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Polyamorous relationships
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By *icearms OP Man
over a year ago
KIDLINGTON |
Was reading an article that suggests that 33% of those under believe that having a polyamorous lifestyle is their ideal.
Got me wondering is that something you would accept or strive for?
Couples does this idea float your boat or are you happy for no strings sex with like minded people?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm happy with being open sexually, but I don't believe I could love more than one person at a time in a romantic sense. So it's not for me, I can completely understand how it could be great for others though  |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
We have been in a couple of three way relationships. Many in the Poly world do not like hierarchical couples as they see it as control & too much to invest as if one of the couple goes off the idea then they lose both friends. We are not 100% like that though.
We have found the Poly world is also full of guys who are happy to be Poly, less so their poly partners, one of our relationships ended due to this & the single lady involved just stopped seeing us as he asked her to, even though he still has a couple of other poly g/f's.
We would have told him to go forth but there you go, ours is not to reason why yada yada yada..
S |
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i think we all want to be loved by somebody, being loved by 2 or more people at the same time is just a fantasy, but in reality we'd be happy being truly loved by just one person who only loves you, and loving them equally. Maybe ive been alone too long and a bit of a hopeless romantic  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i think we all want to be loved by somebody, being loved by 2 or more people at the same time is just a fantasy, but in reality we'd be happy being truly loved by just one person who only loves you, and loving them equally. Maybe ive been alone too long and a bit of a hopeless romantic "
My thoughts exactly. I think that when the right person comes along, that true one in a billion, they’re the only one you’ll ever need. I guess I’m one of those hopeless romantics as well.  |
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"i think we all want to be loved by somebody, being loved by 2 or more people at the same time is just a fantasy, but in reality we'd be happy being truly loved by just one person who only loves you, and loving them equally. Maybe ive been alone too long and a bit of a hopeless romantic
My thoughts exactly. I think that when the right person comes along, that true one in a billion, they’re the only one you’ll ever need. I guess I’m one of those hopeless romantics as well. "
Honestly if that is how you guys feel then I hope you find someone else who feels the same and are very happy together. Just because my relationships aren't monogamous though it doesn't make them less special. Me and my partners just want different things to you guys and that's okay. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s something new to me that I’m open to exploring. I have a lot of love and affection to give and could see myself having more than one long term partner. But it’s still a very new concept and I’m still only looking into it.
We’ll see how the journey goes  |
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I think that a large majority of them think it’s all about the sex though.
A lot of people in the poly community (myself included) say they they are often asked ‘how much sex do you get’ and that’s just zzzzzzzz |
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By *icearms OP Man
over a year ago
KIDLINGTON |
"I think that a large majority of them think it’s all about the sex though.
A lot of people in the poly community (myself included) say they they are often asked ‘how much sex do you get’ and that’s just zzzzzzzz"
So kind of have your cake and eat it scenario? Never thought of it like that |
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By *icearms OP Man
over a year ago
KIDLINGTON |
"It’s something new to me that I’m open to exploring. I have a lot of love and affection to give and could see myself having more than one long term partner. But it’s still a very new concept and I’m still only looking into it.
We’ll see how the journey goes "
I guess the question is would you be jealous etc.. also is it you finding a poly couple meaning you could be left out. |
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By *icearms OP Man
over a year ago
KIDLINGTON |
"i think we all want to be loved by somebody, being loved by 2 or more people at the same time is just a fantasy, but in reality we'd be happy being truly loved by just one person who only loves you, and loving them equally. Maybe ive been alone too long and a bit of a hopeless romantic
My thoughts exactly. I think that when the right person comes along, that true one in a billion, they’re the only one you’ll ever need. I guess I’m one of those hopeless romantics as well.
Honestly if that is how you guys feel then I hope you find someone else who feels the same and are very happy together. Just because my relationships aren't monogamous though it doesn't make them less special. Me and my partners just want different things to you guys and that's okay. "
Yeah i agree. I think as I'm getting older and understanding myself more I could see myself spending time with another person that I enjoy chilling with or have similar interests with but also being able to share love and affection with them and another partner at the same time. And of course it would be the same for my partner to do the same. |
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By *icearms OP Man
over a year ago
KIDLINGTON |
"We have been in a couple of three way relationships. Many in the Poly world do not like hierarchical couples as they see it as control & too much to invest as if one of the couple goes off the idea then they lose both friends. We are not 100% like that though.
We have found the Poly world is also full of guys who are happy to be Poly, less so their poly partners, one of our relationships ended due to this & the single lady involved just stopped seeing us as he asked her to, even though he still has a couple of other poly g/f's.
We would have told him to go forth but there you go, ours is not to reason why yada yada yada..
S"
With a 3 way it does feel like there is more at risk for the singleton. Don't get me wrong they go in with eyes open. But must be more cases where they get cast aside as one or other of the couple doesn't like it or is left out. |
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"Not polyamourous but I'd be open to an open relationship providing I got dibs lol
You'd constantly have them booked up!  "
Not true! But if I had occasions where I wanted to be a couple I'd expect to take priority over others. Plus we could meet others together.
