FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Say something raw part 2
Say something raw part 2
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Could you write what you want to see to your brothers even just for your own sake and put it somewhere safe ? "
That is such a good idea, I hadn't thought of that.
Thank you xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Could you write what you want to see to your brothers even just for your own sake and put it somewhere safe ?
That is such a good idea, I hadn't thought of that.
Thank you xx"
Hope it helps |
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"I despise myself. I have some new dark stretch marks and I can't look at myself without wanting to cry. "
The stretch marks fade with time, you are young. I had more stripes than a zebra when I was pregnant with my son, but they've all faded to silver and none are obvious any more. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My entire life is falling apart around me and i am too prideful to accept help of my friends "
Ask for help don't let pride get in the way. That's what friends are there for to help us. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I despise myself. I have some new dark stretch marks and I can't look at myself without wanting to cry. "
Stretch marks are part of living, they will fade. Look after yourself and love yourself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I look at myself in the mirror and wonder how many opportunities (both sexual and not) in my life have passed me by simply due to being a relatively ugly large guy, and that no amount of personality or wit I try to exude will ever win over having the opposite.
Is that the right sort of post?  because if I misinterpreted the thread then fuck me am I right?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I despise myself. I have some new dark stretch marks and I can't look at myself without wanting to cry. "
Never despise yourself. You are amazing and your body is amazing and can do amazing things.
Be proud of your body and who you are. xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I suffer form chronic insomnia because I hate sleeping alown tend to stay up till I pass out all i wish for if a lovely beautiful woman to cuddle in to at night |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I despise myself. I have some new dark stretch marks and I can't look at myself without wanting to cry. "
Don't be so hard on your self your gorgeous, besides lots of men find stretch marks sexy me included plus as said they fade with time x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If anyone is concerned about Anyone not getting a reply.. please step in. I thought it would be good just to be holding space.. sometimes being that "keeper of space" is a catalyst to changes... sometimes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If anyone is concerned about Anyone not getting a reply.. please step in. I thought it would be good just to be holding space.. sometimes being that "keeper of space" is a catalyst to changes... sometimes. "
You’re doing a great job lovely. The thread is a great idea to get some of those demons out that we all carry. Xx |
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"If anyone is concerned about Anyone not getting a reply.. please step in. I thought it would be good just to be holding space.. sometimes being that "keeper of space" is a catalyst to changes... sometimes. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The other day I found myself writing a note I hope no one has to read because I felt it was the right thing to do
While later was reading fun things on here
the bad thoughts can be so fleeting but they are so constant as well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The other day I found myself writing a note I hope no one has to read because I felt it was the right thing to do
While later was reading fun things on here
the bad thoughts can be so fleeting but they are so constant as well"
The strange nature of bad thoughts- that's a powerful statement. |
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sometimes I stand at the side of the road and look at an arctic lorry heading my way. I hear the crunches of my body getting mangled and there's a temptation mixed with curiosity.
I know that I would likely destroy the drivers life and they would never be the same again. That's all I need to keep my feet firmly where they're planted. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"sometimes I stand at the side of the road and look at an arctic lorry heading my way. I hear the crunches of my body getting mangled and there's a temptation mixed with curiosity.
I know that I would likely destroy the drivers life and they would never be the same again. That's all I need to keep my feet firmly where they're planted."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m so tired of being strong for everyone else, but I know if I stop for even a moment I’ll crumble."
Same here, I wonder if me being emotionally distant is my defence mechanism x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m so tired of being strong for everyone else, but I know if I stop for even a moment I’ll crumble.
Same here, I wonder if me being emotionally distant is my defence mechanism x "
It could be dissociating..
We all try to survive somehow x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m so tired of being strong for everyone else, but I know if I stop for even a moment I’ll crumble.
Same here, I wonder if me being emotionally distant is my defence mechanism x
It could be dissociating..
We all try to survive somehow x"
Thanks, yes we do x |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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Sometimes I don't think I'm as important to people as they are to me because I'm not quite good enough. And that if I was to disappear they wouldn't particularly notice and if they did, they wouldn't really care.
*this is only a sometimes thought, I think my hormones have a part to play in it. |
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"Sometimes I don't think I'm as important to people as they are to me because I'm not quite good enough. And that if I was to disappear they wouldn't particularly notice and if they did, they wouldn't really care.
*this is only a sometimes thought, I think my hormones have a part to play in it."
I can understand that. I have those thoughts sometimes too, and usually it's tied to hormones as well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes I don't think I'm as important to people as they are to me because I'm not quite good enough. And that if I was to disappear they wouldn't particularly notice and if they did, they wouldn't really care.
