on here would have me punching above my weight but although I am quite confident I do realise that not many people like a guy with white hair and who is 50 even though I’m fitter now than when I was 40.
I just paddle my wee canoe through the Fab rapids. I have a couple of ladies that float my boat and hopefully we will at least have a social. |
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"I am a firm believer that fabs lures you into a false sense of security.
I know for a fact that half of the guys that message me on this site wouldn't give me a second look out in the 'real' world.
So, in my opinion....yes I do think that there are people waaaaaaaaaaaay out of my league.
But it doesn't stop me from replying to their messages!
This!!! I know most of the guys I talk to on here would pass me in the street without a backward glance! Personally, I put it down to the lack of women on here..and I'm definitely not complaining!! Hopefully, those I've met have enjoyed their time as much as I have & that's what counts. I just try to remain a realist..enjoy Fab but remember how different 'real life' actually is!! "
Your filters won’t let me message, if you ever fancy a (non-sexual in any way) drink locally let me know - we could have a laugh!!
Message me if you like x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had two profiles contact me today who I felt were way out of my league.
It's flattering but at the same time, there's that little voice that tells me it's some kind of joke and they couldn't possibly really be interested in me.
It's strange how brains work at times. |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"I've had two profiles contact me today who I felt were way out of my league.
It's flattering but at the same time, there's that little voice that tells me it's some kind of joke and they couldn't possibly really be interested in me.
It's strange how brains work at times. "
And yet - that's how i feel about you. |
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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago
Bognor Regis |
"I am a firm believer that fabs lures you into a false sense of security.
I know for a fact that half of the guys that message me on this site wouldn't give me a second look out in the 'real' world.
So, in my opinion....yes I do think that there are people waaaaaaaaaaaay out of my league.
But it doesn't stop me from replying to their messages!
This!!! I know most of the guys I talk to on here would pass me in the street without a backward glance! Personally, I put it down to the lack of women on here..and I'm definitely not complaining!! Hopefully, those I've met have enjoyed their time as much as I have & that's what counts. I just try to remain a realist..enjoy Fab but remember how different 'real life' actually is!!
Your filters won’t let me message, if you ever fancy a (non-sexual in any way) drink locally let me know - we could have a laugh!!
Message me if you like x"
Thanks xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think anyone is out of my league if we are solely talking about appearance. I think beauty is in the eye of the beholder and who knows what you might miss out on if you don't take that chance.
However, I am guilty of thinking others are out of my league though. But I always try my luck anyway as I have nothing to lose. I've had some great moments come from just going for it. "
I totally agree,our own thought process holds us back. One of the biggest reasons for not progressing in life is down to our own thoughts, the fear of failure will stop most people trying their luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had two profiles contact me today who I felt were way out of my league.
It's flattering but at the same time, there's that little voice that tells me it's some kind of joke and they couldn't possibly really be interested in me.
It's strange how brains work at times. "
I was the same... people say I'm handsome etc but it was how you felt inside and you think they're lying! Being self conscious is a curse... I'm getting better at excepting compliments but hard to believe sometimes. I'm not saying the people who have said it are liers in any way just when you have those voices then it's hard to except. Make sense?
Don't put yourself down and if someone thinks you're beautiful except it. I'm doing it! It's the thoughts in your head that are lying! |
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If it is League of Gentlemen I will avoid! |
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"I don't think anyone is out of my league if we are solely talking about appearance. I think beauty is in the eye of the beholder and who knows what you might miss out on if you don't take that chance.
However, I am guilty of thinking others are out of my league though. But I always try my luck anyway as I have nothing to lose. I've had some great moments come from just going for it.
