FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Towing Ball.
Towing Ball.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi all I am looking for some help if possible.
I am looking to mount a towing ball but I do not have one fitted to my car.
I would love to hear from anyone here who could help, I would be happy to travel if we are not local.
Many thanks. |
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Have you hit the tow bar fitted to the car already? Because the ball just attaches to that with two large nuts and bolts, a dead easy five minute job. You'll need a 24mm spanner, though
If you haven't got the bar already, it's possible to do it yourself but the wiring can be fiddly, especially with modern car electrics (Oh for the days 30 years ago of simply scotch locking everything on  )
If you need everything doing, it could well be easier to get a mobile fitter to come flout to you and they do everything there and then. My last one, on a Mondeo estate, was 300 quid supplied and fitted in the car park at work. Google mobile fitters in your area |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi sorry there may have been some confusion when I say mount I mean I would like to take it up the bum and ride it.
Apologies for not being clearer.
Thanks. |
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Oops! 
I'm too vanilla for this site....  |
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"Have you hit the tow bar fitted to the car already? Because the ball just attaches to that with two large nuts and bolts, a dead easy five minute job. You'll need a 24mm spanner, though
If you haven't got the bar already, it's possible to do it yourself but the wiring can be fiddly, especially with modern car electrics (Oh for the days 30 years ago of simply scotch locking everything on )
If you need everything doing, it could well be easier to get a mobile fitter to come flout to you and they do everything there and then. My last one, on a Mondeo estate, was 300 quid supplied and fitted in the car park at work. Google mobile fitters in your area "
This conversation is everything! I really appreciated your detailed response  |
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"Hi sorry there may have been some confusion when I say mount I mean I would like to take it up the bum and ride it.
Apologies for not being clearer.
Thanks."
At least now you know how to get 1 fitted to your car so that you can mount it!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Haha. That's 10 minutes of your life you wont get back |
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"Hi sorry there may have been some confusion when I say mount I mean I would like to take it up the bum and ride it.
Apologies for not being clearer.
Thanks."
Is this for a top gear special ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Of all the things I’ve expected people to say in my life. This will never be on the list
Hats off to gorilla though |
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What a thoroughly interesting conversation to have with the neighbours..
Ah yes, this is Bob he just popped over to insert the tow ball up his Jacksie..
Of course he used grease..
Just waiting for the fire service to remove it or him.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am so fucking embarrassed.... "
Nothing and I mean NOTHING is ever going to beat this for a thread response. It needs to be framed and put on the walls of Fab forever.
I applaud you xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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that escalated quickly |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
This is got to be thread of the day. Absolutely hilarious |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am so fucking embarrassed.... "
Dont be. You were being kind. |
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By *illdeeCouple
over a year ago
nr Edinburgh |
"Hi sorry there may have been some confusion when I say mount I mean I would like to take it up the bum and ride it.
Apologies for not being clearer.
Thanks."
Best yet! |
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"There were no hitches.."
...groaaaaan.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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God help us this brings new meaning to the phrase rusty sheriffs badge.  |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
"I am so fucking embarrassed.... "
Don’t be! That was a very informative response! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Least we all know if we ever need car advice that gorilla is the go-to  |
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"There were no hitches.. ...groaaaaan. "
Sorry.. |
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Take the tennis ball off it first  |
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Absolutely Brilliant ! Really brightened up my day ! |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
Those towing balls do look massive. Not sure they’d fit up an arse would they? And if you mount one on a car make sure the handbrake is on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Those towing balls do look massive. Not sure they’d fit up an arse would they? And if you mount one on a car make sure the handbrake is on."
The vision this put in my head had me Howling, thanks for the laugh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oops!
I'm too vanilla for this site.... "
Yeah I'm with you on this one, good response though very accurate.
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"I am so fucking embarrassed....
Don’t be! That was a very informative response!"
If it's any consolation, I was hoping for a response like yours when I read the OP! Thanks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am so fucking embarrassed....
Don’t be! That was a very informative response!
If it's any consolation, I was hoping for a response like yours when I read the OP! Thanks. "
All I’m saying is I’ve learnt 2 things about towing balls today |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Those towing balls do look massive. Not sure they’d fit up an arse would they? And if you mount one on a car make sure the handbrake is on."
So glad I had already swallowed my tea when I read this comment  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just for clarity OP, when you are securely mounted, where do you want to be towed to? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You can adjust the height with the jockey wheel |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Only thing I know about those things is when I walk into them, hitching up the horsebox. They ducking hurt!!  |
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"I am so fucking embarrassed.... "
I saw nothing wrong with your reply, in fact I was going to suggest looking on a trust a trader type place.