*this is only a sometimes thought, I think my hormones have a part to play in it."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes I don't think I'm as important to people as they are to me because I'm not quite good enough. And that if I was to disappear they wouldn't particularly notice and if they did, they wouldn't really care.
*this is only a sometimes thought, I think my hormones have a part to play in it.
I can understand that. I have those thoughts sometimes too, and usually it's tied to hormones as well "
I am always reminding myself to make time to read more about taking control of my cycle in emotional way and accepting the dips as they happen, spread your energy differently . Not always practical with every day challenges. Still on list to do. |
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"Sometimes I don't think I'm as important to people as they are to me because I'm not quite good enough. And that if I was to disappear they wouldn't particularly notice and if they did, they wouldn't really care.
*this is only a sometimes thought, I think my hormones have a part to play in it.
I can understand that. I have those thoughts sometimes too, and usually it's tied to hormones as well
I am always reminding myself to make time to read more about taking control of my cycle in emotional way and accepting the dips as they happen, spread your energy differently . Not always practical with every day challenges. Still on list to do. "
I think just accepting the fact it's hormone related helps me deal with it because I know it'll pass |
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It's weird. Like I don't think I'm better than everyone else but I do think I'm special in a spiritual way, although spiritual doesn't quite seem like the right word.
I want to love again, but I'm genuinely afraid that there isn't a soul almost "pure" enough to care for me the way I would need to be loved. I think to understand me and truly understand me, the other person would have had to have visited hell, and I'm not sure 2 people who've both been there would actually be that good for each other.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's weird. Like I don't think I'm better than everyone else but I do think I'm special in a spiritual way, although spiritual doesn't quite seem like the right word.
I want to love again, but I'm genuinely afraid that there isn't a soul almost "pure" enough to care for me the way I would need to be loved. I think to understand me and truly understand me, the other person would have had to have visited hell, and I'm not sure 2 people who've both been there would actually be that good for each other.
"
I read something strong today.. if you want to bare me naked you need to be prepared for my naked soul too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My wife had a serious illness over 4yrs ago now she's recovered thank god but its totally destroyed her sex drive and any attempt to get intimate with her I get pushed away like I'm some dirty disgusting perv she's bumped into in the street, you've no idea how demoralising and worthless I feel now after 4 years of this that my wife doesn't want me in that way,and what's worse is she won't even talk about or admit there is a problem. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"sometimes I stand at the side of the road and look at an arctic lorry heading my way. I hear the crunches of my body getting mangled and there's a temptation mixed with curiosity.
I know that I would likely destroy the drivers life and they would never be the same again. That's all I need to keep my feet firmly where they're planted."
totally get this
have often thought the same about buses/lorries or trains but stop myself due to how it would impact the driver |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Sometimes I don't think I'm as important to people as they are to me because I'm not quite good enough. And that if I was to disappear they wouldn't particularly notice and if they did, they wouldn't really care.
*this is only a sometimes thought, I think my hormones have a part to play in it.
I can understand that. I have those thoughts sometimes too, and usually it's tied to hormones as well "
I've had them thoughts too. Xmas was particularly crap and in February only that I had had two drinks I would have got in my car and disappeared. I admitted this thoughts to a few close friends and family since and everyone was floored but it has reassured that people do actually care. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is a very moving thread.
To all those struggling, you’ve made the first move by admitting that fact, and that is quite often the hardest thing to do.
Take it one step at a time, and be kind to yourself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My wife had a serious illness over 4yrs ago now she's recovered thank god but its totally destroyed her sex drive and any attempt to get intimate with her I get pushed away like I'm some dirty disgusting perv she's bumped into in the street, you've no idea how demoralising and worthless I feel now after 4 years of this that my wife doesn't want me in that way,and what's worse is she won't even talk about or admit there is a problem. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"sometimes I stand at the side of the road and look at an arctic lorry heading my way. I hear the crunches of my body getting mangled and there's a temptation mixed with curiosity.
I know that I would likely destroy the drivers life and they would never be the same again. That's all I need to keep my feet firmly where they're planted.
totally get this
have often thought the same about buses/lorries or trains but stop myself due to how it would impact the driver"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is a very moving thread.
To all those struggling, you’ve made the first move by admitting that fact, and that is quite often the hardest thing to do.
Take it one step at a time, and be kind to yourself "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sometimes I don't think I'm as important to people as they are to me because I'm not quite good enough. And that if I was to disappear they wouldn't particularly notice and if they did, they wouldn't really care.