I totally agree,our own thought process holds us back. One of the biggest reasons for not progressing in life is down to our own thoughts, the fear of failure will stop most people trying their luck "
Bang on here! We are all scared of failure. If we believed in ourselves more and took the chances and believed the compliments and messages recieved. There is no league |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If Fab has taught me one thing it is that 'Leagues' don't matter on the whole. I used to be amazed that gym fit people would message me, but people simply like what they like. If you can accept that and own yourself and exude confidence, then you become even more attractive X
I message who I like and accept whatever comes of it. No one is everyone's cup of tea. |
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Not being arrogant but no one should be ever out of someone’s League.
We breathe the same air, we drink the same water and if they say yes even the better
Nobody is perfect |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not being arrogant but no one should be ever out of someone’s League.
We breathe the same air, we drink the same water and if they say yes even the better
Nobody is perfect "
I'm perfect... |
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‘They shit and snore like everyone else’ I was told once
if you’re attracted to them crack on. Worst case scenario they delete your message! |
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"Not being arrogant but no one should be ever out of someone’s League.
We breathe the same air, we drink the same water and if they say yes even the better
Nobody is perfect
I'm perfect... "
No, because you’re not naked on my lap right now. Sort it out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nope not at all always message people don’t think any ones out off my League and if any one dose well everyone in title to they own opponents but it’s them that’s missing out on a wild hot sweaty dirty night off fun xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not being arrogant but no one should be ever out of someone’s League.
We breathe the same air, we drink the same water and if they say yes even the better
Nobody is perfect "
Agreed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think 90% of the messages I get I don't reply to because I see their pics and think I'd be punching. Definitely like to stick in my comfort zone. On a rare occasion I have just clicked with someone regardless of leagues.
Sometimes my underconfident voice is louder in my head but sometimes I can shut her up to.
Damn voices |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m out of everyone’s league on here."
Miss innocent, you’re really not x |
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No one should think they’re out of anyones league.you might not be their cup of tea but that’s all it is. If they tell you otherwise they’ve done you a favour as not worth a wank (pun intended ) |
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By *ndrew CareyMan
over a year ago
Peterborough, Cambridgeshire & Lincolnshire |
"Hi Guys and Girls of Fab
Right, this may be a similar post to whats happened to you or how you think/feel when messaging someone off here.
Have you ever messaged someone and instantly thought “im not going to bother, they wont even like me! Look at her/him them ”
Ive had messages off females here and they thought i was out of their league to my suprise! I was shocked
Do you think too much of this happens? Obviously its all about personal prefrences etc but would be nice to see from your personal
Experiances..
Gbig28"
I do not believe in the "out of league" philosophy.
Human beings are attracted to a variety of things, so giving up without entering the "ring" is noy a great idea.
Appreciate that fab for some people is about a shallow physical reaction but some people are interested in people with great personalities.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I constantly messaged ladies out of my league and was costantly rejected.
I constantly messaged ladies who were not in my league and was constantly rejected,
"Shrugs shoulders" |
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I had a similar experience very recently .
A smoking hot guy msged me, showering me with compliments.
I quickly thought there is a rabbit of here, I was right he was fake as fake can be!
( He have verifications those where obviously as fake as him) |
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If someone messages me then I adsume they are interested, I don't consider anyone out of my league.
If I'm going to message a guy I will look at their veris. If they're all from slim or stunning women then I assume that's their type and I won't waste my time.
I'm not particularly bothered at the thought of rejection on here and I know I'm not everyone's taste, but if I don't ask how will I ever know? |
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"I constantly messaged ladies out of my league and was costantly rejected.
I constantly messaged ladies who were not in my league and was constantly rejected,
"Shrugs shoulders""
I get rejected all the time.. not sure who is in my league or not.
Dont really think it's a league as well.. may not always be my type but if I see something appealing i message.
The messages I put real effort in to normally remain unread. Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes often.
Especially when I look through their verifications, and see the women they actually have fun with.
I politely decline.
"
I’ve experienced this many times, I suddenly get very self conscious and makes me second guess going for it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Often.
I also look at people's verifications and who they have met. I look at some women and think how could I follow her. |
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" Whats the option, masturbate over their pictures hoping they'll notice?