Instead I'm gonna suggest the OP gets a skateboard to kneel on to save getting gravel rash whilst being towed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Best. Thread. Ever. |
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Haha. Seriously.. might have to call out the fire service and a doc to get you off it .. you seriously need a hobby. Haha |
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"People do Witter on about it"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am so fucking embarrassed....
I saw nothing wrong with your reply, in fact I was going to suggest looking on a trust a trader type place.
Instead I'm gonna suggest the OP gets a skateboard to kneel on to save getting gravel rash whilst being towed."
Like an anally mounted Marty McFly! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is brilliant |
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"I am so fucking embarrassed....
I saw nothing wrong with your reply, in fact I was going to suggest looking on a trust a trader type place.
Instead I'm gonna suggest the OP gets a skateboard to kneel on to save getting gravel rash whilst being towed.
Like an anally mounted Marty McFly! "
Back passage to the future? |
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"I am so fucking embarrassed....
I saw nothing wrong with your reply, in fact I was going to suggest looking on a trust a trader type place.
Instead I'm gonna suggest the OP gets a skateboard to kneel on to save getting gravel rash whilst being towed.
Like an anally mounted Marty McFly!
Back passage to the future?"
Just don't reach 88 mph |
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Not that I would want to kink shame, but please tell me you would be trying this in a closed garage! I would not want to come out of Sainsbury’s with my groceries to find you sat on the rear end of a car with your pants around your ankles and the Bulgarian car washing crew chammying your buttocks! |
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By *issy louWoman
over a year ago
Staffordshire Moorlands |
Best. Thread. Ever! Bar none! I’m crying |
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Somebody owes me a new keyboard, orange juice splattered all over the current one  |
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please say you're gonna put a massive head on, you know like Frank Sidebottom. Then you'll look like a dashboard decoration in reverse.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am so fucking embarrassed....
I saw nothing wrong with your reply, in fact I was going to suggest looking on a trust a trader type place.
Instead I'm gonna suggest the OP gets a skateboard to kneel on to save getting gravel rash whilst being towed.
Like an anally mounted Marty McFly!
Back passage to the future?
Just don't reach 88 mph"
Fux capacitor might blow, innit.... |
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Mr has a tractor with a three point linkage if that’s of any interest, just keep any dangling objects away from the PTO shaft and you’ll be fine. |
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Just to let you lot know...there is an actual video of this on porn hub ..erm...a friend told me |
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My car has a removable ‘swan neck’ type tow ball. One like this could be used in the privacy and comfort of one’s own home.
No I haven’t tried it.
No you can’t borrow it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Love this thread |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a sexy little blue Skoda Fabia with just the item you describe
You can rent it if you like, but between the hours of 6:30 pm to 8am....all I ask is that my car stays outside my house and you use your own lube, and sanitise afterwards please
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just to let you lot know...there is an actual video of this on porn hub ..erm...a friend told me "
You've only just found that? I feel bad now, I've watched a couple.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This made "Best thread of 2020" by the third post! |
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Is this why caravans are usually given female names |
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You better have a really good answer when the wife comes out to see what your up to and finds your bottom stuck to the tow bar.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hope you don't mount just anyone's tow ball OP? I'm glad mine's detachable, it stops people just sitting on it and me driving off unawares ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My tow ball is a detachable one if you wish to rent it for the weekend |
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"I am so fucking embarrassed....
I saw nothing wrong with your reply, in fact I was going to suggest looking on a trust a trader type place.
Instead I'm gonna suggest the OP gets a skateboard to kneel on to save getting gravel rash whilst being towed."
Roller skates would be safer (you dont hear that said very often) |
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would leaving the rubber tow ball cover on be considered safe sex? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This would really be better on a caravanners club forum OP they have far more expertise I am guessing. |
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OP, Is your car a FIAT ?? (Fuck It Again Tomorrow) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd be worried about excess lube and my caravan coming off down the M4! |
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I guess any Seat in a car park with a towbar is just inviting trouble. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am so fucking embarrassed.... "
No need to be - keep on trying to be decent and helpful!
And giving others a laugh - that's even more important! |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"Best. Thread. Ever! Bar none! I’m crying "
Tow bar none, thaqt is.
This would make a great Confessions of a... type film. |
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such great advice, just brilliant. And OP good luck with it all and enjoy  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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BEST. THREAD. EVER
May as well close the forum, this wont be beaten
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I managed to get a towball mentioned in about four other threads |
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That has made my day i just burst out into uncountable laughter in the frozen aisle. People think im mad |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is brilliant. I will never look at the ball end of a tow bar again in the same way....I usually look at them and think they do remind me of a cock.
Are you in the caravan club? They're a pervy lot. |
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The swan neck ones do look like anal hooks |
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"This is brilliant. I will never look at the ball end of a tow bar again in the same way....I usually look at them and think they do remind me of a cock.