*this is only a sometimes thought, I think my hormones have a part to play in it."
I know you have these worries _eli and even though they may be because of hormones, I am still going to tell you that you are more important than you know. Those that care about you, will tell you that you are more than good enough. I think they know without a doubt in there mind,they are the lucky one to have you in there life xxx |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Sometimes I don't think I'm as important to people as they are to me because I'm not quite good enough. And that if I was to disappear they wouldn't particularly notice and if they did, they wouldn't really care.
*this is only a sometimes thought, I think my hormones have a part to play in it.
I know you have these worries _eli and even though they may be because of hormones, I am still going to tell you that you are more important than you know. Those that care about you, will tell you that you are more than good enough. I think they know without a doubt in there mind,they are the lucky one to have you in there life xxx"
x a ridiculous amount. |
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"My wife had a serious illness over 4yrs ago now she's recovered thank god but its totally destroyed her sex drive and any attempt to get intimate with her I get pushed away like I'm some dirty disgusting perv she's bumped into in the street, you've no idea how demoralising and worthless I feel now after 4 years of this that my wife doesn't want me in that way,and what's worse is she won't even talk about or admit there is a problem.
Thanks   not sure if this site was the answer though, if anyone has helpful advice I'm all ears I'm fresh out of ideas  "
Her body may have recovered from being seriously ill, but her mind may not have. She could have trauma. Have you spoken about how being unwell may have affected her in that respect, or how it may have impacted you and your own fears? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wish the last few intrusive images that invade my mind when they are least expected and wanted could just go away. I want to feel whole but part of me still doesn't belong to me. |
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"My wife had a serious illness over 4yrs ago now she's recovered thank god but its totally destroyed her sex drive and any attempt to get intimate with her I get pushed away like I'm some dirty disgusting perv she's bumped into in the street, you've no idea how demoralising and worthless I feel now after 4 years of this that my wife doesn't want me in that way,and what's worse is she won't even talk about or admit there is a problem.
Thanks not sure if this site was the answer though, if anyone has helpful advice I'm all ears I'm fresh out of ideas
Her body may have recovered from being seriously ill, but her mind may not have. She could have trauma. Have you spoken about how being unwell may have affected her in that respect, or how it may have impacted you and your own fears?"
To add, I'd also suggest counselling, both perhaps of an individual nature and couple's counselling. The counselling can help with communication, which sounds like a huge thing that you both need to repair in your relationship. We've had couple's counselling (long time ago now) and it was absolutely life changing. Not an exaggeration. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My wife had a serious illness over 4yrs ago now she's recovered thank god but its totally destroyed her sex drive and any attempt to get intimate with her I get pushed away like I'm some dirty disgusting perv she's bumped into in the street, you've no idea how demoralising and worthless I feel now after 4 years of this that my wife doesn't want me in that way,and what's worse is she won't even talk about or admit there is a problem.
Thanks not sure if this site was the answer though, if anyone has helpful advice I'm all ears I'm fresh out of ideas
Her body may have recovered from being seriously ill, but her mind may not have. She could have trauma. Have you spoken about how being unwell may have affected her in that respect, or how it may have impacted you and your own fears?
To add, I'd also suggest counselling, both perhaps of an individual nature and couple's counselling. The counselling can help with communication, which sounds like a huge thing that you both need to repair in your relationship. We've had couple's counselling (long time ago now) and it was absolutely life changing. Not an exaggeration. "
yep done that been the kind patient considerate husband acknowledged she will take alot of time to recover, suggested counciling to her she went ape shit and didn't speak for 4 days it may well be me that's the problem but truth is I can't get her to talk or acknowledge we need to talk so I don't know what the problem is |
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Totally alone. I work and go home. Work then go home. In the last ten years I have lost a marriage, home, very good job, £45k, another relationship that was amazing, had a stroke, and all friends are coupled up and have moved on.
I have built up protective walls that don’t allow me to form meaningful relationships and am scared that this is how the rest of my life will be.
I guess I’m lucky in that you’d never know I’ve had a stroke to look at me, I have two amazing sons, I have another good job and I’m buying my first house in years this month. But theees a huge hole and I’m desperately sad. I’ve created a facade that masks it all, but hate being at home alone.
Hey, but I have my healt....oh, right! |
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"Oh and I’m pretty good at killing threads too! "
Oh hush... this thread is kind a "safe space"
Some posts won't get replied to, but every single post will resonate with someone and make them feel less alone. That much I can pretty much guarantee |
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"Oh and I’m pretty good at killing threads too!