I've been asked to be a girlfriend to a couple but I wasn't allowed a boyfriend myself. Didn't sit right with me so I politely declined.
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By *icearms OP Man
over a year ago
KIDLINGTON |
"Not polyamourous but I'd be open to an open relationship providing I got dibs lol
You'd constantly have them booked up!
Not true! But if I had occasions where I wanted to be a couple I'd expect to take priority over others. Plus we could meet others together.
I've been asked to be a girlfriend to a couple but I wasn't allowed a boyfriend myself. Didn't sit right with me so I politely declined.
"
Fair play.. it can't be one sided like that. |
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"i think we all want to be loved by somebody, being loved by 2 or more people at the same time is just a fantasy, but in reality we'd be happy being truly loved by just one person who only loves you, and loving them equally. Maybe ive been alone too long and a bit of a hopeless romantic
My thoughts exactly. I think that when the right person comes along, that true one in a billion, they’re the only one you’ll ever need. I guess I’m one of those hopeless romantics as well.
Honestly if that is how you guys feel then I hope you find someone else who feels the same and are very happy together. Just because my relationships aren't monogamous though it doesn't make them less special. Me and my partners just want different things to you guys and that's okay. "
Thanks Lacey, i have no doubt that poly relationships can be just as special too, as long as everybody involved is happy thats all that matters. i had my 1 in a billion but she broke me so now im damaged goods that nobody wants, ive pretty much accepted that i'll be alone for the rest of my existence. |
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"i think we all want to be loved by somebody, being loved by 2 or more people at the same time is just a fantasy, but in reality we'd be happy being truly loved by just one person who only loves you, and loving them equally. Maybe ive been alone too long and a bit of a hopeless romantic
My thoughts exactly. I think that when the right person comes along, that true one in a billion, they’re the only one you’ll ever need. I guess I’m one of those hopeless romantics as well.
Honestly if that is how you guys feel then I hope you find someone else who feels the same and are very happy together. Just because my relationships aren't monogamous though it doesn't make them less special. Me and my partners just want different things to you guys and that's okay.
Thanks Lacey, i have no doubt that poly relationships can be just as special too, as long as everybody involved is happy thats all that matters. i had my 1 in a billion but she broke me so now im damaged goods that nobody wants, ive pretty much accepted that i'll be alone for the rest of my existence."
As long as everybody is happy is such a good response to so many situations. Literally been havibg that discussion with a friend today.
Aww please don't believe that. Concentrate on you for now and you will heal and get back to a place where you're in the right place to meet someone. |
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I would be open to a poly relationship, i have no specific expectations or requirements except honesty and openness.
Although this is not something I specifically go out looking for, I too think it's a way of life I could be very happy in if with the right people/person
Rabbit
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"I think that a large majority of them think it’s all about the sex though.
A lot of people in the poly community (myself included) say they they are often asked ‘how much sex do you get’ and that’s just zzzzzzzz"
Exactly, the online Poly world is just as dominated by guys just thinking it's about sex all the time.
Our last gf lasted eight months, not that long I grant you but we had days out with both sets of kids, cinema trips etc. when we'd just drop them home & come home ourselves. The ladies would have days out & I had someone to go see gory films with as H hates them.
This was the gf that stopped seeing us as she got a bf, as a single mum we could see that he could offer more than we could so were happy for her.
S
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By *icearms OP Man
over a year ago
KIDLINGTON |
"I would be open to a poly relationship, i have no specific expectations or requirements except honesty and openness.
Although this is not something I specifically go out looking for, I too think it's a way of life I could be very happy in if with the right people/person
Rabbit
"
Yeah I get that. I think as long as all parties are happy and honest with each other it could be a good set up. |
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I think that my preference is for sexual non exclusivity, although I am kind of involved in a poly dynamic with a couple. I’ve known him a year and I’d say that it is a romantic friendship. I’ve been getting on well with her recently too. There isn’t any emotional investment though and I personally might find that tricky. They are poly and don’t restrict each other’s freedom. It hasn’t been easy for them though
When I date though I put the romantic aspect of my friendship with him aside and just concentrate on dating so that I can find something for myself, with emotional investment |
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By *icearms OP Man
over a year ago
KIDLINGTON |
"Me & my partner are in a poly relationship and not under 40. Been together for two decades and are finding our poly wings. "
Do you think as time has passed you have evolved an not grown apart, but understand you both have slightly different needs to say 20 years ago? |
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By *icearms OP Man
over a year ago
KIDLINGTON |
"I think that my preference is for sexual non exclusivity, although I am kind of involved in a poly dynamic with a couple. I’ve known him a year and I’d say that it is a romantic friendship. I’ve been getting on well with her recently too. There isn’t any emotional investment though and I personally might find that tricky. They are poly and don’t restrict each other’s freedom. It hasn’t been easy for them though
When I date though I put the romantic aspect of my friendship with him aside and just concentrate on dating so that I can find something for myself, with emotional investment "
Sounds like a dynamic that works now... but are you looking for your own partner eventually? |
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By *sylockeWoman
over a year ago
East Anglia |
"Me & my partner are in a poly relationship and not under 40. Been together for two decades and are finding our poly wings.