Nothing ventured nothing gained! "
My thoughts exactly. Also when you turn up to a meet and find their pics have been “enhanced” and they are not quite as perfect as the images show. |
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"Oh yes the Fabswingers League, a feeder league into the National League (North)"
Proper made laugh! |
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"Often.
I also look at people's verifications and who they have met. I look at some women and think how could I follow her. "
This comes up often, ladies you are amazing in your own unique way, its the same for us guys seeing the hunks and 6 packed guys.
In my eyes there is no competition...effort goes a long way and i always make an effort to that person im messaging xx |
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We are awful for this we often look at a profile and think no they are both stunning and out of our league even if they wink or message us first lol
xx |
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Never assume anyone is out of your league or you out of theirs!
If the person is of interest to you at least take a punt! What’s the worst that can happen... no reply? Move on ... |
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I tend to think that most people are out of my league, whether on here or in real life. That said, I do suffer with low self-esteem, but on here I'll sometimes take a punt and message them
Occasionally they'll write back, too
PS This isn't looking for sympathy or compliments - it's just a simple statement of fact |
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"I tend to think that most people are out of my league, whether on here or in real life. That said, I do suffer with low self-esteem, but on here I'll sometimes take a punt and message them
Occasionally they'll write back, too
PS This isn't looking for sympathy or compliments - it's just a simple statement of fact "
This is exaxtly how i felt mate, but its opened my eyes a lot and actually realised its the other way around. I was thinking it was me |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"It’s very rare I actually fancy anyone on here.......
But if I did I’d message them. "
Same here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
At least on here (as opposed to other sites) there's this forum to let people see that most people are in the same boat in worrying about this, to some degree. That's helped me get over stressing too much about anyone's supposed league, so hopefully some people have that take away from this thread |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t believe in leagues, you have connection and chemistry or you don’t. It’s that simple |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No such things as leagues. There's attraction or there's none. Simple
If someone thinks that he or she plays in higher or lower league then I can be sorry about them.
To OP, never think about yourself that you're worse than someone else. You're as valuable as all the other people, unless we're talking about spiderman. He's the best |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve had those feels. Strangely for someone I’ve now met and I talk to every day now! I really felt he was totally out of my league, so he lived on my hotlist and didn’t message until someone else put us in touch!
It’s purely down to nerves, especially for me being fairly new to the scene, and coming from pure monogamy for many years. You just don’t see yourself the way others see you, but the confidence grows with time.
It is 100% a thing, and I can understand it. But leagues are for football, not for the connection you need to find the good friends and playmates that make this lifestyle so liberating. So I just remind myself of that, and take the reassurance in the fact that if someone knows I’m interested at least then they have the choice to act on it. If I stay quiet and don’t say anything, then nothing will ever happen!
So basically, be brave and see your own worth. You never know where it might take you x |
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I sure do. I tell myself to stop being silly. I have message a few woman but no replies. it does make me wonder why? |
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"I tend to think that most people are out of my league, whether on here or in real life. That said, I do suffer with low self-esteem, but on here I'll sometimes take a punt and message them
Occasionally they'll write back, too
PS This isn't looking for sympathy or compliments - it's just a simple statement of fact
This is exaxtly how i felt mate, but its opened my eyes a lot and actually realised its the other way around. I was thinking it was me"
Sorry, I'm not sure I quite follow you there
I would have DM'd you this, but I'm not able to |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I sure do. I tell myself to stop being silly. I have message a few woman but no replies. it does make me wonder why? "
That is how fab works. Couples and ladies getting bombarded with messages. Go to club once it's open and You'll see reality. Once You stop overthink You'll be happier. Trust me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would like to be the referee of this league!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So amd sorry to jump in on the OP post,
Seems like should message anyone that ticks the boxes? So to speak.
