FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Does having a stoma put people off
Does having a stoma put people off
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hey everyone just a quick question I have a stoma I'm honest and up front about it and I'm messaging people trying my hardest to have fun but I'm bmnot getting anywhere or it maybe just me. |
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"I know just hope it all gets better at some point I message people and hope for a reply but I do know this is not always the case. "
From what I'm told it's very difficult here for men as so many compared to women! That's all just numbers good luck x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would imagine it could possibly be something that might put some people off. People are put off by all manner of things from facial and body hair to the colour of you're skin. If it does put them off then they're not really the type of people you want to meet anyway!
It's not worth the worry since it's entirely out if your control. Just keep on trucking and doing things your way and you will eventually find people who are interested. Make sure you enjoy the fab ride aswell as the destination.....   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would imagine it could possibly be something that might put some people off. People are put off by all manner of things from facial and body hair to the colour of you're skin. If it does put them off then they're not really the type of people you want to meet anyway!
It's not worth the worry since it's entirely out if your control. Just keep on trucking and doing things your way and you will eventually find people who are interested. Make sure you enjoy the fab ride aswell as the destination..... "
Great advice 
Her x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You joined at a difficult time OP. Most people are still keeping themselves to themselves because of Covid-19. And at the best of times men will outnumber women by a long way.
But be yourself, engage in the forums and even go to a social event when they restart. You never know! For now, just enjoy the online banter. |
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"I got very ill a few years ago and had to have most of my large bowel removed and now have a colostomy bag. I do apologize if this offends anyone. X"
Not at all offensive although may be daunting to some who have no knowledge of a stoma. As i have been nursing for many years i have dealt with many colostomy bags so know what to expect where others may not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think it would bother me as long as it was covered. Remember Op, there are other aspects of you that are much more important than your stoma like your personality and your interest in other people etc. I think it is good to mention it, but if you think of yourself only in terms of your stoma, you are probably conveying the message that the only thing that matters is your stoma and people may not treat you as a whole person? I really hope you connect x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Welcome aboard, OP.
The simple answer is that some people will be put off by the stoma. Equally, some people will be put of by things like body size, shape, hair, beards... I could go on but you get the idea.
The stoma is totally out of your control, so the best thing is to embrace it. Be happy with yourself. Fab isn't the easiest place for single guys, at any time let alone during a pandemic.
Fab is like prospecting for gold. You will sift through a lot of shit and grit, and have a few false positives, but the nuggets are there, you just have to have patience and keep looking. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If people don't appreciate you for who you are then fuck 'em. You are lucky to exist. Of all the sperms and eggs of not just your parents but your grandparents and their parents, going back to the dawn of time, here you are. You won the lottery my friend. Your existence is majestic, one of the lucky few to be chosen. It is a blessing, never forget that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Honestly?
I don't really have much experience with them (literally the only experience I have was when I briefly worked in a nursing home and I was left with a man who's colostomy bag had partially fallen off, not fun when you don't know what to do) and I would be concerned about an accident happening, or if I would hurt the person I was with. However if I thought I'd meet a person with one I would ask questions and even do some research on it so I understood more.
But no, I can't say it would particularly put me off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had a stoma for about 8 months due to having a part of my bowel removed...
You sir are very Very strong to have one full time I take my hat of too you..
I am sure you will meet someone soon keep going mate... |
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"I got very ill a few years ago and had to have most of my large bowel removed and now have a colostomy bag. I do apologize if this offends anyone. X"
For gods sake NEVER apologise! That colostomy bag saved your life!
My mum has one - but she had hers done nearly 40 years ago - at a time when you had a 50% chance of survival - and nearly everyone she was in hospital with died!
Some people will meet you - some won’t. I’ve played with a chap a couple of times on here who has a colostomy bag - he seemed to be very successful from what I could tell!
You have pics which show your bag - so you’re clearly being totally upfront - good on you!
No one can promise you’ll get sex on here - but come on the forums, chat regularly, be kind and attend socials when they start up again - and I promise it’s a great way to make like minded friends.
Hugs
Peachy xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've take all tour advice on board guys and if anyone's local to me please say hello. X"
mate same position when I was 38 but surgeon was a women and took a risk . I had illeostomy for a year due to MRSA all down my stomach. I have now recovered . But if I still had my bag I always said to my self live for every day as I am and was lucky to be alive. Just be true to yourself and enjoy what ever comes your way. |
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I had a colostomy bag a few years ago and i must admit i found it hard to deal with as i was allergic to the flange ,ivd been left with a long scar going top to bottom of my stomach and across i hate my scars but im alive thats the main thing .. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh stoma ..at first I thought you meant a stammer . And you might find a woman on here who's same as you , how cool would thst be for you both. You could swap bodily fluids of a diffrent sort . Anyway good luck fella , you got just as much chance as the next guy I reckon..stay positive and wot will be will be |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a colostomy bag a few years ago and i must admit i found it hard to deal with as i was allergic to the flange ,ivd been left with a long scar going top to bottom of my stomach and across i hate my scars but im alive thats the main thing .."
Maybe you 2 could meet up and get to know each other a bit more . That would be great if we got to find out that love blossomed and you both lived happily ever after?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If people don't appreciate you for who you are then fuck 'em. You are lucky to exist. Of all the sperms and eggs of not just your parents but your grandparents and their parents, going back to the dawn of time, here you are. You won the lottery my friend. Your existence is majestic, one of the lucky few to be chosen. It is a blessing, never forget that."
Thats really nice |
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