Do you think as time has passed you have evolved an not grown apart, but understand you both have slightly different needs to say 20 years ago?"
Interesting question. I think we started to talk about it a few years ago. It’s a bit of not being able to meet all the needs for each other. One person can’t possibly meet all the needs for one person. It’s been a rocky journey but we both agree we are solid and we can look for any gaps/shortfalls in other people. Hope that makes sense. |
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By *icearms OP Man
over a year ago
KIDLINGTON |
"Me & my partner are in a poly relationship and not under 40. Been together for two decades and are finding our poly wings.
Do you think as time has passed you have evolved an not grown apart, but understand you both have slightly different needs to say 20 years ago?
Interesting question. I think we started to talk about it a few years ago. It’s a bit of not being able to meet all the needs for each other. One person can’t possibly meet all the needs for one person. It’s been a rocky journey but we both agree we are solid and we can look for any gaps/shortfalls in other people. Hope that makes sense. "
Yes makes perfect sense.. I imagine the first time either one of you finds a second partner it may feel strange... but it seems like you have both been honest so that's a solid foundation. |
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We could never be poly.
Swinging is a shared experience between us that we enjoy together. Completely different. This is purely physical and fun.
We both know we couldn't open our relationship to others. |
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"We could never be poly.
Swinging is a shared experience between us that we enjoy together. Completely different. This is purely physical and fun.
We both know we couldn't open our relationship to others."
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"I think that my preference is for sexual non exclusivity, although I am kind of involved in a poly dynamic with a couple. I’ve known him a year and I’d say that it is a romantic friendship. I’ve been getting on well with her recently too. There isn’t any emotional investment though and I personally might find that tricky. They are poly and don’t restrict each other’s freedom. It hasn’t been easy for them though
When I date though I put the romantic aspect of my friendship with him aside and just concentrate on dating so that I can find something for myself, with emotional investment
Sounds like a dynamic that works now... but are you looking for your own partner eventually?"
I am yes, probably more for a swinger style relationship than polyamory. I’m open with guys I date about the dynamic. I wouldn’t prioritise a guy over my friendship with them, but I have put the romantic element on hold for the benefit of a guy in the past. I have a strong friendship with him do it all just works. |
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"i think we all want to be loved by somebody, being loved by 2 or more people at the same time is just a fantasy, but in reality we'd be happy being truly loved by just one person who only loves you, and loving them equally. Maybe ive been alone too long and a bit of a hopeless romantic
My thoughts exactly. I think that when the right person comes along, that true one in a billion, they’re the only one you’ll ever need. I guess I’m one of those hopeless romantics as well.
Honestly if that is how you guys feel then I hope you find someone else who feels the same and are very happy together. Just because my relationships aren't monogamous though it doesn't make them less special. Me and my partners just want different things to you guys and that's okay.
Thanks Lacey, i have no doubt that poly relationships can be just as special too, as long as everybody involved is happy thats all that matters. i had my 1 in a billion but she broke me so now im damaged goods that nobody wants, ive pretty much accepted that i'll be alone for the rest of my existence."
I'm glad, in a way, that it's not just me that managed to fuck things up when I met "The One", but sorry that you're hurting still.
But yes, I'm feeling like it's game over for me too. Not helped by staring down the barrel of turning fifty  |
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"i think we all want to be loved by somebody, being loved by 2 or more people at the same time is just a fantasy, but in reality we'd be happy being truly loved by just one person who only loves you, and loving them equally. Maybe ive been alone too long and a bit of a hopeless romantic
My thoughts exactly. I think that when the right person comes along, that true one in a billion, they’re the only one you’ll ever need. I guess I’m one of those hopeless romantics as well.
Honestly if that is how you guys feel then I hope you find someone else who feels the same and are very happy together. Just because my relationships aren't monogamous though it doesn't make them less special. Me and my partners just want different things to you guys and that's okay.
Thanks Lacey, i have no doubt that poly relationships can be just as special too, as long as everybody involved is happy thats all that matters. i had my 1 in a billion but she broke me so now im damaged goods that nobody wants, ive pretty much accepted that i'll be alone for the rest of my existence.
I'm glad, in a way, that it's not just me that managed to fuck things up when I met "The One", but sorry that you're hurting still.
But yes, I'm feeling like it's game over for me too. Not helped by staring down the barrel of turning fifty "
Definitely not game over! My nan remarried in her 70s and is now nearly 20 years married |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are very much open marriage which provides individual freedom as well as fun as a couple.
Certainly not all plain sailing, but we have ironed out the kinks now. ( Excuse the pun )
We consider ourselves bombproof from a relationship point of view. And when there is an emotional connection, we are cool with it.
Currently there is a regular,weekly overnight connection between Mrs and a guy. We both know, that the mental and emotional connection between them will grow.
But our deep affection is not compromised.
She can give herself wholly to him when she is in his bed. And they have created their own sexual repertoire which belongs to them.
Works for us.. |
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I'm polyamorous. 
Felt that way all my adult life. Thought it was weird until someone told me it’s called polyamory.