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Second Chance Saloon
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The messaging was going OK then something puts you off and you stop.
A day later, upon reflection, you might think 'was I too hasty? Should I give them another chance?'
Have you given someone a second chance? Or would you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think if the messaging is going ok but for some reason you lose interst and just stop, I think in that scenario you should be the one who is lucky enough to be given a second chance. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think if the messaging is going ok but for some reason you lose interst and just stop, I think in that scenario you should be the one who is lucky enough to be given a second chance. "
Interesting way of looking at it  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No I just let the natural fade happen rather than just stop talking. It takes two to sustain a conversation and if neither of us wants to keep it going then its pretty clear we aren't compatible  "
I like the 'natural fade' approach |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The messaging was going OK then something puts you off and you stop.
A day later, upon reflection, you might think 'was I too hasty? Should I give them another chance?'
Have you given someone a second chance? Or would you?"
Nope. Once I've lost interest I'm done. |
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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago
Doire Theas |
"Nah feck that NEXT 
Name change to Brutal Belle??  "
I’m not really that mean I’m just pretending to be a hard ass bitch 
Iv even gave people on my block list a 2nd chance it never works out  |
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"No I just let the natural fade happen rather than just stop talking. It takes two to sustain a conversation and if neither of us wants to keep it going then its pretty clear we aren't compatible
I like the 'natural fade' approach "
I find it nicer for both parties, especially If both of you are on the forums lots, there's no need to avoid people as there's no bad feelings |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Nah feck that NEXT
Name change to Brutal Belle??
I’m not really that mean I’m just pretending to be a hard ass bitch
Iv even gave people on my block list a 2nd chance it never works out "
You're a sweetie  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No I just let the natural fade happen rather than just stop talking. It takes two to sustain a conversation and if neither of us wants to keep it going then its pretty clear we aren't compatible
I like the 'natural fade' approach
I find it nicer for both parties, especially If both of you are on the forums lots, there's no need to avoid people as there's no bad feelings "
I quite agree |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So many do this chat then dissappear then try start the conversation a week later..When they stop messaging or it fades out I just move on. Obviously won't be any different if met up with them .Nothing worse than awkward silences or nothing to talk about... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As if this happens OP . But the thing with second chances is they're not really very voluntary, you just feel them and they either happen or they don't..... ....the other person might be sick of you also....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As if this happens OP . But the thing with second chances is they're not really very voluntary, you just feel them and they either happen or they don't..... ....the other person might be sick of you also....
1st chance would be a fine thing. I'd give you a few chances Nippy  "
Haha, I usually require about 25.....  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As if this happens OP . But the thing with second chances is they're not really very voluntary, you just feel them and they either happen or they don't..... ....the other person might be sick of you also....
1st chance would be a fine thing. I'd give you a few chances Nippy
Haha, I usually require about 25..... "
I'm very patient |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I do the natural fade thing... sometimes, and very rarely, I know that my response/lack of is clouded by external factors. I might try and reengage with someone if I think that's the case but the rare occasion I have done so the same behaviour/thing that made me lose interest happens again. So I talk to them in a cordial matter for a bit and let the fade happen. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I do the natural fade thing... sometimes, and very rarely, I know that my response/lack of is clouded by external factors. I might try and reengage with someone if I think that's the case but the rare occasion I have done so the same behaviour/thing that made me lose interest happens again. So I talk to them in a cordial matter for a bit and let the fade happen."
Always good to hear your perspective Meli
I would probably go for the natural fade rather than just stop. If there were external factors I would probably let the other person know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had several conversations started, and I never really just send one sentenced messages, but have had conversations "fade" so to speak. Doesn't mean interest is gone, just unsure how to follow up from there.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've had several conversations started, and I never really just send one sentenced messages, but have had conversations "fade" so to speak. Doesn't mean interest is gone, just unsure how to follow up from there. "
Sorry about that  I'll get back to you later. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had several conversations started, and I never really just send one sentenced messages, but have had conversations "fade" so to speak. Doesn't mean interest is gone, just unsure how to follow up from there.
Sorry about that I'll get back to you later. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If something stops me or makes me have 2nd thoughts theres usually a reason for it.
Looking back when I have given a 2nd go it hasn't worked out well.
I usually am a good judge and if something makes me think twice, there is usually a good enough reason for it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If something stops me or makes me have 2nd thoughts theres usually a reason for it.
Looking back when I have given a 2nd go it hasn't worked out well.
I usually am a good judge and if something makes me think twice, there is usually a good enough reason for it. "
The ever reliable woman's intuition |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If something stops me or makes me have 2nd thoughts theres usually a reason for it.
Looking back when I have given a 2nd go it hasn't worked out well.
I usually am a good judge and if something makes me think twice, there is usually a good enough reason for it. "
Exactly |
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Second chances have a number of forms. Early on a lot of the dialogue is in individuals heads and easy to misconstrue a comment or gap in conversation from other party (particularly as a couple one side) - so second chances occur. If you have got to the point of outlining behaviours then there are none - you knew and forgot/ignored? you're gone. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So many do this chat then dissappear then try start the conversation a week later..When they stop messaging or it fades out I just move on. Obviously won't be any different if met up with them .Nothing worse than awkward silences or nothing to talk about..."
Probably sensible |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
Yep.
It doesn’t take much to piss me off or annoy me and I often block, ignore, tell someone to leave me alone as they have annoyed me.
But give me time to calm down and just be then I’m fine. I’m quite tempestuous regarding my moods. This is why I look for a Captain who knows how to handle stormy weather so he can navigate me safely to calmer waters 
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yep.
It doesn’t take much to piss me off or annoy me and I often block, ignore, tell someone to leave me alone as they have annoyed me.
But give me time to calm down and just be then I’m fine. I’m quite tempestuous regarding my moods. This is why I look for a Captain who knows how to handle stormy weather so he can navigate me safely to calmer waters
"
I can relate to that. I can get pissed off easily (especially if external stuff is going on). So I could see myself doing what you describe.
As you say it can't all be calm weather and plain sailing. Sometimes you just have to ride the rough out and hope there are calmer waters ahead |
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