Are you in the caravan club? They're a pervy lot. "
This need to be in a hall of fame.
Im still chuckling. |
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"The swan neck ones do look like anal hooks"
and no chance of losing them up there .. because there's a car on the other end |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"please say you're gonna put a massive head on, you know like Frank Sidebottom. Then you'll look like a dashboard decoration in reverse.
"
This.... Absolutely hilarious
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi sorry there may have been some confusion when I say mount I mean I would like to take it up the bum and ride it.
Apologies for not being clearer.
Thanks."
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I guess it makes a change from putting an old tennis ball on the tow ball that some caravaners do. |
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By *ab50Man
over a year ago
bexhill |
"Hi sorry there may have been some confusion when I say mount I mean I would like to take it up the bum and ride it.
That made be laugh... ??
Apologies for not being clearer.
Thanks."
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"Hi sorry there may have been some confusion when I say mount I mean I would like to take it up the bum and ride it.
Apologies for not being clearer.
Thanks."
There’s just something endearing about the politeness of this chap... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi sorry there may have been some confusion when I say mount I mean I would like to take it up the bum and ride it.
Apologies for not being clearer.
Thanks.
There’s just something endearing about the politeness of this chap..."
I really hope the OP finds what he's looking for, but the first three messages win thread of the week! We all have kinks, but to know there are people on fab to offer honest advice is brilliant! Kudos to the OP and gorilla!  |
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He could hold his arms out & pretend to be a human cycle carrier? Some have a knob you can twist to compensate for wear on the towball head. The man must have an arse hole like a limpet. |
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I wonder if he will also plug himself into the towbar electrics, that'll make his eyes light up |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
I got a detachable one fitted its ace , locks and electrics, all fitted and tested, £300
Part stays fitted and the heavy ball/ bar part in the boot or garage clips in and locks in seconds. I just put it one when I use the bike carrier
Make sure it has electrics and is the right shape and distance for what you need , there’s 4-5 options |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Hi sorry there may have been some confusion when I say mount I mean I would like to take it up the bum and ride it.
Apologies for not being clearer.
Thanks."
If you can mount the thing in my boot you will go a long way on here as a fab straight guy , it’s like a body builders arm after a decade on steroids with a giant bell-end, weighs about 20kg and is cold hard uncompromising steel. |
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By *ip7Man
over a year ago
caister |
I wonder what he is going to tow lol  |
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Can't believe I didn't read this thread earlier! Just been sitting here laughing for a full 10 minutes |
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"The swan neck ones do look like anal hooksand no chance of losing them up there .. because there's a car on the other end "
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By *vcarolTV/TS
over a year ago
kilmarnockish |
"Least we all know if we ever need car advice that gorilla is the go-to "
You learn something every day.....
I didn’t know there were mobile fitters... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bump for the best thread ever |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bump for the best thread ever"
Oh God, this is gold!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bump for the best thread ever"
I'd forgotten about this thread and the wild left turn it took |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh my that’s funny - Thankyou for bumping that thread - started my day off with a wayyy unladylike snort laugh - excellent |
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Still makes be laugh.... and wince |
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I wonder if the OP ever found a suitable tow hitch |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People do Witter on about it"
Taking it up the Witter. |
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"People do Witter on about it
Taking it up the Witter."
Hahaha. Good one |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This thread is legend.....wait for it.........ary....legendary |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wonder if the OP ever found a suitable tow hitch "
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Possibly unsurprisingly, the OP is now UNLOS |
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Missed this first time round, thanks for bumping
Jo x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well this thread has got me hooked |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Omg this was amazing |
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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago
Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe |
Hope he practiced safe sex and left the rubber cover on! |
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Well this brightened up my morning!
I also completely missed what OP meant with his post and was ready to chip in with some helpful advice on local car garages...
Wow! Best. Thread. Ever? |
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Haha just seen this from months ago oh how it made me laugh |
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"Haha just seen this from months ago oh how it made me laugh "
The gift that keeps on giving
A bit of a balls up |
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"Haha just seen this from months ago oh how it made me laugh
The gift that keeps on giving
A bit of a balls up "
Totally i still chuckle when I see it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fuckin LOL!! |
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By *igmaMan
over a year ago
Yorkshire |
Haha!!