I know im fussy and prob too fussy for my own good ive been here about 3 years now and measaged prob 30 people 1st off... got about 6 replies 3 meets, and 3 went nowhere, 1 my fault sort of as kids.. 2 were timewasters or fakes.
Thing is I always go for 'type' should I go for something different? Or just grow so bigger balls |
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This really resonates with me. I struggle with my self-confidence at times.
Camming has been helpful with this, but I continue to struggle at times when I get messages from guys I feel are "out of my league". |
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"So amd sorry to jump in on the OP post,
Seems like should message anyone that ticks the boxes? So to speak.
I know im fussy and prob too fussy for my own good ive been here about 3 years now and measaged prob 30 people 1st off... got about 6 replies 3 meets, and 3 went nowhere, 1 my fault sort of as kids.. 2 were timewasters or fakes.
Thing is I always go for 'type' should I go for something different? Or just grow so bigger balls "
Just be yourself mate, thats all i can say to you. The ladies i felt were out of my league so to speak thought that of me. We all have our own uniqeness to bring to the table. Always message that person you like. Spark a conversation about them/intrest..effort shows the amount of intrest |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s why I rarely message anyone |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
I rarely message people to play, I often say do you fancy meeting in a club |
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"I would like to be the referee of this league!!"
You just want to join them for the post-match showers |
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I never message anyone first due to past experiences of receiving nasty/horrible messages. As someone with low self esteem and low confidence, I don't message or reply to anyone who I think is out of my league for fear of receiving a horrible message. But recently I was pleasently surprised after chatting to someone from here and meeting them that I really shouldnt be thinking the way I do. |
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I am out of nobody’s league and nobody is out of my league, we are all just people with different attributes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would like to be the referee of this league!!
You just want to join them for the post-match showers "
Darn it, rumbled!!
|
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"I never message anyone first due to past experiences of receiving nasty/horrible messages. As someone with low self esteem and low confidence, I don't message or reply to anyone who I think is out of my league for fear of receiving a horrible message. But recently I was pleasently surprised after chatting to someone from here and meeting them that I really shouldnt be thinking the way I do. "
Maybe I'm too willing to think the best of people but I'd be surprised if you received an abusive message in response to one you'd sent. Before anyone says, I know women do receive a lot of abuse but as I understand it not from initiating contact
And as a man, it's always a pleasant surprise to receive a message from a lady |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Not being arrogant but no one should be ever out of someone’s League.
We breathe the same air, we drink the same water and if they say yes even the better
Nobody is perfect
I'm perfect... "
Apart from Heat of course ... |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"I don’t think anyone is out of anyone’s league you can have who you want as long as you know how "
I like that, just keep going until you get blocked
But seriously, if you think you're out of someone’s league then you probably are, mentally at least , you’ve failed before even trying |
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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago
Walking down the only road I've ever known! |
I'm out of everyone's league. |
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By *hav02Man
over a year ago
Glasgow/London |
Do we need a friendly matchmaking thread to help overcome "out of your league" feelings? |
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Weirdly to me, I get the occasional "You're out of my league" message.
Trust me, you are not out of my league.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ll message anyone I like, might just be a funny little comment or to say they’re attractive. If they don’t answer back then then that’s up to them. |
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"I know my place."
I do too. Where ever the fuck I wanna be |
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"I'm out of everyone's league."
Such modesty PP! You're one of the kool kids 'round here |
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"I know my place.
I do too. Where ever the fuck I wanna be "
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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago
Walking down the only road I've ever known! |
"I'm out of everyone's league.
Such modesty PP! You're one of the kool kids 'round here "
People keep says that, but I still generally sleep alone. |
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I think such thinking leads to unhealthy dynamics, and self examination is required. At least, that's been my experience. That and being aware that many here offer an idealised version of themselves, rather than something approaching reality. |
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I use to think “he’s out if my league”. Now I’ll message someone without hesitation. Why not? Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
If we all thought “out of my league”, Fab would be a very quiet place. |
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