Oh hush... this thread is kind a "safe space"
Some posts won't get replied to, but every single post will resonate with someone and make them feel less alone. That much I can pretty much guarantee "
My "hush" wasn't meant meanly there btw, was a "don't be daft" |
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"Oh and I’m pretty good at killing threads too!
Oh hush... this thread is kind a "safe space"
Some posts won't get replied to, but every single post will resonate with someone and make them feel less alone. That much I can pretty much guarantee
My "hush" wasn't meant meanly there btw, was a "don't be daft" "
I know, my last comment was meant in a tongue in cheek way |
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"Oh and I’m pretty good at killing threads too!
Oh hush... this thread is kind a "safe space"
Some posts won't get replied to, but every single post will resonate with someone and make them feel less alone. That much I can pretty much guarantee
My "hush" wasn't meant meanly there btw, was a "don't be daft"
I know, my last comment was meant in a tongue in cheek way"
Phew. Sometimes I forget not everyone knows my writing style and the way I speak and I have to check myself at times |
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"Oh and I’m pretty good at killing threads too!
Oh hush... this thread is kind a "safe space"
Some posts won't get replied to, but every single post will resonate with someone and make them feel less alone. That much I can pretty much guarantee
My "hush" wasn't meant meanly there btw, was a "don't be daft"
I know, my last comment was meant in a tongue in cheek way
Phew. Sometimes I forget not everyone knows my writing style and the way I speak and I have to check myself at times "
Though I have “thread ending form”, I have built up thick enough skin to not give a shit about replies.
But then that’s the facade winning again! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wish the last few intrusive images that invade my mind when they are least expected and wanted could just go away. I want to feel whole but part of me still doesn't belong to me."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My wife had a serious illness over 4yrs ago now she's recovered thank god but its totally destroyed her sex drive and any attempt to get intimate with her I get pushed away like I'm some dirty disgusting perv she's bumped into in the street, you've no idea how demoralising and worthless I feel now after 4 years of this that my wife doesn't want me in that way,and what's worse is she won't even talk about or admit there is a problem.
Thanks not sure if this site was the answer though, if anyone has helpful advice I'm all ears I'm fresh out of ideas
Her body may have recovered from being seriously ill, but her mind may not have. She could have trauma. Have you spoken about how being unwell may have affected her in that respect, or how it may have impacted you and your own fears?
To add, I'd also suggest counselling, both perhaps of an individual nature and couple's counselling. The counselling can help with communication, which sounds like a huge thing that you both need to repair in your relationship. We've had couple's counselling (long time ago now) and it was absolutely life changing. Not an exaggeration. yep done that been the kind patient considerate husband acknowledged she will take alot of time to recover, suggested counciling to her she went ape shit and didn't speak for 4 days it may well be me that's the problem but truth is I can't get her to talk or acknowledge we need to talk so I don't know what the problem is "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My husband cheated on me and Im trying to stay and be happy but Im so miserable and low and I dont even feel like me anymore Massive hugs to all on this thread  "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Totally alone. I work and go home. Work then go home. In the last ten years I have lost a marriage, home, very good job, £45k, another relationship that was amazing, had a stroke, and all friends are coupled up and have moved on.
I have built up protective walls that don’t allow me to form meaningful relationships and am scared that this is how the rest of my life will be.
I guess I’m lucky in that you’d never know I’ve had a stroke to look at me, I have two amazing sons, I have another good job and I’m buying my first house in years this month. But theees a huge hole and I’m desperately sad. I’ve created a facade that masks it all, but hate being at home alone.
Hey, but I have my healt....oh, right! "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oh and I’m pretty good at killing threads too!
Oh hush... this thread is kind a "safe space"
Some posts won't get replied to, but every single post will resonate with someone and make them feel less alone. That much I can pretty much guarantee "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is lovely, it is good to share. So many of the thoughts/problems we have that we think only we have, are shared by so many others, and you know what we do come out the other side at the end of it, maybe not where or when we thought we would, but we are still here and still us X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is lovely, it is good to share. So many of the thoughts/problems we have that we think only we have, are shared by so many others, and you know what we do come out the other side at the end of it, maybe not where or when we thought we would, but we are still here and still us X"
Oh the unknown.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My husband cheated on me and Im trying to stay and be happy but Im so miserable and low and I dont even feel like me anymore Massive hugs to all on this thread "
Stay strong lovely |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My husband cheated on me and Im trying to stay and be happy but Im so miserable and low and I dont even feel like me anymore Massive hugs to all on this thread "
Big big hugs from me , stay strong my lovely |
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