Fuck me sideways |
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"Haha just seen this from months ago oh how it made me laugh
The gift that keeps on giving
A bit of a balls up
Totally i still chuckle when I see it "
Me too..the thread was great fun |
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"Haha just seen this from months ago oh how it made me laugh
The gift that keeps on giving
A bit of a balls up
Totally i still chuckle when I see it
Me too..the thread was great fun "
Same, it was so sincere too 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Haha just seen this from months ago oh how it made me laugh
The gift that keeps on giving
A bit of a balls up
Totally i still chuckle when I see it
Me too..the thread was great fun
Same, it was so sincere too
"
But the mental images it conjured. |
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"Haha just seen this from months ago oh how it made me laugh
The gift that keeps on giving
A bit of a balls up
Totally i still chuckle when I see it
Me too..the thread was great fun
Same, it was so sincere too
"
I kmow weren't it just..the forum is a great place for advice.
Some people are just so lovely and helpful..all said and done...it was great advice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Still amused now.
But ..if you cant ask on here...where can you ask..?
Not something you ask your parents...lol |
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I think it’s a shame the OP went UNLOS
So many unanswered questions and how will fab know where to send the trophy for thread of the year. |
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"I think it’s a shame the OP went UNLOS
So many unanswered questions and how will fab know where to send the trophy for thread of the year."
Mr albino gorilla deserves the trophy for his clear concise and extremely helpful answer |
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"I think it’s a shame the OP went UNLOS
So many unanswered questions and how will fab know where to send the trophy for thread of the year.
Mr albino gorilla deserves the trophy for his clear concise and extremely helpful answer "
He most certainly does |
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I'd like to know if he managed and enjoyed it, or if his account was closed by grieving relatives |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This thread was priceless. Would someone bump it every month until it reaches the limit?! It deserves more people reading the first few comments! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Try Halfords |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Try Halfords "
I really don't think so ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This has genuinely brightened my day. ROFL. |
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I couldn’t stop laughing. This has made my day. |
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What type of tow ball do you mean |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Love it .... Albinogorilla has even got pics of his towball! Good man! |
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By *appytochatMan
over a year ago
Deep in the New Forest |
I remember reading this when it first started. Had me in stitches so much so that I couldn't stop laughing or keep composed to type out a reply myself |
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Classic, I don’t think I’ll be able to look at a tow ball any other way now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How did I miss this?
Absolutely brilliant.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi sorry there may have been some confusion when I say mount I mean I would like to take it up the bum and ride it.
Apologies for not being clearer.
Thanks."
 |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
Mount a towing ball
How
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Great thread so funny |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"Great thread so funny "
Still don't get it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Absolutely hilarious |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ann Summers Product Development department should be all over this.
“Coming to, and possibly all over, a forecourt near you” |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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( Mr) next time I stop for fuel , I’ll double check before pulling off that I have no one attached to the tow bar |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This post has literally just made my year
Quick trip to my he local Halfords perhaps... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Haha I love it when this thread gets bumped, absolutely hilarious |
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Well that has proper cheered me up!!
I proper laughed out loud!!
Might keep my Mondeo now!! ???? |
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I can't believe this keeps getting resurrected.... |
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"This post has literally just made my year
Quick trip to my he local Halfords perhaps..."
same here im crying |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Saw a woman put one in her asshole before |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can't believe this keeps getting resurrected.... "
Maybe it's the new swinger signal, like Pampas grass and anklets! |
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Well Sir all I can say to you 'you can't get better than a quick fit fitter' with discount |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just for clarity OP, when you are securely mounted, where do you want to be towed to? "
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Through the local village on parade day? |
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Thread of the year
To be archived with the lost butt plug and the venerable cocksnot up the fartpipe |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm still giggling and its 12 hours since I 1st started. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm still giggling and its 12 hours since I 1st started. "
To be honest, seeing it come back up in the thread set me off again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can't believe this keeps getting resurrected.... "
It is the thread that just keeps giving |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I really hope the OP found their tow ball though, I do keep an eye out on the M4 for unusual looking caravans. |
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By *rMrsB.Couple
over a year ago
Barnsley |
I have actual tears down my face reading this. Tried reading it out loud to my husband while he’s driving but I can’t read it without laughing lol amazing xx |
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Bringe a totaly new meaning to getting hitched |
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"Thread of the year
To be archived with the lost butt plug and the venerable cocksnot up the fartpipe "
Not to mention mother in law “Anel” |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wonder if he succeeded.
We need answers! |
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And six months on the towball rears its ugly head yet again lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And six months on the towball rears its ugly head yet again lol "
I hope this thread is framed in gold and lives on forever |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This tread still makes me giggle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was looking through my fabbed pics and saw the tow bar one forgot about why I fabbed it then this thread came back up. Now I remember. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hahahahaha this is amazing!! |
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"Hi all I am looking for some help if possible.
I am looking to mount a towing ball but I do not have one fitted to my car.
I would love to hear from anyone here who could help, I would be happy to travel if we are not local.
Many thanks."
Fetishisation of trailers |
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